Tweezers

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You is fucked breh, get someone you can trust that owns a decent pair of non-plastic tweezers, all else fails and it's up to the ER with you my friend.

>>677614711
I tried but I just keep pushing it in deeper

>>677614732
I have 0 friends fam

can you hear the ocean?

>>677614616
vacuum cleaner. film it.

>>677614809
Dude THANKS, I'm going to go try this right now

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OK the vacuum didn't work and now my earhole hurts like all fuck

PLZ HELP

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Inb4 OP ruptures his eardrum and empties his cranial cavity into a suction device

Have you tried pulling on the cord?

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Last thing, cover your pinkie finger in fast acting glue, shove that fucker into your ear like you are marinating the internals of a cooked turkey, if you can touch the back of the plug, and wait until it somewhat attaches you should be able to pull it out. If not, TL;DR ER

>>677615142
oh my fucking god don't actually, go see a doctor

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>>677615279
Good one! ;*)
>>>677614616
σρ! ∂ι∂ уσυ тяу ρυѕн ιт ѕσ нαя∂ тнαт ιт ωσυℓ∂ gσ συт ву тнє ѕє¢ση∂ єαя؟

try to grab it with a barbed fishing hook

>>677615457
That's a good idea, trying that now

Happened to me once
>had friend use a toothpick
>punctured inside of earbud
>pushed earbud against the part of the ear above the love
>popped right out

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>>677614616
Just end it

happened to me, got right fucking in there. the doctor used one of those egyptian looking things that they used to get the brain out from the nose.

call doc

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>>677615666
That didn't work at all, the mother fucker is really REALLY in there. Aww fuck, what do I do?? My head is hurting like fuck

>>677615666
Satan gonna bless your earhole m8
if dubs, convert religion

>>677615907
I'm about to go ask a random person outside to help me out dude, this hurts so much. And I can't go to the doctor, I'm poor and have no insurance

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>>677615896
There is no way of pulling it out, just die

>>677615896
If you have a thin object, like a pin or sewing needle, you could cover it in cooking oil to slicken and blunt down the edge and fish it out.

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Call the doctor man, get it done right. either that or this
>>677614616

Shoot it with a gun to push it all the way through and blow it out the other side.

>>677616069
Go to a free clinic

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>>677616124
I don't want to damage my hearing, I've already tried tweezers but the mother fucker is like inside my inner ear canal at this point.

Fuck boys, it looks like it's time to go to the ER

microwave it

>>677616308
What he said

>>677616351
You are at a high risk for hearing damage you fucking idiot who uses q tips in 2016 really?

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>>677616351
do you have one of these blue things?
or a store to buy one near you

>>677616402
There aren't any free clinics around here

>>677616690
I already tried a vacuum hose to my ear for fuck's sake. What if I go to the ER and give a fake name or something??

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>>677616690
or this

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>>677616970
or this one

>>677616970
Yeah I tried that too, It seems like I'm pushing it in even more. I wish I had fellow humans that could help me but I'm a friendless famililess faggot

plug off your nose and opposite ear, close your eyes and mouth. then blow out of the plugged ear to push it outwards.

>>677614616

Having a foreign object in your ear for a prolonged time can get dangerous. It'll cause inflammation and can get seriously infected. Get that shit out.

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>>677616869 not gonna work m8 ._. if you really are that desperate, and getting professional help is a No-Go, only thing i can suggest is use faster acting glue, Superglue might be overkill and you'll need nail polish remover/acetone to get it off your finger, but might be your only option at this point, can guarantee tho it will get it out as long as it has a chance to bind

>>677617259
Fuck mate I already feel it swelling up

>>677617270
Ok I'm going to try a q-tip with super glue on it. Pray that I don't end up super gluing my fucking ear fam

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>>677615666

>666

those digits

>>677617423
Pics or it didn't happen

>>677614616
go to a doctor you dumb fuck that shit's gonna get inflamed and fucking infected as fucking fuck

OK THANKS TO THE DUMBASS THAT SUGGESTED SUPER GLUE

Now not only do I have a fucking earbud stuck to my ear, I have fucking super glue stuck in there as well. Fuck my shit up fam

>>677617748
kekekekekeke

>>677617748

pics?

trust me i'm a medical doctor but i need pics

>>677617748
yeah there is no hope left you are dead

>>677617977
Pics are useless, you can't see the earbud at all, it's really fucking in there.

