vandalism back when i was a hardcore eshay lad

I made a scientologist upset at a protest.

>>677781988
DUDE

>>677781988
poachingand drugs (just pot)

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vandalism and theft...oh yeah...possess of marijuana

>>677781988
I don't commit crimes, I'm not a criminal fag

kidnapping and assault

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>>677781988

Nice try, FBI

I took a huge shit in the women's bathroom cause the men's stalls were full.

>>677781988

Once threw a brick through the shop window when the owner drunkenly tried to molest my sister.

>>677782768
Did you shit in the sink?

>>677781988
pimping

not the real deal, though, just helping some escort i know getting customer ( website, photos, fake review, writing ads etc..) but where i live i could get indicted for pimping even if i didn't get money from her ( just free sex)

Quite a few years ago, I took a trip to Phuket, Thailand. While on the beach, I decided to go have a swim so I took off my shirt and shoes, left them in a pile on the sand, and ran into the water. Was lazily splashing around (since the waves were basically non-existant) and i see this young Thai girl (probably 7 or 8) running around the beach. She runs past my pile of clothes and kicks a shitstorm of sand all over them, which is quite frustrating. She seems to be playing with her brother, who is also running around the beach.

Anywho after watching her for 20 minutes, she decided to eventually come for a swim in the water (her brother stayed behind to build a sandcastle) and luckily enough she swam near me. So I said hello (i don't think she spoke english) and then, while smiling and being friendly, started acting silly in the water. Jumping around and holding my nose to dive under. It had the desired result, as she thought I was playing a game so she began copying me. So I waited for her to dive under before I grabbed her shoulders and held her under the water (to outsides, it looked like I was just floating around with the water up to my neck, or perhaps taking a shit). It took a good while but she eventually stopped moving. I made my way down the beach slowly, in the water, dragging her body along until I got to a more deserted part (took me a good long while) before I let her body go and climbed out of the water. Zigzagging back through the streets, I eventually made my way back to the original beach to find someone had stolen my shoes, but atleast I got my shirt back. Also the girl's mother and police were there, but I paid them no attention.

Got expelled from school and some jail time because they thought I was gonna shoot up the school.

>Driven while drunk on P's (probably not over 0.05 because P's is 0.00 in Aus.
>Travelled 160kph in a 100 zone.
>Smashed up a car when I was 14 or so with a bunch of friends.

Most illegal stuff I've done ^

>>677781988
Murder.

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What picture do you guys cum to most often?

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>>677783415

>>677782078
faggot go back to sydney, filth

>>677781988
I stole lemons for a cheesecake

>>677781988
shop a crime to this guy pls b <33
>>677781453
>>677781453
>>677781453

I'm pretty much living a felony. My existence is literally criminal and my life is a prison.

It sounds like I'm being edgy and emo but it's literally the truth.

>>677783926
What ya do anon?

As we speak I'm on the way to court for my criminal trial. I fell asleep at the wheel and hit another cat on the highway. Busted for DUI. $1500 for a lawyer. Maximum sentence is 30 days in jail. It's my first offense, but I'm still shitting bricks. My anxiety is through the roof

>>677784428
Car*

And they're not injured

I once accidentally the whole thing.

>>677781988
ausfag btw
>about 15k worth of downloaded movies
>smoking weed
>made 250mw laser (i have since dismantled)
>possessing an air rifle
>selling weed
>ate grapes at shopping market

>>677781988
Smoked a few cigarettes at 12. Not too bad, honestly

Assault.

I shit on my neighbors windshield last summer because he was being a cunt. I had taco bell that day so it was full out diahrea and semi solid.

>>677784768
greentext?
>>677784819
i love you

>>677784761
>Ate grapes at shopping market
Kek

>>677781988
incest
torrenting
tax evasion

Cutting red lights on a bike
Speeding
Downloading illegal content
Using illegal programs

>>677781988
I don't commit crimes

>>source: being white

Drugs
shoplifting. ..

