I wish I was a girl sometimes,

>>679433700
felt up friends girlfriends ass and tits while she was passed out drunk when i was 15

>>679433700
In a society where women and men are equal there is no use for the man

>>679433700
i cant stand these fucking vegan pussy faggots i have for roommates

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>>679433700
I slick to dead isis fighters

>>679434349
Wtf are you talking about. And why do you consider this a secret

>>679434172
You should become one and post lewd pics

I keyed a guy's car tonight for parking over the line. My apartment complex parking lot has tight spaces as it is. I was finally fed up with it tonight after work.

ive helped 3 past gfs suck, fuck and get licked by a friends dog

>>679433700
i never had best friends

I made a fake facebook with my name and pictures and send my nudes to girls I know and pretend that it's a crazy ex gf lol

>>679433700
i've told this in a few threads like this before but i'll tell it again.
i've gone to semi-secluded places like jogging tracks in the woods and try to get raped by dressing slutty. i don't know why but the thought really turns me on

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I once killed a man because I had to.
Feels good getting that off my chest

Heres the story:
>Virgin
>Call up prostiture
>fuck
>no $
>pimp comes
>Beats the shit out of me
>Go buy a rifle
>Wait for this fucker in the movie theater
>TFW pimp was JFK
>TFW prostitute was Marilyn Monroe

>>679434513
Thinking about it, depending on your definition of "equal", there wouldn't really be genders as we think of them.

Think Culture universe.

>>679434682
But you're probably a dude. So just go to a gay bar faggot. Free dick for you.

I dress like a girl, but I have a wee wee

>>679434566
Hey you know pulp fiction? 29:24

ive used my step sisters and step cousins,panties to jerk off multiple times

>>679433700
I really really really like Star Trek The Next Generation

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>>679434649

>>679434816
Go to bed

>>679433700
I like to make throw away snapchat accounts and fap for other guys. I've never been interested in doing anything with a guy but it makes me hard as fuck. I'm straight and have a gf that I fuck all the time. I'm fucked up

>>679433700
>>679433700
I've helped to commit mass genocide.

Tomorrow I'm gonna jump under a train and finally die. Told my parents and friends that I'm going for a vacation and they will never find out lol

>>679434961

Fuck. I just got back from this:

http://www.winspearcentre.com/wins-tickets/eventlist?view=event&layout=eventdetail&controller=event&task=event_detail&eventId=715

Fucking 2 and a half hours of Star TRek Music. I wanted to leave after 1 hour.

>>679435110
just gas yourself you prick - think of those poor pos train riders. /s

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>>679435009

>>679435004
You're not my mum.

>>679435018
in warcraft that is...

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>>679435110

>>679435206
Link doesnt work, asshole. I was expecting Picard doing aomething amazing

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>>679434649
>my sides

I fuck one of my friends mom's while he's at work he has almost caught me a few times
I fucked 2 of my brothers girlfriends while they were dating. They both ratted me out to him
I fucked my aunt when she was drunk on her 37th bday party.
If you would like to hear the full story of either of these I will tell.

>>679433700
I lost my virginity to my half nigger cousin. Still fap to her today.

I love the shit out of my girlfriend, but sometimes I really wish I could fuck someone else.
It's not that it'd be better, just that it'd be different. Though my biggest temptation is my ex.

>>679435575
Mom and aunt story plz

>>679435575
friends mom and aunt

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>>679434974
Lol

>>679434649
TOPKEK

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>>679435483

>>679435575
>>679435698

>greentext

>>679434862
Love that movie. If that's a time stamp, I'm looking it up on netflix now.

>>679435601
Your ex would not be different. You've already been there. If you're gonna fuck around make it worth your time and effort cuz you're probably fucked if you're caught

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>>679435781

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i still think about this one chick from like 2 years ago that i could never get with even though i have a gf now. i saw a pic of her the other day and it reminded me i guess.

>>679435781
Need more

>>679435009
i'm very proud of you
s

>>679435975
Ew

https://youtu.be/dSKNgoiiySs

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I ghost around women's social accounts

It's a waste of time finding out what girls like today...

