power to move any object with my mind

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>>679599437
granted, but every time you use the power it emits lethal radiation

Immortality

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I can travel through time

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I can trigger any SJW at will

The power to make a good thread

>>679599964
Granted but no one replies

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>>679600017

>>679599515
Granted, but your penis gets smaller with each use

>>679599642
Granted, but you become increasingly suicidal

Speedster

>>679599685
Granted, but you forget the previous time period you were in

>>679600538
Granted, but you become Muslim

>>679599778
Granted, but you eventually become a sjw yourself

>>679599437
but only applies to pre-op trans women

The power to make faggots suck my dick at will.

>>679600834
Granted, but they will use just enough teeth to make it uncomfortable

>>679600834
Granted, but you become straight

>>679600834
Grnated but they're all related to you

>>679600988
lol

>>679600545
>>679600626
fucking monsters

>>679600834
They already have that power. They use it as much as they like to already.

Ability to travel through parallel universes

The power to send all niggers to mars.

>>679600400
I accept

>>679601208
Granted, but you're now a nigger

>>679601208
Grnated but we eventually join them for when earth is destroyed

Anything I draw becomes real

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>>679601514
Every line you draw instantly turns into a toothpick

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>>679601128
Lol it's same d00d

The powers of a god

The ability to stop a thread from dieing

>>679601204
Granted, but 1 out of every 10 parallel universes has horse sized spiders that can follow you through the parallel universes.

>>679601204
Granted, but you get raped upon arrival

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>>679599437
I want Magneto's powers.

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>>679601832
>horse sized spiders

i choose being goku

~spanks

>>679601514
but it then tries to fuck you in the ass.

>>679601801
Granted, but you immediately wink out of existence since there's no such thing as a god.

>>679601801
Granted, but only the god of an atheist

>>679601804
Granted, but you die yourself

Power to be invisible

>>679602075
Oh that power is even better, ima change to that

>>679601804
Granted, but that thread immediately is flooded by banana pictures for all eternity

>>679601888
Nice trips
Granted, nothing else. You deserve it with that good roll

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>>679601888
Granted, it only works at Insane Clown Posse concerts.

Ability to take the form of any creature of small object

The ability to fill and empty any object with any material. I.E. fill a gas tank with gas or a wallet with cash etc

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>>679602235
10/10

I drive a 1997 camry and it never dies

>>679602174
Granted, but you have explosive diarrhea 2 times a day

>>679602174
Granted, but your retinas can no longer adsorb light, so you're effectively blind for as long as you're invisible.

>>679600400
>>679600744
>>679600988
>>679601888
>>679602066
>>679602077
The ability to predict that this should have been a get thread.

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>>679599642

But you will look like this and can only speak with a thick Russian accent and a Minnie Mouse voice.

>>679602319
Granted, but your butt is filled with the same thing and amount each time you do it.

>>679602357
it has no wheels

>>679602398
Granted, but you yourself will never check 'em

>>679602379
Fuck you

>>679602319
Granted, but your scrotum immediately gets extremely sore, and the larger the container, the stronger the pain is

>>679599778

But only if you strip naked and sing "I'm a Little Teapot" while shaking your dick the whole time

>>679599437
the ability to choose a better superpower when i don't like the one i have

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>>679602234
Thank you, Sir.

>>679602545
Not granted

I can run really really fast

>>679602545
Granted but every time you switch you lose 10 IQ

>>679602545
Granted, but you now have down syndrome so you choose the most retarded superpowers to have.

>>679602545
Granted, But you can never achieve sexual gratification ever again

>>679602672
granted, but your hands are made of spaghetti

>>679602672
the sanic theme blasts in your fucking ears for as long as you're running

Power to wall hack; go through any material

>>679602364
I already do. Joke's on you

THE ABILITY TO MOVE SUNS

>>679602838
That would probably make me love it more

>>679602672

However, every time you take a step, you feel like 500 needles are in each shoe pointing upward

>>679602672
Granted,but only when masterbateing yourself.

>>679602893
Mein gott

>>679602438
This isnt that bad if I just use the power in small quantities. PLUS if I elect to remove feces from someone then a negative amount of feces would enter me, IE it would be removed, so I wouldnt have to shit. I think i wouldnt mind pulling a few 100$ bills from my ass if it meant it would also be in my wallet
>>679602521
this just seems excessive

>>679602174
Granted, however you can never be visible again and no one can touch or be touched by you or hear you.

>>679602913
Only suns that you can see

>>679602913
GRANTED, BUT YOU CAN'T MOVE STARS

>>679602438
Well. Twice as much of each. I'd take it

>>679602913
Granted, but then the sun moves you

>>679602880
Granted, but you must be running at said material at full speed, and it only works half the time.