>>677784935
also i had a slice of this nice ham before i paid for it.
being the wog my grandpa is, he ate half a fucking melon once at the shop

>>677782768
That's not a crime as far as I know
Vandalism maybe but I doubt it

>>677783142
>pimping
>not getting money

Anon you are just helping other men fuck this woman. Sounds like your crime is being a massive cuck.

Beat up a street vandle/ attempted rapist near death, got away with it. Used friend as bait than jumped him. When he left hospital we caught him trying to do it again at the local pub waited for him to hang with friends again in the park, got my mates to jump them than I held him down and showed him what it felt like. This was 10 years ago. Now he is a wanna be monk

>>677785167
You raped a guy? Are you gay?

>>677783415
Why didn't you rape her??

Speeding over 100kms over limit and broken probably every road rule. drink driving, drug driving, driving with a disqualified licence, dealing drugs, sex with a minor, entering licenced venues and drinking while under age, stealing various items from shopping centres, detonating a number of pipe bombs, property damage, graffiti etc etc

>>677782900
No,in the women's stall

>>677784421

Everything is illegal :(

>>677785451
in the toilet at least?

Assault and battery
Arson
Red Lights
Wrong Side
DUI
Driving without a license
Speeding a good 60km/h over the limit
Illegal overtake
Didn't use blinkers
Public humiliation and slandering
Theft
Vandalism
Breaking and entering
Drug possession
Harboring a criminal

Though most of these i did as a kid at a small level, save for vehicle related crimes.

>>677785167
You're supposed to film him doing the rape first for evidence. Then upload the video here afterward.

>>677785081
A cuck ? This escort was just a girl i met in a party/a sexfriend ( we fucked 3 times before she started being an escort) who tried to work as an escort.

I made her get more client because i know how to do it. Where i live, helping someone else prostitution even for free is a crime.

>>677785449
Well, atleast you're not a nazi

>>677785356
>>677785341
Yea I rapes a dude, I ended up dating the girl I used as bait, he originally tried raping her. We were friends at the time. Now we are married

>>677781988
Stole gas from a cop car and used it to get away lol

>>677785627
bullshit

>>677781988
I once jaywalked but I felt so guilty about it I just had to hand myself into police.

speeding 247km around the backstreets of the city. to my surprise no cops came after me though

Done drugs, consumed alcohol as a minor (I was hard as fuck my niggers), 2x fraud, being a faggot, and you could probably count one drunken hookup as rape depending on how sjw the bitch was.

>>677785605
Did you tell her what you did?

>>677785676
whatevs, its was midday burning hot
me n 2 of my friends were hanging out, different neighbourhood, realised outta gas
used the pipe in friend's bike to suction gas outta cop car standing nearby into a pepsi bottle
there were no cops in sight but they could have returned any minute,
gg

>>677784927
>be me
>be on beer 30 of 30
>friend says im too drunk
>friend hides beer
>liver wants moar
>go into full blown black out rage and start breaking shit
>cops come
>dont know who i am or what i am..mind is dead
>tell police im not going to jail, start to fight
>sober police whip the dog shit oit of me, take me to jail
>cops filed 6 charges but only properly files assault
Luckily probation was worst punishment and i dont drink so fucking much anymore.

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>>677781988
Sodomy

>>677785912
Yea, she found it extremely selfless that I would do something like that for others (not just her) the fact of the matter was it worked out for the utter most better. Was very carefully thought out. Wasn't done in anger

>making drugs
>selling drugs
>stealing from shop when I were working in one.

>>677785734
Kek

>>677785844
>consumed alcohol as a minor

well, everybody do that, I don't think it's a big deal.

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>>677786154
sounds fake af

>>677781988
i steal little things from my job every day. things that go unoticed. like towels, toothbrushes, toothpaste, razors, phone chargers, weed and assorted smoking devices.

i work at a hotel during the night shift where im the only person on duty for the entire hotel. you wouldnt believe how many people leave their weed behind.

