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Waifu claiming thread. >Procrastination Edition! The rules
Images are sometimes not shown due to bandwidth/network limitations. Refreshing the page usually helps.
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 169
Thread images: 151
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Waifu claiming thread.
>Procrastination Edition!

The rules are very simple:
>claim your 2D waifu/husbando
>post pics of your waifu
>forget your priorities
>keep ERP and RP to a minimum
>tab here every once in a while
>discuss stuff
>post fitting, not over-sexualised content
>most important: Have fun!

Homura claimed
>>
>>
>>
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Peridot claimed.
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>>680655606
Hello there, beautiful.
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So did Kazuki die or what? Haven't seen him today.
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>>680655387
I can't tan. Like physical and for medical reasons. Physically I just turn red right away.
Medically it makes my dopamine skyrocket to the point where I go into manic depressive episodes. So I have to severely limit my outside time.
>inb4 vampire confirmed.
>>
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>claiming yume
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>>680655121
Doing alright, I have some bad news for you though, after you left last night I was still playing crusader kings and the way that game works with holy orders like the Knights Templar who got the kingdom of Greece is that they didn't actually get the kingdom, they got all the territory in what is supposed to be the kingdom but leaders of holy orders are only of duke rank, so they can have counts and barons as their vassals but they can't own kingdoms, so they've already started to fracture into small independent realms owned by counts.
>>
>>680655098
Aw but the day gets so much better when I get to see all of you guys, especially you Tsuyu <3
>hugs back

>>680655387
Damn that sounds way more annoying , I only have one cat and she makes no noises makes me think she is up to something
>>
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>>680655746
>>
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Is chen here?
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Miho claimed
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>>680655709
Dude that fucking sucks. God bless you, man
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>>680655811
Cats are weird

>>680655856
!!!
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>>680655811
Riiiikka <3
>licks the face of cuteness

But yes I hope your day gets better friendo
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I always seem to check it right as the new thread starts.

What would you most like to eat right now?
>>
>>680655885
nope, sorry.
>>
360 no scope sharpie in my tight virgin ass
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>>680655960
In all honesty it's probably what pushed me into dealing. It's one of the few jobs I can do all night and sleep throughout the day. Sadly some people made special orders so I have to go out and deliver that soon.

>one love
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>>680655709
Shit i was outside for a hour in the sun yesterday and burned my forehead.
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>>680656180
You~
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>>680656263
best girl
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Eve claimed.
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Tenryuu claimed

Nap = Unsuccessfull
I'm feeling dead inside
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>>680656290
That would probably be enough to where I would need to get some serious shade or my mental stability would start to slip.

>>680656311
I like you.
>>
>>680656063
Yeah but so so so cute!

>>680656130
>licks your face back
Tsuyuuuuu <3

Thanks man I think it will, its my lil sisters B day today so it for sure will get better

>>680656245
Bang
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>>680655401
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AE5a0X5VTrU
Plz sub
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>>680656495
You wake me up inside
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>>680656495
Na Salzstreuer wie gehts?
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last claim, ill be back in 2 hoursish
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>>680656521
<33333

>>680656553
Life is good

That's great! Have fun whenever that happens and dont forget your waifu buddies <3
>>
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>>680656463
Long time no see bro.
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>>680656753
kek
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOsck7jYUsE
>>
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>>680656311
Froggo y
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>>680656180
Pulled pork sandwich from subways

>>680656280
Damn dude. One love?

>>680656553
Picked up a kitten and it went limp. Way different from dogs

>>680656809
We'll be waiting
>>
Madoka claimed
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>>680656910
Yesssssssss

>>680657038
They ordered some white rhino, so i was making that while I was posting. Hench the bob marley.

>>680656180
Lobster with butter, some sweet potatos, and blue corn.
>>
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>>680656944
Save me from the song.

so many people here have a vast collection of musical memes
I don't have shit.

>>680655690
>noticed
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>>680656753
>can't wake up.png

>>680656768
Eigentlich ganz gut. Hab heute aus versehen ne GraKa gekillt. Nicht meine, aber trotzdem. Und das Nickerchen war für'n Arsch.

