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Crimes we've gotten away with thread > I made around
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Crimes we've gotten away with thread
> I made around $10 selling weed when I was in high school
>>
Stole $500 in electronics from car hoping, sold countless drugs, drove around intoxicated more times than I ever want to remember, vandalized a construction site.

Normal ass anon now, will not do again.
>>
>>677629489
Same here plus vandalized some houses
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>>677629616
It was the rush then now I look back, and wonder how I didn't get caught.
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>>677629489
>>677629616
Degenerates
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>>677628966

Broke into a car, stole $1540
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Robbed a few liquor stores at gunpoint. Never got caught. Retired from that life.
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>>677629747
Buy some yeezys
>>
>solicited sex from ~30 prostitutes over the past few years
>molested my friends 3 year old sister while she was sleeping when i was ~12
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Selling all kind of drugs in Russia. Bumping with my ex.
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Paid my way through uni and left with no debts cause of drug prohibition.
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Cut a man's finger off with an axe while he was dead drunk. Not neccesary mentioning I was drunk too. Noone ever found out
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>>677628966
I can't even count everything
>dealing drugs
>possession of drugs
>driving drunk
>driving with no license
>trespassing
>shooting shit from an apartment
>>
I stole a cellphone out of a repairman's truck while he was doing something else. I got scared and threw itbinva sewer. Then I told another kid I saw a phone in the sewer and he went down to get it and he got in trouble for stealing a phone. Never got caught and my friend didn't even think it was me who did it
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Arranged meetings with hookers and drug dealers earned lots of money from that
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>>677630785
I drove drunk a ton too. Worst was after getting kicked out of a florida gators football game for being too drunk.

>stumble to car
>steal random cooler from tailgate area because it had beer in it
>hit two parked cars (very minor/no damage) on the way to the street
>call friend to remind me how to get back home while at a red light
>light turns green, i started going
>some asian family for no reason just stops in the intersection
>I lightly hit them from behind, again no damage
>I tell the guy to pull into a parking lot to exchange information
>he leaves, I somehow lose him and shrug and keep heading home
>next light, suddenly my driver door gets torn open by a screaming asian woman with a stun gun
>they accuse me of hit and run and tell me to give them my license
>I say I was going to the big parking lot up the street, which was actually kind of true
>they want it now in the middle of the street
>argue for like 5 minutes while she waves the stungun in my face
>she lets me close the door, she briefly takes her hand off the car
>light turns green, I take my chance and floor it
>make it home, blow a 0.21 on my breathalyzer
>promise to never drink and drive again
>break the promise a few weeks later
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>>677631447
Stay safe /b/rother...
>>677630785
At least it wasn't rape
>>
>>677631602
i haven't done it in years since leaving college. I just thank god i never got caught somehow. Would have ruined the chances of getting the career i have now for sure.
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>>677628966
$10?


Like one bag or what? Wtf?
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>>677630238
Niggga you deserve to get force fucked by a black guy with a veiny gonorrhea infecyed BBC. You broke the bro code big time by raping r our friends sister fagit
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>>677630238
Minors with minors isnt illegal

>Unless a court of jews decides it is
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I once stole a lot of Recyeling coupons. the ones you get in Holland when recyceling plastic bottles. I'v stolen about 60 euros. but I got caught but i said i only stole one. they let me of the hook.
dumb fucks. bought a ton of weed tho
>>
>>677631832
i said molesting, not raping. It was just rubbing her pussy and sticking my fingertip in for like half a second until she started waking up. It wasn't nearly as hot as i was imagining it would be. Should have waited like 7-8 years
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>>677631820
One bag. It was shitty weed too. I wanted to sell more but I pussied out. The drug hustle wasn't for me so I went back to stealing a little
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>>677632052

>hustle
Did you steal those pencils that cost a nickle?
Fucking shit, what's wrong with you, if you sold even to one guy I'm sure he came back at least 10 times asking for more, and you're too shitty to sell anymore.