>>677786307
Is that supposed to be polished shit?

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I once broke into a Burger King at night to steal some balls from the ball pit. Filled my walk in closet with them at home. Made myself my own ball pit. Relaxing as shit. It was awesome.

>>677781988
I steal things. usually stuff I want, sometimes just to see if I can get away with it.
don't think I could kill a person though, don't have it in me, i'd probably die rather than kill someone even in self defense

>>677783763
Why does she have a picture of tits framed on her wall?

>>677786471
Anything related to ball pits should not be illegal

>>677781988

4 x Assault
2 x Police assault
2 x Resisting Arrest
2 x Possession Of Offensive Weapon
1 x Possession of Firearm
1 x Robbery
1 x Possession with intent to supply Class A
1 x Conspiracy to Traffic Class A

Served 8 years of a 19 year sentence. Sentences were served concurrent to each other. The 19 was for the firearm and traffic offences. The rest were while I was on the run

>>677786513
Oh, and I had consensual sex with a girl, we were both sober and going at it, but later she accused me of rape. Luckily this was in the mid 2000s so nobody cared

>>677786154
what a stupid cunt. Vigilantes aren't that different from the criminals. In fact they are the criminals.

>>677786602
>2 x Possession Of Offensive Weapon
what the hell is this?
was it a swastika shaped gun or something?

set fire to my school. no one ever found out it was me

>>677786752
/thread

well, i stole a bunch of legos in kindergarten

>>677786893
i stole pebbles

>>677781988

light treason

>>677781988
Hate speech and hate crimes. I am from /pol/ after all.

>>677786752

Baseball bat, and a crowbar that I had no legitimate reason for having in the car. Ukfag so really anything can be an offensive weapon

>>677787092
trump detected

>>677787092
poland?

>>677787132
you need reasons to have those things in your car in the UK?

>>677786418
yeah

>>677786471
hope you enjoyed rolling around on piss-covered plastic

>>677787046
You've made a huge mistake

>>677781988
>illegally downloaded a few terrabytes of stuff
>illegally pirated games and movies and sold them (back in ye old PS1 days)
>underage drinking
>suppling minors with alcohol
>drugs
>selling drugs
>working under the table at a tattoo place
>breaking and enter (high rise construction site)
>vandalism
>arson
>running with scissors
>not wearing a helmet whilst riding a bicycle

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she said she was 18, oops

>>677787380
The last two made me not believe you anymoar

>>677787441
how old is she?

Swatted someone.

>>677787217
yeah it's fucking bullshit

>>677784761
fkn ausfag you forgot the homemade taser from the disposable camera

>>677787661
lmao that is stupid as shit.

>>677787217

Because they were in easy reach, apparently you don't quick access to a crowbar while driving.

If you have tools in your car and are not a trades man, the cops can arrest you for "Going equipt to steal" If the think you may be going to steal.

Worst was either stealing money from a supermarket or 'borrowing' a friend's parent's car and writing it off, although I wasn't the one driving.

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>>677787595
18

>>677787677
i have mad one of those but the protection diode fucked up so it fucking blew up in my hand.

>>677787804
I know. I don't control the law though. It seems like they make some rules just for the sake of it

>>677787856
Then pls proceed with dump dearest anon.

>>677781988

ive done 6 years for being nigger i dindu nuffin

Moved a few kilos of drugs of 3 international borders

>>677787856
You just said oops. What does that mean then? That she isn't 18?

>>677787363
We washed them before using them, dumbshit.

been to court for smashing A FUCKING WINDOW on a bus. did just get a fine though, but that really pissed me off.

>>677785073
It isn't a crime to use a different bathroom, but people can press charges if they feel as if their privacy/safety was violated.