>>680656944
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvjTz5r-B6k
>>
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>>680657496
2/10
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>>680656180
Literally eating chicken and potatos, BUT if I could, I would love to be eating some sushi

>>680656910
Youre super right life is good, I could never forget all of you guys <3 never

>>680657038
hnnnnnnnnng tooooooo cute, youre gonna make me wanna get another one, a white one

>>680657088
Hey Madoka
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>>680657597
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkCNGzE28W8
>>
Kys
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>>680655746
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>>680656180

A decent pizza or a beef bowl.

Doot doot.
>>
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>>680657469
>>680657496
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hV-DTjJrP4o
>>
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>>680657496
oh man... wie? warum?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-PtfyRjkn40
>>
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Akiko claim

>>680655690
I thought that was me for a second

>>680657469
Not yuuko, Yuuuuuuuuko
>>
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>>680657496
https://youtu.be/jLG_P8IyqGI
>>
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>>680657757
That bass made me wet.
>>
why do I hate music, /b/
Why can I not enjoy it
>>
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>>680657304
Ooohhhhh you're taking about the weed. I smoked and got high once. The stuff was called OG13. Are you familiar with the name?

>>680657748
I'm more of a dog person. Never had a cat. Except for this one cat that came to my place at 4pm everyday. I open the door and it meows and rubs all over me and the front door.

>>680657869
Loving it
>>
>>680658022
Akkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkkkkkkkkooooooooo

>>680657950
I'm not gunna enter this challenge i'd get slaughtered.
>>
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Tatsuta claimed.

>>680656495
Don't lie. You're always feeling dead inside whenever I am not here.
>Jokes aside, naps are never a good idea
>>
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>>680658340
https://youtu.be/FcIEqDNyG-4
>>
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>>680657304
Love you <3

>>680657748
You're my favorite waifu squad member <3

>>680656957
Because you look tasty~
>>
I missed like three threads
>>
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>>680658360
Thanks, I love Peridot too.
>>
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>>680658022
Hey Akiko~

>>680658491
Hello Tatsuta!
>>
Gotta drive, be back in a bit love you all <3
>>
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>>680658360
>OG13
I can find strain called G13 but no I've never heard of it.

And it's pretty much weed. It's nugs of weed rolled in extract oil to get sticky then I roll them in Coke.

>>680658535
I... I love you too...

>>680658574
Welcome back.
>>
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https://youtu.be/YctIxYCnbTQ

Rumor has it Anthony Fantano sent Zach Hill a USB-stick containing a 13.32gb compressed zip folder of select dick claps from his many masturbations to the Money Store, in completely uncompressed 320kbps WAV format, at a sample-rate of 96kHz.

Contained within the folder were various different categories such as wet, dry, lubricated, and rough. Inside each were the respective sub-folders of chopped dick claps, miscellaneous ball scratches, jap claps, and looped dick claps at varying tempos.

There was also a text document, which requested that Zach Hill would use these sound files in one of their projects in order to add a new and raw percussive element to their instrumentation.

Fantano also requested a rim job from Stefan, simultaneous to a request for Andy to tickle his nipples. Fantano also enclosed a creased Death Grips t-shirt for the band to sign, smeared with a translucent liquid, and spattered with a powder which seemed to be vegan samosa seasoning.
>>
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>>680658506
Shit like this existences......
>>
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>>680658622
Hi. Who said that you could borrow my clothes? Only Tenryuu gets to do that...
>>
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>>680658901
Oh I'm sorry, don't hurt me.
>>
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>>680658574
I missed your legs!
>>
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>>680658852
Have you ever been on soundcloud? That shit was the tip of the Death Grips ice berg man...
>>
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>>680656180
Something warm would be nice....a pizza or something...salami and cheese only

>>680658491
>You're always feeling dead inside whenever I am not here.
Maybe
But naps are just a bad idea. Too long, and you feel like dead.

>>680658622
>>680658901
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGp9P6QvMjY


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvkrpWM1ssM
>>
>>680658770
C'mere, let me claim you~
>>
>>680658360
Ive always wanted a dog but everywhere I go I cant have one which sucks, what kind of dog do you have? Is it a weiner dog?!?