>>679602971
Your greed would eventually destroy your butthole

>>679602880
granted, but youre banned from this dimension and sent to another populated by hornets

>>679602880

You got it--but when you emerge on the other side, you always end up in the center of an ISIS camp wearing a T-Shirt that says 'FUCK ALLAH'

>>>679602521
>this just seems excessive
Don't be a pussy anon

>>679603027

Ha, best answer since it s true

>>679602271
Granted, but now you always have nipples. Always. Right on your chest. Pepperoni nipples that smell like burnt ass.

>>679602999
Rekt and checked

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>>679603038

Lightspeed

>>>679602521
>this just seems excessive
Don't be a pussy anon. It is what it is

The ability to best my rivals in online arguments.

The power to manipulate probability

>>679602913
Granted, but you can only use your mass to do so.

>>679602999
Nice trips, is it your power ?

>>679603038
With your hands behind your back. And if you doubt. It will 100% not work lel

>>679599685
Granted but it must be one way only.

>>679601514

But after you draw anything, it can never leave your side and stalks you forever (cumulative).

>>679603364
Granted, but your rivals now all are mentally retarded and pretty much just drool all over the keyboard.

>>679603124
At that point it just go hardcore with the cash and then use some of it on medical expenses. Just hook me up to an epidural or whatever in a hospital bed, use my powers for a shitton of cash and let the docs fix my obliterated rectum

>>679603364
Granted, but then everyone in your family is alerted how gay you were being and come and make fun of you

>>679603397
Granted, But it never works in your favor.

>>679599437
The power to control pennies.

>>679602956
Perfect....

>>679599437
But only works on old or fat people.

>>679603397
Granted, but it probably doesn't work

>>679603342
Granted, but you're subject to the full effects of atmospheric drag.

The ability to shoot fire from my nipples

The ability to summon anyone/anything from alternate dimensions to do your bidding just by imagining it appearing

the power to have sex with anything i see online. Tentacles here i cum

Power to stop time

>>679603364

Sorry, some things are just too impossible to ever be granted, no matter what the conditions.

GAME OVER

Ability to rapid fire skittles out of my ass so you can taste the rainbow

>>679603671
Granted, you cant stop time.

the ability to shit out money

Ability of perfect accuracy

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i choose being blind and deaf

>>679603579
>you're a jew
Not much I could do to make it worse

>>679603579
Granted but you are banned eternally from using any other currency

>>679603397
Granted, but each time you increase the probability of something, the probability of something else decreases, and vice versa. Could be bad, could be good, could be related or happen on the other side of the world.

>>679603364
Granted, but the only arguments you'll ever get into (after receiving this power) will be about topics you truly do not care about.

>>679603364
Granted but they will not recognise your victory because they're ignorant. Wait I have this super power

>>679603649
Granted, but you have no imagination.

>>679603579
Granted, all other currency has the power to control you.

>>679603721
thats not how this works, thats not how any of this works!

>>679603740
Granted, but York m you'll always miss the point

>>679603759
Works for me

>>679603649
granted but you cannot controll your legs

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I want Spidey-powers

>>679603671

How do you know you don't already have that--but when you start it up again, you have no memory of stopping it.

> PS read a book called The Fermata about this very thing, very entertaining

>>679603734
Granted, but it comes out in Nigerian hyperinflation era dollars.

Anything I say is instantly true

>>679603744
Granted, and you have down syndrome

>>679599437
I want to be a decent person

>>679603734
Granted, but it comes in the form of big checks you see on TV

>>679603661
Granted, but you cannot choose what

The ability to gain knowledge and stories from books by just touching the cover

>>679603635
Granted, but everyone will call you jalapeno tits and if you don't do it for longer than five hours you begin to grow granny tits.

>>679603635
Granted but you have to shove fresh crushed jalapenos up your as very time you want to use this power.

I HAVE THE POWER TO RAPE ANY WOMAN I WANT ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD AT ANY GIVEN TIME AND NEVER GET CAUGHT OR SUFFER THE SOCIAL CONSEQUENCES OF IT!

>>679603882
Granted, you're now a spider

>>679603917
Granted, but nobody believes you.

>>679603579
>>679603807
this is deep.

>>679603921
Granted, but everyone else is an asshole and makes fun of you for being a goody-two-shoes

>>679603991

But you are locked in a vault with nothing but Bibles and Korans

>>679603699
Granted but they smell like shit and people within twenty miles are alerted and disgusted.

>>679604010
you are now strictly gay

>>679604010
Granted, but all women have teeth lining their vaginas

>>679603800
That was extremely clever

>>679603661
Granted, but every time you have a 50/50 shot of cumming blood

>>679603991
Granted, but the knowledge you gain is asinine bullshit about rabbit feces.

>>679604010
However, you're gay and can't stand the look or feel of a vagina

>>679603721
Granted but it is only in the from of pennies.

mind control immortality

>>679603916
fuck that nope you would shit for an hour and only get $3

>>679604010
Granted, but you have brain cancer

>>679602174
Only while taking a shit

>>679599437
Granted but works only on women that have a feminine penor

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>>679604072
but what if he says everyone believes him?

