I only die when I choose to.

OPs super power is being unable to properly form plurals

>>679608760

The power to illegally download a bear

>>679608856
You have crippling depression

>>679608880

Your superpower is being unable to use the genitive s.
Go fuckyourself with a cactus.

Ability to turn invisible

I can get dubs whenever I want.

>>679608974
after turning invisible you will be a disgusting mexican for two hours

>>679608974

Granted, but you must wear loud and bright reflective clothing, and police sirens on your head

>>679608952
Your crotch smells like bear food.

>>679609093
moot returns
disables dubs

>>679609093
But it only works when no one else is in the thread

>>679609093
You never want to get dubs again

The power to Give any Anon what they want, but only if they give no restrictions or good benefits

I can breathe underwater

qt 3.14 will follow me anywhere I go

>>679609372

Granted, but only in space

>>679609372
You can't breathe above water.

Can stop time for 30 minutes at a time, can use this power 24 times per day

Ability to create new super powers for myself

Ability to conjure food

>>679609372
granted, You are afraid of water

the ability to eradicate all niggers

>>679609465
Granted, but it's all incredibly bland.

>>679609444

Granted, but you can only move when time is frozen.

>>679609444
you freeze in time as well
but you're conscious for it

>>679609444
Granted, but since time is stopped 30 minutes never ends

>>679609506
>is a nigger

>>679609506
But SJWs will scream at you for the rest of your life.

>>679609372
But only in a Hot tub

>>679609579
ffuck

>>679609618
they already do

>>679608760
The ability to make this trend on its own. But I still need your guys help. >>679607253

>>679609506

Granted, but you can only love niggers

I am instantly great at anything I do

>>679609853

Granted, but you can't do anything else.

>ANYTHING
>ELSE

I can make iTunes leave me the fuck alone.

>>679609853
granted, but you can't let anyone else know

>>679608856
You will be able to use this power within 2 days time limit, or you die instantly as the 2nd day ends.

The ability to mind-control others.

>>679609973

Granted, but everyone knows you like Gore and have pictures of little kids on your computer

>>679610125
Worth it. Fuck iTunes.

>>679610016

Granted, but they have the power to instantly kill you

Become God

>>679610016
But only while they masturbate

I want to blast a girl's face of her shoulders with my sperm !! And then scream "fatality"!!!

>>679610251
eternally lonely

>>679610292
Granted, but no girl ever fucks you

I have the power to make OP deliver and live stream.

>>679610292
Granted, but she accuses you of rape.

>>679610435
Only if op isn't a faggot

>>679610251

Granted, but you are God of mortality and are ever the same as humans, but you can't die from the common cold

>>679610435
He delivers, just never on time.

It's not rape if you let him do it

All of my jokes are funny.

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Ability to get dubs

Op is such a gaylord

>>679610610
But you never remember the punch line

>>679610610
Granted, but you can never tell them right.

>>679610610

Granted, but you tell them in a language no one understands them

>>679610610
Granted, but you'll shit yourself every time you tell one.

The ability to make every girl come.

can kill feminist and SJW with mind.

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I want to birth the beast.

>>679610797
They'll only come to Arby's

>>679610797

Granted, but they never come to the right place.

>>679610797
Inability to get girls in the first place.

>>679610638
Granted, but you'll never get trips, quads, quints etc

Can turn into a woman and back whenever I want

>>679610811
Granted, but you have another random Tumblr gender added to your identity each time.

The power to fuck a 14 year old girl so hard but she won't remember

>>679610934
Only into feminazi land whales

>>679610816

Granted, but it kills you and over is taken with grief , so it kills itself

>>679610934
But your penis remains

Can become a lonely reclusive faggot that no one talks to

>>679610958

Granted, you always video tape it and post it to a Government Watchlist, website

The ability to master and be the greatest in any and all sports I want.

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I can transform into Moonman and back into normal at will. I also inherit his dope nigger killer rhymes.

>>679611337
You can only play high school girls softball

>>679611269

Granted, but you lowkey give off EMP rounds

>>679611337
Granted, but only in the paraolympics

>>679610958
granted, but the video of it is posted online

>>679611423
Sounds like a win to me

I now know everything

instant teleportation to anywhere of your choosing

I can post without filling out a captcha or buying 4chan Gold.

>>679611655

Granted, but not what you want to know.

