jew for jesus

Palo Mayombe

>>678755913
Esoteric Nazism

Norse.

>>678756219
flashed him, but alas , too late, his hand is already closing the door. rekt

Zoroastrian

Wiccan

>>678755913
Why do you keep posting this thread and keep posting that same picture of the Muslim anime dude?

agnostic.

>>678756503
Faggot

Pastafarian

>>678756587
clever and original

ELCA

No religious affiliation.

Everyone aight except Islam and hare Krishna and Scientology and any other weird ones like jonestown and purple sheet alien suicide cunts

>>678755913
Muslim...... don't kill me

>>678755913
i dont care for religion, all i need is memes

>>678756628
DUDE PUNS LMAO

>>678755913
Christianity - Methodist

>>678756722
Salam aleykum

>>678756044
I cant roast you because Hitler already has

>>678756722
My thoughts exactly

>>678756722
Jewish
>don't kill ME!

>>678756903

My sides... Orbit

moor

>>678756628
You mean faggot, right?

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>>678755913
euphoriclesiastic

Agnostic

>>678756722
Why would we kill you? You'll do it yourself for a bunch of imaginary virgins

used to be mormon

now agnostic

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>>678756903

>>678757361
Did you ever go on door knocking mission?

ablenastaliademigodwonderkinsexualarthoarder
get on my level faggots

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>>678755913
Keylontic Science

>>678756903
hey thats pretty good

Esoteric Nazism with a pinch of Paganism

>>678757361
What's Mormon church/temple like?
Also, are some church leaders still committed to polygamy like I suspect?

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>>678756903

>>678757086
>>678757460
>>678757633
Samefags

>>678757522
Bailed a month before, dodged a bullet there

>>678757285
>hurr durr my religion is not picking
Pussy
[Spoiler]me too[/spoiler]

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Catholic

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>>678757875
>I pluralized samefag

>>678755913
I am spiritual for sure, I am still figuring out exactly how so. I feel there's not much to say about people like me.

>>678757926
>>>/12thCentury/

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Methodist christian
come at me

Scientology master race reporting in

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>>678757875
Guess again virgin

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>>678756903
Heil. Well done.

>>678758109
You're fucking agnostic

>>678757782
It's actually nice inside, calm atmosphere and usually well kept. But the shit they do there. Can't look at other mormons seriously anymore. You can find hidden cam vids of the rituals. Not really any polygamy, but some still believe heaven is infinite sex with infinite partners for males.

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>>678756790
memes are your faith.

me, i'm a subgenius. a dubious salesman who talks to god and who will save us from the flying saucers, now that's a religion! praise "Bob!" and NAME THE THIRTY

>>678756503
>believing in magic
Are you a fucking wizard you fucking camel? Go burn some candles and write in yoyr jounal about your effect on others' auras you faggot.

[Spoiler]its actually a pretty decen set of values keep it up[/spoiler]

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>>678757558
>Keylontic Science


MFW i google it and it's a thing

why should i waste my time praying to some stupid ass god when i could be busy shitposting on this website

>>678758577
>[Spoiler]its actually a pretty decen set of values keep it up[/spoiler]
Kill yourself

>>678756722
>praying √25 times a day
On top of all the cock you must suck i bet your knees are pretty torn up
[Spoiler]i bet its hard having to deal with intolerant people.[/spoiler]

Serbianism
I believe that Serbs are the master race and Vojislav Šešelj is part god part Serb.

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>>678758733
because if you pray for something and you don't get it, it's because you've offended.. whoever you're praying to.

if you pray for something and you DO get it, then god must be real.

monkey logic

>>678758577
>its actually a pretty decen set of values keep it up
It is, but a lot of people don't know that because they're distracted by the mystical side, as well those adherents who just make it about hippie stuff.

>>678758657
Personally, it's the only "religion" that makes sense to me.

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Pentecostal Christian.

>>678758778
[Spoiler]missing the joke[\spoiler]

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I guess you could say I'm agnostic?

