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40 year old father olefagman here, just found out my son, 16,
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random

Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 37
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40 year old father olefagman here, just found out my son, 16, frequents b. trips decides how I punish him (Nothing sexual, I'm no phaggot).
>>
b? wtf is b? I know a fucking /b/ but I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
>>
run over son's hard drive with magnets
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>>679277521
make him watch rocky horror picture show while you throw didlos at him in a non-sexual way
>>
>>679277521
make him cut down the river
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>>679277690
Fucking kek
>>
Tell him to get the fuck off an 18+ board, and you actually be a father.
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Make him hit himself for 10 minutes, record and post results.
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>>679277642

hidden keks
>>
>>679277521
best punishment cant keep him in his room so send him outside for an hr
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>>679277521
Force him to wait until he's 18.
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>>679278160
Fuck that's mean as shit!
>>
Make him go on /mlp/
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>>679278410
rolling
>>
>>679277521
lick his tiny fresh tight smooth hairless balls
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>>679278710
None sexually of course.
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>>679278710
The genetics I've given him are pretty much the opposite of that you disgusting cretin
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>>679278513
scary af bluhh he can even have mental dmuj from that
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Make him wear womans clothes than post it
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>>679278861
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send him to his room
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secretly inject heroin in his arm while he's browsing 4chan
he'll think he OD'd on memes
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Make him post his face and we cumtribute.
>>
You're on b how can you punish hi. Your fascist, hypocritical bastard
>>
>>679279171
With more of it
>>
Send him an anonymous email
(with obligatory pic of guy mask)
saying "He Knows."

Or do the same with an actual letter (with appropriately cut out letters) mailed from a block or two away.

Or just show up home from work in a V mask.
and when you sit down to dinner before he can sit say "Take a seat - over there."
>>
>>679277521
Make him drop the soap.
>>
>>679277609
>People acting retarded on purpose for the sake of "muh /b/" keep the newfags out
>>
CIRCUNCISE HIM !!!
>>
>>679277609
Bisexual
>>
>>679277521
Force him to make 100 dank memes
>>
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>>679279681
Cinnamon ROLL
>>
>>679277521
Fuck your wife in front of him and ask him if he want to fuck her too
>>
you probably browsed this site when you were younger than his age faggot, just joke around and make references about /b/ and you might actually be a good dad
>>
Suck his toe
>>
Fuck his mother
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>>679279861
Roll
>>
Fuck the coach
>>
>>679277521
Cut off the internet
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>>679279858
rOlL
>>
Fist him with your shoe in a non sexual way
>>
>>679280108
In front of him
>>
Sexually identify him as apache helicopter for the rest of your left
>>
>>679280480
fuck
life*
>>
>>679279919
4chan wasn't around when I was his age you fucking normy.

>>679279171
Because he's an underage faggot contributing to major problems /b/ is currently facing.
>>
Challeng him to a game of Fap roullette
first one to roll dubs has to eat the others load timestamped and leaves 4chin for good
>>
Fuck his mother in front of him an post it here
>>
Change his name to faggoson
>>
Touch him inappropriately
>>
>>679280890
roll
>>
>>679277609

b is the letter between the slashes you fucktard.
>>
Remove his door
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>>679277521
Have sex with his mother while he's sleeping, once completed instantly without wasting any time (after putting your clothes on) head straight to his room, wake him up and yell directly into his face "I just fucked your mum faggot, how does it feel! stay off of 4chan, love you son."
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Upgrade his pc to win 10
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Make him have a fried egg on his face for 1 hour
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>>679277521
Take his dubs away, then call him a newfag.
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Put porn posters on his wall and when he walks in, you go in about ,15secs after and "catch him owning porn"
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>>679279861
>>679279681
It took me so long to figure out that those weren't the same post number
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>>679277521
Print out 100 different autistic bannana images, and then cover his bedroom walls with them.
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make him chew on a dog bone
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>>679281040
Roll this
>>
>>679281349
Roll
>>
Spit on em
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Change his windows starting sound to porn sound
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>>679277521
Find a thread he's and and post your dick. Take the picture in a way that he would recognize something from your house
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Replace his computer background with this.
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Force him to sleep with a printed out poster from office max of the cancer banana taped to his ceiling above his bed so he has to see it every night.
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Make emv smell his own poop
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make him eat 10 fried eggs
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>>679281544
Beautiful.
>>
>>679281526
That pic isnt big enough>>679281349
Roll
>>
>>679281544
Fuck, off by 11
>>
Did he have a sister?
>>
>>679281519
Yeah take a dickpic with him in the background
>>
>>679281349
Roll this.

