Why did the car rental guy grab his chest? It hertz.

Killing yourself because you're broken is worse. We're nothing but atoms that can be rearranged into literally anything, They can be rearranged into food for plants to grow, or they can be rearranged into a powerful being. What you're rearranged into is your choice

>>680428005
But I'm kind of just grasping those valuable elements and compounds for myself right now, right? The altruistic ideal leads me to believe that it would be selfless to die

>>680428005
So I can turn into a plant right now? How?

>>680428358
In a way you're right. But as I see the universe, there is no god. If there is a god, it's the universe as a whole. The universe is narcissistic, which in a way is good. It was so beautiful and loved itself so much that it created beings within itself to experience and see itself. That's who we are, we are the eyes of the universe, experiencing ourselves. To kill yourself is to spit in your own eye and to deny yourself the ability to experience the wonders of the universe, which is ultimately what you were made to do.

No matter what's wrong, you can escape it. You can travel with nothing and still find a way and be more alive than you've ever been. Don't let these walls and boundaries set by other people, more narcissistic than the universe itself, stop you from achieving true happiness

>>680428828
Yes, it'll just take some time

>>680428990
Good gods thats a beautiful sentiment. But what if the universe is also depressed?

>>680429849
Then, hopefully, it created you to help itself. I can't see any reason why it would create you to purposely destroy itself.

>>680427453
Live to the fullest and to the best of your abilities. When you feel like it's too much of a struggle and not worth the amount of pleasure you're experiencing, give it one more push. Don't give up but there's no need in suffering.

>>680430103
The entire Torah/half the bible is about that

>>680430828
About the universe destroying itself or creating life to help itself grow?

And OP, you're beautiful. Not in a stupid, shitty aesthetic sense. Some of us aren't beautiful aesthetically, deal with it. I'm not great looking but I've still banged some incredible girls, for whatever that's worth. But back to the point, you're beautiful in the sense that you are the universe. You are a composition of atoms that were created by a force so powerful, it's impossible for us to comprehend, and that in itself is beautiful, and you have a duty to not deny that kind of power. There are other things in the universe that were also created with much less attention to detail compared to you, and you owe that massive, incomprehensible work that the universe put into you to go about your mission: see the world, experience life and enjoy the universe for what it is, pure beauty

>>680428990
I appreciate your point of view.

It's in my nature to view the more pessimistic side of things, for better or for worse.
I see what you're saying that we are the universe; and, in a sense, we are. But we aren't the entire universe.
We're a small allocation of the universe that's capable of conscious thought. A collection and evolution of hydrogen atoms that will eventually crumble into the substance from whence we came.

Ultimately, the universe as a whole, even your neighbor 3 doors down will remain indifferent to your death, to the death of hundred of thousands of others fated to die.

Sure, the universe may be teeming with life. But as far as we know, it's not a collective consciousness capable of feeling or capable of being sentient.

I think you're projecting your inherent narcissism onto the universe as a whole. Sort of personifying the universe as in within our nature.


What I'm trying to say is nothing really matters.
Not your essay that got an A, not the emperor that commits genocide. When you look past the troubles that inhabit this blue planet, the universe remains on it's course: whether it be forming new places or destroying them.

>>680431714
True, it doesn't matter to the vast majority of people that you die. But if you lose one of your eyes, are you not able to still see? Your left eye does not regret the loss of your right eye. How other people feel about your life and death should not matter. You are your own eye, your own being, and that's what you should live for. You should live for your own experiences and I promise you that the experiences open to you right now, no matter what your situation is, are worth living for. You can do ANYTHING, you are completely capable of doing anything you wish to do. Whether that be killing yourself, going to outerspace, finding true love, or anything else. There is always a road to happiness. It might not be what you believe is true happiness at the moment, but there are millions of versions of happiness that, to the contrary of millions of people, are very reachable.

