>>677891035
Anyone else obsessed with fire as a kid? Would always light shit on fie and ended up burning holes in a bunch of my clothes.

>>677891035
I once thought Feminism was about equality. Then I started reading books and learning to think before I feel.

>>677891117
Worst was when i lit a pen on fire and burning ink and plastic dripped onto me shit hurt like fucking hell.

>>677891035
I thought pee was stored in my balls so when I was in a hurry I would squeeze them thinking it made me piss faster.

I used to lay blankets on my stairs and then try to slide down them. It kinda worked but my ass suffered because of it.

>>677891117
This would play with fire all the time.

i thought babies were made through kissing, and that they had to be cut out of the womb

>>677891548
I did this...
I also used to call my balls a pee sack

>>677891599
Gave myself a concussion when i was 10 doing something similar don't fuck with stairs.

>inb4 religion

>>677891117
I used to light up my knockoff toys from the head, just the head, no idea why. That and I used to be crazy obsessed with tits, I would draw them on walls, paper, the school board when no one was watching etc.

>>677891035
Used toby grow shit at cars then run away when one of them stopped.

Would tape firecrackers to roaches and blow the fuckers up. I'd use the ones on a stick and m-80's. Shit was great. I'd fill a jar with any bugs I could catch and stick a string of m-80's in, light em and watch the show. If I could have caught a squirrel without getting bit the motherfucker woulda gone in the jar too.
>Why did people keep buying me fireworks?
>was maybe ten at the time

>>677891548
Wow you were a fucking dumb kid

>>677892037
Loved melting shit would have mock wars with the green plastic army men and shoot them with a bb gun and burn them they would lose limbs and shit was brutal.

I was convinced that if I didn't nail penis inspection day my uncle was going to make me stop going to school. Like getting lice or something.

I thought my mom would live forever.

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>>677892215
thank you for your service

>>677892215
Used to capture bugs and drown them with a tea diffuser basically isis level shit with bugs.

>>677892215
>>677892215
Should've dressed those roaches as terrorists and yelled "Allahu Ackbar".

being gay is ok

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I'd get naked and run over to neighbours yard, where they had this decorative ceramic deer.

I'd jump on and let my balls slap on the cool, smooth surface. Felt great, man.

One day while riding stag, the neighbours returned, and their car started up the driveway.
I bolted back over our fence, almost catching my sack on the pointed wooden top.

Never again did I ride.

Kept all my eyelashes in a wooden box to keep the wishes for later. Kept all the hair from my brush in another wooden box and and and all my teeth.
I didn't want little pieces of my DNA floating around the world.

>2004, 6th grade
>ask permission teacher to go to toilet with my friend
>instead go to toilet, we go to toy shop
>browse & buying yu-gi-oh card
>back to class
>teacher ask why took so long
>[answer here]
>teacher didn't ask further, and continue class

Was scared of the toilet and would shit in a box then hide it then when it got to full would bury it in the backyard when no one was home.

Black people had black sperm

>>677891035
As a kid, I literally could not stop drawing dicks

>>677892738
Tell me that you now have your own personal decorative deer, that you can ride back down memory lane. If not, go get you one.

>>677891599
i did this too

I used to use the jets at the public pool to masturbate and think adults or the lifeguards didn't know what I was doing. I would get out of the pool with a full boner for christ sake

>>677892435
This

I thought till 2nd grade that if I looked at people with my eyes and not turn my head toward them they could not tell I was staring at them.

>>677892678
I did know how to do the freaky ululating noise they do, which i'd do while lighting and flinging roach bombs all over the driveway, usually getting big legs and shit all over everybody's cars.

My friend told me about jacking off and did a jerk off motion with his hand to describe how you do it. I thought that meant you were supposed to punch your dick and it would eventually feel good.

>>677893038
Did your parents send you to the priest to exorcise the cock demon out of you?

Thought chocolate milk came from brown cows.

>>677893278
>bug legs, not big legs
Fuck you autocorrect.

>>677891035
Stupid shit as a kid : Make out with my Pink Power ranger plushie I got from a crane game.

Thought I believed : All girls smelled like sugar & sweetness until I walked passed my high school girls gym locker. BITCHES BE MUSTY.

>>677891035

When i was a kid, my dad told me the worst piece of advice I will have ever received, and it has defined my life and i hate every single day i wake up because of it.

>Don't worry. Things will work themselves out.

>>677891035
I used to dress up in a costume like Batman and run around my city looking for crime. When I actually saw crime being committed, I was too chicken to do anything about it.

I once cut a frog in half with a comb when i was ten give or take

Used to roll up leaves in a post it note and smoke it cause i thought it was cool.

>>677891599
i went down on my stomach head first lol

>>677893416
Please tell me you grew outta that and you don't have a body pillow.

>school's end
>there's a terrorist raid, near my school
>police everywhere
>me and my friends decide to go the scene
>watch the crowd
>one of my teacher suddenly surprise us
>holyshit.jpg
>come to us saying "where've you been, your mother (point to me) call me wondering where are you."
>[answer here]
>all of us back to home

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Roll printer paper into tubes, light them, and act like they were cigarettes (7th grade)

I thought the world used to b in black and white until color TV was invented.. Born in 88

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My dad told me pic related were dead ants without legs

I had a model rocket when I was 11, and it had a little compartment in it where you you could put action figures, and I would stick toads in the compartment and shoot them up, when it came down they died because their neck broke

>>677891117
I ended up grabbing a seemingly empty gasoline container, putting a match into the top, and getting 2nd degree burns all over the left side of my face/neck

>>677893417
your dad was a beta and he molded you into a beta. shit happens bro, but don't worry, things will work themselves out.

always thought that china, japan, korea are one country

>>677893486
Smoking leaves, and coughing like a retard, yep!