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>>679435781

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>>679435853

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>>679435975

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I spy her

>>679435910
Great scene. Funny thing is, it was a Chevy Cruze. Same car maker, different car. Weird though haha

>>679436142
they're like babies. their interest shifts with the tides.

I would give my life to wipe every nigger/trace of niggers off the face of the earth

>>679435913
True, true. The issue I guess is besides my gf and her roommate, my ex is the only attractive girl around.

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>>679435781

I'm dating four girls, making plans for the future with all of them, don't know how this is going to end

I enjoy the worst kinds of goreclips you /b/ros post here

>>679436293
And i know her
prepare for the shame!

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I have bad social anxiety. I've been stabbed and shot at but I'm still terrified starting a conversation with a girl on the bus or in class.

I also really miss being in a relationship even though they never work out.

>>679433700
I've had sex with over 40 women in 20 years of being sexual active. The last 30 have been prostitutes at Asian massage parlors over a 2 year span.

>>679436595
>hey girl some anon spies on you
>oh noez

I had sex with my fingerbox.

>>679436684
woah this is me bro

>>679433700
I like to watch girls in yoga pants working out at the gym i use the mirrors

>>679434682
can i rape you sensually and with your father's permission?

I was a virgin til age 21. Then i fucked a fatty. She was basically set up for me. It was a pretty humiliating experience actually, but it was for the best. I had a 8/10 cutie gf within 6 months of breaking that seal

>>679435110
can i have your moneys

When I was in 3rd grade my best friend and I found a vhs of his parents homemade sex clips. At the very end of the video was a very short clip of his dad rubbing his dick on his older (14) sister's lips while she was sleeping. We both fapped to the videos together any time his mom left for the store.

>>679434682
you have a rape fantasy get your boyfriend to roleplay alot of girls are into this

I poisoned my neighbor's cat
cute furry rascal is gone and nobody knows I didz it
kek

>>679437251
why'd you do it though?

>>679434738
kek you got a smile

>>679437176
see >>679434849

>>679436363
go for broke...see if you can't get away with nailing your girlfriends roommate

...if you're not willing to go that route though make a profile on a 'dating website' make it clear you're only interested in sex...fake the info obviously if you really care about your girl but have to fuck around

>>679436856
Man it's so fucking weird I know I won't see these people again and i've never had a bad social experience it makes no god damm since

i jerk off with girls on omegle even though i got a gf

>>679437519
Ive never done that. Are there girls there that are not complete slobs?

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>>679433700
I write shitty motivational messages inside perfectly good books

>>679437410
tbh idk
guess it was loud at nighttime
but that's hardly a reason
I am usually very fond of cats and pets in general and would never hurt any
I also don't hold any grudge against my neighbor
maybe I should see a shrink

>>679435110
Please don't do it :(

>>679436538
I do, it ends badly...if eventually even one finds out about the other 3 a domino effect will more than likely leave you fucked and with no future with any of them

>>679434603
I know them feels m8

>>679434649
Can you tell me, has this worked out at all ever? Have you had any positive results from this?

>>679435698
This is a long read
friends mom story
>We always had a weird connection.
I would dress up for work and she would constantly yell from across the street that >I looked handsome or when I'm gonna rake her out for drinks.
>It was always playful until one day she asked me to help her with her Microsoft Word, she closed a document she was typing and didn't save so she thought she lost it.
>She was gonna shower while I worked on it.
>Recover it and just hang around until she was dressed.
>She came out in a nice black dress, she wasn't fit but not overweight either, she had a nice pair of breasts.
>Well she came out and said let me see, I was still siting at the computer and she sat on my lap.
>Instant hard on, I put my hand on her thigh while she checked file.
>I guess she felt it get hard and she said don't get any funny ideas, Greg will be home soon.
>I laughed and she got up and went to do her make up, she shoots me 20 dollars(she always does no matter how minor the job is)
>Take it and walk back across to go home.
>She tell me on the way out next time come earlier so we have time.
>I laugh about it and she gave me this smile that made me think twice about her comment.
>In the coming days she would see me and say hey you reached me too late and Greg will be home soon, or text me when your comming.
>I didn't think much of it until I got a text from her, she always had my number but never text, just called when she needed something.
>I opened the text and it was a picture of two red dresses asking me which one looks better, they were both almost the same so just said they would both look good on you.
>She messaged me back come over so you can see me try them on.
>I wrote lol and left it, about 5 minutes later she said are you comming.
>I saw the text and looked across the street, she was standing at her door holding the phone.
>I walked out and walked over.
>I said ok I'm here she went back in and came out wearing the shorter of the two.
Cont