>>679603942
nope deal breaker

The ability to take load after load after load after load of nigger cum in my boi pussy and not get pregnant.

>>679604010
Granted but gay men will sniff you out and rape you immediately after.>>679604072

>>679603671
Granted, you cannot start time again.

Power to teleport

>>679604458
Granted, but:
>>679601208
This person's powers to send all niggers to mars also came true

>>679604527
but only from occupied bathroom to occupied bathroom

>>679604335
that would still at least be handy for sneaky poops.

I;ll take it

>>679604527
you can never return to original spot

>>679604527
You can only teleport to the nearest sewer drain

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>>679599437
The ability to refill things

>>679604527
Granted, you can only teleport to Somalia

>>679604527
Granted, but you can't control where you end up.

>>679604627
I'll definitely accept

>>679604527
granted, but only when you think of your parents having sex in the place you want to go

>>679604527
Granted, but you cannot teleport any objects with you, clothes, loot, etc.

>>679604674
granted but youre ded

>>679604674
Still take that
>>679604668
fuck that

Power to fly, especially over oceans

The ability to vote for Trump without feeling guilty.

>>679604718
Accept
>>679604736
still accept

Shapeshifting to a level where I can abuse the shit out of it to hack simulated immortality minus the curse of actual immortality

>>679604649
Read the thread
>>679602319

>>679604790
Granted, but you can only fly at 0.1 km/h

>>679604790
Granted but you can only fly as fast as you can run

>>679604790
Granted but airline regulations apply and your penis is a jet engine.

>>679604790
but you have to stick a plunger up your ass to fly

>>679604836
You can only shift into a nigger

>>679604790
Granted, you can't fly high enough to avoid the waves.

the power to snap my fingers and receive a joint

>>679604527
Granted. But everytime you use it, you start to slowly turn into a jew nigger

>>679604822
Granted, but his hair haunts you for the rest of your life, leaving you institutionalized and insane.

Super Strength

The ability to see anyone with any abnormal ability and add one exception to it.

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The power to get any girl to be my gf

>>679601038
Ahhahjahhahhjs

>>679604947
granted but it's custody papers

>>679604947
Driest shittiest weed ever

Power to Manipulate electronics (hack anything)

>>679604947
Granted, but you can never get a light from anyone or from yourself

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>>679604947
granted, but you have to smoke it with me

>>679604947
Granted, you will now receive an extra joint somewhere on your body (knee, shoulder, wrist, etc) every time you snap your fingers.

>>679605077
Granted, you only own a Nintendo ds

>>679604931
hmm shape-shift-a-nigger

>>679605156
...

>>679605005
granted, but only for half a year

The ability to bring back Snacks

>>679602672
Granted, but you can only run slowly.

>>679605005
Granted, you discover you hate commitment.

>>679605077
Granted but ANYTIME you go near anything electronic you get a large static shock

Ability to shapeshift

>>679605156
kek

>>679605005
You realize you are gay.

>>679604947
Granted, but it adds additional articulation joints to the fingers that you snapped with.

>>679602235

That's pretty good

The ability to have pinpoint accuracy shooting cum into mouths.

The ability to not be a fucking degenerate and not disappoint everyone I care about

>>679605259
Granted, but each time you shapeshift you feel pain so excruciating that you have nightmares for the rest of your life after doing it just once.

>>679604947
Granted, but you don't have hands

>>679604902
But I don't have a penis

The ability to summon moot

>>679605367
granted but its only dudes

>>679605379
Grante, but everyone you care about dies simultaneously

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the power to control the Muslim hordes in europe
>make them all do the macarena at the same time in sync

>>679605379
But everyone else is a degenerate and hates you for being a normie

>>679605471
I'll take it

>>679605459
Not Granted

power to die

I can be shit drunk all day everyday without experiencing health problems down the line

>>679605367
Granted but your cum only tastes like shit and most of the time they will spit it right back on your face

>>679605544
DAMN YOU

>>679605005
Granted, but using it turns them psychotic and completely insane to the tune that they will eat your flesh so that you will be inside them forever. And they will love and crave you always and stalk you everywhere you go and will flip out and bite your dick off in the middle of the night if you upset them even in the slightest.

The ability go survive without sleep

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>>679605544

>>679605459
Granted, but moot is a full on SJW jew who hounds you for being a cis-white-male and follows you around for the rest of your life.

>>679605509
granted, but it must be in your house

the ability to kill Chad, and never be found out

>>679605638
Granted but you're always tired

>>679605537
no you wont they will

>>679605669
So, just like real life?

>>679605558
Granted, but you have to drink the shittiest tasting alcohol you can imagine to do so.

>>679605691
granted, but he lives

Quicksilvers super speed

The power to leave 4chan forever

>>679605691
Granted, no stipulation just fucking kill him shit

>>679605691
Granted, you are chad

The ability to an hero