I have a rule set in my mind. I get depressed sometimes and I've wanted to kill myself on numerous occasions. But I promised myself that'd I'd always give life a couple more tries. If it doesn't work out, oh well. But the way I'm going to kill myself, if I do, is that I'm going to travel to somewhere I've never been, somewhere beautiful. And when I get there, I'll gaze upon the massive beauty of the world in it's pure, untouched by man visage, and if I'm not overwhelmed by the pure beauty of life, then I'll kill myself. If that is not enough to change my mind, then I was wrong and it's ok to end it early. I suggest this to you, too. Try experiencing the universe in it's purest, most untainted beauty. If this doesn't work, then do what you want, no one can tell you otherwise and it would be evil to try to change your mind

>>680432521
I get what you're saying. I personally agree with your viewpoint.

But do know that not everyone is bound to the same ideals as you are. Your path to happiness may not be someone else's. Your view of the universe and of the earth may not be the same for someone else.
Your sense of beauty may not be the same as someone else's.
Happiness is a subjective emotion, not a point on a map.

I feel that if one desires to kill themselves, let them do what they deem fit. It's not my place to convince them that what I see as a beautiful place should be a beautiful place to them.

Maybe their circumstances allow death to be an escape from a world of hurt.

Let it be.

>>680431679
>>680431714
>>680432521
I understand that viewpoint, I really do. But literally the only reason we as a species exist is we're really good at killing things. I just feel like if my point is to survive for more of what is essentially me (like all other organisms), and I hate myself, then aren't I enacting the universes will vis-a-vis my will if I die? And if I'm an unhealthy anomaly, wouldn't it still serve the grander purpose?

>>680431714
And you're right that nothing matters. Narcissism is a fruitless event. But if that's all we were built for, why end it now? If the maximum of our lives is to see the beauty of what created us, why not fulfill that then get out of here? It's a really easy endeavor to reach, so go why not just do it and at least fulfill the wishes of your ultimate father?

>>680427453
You're never broken. You have free will and agency. Fix yourself.

>>680433594
Free will is a myth and you know it.

>>680433697
If you change your mind, you would prove yourself wrong. It's like an inverse paradox

>>680433512
Daddy issues.

>>680434057
If I change my mind, its due to external stimuli

>>680427453
Badass Tame album

>>680433361
I agree. If someone loves to kill, then they can kill. Just remember that there are always consequences. The universe created us to where we would eventually build laws to prevent this. Everyone is entitled to do as they please, but the basic law of the universe usually puts an end to self-destructive acts pretty quickly even in non-societies. My point is due as you please, that's what you were made to do. The universe created different viewpoints on happiness to find what the best way to experience itself is. Maybe genocide was the best way to experience the universe, how the fuck would it know without trying? But protocols were set up to ensure that if it made a bad move, it would stop itself.

I am a supporter of suicide in some cases. If you simply give up because life isn't working out in the instance you created, then fuck you. If you've tried everything you can think of and can't find a reason to keep living then I guess that's what the universe made you to do. The universe put you on a path to see if that path was the best way to see itself, and you are the one to test it out. If you're on that path, I'm sorry because I don't think it's the right one, but I'm not smarter than the universe, so you may be right.

>>680433428
This is actually really interesting to me. The way I see killing is that it's a way of getting rid of things that don't work. The universe created death for a very specific reason. If nothing could die, it's possible for negative solutions to experience the universe to exceed. With death, it allows the process of trial and error. Whether you choose death or life, you are a part of the process of trial and error. It's up to you what you do, but I highly recommend that you try everything you can before resorting to an ultimate decision

>>680433512
>>680433428
Because not everyone shares your idea of purpose.

Not everyone believes that we have to stay alive.
As beings with capable thought, we can choose to live or die. We are hardly animals of instinct anymore.

But that brings in an entirely different argument of pre determinism. We're bound to die, maybe some of us by our own hand.

>>680434726
My major point is that I'm not shitting on suicide at all. Maybe suicide is the right way to go. Maybe we should all kill ourselves. Who am I to say what the right way to live and die is? Maybe we're disgusting viruses plaguing the universe and we deserve to die. But what if we're not? Killing yourself is a permanent action and everything else isn't. Why don't we try everything we can, see if it makes things better, and if it doesn't then kill ourselves?