>>679437251
I cut up a dried sausage into bite size pieces, stuck thumb tacks into them and scattered then on my front yard where random dogs poop. A week later, i found a dead possum. Not sure if related. Dogs stopped pooping by the way.

im into ugly chicks because they have low self-esteem easy to manipulate and abuse

I jerked off in front of the window for some cheap thrill and I hadn't noticed until after I came that some kid was watching me like the entire time.

>>679437836
I wasn't gonna, but now I am
out of pure spite

>>679437885
Ya I have shown like 5 girls I worked with and others I went to highschool with lol and I act all embarrassed about not being circumsized lol

>>679437636
yeah mostly but i get horny seeing them get turned on usally starts with mouth movement which they cant control

>>679437466
Yeah, there's no way I'd get away with that. Best friends for years.
And I suppose I could go the website route if it comes to it.

>>679435009
You're not straight.

I am OBSESSED with the smell of strangers and their houses. I sometimes stand awkwardly close to strangers just to smell them. Especially clean people. It's nothing sexual at all. You just smell INCREDIBLY interesting. Your houses do too. I'm scared it will get me in trouble some day because last year I snuck into someone's house while they were gone just to smell their house. I didn't do anything too creepy or steal anything, I just smelled the living room carpet and furniture.

>>679437933
creative solution
downside is that it prevents you from walking barefoot on your lawn I guess

Im a 25 year old virgin still living with his parents and more than occasionally I have both suicidal and homicidal thoughts that I day dream of acting on, I know I never will though.

>>679435110

yeah fuck you man im gonna be stuck on the goddam train for an hour while they clean your spilt slime off the tracks

>>679438365
This. Likely bi.

>>679437920
Please continue

>>679433700
I will become the leader of this motherfucking world

>>679438367
you took that way too far, my friend

>>679438167
Winner. Has it earned you more interest?

I rub my scrotum against my brother's pillow while he's away
he thinks I giggle in my sleep

I'm a published photographer. It's easy for me to find up and coming models who want their picture taken by someone with experience and connections. 9/10 times I can talk the girls into getting naked for the camera, and about half of those chicks will have sex with me on camera if I promise them exposure. It's a wonderful system to get laid with hot women with no strings attached. I've fucked about 50 girls after meeting them this way. I rule!

>>679438367
Kek'ed.

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>>679433700
This gets me diamonds.

i have stolen money when i was in high school and got caught

>>679434603
Same here bro

>>679435575
u sound like a great guy, i'm sure everyone loves u.

>>679437920
>I looked her up and down and said that one's good.
>She says it's not to revealing right I said no of course.
>She turned around and bends down to strap one of her high heels on.
>I can make out the shape of her ass, she was wearing a thong so the dress showed it all.
>I got hard, I stood up and said ok I'll see you,
>She stopped me and said wait let help me with my heels.
>She sat on the couch and I bent down to strap on her heel.
>I glance up I was wrong she wasn't wearing any underwear at all.
>She looks down at me and says pervert.
>I apologised but she just smiled.
>I got up and kissed her neck.
>At this point I had no idea what I was doing I just wanted to fuck.
>She layed back on the couch and I kept kissing her neck and making out with her.
I stuck my hand down her dress and started playing with her.
>She pulled down my shorts and grabbed my cock and started stroking it it was an awkward position so we changed I sat on couch she got on her knees and started sucking for a few minutes.
>She stopped I wanted to cum so bad so she got on top.
>She rode me and I held on to my cum as long as I could until i let go.
>I cummed inside her she got back down and sucked again I got up again and kept going we fucked maybe 15 or 20 minutes.
>We kissed and I left.
>We still fuck every time were bored it.

