autism

my alopecia make me worry that people are more focused on my head than my eyes when in conversation and i often mumble when talking make it hard for me to interact with new people.

>>677586546
when I was 8 - 12 I looked like a little girl
my older sister told her high school chums I was a homo
back then people treated homos like they treat pedos now
parents told their kids not to play with me
teachers made me the class scapegoat
older kids lurked outside my school to bash me
it was so bad my parents sent me away to a boarding school
when I came back I was 17, 6foot6 and 100kgs
even now years later the townsfolk are petrified that I will kill them all

>>677587481
that sucks man, anywhere else you would be an ideal person to be around but nobody wants to hang with you even more now, i bet

>>677586546
I have OCD and I have to have everything a certain way not matter what the cost. So obviously people wouldn't exactly wanna be around someone like me.

>>677586546
I was absent for 9 months from my hometown becaus of military duties and most of the guys I used to know either forgot me or left from there as well.
Plus I broke up with my then gf and now I'm alone.
Only have a handful of friends I hang out with, seems really hard getting to know others since we're complete strangers.

Acted like an all around retard until late Jr high, when I finally realized how to be friends with people. Never got the hang of it, mostly made new friends based on people my friends already knew. Moved to college, now I have nobody to piggyback on, and I realized I still don't know how to make friends.

It's not enough, /b/.. It's not enough to know how to be a friend.

No one gave a chance.

I some so ridiculously good looking that people are too intimidated to hang out with me. The only contact I get with other humans is booty calls with straight 10s. Its a hard life

not going out and preferring basement over chicks

>>677588008
I'm in that same position right now I don't know how people work

>>677588008
Just be yourself anon, it's hard for me too.
(post above yours)
The latest interactions I had were minor, like asking for directions on the street or through games online.
Take it step by step and work your way through it.
No need to be friends from the beginning.

>>677586546
>What makes you a social outcast
I have really fucked up face herpes.

>>677586546
"Bad wiring." Innately more intelligent than average, but social retard. I won't say what it is because you /b/tards will flame me.

>>677588159
So far, to me, seems that people respond best to a mixture of caring too much about them and not caring at all about them. I've been reading 1984 for tips on doublethink, whch I believe is appropriate.

>>677587481
fag

>>677588271
post pics of herps

Sheltered as a child to the point of developing social phobia.
Definitely better managed now, but interacting with unfamiliar people is physically exhausting if I don't have someone with me.

>>677587481
Rape your sis

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>>677586546
Irrational hatred for myself. If I don't like me how can anyone else?

>>677587481
But the real question remains..
Is be actually homo?

>>677586546
Maybe not the right thread for this but I'm having problems with this girl I really like. She has some problems but i still want to be with her. But every time we hang out I just can't make a move. It seems like she dropping hints that she wants to fuck but I still can't do it. Any advice or do I just need to stop being a beta faggot

>>677588363
nah

>>677588541
Bruh. The feels are real.

Social situations tire me out to the point where I like it when my friends don't show up to class or call me, so that I don't have to deal with the effort of speaking to them

Having friends and social connections feels like a chore to me which means I hate having to make new ones

I keep getting into fights with my family, failing college, stuck in between 2 groups of friends but I feel like I don't belong in any of them since I just get ignored, no job atm and I can't stop thinking about killing myself and ending this shit.

My dick fell off.

My humor is pessimistic.

>>677588622
I used to be in a similar situation, stop being beta as fuck until it's to late

>>677588869
King Missile, is that you? (their hit song was "Detachable Penis" btw)

Constantly second guess myself and worry about how I'm presenting myself to the point that I actively hide who I am and what I like so that I can conform to the norm in a desperate hope to be accepted in an otherwise uncarig and hateful world.

Plus I'm pretty sure I'm also just kinda ugly.

Just don't care what people say. It has impacted on all my jobs as I can't form relationships, professional or otherwise.

When people talk to my I smile mildly, good eye contact, I can nod, I can perform all thr social skills I've picked up and read about. But for the life of me, everything social bores me.

I can do academic stuff, listen and learn. But as soon as it's general social shit, I'm a robot working off a very basic routine. The worst part about it is, I feel loneliness and isolation and I so wish I didn't.

>>677588925
Crap... I got that one too.

>>677588460
>Sheltered as a child to the point of developing social phobia

Is that a thing?
Because it seems my own life summery.

>>677588270
>Just be yourself anon,

That's probably why most of us don't/can't make friends in the first place.

>When i was 15 i realized that i had ADHD, >which was quite a punch for me.
>Couldn't make friends because 'social anxiety', acted like a retarded cringe lord when in public (I've farted in front of a chick)
>that crushed my self esteem
>can't get laid
>Start smoking weed
>1 year of smoking and can't enjoy it anymore (panic attacks and depression)

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>>677586546
For 3 years in school i've tried making myself seem extremely happy and that guy you'll always be able to trust. I made everyone laugh and i'd listen to their stories on the dramatic shit that bothered them, practically everyone liked me. I wasn't happy though, I started feeling like I was only "popular" in school because of the autistic shit i used to do. I slowly started to hate the attention and every friendship i made since the first year just faded away which made me depressed for months. Questioning why i should even continue trying. Right now i just have 3 friends i actually would want to keep. Somedays i can't hide how shit i feel and people would notice, i'd obviously (as the faggot i am) would just reply with i didn't sleep well. I don't even wana have a girlfriend, I just wana feel truly loved.

