empty gravestone :(

>>679356128
Here lies anon, 1991-2016
"Yes :("

>Nah. I'm going to be busy for a long time.

Works well.

"Right"

En effet

"Please respond"

>>679356364
>/thread

"Hey hey hey, lets just cut to the chase and get to the sucking baby ;)"
2005-2016

>>679356705
kek

"Is your birth control medication on a five year cycle?"
I would find that sentence bizarre in the graveyard.

Kuk me babe

>>679356128
''LOL''

Not with jam

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>>679356705

>>679356128
"are you still dead?"

Probably good for me

>>679356128
Drunk?

"Hey can I get your moms address? "

get milk

K

>>679356764
prove your 11 faggot

"goodnight sexy"
i can deal with that

Nah

"It's true, I have lung cancer"

"Drop off the money and I'll bring it back if i don't use it"

>>679356128
love you too mom

I really enjoyed the ****** and thought you looked very beautiful in your dress!
Here's the number you wanted me to send you *****45***
I'll work at ******** in the evening.
You can try and prank call me :P I'll be prepared haha

Jesus fuck.. this was in november, never got an answer. I'd be remembered as a beta cringelord

Your hsving a what!

"No, sorry"

>what shit are you trying to pull?

Surprisingly would make an OK grave stone.

What?

Well i'm up already I suppose

Buzz!!!

"What was that also Y u no pick up"

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>>679357021

>Yea but that just seems like a lot of work and I'll be honest with you, I don't care enough about it to put forth the effort.

As a lazy fuck

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Relative, yesterday

'okay to be fair... I have seen you two draw in randoms '

Actual female last Friday
'But now I know it's also your bday a little light shines'
-cringe

>>679356128
Why would you do that? I'm hungry and now I'm thinking of cheesy goodness

>>679357231
And a faggot
But not because of the message anon...oh no

>>679357145
LOFL

There's always next weekend :)

>I don't know how to react to that
I'm ok with that

>>679356128
"NOOOOoooooo...ooo..ooo"
Top kek when I went and read my messages

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>Nah a night of fun far outweighs the comforts of sleep. Although in the morning i might not think that

whew lads

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"tezi koito ne sa slushali togava?"

>>679356128
>"They should make a sequel"

>>679357564
Why so?

"If you say yes I'll send a video for you"

That could mean alot of things...

I still like the future though

"Our lord and savior"

Did you rly put rockets into that?

1 sec

>>679356128

"Do you need the same speakers? I contacted Altec Lansing anyway."

>>679356128
"Call me when you can"

"I understand"

Does Lidieth wants to have sex with me?

>>679356128
We should go out for a drink some time

"You should get an eye patch with a googley eye on it that moves when you shake your head"

no I put it up so people stop asking me if we are or not. cause we are we just haven't fully decided on the divorce. Welp :(

"Physics exam is on may 11, that's what the teacher said"

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>>679357351
right, my bad, wasnt exactly that

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Did you freeze love?

I'm ok with this

Which one, I have 4 of them.

"Il ne lechera pas le charbon j'pense..."

>>Right... Hm.

>>679356128
Not that I know of

we were talking about maple story

>>679358167
The last one, dumbass

"Stop calling me at 5 in the morning when I'm home with my wife you stupid cunt. I'll be over tomorrow, she thinks I'm working."

>>679358248
But what if this was the actual message?

>>679356128
"Sorry I left early aha I should have told you"
I'm socially awkward as fuck that I actually type aha and ehe in text messages

>>679356128
Here lies anon, 1995-2016
"Kek"

>>679356128
"ok that works too"

Yup...

>>679358324
Then im arguing with a tombstone nigga

>>679358324
>Since when were under the impressin that you were the bait

>>679357125
not sure if b8

>>679356128
Thanks babe
It is acceptable

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I gotta friend request from her and I don't even know this bitch but my tombstone finna be lit

>>679356128
'Oh, I was expecting something better than that'

Pretty true so far

>>679356128
"Happy Birthday my Little Love" I can live... I mean I can die with that.

>>679356128
"Do you really like that one Danzig tune?"

Perfectly happy with this.

I'm a clean boy

Hell yeah! You said they stepped up their toppings game too right?

