^bumps are limited

>invisibility to women

>>679555768
>downside: you will feel the burning as if it was happening to you for the whole duration, and you can't put it out

>>679555768
you have to initiate the fire with your own hand and the moment you let go the fire dies

>>679556985
Downside. You get knotted in the ass by a 600lb direwolf whenever the power is activated

>>679557874
unimaginative/10

The power to shape my molecules into any object i need

the ability to truly not give a shit when other people act like retards.

>>679555768
I can save and load my life.

>>679558392
side effect is your whole body becomes that object

>>679558392
> shapes molecules into THC
> body disappears
> huge chunk of resin on the table
>
> nobody there to smoke it

>>679558759
but once in a while you get a corrupted save and you forget all your progress and all the outcome comes out as negative for you

>>679555768
It only works when you're not thinking about cocks

>>679556985
>always invisible to the one you wish would notice you

>>679558392
>only works when you need cock

>>679558622
You're retarded

>>679556820
bullshit figurehead elections

>>679559453
keeeeeeeeeeeek

>>679558759
>Save points occur immediately after a cringe moment.

>>679555768
only works when you're touching it

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>>679559237

Only once in a while??
I can live with that

the ability to know what is happening at all times at the corner of erato and carondelet in new orleans

>>679559965
>Your whole life is a huge cringe

>>679560130
>downside is noone gives a shit

>>679559965
>Save points
Well it is not FF, but I can work with that

>>679558759
to save, you need to wave your dick around in a school yard during recess.

>>679558759
to load from your last save, you have to shit yourself in public...and it only works about half the time

Shapeshifting that would be cool.

>>679560790
I'm too old for that, or....

>>679561251
But you can do it only after sex with 3 black guys

>>679561251
50/50 chance you shape-shift into Dickbutt

The power to make a feminist shut her mouth for as long as I want

>>679562520
But there is a 50% chance to trigger them

Ability to grow any and all parts of my body parts, Apache Chief style

>>679563840
grow an additional penis as well

Can talk all women into having sex with me

>>679564399
but for every woman you will also have to take a man

>>679564009
Im down to clown

The power to make children calm the fuck down by looking at them

>>679564656
But you shit yourself every time this happens.

>>679564399
They all have feminine penis

>>679564399
Only if they are related to you

the power to fix anything

Delete Tumblr

>>679564830
Nothing needs to be fixed

>>679564656
children become ferociously attracted to you

>>679564873
Tumblr merges with 9gag

>>679558759
You can only save after suffering lethal damage

>>679561251
you can only turn into a guinea pig

>>679564873
no raids

>>679564746
I would be fine with it

>>679564830
Your only tools are from the show Handy Manny.

>>679560130
nothing ever happens

>>679559589

Just like real life

the power to cook any food to perfection

>>679565189
in minecraft

>>679561251
you cant choose what to change into

>>679562520
feminists have telepathy

>>679565040

named lemmywinks*

>>679565229
the ability to minecraft

>>679565189

You have to cook it with your cum.

>>679564656
trigger adults when you use it

The ability to make this minecraft fag stop posting

>>679565189
>'perfection' as defined by the world's shittiest professional cook.

The power to create a cool breeze so that my apartment wont be so fucking hot.

>>679565384
3fps

>>679565452
a creeper blows your house up irl

>Immortality

>>679564830

You need to be dressed in a "Bob the Builder" outfit and carry around a toy tool box and wear a diaper.

the power from cole in infamous

>>679565562
as a snake

>>679565502
but only when you are away from home

>>679565562
>Reply
immortality

>>679558759

You have to drink your own cum to load.

>>679565555
kek'd
nice quads btw

>>679565654
but only when you are actually playing cole from infamous

>>679565562
eternal depression

>>679565136
I hear there's a black cat with a little patch of white on his chest though

Ability to get any girl.

never get sand in your stuff when you are at the beach

>>679566090
you became homosexual

the ability to run run as fast as you want without any effort at all

>>679566090
but have to murder them

>>679566227
you only have one leg

>>679566141
you get jellyfish in your stuff instead

>>679566141
get aids instead

>>679566141
always get sand in your stuff when your not at the beach

>>679566227
can't stop running

>>679566141

You instantly slipover on any tiled floor.