Also make sure he's not allowed to take them down.
>>
>>679281580
10? I've heard of 9.. but 10??
>>
>>679281349
Roll this shit
>>
>>679281349
Roll
>>
Made him call himself a Nigger for us
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Remove his roomdoor
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Admit to him that you're a faggot, because OP is always a faggot
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>>679281544
Why not super-glue it?
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Make him eat a whole garlic bread
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>>679281349
Rollerino
CHECK EM
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>>679281801
Even better
Rolling for this.
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Why'd I just get quads
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>>679281889
Fuck

Im such a failure
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>>679281889
Off by one
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>>679281519
>>679281647
Rollin
>>
>>679281889
close
also roll
>>
Cut a big hole in his door
>>
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>>679281617
Print fucking 500 of them if you have to.

If he's not a complete peice of shit, then this will fucking infuriate him.

>Pic related
>HD faggotry
>>
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>>679281889
>>
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>>679279668
newfag detected
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>>679281889
>>
>>679282005
Roll
>>
>>679281889
rerolll
>>
>>679281349
Roll
>>
>>679281647
roll
>>
>>679281801
rollingg
>>
>>679281349
Rolly
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>>679281349
Roll this shit yo.
>>
make him eat 10 fired eggs stacked on top of each other
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>>679281040
Roll
>>
>>679282221
WHY THIS IS THE SECOND TIME I GOT IT ONE OFF
>>
>>679282221
Should have waited a split second more
>>
>>679281349
Rerollin
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>>679277690
roll
>>
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>>679282221
>>
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Do this
>>
make him eat 10 fried eggs stacked on top of each other like pancakes
>>
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>>679282286
Rerererrolll
>>
>>679282442
Reroll
>>
>>679277521
The only appropriate punishment is informing him of how /b/ used to be, and that he will never experience anything other than trap, banana and shitty fap threads.
>>
>>679282442
Fucking doooooooo this OP
>>
>>679281349
Lmao and act as if you found it online and thought it was funny
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>>679281349
Rollerino
>>
>>679281797
Roll
>>
Strip him and post in /hm/
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>>679282542
Roll for this faget>>679282442
>>
>>679282654
Reroll
>>
make himhighfive a poster of Neil Degrassi Tyson for 7 minutes
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>>679282562
Rereroll
>>
>>679282039
Roll for at least 150 prints
>>
block every website from his computer except google and 9gag
(not permanently)
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>>679282719
reroll
>>
>>679282367
>>679282410 guise c'mon rollin for this
>>679282442
>>
>>679282442
Tripsget
>>
>>679282442
Roll
this
RIGHT
NOW
>>
release a single bee into his room as he browses
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>>679277521
I made this post about sending shit to his gf, but if he is on here... ha. As if.
>>
>>679281349
Rollyrino?
>>
>>679282442
Rooolll
>>
>>679282822
Roll
>>
>>679282442
Rolan again
>>
>>679282808
This...
But last post. Ennui
>>
>>679281544
This is the best one so far.
>>
>>679282882
Roll
>>
>>679282442
Reroll!
>>
>>679281349
Roll
>>
being on this castrated vestige of /b/ at age 16 is punishment enough
>>
>confiscate his dank memes
>leave no fedora behind
>>
>>679282442
Kebabroll
>>
>>679282442
Cmon doods this is superior. rerollin!
>>
>>679277521
Delete his 4chan related folder
>>
release a single butterfly into his rom as he browses. The prettyer the better! Put please remember to take it out don't let it die
>>
Hi guys I have done a great job doing my videos and my weather reports for the winter 2015/16 and I got people prepared for winter storms.
>>
condemn him to browse /lgbt/ until he gets trips
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>>679281544
Rolling for this
>>
Throw water at his pc
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Post nudes of his mother
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>>679281349
Roll
>>
>>679282442
rollin
>>
>>679282442
Rerollin and he must open the door. No going over or under
>>
force him to facebank for Hillary
>>
>>679281349
reroll
>>
>>679283194
Roll
>>
>>679277521
Force him to watch TMZ for 5 hours straight.
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>>679278865
on the Internet i always ignore negative comments and rude comments when i do my videos i will never let down at all.
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get your IP banned then blame him
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>>679283256
roll. also kill yourself
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>>679282442
Rolling
>>
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make him write you a 2 page essay about why autistic banana is the best picture in the world
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>>679283367
>>
>>679277521
Replace whatever he have in collection with Big bang theory
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>>679283366
Rerooooolll jenkins
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>>679283187
post bukkake
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>>679282442
Rolling for this
>>
>>679277521

Dye his hair pink and make him do a video of him "confessing" being a brony.
Also, should be shared of Facebook.
>>
Kill his pets, post pics to this thread
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>>679283250
Reroll
>>
>>679282442
Roll
>>
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>>679283413
rerolling
>and post it
>>
>>679282442
rerolling
>>
Does anyone else here hate black people?
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>>679283633
rereroling
>>
>>679282992
No, he probably is an edgelord. He needs to be scared straight somehow... like...