>>677781988
none. I'm not a nigger.
Plus, in my country you just commit crime if you got caught... and have sex with 14yo girl isn't against the law

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Raped my current girlfriend years ago, had sex with a minor and started a fire in a California forest

>>677787161
Trump is senpai, but I am not Trump

>>677787186
Australian. You can probably guess what I did.

>pirated movies/music etc
>assault
>battery
>gbh
>theft
>speeding/hooning
>dui
>drug possession
>drug dealing
>drug trafficking
>ordering cheese pizza
>arson

all I can think of at the moment, but theres probably more

i'm a piece of shit

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>>677787926
I probably shouldn't but I'll leave you with this one.

>>677788013
It means what ever you want it to mean, why do you ask so many questions? you sound like a cop.

>>677786471
Show me how to live

This isn't stupid bad, but I carry a Sharpie with me at all times just to write shit on bathrooms I go to.

..

>>677788238
>you raped a koala?

set fire to a building in a school. it burnt down to the ground. can greentext if asked

...

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>>677781988
i made someone dropped their popcorn

Filmed my best female friend naked in the bathroom with a hidden cam.

>>677788510
Greentext

>>677788530
SAVAGE

>>677782078
>goes from being a lad to a /b/-tard
nice upgrade faggot

>>677788661
ok give me a minute

>>677788010
Nice post anon

Made my sister lick my dick and played with her pussy when she was 4 and i was 10. Good thing she doesn´t remember it.

>>677788298
cont.

>graffiti
>vandalism
>underage sex
>underage drinking
>unlicensed driving
>possession of illegal weapons

Sent a couple hundred billion packets to a bunch of milsim fag on Arma 2 OA for kicking me out (their only dev, and their best pilot if I don't say myself) of their shit unit. Fried their server box, destroyed a couple routers, and stole a couple credit card details.

Killed someone. Just so i could save my family from that psycho.

>>677789087
Stfu

>>677788661
bear in mind this was my school at the time
>be me, 12 year old faggot in grade 6
>school had a place they called the "infill"
>basically a giant portable classroom
>my mates and i used to hide under a pile of cushions and wheely chairs when a teacher would come out
>one of my friends found a paperclip
>shoved it in the 220v (i think) power outlets
>brightidea.jpg
>melted paperclip falls on carpet
>fire
you can leave the rest up to your imagination. we basically got the fuck outta there. school was also out for a couple of days because asbestos

>>677788387
fucking savage

>>677789087
If you killed someone to save your family, then it wasn't a crime dumb ass

>>677782874
Nice

>>677788382
So she wasn't 18. What am i going to do ? I'm just asking

>>677784662
The whole thing?? Once I accidentally my neighbors car but that's it

>>677788659
Rapist/10.

>>677789201
What a stupid fucking cunt.

>>677789667
kek

Fighting and stealing mostly. Even got arested for fighting. But because my country forces people to go to the military for pennies for people ages 18-30 for 9 months that shit worked out fine, because they can't take people who were arrested, so I can live in peace, as long as I don't get into a fight or do some other illegal shit a year from my arrest, then I go to prison.

>>677789672
Not only that, but I also have a neckbeard.

Theft
Criminal Damage
Common Assault
Burglary: Non Dwelling
Harassment

Spent 5 months in the stony lonesome for the burglary. The act? Attempted to steal food from a supermarket during the 2011 U.K. riots. I didn't even break it, it was wide open. Anarchism an' shit.

One time at school I took a candy bar from the cantine without paying

>>677781988
when I was in highschool my friend worked for a mom and pop hardware store....this was decades ago. he planned out the burglary, and we did it one night. we made out with about 600 bucks, and were never caught. he tried something similar at another place a while later (without me) and was caught.

that is the only criminal activity i've done.

>>677784761
>ate grapes at shopping market
how are you still out there

>>677781988
Being born

>>677785071
top kek

>>677784428
how is an accident illegal
retarded america

>>677786602

Do you find it's affected your ability to find employment? I only have a small number of convictions but they're yet to expire so I have to declare them. Worried about finding employment.