I'm going to shower and walk to the elementary school nearby, maybe the teachers can fucking help me

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you need to lube that fucker up and find a way to get a grip on it and just pull it right the fuck out, something non-toxic like olive oil would work great but you just need something to grab onto it with, and suction is only going to cause more damage, not sure if you ever managed to grab it with the tweezers, but with the lube it might just work, worth a shot atleast right?

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If you lube it up, it might slide ever further inwards and into his brain cavity itself.

once there it would no longer be considered an ear bud, it would instead become pic related.

Where u at OP? Maybe some anons on here could help u out???

>>677619077
Colorado Springs CO.

I'm going to the elementary school down the street and ask the nurses there for help

>>677619199
KEK they might make you go back to class with the rest of the special ed potatoes

>>677619356
HEY bro hello it's not funny. I could die any second now

>>677614616
https://youtu.be/dZu7_z7SDEQ

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>>677619199

KEK

prepare for pic related

op you better fucking post if you get it out ok?

>>677619199
topkek

>>677614616
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9ayUQLmZlo

do this op

Don't let it Die guys, we still need to hear how it ends

use some pliers, i use it frequently when i have to get my earplugs out at work

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Bump for interest

fucking epic thread OP, i salute you and your fucking ear, someone please screencap this with ending

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Post pictures of Dijon Mustard until OP gets back

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bump

>>677616578
He didn't mention qtips but I use them. How do you clean your ears?

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Could always just go to the hospital, they wont deny you treatment you'll just get a pamphlet on charity care, the wait might be long but it'll feel better once the doc takes that shit out of your ear

Magnets

bump for interest

>>677618119
Hahaahahaha
"Mrs. Loomis, there's some guy at the door who wants to know if you can get an earbud and a glob of super glue out of his ear. Should I call campus security?"

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>>677615142

Guys i think OP is kill
Oh yes he ded

>>677614616
Use fire, it'll soften up all of your earwax. Also, livestream

OP is kil

tweezers is the only option, really. how do you keep pushing it with tweezers? get your hands firm dude, jeez...

keep it alive

>>677614616
>buying and using IEM's

Hahahahaha fucking retards

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Okay, i will explain to you what to do because i have done the same thing 3 times myself. You need 2 mirrors, one that you can hold in your hand. Use tweezer like You're Dr.Snuggles drilling to the center of the earth and just pull out whatever you can grab. If you are dumb enough to buy cheap headphones, you deserve the pain

Stop posting dijon anons, you are making me want ice cream

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Op IS KILL

>>677623433
no

Instruction video https://youtu.be/uyTomAW6Bvk

>>677622094
pinky and turn pinky into vibrator mode, shit just comes off by itself then

Whats going on now :D

It's hard to feel bad for OP, when his first, second, and third decisions were to continue asking /b/ for medical advice rather than going to an ER. Just about all of these ideas sound like they would make the situation worse, and OP was dumb enough to buy it every time.

OP, if you're still here (you moron) go to the ER. You aren't going to get this out on your own and no one who isn't qualified to do it is going to get it out either. If you stop fucking around with it now, you might save your hearing.

Why the fuck are you even asking? Just go to the ER you goddamn moron.

Inb4 OP comes back deaf

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>>677614616
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS THREAD!

>>677614806
Underrated post

bomp

Plunger.

>>677616578
C U R R E N T Y E A R
U
R
R
E
N
T

Y
E
A
R

Ok guys OP here. The nurses said I'm pretty much fucked and that I need to go to the ER like right fucking now. I came back to post this and get my ID, see you guys later

just a reminder that if you go to the ER they will make fun of you

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>>677624962
That's it m8?
What a letdown d -_- b

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Somebody screenshot this shit so we can save it for the future generations
>Inb4 organizing Captchas of various salads

>>677614616
You're going to die.

>>677624962
>sticking a non-sharp object in your ear
>fucked

nigga, they pull it out and it will be fine.
it's not like you pushed the earbuds into your cerebral cortex.
fucking dramaqueen.

>>677624962
sayonara faggot

Kill yourself. Only solution.

