When should I hold them?

When should I fold them?

When should I walk away?

When should I run?

Should I count my money while I'm at the table?

>>677251093
do you have any sevens

>>677251290
When you have the best cards

When you have the worst cards, most of the time.

At the end of playing.

In extreme circumstances or at the gym.

Most definitely, yes.

>>677251364
go fish

Whats your opinion on jason sommerville

>>677251290
Legend.

>>677251093
Never played. Is it easy to learn?

Is it easy to make money from? I went to vegas a couple months ago and turned $5 into $70 on just blackjack. Granted, it was all luck, but id like to know more of poker

>>677251093
what makes you professional ?

>>677251622
Seems like a cool guy, don't know him personally. His twitch shows are good and entertaining from what I've seen. He's professional and respectful which is the most important thing for these "poker ambassadors" imo

>>677251487
lol, tard
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jj4nJ1YEAp4

>>677251093
I've always been very good at poker due to patience, reading people and bullshitting

What should I do to get into it properly?

Also, I'm going to Last Vegas near the end of the year. What steps should I take to ensure maximum profit while I'm over there? I'm thinking that tourists would be the best people to play against, because most will suck/think they're good but actually suck (the irony of this isn't lost on me)

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Is it gay to suck a girl's dick after she's done sucking yours?

>>677251487

Thanks for the ace, anon.

>>677251777
Yeah very easy to learn the rules. Getting from knowing the rules to competent to good is a different story though.

It depends what games you play. In a low stakes home game amongst friends or a low stakes game in a casino, it's not too difficult to reach a level where you'd be a favourite in these games.

>>677252043
It always is

>>677252043
source

in a world where all professional poker players are not dumbasses, read people equally well and know when to fold and when not to, what gives you an edge? That is, in a world where everyone knows the best strategies, how is your "sport" any different from gambling?

>>677251869
good question even if you are trolling. I suppose I consider myself a professional because it is my sole source of income and I have no other "job". The old saying however is "What do all pro poker players have in common? They're all unemployed".

>>677252008
ya I got it, it's not too difficult a joke to grasp.

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>>677252574
I'm not trolling. What blinds do you play? Where do you play (private games, tournaments or online) ? Do you have any tells in opponents in live games which you like ?

>>677252010
it depends what level you are at. Reading some good basic poker books or some good articles would be a good start. The trouble is, a lot of poker books are crap and a lot of articles are rubbish. Some of the better books I read when starting out were Harrington on Hold Em, Phil Gordon's Little Green Book and The Theory of Poker. Some of the stuff may be outdated in those books, but fundamentals will always be fundamentals so you could do worse than digesting the info in those.

For Vegas, yeah playing with drunk tourists is a good idea, but bear in mind, you won't be the only person thinking this. My advice would be to play simple and don't over complicate things. "Fancy play" syndrome is something that catches a lot of guys starting out as they want to show what a good player they are.

>>677252043
yeah, it's only gay if you're taking it, not sure how that works with blowjobs though. Only gay if you're giving it I guess...

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>>677252464
>people equally well and know when to fold and when not to

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha this couldn't be farther from the real world. I've been playing poker for 15 years (i'm not OP), I've yet to see improvement in fishes. 99% of players you encounter barely have any idea of probability and hand strenght or would be able to understand why they played a hand badly.

They constantly blame everything but themselves, which prevents them from ever improving.

>>677252182
no problem, you can keep it.

>tfw play poker as well

>>677253148
Thanks for the info. Will get on those books.

And yeah, you make a good point with the playing it simple. Even at the low level I've played at, I've watched people overthink themselves into a corner when anybody with eyes would know I was bluffing. My general tactic is to let people walk into their own bad hands, but this is probably harder when you're playing with a better quality of opponent.

I have another question actually - how much do you talk at the table? And what kind of chat do you prefer? Shittalking? Jokes? Subtle questions to get them unsettled?

>>677251093

Have you ever seen somebody get caught cheating? If so, what happened to them?

>>677252464
Poker is getting tougher and moving towards that point, but it's still a million away from being true in practice. Being GTO (game theory optimal) is the new buzz word in poker, but even the best players in the world play far from a GTO style and (in theory) do lots of exploitable things when playing. If in theory poker reaches that stage, then I guess new, more complicated and not as easily solved types of poker games will come about. For example, they say that heads up limit hold em is "solved" but 6-max pot limit omaha is no where close to being solved.

>>677252990
I mainly play €2/5 or €5/10, often with straddles. I've played various games and formats, but my main game right now would be live cash games. Tells are often player specific and it's important to correlate a tell with an action (e.g. one player doing a certain thing may mean a strong hand for that player, but another player doing the same thing may mean a weak hand). One of my favourite live tells to look out for is heavy breathing. Their eyes, mouth, hands, body may all seem calm, but if you look at their chest you can see they breathing heavier than normal. This doesn't necessarily mean they are strong or are bluffing, it does mean their heart rate is higher than normal though. Often this is because they're bluffing, but sometimes people get excited when they have a really good hand because they're excited about all the money they are going to win. Noticing these tells is part one, then determining what each tell actually means is part two. Using this info in future hands is part three.

>>677254881
Thanks for your answer. New question : how would you interprete the following scenario ?

You are in a live cash game, you have AJ at the button, let's say you raised it and got called.