> Hey anon can we see tonight ?
Not bad ?

"Ima headbut ya"
Well makes sense on a gravestone i guess?

Alright fine. Will you tell me later?

>>679356128
I didn't wanted this to happen. I didn't want any of this to happen. I'm sorry Melizza.

Here lies Anon, 1994-2016
"Damn! Feel better, if you can grab my shirt that would be great, I can always swing by your place tomorrow to grab it before hand. Thanks again, and feel better!"

"I looked through the jar file and didn't see anything resembling javadocs. let me check again"

>wow

(Y)

>>679358438
"When is dinner ready babe?"
Still waiting an answer :(

"Fucking sandniggers"

"When is dinner ready babe?"
Still waiting an answer :(

"just saw a clip where this bigass alligator ate a smaller alligator" kek

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"Hey"

"and vice versa"
honestly not that bad

>>679358504
kek

>>679359164
no bro you said "Hey." much, much different than "Hey"

>>679359051
Thats sad

>>679356128
ofcourse i feel compassion when the love of my life falls to the floor and has an injury, even if it is a small injury!

I think it's an ok inscription!

I need to be honest. I feel attracted to you and I think it's immoral to try and build a façade of friendship between you and I. I can comprehend that this must be frustrating for you. It's also probably rather peculiar. I asked Monica if you were single not too long ago and she said you were. Therefore, that's my fault. I can comprehend the reasoning behind your thinking if you wish not to speak to me. I'm sorry for any troubles that I may have caused in these past few hours.

>>679359310
holy fuck i hope you're kidding

>peep my retweet

>>679359310
How does it feel to be 15?

>>679359369
No. This seriously happened.

>>679356128
"I just can't live a life because of it"
Anon, 1995-2016, suicide.
I guess i'll be remembered as that guy who everyone fucked with too much.

>>679359477
You raped her?

>>679356128
It's about time for me. Good night. :-* <3

Kk lobby@2p

it was "ok"

>>679356128
"Your head isn't huge enough"
-2016
lik if u cri evertim

"You're welcome "

Well it was a typo to a quick response
"KO" fitting.

"Alright, then"

Here lies Anon
1994 - 20XX
"Not sure."

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Just sent this to 2 chicks

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>>679359650
Here, have fun

>>679359802
2feels4me

>>679359310
Hahaha faggot

"Sos re atrevida"

>>679356128
Here lies anon
1983-2016
I'm sorry honey!!!

>>679356128
Goodnight in my language
>Godnatt <3
Is what i sent

>>679356423
nice one

>>679359925
Le gusta la verga entonces?

>>679359964
Eeey, Swefag! *fistbump*

>steak and brussel sprouts tonight?
>1984-2016
Meh
Could be worse

>>679359310
Alright we need a thread about this guy.

>>679359964
Godnatt? Sounds like you have a pest problem

>>679356128
I really fucking hate me cunt of a wife.

>>679359304
You sound like a bitch, are you a bitch?

>>679359964
ha. faggot

>>679356128
I have to let you go

>>679359964
sov så sött faggot

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>>679356128
im pretty sure i used to fuck that girls mom
she'd come over every once in awhile while her kid was staying at college.
she'd get naked as soon as she came in, put on her favorite song and start fucking me while crying. she said the song reminded her of raising her child, and motherhood. she told me it reminded her of how much she missed her child. it made her and me cum buckets.

this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVI4Knz24CQ

"Oh thats fine"
Coworker

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>>679359689
I wish, it's even more beta

>>679356128
coming?

"Balkan Wars Intensifies"

"That's actually pretty funny".

>>679360107
Pretty sure he is

"My Viagra is sitting on the shelf gathering dust. Are you sure you don't?"

...

>>679360154
Detsamma <3


>>679360063
Ayy lmao

>>679356128
"Et ca c'est ma collection! =D"
trad for you amerifags: "And this is my collection! =D"

LOL thats the best

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Swear to God sent this to my GF an hour ago

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>>679360121
Y-you too!

>>679360219
Who is she? Your sister?