>>679611515
>>pharaolympics

>>679611681
Can only teleport to /mlp/

>>679611681

Granted, but you teleport 500 feet upwards.

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I can beat up Chad Thundercock.

>>679611655
but you're in a coma you'll never awake from

>>679611681
But you'll kill everyone you love and get into crippeling depression and get stage 3 cancer and also your penis is chopped off every time you teleport :^)))))))))))))))))

>>679611655
Granted, but you suffer from crippling dementia for the rest of your existence .

Any female I message instantly sends nudes

>>679611883

Granted, but now you become one, that no one wants to be around

>>679611973
But they are poorly cropped

>>679611973
Only a asshole full of shit

>>679611973

> Granted, but the nudes are of their grandpa

>>679611973
But there are too many filters to see anything.

>>679611973
Granted, you can only message Hilary Clinton .

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I can control whoever I want to do whatever I want

I can become the king of /b/.

>>679612156

Granted, but they can do the same

>>679611363
You lose the will to turn back.

>>679612047
>>679612072
>>679612093
>>679612080
>>679612133
God damnit

>>679612163
/b/ gets removed

>>679608974
Except your dick

magical powers of seduction

>>679612163

Granted, but you can't get on the internet and everyone forgets

>>679612401
Can only seduce handicapped niggers

>>679612156
Granted, but you'll kill yourself in a bunker in 1945

>>679612401

Granted, but only to baby roaches

>>679612401
You stay a wizard

>>679612376
Floating penis of destruction

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Abiliy to turn into nigger

Have the ability to stop looking at trap porn

>>679612376
Taken

>>679612552
You turn into a nigger

>>679612552

Granted, but you are a white nigger

>>679608760
I can gas all the jews by merely looking at them.
I dont think any restrictions are needed on that one.

>>679612552
Cant change back

Ability to WAKE ME UP INSIDE.

>>679612552
Can't turn back

>>679612552
You can't change back

>>679612594

Granted, but now you're a clopper

>>679612648
But you can't wake up

>>679608953
hahahaha

>>679608856
You also have crippling autism

>>679612552
cops become alert

>>679612628

Granted, but when new Jews are born, they become SUPER JEWS. Everything is jewified by 1000%

The ability to put my hand in my pocket and pull out a wad of noted wherever I want.

>>679612852

Granted, but the note is a Love note from your Secret Gay lover.

>>679612852
Granted, you only wear pocketless pants

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Ability to turn into forklift. I always wanted to be forklift

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>>679612621
topkek

>>679612944
Granted, but become inanimate

>>679609506
Granted, but you will become a nigger

>>679612944

Granted, but you feel the pain of being stabbed by metal.

Never have to look at ads again

>>679610016
Granted, but you suffer from autism

>>679612944
only place you can turn is at the dentis

>>679612852
Granted, but your pockets are always overflowing with used heroin needles.

>>679613072

Granted, but you have to buy every website and have 10000% slower internet.

>>679610610
Granted, but all jokes told are cruel, sadist jokes

Teleportation.

can create huge balls of energy with my hand

>>679612944
a very tiny forklift

ability to lucid dream whenever I want

>>679613271
Can only teleport into your local dmv

>>679612156
Granted, but you will relentlessly shit your pants everytime you do so

>>679613332
Granted, you're now an insomniac

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Ability to have gf

>>679613273
Granted, however the energy created is uncontainable and annhiliates your hands.

>>679613072
Granted, they now send representatives to your door.

penny power

>>679609455
But you have to be in a on the polar opposite side of the world within a 5minutes of changing your super power or you lose it, and you can only manifest one power at any time

>>679613420
granted but she was once a man

>>679613420
Not granted.

>>679613271
You have to mentally move every atom in real time.

Travel in time while being able to dodge every /b/tards restriction.

>>679612648
But you can't be saved.

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>>679613549
whoa

>>679613273
Granted, but you have no way of using it. Once created it just falls to the ground and explodes

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>>679613420
granted, but she's slightly uglier than you

>>679613628
Granted for linear forward travel in time at current rate, with no restrictions.

>>679613332
Your dreams are haunted by freddy krueger

>>679613628
As you dodge the restrictions your intended destination changes

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>>679613420
granted, but she leaves as soon as she sees your tiny dick

also check 'em

>>679613420
Granted, but she nags at every imperfection you have

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>>679613866
>check'd
>kek'd
>rekt

now you check 'em

>>679613420
Granted, but she knows she was magically created and isn't happy with it. Also its your fault.