>>679566227

You're turtle necking bad diarrhea.

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The power to grow your dick to whatever size you wanted

>>679566227
only in treadmills

calculate any and all maths instantly

>>679561931
Is it 100% if I want to turn into dickbutt?

>>679566489
but you can't have boners

>>679566489
Limited up to 2 inches

>>679566489
everytime you lie it shrinks 2 inches

The ability to fart zyklon b

>>679566489
you only want 1 cm

>>679566489

It grows backwards out your ass almost like a tail.

>>679566489
your anus widens accordingly

>>679566601
become asian

>>679566655
With a big dick why lie?

telekinesis

>>679566687

You can only do it in your bedroom.

Can make cows explode by thinking about it.

>>679566687
nazis harvest your zyklone with a vacuume for the rest of your life

>>679566795
Cam only move grass in the wind

>>679566880
you're a farmer and that's what you do for a living

the ability to never have to wipe your ass after taking a shit

>>679566880
All cows explode simultaneously, but into cow farts which immediately corrode the ozone layer.

>>679566795
telekinesis can only lift the weight of a coin

>>679566880
can't stop thinking about cows exploding

>>679566982
have to run 5 miles every time you pee

>>679566982

Your ass sweats 24/7 literally dripping.

>>679565452
You forever here his autistic voice in your head saying "in Minecraft," whenever it could be added to a sentence that is being spoken by either you or anyone else.

>>679566982
because it comes out your mouth

Power to make people shit themselves on command.

>>679566982
you dont HAVE to wipe your ass. the weakness is you always have a dirty ass

>>679567218
it makes you shit as well

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>>679555768

Able to talk with every/any kind of animal.

>>679567218
you have to clean all the shit afterwards

>>679567218

You shit yourself whenever people look at you.

>>679565562
You still age and decay, but your existence persists, even when your body erodes away entirely.

>>679567218
but only if you catch it with your mouth

>>679567218
Oh shit it's working

>>679567321

You appear severely retarded to everyone else.

>>679567156
you do realize, i only said it the first time. The rest were copy cats

>>679567321
can't talk to people

>>679567321
only if you suck their cock before talking to them

>>679567321
they talk shit about you behind your back leading you to severe depression and ultimately suicide

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>>679567481
>>679567530
>>679567551

ALL FINE BY ME.

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the power to cure aids with sex

>>679564929
>implying it's a downside

>>679567685

but for every person you cure from aids, you get another STD yourself.

>>679567515
>The rest were copy cats
in minecraft

>>679567685
you get aids that can never be cured

>>679567321
They will try to kill you everytime you talk to them

>>679566697
>>679566710
Fucking winners

the power to drive any vehicle with extreme skill

>>679567605
>>679567841

Really original
"LOL BUT YOU DIE"

>>679567218
You become WORLD FAMOUS for this exact power, so everyone alive knows that it's YOU who makes them shit themselves. Eventually... no friends and everyone files for a restraining order against you. You become LEGALLY FORBIDDEN from being with 100 yards of any other living human.

the power to make america great again

>>679567923

Your daily vehicle is a prius with a "Fuck NRA" sticker on the back and "White Power" Nazi stickers. You also live in the middle of compton. >>679567841

>>679567321
They all sound like land-whale feminists and tell you to check your human privilege.

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>>679568198

>>679567923
you crash your car and kill paul walker, you will be forgotten

The ability to create temporary clones of yourself that you order and control.

>>679568277

Every clone you create you lose a year of your life.

>>679567685
Your penis becomes the smallest human penis of all time. No one wants to fuck you.