I believe there is an entity.... I believe none of the 2000-ish year-old religions have it right... I believe a man should be one with the Entity, without the evil witchdoctor in-between... I believe churches are a noble idea, but have become perverted by greed and power... I believe oneness with the Entity is paramount to inner peace...

I believe the Entity to be formless; "God" is NOT a fucking black man or a woman, but is far beyond such rudimentary forms...

I believe the Entity is proactive in everyone's life; should one commit an act they know and feel is "wrong", the Entity will punish them with a bad happening shortly thereafter... Nothing drastic like a severe car accident if the wrongdoing isn't something severe (like, say, murdering an innocent or something crazy like that), but hiccups and moderate-to-severe annoyances in life; the Entity's punishment fits your crime, etc...

I believe the Entity molded you a certain way at birth, and you ought to be true to yourself and to others about who you are...

I believe the Entity punishes entire locales with tragedy should the bulk of the populous be doing something stupid. See also: Katrina (excess, hedonism, voodoo, etc. in NOLA), California droughts and wildfires (the land of fruits and nuts, need I say more?), Hurricane Sandy (Liberal retardation, mass suffering through taxation and driving standard of living for bulk of populous into the ground), Japanese tsunami (overfishing blue-fin tuna, whaling, general rape/subjectivity/otherwise fucked-up culture), etc... In short, GOD IS PISSED!!!

Oh, also, I've found through my meddling that the Entity doesn't like being called "God", either it did before and changed its mind because of religious idiots, or it never did... Sort of like changing its email address to nuke a spammed-out Hotmail account, I'd liken it to...

>cont?

>>678758778
>respect nature
>be kind to others
>be at peace with your environment
>accept consequences
>use your knowledge for good
Don't see anything wrong with that

>>678759444
>>678757888

Trips is my religion

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>>678759172
you should totally check out the church of the subgenius. they pretend it's a joke to keep out the casuals. they don't ask for as much money as the scientologists and one of their principal leaders is an ex-stripper named Rev.Dr. Suzie the Floozie.

also, esoteric as fuck.

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Church of Memetic Magic of Kek.

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Democratic Catholic

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>>678755913
fuckopsmomislm
she'd come over every once in awhile while her kid was staying at college.
she'd get naked as soon as she came in, put on her favorite song and start fucking me while crying. she said the song reminded her of raising her child, and motherhood. she told me it reminded her of how much she missed her child. it made her and me cum buckets.

this was the song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVI4Knz24CQ

Southern Baptist.

Catholic

>>678759696
But what does it cost you in terms of commitment. And saying out loud in front of other people that you're a wiccan.
That's insta-virgin material bruh

>>678759696
>>respect nature
>>be kind to others
>>be at peace with your environment
>>accept consequences
>>use your knowledge for good
>Don't see anything wrong with that


you haven't met many actual Wiccans, have you?

and you've never been confronted by a fundamentalist Alexandrian who sneers at you for being a schismatic and then tries to curse you.

Wiccans are people, and they suffer from the same stupid prejudices, hatreds and biases as any other group. getting naked every fourteen days and dancing in a circle doesn't mean they actually do any of the things you quoted.

>>678758945
I've never dealt with an intolerant person in my life actually

>>678760005
I can handle that whole pic

Except those eyebrows. Come fucking on ew

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any other Pagans here?

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>>678759913
ALL WILL WORSHIP THE FROG GOD

uh i mean

ALL WILL LICK THE FROG GOD

>>678760208
You just kill em for allah i see.
>you dont have to deal with the dead

>>678759988
WUT

>>678760005

I view people whome post tube links, in the same light as those whome comment on xhamster clips.

Like actually who the fuck comments on porn videos?

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>>678760271


ODIN!!

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>>678759988
Such wasted double-dubs....

>>678760103
It's not my fault that people use the religion to act like fools. I shouldn't have to keep anything to myself because of a stereotype I resist. Besides I usually only tell people if I'm asked.
It doesn't cost me anything in a negative sense, if that's what you mean, either. My life or relationships or morals don't suffer because of it.