Self loathing, been made a pariah since childhood so dont know any difference. Was on a lot of drugs that stunted emotional growth when I was a kid/early teens.

>>677588999
It wasn't a joke or reference. My dick fell off.

>>677587707
those are some kind words new friend

>>677589081
Eyy we can watch the world burn together don't worry.

Had a furry stage In high school.
Wore a tail every day and everything.
Never did anything weird or retarded, it was just the tail. When I'd be asked about it I'd just say "I just think it's cool."
Pretty sure that's about 60-80% why I don't have a lot of friends now.
Don't regret it though.. They were pretty soft and a good distraction when class was boring as fuck.
Also I always got a laugh from the few people who saw it for the first time and looked at me like they'd seen an alien. Always good kek.

>>677589095
My mother basically did not allow me to interact with people outside my family, and the whole "stranger danger" thing got turned into the idea that everyone you pass on the street is actively looking for opportunities to murder you and rape your corpse.
So now I'm just constantly on edge whenever I don't have someone with me I can trust to at least cheer me on and call the cops if shit hits the fan.

>>677589443
Buttplug?

autism and the fact that i have to fap 3-4 times eachday.

>>677589635
Keychain tail man common what part of "no weird or retarded shit" did you not understand.

>>677589190
Well, fuck everyone in that case.
If you want friends you have to have real ones.
You can pretend you're someone else to your employer or a girl you want to fuck, but when friends and family are involved you should be real.
What worth does a fake friend have?
When times get hard he/she will abandon you with no second thought.

>>677586546
I have low self esteem due to being bullied for 10 years at school and never making a friend. Also from being abandoned by my parents and abused in the house I grew up in. Life has been pretty shitty.

>>677586546


conversation is too much illusion and bores me
subcomunnicational stuff is creepy
aswell, how to jump friendly off the train?

>>677589730
Buttplug?

>>677589920
Yes.

I can't make small talk for the life of me and deep conversations are extremely hit and miss. Also autism

>>677589773
>What worth does a fake friend have?
>When times get hard he/she will abandon you with no second thought.

Who even cares? Even the "real" ones do this too.

>>677589443
That takes courage. Teens are when you want to express yourself the most, and few have the guts to work outside the margins. I was very industrial in HS, after Columbine people were getting nervous. One chick I had never ever seen before came up to me me after class and asked me not to shoot her when the time came.

Decided to tone it down a bit. But still, took a lot of shit before the fear settled in. Got some quiet time.

>>677589792
Wow somebody sounds like a hippie dippie little shit

>>677586546
i willfully reject most of society, its not that they dislike me, i dislike them, and prefer my own company.

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>everyone I grew up with is an idiot
>actually a genius, cool
>Couldn't test out because reasons
>grew up with the idea that these people are stupid as fuck
>excluded from most social groups because considered weird
>finally get to college
>this work is the same level of difficulty when I did this in fifth grade
>literally no advanced courses or anything
>no real jobs either
>related to practically everyone
>working dead end job
>everyone is a moron or a drugged out retard
>coworkers can't handle shit
>supervisors are god damn children
>have no sex drive or desire to meet anyone
>don't drink pop
>hate the smell of cigarettes
>alcohol is bad
>I'm the weird one
>something is wrong with me
>if you had a drink maybe you'd change
>why don't you ever show an interest in anyone?
>don't like girls? You're obviously gay.
>don't like guys either? What's wrong with you?
>how can you not like anybody?
>why don't you want kids one day?
>why do you hate children?
>why don't you want this managers position?
>why don't you actually GO anywhere outside your house?

It doesn't help that I've had depression since I was young and it's most likely affecting my thinking because some days I just wish the world would go up in flames while other days I'm chill and very happy to just be gaming with the friends I do have.

>>677590169
I care!
I haven't turned my back on my close ones and my family, and I won't as long as they're cool with me too.

Ny relation to drugs

>>677590017
Ayy lmao.

>>677590189
I generally didn't give a shit what people thought about it. To me, it was a bit of fun and overall a relatively minor part of my life at that time. Sure, people should howl at me down the hallway and tug on it and shit, and I'd usually humor them, or punch them, as those things were like 30$. Was and still am a pretty tall cunt who wore jackets alot so I looked like I had more mass than I actually did so nobody really seriously fucked with me.

Overall 9/11 experience would post about.

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>>677590420

>>677590582
>it came to me, in the dead of the night.
>that small, seed of an idea. That face, those words
>and it said to me, in my lucid world
>ayy
>lmao

Eh, somewhat. I just have to watch my mouth because I'm a fascist.

>>677590287
Maybe stop being this edgelord and confess to yourself that youd like a hot gf to fuck and to love.
Youd like to have many friends too, but because you never had some you tell yourself that you dont need them.
On top of that you think you are smarter and wittier than anybody else which also is pretty cringe

>>677590772
/pol/?

>>677590814
Pol is filled with idiotic bolsheviks and skinheads. Not a place for me.