>>677789265
it is in australia

>>677787296
niceeeee

Convicted: Assault in 2002

Not Convicted or Charged: Sodomy (on females), other assaults, carrying a firearm in no gun zones, driving while under the influence, selling Rx's, purchasing & using steroids, fucked a 15 yr old when I was 21, tax evasion, multiple sexual encounters in public (road head, fucking wife and other women in restrooms & fitting rooms- shit like that, menacing, theft (mother-in-law's panties), reckless driving (regularly race on highway at speeds in excess of 170 mph) & other shit that I can't recall at the moment.

>>677784936
Wincest you say?

>Drug dealing
>Assault
>Car Theft
>Threatening with a deadly weapon

>>677781988

Not sure it's it considered graffitti but this summer me and my son are going to spray paint a "strikeout" box on the side of a school near our house.

I also have been pirating stuff since 1984 and since than have obtained literally millions of dollars worth of games, music, movies, books, pirated satellite stuff, etc...

I literally own every single game for ps1, 2, and 3, and most games for C64, Amiga, PC, Super NES, Genesis, Dreamcast, Gamecube, nintendo game boy, Nintendo DS, Wii, Xbox, x360. and I download litterally every movie that's been released in the last 10 years.
I used to Download music, but not anymore because new music is complete fucking garbage and not even worth stealing.

I masturbate and run around naked in public places (parks, schoolyards).

I also have gay sex with complete strangers in public places as well.

>>677782768

I've masturbated in a woman's washroom before. A couple times actually.

Growing weed in an illegal state

>>677791688
moot ?

>>677790560
So it was more of an acident?

>>677788492
It was a hate crime, and I don't hate koalas much

>>677786602

I got charged with assaulting an officer before and I actually beat the fucker in court..

Stupid Pig!

Church burning
Car burning
Illegal possesion of gun
Shooting a kid with glock in leg. (Was an accident but looked hilarious)
Store robbery

>>677791761

>tfw masturbated in a graveyard.

I ate a grape in the store. Happened 5 weeks ago, police still havent catched me

Break and enter x2 >never caught
Armed robbery with a weapon >never caught
Assault with a weapon >caught
Uttering threats >caught
Possession of a dangerous weapon >caught

Those are the big ones ones other then vandalism and stealing from the store when I was a kid

In all only served one year in jail and 18 months probation total

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ITT - kids who look like this post about how hardcore they are

>>677792869
>tfw masturbated pretty much anywhere and everywhere that can be gotten away with.
>Including women's washrooms and a graveyard.

>>677793421
Honestly not hardcore. Just stupid. All the shit I did was when I was between the age of 17 to 20. Been awhile since I've done anything that can land me in jail.

Smoking weed
Speeding
Had a girlfriend that was 15 when I was 20
Torrents

This has made me realize I'm not very badass :(

>>677782078
fucking kill yourself you fucking scum. Go back to the hole that is western sydney.

Stole a guys entire weed crop

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>2016
>falling for this ruse

>>677794372

How does anyone get prosecuted for torrenting? I've been doing it for 10 years and I've never recieved a letter or any kind or warning. How do they catch you for that? It seems bizarre that it's taken seriously to me.

Vandalism, drug dealing, B&E, grand theft auto

>>677795516
I'm not the guy who posted, but torrenting non asian porn could get you caught

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Petty theft
Theft
Burglary
Arson
Vandalism
Assault
Public intoxication
Indecent exposure
Driving while intoxicated
Drug possession
Sexual abuse
Multiple traffic violations
And a lot of other fun stuff.

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I've slapped random school girl in butt once then ran away

>>677795825
>butt
hehehe

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Yes I did

I had sex with my 14yo female cousin, she want it in the ASS

>>677795802
I will eat yout lifeless flesh,
still warm, but raw.