>>680658535
Aw thank you tsuyu! you just give the most love and this is why you are my favorite waifu <3
>>
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>>680658852
https://youtu.be/fsGDtCFPkxk
>>
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>>680659150
I.. I dont know if I'm ready.. Please be gentle..
>>
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>>680659124
I dont use sound cloud to often.
>>
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>>680658770
You seem new, are you?

>>680659096
Always nice to see you
>>
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>>680659066
I don't know... You did apparently invade my closet. How will you make up for this?

>>680659137
I told you so. Never nap. You'll become a zombie afterwards. Besides, I wouldn't want you to sleep without my pillows.
>>
>>680658360

I like animals, but I've always been partial to the small furry ones.
>>
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I'm going to bed.

Night

>>680659339
Night <3
>>
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>>680659531
I swear it won't happen again!

>>680659623
Good night!
>>
>>680659569
they are usually the most delicious.

>>680659623
Goodnight beautiful, sleep well even though i'll probably see you in a half hour.
>>
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>>680659623
Suuuure.....
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>>680659531
>You'll become a zombie afterwards
That's what i am every morning....before i get my shower and my breakfast.
>I wouldn't want you to sleep without my pillows.
But you weren't available to the time when i wnent to nap....

Never talk to me until i got my breakfast.

>>680659438
>that filename
kek
>>
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>>680659339
They are fucking everywhere. Top tier may may.
soundcloud DOT com napemango remove-gas-pedal

>>680659438
Very new. Only been here a few days. Call me Haruhi I guess.
>>
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>>680659438
>this pic
its so fuckin nice!
>>
>>680658599
Welcome to the thread, friend

>>680658770
Sounds like a crazy high. Friend told me thats what we smoked and I laughed my ass off walking in circles while everyone was chill

>>680659197
And a chihuahua

>>680659569
Got a dachshund and a chihuahua
>>
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>>680659623
Night my sweet peach <3
>>
>>680659884
yeah, thanks for the welcome.
that's a cute waifu you got there
>>
>>680659884
Oh no way im so jealous of you right now!
>>
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>>680655651
no I claim peridot

pls
>>
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>>680659884
I personally hate yayo. It's never the same quality and it has to be top tier for it to be worth it. JUst doing lines of it makes the day horrible cause I want to do ALL THE THINGS but I don't have the mental power to keep up with my body.
>>
>>680659756
Please do not eat your hamsters and hedgehogs. They are adorable. Also mice.

>>680659884
You do? Awww.

Badger dogs are great. They're hunting dogs and need exercise and some specialized care, iirc.
>>
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>>680660304
Bit late anon.
I'm sorry, but I already claimed the dorito.
>>
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>>680659730
Ufufu~ that doesn't answer my question. How are you going to make this up to me? And don't tell me that Sayaka is going to do it for you. Now, speak up.

>>680659809
If you don't let me shower first thing in the morning I will bring out my naginata. And you don't want that now, do you?
>But you weren't available to the time when i wnent to nap....
Stop sneaking off to your own room. You know that you are allowed into my room. In fact, we should just ask the admiral "nicely" to merge our rooms together. Or to let us move into our own place.
>>
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I need peri cuddles
>>
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>>680659832
well nice to meet you

>>680659866
I know

>>680660304
>>680660508
>fighting over a rock
>>
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Note: just hopping in and out the thread inbetween URF matches, so that's why I'm scarcely answering.
I'll dedicate my night to you guys
>>
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>>680660619
The pleasure is all mine.
>>
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>>680660514
I don't know, what do you want me to do? I can't think of anything!
>>
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>>680660476
ok i wont eat mine.
>>
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>>680660537
Peri only cuddles who claimed her first anon.
>>680660619
A cute rock!
>>
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>>680660508
Nu.

We're sharing.
>>
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Am i too late?
>>
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>>680660065
I tried watching Steven universe but it's like watching adventure time. What's her story? All I know is that she's a villain

>>680660375
Hey gotta hustle though right?