>>679434349
Too bad their not, womans are phisically weaker and don't react good in dangerous situations, they just scream like bitches they are

i have a small dick. im an alpha male while drinking but a complete beta cuck while sober with anxiety. sperged out on a few people when anxiety kicked in. dont even rly have sperg

>>679438367
https://www.youtube.com/v/Gl4f7wK67Uw

>>679438441
go online adult friend finder or something all you need to do is get your dick wet and your suicidal thoughts will go away

>>679438745
inhuman filfth

>>679439101
>sperg behavior
>not a sperg

that's not how it works, faggot

I like teenagers, sexually. Between the ages of 12-15.
But I don't act on it because of society.

i don't believe in love anymore. /b/ pretty much proves it. still miss my ex but i'm already trying to fuck other people to get over the misery of it.

>>679433700
I fall in love with a girl in highschool who i never speak to
Never feel that again for womens, cheat on my gf any time i can.

I accidentally backed my truck over my sister's cat four years ago. She has no idea the cat she has now isn't him.

I found my ex-girlfriends netflix password on my laptop. I've tried it with all of her social media accounts and the only one I have access to is her instagram. I check her twitter and instagram almost daily, and check her instagram DM's weekly. She basically left me because distance (military) and now she studies abroad in australia.

>>679439640

>not accepting the breadth of such a characterization and trying to apply absolutes to an abstract judgement of human character

yeah im the sperg

I have an ass fetish with a submissive role in it
as in I like chicks smothering me with their big butts

never acted on it tho

everyone thinks I'm alpha and that stupid image kinda cockblocks me

better yet, tongueblocks me

when i went to brazil i fucked a 16 year old hooker mmm memories

today I jacked off in my bathroom while smelling my babysitter's shoe - she was in the other room at the time. I was scared as fuck I would get caught. Good times where had. No regrets.

>>679439934
is your sis blind or just plain stupid?

Every day I lock myself away and when nobody is around I do a poo.
I can't live with myself.
I do it every day and I don't know how to stop.
Please help.

>>679440140
did you cum in it

>>679440159
The cat was still pretty young and all black. Wasn't hard to replace.

>>679440166
where exactly do you lock yourself in?

I have my second and third toe connected with skin in both feet

>>679440374
A box room I call 'the toilet'.

>>679433700
I'm a pedo. not a molester or anything. i feel a little relief posting here

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I killed a man in san jose in 1998 and they never found me.

>>679435575
Aunt story?

>>679440538
Are you virped?

I wish I was a girl. Like I reallyyy want to be a girl.

>>679434349
>no use for the man
Sperm you fucking moron

>>679434317
same homie shit happens

>>679440534
I thought you were doing it somewhere you're not supposed to
but you're just a witty faggot, aren't you
>an hero

>>679440661
same bro

>>679440538
Me too.

>>679440782
^ I'll never be accepted into normal circles with this burden I carry with me every day.

>>679440932
Least im not the only one here

>>679439993
agreed

>>679433700
I'm immortal. Died several times. Only everyone in my graduatimg class knows. Alao the cop who shot me, that asshole who was administering the SAT tests, and i think thats it.

>>679433700
I'm 20 and just starting puberty.

I fucked about 3 mom's when I would teach little league softball.
I fucked an Asian mom that wanted her daughter to be a pitcher so bad but she didn't have money for lessons.
She was cute but her body was flat on all sides.
I offered to teach her , I didn't know shit about pitching besides the position and the hand movement.
Taught girl what I knew she was actually pretty good.
Her mom loved how much attention I was giving her daughter she offered to buy me dinner.
We went to a BBQ place ate and had a few drinks talked about her daughter and how she's at home with her dad.
We flirted a bit and then we went behind some warehouses and I bent her over my hood and fucked the crap out of her.
She loved it made sure she stayed after each game to help out away the equipment.
She would show up to practices for other teams and we would fuck in the equipment storage room.

>>679441110
you arent, there was another poster higher up saying the same thing also
also yeah im straight up self loathing and uncomfortable in my own body

>>679433700
I put on my sister's and cousins pants on and smell their shirts so that I can Jack off

>>679440661
I REALLY want you to be a girl anon.

>>679440636
i don't think so, i just try to not do anything illegal. isn't like i had an urge to go fuck a kid anyway.
>>679440968
venting stuff is good

>>679434488
don't we all?