>>679356128

"A taco plus a taco plus a taco is 60
A taco plus 2 burritos is 30
A burrito minus 2 peppers is 3
How much is a taco plus a burrito plus a pepper"

probably the best thing i could have said for an epitaph

>>679356705
This got me - oddly ironic for a headstone too

>>679356128
"Brexit? - Discuss."
1994-2016

"and we had to bring in a box of cheddar jack cheez its so the fat cunt would stfu."

Good night

>>679356128
I'll have a totally blank gravestone.

>>679356128
"Watcha doin"

Be there in 10 yeh?

im not good at photoshop but this is gonna be good regardles

>>679360107
Nah, i'm just way more successful with the ladies because i'm a decent human being, maybe you should try it? It actually works.

Why didn't you tell me you were 12?

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"Can't fuck Dark Souls"

>>679356128

>Du muesch ne halt zeige was gueti musig isch :P

Too bad nobody can read swiss-german

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>>679359310

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"I don't know, would you stop making assumptions and upsetting? It was supposed to be a good day. No complaining or arguing. I make a joke and you automatically blame me for it, then get defensive. Are you going to talk to me or piss me off?"

Grill and I are arguing, I gave the bitch a ride home and she kept quiet.

"Lol this is where the praying comes in."

>>679360828
Yes you can

>>679360957
in soviet russia darksoul doesnt fuck you

you fuck draksoul

>>679356128
":1"

>>679361060
Speaking of, anyone else think this one is too easy?

Lol mines "oh damn"

>>679361060
In soviet russia dark souls 3 is beaten by a 3 years old

Here lies Anon, 1996-2016:
"Oh shit I forgot"

Sounds about right

Ich hab aber noch zartbitter glaub ich

>>679356128
Here lies anon, 1984-2016
"I did not buy butter"


I like it

>>679356128

"So aparently I am overly cleanly over shit that most people never fathom cleaning."

12,000 Chromosomes - 58,000 Chromosomes

>>679356128

"Well not 'clever' clever is condescensing, you're smart."

>>679357640
да са слушали, кур за тях

>>679361497
kys

"Hey Meg do you have a snapchat?"
1998-2016

here lies anon 1969-2420

"one that latches"

We should walk tonight. Is it nice out?

I'm in the Sci-Fi section

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>>679361718

OH YEAH

I have a childish sense of humor, eat my femmy ass faggot.

I loved it babe ;), and I did text you back !

>>679361811
Or " I swear this motherfucker looks like the dude from the cigarette episode of south park"

"10"

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>>679359310

I love this guy.

The psuedointelligence and the way he pretends that he's above her. Everytning about it screams beta

>>679360900
Stand your ground dude. Bitches need to learn to chill.

>>679359964
nämänämänen swefag? trevligt

>>679356128
I love you too.

Where's my lover at?

"you just made my dick hard lol" perfect timing to pass this thread, im on with dying to that

>>679362266
Varje dag haha

>>679356364
same

>>679358167
Autismo

Whoa boobs

"aaww"

And with that, I am fucked. She's not allowed a relationship, we're in love. Said her parents were taking her phone, and she was seen online an hour after sending that. Didn't reply either.

Rip in pip, anon.

>>679361232
what I sat the entire evening trying to beat the pontiffag!? I'd say this is the hardest yet.

>>679362165
She got upset because I said make it stop to her wanting to see some shittier band live, I thought her damn well some good bands
Plus I was joking about it and she said I bully her too much

"Is anal included in your GFE, or will that be extra?"

>>679356128
"Yeah girl"

>>679356128
family-I will be by about 7 you off by then?

girl(2 months ago)-I am tired of your shit. You always try to blame me for everything and quite frankly I am happier with out you.

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Well I mean I guess I found a spot..

Did you miss the part where I was drunk at 2am?

"I thought that was supposed to be the goal of dinner?"

>>679362854
I can so relate anon

See
>>679360900

>>679362709
Well I'm glad it gets easier

Sem ja, pa upam da jo je zani ratal dostavt k je sla itak dons se na to generalko

Probably the most boring thing to have on a tombstone

>>679356128
"i have that effect on the ladies"

>no

Pretty plain gravestone.

"http://www.kerrang.com/42403/guns-n-roses-wembley-show-rumours/"

"I'll be going home alone"
Don't know if it's depressing or uplifting or what

>>679356128

"He's likely so mad."