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American

>>678760436
But if you kill somebody doesn't that mean you death with them?

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>>678760487
>Like actually who the fuck comments on porn videos?

the kind of guy who thinks we all need to know "ima bust a nut on dat fine ass you know i will"

YEAH, BUDDY. MY QUALITY OF LIFE HAS BEEN IMPROVED BY KNOWING DAT. TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR MASTURBATION HABITS, PLEASE>

Buddhist, not edgy enough for Paganism.
Not gross enough for Christianity.

>>678760696
but it is religion's fault when people use it as an excuse to behave in a foolish manner.

any religion that doesn't REPEATEDLY STRESS that KILLING IS WRONG.. is responsible for dickheads who kill in the name of that faith.

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>>678760625
Why cuz I have faith OKAY BUDD...

>>678760181
See >>678760696
One of the great things is that there's no set standard for how to act so guilt by association is pretty much a useless gesture. Those types of Wiccans don't affect my life nor vice versa, aside from when it's disparagingly brought up against me by non-Wiccans.

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>terrorist

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>>678761111
QUADDD

Ignostic

>>678761111
QUADSSS

>>678760779
>roasting yourself
Bhuddists are CUTE!

Agnostic. The ones that don't fucking care.

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>>678755913
i believe in the god emperor of mankind.

>>678760902
This is a debate that's been going on much longer than between us. Every individual who adheres to a faith but doesn't act like its most extreme or unpleasant participants is bound to defend themselves from being lumped in with those people while still keeping their set of beliefs. As I've always seen Wicca as a philosophy for personal enrichment, I submit that it works for me, and that's all that matters.

>>678756722
We don't have to kill you, you're already going to kill yourself and everyone else in a 10 meter radius

>>678761359
>ignostic
Like ignorant right?
Fucking idiot...

>>678761627
Agnostic:

A: Homosexuals
G: Among
N: Us
O:
S:
T:
I:
C:

Personally, I believe that if there is a higher being, they don't want you to prove your devotion by worship, but by doing right by your fellow man and making the world a better place.
Grill me I guess

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>>678760902
But therein lies the problem; sometimes, killing is necessary, be it animals for sustenance (we ARE omnivorous beasts, after all), or other people for defense of yourself or others...

The world isn't as black-and-white as most people think it is; there's always a little bit of a grey area snuck in there....

>pic unrelated

>>678755913
buddhist

i don't believe religion exists

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>>678761111
being proud of being a wiccan doesn't just mean basking in the glory of the doings of the good ones. it means accepting partial responsibility for the drug-taking goat-fuckers as well.

those types of wiccans affect your life when you tell someone "i'm a wiccan", and they ask "oh, you're a goat-fucker? tell me more."

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>>678755913
Church of the Broken God for life

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>>678762237
This.

Just ignoring a problem does not make it go away...

>>678762237
Oh I understand that
But usually the response is less goat-fucker and more satan-worshiper

>>678762050
you should read the bhagavad ghita. the general of one army is at war and talks to god about whether its right to do so. god says go war... fucking why?
certainly not cause jihad

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>>678761984
who can tell what higher beings want?

maybe they want us to murder each other in brutally entertaining ways. we can't tell, because they never reply when you pray to them.

unless you have frontal lobe brain damage. then you hear all kinds of weird shit that has the undeniable ring of godly truth.

pic unrelated

>>678761984
The phrase "higher being" is so primitive.
It's just our hatred for independent thinking yearning for a leash.
The very word, designer, is just a way for us to assign a well-ordered Universe a human characteristic

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PSA: White Women belong to us Indian Alphas. There is nothing you can do to stop us, Rednecks. DEAL WITH IT!

Heathen, as in worships the Nordic gods.

>>678762050
>or other people for defense of yourself or others...


or for being schismatics. or for praying to the wrong gods. or for misinterpreting the writings of Gerald Gardner. or for fucking children. or for not fucking children.

religion is an excuse. even wicca. don't pretend it's something noble.

