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/nzg/ - The New Zealand General!
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 220
Thread images: 88
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/nzg/ - The New Zealand General!
>>
Great thread, good job, how about you tell me where the weed at in Nelson?
>>
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>>679450268
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>>679450447
Show boobs
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Friday
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Why are IDs even gone?
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Cuckland. Want to eat and fap and sleep. Order pending
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>>679450885
WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE BITCH?!
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Do you like my tattoo?
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>>679451106
I said that you, and these Gentleman, are of the niggery variety
>>
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Dunners reporting.

Feels like a Friday night feels edition. Anyone have a good day today?
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>>679450885
>Sea Niggers
>Seaniggers
>Seagers
Maybe another night anon. I'm very tired.
>>
Chch reporting
>>
>>679451266

Gotta give you props for that
>>
>>679451235
Day was fine, but not drinking tonight. So the night is fucking awful beyond measure.
>>
>>679451186
Na i like Dunedin nudes
>>
>>679451186
Does the rest of you sag as much as your arse?
>>
>>679451433
Yeah, post some Maori sluts
>>
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>>679450268
lads
>>
>>679451338
Bloody hell, I'm sorry you have to endure that. Why can't you drink tonight?
>>
>>679451213
U A BITCH ASS NIGGA
>>
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>>679451576
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>>679451576
No no no no

I think your mistaken, YOU are a nigger. A Coon if you will.

I'm white.
>>
>>679451558
Family won't get off my case about it. Can't deal with the constant hassling and moralising, so hopefully they'll shut up for a bit.
>>
>>679451745
Guy?
>>
>>679451541
possibly the worst comedian in the world?
>>
>>679451576
>>679451708

He's probably a queer too fam
>>
>>679451821
Impossible. He's not a woman.
>>
>>679451816
Yep it's me.
>>
>>679451745
Hey, guy. Figured it was you. So is tonight a one-off or what's the deal?
>>
>>679450268
more like cancer thread amiriteeee XD
>>
>>679451869
i concur.
>>
>>679450268
Been away for a bit over a month. What's happened? Any new memes?
>>
>>679451900
Probably for the best man. You seeing a psych?
>>
>>679451906
I don't know, maybe if I'm sober a few days a week that'll be enough for them. It's pretty shit though, feels like the entire day is pointless if you can't have a few drinks at the end.
>>
>>679451937
Are you? Depends how much you AIDS up the place I guess.
>>
>>679452034
You've missed sod all, don't worry.
>>
>>679452068
I saw a psychologist today, they just said they might call me and recommend a counselor or something. Nothing really wrong with me though.
>>
>>679452240
Tbh if you feel like it's pointless not having a drink at the end of the day there's something
>>
>>679452166
is th1s bettr
>>
>>679451821
Kiwi comedians in general are losing their appeal tbh. I used to like Steve Wrigley and I even went to see Rhys Darby live, though I found his opening act more memorable than the man himself. They just seem kinda shit tbh.
>>
>>679452105
Well that sounds like a good goal to aim for, best of luck with hitting your marks.
I kinda know the feel though, I'm of the same mentality with regards to the lung darts.
I guess it's about rewarding yourself sometimes, but being able to regulate it. If you "reward" yourself every night without fail it's no longer a reward.
>>
>>679452370
Aids apple aye
>>
>>679452382
TBH, TBH. TBH TBH, TBH.
>>
>>679452468
Tbh fam forealz 100% tbh fam shits 100% forealz fam tbh
>>
Chick wants to fuck me tonight but I'm very tired and just want to fap and sleep. But if I don't fuck her I know she'll just bitch. What do?
>>
>>679452559
Truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
>>
>>679450268
Amerifag here, gimmie some abbo stories you cunts
>>
>>679452758
fap, nap go see her,
>>
>>679452758
You want to fap but can't be bothered to put in a bit more effort for an actual woman?
>>
>>679452758
just prep her bull you fucking faggot
>>
>>679452758
Just fuck her, treat it like chore you have to do.
>>
>>679452845
Our abbos aren't like auzzie abbos. Also, I'm part local abbo, so watch your fucking mouth m8.
>>
>>679452856
You don't understand. I'm very tired.
>>679452859
I don't even know what this means
>>679452860
This is the most likely outcome. She can be on top.
>>
>>679452845
new zealand fag here, give me indian stories plz
>>
Will suck peen for drugs