>>679441310
join the club

>>679440140
>My babysitter

>>679441340
Good, don't be. Virpeds are self-haters. Embrace who you are instead.

>>679441277
>uncomfortable in my own body
maybe lose some weight?

>>679441340
Eh, they say that 1 out of every 6 men are pedos. Its not that big of a deal if you don't act on your desires. Its best to keep the fact that you're a pedo to yourself though.

>>679441725
lol yeah - that was not typed out the best... i mean my kid's babysitting.

I really get off on videos of mobs of girls beating and bullying another. Makes me feel terrible, but I want them to continue beating her and hold her down while helping me fuck her.

>>679440367
no - just smelled it as I came - it was sooooo good

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I'm addicted to sponges

>>679441890
source?

I feel nothing when people die. I feel like I should, but it's like I'm incapable.

>>679440499
Funny How nobody gives a shit that im a fkin mutant

>>679442285
I honestly don't know where I heard that before. Its just something that I remember and something that stuck with me because it helped me feel better about my situation. I could try finding it online but its late here and I really should go to sleep.

>>679441734
i kinda hated myself at some point, then i noticed it was stupid
>>679441890
not sure about numbers, and of course i wouldn't be able to say it irl, that's why posting here makes me feel a bit lighter

>>679442330
people are only sad if people they like die.

>>679442330
I see nothing wrong with that

I mean, it's what people do, they die

>>679442129
In what way?

>>679439985
lmao you're right. sorry i'm baked bro

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>>679442129
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jzpvaE_aSs

i cant stop smoking weed. i'm abusing it. it's ruined most of my relationships and friendships because i put it before anything/anybody else. i got myself in shit ton of debts and sometimes i had to steal to pay them off

A few weeks ago my stepdaughter had her 13th birthday and she had some friends sleeping at our house.

We put down some mattress for them in the living room, and i passed near the living room right when they were changing, three 12-13 yo girls in their underwear.

I fapped hard right after that, picturing myself blowing my load on their young tights and tight asses.

>>679433700

> Be 28
> My Aunt 42 (Moms sister)
> Been involved in a relationship with her for 2 years now
> No one knows
> She has 2 school aged kids
> Father not around
> Everyone give me mad props for living with her and being "the man of the house" / father figure for her kids
> I also work for her, she's a CFO of a listed company, I'm a financial analyst
> Dunno WTF to do/feel like I'm just being a placeholder for a part in someone else's life
> Going to leave her once I get my work experience/qualifications done in 9 months

>>679434594
You need a new secret

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>>679442676
why do i suddenly need to sponge?

>>679443025
yeah innit, he's always banging on about the same fucking dog story.

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>>679443028

When I was 11 my 14 year old friend jacked off in front of me. Not really a secret though I tell everybody

really wish i could fuck my cousin. fap to her sometimes

I slept with this slut 3 times and I tell everyone I did once. Lol

>When I was younger maybe age 6 or 7.
>My neighbor would constantly talk about a video tape his father has of a ufo.
>I was scared to shit of ufos at the time so I always ignored it.
>One night rented a few movies and he popped it in.
>It starts with his parents behind an apartment complex bbqing, his uncle was recording, out of no where you hear a screeching sound and he points the camera up.
>This triangle shaped object is hovering above them.
>The ufo stayed still he zoomed in a bit more and then a wobbing (best I could explain it)sound gets heard and the screen turns a red color and after 2 or 3 minutes the camera is sideways on the floor.
>His uncle gets up and you can hear them in the background screaming and saying what the fuck was that.
>In the next coming days they had gotten there house broken into and each time the uncle would record the entrance of the house with the same tape.
>So in this part of the video it shows no damage in the entry but he records the door knob and you can see a scorch mark on the key hole.
>Inside the house the floors and counter tops are covered in a white powder that brushes off and disapears.
>The uncle became paranoid and was considered schizophrenic, he started claiming people would come to his window and just watch him.

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I've abused women online to get nudes
I still contact them sometimes when porn doesn't cut it

>>679433700
Have a fat fetish I'm trying to get rid of

Feel like I'm always wasting people's time, especially in professional environments

Mid 20s and don't have a job, though that's not really a secret

Constantly think of offing myself, that'll eventually not be a secret kek

>>679442527
good luck with your endeavors, anon

>>679440563
That picture made my dick go soft.

