the power the get dubs

>>679632564
*trips

>>679632614
**tripsss

>>679632636
here we go trips

>>679632676
fuck

>>679632676
nice superpower faggot

>>679632501
You may go through walls, but only as long as it has mona lisa perfectly drawn in it

>>679632706
>777

>>679632501
You cause a damp stain on every wall you pass through which contains your DNA

>>679632501
You can only go through walls you're permitted to go through

The power to fuck any 8 years old girls everytime everywhere

>>679632501
Ok, the power to look like we pulled me out of a anime, but i still look like if someone drew me and to have sans's powers from undertale, yep

>>679632803
But they're all 40 year old basement dwellers.

>>679632803
But whenever you do, your penis turns 1inch of both length and girth

>>679632803
But only if they are Muslim.

>>679632501
You may go through walls only if they have an open door on them.

>>679632803
Only if they have the downs.

I can repeat any 24 hours an infinite number of times. Like Groundhog Day but with control

>>679632826
BUT you turn gay

>>679632803
But you'll be worshipped by countless brown sand people for it.

I'll take one IQ of 1,500 pls thx

>>679632956
But the days you do repeat, you are turned into a midget

>>679632956
But you can only do it immediately after masturbating.

>>679633006
Stephen hawking mode without the high-tech chair

>>679633006
Too bad you now suffer from a horrible case of cranial encephalitis, requiring your very own train to move your gigantic head around.

Power o change myself in to dust and controll it anytime

The power to punch things really, really hard.

>>679633177
You may only do so in the presence of a janitor with a high powered vacuum cleaner.

I wanna be able to cum as hard as a bullet.
They'll will never see it cumming when I start jacking it at a bank robbery.

>>679633009
Kek. I din't see that coming
>>679633019
This isn't bad at all. I can jack off every 24 hours

>>679633266
But your cock goes limp for 1 year after every bullet

>>679633220
But in counter-effect, you feel whatever you punched

>>679633424
*the pain

>>679632501
but you can't move outside of walls. you have to live your entire life on the inside of walls.

>>679632803
But you go to prison for 25 years every time

>>679632956
But you age normally, so the moment of your death is moving back by 24 hours every time

>>679633006
But all your blood is diverted towards your brain, so your muscles barely work and you have to live on life support
>inb4 telekinesis

>>679633177
but you dont have the power to change back from dust

>>679633220
but you loose the ability to punch things lightly. everyone you firstbump dies

>>679633266
Every time you masturbate you cause massive damage to your house

>>679632966
Small price to pay

>>679633491
>everyone I fistbump dies
I can live with that.

I can learn in one minute what it takes a lifetime for anyone else to

>>679632826
But your autism doubles in power every time you use them.

>>679633595
You can only learn one thing, though.

>>679633595
But you're limited to what you can store in a 12gig flashdrive.

The power to teleport at will, naturally.

Ability to rape anyone without them pressing charges.

>>679633720
but you can't bring your clothes so you end up naked everytime

>>679633720
But only to places that have your cum on them.

>>679633595
But you forget it in an hour

>>679633595
But every time you do it you also experience a lifetime's worth of brain injuries, e.g. strokes, hemmorhages

>>679633749
But only in the ass.

>>679633749
it can only be old people over the age of 60

>>679633678
Means .txt with the meaning of life, and written instructions on how to be god. Neat.

Omnipotency.

>>679633828
>>679633838
I can live with both.

The power of being drunk whenever I want without alcohol

>>679633720
Every time you teleport money equivalent to the cab fare it would have taken to get there disappears from your bank account/wallet.

>>679633749
Every time you do so you get another STD.

Know the identity of every anon by looking at their post

>>679632501
Being able to control time
>go back
>go forwards
>pause it

>>679633974
You get a hangover 10 times worse

>>679633889
>Implying you know how to learn that.

>>679633974
But everyone knows you have this power.

>>679634017
But your dick shrinks the more you use it

>>679633935
But you only know that you're omnipotent because and ancient book says so and you're restrained from using your powers until the judgement day.

>>679634145
I could use a penis reduction anyway.

>>679634017
Only in intervals of 10 minutes.
Only go forward 10 minutes.
Only go back 10 minutes
Pause it for 10 minutes
10 minute cooldown.

>>679633935
But only within the realm of your mother's basement.

>>679633974
You behave like the sad drunk when you use this power though.

>>679633988
Every time you use this power you get v&d

>>679634017
>go backwards, age in reverse same amount of time
>ditto forwards but grow older
>pause time, you are aware but cannot move or interact with anything until you unpause time
>if you go back in time before you were born or forwards after you die you cannot come back.

Turn myself into a light particle, can shoot lasers, or any any light related.

>>679634342
But you can never change back

>>679634254
>Go back before you were born
>You get born later
What.