Guy, selling one bag for ten bucks is not selling weed, its fucking sharing.
>>
Pushed a doorbell and ran away
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>>677628966
Once, driving late at night with no other cars around, I changed lanes without signalling.
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>>677632392
Dam son
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Loitering
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>>677632259
Point is I just stick to using weed rather than distributing. You smoke too?
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>>677628966
https://youtu.be/dZu7_z7SDEQ
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Shoplifted around $500 worth in Pokémon cards, gave them to my nephew for Christmas a few years later
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>>677632033
Why tho. Why did you have to do it.
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Driving high (fun fact, I've only been pulled over while high)
Public urination
I remember vandalizing a car at a scrap yard when I was a kid, but the car was to be scrapped so I don't feel too guilty about that one.
Taken drugs
Transported drugs
Petty thievery

Can't really think of much else
>>
>>677632756
You are one if the greatest uncles to have ever lived on the face of the earth.
>>
I did a lot of stupid things (probably forgot a few)
My mother is a cop so I made sure I never got cought.

>Stole 20 scooters in belgium, went with a friend on one scooter and we came back on two scooters (to the Netherlands). Stored them in the bushes and took them for a ride now and then. (also sold a few) or drove them in the water for fun.....
>Ordered a detech magnet like on the couter in stores, stole a lot of clothes (with my ex girlfriend).
>smased car windows to and stole tomtoms.
>broke into sheds in the neighborhood and stole booze or other stuf.
>bought and sold 500 xct pils.
>created a rasist gang in first class and smased some niggers.

Normal anon now, don't steel anymore (only grow weed and automated the whole process (just a few plants)
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>>677628966
I hope you all know that this thread is just getting you to admit to illegal activities and creating a digital fingerprint associated with YOU. Don't think you're as "anonymousse" as you think you are. Just a warning from a fellow concerned citizen.
>>
>>677632756
my grandma used to do this back when I was a kid with NES games. She had a connection that shoplifted a shitload of them and sold them for 5 bucks each. I still have the collection of ~190 games, all still in the box and most still with manuals.
>>
>>677633145
I was with you until the racist shit. I know this is /b/ , but Why hate blacks?
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>>677633619
Nigguh detected
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>>677633560
It's just weed bro. It's not like I had committed treason or raped someone
>>
>>677633560
what, is some county PD going to come get me in Germany because I drove drunk a few times over a decade ago? You're too paranoid anon. Nobody's admitting to anything worth going after like murder etc. plus probably 75% of these are fake or exaggerated heavily
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>>677633560
I think you need to take of your tinfoil hat and let your head breathe friend.
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>>677633780

Obviously not talking about people admitting to smoking weed.

>>677633802
Just saying man....the fucking NSA is in cahoots with Google and Apple. Times are changing and governments are beginning to catch up to technology...

>>677633845
>muh tin foil meme
I'm not suggesting a conspiracy, I'm just saying that it is possible for people to trace your comments online, even on /b/, back to you if they wanted to.
>>
>>677634049
you're overestimating how uninteresting most of our lives and online activities are to the feds. They don't give a shit how much I post about hating niggers, or how many petty crimes I admit to. They may be monitoring it, but they aren't going to do anything with it. They are more looking for definitive threats, terrorism connections, credible murder confessions, etc.
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>>677630399
call her and meet up to fuck this shit out of her dirty whore mouth until she screams i love you
>>
>>677634049
I'm european and I doubt anyone is going to give a shit if I say I've killed someone. Unless I go about making terrorist threats they will not give a shit kek.I do feel seriously bad though, for the normie that has to browse /b/ to sift through the endless shitposts just to find the one motherfucker who robbed someone 6 years ago.
>>
>>677634246
While you're correct about prioritization, I can't personally feel too safe posting "anonymously". Also algorithms can be invented to recall whatever data whomever wants to at any given time for any given reason. We're living in a dynamic time right now, so don't be fooled into thinking everything now is as it will be later. Be careful, anon. Be skeptical.
>>
>>677632947
Underage B&, you do realize at scrap yards they don't all cube the cars and sell parts of said scrap car? Literally you're retarded
>>
>>677634469
lol yeah, that poor bastard has cast a pretty bad lot in life.