>>677590287
Holy shit anon, you are me.

>>677590751
Kek

>>677590794
Agreed with anon. In general psych right now and there's apariantly this stage in development when practically everyone believes they are special or unique in some say and that their problems are unique as well, and nobody can possibly understand or relate to them. It's called the personal fable, I believe, and it generally exists for HS-age teens, up to around 19 at the latest, or something like that.

Basically what I'm saying is grow the fuck up edgelord you're not any more special than anyone else you hold disdain for.

I listen to AKB48,SKE48,HKT48,NMB48,Girls Day,Apink ect and I enjoy its really all I listen to

>>677586546
I'm fat, I don't leave my house for the most part, I have paranoia and I'm a complete asshole towards everyone.

>>677586546
I am autist.

>>677591135
That's just wank material.

>>677591229
I found /pol/!

>>677591332
I don't even go there, is this a meme?

>>677591229
An avid fan of Alex Jones I see.

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Mild autism. True story. Only found out I was autistic when my friend got drunk and told me, then I asked my mum and she confirmed it, lol.

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>>677591436
It is a meem you dip.

I nearly died when I got in a fight with some friends. Cut myself on something and nearly bled out on my way home. Doctors that stitched me up confirmed I had cut an artery and was lucky to be alive. Spent most of my teens wrestling with the idea of my own mortality instead of making friends. Now I'm alone.

But at least I got that shit out of the way, I guess.

I am currently reading through quiet. Not far into it but it seems good

I'm cold hearted.

>>677586903
/thread

>>677586546

>educated doctor parents who are very decent people and cared very much for my upbringing
>not interested in pop culture, or whatever it is other kids like
>grew up in different countries, forever a sense of non-belonging
>people who are like me keep to themselves
>edgy but not an asshole

>>677591446
I had to look that up, no not that kind of paranoia. Mostly just thinking that everyone around me judges me constantly because I do the same. That's why I could never eat when I'm in public, I'd just feel ashamed and disgusting.
>>677591524
K

>>677586546
I'm a worthless piece of shit, and I don't want to bother people with my existence. When my two only friends decided that I was a nobhead and kinda just cut all contacts with me, I just decided to fuck it and sit on my PC all the time I'm not working until I die.

>>677591774
Lcuky sum bitch.. You got to do what very people in the world get to do, travel to places.

>>677591666
/thread/

>>677586546
>Is woman
>Hates kids
>Is autistic
>Doesn't understand the social barriers about not talking to dudes about sex because there are reasons you don't do that???
>Females don't like me
>Male friends ditch me the second they get a girlfriend because she feels "threatened" (makes men even less reliable friends)

4eva alone.

I'm not a social outcast. I maintain friendly relationships with most people I meet, yet I don't give a shit about them, because they're booring normie cunts. The few friends I have are probably even more fucked up than I am, but they're fun to be around, and I can be myself around them. Well, almost.

It's because i'm considered one or more of four things:
1) too much of a careless spaz airhead
2) too much if a dork/nerd
3) too much off a quiet weirdo
4) too much of a mouthy douche

Doesn't bother me as much these days. People come and go, yknow.

>>677590287
I feel ya bud.
>dat mind-numbing indifference

>>677586546
/b/ tier jokes
I talk a lot of retarded stuff. I never shut up.

>>677591915
Yeah I admit that I have a lot to be grateful for. But it's hard when you can't relate to your peers.

>>677589059
this
I can't stand about what pointless things people talk to distract themselves from reality or just don't mind life questioning discussions.
And people focusing on one way when solving hypertheoretical problems, that they solve with being super subjective and thinking what people would say about them.
People think ethics are more than shit that was formed mostly in the LAST century while they deny that every action that is performed by anyone has no meaning and no long-term consequences.

>>677586546
well i was kinda fucky from the get go always screaming breaking shit running away and waht not from a young age, elementary school was fine but then the second divorce happened when i was 8 and then around 6th grade i must of lost my goddamn mind that and with an angry new stepdad i was never allowed to leave the house because i got busted smoking pot a few times, then i spent the next few years locked in a room allowed to do nothing but play the same games over and over provided i wasnt grounded for months on end for a wrong glance, after years of being eroded away called a cock sucker to my face as a little kid whose mother got beaten and screamed at whenever i did something wrong i dont know man lifes a bitch

>>677591885
>and I don't want to bother people with my existence
If you're refusing to work then you're bothering a whole lot of people, mainly whoever it is that you're leeching off of. Be it your parents or tax payers, get a job you fucking cunt.

>>677592086
Solution? Get your tits out on the internet make new friends.
And by friends I mean autists.

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>>677588129

>>677590794
I have no interest in sex. I don't want to be friends with the people I work with and I know I'm smarter because it keeps getting proven day in and day out because every single day it's the same drama that they get themselves into. I looked up edgelord since I'm not certain what that was and I don't fit any of those examples. Is that just a random insult?

>>677591110
I think that confirms it's just a random insult when you have nothing else to say.

>>677591027
This is me, is this you?

>>677586546
im not a social outcast

>>677592464
>look how random and crazy i am

>>677592086
Become a slut/fuckbuddy. Might as well at that point provided you're not exceptionally ugly or fat.