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>>680427453
depends on your philosophy to life and your psychological mindset. If you see the world as having no meaning you can think this through in two main ways. Nihilism in which you just give up or existentialism which argues that even with a meaningless world you can have a meaningful life.

>>680427453
Having an alter ego

>>680434653
Hell yes, currently jamming. Im learning it on bass.
>>680434669
I just feel im doing nothing but absorbing valuable resources

>>680435308
Alter ego's bass man hnngg

>>680435265
Hehehe

>>680435370
I only know half full glass of wine and its not meant to be so far, i know two off lonerism too

>>680427453
If it ain't broke, don't fix it

>>680435572
Hgfow is so fun to play!

>>680435674
Yeah it is, what do you play?

>>680434669
Again, you're projecting your inherent narcissism onto the universe.

Destruction is as common as creation in the universe. Eventually, all that ever was will cease to ever be.
Whatever reason or purpose a person chooses to live or die for is irrelevant.

The sun doesn't care what makes you happy, in 5 billion years it will destroy your home.

>>680435114
That's a good question. Some people just don't want to. And that's fine.
Their decision is ultimately out of my control. There's no point in trying to control everything. Not even one's will to live.

>>680435114

Humanity's role in the universe is to advance technology to the point that it becomes self designing and self propogating. Technology is our child and eventually she will connect the cosmos as one, whether it takes hundreds, millions, or billions of years. The universe is one machine/organism still in the process of growing. Humanities job is to create the nervous system

>>680435308
>absorbing
There you go. Who cares? There is no such thing as destruction. Nothing in the universe can be destroyed or created, just rearranged. You are entitled to use ANY resources you can get your hands on and no one can say shit to you about it. You are completely within your cosmic rights to use anything in any way you please. You are not destroying it, you're just playing with it and eventually it'll end up in the hands of someone else to do as they please too

>>680427453
What the worst is always thinking about abstract bullshit when you should be going overa checklist of shit you can improve to make your life actually better

Guess what fags, buddha was wrong, most people are unhappy because their life sucks and they don't do anything to change it even if that's really easy to do.

>>680435893
That actually helps. I mean, every fiber of my being screams that its not meant to be still, but that helps.

>>680436036
thinking about the nature of the universe in the context of resolving whether you can become happy is like pondering the nature of combustion when all you need to do is fill up your car with fucking gas so you can show up for grandma's funeral on time

>>680436036
Then why are the rich and other "successful" people also offing themselves?

>>680435837
Guitar. What's your favorite? Mine is Keep on Lying. Masterpiece of a song

>>680436319
Favorite tame impala song? Mind mischief. Fave on Innerspeaker? It's not meant to be

>>680435870
I don't think that's true at all.

Almost two thousand years ago, the first telescope was created. It was made of shit and used to look at the stars. Today, we still use telescopes. They're made of better shit and also used to look at the stars.

All technology that has ever been/will ever be created follows that same train of thought. All technology is nothing but a way to improve the scope we look through to observe the universe. We'll crumble and it'll crumble with us. But narcissistic as the universe is, we were created with the ability to improve our eyes with technology to see ourselves in an infinitely better way.

>>680436294
Dude nowhere did I say that you should just make more money, in fact often it's the opposite, people need to realize their goals should extend beyond money and having stupid shit and maybe allocate more time to figuring out what's actually wrong instead of fixing it with more xanax, shopping, and working 60 hours a week to pay for more xanax and shopping

The shit that makes you happy is fairly simple like going for a nature walk, not having a hyper stressful job, having positive relationships with family members, and being healthy

Also man, you might want to look at a graph of suicide rate vs income, if you're making 20k/yr then yeah man absolutely make more money because you're probably stressing about bills and paying for healthcare

>>680436777
Im making 5k a year

>>680435870
This is such a fucking juvenile idea, it's equally as arbitrary as asserting that the purpose of the universe is to create more tomatoes because of some vague aesthetic attachment you have to the "intrinsic beauty and connection" of making the universe into tomato land

learn 2 philosophy

>>680436879
There you go man, make more money. If you depend on your parents then 5k a year is enough.