I'm qt I swear
>>
>>679453047
Just go to sleep, it's better than a half-assed fuck which will put her off you forever.

you just sleeping and showing you cbf (literally) it'll break her ego in thinking she has all this power over you granted to her by vagina.
>>
American in Dunedin here. Where the weed at?
>>
wellington reporting in, any welly fags here
>>
Sup cunt nuggets, cousin Winnie got chucked out of Parliament, ohhh sad times.
>>
>>679452845
>be Maori
>wake up hung over
>beat wife until she cooks eggs for breakfast
>beat kids while I wait
>eat eggs and drink cheap beer
>throw bottle at wife
>cuzzies come over
>take turns raping wife and 12 kids
>go to win
>threaten everyone
>not dole day but threaten enough to get free money
>cruise over to piss store
>threaten everyone
>break door
"dis our fuckin land!"
>steal everything
>cruise home
>beat wife till she cooks us all a feed
>get pissed, fight everyone and pass out on lawn
>wake up hungover
>repeat
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>>679453515
fuk fam, ain't this the truth

>>679452845
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0rpeR-uYdc&ab_channel=GooseEmporium

I think this movie explains NZ perfectly.
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>>679453515
Churr cuz.
>>
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>>
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>>679452440
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>679453506
No he didn't
>>
>>
>>
>>679453803
/r/ing sexy, sexy LAVs
>>
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>>679453908
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anyone tryna score in palmy?
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>>679453988
>>
>>679454019
If I can pay in bjs
>>
>>679453966
awwwwyissss that's the shit I do like
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>>
>>
are there a lot of blacks in NZ?
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>>679454079
sorry only got rimjob-bags left
>>
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>>679454212
ewww wtf, do I look like a queer
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>>
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>>679454306
pussies
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Akl reporting in!

Proof im not Indian.
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any hamfags want to chill?
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Grey lynn here, did a 10 hour day today, fwark im beat
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>>679454651
No big girls on tonight sorry m8
>>
shit, nearly nine. Dunedin reporting a bit late

>>679451235
shit day man, fucking coworker is getting to me.
>>
>>
>>679454688
fuck thats a cool photo

i love hueys

inb4 airforcefags correcting me.
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>>679454914
You're right, UH-1 Iroquois
>>
>>
>>679454688
>>679454999
Mate, you're on fire. Checked as fuck.
Also:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyDQs0ajxEc
>>
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>>679455077
Holla
>>
>>
>>679454206
There's all blacks. If you mean Africans, no.
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>>679452382
Nz comedians dont make any jokes outside of the realm of
>well for men its like this BUT WOMEN WOAH
>audience starts spilling heineken all over each other
>HAHAHA
>dai henwood makes a self loathing midget joke
>rhys darby stabs somebody and shits his pants while looking like a fucking moron and shilling 2°
>audience loses it
>one guy laughs so hard his spaghetti comes out of his pants
>obese south African comedian woman makes joke about how she wants to put that spaghetti both up her trap and in her face
>spaghetti man laughs harder
>spaghetti starts spinning
>tia radar gets horrific food poisoning and blames it on a mussel fritter he got at a local marae
>spaghetti now at 2000rpm
>man is now hovering over other people
>man screams
>paul henry talks about his wife is a slut who cant make spaghetti
>john key walks on stage fucking paul henrys wife
>whaddaya gonna do bout it daggot jus a bitta banter
>spaghetti man gets violent diarrhoea, explodes
>everybody is evacuated
>mfw
>>
someone go tuck diabeetus in
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>>679455445
Sleep tight, Dia
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>strayans
>>
>>
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>>679455290
>no blacks
so why doesnt everyone live there then?
>>
These threads aren't fun anymore. Just a bunch of guys spamming some helicopters and shit.
>>
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R I T A N O N
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>strayans dumping military photos
>we have a military
>we dont care
>mfw
>>679455735
Because its a 22 hour flight here from anywhere north of the equator mate, literally bottom of the fuggen planet
>>
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>>679455830
No one posting
why waste a good image limit ay?
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>>679455830
What's up then, man? What's happening?
>>679455857
Hey mate! Just in time!
>>
>bringing black to nz
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>>679455976
Hey man! What am I just in time for? Haha.
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>>679455356
My sides
>>
>no reply from date guy
guess its another lonely weekend for me
>>
>>679456070
I'm getting sloshed again, mate!
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>>679456160
See you on tinychat! Hahahaha
>>
>>679455875
yeah there's that and the fact that this country is a fucking toilet. not even the blacks want to live here
>>
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Bump! It's not even ten o'clock, for gods sake!
>>
>>679458065
Everyone's out OTP probably
just us NEEKs left.
>>
Anyone know this Nina /rug/ speak of?
>>
>>679458209
I'm OTP as well, but still here for the shitposting
>>
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Post!
>>
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>>679458657
I said post!
>>
tits
>>
>>679459207
it's over, anon, it's all over.
>>
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>>679458657
Oh Yellowbird
Why are you so perfect
I want you
I Would accept the inevitable death at 140mph due to lift off over steer.
>>
just checking in to see if it's still dry af for weed in auckland
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>>679459457
Toyota MR2s suffered the same rear-end slide issues, my friend rolled his down a hill 'cuz of it.