>>677592679
I guess you missed the second part of my post where I stated that I spend all the time I'm not working on my PC. My life is work, vidya, sleep.

>>677592719
Lol. I look pretty average imo. A lot of my friends and shit think I am pretty but meh. I don't think I am hot enough to gain a huge following given all the competition. I'd probably be around a 7/10.

>>677592841
Eh. I have a boyfriend (somehow). I guess he is a bit of an autist too. I lucked out getting one so I am not going to fuck it up by acting like a bitch and cheating on him.

I have been able to get sex alright in the past, but relationships? That's hard. Convincing a man to fuck you is much easier than convincing him to date you. Plus while I have a boyfriend, I find it hard making friends and keeping them. So sex can only get you so far.

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>>677586546
My heroin addiction. I used to be very outgoing. Loved to be around friends. I was a kick ass skateboarder and musician. I used to travel the U.S.A. With a few friends and play banjo in different cities for money. But my addiction got so bad that I can't leave the house unless I have at least a brick because not only do I feel like I should be on my death bed, but also because of my shame. Pic related, after realizing I had been shooting up in a public restroom, documenting my shame

BECAUSE I AM UGLY

i want to be social though :(

>>677593277
What I meant was right now. Right here. This thread. This moment.

I'm not really an outcast, since my hobbies are very social (RC flying and shooting).

But I'd kinda prefer to be. I'm a loner but I force myself to be friendly. Very introverted and prefer to do most things alone.

>>677593530
Hahaha nah. Taken. Plus dudes who want to see my tits aren't exactly "friends". I thought the whole tits or gtfo thing was only a thing when I was like 16? (7 years ago)

Man. Times have changed.

>>677593277

Oh teehee I'm only a 7/10

fuck off you're a 3/10 at best you fucking cunt

>>677593277
Yes, do what >>677593530 said. Make us giant piles of human shit feel a bit better by showing some boobage.

>>677589059
That's exactly how I feel not only is the typical get to know you conversation boring I don't usually joke around with people for the fear of pushing buttons. I also tend to push friends away after a while because I feel like if I get too attached to my friends they'll end up forgetting about me anyways and it makes it easier for me to deal with the sorrow.

>>677593713
Eh, probably true. I don't really give a fuck.

>>677593714
Bruh, you can see beautiful tits on tumblr. It is basically the only thing tumblr is good for.

>>677586546
ADHD

>>677593713
lmao.

yeah 7/10 girls are considered 'hot' on a night out

>>677593878

Poor me, you're probably right, teeheehee! I'm just a little ol' ugly waiting for a white knight to beg to see my wittle titties

again, fuck off

If I'm out in public by myself I usually don't smile or anything. I have a constant scowl going on

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>>677586546
probably because I think like 4chan, the only place I make contact with

be me, 12 years old
>get bullied everyday
>have no real friends except sister
>she is 10
>she loves video games
>I was never really into video games
>she asks me to play Mario kart
>I say yes
>Sit in comfy chair next to tv
>sister sits on my lap
>for a 10 year old, she had a nice body
>datass.jpeg
>as she is on my lap my dick starts to get hard
>10 minutes into Mario kart and I have fully hard boner
>she adjusts and grinds her ass onto my dick
>feelsgood.jpeg
>I subtly start rubbing my dick with my controller
>do this for about 5 minutes
>she adjusts again and I have no self control of my orgasm
>I cum all in my pants
>She gets up and runs out of room, closing door behind her
>shit she's gonna tell dad
>I can hear him yelling
>I hear sister crying
>dad is about to bust down the door
>I realize my punishment is inevitable
>open the door
>get on the floor
>everybody do the dinosaur

>>677593930
Maybe I meant 6/10? I dunno. I would say average. I have no intention of showing tits so I don't know what everyone is on about. Meh. Maybe I will just go back to lurking. I think mentioning being a woman is a mistake here because it just sounds like GOTIS.

>>677594111
You again..

>>677594187
Everyone on the internet is a man, unless timestamped tits prove otherwise.

>>677594187
Tits, please.

>>677594225
Kek I migrated threads to share my wonderful story of incest

I'm too attractive for ugly people and too ugly for attractive people. So I don't really fit in to either group and I definitely cant go up to anyone attractive and when I go up to ugly/unattractive people I feel like they think I'm either messing with them or think I'm weird or something else

>>677594276
Haha yeah I guess you caught me. I am a man. I'll go back to lurking now.

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>>677594343
Ooh boy... It's really 4:10 now.. Fuck i need sleep, welp gnight baters..

I've never been very talkative, but I can hold a conversation when somebody actually takes an interest in talking to me. I was in special education since kindergarden due to not talking much and having a tendency to stray off from the group and general unwillingness to socialize. Needless to say being put in a class with only five people three of which being retards who only communicate via incoherent yelling didn't help the situation.