>>680660293
>>680660476
I'm stuck and will die due to natrual causes
>>
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>>680660514
>And you don't want that now, do you?
Please not outside of Yasen....
>Stop sneaking off to your own room
But you weren't there, so i thought "Why not going into my own room?"
> we should just ask the admiral "nicely"
With your definition of "nice"?
>Or to let us move into our own place.
If we could find a nice place outside the base...
>>
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>>680660708
Don't you have a passion for food? Why don't you give some to Tenryuu? Or give me some ingredients so that I can cook for her.
Making me do your job for you... Sigh...
>>
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>>680660896
No I need the doreet to survive.
>>
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>>680660896
https://youtu.be/yTOwMeimSl4
>>
>>680660959
Alright, alright.
But I cuddle her first.
>>680661009
Peridot made her first appearance as a villain, and had several fun adventures on Earth, trying not to get killed.
She crash lands, has more adventures, gets a big hug, gets a shirt, gets a telephone, calls her mom, calls her a nigger, then joins the crew.
The first few episodes of the show are boring, so I advise you push through them. It's a good show, you just have to wait a bit.
>>680661121
Well, we can't split her three ways!
...you get to cuddle last.
>>
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It's time.. though i don't want to stay awake for long..
The White Lily Of Stalingrad Claimed
>>
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Tomoko claimed.
Hesitant one, I guess.
>>
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>>680661018
>But you weren't there
Maybe I was and you just didn't search well enough?
>With your definition of "nice"?
As far as I am concerned, the admiral owes us a great deal. Not only have we done him a massive amount of favours, but we also train most of the destroyers at the base. Especially Akatsuki. She is always so eager to ask you and I questions, Tenten.
>If we could find a nice place outside the base...
Oh, don't you worry. I'll talk to the admiral about it. I'm sure that he'll find something for us. Something that lines up with our remands.
>>
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>>680661009
Exactly. It's what sells out here. If I got into heroin and meth I would make a FUCKLOAD more, but my clientele will be totally different. No more college kids who won't notice that they are shoving pretty much baking soda in their nose. All dope heads who've been doing this for years and will know if I put nutmeg in the dope or sugar in the ice.

I don't think I'm ready to go into that market yet. I'd want to be packing as well. Little white boy like me walking down dopeheads alley witha backpacks gonna get me jumped.
I gotta go deliver guys. I'll be back later. Hopefully.
>>
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>>680661428
Why hello syndra
How are you doing this fine evening Qt?
>>
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Fuck. Girl I like is here again and I don't know how to past this odd mental block that prevents me from saying anything. It's not even a fear of rejection - I can handle that just fine. Send help.
>>
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sachi claim
>>
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>>680661428
Hello there, Light.
I'm glad to see you around, hope you're doing well.
>>
>>680661563
*Cough*
I'll let that mistake of yours slide..
>>
>>680661563
sanya*
>>
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>>680661055
Tsk! Okay, but only for this time, you can have some and then we're even, right?

>>680661428
Hi there Sanya!
>>
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>>680661714
I feel you bro, just relax and let your instincts do the talking.
>>
>>680661786
Fuck!

My deepest apologies my queen.
>>
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>>680661512
Hey Tomo

>>680661714
is she younger than 12?
>>
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>>680661563
So im sanya now?
>>
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And here I thought that I missed my chance~

>>680661940
That's better. But I'm deciding what to do with you...
>>
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>>680661378
well she could be between us in the bed for snuggles and we could take her places together

no need for jealousy
>>
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>>680661530
>Maybe I was and you just didn't search well enough?
Where were you?
>As far as I am concerned, the admiral owes us a great deal
So...yes?
>I'm sure that he'll find something for us. Something that lines up with our remands.
And please not only 1 sleeping room
>>
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>>680661974
No.

>>680661921
If I do that, I'll walk out without saying a word.
>>
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>>680661981
Never!
You could never reach such heights!