I used to think there were a set number of clouds, like around 500 to 1000 and that they just rotated the planet all the time and I thought storms happened when two clouds collided and I thought the weather man predicted everything by monitoring each cloud and predicting paths etc.

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>>677893624
I miss my girlfriend, anon. :( it was hard to get rid of her. She kept appearing on my TV!

>>677891035
When I was a kid, I used to think OP wasn't a fag.

>>677891788
Well, some of them do, so at least you were part right.

When i was young, from when i was 6 till like 8-10, i thought everyone in the world except me were robots who were trying to kill me

>>677893930
That is mental

>>677891788
First part was me, hell I think most kids think that since its what is depicted in media

>>677891035
I thought having sex with a girl was like putting a hotdog in a bun in the literal sense. No penetrating just laying your dick between her "buns".

>>677893798
What are those?

If I pulled my foreskin back too far, my dick would fall out.

i'm overweight.
and the only thing i'm good in sport, is floor gymnastic

>>677894110
We are

>>677894138
Chocolate sprinkles

>>677891035
I thought women gave birth and you fucked them in the butthole up until 4th grade.

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i thought it was harder to rhyme in other languages because it also had to rhyme in english

>>677894110
the fuck people actually thought this?

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>>677894169

>>677894283
And you would pee in them to get them pregnant? thought the same thing.

>>677893930
Thats an impressive assumption to even grasp as a kid!
I now wish clouds worked exactly like this.

>>677891117
I'm still obsessed with fire to an extent. I was always careful with it though. The most reckless I've ever gotten was throwing some old beer cans (full) into a fire pit when I was in middle school

Used to piss in the air vents thinking it was a drain hole

I used to think women urinated out of their buttholes.

>>677894111
Is it?

>>677894444
checkd and kekd

>>677893836
Damn worst i did was blow up a axe can by accident almost blew my hand off.

>>677894376
Same here. There aren't a lot of mentions of ejaculation in pop culture so the only concept kids have is urination.

i used to think being nude was forbidden so id lay nude outside in my yard when my mom wasnt watching and i dont think i understood that there was windows in my house thinking about shit like that makes me want to kill myself but i turned out ok

i thought going to confession cleaned my soul and if i did or said or thought anything bad after that my soul would get progressively dirtier and if it was too dirty when i died St Peter wouldn't let me into heaven.

thank you, Father Bob McFuckingGuire.

for some reason, the sound of the toilet flushing freaked me out so I'd always cover my ears immediately after pulling the lever thing down. I realized at 11-12 that this shit was autistic af, so I broke the habit. a year later we moved to a new home with toilets that flush at a reasonable volume.

>>677891243
>>677891117
What the fuck? Everytime I see this thread these exact comments are the first to show.

>>677894566
Until you wake up from a wet dream. Thought it was bone marrow at first

>>677894586
>but i turned out ok
I don't' think anybody that "turned out ok" browses /b/

>>677894444
This would piss in air vents in school then during the winter when they turned em on oh god the smell nothing is worse then burnt piss smell.

>>677894502
Its a strange thing for a child to think, quite complex really. Maybe I was just a dumb child.

>>677894607
i used to sit rigidly upright in the car on the way home, trying not to think anything at all, in case it was bad. my parents thought there was something wrong with me.

>>677894169
aw

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>>677894666

I cleaned my ass throughfully with wet wipes to the point that it could be called anal fingering.

>>677894666
Same anon bro or your going insane also nice Satan trips.

>>677894681
Personally I discovered masturbation before my first wet dream. Never actually had one actually, probably because I was draining my sack while awake.

>>677894666
>666
>same comments posted first over and over
>you realize this isn't real, and we're all watching you
Howdy Truman!

>>677894712
Good point though

>>677894329
I did at least

>>677894444
I also did this for a while, what.

>>677894748
I thought of a lot of shit as kid. I just assumed clouds were like the sun and moon and there were lots of them because they always looked different. Storm clouds always looked big so I thought they must be two clouds or more.

>>677894666
Hail my dark lord!

I thought it was easy to get out of 3k.

Turns out dad was right. It isnt.`

>>677894927
This would jack off and only a clear liquid would come out. wondered why jizz was so white in porn.

>>677891035
As a kid I though fire was cool.

I have since learned that it is actually AWESOME!

>Me 8 playing with sister and cousin at grandparents
>Decide to try and jump mailbox
>Knock it over instead had to pay out of pocket

>four years old
>parents buy new TV
>brother and I keep touching it while mom helping the handymen set it up
>mom gets pissed
>tells us if we touch the tv, our arm would blow off
>never went near that TV for the next two years
>two years after we bought it, it got stolen by crackhead aunt
>literally the happiest day of my life when the bomb TV was taken away

I used to sit on the stairs when I got sent to bed cos I was scared of being alone. I always fell asleep there and woke up in my bed cos someone carried me in the night

>>677894566
That seems to be a really common thought among children.
I never really questioned sex until I was about ten and read a book with a very graphic rape scene. I learned too much too quickly.

>>677893664
Holy shit. Same here, also I thought dinosaurs lives in the same age as my parents.

>>677895000
Good 000

>>677894194
Howd you get by captcha then?

>>677891035
I watched a kid hit the primer n a bullet with a hammer. He ended up with some fucked up fingers and a piece of shrapnel in his leg.

I still laugh about that