>>677586546
"High-functioning" autism, untreated depression, crippling self-hatred, lack of motivation, anarchist in a right-leaning country, undoing the lies of my Catholic upbringing, and a lot of other demons I have to battle

>>677588271
its autism isnt it, i could tell just from the 2 sentences you wrote

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If this doesn't make me an introvert then I don't know what does.
>be me
>be 17 years old sophomore in high school
>have only 3 friends, two are fat guys, the other is a chubby girl named amy
>get invited to amys house
>as I walk in her house I am immediately greeted with the smell of shit
>ignore it
>her mother greets me and says she made us some pizza rolls
>eat pizza rolls with amy and her mom in awkward silence for about 5 minutes
>Three pizza rolls left
>I go to grab one when Amy grabs the plate
>she gobbles all three pizza rolls and licks the plate clean
>her mother gives her a very angry look
>her mother yells "AMY HOW COULD YOU! GO BUY MORE PIZZA ROLLS FOR ANON"
>Suddenly I notice my girlfriend has changed
>she has turned into a 40 feet lockness monster
>she says "WELL IMMA NEED TREE FITTY"
>her mother yells "WELL I AIN'T GIVIN YOU NO TREE FITTY"
>mfw amy ate her mom

>>677593411
get rid of your weird ass side burns and then you look better than 97% of /b/. youre not ugly. go to rehab and get your life on track, you can still make something out of it. but most importantly leave 4chan for a while. when you come back you will feel much better and realize what a shithole this is

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because im fucking weird and i have anxiety

im actually not introvert, but once people get to know me they realize what an obnoxious asshole i am. ive had SO many opportunities to get with girls or chances at relationships, but i fucked it all. im on a trial run right now to see if i can at least make a decent career and bang hookers and shit, and if that doesnt work out ill crash my fucking motorcycle head on into a wall at top speed.

>>677595050
God damn Loch Ness Monster. Pulling fast ones all over the place.

>>677595161
I dont wear those sideburns as a style. Hair just grows faster on that part of my face. Plus the angle. Anyways. I shouldn't feel this old at 24. I cant afford rehab. Even if I did have the money, id have already spent it on dope. Suicide often crosses my mind if I think I wont be able to get my fix that day. Heroin is like a spiteful bitch of a girlfriend that you cant help but love. She makes you feel like a god when she's with you, but when she's not around, or you try going without her, she will make your life a living fuckin hell. I cant even get out of bed without it in the morning. And if i don't have it, i cant sleep for days even with the strongest sedatives and sleep aids on the market. The restless leg syndrome gets so bad, i have considered cutting them off with a chainsaw. That's how you reason on deep, deep withdrawal. You cant think of the future. All that matters is right now.

>>677596339
then contact family or friends. someone thats strong enough to pull through detox with you. go into debt for rehab, do something. if you dont get off this shit, youre so fucked you have no idea.

>>677586546
I can't really seem to care about people. Like, I don't bond with anyone. I don't know how to describe it; any conversation I have with anyone seems like shallow small talk, even if they're talking to me about how their mother just died days ago or whatever. I just can't hold a conversation. It makes me want to rip my hair out having to talk to people.
I want friends, I really do, but I just can't connect.
Does that make me a narcissist?

>>677596747
Everyone has abandoned me. I dont blame them though. My only "friends" are my heroin dealers, and fellow junkies. And I do have an idea. Its been about two, maybe three years. I do have one person. My girlfriend. I blame myself for her addiction too. In reality, it is mostly my fault. I'd give my life to take it back though. She doesn't deserve to go through this shit. She's such a good person. I just can't believe it... Anyways, op, that's what makes me a social outcast. Just thought id share my story and get it off my chest. I cant imagine hell being any worse than what I'm going through, I know pain is subjective but this has been my worst nightmare since I was a child. And here I am. If I have anything to declare after this, its "stay the fuck away". Please. It may not seem like your worst nightmare, but I you choose to start, that'll change.

>>677588159
the secret is everyone is a bad person and "good" people are the ones who make an effort to compensate for it and don' t judge other people. Good friends understand the bad aspects of each other's personalities and have figured out how to put up with each other. Learning how to be a better person and learning how to deal with people is something you learn by getting out there and being around people, either through school or work or whatever. Pay attention to people, learn what makes them likeable or dislikeable and apply it to yourself. Drinking and smoking weed SOCIALLY helps a lot. Don't become some loser addict that sits by themself chasing a high. Best people to hang out with are the ones who understand themselves, because we all have personality defects and we usually don't realize they're there. If you think having poor social skills is your defect you're just feeling sorry for yourself, you need to dig deeper. If you find when you say or do certain things it rubs most people the wrong way stop and think why that might be. Be wary of jerks who'll drag you down, but if you think most people you meet are jerks then you're actually the jerk. There's no wrong way to bring people into your life, you just have to make an effort to get out there and be around people. Then you have to make an effort to learn from them and learn about yourself.

>>677588337
sounds like an excuse. If you're that smart then you can compensate for your lack of social instincts. Socializing is 90% skills you learn anyways.

>>677586546

I don't know. I wouldn't necessarily call myself an introvert by nature, rather I choose to be one. I have some friends, I socialize, I've dated in the past, I've struct up conversations with people numerous times. But in general nowadays I keep to myself. It's hard to meet people I enjoy being around. I've become a bitter, cynical, misanthropic depressed piece of shit. People are just too clueless in regards to politics and the way the world works. Thanks /pol/ you fucking assholes.

>>677588485
Do this and then kill everyone that ever fucked with you.
Revenge is beautiful.