he still wont admit it's 'cause he isn't as good a driver as he thinks he is, blames it on the loose rock on the side of the road.
which frankly, if you hit that, you're still a bad driver.

but tbh it was his lack of knowledge of the car that caused it.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQC8la3fVlU
>>
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>>679459457
Yellowbird's are your waifu
Also my waifu, but not so much
>>679459776
Snap oversteer is a bitch. Rip in pip.
>>
Shortland street is propagandising thought control who's with me
>>
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omi here again
who keen for a drive to somewhere? I wanna take photos of just landscapes. Easter weekends we went to taupo and mt ruapehu

who keen for the upcoming week? would help if you can drive too and are a photographer :3 its fine otherwise too.

>pic related
>>
>>679460841
dope photo
>>
>>679460841
what's the chance I get raped?
>>
>>679461028
ta

>>679461051
10/10
>>
>>679450447
Pennis and also Dicke and Balls
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>>679460325

Its like all waifu tho, you will never have it.
Feelsbadman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OSMCfPASImQ
>>
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>>679461272
POST!
>>
>>679461051
I was kidding... 0/10

My number - 0221508364
Text me if anything, otherwise see you here tomorrow if I don't get a buddy
>>
>>679462722
>0221508364
omi will rape
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>>679462115
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>>679463235
>>
Where to get weed in tauranga?
>>
>>679463301
Dixon usually has some shit

Ask around
>>
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Dixon? Sorry I'm new to the weed scene
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>>679464009
You don't know Dixon? Ask your mates, they probably know him
>>
>>679464009
Darryl Dixon
>>
I don't have any friends
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>>679462722
Did you ever find his knees?
>>
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Sydney?
>>
>>679464431
I'll be your friend
>>
>>679463861
>>
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I'll help you carry on
>>
>>679464133
Dixon Myas
>>
Any one selling a car for bout 3.5k lower north island?
>>
Stolen cars okay?
>>
Is Ritanon still on?
>>
>>679465284
NO! Don't fuck with another mans car.
It's an unspoken rule.
>>
these threads have really changed over the past year, went from meetups to cam and nudes, to cars and now its full of memes.
>>
>>679465284
Depends what it is mate
>>
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>>679465617
Aaaaaaay!
>>
>>679465885
Dombro reporting in from Melbourne! How's it been man?
>>
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>>679466065
Melbourne! God damn bro you get around! Haha it's been good bro, just chilling and shit, hbu man?
>>
>>679466065
Do you know Temepara? Or Tem?
>>
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>>679466199
Haha yeah I'm doing pretty good man! Finished my exams so just chilling, here for a few days. Been up to much?