>>679568277
have to allow the clone to fuck your ass in order for it to disappear

>>679568277
in sims

>>679568277
IM MISTER MEESEEKS

>>679568134
You have to be elected president before using it

>>679568134
You remove the entire Mexican work force and the country collapses

>>679568277

They act like retards and say stupid shit speaking on behalf of you to everyone else.

the power to levitate

>>679567515
How is this relevant? Your anonymous. No one knows (or cares) who exactly is doing it.

>>679567321
>>679567624
>>679567961
>>679568245
You're not a people person are you

>>679568134
no one will elect you

>>679568134
In the process, you start WW3, 99.9999% of humanity is killed. Only feminists and traps remain alive.

>>679568489

You have to have a curtain around you.

>>679568489
You can only do it upside down.

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I can eat whatever I want and never suffer negative health effects.

>>679568713
you lose the will to eat

>>679568713

You have insane case of green frog splatter diarrhea every 30 minutes.

I have the power of Time-Travel.

switch it up a little, im gonna make a weakness and you got to come up with a power to make it seem actually not as bad

you get cancer 2 years after achieving the power and die

>>679568713
everytihng is tasteless

To make babies stop crying on a whim

>>679568845

How far you travel is how much you lose from your total life span.

>>679568845
real-time travel

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I can become George Costanza at will

>>679568550
Well it means people found it funny, even if you didn't. Meaning "the minecraft autist" is no one, and its more of a running gag. I think that's a very different situation, don't you?

>>679568870
The power to resurrect immediately upon death in a safe area.

>>679568870
the power to cure cancer

>>679569044
well played

>>679568959
Makes adults cry in their place

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>>679568919
sounds good to me

>>679568845
You return to what form you were when you go into the past, and where you were at that time, and can't go further back than your conception

>>679569044
each time you resurrect one of your beloved dies

>>679568713
Can only drink semen

>>679569044

Its in the middle of nowhere far away from civilisation.

>>679568845
Once you start going forward or backwards in time, you can't stop, forever moving through time, alone.

the power halt aging

you get three wishes to wish anything into existance

>You have the ability to perform any inflation fetish act on a woman using your mind.
>And by inflation, I mean this: breast, butt, belly, spherical/full body, berry inflation, and giantess growth.

>>679569393
only if you find a genius on a lamp

>>679569393
terms and conditions apply

>>679569393
but you have to decide all 3 wishes in under 5 seconds or you lose them

>>679569038
Fair enough. I also found it funny, but saying "you hear their collective voices" is less funny than just one voice. How about "you hear a mouth breather whisper 'in minecraft' whenever applicable,"?

>>679569385

your balls become more wrinkly and saggy.

>>679568713
in minecraft

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>>679566489
you die

>>679555768
My suprpowrr isbl I havgt not weakness

>>679569502
any inflated body part will burst

>>679569549
sure yeah

>>679568845
you can only travel forward at the same pace as every other human

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>>679569580

>>679569651
and no power beyond mediocrity

The power to have sex with any person you want

>>679569653
You sly mother fucker

The power to grow very long nose hair

>>679569385
You're ageing passes onto nearby things around you when it's halted on you, nearby people and animals age faster, plants grow/rot faster and buildings/metal rust faster

>>679555768
Telepathy.

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I can manipulate all forms of reality.

>>679569828
That person must then hunt you down and kill you

>>679569826

Mediocrity is a weakness ergo no weakness ergo no

>>679569875
nose hair will try to strangle you

>>679569917
Can't stop yourself reading nearby minds

>>679569917
You can only operate your DVD player that's not even blueray

>>679569828
and everyone will have the power to have sex with you against your will

>>679569828

You have AIDS and every STD.