>>679634254
I can live with the omnipotency in my mother's basement. Expand it to contain the entire universe in a worst case scenario

>>679634342
When you turn yourself into a light particle you cannot stop until you turn yourself back, nor can you change direction unless you hit a reflective surface. When you shoot lasers you lose a body part because you turned that into a light particle and chucked it at someone.

I get to be the coolest kid in school.

>>679633974
But every time, it lasts at least 72 hours

>>679633988
But every time you look at your own post ID, you have a shocking revelation about yourself that you would be better off not knowing.

>>679634342
But if you hit a surface that absorbs your light, you die.

>>679634519
But you always have a dragon dildo up your ass

>>679634519
But only in a special ed school.

>>679634519
Outside of school, you're the most hated person in the world.

>>679634519
but only because you're black

Power to be invisible or if its possible to get money constantly if not ill just go into peoples houses and theyll think a ghost is robbing them :)

>>679634429
But that would be impossible considering the house above your mother's basement is also part of the universe.

>>679634583
>>679634593
>>679634614
>>679634628
Aww man, just like real school.

>>679632501
the power to get dubs

>>679634656
>become invisible
But you have to constantly scream at the top of your lungs to remain invisible.

>get money constantly
The power only activates when you shit yourself and stops when you take off your shit covered pants and undies.

>>679634656
But when you're making your getaway, cars run you over constantly

>>679634667
Being omnipotent is having absolute control of the universe... Meaning I don't have to follow the laws of the universe...

Super laziness I have the power to be super lazy and be a drain on society and relatives.

>>679634656
You smell like old cheese

The power to hypnotize any person to do my bidding and for them to forget afterwards.

>>679634818
But you also suffer from crippling depression and almost constantly contemplate suicide.

>>679634818
but only because you're black

The power of omnipotent creation

>>679634884
You can only do so in a very public area with people surrounding you.

>>679634884
they forget what they did, but they remember being hypnotized by you

>>679634884
they only forget it for 5 seconds

>>679632501
I can turn into any animal i want and keeping my human consciousness when i'm transformed.

>>679634906
But you have a group of ants crawling all over your feet chanting your name and another group constantly biting you and killing the other group of ants.

>>679635027
You look like a furry in a fursuit to any other human though.

>>679635027
But you can never turn back into a human.

>>679635038
Omfg My MIGHTY MINIONS MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I want the ability to make any woman spontaneously clone, with the new clone having all of the lifeskills acquired by the mother but clean slate regarding sexual preferances or memories.

>>679635152
They're ants though. They can't really do much other than chant your name.

>>679635192
They all irrevocably hate you though.

>>679635192
But they hate you

>>679635192
But they're feminists!

>>679634802
Keked

>>679632768
however your DNA is logged onto a police database that classifies you as a pedophile with a 5-star wanted level

Power to alter peoples states of mind, from sad to happy etcetera

The power to make anybody anywhere shit themselves.

>>679635464
After it wears off they feel incredible anger towards you.

>>679635491
To activate this power you must shit yourself.

>>679632501
I have the power to shrink to the size of an ant like Ant-man

>>679632501
I have the power to remove any restrictions for this superpower

>>679635583
But you don't have any superpower.

>>679632956
however to do so, you have no penis

>>679635571
You may not grow back to your normal size.

The power to produce limitless cash at a whim

The power to reverse any criticisms thrown my way.

>>679636011
You produce it by shitting pennies

>>679636011
After you get the cash uou are always being chssed by cops

>>679636011
But it's only in 1 dollar Zimbabwe denominations that takes an hour to generate.

>>679636163
kek

The power to see all children naked.
Only works on niggers tho

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>>679635654

>>679636339
And every time you do you end up in Ethiopia

Can control acceleration/deceleration

>>679636362
Your power is to remove limitations on the superpower that you don't actually have. So you're just a muggle in all but name.

>>679636085
but you are proved incorrect soon after and suffer colossal butt-hurt, even if it breaks the laws of space and time to achieve to opposite of what you believe.

>>679636085
But they're all true, you're wrong and you're just deluding yourself.

I want the ability to know and communicate to others the exact locations of any intelligent life in the universe

>>679636697
At the cost of no one believing anything you say.

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>>679632501
Probability control. The ability to control the likelihood of any outcome.

>>679636589
He removes other people's limitations. What a nice guy.

>>679636845
but you can't use it for personal gain.

>>679636845
and a fingernail is forcefully removed each time, then it goes to the toes after 10 times

The power to turn anything into a bomb
>inb4 you must be muslim/shout aloha snackbar

>>679636845
You are however banned from any gambling establishment, legal or not.

>>679637093
but the fuses are duds

I want the power to create a portal around my penis, with the other end being wherever I want.

Remote controlled rape.