>>677796076
bro story, cool

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>>677781988
once i did not seed a torrent. but even worse the person who showed me howto use the process told me to never do so.

>>677789057
Yeah ddosing someone isn't going to fry a server or destroy a router or give you access to literally anything. Fuck off retard.

>>677795462

>2016
>thinking any of this is incriminating evidence

>>677781988
Two accounts of Aggravated manslaughter (got caught one one account and served my time, necer got caught on the second one),
burglary, blackmail. Nothing special.

>>677783415
That is some fucked up shit lol

I went to the deep web. Anything can happen?

>>677796786
One question. If you dump an unconscious person in a river after a brawl, is that considered murder or still aggravated manslaughter. English aint my first language.

>>677790803
He was busted for DUI - drunk driving, retard.

>shoplifting some tic tacs

>>677797250
If it was heat of the moment it's manslaughter if you didn't realise at the time he would drown

real world trading

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>supposedly FBI looking at this thread

>>677798091
oh thanks. well, i think you can consider it murder then. Because that was my intention. Didn't want to go to prison again and also didnt want to risk the job and everything i've build up since i got out the last time. Thanks for clearing the definition up for me, kind anon.

The usual, theft, possession, vandalism, breaking and entering, fraud

an most of thats a recent thing

Piracy lel
Drugs
, Growing weed
, Smuggling weed Seeds
,Vandalism,
attempted assault
,Protest,
Stealing
,Arson

>>677781988
I sold weed

>>677798413
Just say it was manslaughter
The way the system works is they want to do SOMETHING to punish you so try to go for the softest and if not the plead guilty

When I was a kid:
Shoplifted a lot, got caught once. Still sometimes do it even though I have a decent job with decent pay.
Tried to burn an office building down to help out a friend, didn't get caught.
Started having blackouts at one point, during those got into fights, threatened some people with a Sinclair knife and tried to burn my GF alive in the bathroom. Waiting for how the criminal case will turn out about those ones.
And the boring stuff, underage drinking, drugs, etc.
That's about that.

>>677792731
Varg is that you?

>>677781988
arson, theft, fraud, vandalism

>>677781988
Care and control of a vehicle. Basically a DUI. But, I decided to sleep in my truck in a parking lot instead of driving home. Two cops found me, I complied and they slapped me with that ridiculous charge.
So, now I have a criminal record and when I explain it to employers it's more of a bad joke than anything else.

>>677781988
Nice try fbi
I've been arrested for possession of marijuana

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>>677798913

>>677783460
Don't lie.

You were going to.

2 counts of battery.

>>677798701
Thanks but i din't need too. People thought it was an accident or suicide and noone ever saw me. Also he wasn't the nicest person, so noone actually cared after a few weeks.

>>677783763
I use my imagination
I can't be the only one?

>>677781988
Smoking weed, thats basically a crime everywhere.

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>>677799247
We then bravo on executing it so smoothly

>>677799479
Well, tbh i almost shit my pants that night and for many many months after. Was lucky, nothing more.

>>677784428
You'll be fine

>>677798413
Reported to the police mother fucker!

Back when I was 15 I stole over $2000 worth of alcohol from various Walmarts
Sometimes i would empty out a big box that had something cheap inside off it and load it full of beer. Then I would seal up the box and pay for it
Sometimes I would just stuff those reusable shopping bags full and walk out
Once I just put 4 30 packs of Budweiser in a shopping cart and walked out like I did nothing wrong.

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>>677783415
Yes. Yes you did honey.

>>677800148
kek....even if it were possible to report that directly. How many accidents do you think happen every year? Who was the victim out of those? Don' t try to be "cool" or startle me somehow. To have even the slightest chance, you would need the name of the victim, a connection to me, the time, and so on. I'm completely fucking safe. You need evidence for a trial. And thats why i sit here laughing.