>>680662040
P=please...be merciful..
>>
>>680659197
I give you all the loves because you're pretty cool and you deserve them :3

>>680659294
I will be don't worry <3
>>
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>>680662076
Hm.
You make an interesting deal, but there's a third guy and I don't think we can equally snuggle her without making it slightly awkward.
>>
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>>680661003
Never

>>680661378
So she's a villain turn to hero? Love characters like that

>>680661549
Nah you'll be back. Just have that school shooter look lol

>>680661714
Throw in jokes from time to time when in a conversation. That's what I'm doing with this chick in my psychology class
>>
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>>680662243
>>
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>>680662118
I don't know exactly what situation you are in but why are you lurking /waifu/ instead of going to her right now? Don't lose any more chances.
I also don't know what is your current relationship with her but can't you just strike a random conversation? You're good at it here, im sure you can do it with her too.
>>
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>>680662445
Yeah.
After she joins the team, she continues to learn important values as she makes friends.
Important values like what a shirt is, and how to hold a drill.
Also she lives in a bathroom, then a barn, and she is short.
>>
>>680661981
better than your shit waifu
>>
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>>680662547
>>680662445
I only see her while she's at work. I have no idea how to work with the necessarily short conversations we have. Maybe I should just give up on this one.
>>
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>>680662243
You did apologize.

Don't slip again.
>>
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>>680662444
no that was also me. there is no third guy

it's totally fine

sharing is caring
>>
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>>680661898
Pocky? After sneaking in and stealing an outfit of mine? I don't even know you that well. You'd better produce something better than that...

>>680662097
>Where were you?
If I told you I wouldn't be able to continue using that spot.
>And please not only 1 sleeping room
1 bedroom. King-size bed. That way you can distance yourself if you feel like it. Same goes for me. But why would that ever happen...
>>
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>>680662879
not exactly giving up if you never tried to begin with
>>
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>>680662879
Stay cool, if you're going to give up on her then its always worth to at least try. Didn't you say you weren't scared of rejection?
>>
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>>680662040
It's nice to see you Mikan~ How are you?

>>680661732
>>680661898
Hello to both of you

What is everyone listening to~?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUWe_nJ7sQ0
>>
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>>680662964
You missed a while thread where they smacked me around with boatfus, forced me to eat and fatten up and then tried to cook me :(
>>
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Claimed
>>
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>>680663105
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU4nEOYisCs
>>
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Mmm, Stocking claimed.
Watd I miss gals?
>>
>>680663240
God awful furry piece of shit yiff in hell
>>
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>>680662445
You actually noticed
How Nice of you
>>
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>>680663104
I'm not. I just have this odd mental barrier that says the relationship we currently have is a strictly professional one and it would be inappropriate to make any advances beyond that boundary.
>>
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>>680663067
Eh, sure, I guess.
What kind of games do you think she'd like?
>>
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>>680663342
Let's not start this again.
>>
>>680663338
Me! >licky licky

...and also this
>>680663142
>>
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>>680663543
Yes I did!
>>
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>>680663091
>If I told you I wouldn't be able to continue using that spot.
You just want to hide it from the DDs...
>1 bedroom. King-size bed
>But why would that ever happen...
Damn, but yeah, your pillows are pretty comfy
>>
>>680663523
Just go yiff somewhere else ya fucking cocksucker. Nobody wants to know that you fuck animals
>>
>>680663684
All right, let me get laptop.
>>
Anyone else bake please, im kinda busy
>Homu
>>
On it
>>
>>680662701
Das a cute. In shinoa bro btw

>>680662879
Know anything she likes? Throw some references in there if not, I try to make the conversation last by talking about work an carrying it on from there

>>680663352
You've been coming here quite often. Ever joined in on the convo? That's how you get recognized. Im shinoa bro
>>
>>680663684
>>680663747
You just fanned the flames bub
>>
next thread is going to be filled with furries. I'm calling it
>>
>>680664025
Thanks to that anon telling the furfag to yoff in hell instead of ignoring him
>>
>>680664030
>>
>>680663496
I gotta say likely classic Atari/NES stuff that she could get used to easily.

>wake up at 3 am to see peridot playing space invaders and dig dug
>>
>>680663887
I come here to watch the conversation,i rarely get involved,but ill try to do it more
Thread replies: 169
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