>>679466254
??
>>
>>679466535
Steph?
>>
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>>679466590
Nice bro! What made you go to Melbourne you got mates over there or something? I've just been upto the same old, applying for jobs and shit hahaha.
>>
>>679466799
Nah, just here with family man. And good luck with the jobs man!
>>
plans for the weekend?
I plan on playing vidya and drinking beers.
>>
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>>679466930
Thanks brother! How long you there for?
>>
>>679466982
Good plan, mine's much the same. Beers now, vidya later. And V8SC, 'cause it's on this weekend
>>
>>679466618
No
>>
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woopwoop!
>>
>>679467018
Since midnight last night haha. I'm leaving Sunday morning tho
>>
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just moved here from the other side of the fucking world. based in welly. I literally love this place, but fuck my face tobacco is so ridiculously overpriced. I'm trying to quit but it's hard, could kill for a smoke
>>
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>>679467226
Oh sick bro, your first time in Melbourne?
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>>679467389
Yeah haha, been to Brisbane once before tho. You travel much man?
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>>679467282
I moved back from asia a few years ago. quit smoking after I saw the price.
it's brutal.
Welly is a good wee city. I'm moving back in a month or 2. Looking forward to wearing a nice groove in the nearest bars seats
>>
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>>679467522
Nah man i'm too poor, only been to Australia once. I want to go to Japan next year with my mate though! Always wanted to travel (somewhere farther than Aus)
>>
>>679467282
one could argue high tobacco tax is a good thing then lol, forcing you to quit.

Most people buy packs of tobacco + papers + filters and roll themselves, works out cheaper that way than $25 for a pack of 20.
>>
>>679467622
Japan seems like a really cool place! Friendly people too!
>>
>>679467282
Also fuck wellington fuck that wind, fuck that rain, fuck all of that.
>>
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>>679467721
Hell yeah man, that's why i'm trying to get a job, I want a car, and to travel. I want to go to Japan, Italy, France, Germany, Holland, Russia the list goes on hahaha. You been to any other countries? (I'm guessing India, haha)
>>
>>679467837
Yeah haha, India, Malaysia, and Thailand
>>
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>>679467877
Oh sick, where was the best?
>>
What language do you New Zealanders speak? Heard it is Maori.
>>
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< 8 > She cheated on me after a few months together thus I will be leaking all her videos. 2 Videos and a preview. /b/ was always a great place for myself. Enjoy this 1 time leak. https://lstu.fr/4CHAN_LEAK_PRIVATE Link will be removed in a few minutes
>>
>>679467984
English

maori is just a language people learn for egotism and guilty white people do it to act cultured.
>>
>>679467984
maori, samoan, tongan, english and bogan
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>>679468101
So... Is it like Switzerland where they have different national languages spoken?
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>>679467963
Malaysia is pretty shitty tbh, and only some parts of Thailand are good (although I didn't go to any clubs or anything), India is, well, designated shitting streets, so nz would have to be the best haha
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>>679466535
Likes it on the ass
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>>679468233
yeah tho mostly ppl speak english.
only tongans speak tongan, samoans samoan
and like >>679468084 said the only white folks who speak fluent Maori are a bit odd. Personaly I know only a few maori who speak it fluently.
tho the most marginalized language is bogan
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>>679468300
Hahaha nice man, come on tinychat!
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>>679468790
Can't man, I'm on mobile haha
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>>679468911
You can use the app bro!
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>>679468993
Aight give me a minute to download it, can't stay for long tho haha
>>
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>>679469307
Yea more Dunedin nudes
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>>679469307
Technically CP?
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>>679469188
It's cool man, i'm out soon anyway!
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>>679469519
Haha same, pretty jetlagged!
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>>679466982
mhm
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>>679469518
last shower of being 18 means she is already 18 going on 19. so NO
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>>679470240
Ahh of course for some reason I read it as "last shower before being 18"
>>
>>679470470
then you would have been right
Thread replies: 220
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