>>679636776
Allright then...then I want the power to instill into any mind of my choosing the understanding that unifies relativity with quantum mechanics.

>>679632501
I CAN SHOOT BUBBLES OUT OF MY DICK!

>>679636581
You may only accelerate/deccelerate things by .1 meters a second though.

>>679637415
but you cannot use it on anyone with any decent reputation in the scientific community

>>679637415
Their heads asplode immediately thereafter.

>>679637388
but within the portal dimension, is a nest of wasps

>>679637587
Asplode, what power is this?

>>679637388
second portal only can go to your own anus

>>679637587
Explode. It's an old term, newfag.

>>679636845
You have to be tripping on LSD for power to worl

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>>679636963
>>679637085
>>679637190

The probability that any restriction will fail this one time is 100%

>>679637736
meant for>>679637678

>>679637549
I'm pretty sure it will catch on eventually. Plus noob science underdog will become rockstar forever in my debt, showering me in money and boobies until I die

>>679637719
>Restrictions that cancel out the ability aren't valid
>with the other end being wherever I want.

try again

>>679637804
... and you are complaining why?

The ability to not be b& regardless of what i do

>>679632501
I can get some sweet repeating numbers if i believe in myself really hard.

>>679637804
Too bad by the time 'eventually' rolls over you'd likely be dead or rotting in a gutter somewhere.

The ability to kill. Every time i kill a person their vitality and attributes are added t my collection.

I want the ability to cancel out any and all wireless signals using only my mind, provided the source/destination of that signal is within eyesight.

>>679632501
Gold shit
>imb4 not real gold

>>679637798
Your mom asploded last night.

>>679638076
Only the negative attributes are added. This means if you kill a person that is suicidal, but has 10/10 looks, you only get suicidal.

>>679638139
Your "gold shit" is highly radioactive for some reason.

I want the ability to moderate /gif/ and /s/ by making anon taste whatever he posts. Would clean up that shit real fast!

>>679638004
The FBI is directly connected to your computer's image folders, hidden or not.

>>679638076
You constantly have a SWAT team watching you.

>>679638095
To do so you must stick your ungloved finger in an electric socket while you're barefoot.

>>679638294
You also taste whatever you're making other anons taste.

>>679638294
Instead of the user who posts it, everyone who see's it tastes it, including (and especially) you.

>>679638294
but you have to physically feel what is being posted in order to remove it

>>679633749
It has to be Ed Miliband

I want my finger to become a USB plug, through which I can interface with any device with a USB port using my mind.

>inb4 you can't play gaymes anymore.

>>679633935
Wait, so, basically brain dead?

The power to counter restrictions on my power

>>679638588
If it's USB 3.0 or greater, your head will asplode.

I want to be forever alone.

>>679638588
You must rotate your finger 100 times to find the correct way to insert it into the port.

The ability to do anything I want with no repercussions or restrictions

>>679638588
every time you also download every virus limewire had in its hay-day and Norton can't do shit

>>679638841
This power can only be used in jail.

>>679638718
Because your power is to counter restrictions on a power that doesn't exist, you have no power at all.

You restricted yourself.

>>679638588
You can only interface in MS DOS

>>679638792
feels will cripple you more than you bargained for

>>679638914
But I have the power to counter the restriction of not having a power though

>>679639044
You already have a power. One that's useless, dumbass.

>>679639044
No, because you have the power to counter any restriction on your power. Apart from that power, you have no other power.

>>679638892
So I basically just end up in jail somehow and I can transfer all money from Apple's overseas bank accounts to my account then walk out of the prison
>no repurcussions

the power to give any woman earth-shattering orgasms just by tipping my Fedora

>>679639197
But then your atheism turns into autism.

>>679633802
That would still be really useful. Cum in your house, get a job in a bank and cum in the vault, teleport there at night and then teleport home with all the money.

>>679639167
Not entirely sure which maximum security prison allows inmates access to the internet though. Not to mention once you're out of prison, you're liable to being prosecuted for stealing all of Apple's moolah. You're protected only in prison.

>>679639329
>Implying it hasn't

>>679639197
You aren't immune to vacuum, which is important when the earth shatters.

My penis gains the magical ability to turn into any object or device I choose whenever I scream "BOOM SHAKALAKA"

>>679639197
Every time you tip your Fedora a baby's head explodes and you gain 20% of your body mass

>>679639490
The object is random and may turn out to be a bomb or radioactive.

>>679632501
I'll take the super power to be alright.

>>679639534
i can live with that

>>679639574
You constantly think about suicide but you can never die

>>679639553
b-but you just undid a core piece of my ability... which is "any object or device _I choose_"

EDIT: Apparently the american flag is a street sign, thanks captcha.

>>679639197
It can only be a transgender "woman"

Immortality

>>679639649
I'll be alright.