>>677597707

struck*

I like to talk to people, but i cant start a conversation if my life depends on it.

That and general akwardnes i think.

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>>677594838

>>677588485
He can't, he's a homo.

I can't seem to socialize with anyone when I'm out in public

>>677586546
depression anxiety and apathy. I don't remember how to feel a desire for relationships anymore. I want to die.

>>677597362
fuck. this former foster kid my family took care of is a drug addict and we were his life line basically. Took him in when he had no where to go but we couldn't keep him in line and had to kick him out. It something knowing you probably just killed someone by kicking them out of your life but fuck I can only handle so many drunken tantrums and stolen shit. You learn what kind of person you are when you're faced with the choice to help someone with real problems. Good luck with your life, but it's up to you to fix it. Fuck man I don't know what to say.

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both my parents being introverts

i've accepted my fate, can you accept yours?

Have to act like a Chad to actually socialize with people, and half the time they hate either one, can't be the quite guy, can't be Chad. What should I do?

>>677598357
No need to say anything. This isn't a "feel sorry for me, I crave attention!" Thing. Just sharing what I'm going through. If there's even a small chance I can prevent someone from ending up here, ill take it. Sorry to hear bout that by the way. Dealing with junkies you care about is almost just as hard as being one I'm sure.

>>677597707
you've got a shitty personality. Or it might be the depression. Whatever the case if you want people in your life you need to stop being so pretentious. Just because they're ignorant doesn't mean they're going out of their way to annoy you. If everyone makes you feel that way I don't know what to tell you other than we all have our annoying personality defects and part of life is learning to compensate for them and choosing when to put up with other people's.

>>677595363
personality disorders are basically incurable so you need identify your bad social habits and make a serious effort to bury them. Maybe you'll be able to change, having people who like to be around you helps.

I'm only an outcast when it comes to the female populace, don't really know how to have proper conversations with people, and have social anxiety. only reason i get away with it with males is because i'm pretty funny and use my dark humour constantly. But yeh , don't know what to talk about to girls as well.

>>677588622
ARe you afraid of rejection when you make a move? think about it this way: if you never make a move you will end up without her, if she rejects you, you will end up alone, too.
nothing to lose

>>677586546
I am great with people, often able to adapt to any kind of person. I never really had a problem talking to people, even though I like being alone for the most part.
If near a hood, I was always able to stay nigger enough to not be shot in the dick, and civilized enough everywhere else.
The only thing that currently makes me a social fuckup is that I am no loger motivated to do jack shit after my wife died of breast cancer.
I only go out for food and shit one day a week.

>>677597124
Same here, I keep thinking I should have some good friends or a girlfriend, but every time I get closer to someone, I just get bored of their shit in a matter of weeks and lose contact.

>>677600368
They just don't have a great impact in your life whatsoever.
You will know the momment someone makes enough impact to be interested in them long term.

>>677586546
>tonight I had the absolute intention of cheating on my wife
>the plan was go to a bar downtown(wife is in a different state) find a random slut and persuade her to my hotel room for which I am paying 370 for one night to portray successfulness.....

>>677600566
>I go to a bar, but the sluts seem way too into their own group to notice me.
>I have a drink and try to strike up some conversation but they're preoccupied

>>677598316
you do drugs?

>>677598184
do it anyways, you'll feel your way through. Social anxiety is something you get over by learning there's nothing to fear from awkward situations.

>>677598897
I doubt it's as bad. I can't kick a drug addiction to the curb. It's one thing to have to deal with a shitty person but it's way worse to be the shitty person. There's not much worse than realizing you can't stop driving people out of your life.

>>677599493
stop with the dark humor bullshit immediately, trying to be funny all the time is a crippling social crutch. Ask people how their day went, it will seem obvious and pathetic but it's a start. Be genuine and try not to worry about slipping up and try to find common ground. The more you do it the better you'll get. All you need to do at this point is try to actually talk to people. You'll embarrass yourself sometimes but you don't need to fear that.

>>677600735
>I decide to leave the bar and go to the nearest ABC and buy 2 40s
>I return to my hotel and notice there is a club inside my hotels lobby beautiful girls everywhere

>>677600897
>I drop off my things and venture into this club.
>not two steps in and I've gotten dirty looks from just about everyone, I am WAY underdressed
>but that doesn't stop one young Asian woman from eye fucking me

i honestly cant afford to be social. To be social you need to have some money to go out. A descent place to bring people over. And some clothes that are kind of good. All these little things i lack so i cant be social. Imagine going out with friends and dont have some money to hang out and have fun. heyy lets come over your place.... yeah ... fuck my life

>>677601021
>she approaches me and asks why I am dressed this way(black shorts and RVCA shirt)
>I tell her the way I dress is for comfort
>she likes my response and proceeds to tell me how uncomfortable she is dressed the way she is.

>>677601170
>things are going well, she's flirting and touching my hands while we both laugh at drunken women stumbling out

>>677601064
You honestly don't need much as long as your place isn't infested with shit and garbage, or you are not a hobo.
Sure, you need some money to go out places, but nothing is preventing you to just go working out with a friend to a park or just walk around somewhere. If you plan on working out a lot, clothes won't matter much to begin with.