Kek.

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>>679359310

A few tips.

>Never say I need to be honest
Work on being honest all the time. Tell people they're ugly if they're bothering you, tell them you like them when you meet them and find them attractive.
>Don't use fancy fucking English when you're talking to a girl.
Don't use any big words. Even if she's a smart girl and speaks like that herself, she's just going to think you're retarded.
>ç
>Stop saying "I can comprehend"
Just stop saying it in general. The only time you should use comprehend is when you sarcastically tell someone you can't comprehend how fucking stupid they are.
>Don't talk about people's relationships.
Whether she's single or not, don't fucking bring it up. Just imagine every girl you ever talk to, (Apart from mom, Grandma, cousins and aunts) is single and wants to suck your dick already.
>Never admit fault man, ever..
>Never give them an option to "not speak to me"
Cause they'll fucking take it you shit head.
>Troubles
At least drop the fucking "s" so you don't sound like a complete retard.

Despite your weak efforts, this is still salvageable. Just stop being so fucking weird and try hard.

>>679356128

"I hear you on just surviving."

>>679356128
Here lies anon 1997-2016
"Cat, -44"

"Thanks"
...
I'm totally okay with this

I'm going to sleep. Bye x

>>679363232
Fuck, now I sound like a doucher loser because I put an "s" at the end of efforts. Pretend you read it as effort instead so I don't sound so much like you.

"I guess that's that then", actually pretty good

"Maybe, see that says"

>>679357055
What about his 11 needs proving?
Also
>"Baby, it always is"

>ya
Could be worse

It is too much to not see each other this long

>>679356128
"and I had to learn how to cook since very young because nobody at my household knew how to"

Sorry, wrong button again
(after accidentally calling exgf on Skype)

WTF Chicken again.. Sheeeit

Bye

We need milk

Here lies anon 1997-2016
"Don't guilt trip me either"
Hm.

Upon losing someone you really cared about you start to realize something

But you don't know exactly what it is

You start discussing the goods and the bads of it to yourself

Sometimes there are more good outcomes, sometimes there's more bad.

But in the end you realize they're gone. They don't have anything to do with you anymore and they never will.

Be it a long distance relationship or not, they're gone.

You'll think of the things you never got to do and that'll make you sad but then you realize there will be someone new for you to pick up where you left off

Someone to make you happy and actually want you to stay around

And I think that's a good thing.

"yep, knew she was familiar ffs"

I guess that could be construed as eerie or foretelling.

>>679359310

God this is so cringe.

Send a message on top of that and say

"Actually, you know what? lol.

Scratch all of what I just said. Why the hell am I even wasting my time? There are better fish in the sea."

Watch as she either hates you forever or comes clambering like the little bitch she is.

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>>679363704

"accident"

>>679356460
Lelel
Same

"See you in an hour"

>>679356128
Nice hat

>>679356128
"that is good <3"

>>679363704
how many time haves you "accidentally" called your ex?

just found my hentai folder again after a year! :D you know the one with 700+ images


not even kidding..

"I don't like going out because I always spend all of my money"
>sounds right

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"Looks like you could use some of this"

>Just a sec. Taking shower.

i guess it would be funny if i slipped and broke my neck in the shower

>>679356128
"I'm going to meet my new friend from 4chan brb"

>>679356128
I am moot, wanna fuck

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I'm glad that your vagina was compliant (and that you're ok.)

>>679356128
>[dick pic]

>>679356128
basically my childhood was gr8

>So, you still up for theft tomorrow?

What an awesome thing to be remembered by.

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>>679360421
Co worker

"I'm here."
Anon
1994-2016

Well, it would be accurate at least.

Here lies anon
1995-2016
"see you Friday or Saturday then ;-) I'll bring the booze :-D"

I cal live or in this case die white that.

>>679364463
Man I suck at translating when sleep deprived. What I meant was
>are you still going stealing with us tomorrow?
And yes, it is taken out of context

>>679356128
":)" was the last one

Lmao this is perfect
>When Bae likes you, but yo body ain't 100% efficient and produces waste products

>>679356964
for a stranger america

>Nope
Looks like I died how I lived, being a nay-saying asshole.