The ability to cure autism.

>inb4 cant cure self.

>>679639423
The autism gets worse every time after that.

>>679639666
Fine. The objects you can choose from are limited to volatile high explosives or radioactive materials.

>>679639666
>inb4 newfags don't know how to edit posts

Edit: fuck off newfags lurk moar

>>679639822
but you give them cancer

>>679639732
can't die, even if you wanted to. Have fun spending an eternity drifting through space.

>>679639875
Sorry, I'm literally tabbing between forums and /b/

>>679639924
Nothing of value was lost.

>>679639732
You have to be paralysed from the neck down and suffer from terminal cancer.

The ability to cure any disease a child has

The ability to make new, god-tier memes, and have them instantly accepted and adopted by 4chan.

>>679640130
Any disease you cure is transferred to the child's parent/s or guardian/s

>>679633749

But, you lose the ability to use your arms when you go to rape someone.

>>679640180
But only if you post them on /mlp/

>>679640180
At the cost of being a fat, balding, 40 year-old virgin living in his mother's basement with severe autism and no hope of being able to function in normal human society.

>>679640180
you can only think of Milhouse and nothing more

>>679640130
but you may only treat adults.

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>>679640255
Already have the ability to cure autism in exchange for giving cancer. All G
>>679640302
So, no difference...
>>679640321
pic related

>>679640180
but you have to be a brony weeaboo neckbeard with no gf for the rest of your life.

>>679640460
And you're not allowed to explain the treatment or explain why you only do it to adults, so everyone thinks you're just a cunt.

you have immunity to trolls on /b/

The power to grant or remove from myself or others any power or powers natural or supernatural as I will and which function exactly as I intend them to work.

>>679640626
At the cost of being a troll on /b/

The ability to master the pussy game.

>inb4 never erect again.

>>679640680
At the cost of being a 14 year old weaboo that doesn't understand the purpose of the thread.

>>679632501
you emanate cancer and gives it to everyone around you

you adored by everyone and always have people wanting to be around you, also they don't know about your power because if you tell them you die of the cancer, even a hint is enough to do it.

>>679640756
I was just hoping someone would be clever with it.

I'll keep waiting.

>>679640626
but you are powerless against furiously fapping to any trap threads and it is public knowledge to family and friends

>>679640697
The pussy being only felines rather than human vaginas.

>>679640758
At the cost of being unable to tell a lie.

>>679633935

But, if you actually change anything or the order of the universe in anyway you lose your power and return to earth as an Ethiopian child.

my ability is to know every language that ever existed, both written and spoken, and be able to speak/write them fluently.

>>679640857
>i was only pretending
k

>>679640626
Except for maximum jimmy rustleage.

>>679640680
but for everytime you use your superpower, you have to sacrifice 80% of your muscle tissue and 90% of all the blood in your body.

>>679632501
can see through any lie anyone tells

>>679640925
You are however unable to get a job outside of teaching at a government school's language class.

>>679632501
But you can't walk through dried paint

>>679641026
any attempt to call them out on their lie will result in your fist uncontrollably punching your lights out.

>>679640925
but your mother wears army boots

>>679640925
however when you recite it someone else all you can say is you are a serial child molester and demand that you are incarnated in general population and not the segregated area of the prison

>>679641106
>but something that already is true happens
creativity pls

>>679641026
But only when they tell the truth.

>>679632501
can shoot laser out of me eyes

>>679641220
but u cant eat ice>>679641220
cream

>>679641220
This happens uncontrollably every time you open your eyes.

And unlike cyclops, a cool pair of shades wont stop your laser vision.

Power to change races and gender like an octopus changes color.

>>679641293
You cannot change into anything you have already been more than twice.

>>679641293
but using this power gives you diarrea

>>679632501
able to speak with animals

>>679641220
but piss concentrated acid each time

>>679641293
However you only have a degree majoring in women's studies and thus ineligible for any job outside of manual labor that pays below minimum wage.

The power to do a massacre in any school and being able to get away with it with out any law fallowing my footsteps

>>679638588
you have to break and cut your finger into usb shape fully conciously and feeling the pain
you cannot let it in the usb port permanently because it will grow in and you cannot pull it out anymore
so after a few hours you have to pull it out and let it heal first then repeat from start

>>679641293
You become the ugliest fuck of that gender/race whenever it is done.

>>679641407
every animal hates you.

>>679641407
they just call you a fag and nothing more

>>679640912
Whoa that's nasty anon

>>679641407
Can only do so while dressed in a fursuit.

>>679641433
Batman operates outside the law and kicks your ass.

>>679641407
fag

>>679632501
Be superman

>>679640931
Well the point is its a minmaxed get everything weasel wish likely to get you slapped by a genie. I want to see it monkey paw'd.

>>679641433
but anything you feel has sharp edges