>>679569984
but lose literally all creativity

>>679555768
You'd accidentally set things on fire in your sleep.
>>679556985
That's not a superpower, it's my life.
>>679558392
It would be incredibly painful and there's a good chance that nerve connections would become all fucked up or just die if you change something just one time without extensive knowledge of medical science and biochemistry. Also, never turn into something inorganic or you'll never be able to change it again.
>>679566880
Cows can also make you explode when thinking about grass.
>>679568489
You actually move the earth away from you to levitate, changing its orbit
>>679568845
When you get to a different point in time, you're in the exact same spot you were relative to the entire universe, meaning matter is where it was/will be at that point in time and not necessarily where you will be. If you travel even one day different in the solar cycle, you will be in space. If you travel to a different hour, you might wind up in a mountain or over a valley.
>>679569044
Someone learns of this and spawn camps you. A whole order is created designed to spawn camp you for eternity.

>>679555768
You have absolute control over water, you can multiply it from the smallest drop, you can change it's temperature and density to points that actually go agains't logic itself and you can turn yourself into water in any form, even steam.

>>679555768
All my teleromes regenrate at the same rate of decay

>>679570015
I parry with a sneeze

>>679570255
you become 100% water

>>679558392
Causes an instability in space time that will eventually cause a black hole to form.

>>679570273
but at x50 increased rate

>>679555768
The power to simultaneously know both the position and velocity of an electron with absolute precision.

>>679569875
It's ginger

>>679570370
So it makes him really really fat and dense? I'm pretty sure that's just everyday life for must of the people on 4chan.

the power to possess no need to breathe

>>679570000
nice quads

Wealthiest person in the world.

>>679570494
become the only thing you know

>>679570584
but if you don't, you move at 20% speed

>>679570584
You want to breath

>>679570584
>possess no need to breathe
hurr durr how do i grammar?

>>679570709
unhappiest person in the world

>>679570494
Your brain will be overwhelmed by the trillions of electrons, you have to deal with all the electrons inside your head.
As for my power, the ability to stop time for a limited time like 30 seconds to do whatever. Downside? I see none.

>>679570782
>the power to grammar

>>679570709
everyone in the world are equally rich

>>679566090
>Ability to get any girl.
But your penis becomes really tiny every time you use this ability

>>679570709
All of your money are in 1 cents/pence

>>679570494

Youre deaf and dumb unable to communicate with another human being or animal

>>679570910
can't spell

>>679570348
1. Everything you come in contact with gets wet
2. You practically die when you enter another body of water because then you become a part of that body of water.
>inb4 THAT WOULD MAKE HIM STRONGER
Not only that, but BIGGER, and that's if you don't die. So if you disperse yourself in the ocean, you will cause the end of the world by trying to say hi to your pen pal in Greece
3. You'll evaporate if you go to a very hot region

>>679570840
the power to want to die , no downsides tbh

>>679570600
My super power is real>>679570584

>>679570864

You have to jar your toe into the corner of a desk in order to stop time.

>>679567923
>the power to drive any vehicle with extreme skill
But you have to be black out drunk to activate the power

The power to reply to this thread

You'll get curious and start thinking about random shit being on fire when you look at it

>>679570864
Time stops and so do you, except your perception of time so you are unable to do anything except think about it

>>679565562
>"log song" from Ren and Stimpy stuck in your head for all eternity

>>679555768
You can use shadows of people at your will, if a shadow of something moves the thing will follow, while standing on a shadow you can enter it and you can cast shadows out of light while it's night.

>>679570494
but you change the outcome by measuring it

>>679570494
You become obsessed with knowing about one electron, eventually falling in love with it and attempt to have sex with it. Your microdick knocks it into the nucleus of the atom and you set off a nuclear reaction causing you to know the position and velocity of every electron at once all the time like trillions of voices saying 'minecraft' repeatedly at different rates, languages, inflection, etc.

>>679567923

You're ghetto black and you can only do it on public streets in ghetto areas like Ferguson.

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The ability to not get any feels

>>679566687
>for some reason can't fart around jews

>>679570782
the power to make anyone who criticizes me even the slightest suck my smegma encrusted cock

>>679569984
>I can manipulate all forms of reality.
But you have to be black out drunk for it to work

>>679571397
But you have to get a job

Invisibility in the dark.

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>>679571173
Why did I laugh at this?