I have a huge diaper fetish. I know it's creepy and autistic but looking at cute girls in diapers makes me go diamonds. Needless to say I haven't told anyone.

>>679434855
Pics?

Many years ago: been married two kids for a few years. Had been talking to an ex on FB... innocently at first. This girl broke up with me many years prior for a friend of my brothers, after she fucked him (ugly breakup for me, lessons learned). Girl married said guy. After a few weeks, our conversations get flirty with occasional mild dirty talk. At the time I lived about an hour away from her, but had been visiting my mom in the same town as the girl some Fridays (I get every other Friday off, wifey doesn't work) to help out mom out with various things. Me and girl secretly meet for lunch a couple times. Nothing more. Then one night on FB, the girl mentions (both of us had been drinking) after saying how cute my kids are, that her and her husband have been trying to have kids for a while but with no luck. With alcoholic courage, I point out that me and her husband are both are similar height, completion, and have brown hair/eyes. I could have Friday lunch at her house and knock her up. She says that is probably a bad idea, but she can still make lunch. For the next couple months we tried to impregnate her on their bed or couch about every chance we got. It felt freaking awesome at first. I even took a couple extra days off work. Luckily we never got caught. She lived on a big lot back in a wooded area, and her husband worked at a hopital a half hour away. He would always call or text before heading home. Sure enough, she ended up getting pregnant, and they had a kid. Never sure if the kid is really mine, but I never told anyone in either of our families...

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>>679438367
Kek holy shit dude. Just imagine walking into your house and seeing some random guy sniffing your carpet.

I love to let my best friend fuck my wife

>At the age of 15 I fucked a 28 year old woman.
>She thought I was 18 because I hung around a bunch of older guys.
>She would always grab on to my arm or stick her hand down my shorts and rub my ass.
>One night we went to get food and the guys ditched me with her.
>We sat in her car and she asked what do we do now.
>I've never had sex or didn't know much about it smattering the time so I nervously said let me see them.
She had giant double d tits so I was curious to see them.
>She laughed pulled up her shirt and asked me to disconnect her bra.
>I had no idea how so I had to turn on the car light and look at the strange mechanism that held them together.
>I figured it out and unhooked her bra.
She throws bra to back seat and turn around looks at me and lifts up her shirt.
>These giant melons were amazing, without saying anything I started sucking on them.
>She loved that part it got her so turned on.
>She said let's go back to my house, I said ok and went with her.
>That night I left her a ton of hickeys all over her neck and breasts, I ate her out, and unloaded a ton of seamen, it was my first time for everything.
>I stayed the night with her and the next day we showered together.
>It was that morning that I learned about anal and how to eat a girls ass out.
>She loved it my dick was pretty much useless for the next few days.
But when it was ready we fucked in ever position we could try it was amazing.
>After a few months of dating she finally comes out that she knew my age the whole time.
>My friends had told her and she was into it and asked if we could still be together.
I said fuck yeah and we continued to be together from the begining of my jr high to the end of highschool.
>You guys don't know how awesome it was to be in junior high and have this hot older girl pick you and your school friends up and just make out with you when you get in the car.

i masturbate listening to Brittany Venti's voice through my earphones.

>>679446045
>be 15
>be in jr high

>>679446670
I was held back a year I came to the states from Mexico and started school late so think before you type you basement dweller

>>679434885
I've used every type of clothing of my sister's

>>679446312
that's the most embarising thing posted yet, congrats.

i luv pusi

>>679433700
I'm broke af

>>679446670
15 is average high school freshman age, at least in the US

>>679433700
I love to post my gf and exgfs on 4chan

>>679433700
In grade 9 I found a dead body, took Polaroids, never told anyone. In grade 10 I moved to another province, to a very rough town. To avoid having people fuck with me I paid 3 jocks to say they know a guy knows a guy knows I killed a guy and have pictures to prove it. Showed pics one time at a party on a bet, nobody to this day has fucked with me.

My mom.wants me to find someone to upload her naked picture on YouTube and eBay

I put semen I have frozen in little medical bottles and feed my mother in law and others it in their food and drinks. Im going to video her eating?drinking it next time.