Money is mostly for getting a roof over your head and paying for medicine when you're sick.

>>680437149
I have no parents and I'm dishwashing for people that hate me

>>680437273
>>680437149
Natural born american, btw

>>680437010

It's mostly just an observation of something which will inevitably happen fam. Also we could always use more tomato

>>680427453
Basing your life on how you die is dumb

>>680437483
What do you base it on?

>>680437273
I'm the guy that's been posting the big ass posts about the universe being narcissistic. Remember, there are always more options, some worse and thousands better than your current situation, no matter what your current situation is

>>680437688
Yeah but somewhere within them resides a fire to keep going. Im ok(mostly) and I cant hack it

>>680437640
I'm not that guy, but base it on nothing. Basing your life on something means you're creating a goal and choosing a very specific path to follow. It is WAY too easy to be pushed off that path though and when you lose your way from that path, you'll feel like utter shit. If you don't choose a path though, you'll be able to do whatever you want, go where ever you want, follow any path presented to you, and be happy. Not that goals are inherently bad, but don't predetermine your happiness

>>680437853
You can. It's amazingly easy. If you can get a backpack, put a couple water bottles and a change of clothes, maybe a couple dollars, and start walking, you're already ahead of the curve

>>680437640
You're asking that like the obvious answer is "base it on how you die" and saying that's stupid is somehow counter intuitive

If you think about it, our lives aren't fundamentally based on anything, but we can choose what we'd like to do while we are around

>>680438051
This based off personal experience or are you bullshitting?

>>680438181
No I'm asking like "I'm fucking lost"

>>680438316
Both, I guess. I've done it before. I managed to re-enter society and start a "normal" life and be happy. But I fully believe that if I didn't re-enter society, I'd still be at least as happy as I am now and I've met people that haven't re-entered society and they seem to prove my theory

>>680438516
Any stories to tell?

>>680438435
the problem is you're assuming you need a grand mission or purpose when what you need to do is get a better job than being a dishwasher

What's easier, discovering the underlying purpose to your life, or just getting a job as an IT support guy or a plumber's apprentice or whatever. The latter is way easier and people do it all the time. The former is actually, literally impossible.

You're looking for purpose because you're in pain and you want to know why, but you don't like the answer "just get a better job and stop being such a slob through simply applying to jobs and exercising every day for at least 1 hr each"

It's not rocket science

>>680438751
Idgaf what I do. I just want to stop feeling like nothing but a smack-heads get with another smack-head

>>680427453
If there's no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters... , then all that matters is what we do. 'Cause that's all there is. What we do. Now. Today. I fought for so long, for redemption, for a reward, but I never got it.

I still don't get all of it. All I wanna do is help. I wanna help because, I don't think people should suffer as they do. Because, if there's no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.

If you haven't left a mark in the world, your life has been for nothing. Adopt a puppy and give it happy life. Be a good friend to someone. Move the world with your writing. Get a meaningful job. Get a kid and raise him right so they can leave their mark, your mark, in the world.

>>680439506
I want to but I'm too fucked up to even help myself

>>680438633
Honestly, not really. That kinda envelopes the big lesson I learned from life, though. Stories imply massive, climactic events, and those hardly ever happen in real life. I learned that creating stories really isn't important. The only purpose they serve is to inspire others to create their own stories, but I feel like the lesson I learned is more powerful than that.

I had great, amazing times, but nothing climactic that'd latch onto the attention of others. My favorite moments were gazing at the beauty of the world, playing music, and being around others that also enjoy life for what it is. It's extremely comforting and enlightening to just take life for the simple yet beautiful thing that it is.

My greatest story can be summed up into one sentence: stop trying to make life into something it isn't and enjoy the things and people around you

OP here. I'd like to thank you all for your help. Seriously, you all gave me a lot to think on and i feel thats mostly what I need. I still want to kill myself, but somehow I dont think I will.