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>>678762207


"I's don'ts believes in religions."

"Dude, what about the bible?"

"Wells thens, maybes i rexamine my beliefs."

>>678762986
Heill Óðinn

>>678760696
You're right with stereotypes, I can smell patchouli rinsed dreadlocks through the nbn.

Question ; do you wear multiple steel /silver adornments/jewellery?

>>678763288
Jehovah > gay zeus

>>678760503
hominids and apes shared a common ancestor, they didn't branch off from the apes, other than that... HAIL ODIN AND THOR!!!

>>678761627
Or the ones that live in constant fear of the void of death, but can't find faith

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>>678763045
Defense of one's life is NOT the same as murder in the name of...

Stop blaming religion for violence; violent sociopathy is far deeper than what one chooses to pray to.

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>>678762283
SITHRAK THE BLIND GIBBERER

>>678762802
it's our desire for adult supervision.

it's why we want advanced aliens to show up and tell ALL THOSE OTHER ASSHOLES TO STOP BEING ASSHOLES.

>>678756044
>subtle Postal² joke

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>>678756628
I'm with this guy

>>678762945
>Indian Alphas.

> Indian
> alphas
>
> can't eat cows
> lay down in front of the British when they demanded you pay tax on salt
> make their living doing telephone support for windows
> stone women to death if they look at another man

holy fuck, dude, India is Beta Central.

>>678763367
I have a pentagram but I don't often wear it out.

>>678760731
You're right m8, thanks for the insight

"O descendant of Bharata [Arjuna] he who dwells in the body can never be slain. Therefore you need not grieve for any living being. Considering your specific duty as a ksatriya [warrior class], you should know that there is no better engagement for you than fighting on religious principles; and so there is no need for hesitation. O Partha, happy are the ksatriyas to whom such fighting opportunities come unsought, opening for them the doors of the heavenly planets. If, however, you do not perform your religious duty of fighting, then you will certainly incur sins for neglecting your duties and thus lose your reputation as a fighter. People will always speak of your infamy, and for a respectable person, dishonor is worse than death. The great generals who have highly esteemed you name and fame will think that you have left the battlefield out of fear only, and thus they will consider you insignificant. Your enemies will describe you in many unkind words and scorn your ability. What could be more painful for you? O sun of Kunti [Arjuna], either you will be killed on the battlefield and attain the heavenly planets, or you will conquer and enjoy the earthly kingdom. Therefore, get up with determination and fight." Bhagavad-Gita As It Is 2.30-37 p.114-121.
in other words "jihad"
keeping in mind the crusades, and personaly i feel america is also doing the same thing.

>>678763450
don't tell me, tell Tim Kreider

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>>678755913
Lutheran

N/A

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>>678761740
how inspired

>>678764260
geeeey
Deez Nuts HA! Goteem

>>678755913
my religions is atheism

>>678763928
Does the pentagram represent the devil in wiccan clubs?

>>678755913
Solopsistic nihilism, bitchez

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>>678764485
Uh....no?
>pic related

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>>678764260
Edgelord here

>>678763980
I'll never read that wall of text. How does that make you feel?

>>678762945
Designated

>>678764577
Icon understand the worship of based elements, wtf is spirit? Sounds like yank cheerleader shit

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Death
Also should I call myself a "Lich"?
it's the closest thing I can find next to necromancer

>>678755913
Agnostic
You can't definitively prove there is a god and you can't definitively prove there isn't so I guess I'll just have to wait and see. I lean towards there not being a god though.

>>678764608
It just means Atheist. But Atheist isn't a religion, so I put N/A.

It is in fact impossible for anyone posting on /b/ to identify with any dogma, or to proclaim oneself as a devout follower of Islam, Christianity, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, or Scientology

>>678764633
i get its long but really the people who cant read a paragraph of text when it comes to intellectual thought or theological debate just makes me sad

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Ex-Muslim Atheist here. I may not subscribe to any religion but I find them all terribly interesting. There is a grain of truth to be had in nearly every belief system. I follow the Jeet Kun Do of religion if you want to put it that way.

"Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless and add what is specifically yourself." ~ Bruce Lee

>>678764854
It represents the interconnectivity of spirit and nature. The tangible and the intangible.

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Discordian.

You literally are not able to roast me. Maybe.

>>678764895
Same, the possibility of the endless void of death scares me, so i lean towards a God existing.

>>678765052
>paragraphs
It's a cluster fuck of text.

None.

>>678756550
Agnostic isnt a religious stance you degenerate fuckboy poser.

You're either an Agnostic-Atheist(aka an Atheist): who believes there is no god but is open to evidence and will admit "I don't know" like any non-militant Atheist.

>or

Agnostic-Theist: believe there it is more than likely there is a god but don't follow any formal religion.

>>678764952
This

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>>678765211

>>678762237
>wiccan
>goat fucker
since when?
are you sure you don't mean muslim?

>>678764952
You'd be surprised

Agnostic

>>678765206
i dont even know what to say to you... my argument is wrong cause my book quotes were too long for you?

>>678765101
What's the intangible stuff?

>>678765307
>>678764608
But hurt christian who cant possibly accept the idea that everyone doesnt think like him

>>678765338
Goats are sort of our sacred animal (not to mention the fact that the Horned God has the head of a goat).
But I don't fuck goats, and to the best of my knowledge most others don't either.

>>678765639
Spirituality, magic, etc.

>>678765635

>argument

I didn't read your diatribe cunt

>>678765187
It's scary but I don't think it's wrong. Also, why is not existing scary in the first place? None of it really matters once you stop existing so there's nothing to be afraid of really. That being said I'm not about to go kill myself but y'know.

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I do not care. It doesn't matter to me which, if any, god or gods are real. I will love life how I see fit, and if any celestial being exists that decided my life was worth some reward or some punishment, so be it. I won't live for anyone but myself, and those that I choose.
Personally, I'd like to believe that there is a progenitor, a great being that spreads the seeds of not only our carbon-based life, but any and all forms of life that could exist in our reality, not out of any purpose or plan, but just because that is a function of it existing.
Attempting to force every bit of life and the universe to fit into a human's worldview is a fool's errand, and trying to force others to do what you want based on a book you believe not because it's factual, but because it itself tells you you must believe it on faith, is very dangerously misguided. You are not correct, they are not correct, and fighting will solve nothing, it will literally only create more conflict. Just live your life, and let others live their own. Honestly, if I was made to choose a religion to follow, I'd follow the tenants of Satanism, as they boil down to "live your own life at your own expense, and let the other retards of the world do the same, UNLESS they decide to fuck with you, then destroy them completely" and that's how I already live my life, so it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to just slap a name on it. But I don't care about hating humanity or feeling resentment towards the Christian God, so Satanism isn't the best call for me. So I'll stick with not caring, and sending out thanks to any God or force I feel like thanking, and calling out to any being that feels like listening when I need help (knowing full well it's just a useless gesture and expecting no real results).

>>678765213
I guess agnostic-tgeist, i was not aware there were different kinds

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>>678765646
Actually, I'm
>>678765185

Go ahead, roast me. You can't.

I don't know what to call it. I don't believe in any of the religions that exist in the world, but I think that some sort of being made the Big Bang.

>>678765776
>magic

It would be sick irl, but it's just not dude

>>678766027
ur gay lol xd

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Pastafarian

agnostic pagan "witch"

Agnostic Spiritualism I guess? I don't really follow any specific religion, but its fun to think about ghosts and mythology and stuff.

>>678765833
I just can't imagine it, i won't experience anything, which sxares me a lot, i'm gonna stop talking about it before i fall into one of my exisitential holes

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ITT fucking hipsters

>>678765829
i wasnt criticizing as much as i was trying to say islam and christians are the fucking same.