Pretend the cops called. Say there have been big attacks against oil corporations on the Gulf Coast and he is a suspect. Act completely shocked and confused, "they mentioned something called /b/ but that doesn't sound real. They are looking for people associated with it and are reaching out to all people connected with the site through insecure means."

Hire friend or male stripper to show as cop. Question kid. Really unfair questions. Pointed questions. Essentially tell the kid that he was implicated by some people involved by name. Et cetera et cetera.

Then have the "charges" get dropped later that weekend after having pulled the internet out of "fear."

Kid gets freaked.
>>
>>679282442
Roll
>>
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do a meme photoshoot with a professional photographer where he reenacts popular internet maymays and post them all to facebook
>>
>>679283508
>>679283587
>>679283496
>>679283446
>>679283413
Everyone roll for this>>679282442
Also rerollin
>>
>>679282442
Rollerino
>>
>>679283744
roll
>>
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>>679282442
Rollinator
>>
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>>679281349

Like this?
>>
>>679283680
WUT. ROLLIN.
>>
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>>679283642
I do.

Check these trips.

Get goofy costume. Do pic related.
>>
>>679277521
Give away his door
>>
>>679282442
Rhollerino
>>
>>679282442
roll
>>
>>679283744
checkem faggots
>>
>>679282442
Roll roll roll your boat gently blabla
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>>679283855
Pls.
>>
>>679283855
reroll.
>>
>>679284019
roll what
>>
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>>679282442
rolling for /b/
>>
>>679284019
Roll
>>
>>679281349
roll
>>
>>679282442
Rollerino gaglerino
>>
>>679282442
OP here (nope) I am considering just doing this because it's the best.
>>
>>679282442
reloy
>>
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do his homework for two weeks
>>
>>679284119
nice
>>
>>679284119
With pics?
>>
>>679284080
Rollroll
>>
>>679284182
dice
>>
>>679283874

IT'S GOOFY TIME!
>>
>>679284182
rollin
>>
>>679283680
ROLLLLLL
>>
>>679283874

Kek. This.
>>
>>679284119
not op
>>
>>679283901
roll
>>
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Make him wear some shit like this and post with t/stamp
>>
make him eat 12 friend eggs stacked on top of each other like a burger
>>
>>679284444

KEK WASTED.
>>
>>679284334
Welcome to the club
>>
>>679282442
Rolling
>>
>>679284444
ALMOST WINRAR
>>
>>679284444
WINRAR DO THE DOOR OP
>>
>>679284444
It's funny because I'm OP and I got this. Btw it wasn't a roll and it wasn't trips <3
>>
>>679283874

Duckroll.
>>
spend his college fund on socks and give them to him for christmas this year
>>
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>>679284444
>>
>>679284500
Technically a reroll so its a win
>>
>>679284527
Roll
>>
>>679277521
i think it's a lot more alarming that a 40 year old frequents /b/ . i mean that just screams loser. dont you have better shit to do?
>>
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>>679284513
I hate this fucking club
>>
>>679283874

Goofy power!
>>
>>679284677
Rereroll
>>
>>679284683
like how he should send a picture of his poop to his son for a month straight?
>>
Well you aren't OP, and I'm certainly not a 40 year old man who uses hearts you fucking queer. But he's right it wasn't trips.
>>
>>679284730
Rererereroll
>>
>>679280718
you sir are a real /b/ro ! btw :throw cucumbers to his face while shouting some good old german words.
>>
>>679282442
Rerolllan check my trips m80s
>>
>>679283874

Goofy tiem.
>>
make him eat 12 fried eggs stacked on top of eachot
>>
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>>679284607

Not for Christmas, just when the right time will be to fund his college studies.
>>
>>679284768
kek roll
>>
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>>679282442
>>
>>679284469
can I get a link to Jasmine's house?
>>
>>679284683
He is punishing his kid with the thing he shouldn't be on. We don't know he frequents. He just knows we are sickos that will come up with good cruel yet up usual punishments.
>>
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>>679280445
rolling>>679280480
>>
>>679277521
Tell him he's adopted.
>>
>>679284834
Reroll
>>
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>>679277521

fuck him in the ass faggot.

>you do know you are in fact really a faggot.
>>
>>679283874

Do it faggot.
>>
>>679284683
>Insulting our culture like that

Pardon this fucking summerfag OP, he doesn't understand that you oldies are the backbone of /b/
>>
>>679284883
Rererr
>>
>>679284803
i assume the 16 year old will be 17 this christmas. could be going to college next spring

>>679284817
also, roll. no wasted trips
>>
>>679277521
buy him a ps4
>>
>>679282442
Reroll
>>
>>679282442
Reroll once again get
>>
>>679283874

Last roll.
>>
>>679282442
Roll
>>
>>679283874
this.
Thread replies: 255
Thread images: 37

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