My stammer

>>677601279
>about 130 dollars later from drinks and shots only between the two of us.
>she is now on my lap.

>>677600887
only whats prescribed. my anti depressants (not currently prescribed because to expensive but had them prescribed before) are on the way from overseas I just need to hang on a few more weeks.

>>677601392
>as I close my tab I take her hand and pull her close, ready to take her to my room and make her moan....

>>677600887
Thanks anon,
that actually seems like pretty good advice.
Could today be the day /b/ actually changed my life? Inb4 "no fag" "kys"

>>677601525
>a large man steps toward me and asks me
>did she have a good time?
>I reply I think she did, who are you?

>>677601632
>he replies who the fuck do you think?
>oh and thanks for showing her a good time

>>677601632
im ur daddy wan sum fuk boi?

>>677601311
Thank you anon. Your my fucking /b/ro!

People seem to like me but I push them away because reasons

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>>677601734
>now I'm here
>500 down the drain

>>677592800
You don't seem intelligent at all. You seem about average. Maybe a little bit below to be honest. For some reason everyone on here thinks they're genius. Is it because your parents never stopped talking about how smart you are, because they're a little slow themselves and couldn't handle basic Jr. High practice sheets?

>>677600088
fuck. i can dish out advice for kids who know nothing but when someone like you comes along with real problems I got nothing. That's some heavy shit.

>>677597124
that's a tough one. I wouldn't say you're a narcissist, I'd say you have some mental preoccupation that makes you feel like people are talking down to you or not being genuine or something. The truth is most conversations are bullshit small talk and people realize this but they enjoy it anyways. Having an actual connection is rare.

>>677600368
that usually happens, no relationship stays fresh. It all becomes effort in the end. As you get older and your problems build up just having the same old conversation with someone you don't hate feels good.

>>677587481
kill em´all

>>677600088
How long ago did she die?

>>677588129
your dad probably gave you 1 million too

>>677602023
I been told that a lot recently.
>>677602168
6 months ago.

i can't stand up to sharpen my pencil because i don't want anyone to stare at me

>>677602266
Why would you need to stand up to sharpen a pencil?

>>677586546
ITT: faggots complaining about problems of them selves they´re projecting on other people.fuck off

In every attempt to make friends throughout my childhood, I failed to make any friends.
I was depressed and thought, "why keep trying something that isnt working?"
So I decided to have no friends at all.

>>677602330
pencil sharpeners are generally on the wall somewhere around the room in school

>>677602765
You might be putting too much effort into it. Friends often just happen when you meet someone with enough similar interests and stick to them from time to time. You don't have to talk to someone every day in order for him/her to be your friend.
Even people who you only talk to online could be considered friends, you could even plan on meeting them eventually.
I would recommend you to either find people with similar interests online, or go out to places that you like, you are bound to find someone with similar interests there.
You might think you are better of alone, but eventually you will need a friend to back you up when something eventually happens.

A general hate for most people

>>677603036
Stop spending so much time in the internet.

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this has been a really good introvert thread.
sucks to see must of us introverts just feel sorry for ourselves, but it's very much an extrovert world at the moment

>>677603387
With the internet getting stronger and stronger the more time goes by I wouldn't say it is exactly an extrovert world. Sure, we will always have some sort of advantage but introverts can now live a decent life in computer related jobs and meet people online.
The only thing introverts seem to lack in my opinion is good motivation to go out with their friends. Making friends is really not that difficult, specially when dealing with other introverts.

>>677602238
that darkly ironic. I was responsible for the death of a baby i was taking care of years ago. Not trying to one-up you. I know what it's like to deal with tragedy. The only thing for it is time and being around loved ones. I know I didn't feel like being around anyone but I was lucky that my mom hounded me and forced me to go out and do stuff with her. I'm sure I acted like i hated it but it's probably the reason i didn't kill myself. You'll feel better eventually.

>>677601432
You got clinical depression? There can be a lot of causes for that. I'd recommend therapy but I'm guessing you can't afford it, you sound like you need help though. I don't know what your issues are but prescription drugs are a bandage not a cure. If they help you get better good but they won't solve underlying issues.

>>677602238
It's impossible not to get stuck like that if you're an introvert. I know a guy in a similar situation and he happened to find a woman who dragged him out of it.
ofc it's only been 6 months. So waay to early for that. Do you go to a psychiatrist ?

>>677601064
if your friends actually give you a hard time because you're poor than they aren't friends. More likely I'd say you're wallowing in self pity. You don't need money to have fun with friends. I'm sure you can think of something.

>>677603757
I have psychotic depression. I was in therapy for a few years but I can't afford it anymore. It would be nice. I'm actually doing pretty well most of the time. Sometimes if I think for to long I start to feel this again. Someday it'd be nice to resolve it all so I can think about my life without wanting to die. Until then I just need to stay busy. Thank you for talking with me. It's always nice to be heard.

>>677603967
Yes, I frequent a psychiatrist about 2 times a month. Besides basic advice and copious ammounts of prozac, he hasn't helped much.
I been considered dating and the like just as a way to pass time, but I tend to loose interest way too quickly.

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>>677592800
Guys in a genius way smarter than everyone!