>>679613865
I can dodge the restriction so my destination will remain as intended.

Can recite the entirety of Graham's number

>>679613420
Granted. But she never looks at you or talks to you. But you're happy.

>>679614099
Checked.

>>679614116
But the act of dodging that restriction changes your destination

>>679613628
everything you try to change always has a worse outcome

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>>679614200
>check'd

>>679614247
>>679614320
I dodge these restrictions too

>>679614514
the act of dodging a restriction results in a worse restriction. endless dodging.

The ability of turning on and off (on will) Real life noclip just for myself and phase through any material i want without effort. This can also be working partially for just parts of my body.

>>679614154
backwards

>>679613628
granted, you are currently traveling in time dodging our restrictions

>>679614640
it requires tremendous amounts of concentration, and you develop ADHD

>>679614587
I dodge the restriction which leads my dodging to a worse outcome.

>>679614640
granted, but your clothes won't phase with you

I can jump REALLY high.

Like 7 feet off the ground

some Halo shit

>>679614640
Granted, however you will randomly turn this power on or off at inopportune times

>>679614861
granted, but you suffer from glass bone syndrome

Shape-Shift into anything i want and back again, mind stays the same in any form

>>679614640
its just your penis and its permanently on

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>>679614849
not granted then

dick

>>679614992
have to scream at the top of your lungs to transform

>>679614861
Granted, but you have no legs .

>>679615062
Cool with that

I have the power to make anybody like me

>>679615024
I dodge your rejection.

>>679614992
You have to manually change your atomic structure to do so

>>679614992
Its horribly painful, sometimes long experience.

>>679614878
This would be scary.
Turn off half-way through the wall
>>679614811
I can have therapy
>>679614859
I expected this one, you gotta admit it's still cool

>>679615165
Granted but you hate yourself.

>>679615133
lol, im just pushing off the ground with my arms

>>679614997
Ghost penis from the sgadow world

>>679611118
Even better

>>679614640
Granted, however using it will cause neutrinos and antineutrinos to interact with you.

>>679615379
>ectoplasm

>>679615268
Aww haha nice one

I can go Super Saiyan.

>>679615562
but only during a orgasm

>>679615562
you dont glow and your hair stays the same

I'm sexually irresistible to women.

The ability to kill myself by clapping.

I can look any amount of time into the future

>>679614861
Each jump you take is 20% higher than the previous. It never stops increasing. You can't jump lower.

The power to separate my consciousness from my body and gain control over atoms

>>679615672
only in roller blades

>>679615672
but only landwhales

>>679615693
Each time you look you age 1 year.

>>679615679
you are wearing oven mits

Each time I smile, a puppy dies.

>>679615746
Granted, however you cannot put your consciousness into a new or old form

>>679615693
you are wheelchair bound like Steven hawking

>>679615910
permanent Joker scars

>>679615679
You've got 1hand

End all war in the world.

>>679616020
because the commies won

>>679616020
Granted, but everyone will die.

>>679616020
Granted, however world hunger and disease increase 10x

>>679616020
Have to destroy the planet the war is on

My super power is to grow my dick as big as i want at any moment

>>679616168
Granted, you can only grow it in mile increments

>>679616168
you are always wearing a condom

>>679616168
It turns into a nigger dick past 6 inches

>>679616168
the skin doesn't grow with it.

>>679616168
Your dick can only increase and every time some sees it you have grow it by a inch at least

>>679615280
Granted but you have no arms.

The power to stop time and rape anyone I please

I can set markers in any place I choose which I can travel to at any time

Become Justin Bieber

>>679616422
Your gay and sexually attracted to niggers

My super power is the ability to kill all niggers

>>679616422
you can only stop your own time

>>679616542
You are now a nigger

>>679616484
But only by Foot at normal walking speed

my ability is to warp around killing badguys with my ki energy blasts

>>679616422
everyone is conscious while time is stopped

>>679616484
you travel by walking

>>679614168
That's not a restriction, that's icing on the fucking cake.

>>679616660
you'll never be the strongest but you'll keep trying

My phone battery never dies

>>679616817
You can never remember the pass code

>>679616484
when you travel time lapses at a rate as if you had done the worm the entire way there.

>>679616817
Never have any Signal

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Enjoy

>inb4 mods

>>679616900
I don't have one