>>677614616
Dude your going to die it keeps going in deeper RIP op

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>>677614871

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The Dijon Sustains This Thread, when OP gets back we will all have a Party!
>Inb4
Mustard
Chain

>>677628682
keep posting. this shit looks fucking delicious.

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Certainly good sir, in due time we shall take over the Universe <:'D

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will op survive?

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>>677628744
Nice Dubs Btw,

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>>677629368
He'll be fine m8, might just be a few hours, Hoho. he can blame me for the acetone in ear though.

>>677616117
Hawrwrwrwr

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>>677614711
That can hurt him more than it helps. Op take one of these and pour it on to the roof of your ear canal. Tilt your head so that your ear is facing the floor. Gravity will do the rest.

>>677629943
* fill with water

>>677629943
*fill with water

>>677614616
go to the doctor retard, they'll pull it out easy in like 10 seconds

you trying to get it out is literally going to do nothing but cause yourself more harm.

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>>677629943 He's at the Hospital rite nao, prob in the waiting room. We wait and then we drink, preferably this
<---------

Holy fuck this thread is cancerous not a single pic was posted and somehow it got too 180 replies. Im disappointed in you /b

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>>677630171
>drinking mayonnaise

>>677622472
that's some good dijon right there
have some in my fridge right now

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Nice Dubs
>>677630266
I am probably Largely responsible for that though d^_^b
Inb4, I am not a Robot

>>677614732
You fucking that?

>>677630332
you have to heat it up a little so that it flows
otherwise, it's not really a drink

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>>677614616
try dis

>>677614616
Dab a tiny bit of mayonaise around the edge. As it congeals it will contact causing negative pressure thus pulling it back a little. Should then drop right out.

>>677630332
>>677630912

or, you can drink it deconstructed:
take a shot of oil
take a shot of egg whites
take a shot of lemon juice

it layers really nicely too
lemon juice on the bottom, then egg white, then oil (I prefer olive)

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Dunno how to Embed youtube vids, Oh Well.
Here goes nothing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdziQMl0Z0s
>>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdziQMl0Z0s

>>677630933
Thats a fucking tap and dye.......... I mean urg... Yeah .. That would totally work

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Well... that was simple ._.
I will invoke a New Age of Dijon upon /b/
Today marks the shift into a New Era

>>677631181
die?
I'm not sure why you would want to change the color of a threaded ear hole

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OP better thank the Mustard when he gets back

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>>677621563
i remember that thread

>>677614616
https://youtu.be/dZu7_z7SDEQ

OP?

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Oh, Op... how I yearn for your return... if i witness thou again, i shant drink thy dijonaise

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This is now a sticky va-j-j thread!

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is this sticky?

>>677615755
would be funny if it wasn't me everytime i need to go to a doctor

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>>677636326
OP??
Is that you...?

>>677617748
That's what happens when you listen to b

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>>677637074
Lmfao, that was Me
Mr.Dijon

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Beginning to lose hope that we'll never hear from OP again :(
May he R.I.Pepperoni

>>677614616
Use a fishing hook and wiggle it out

OP, would your name happen to start with J?

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Patience wears thin, if i dont hear from OP in 20 mins i'm burying all my bottles and digging an extra hole....

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>Bump

Keep the thread alive with united airlines planes

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>>677639290

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>>677639290
Mustard was here first m8, feel free to tag along but acknowledge my newfound ownership of this Thread
>Inafter Mustard

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>>677624962
Need some pics up in this shit! So it doesn't end up being total bullshit

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>>677640541
This Man has the right idea

Get duct tape and push that into your ear then try to pull it out.

>>677614616
Tried a wineopener?

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This Thread has Officially been in existence for 1h45m. Mister Mustard has done his job well, but alas.... Where The Fuck Is Op?

>>677642685
Doing the Lords work there

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>>677643651
Couldn't agree more, But i grow tired of this charade and i am running out of usable Mustard, got like five minutes before OP is Kill and i defile a Loli thread with my presence, Dijon Mustard will become the new Spiderman

All Hail

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Final Picture and then I leave this thread to its fate, I have dug a hole for it in the graveyard and am ready to begin the Ceremony

Hocus Pokus Op Was A Fag
Mister Mustard, Out
<-------
Here lies OPs Cremated Remains