>>678764895
Ignostic
The concept of "whether god exists" is a valid English sentence
But has no useful or fundamental meaning
The language of religion is so ill-defined and vague that it is impossible to argue for or against God as a non-personal, deistic thing

Notice the difference between arguing for the existence of Jehovah:

>There is a sky-man who sent us his son to die on the cross
>This statement is either true or it isn't

>There is a higher entity or an intelligent force that manifests itself throughout the universe by means of some obscure energy
>This statement is perfect English proposition, but lacks any sort of meaning that can be approached rigorously

The word "entity" is a favorite for lazy thinkers

>>678766200
You mean wickin?

>>678766353
Tell me how the structure of the sentence matters

>>678755913
The idea that there is one or twenty creator-gods knowable & comprehendable by humans is so absurd it's meaningless. If there were such entities capable of having performed such a feat as the moment if creation intentionally, while residing beyond it completely and leaving no discernible trace of itself or actions within this universe, they would be indistinguishable from figments of our wildest imaginations, and any human who claims to know those beings and their unfathomably complex thoughts and interests, and claims they can make sense if them and lol their interests mirror our own local, culturally relevant trends, would be nearly infinitely more likely to be a lunatic it charlatan.

I'm not ruling out the possibility there are or were gods, but claims of sharing their wisdom are ridiculously overrated and improbable.

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>>678766296
Fuck. Well that wasn't hard.
Reddit tier autism regarding your tl;Dr post.

Yeah, Abrahamic cults are all linked.

>>678765939
Tl;dr

>>678766410
You can actually be a witch and pagan, paganism (obviously) came before wicca and wicca is based off paganism (and abit of other beliefs).

Someone please define "spirit" or "force" in the context or religion in 20 words or less without using loaded words like: designer, entity, compelling, energy

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looks like nobody can stump me.

>>678766955
Omniscient, omnipotent, patriarchal figure beyond our realm of understanding.

>>678766955
>based question
Checked

>>678766640
hinduism isnt abrahamic. you would know this if you read my original post comparing krshna to jesus and allah

>>678767113
>>678766275
>>678766027
>>678765185
You're right. You just won one argument on the internet.

>>678766955
Use a dictionary.

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>>678767234
You seem butthurt.
You need more slack.

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>>678756543

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First time actually posting in one of these threads. Fucking idiot, eh? Anyway, I don't blame people who have an emotional need to believe in something. Culture can do that to you and not everyone is a counter culture edgefag. Some people having faith in a higher power also helps emotionally and socially. That being said, I admire Buddhism and it's respect of nature, but I don't believe in any deity. So atheist?

>>678767113

Praise BOB.

>Laveyan Satanist

>>678767392
tl;dr

>>678766628
Seems a tall order for a species that still thinks, behaves, and lives only slightly better that its more primitive genetic cousins, the chimps, who are both highly social and build structured societies and yet will just maul one another to death for the exact same reasons humans do.

No God would create a species that behaves like this and declare it the grand purpose of the entire universe. This is a savage, brutal species if agressive competitive selfish ignoramuses.

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>>678767426
Indeed.

>>678766609
It doesn't at all. The point is that these words are not concrete.
What is something that is beyond the physical realm (loaded word) even supposed to have as a quality?
Even a word like freedom, a word that can mean something slightly different for everyone,
can have enough real world examples of its existence and absence that we can approximate a useful meaning for it. What example of something beyond the physical realm can you provide an example of?

>>678767392
buddhism only uses deities and idol worship to reflect your own mind.
buddha isnt god, hes just a representation and reflection of your own potential to become enlightened

>>678767154
Kek

>>678755913
Mahayana Buddhist
Im yellow nigga by the way

Celestia/Luna

unlike the rest of you unlucky shits I actually have the possibility of making sweet, sweet love to my gods.

>>678767818
>buddha isnt god
Westernized buddhist detected. In the context of buddhism, Buddha is very much god.

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What do you folks think of pentecostal christianity?