>sir....I found this one guy who says he killed someone six years ago. we're backtracing his IP and other computer savvy stuff
>"GOOD JOB JOHNSON! GOTTA FIND THESE TERRORISTS BEFORE THEY STRIKE!"
>Yes. Um....sir.......what exactly is shota?
>>
>>677628966
>Came back from a trip overseas. Its was 3 in the morning, walking to my place.
>Get this sudden urge to shit like crazy.
>this fucking demon of a thing is screaming inside my colon
>can't find anywhere to shit
>it comes
> step infront of a boutique shop for ladies clothing
>as soon as my pants cleared my asshole it fucking exploded this torrent of watery shit out onto the entrance of this shop like a shotgun
>wiped my ass with wrapping paper and left it on top of the mess
>went home
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>>677628966
shoplifting booze
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>>677634980
>shieeeet
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Anyone used a jewpons b4?
>>
>>677628966
I pirated some mongolian sockpuppet cartoons this one time
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>>677630686
wut
>>
I was involved in brussels bombing.
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>>677632518
Absolute cunt
>>
Have had a few courier jobs for drug dealers
>pick up parcel form place A
>drop off at place B
> don't ask any questions
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>>677635653
I paid for two years of college doing that.
>>
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>>677632521
>>
kidnapping and assault
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>>677633560
Anonymity is protected when you don't have a permanent address and never used wifi and or a Pc registered and bought in your name
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>>677630686
greentext?
>>
>>677628966
I used to steal shit tons of Yu-Gi-Oh cards from Walmart.
>up the sleeve
>into the bathroom
>into my pocket
>out of the store
Every time.
>>
>>677636723
>Be me, alcoholic fag
>about 2 years ago
>back from usual drinking at the bar
>dead as fuck
>go to piss
>find a drunk fag sleeping
>I hate that faggot
>he mumbling shit
>grab an axe, cut off his finger
>he fucking screams so loudly I immediately got sober
>blood everywhere
>oh shit
>run towards the river as fast as I can
>wash my hands and face, clothes too
>return home naked
Tfw that bastard never found out it was me
Tfw they still think it was the retarded nigger lodger from the neighborhood
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>>677635799
I fucking expected this, kek well done
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>>677637510
where the fuck did you get the axe from kek
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>>677637820
Serbia is a nice place you know
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>>677630138
How did the robberies go? How much money did you get away with?
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>>677628966
what kind of a fucking idiot admits fucking anything ever in anywhere? no matter how anonymous

the number one tip if you are ever going to do something barely illegal, NEVER ADMIT OR CONFESS ANYTHING, even if you're caucght red-handed
>>
>>677628966
I dont pay the bus fare
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>>677628966
vink'd
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>>677638200
Lol nice dubs but you are still a fucking retard, do you seriously think the feds, swat teams all the NYPD, fuck figuring out the next terrorist attack lets go bust down the door of this dude who sold 10 $ of weed to some random kid we have no idea about and no evidence about other than what he wrote on an anonymous bulletin board
>>
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>Stole a speed camera
>Selling explosives to minors
>Selling drugs
>Growing weed
>Blowing countless mailboxes (During New year)
>Built a flamethrower, shoots 30ft
>Built a pulse jet and putted it on a bike
I dont know if growing tobacco is a crime in Sweden but fuck it.
>Only 19 yo
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>>677639048
Wow such edge
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>>677639048
Hhahahaahaha vart fan är du ifrån? Är du från Alby eller nåt?
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>>677639048
That's what we do at 13 in Serbia, it's cringe
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>>677639131
Skara
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>>677628966
Hardcore.
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i broke 9 times in The same store and stole 1kg potatoes to show how unsafe this shit is
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>>677628966
I watched porn when I was under 18. Will never do it again.
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I went to the disney website without my parents permission
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Watched Dragonball on YouTube. I realize now this is copyright infringement and I deeply regret my childish decisions.
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Drug dealing, set some old house on fire when i was 16 years old. Some very lightweight shoplifting.
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Drunk gta crash.
Sold a lot of fucking w33d.
>>
>with thread
wat
Thread replies: 87
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