>can't get job
>gets shit job and doesn't take better position
>doesn't know what an edgelord is

>>677604126
hopefully you're getting better. I know what depression is like, mine had very obvious causes that I've dealt with but it seems like you'll have more trouble. It sounds like you're on the right track at least. Maybe all you need is something to give your life meaning.

>>677604254
for the longest time of going to a psychiatrist I didn't feel any progress in terms of getting better. And a shit psychiatrist can turn out to be wasted time, make you even more angry / sad and also just cost a lot of money.
But keep going to 1 and eventually it will go places

>>677602945
We all feel your pain, anon.

There should be a national day of mourning to commemorate your sacrifice.

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>>677598111
kek

I have realized that the only time I feel sane and not like an utter outcast is when I'm at home on the computer or at a few specific friends. Having a job just feels like an utter pointless drain. All the things I could spend hours doing that I enjoy wouldn't get me paid, and the one or two things I enjoy doing that I could get paid for require breaking into industries that won't have jobs for me until someone keels over, and the one thing I'm good at that I could get paid for I hate and find tedius and boring to the point of tears. I can't even do factory work without wanting to just curl up in a ball and hide until the end of the shift, even if I wasn't in pain from being out of shape.

Every time I try to make myself a functional part of society it feels like something is about to go wrong all the way up until either I get let go in some way, or something does go horrifically wrong, and it just seems to be a perpetuating cycle I can't break.

>>677604668
I know there are reasons that could have caused it from my past. But I feel it's grown into something that can't go away with just resolving those issues. Into a permanent disability (the psychosis) that I will just have to learn how to stay in control of. And I think I can do that.

>>677604668
I'm glad you've been able to deal with yours, does it go away forever?

>>677602015
He doesn't seem slow, you're just buttflustered that he's a self-absorbed dickhead and you can't express why that bothers you so much adequately.

>>677586546
not liking ppl

>>677586546
separation anxiety.
everytime I feel like I'm becoming close to someone I feel the need to push them away so that it hurts less when they leave.

>>677607126
Who left you?

>>677586546
i apparently swear too fucking much. what a bunch of faggots.

>>677605374
I was depressed because of health issues which I resolved and because I was smoking weed which made me more susceptible to depression. Quitting weed made a big difference. The thing about depression at least if it's caused by you being unhappy with your life is you need to identify what's making you unhappy and change it, obviously easier said than done. If you're mentally unbalanced and that's making you depressed though that's something you need to learn to cope with. I'm no psychiatrist but I imagine not letting it rule your life is an important step to getting better. As for going away forever, the feeling is always there and you need to stay in control or you can slip back in. Dark thoughts and depressing realities don't just go away.

>>677605316
I've had mental issues my whole life, troubled childhood and severe anxiety issues growing up. I know what you mean. Being in control at least removes it's stranglehold and I imagine that helps a lot.

Good night folks.

>>677601941
>drinking corona
Well, buddy I might have found the main issue here. Yer a fucboi

parents got divorced. didnt see my dad for over a year. shit really fucked me up.

>>677596339
>I dont wear those sideburns as a style
>Hair just grows faster on that part of my face
max kek, holy shit. i was just thinking that those sideburns looked kinda trashy and then you go and paraphrase a line straight from Joe Dirt when they ask him about his trashy sideburns. good stuff, anon.

>>677587952
obviously not your spelling

>>677597433
deep anon

>>677586546
I'm a long haired faggot who cannot keep a conversation going for the life of me, I haven't had a girlfriend in about 4 years because I'm probably the ugliest guy in my school and I just make fucking meme jokes all day. Fuck

>>677604518
I do have a job. Job isn't too shit, just don't like dealing with people. Apologies I'm not familiar with your dank memes because I don't come to /b/ often.

>>677602015
I've been subjected to an IQ test on four separate occasions and every single time I've scored beyond genius level.

>>677605703
...Maybe I am self absorbed. I never thought about it before but it's given me something to think on. There's only been three things in life I've wanted to do. First was become a doctor to help people, which eventually branched out to a surgeon. Second was become a programmer just because it was an interesting field. Third was become a youtuber because it looked fun.

The first two flopped. The only nearby college just has a general nursing home program that won't help me and the second option only has general computer classes like Intro to Excel, Into to Comp, etc. Honestly technology around here is kind of looked down on since it's a very old style place. My third option is just me being lazy and not buying a camera. But I'm saving money and studying Java on the side before I go to C and C#. Once I save up I'm leaving this town. I've got a better job lined up for me once I can secure living arrangements.

Still, never thought I was a self absorbed dick before. Gives me something to reflect on.

>>677590169
No they don't. That is the literal definition of a real friend.

>>677607205
I assume you're taking the piss but it's also true. If you do genuinely get told you swear too often, listen to what you're being told. It's hard to express a reason why, but people that swear every other word in just normal conversation are seriously annoying. Swear when it's necessary not just because you think it's cool, obviously there's nothing wrong with doing it in every day conversation but there's a limit before it becomes tiring to listen to.

Source: Someone I know does it and it gets hard to listen and respond to.

>>677588008
Join a club, even if it's out of your comfort zone.. I'm in my third year and I'm still not decent at talking to new people, but I joined clubs anyways and I'm finally making friends.