Flop comes J, 8, 3. Two hearts. Opponent checks.

You (presumably) bet (80% of the pot) because there's a straight and flush draw possible.

Your opponent hesitates and asks you how much you have left behind you. You know he's a good, solid player. What can you infer from his question?

>>677251506
i thought it was goldfish

>>677251093
Straddles actually annoy me if utilized at a local/club game as the fags that straddle don't understand the strategy and they just want to act like they understand the game.
Last home game I went to a guy actually called a fucking time clock. None of use expected it and obviously we never invited him back.

>>677254155
when not in a hand, I think it's important to talk to keep the game fun and enjoyable. Nothing more boring than sitting around a table with everyone being silent. When in a hand, only talk if you're comfortable doing it, as a general rule of thumb, I'd recommend for less experienced players not to talk during a hand. I feel comfortable talking during a hand and my feel my 'table talk' game is strong. It's definitely more of an art than a science and it's tough to describe what makes good table talk during a hand. I think it's all about knowing (guessing) how your opponent will interpret what you say. It's all well and good saying one thing but your opponent has to analyze what you say in the right way (everyone is second guessing everything that is said during a hand). Shittalk, jokes, subtle questions can all work at different times, depends on the player and situation. I think the skill is knowing when to use one of these, or when not to talk at all!

>>677255829
what's the strategy for a straddle ?

>>677255943
Two chances to act, it bewilders new players, benefits action hungry players

>>677251093
do you not smoke?

>>677256360
you're describing the straddle but you're not answering my question.

>>677254156
I guess stealing might be a more accurate description than cheating. I've never seen a situation with marked cards, guys dealing off the bottom of the deck etc (that I know off anyway, rare possibility I've been cheated without knowing it). I've seen plenty of situations of angle shooting though (which is the grey area between cheating and gamesmanship) if you want to hear any stories like that.

I had one incident recently where a guy basically stole a stack of chips from a player not at the table. Long story short, I made a bet and a guy counted up all his chips and shoved them into the pot. As he was shoving them in he managed to get the other guys chips (the other guy literally only had about 3 chips in his stack) and shove them in with his own without the dealer noticing. The game was at a festival in a hotel so unusually there were no cameras. There was no proof even though it was pretty clear what had happened so the guy got away with it.

There was another incident where a dealer was stealing chips and was found out in quite a comical way. At the end of a game, a player went up to thank the dealer just as he was leaving the table. He started shaking the dealer hands a little vigorously and all of a sudden black $100 chips started dropping everywhere coming from the dealer's sleeve!

>>677256360
and I don't understand why you have two chances. Two chances at what ? to what ?

>>677257008
You can utilize any of those factors to your advantage. You're just being a retard for the sake of being a retard.
An example strategy: you're an experienced player among amateurs. You straddle to mess with them, play the psychology card. Why is he doing this? What does it mean? I see I have KK but what if he has AA and doesn't even know it?

>>677257132
>dealer stealing chips

That's amazing - usually all dealers have to do this routine where they swipe their hands and open them, to show the sky cameras their hands are empty and they aren't stealing chips. If there were cameras there I'm impressed with that particular dealers slight of hand. Did you see how he was doing it with hundred chips?

>>677251093
are there any good online poker sites that are full of noobs?

>>677257259
Two chances to act.
You made the initial raise/straddle, you can then for the second time raise, call or fold depending on the action.

>>677255539
People ask that question so often it usually doesn't mean much. If he ended up calling, I'd probably infer that: he has a drawing a hand (so something like two hearts or T9) and he wants to know how much I have behind because he wants to know if he hits his hand, will he get a decent pay off. But as I said, I wouldn't read too much into this question as people ask it all the time.

>>677255829
>>677255943
straddles are basically there to create action (for those that don't know, a straddle is basically an additional optional 'blind' - so in a 10/20 game, the player first to act may put in 40 before looking at this cards and effectively becomes the third blind). They don't really change strategy too much, it basically just means you're playing in a bigger game and your stack is shallower relative to the blinds. I guess starting hand selection becomes more important because the deeper you are the more liberal your starting hands can be, but a straddle effectively means you're playing less deep.

>>677257530
OK, my conclusion as well.
>>677257388
>>677257499
OK, fair enough.

>>677256835
nope, one bad habit I've never taken up thankfully. I smoke weed occasionally but never smoke cigarettes.

>>677255539

That's pretty polarizing. I suppose it depends on the size of your raise and the aggro of the player who calls. Also if you raise on the button with no action, then the caller is on the blinds, so he's slightly more priced in. In the long run I think it's fair to assume on the whole that someone who shoves that soon to action on a flop like that, having called with a discount from the blinds, likely has some kind of a draw.

A very small amount of the time, he'll have Aces or Kings.

However I've been asked how much I have behind a lot, and the flop is predominantly when I'm asked it. Solid players do tend to ask that question on the flop simply to plan their strategy for the hand, and know the stack size they're up against. So sometimes it can literally be harmless, and they could be about to fold.

Not really an answer, but I think there's too much information missing from your example.

>>677257479
again, it would've been in a hotel so the cameras/security features wouldn't have quite been what they were in a casino. That said, this guy was so skillful and has such good sleight of hand, I think he could've gotten away with it even if there were cameras/eye in the sky. Also, he was getting the chips up his sleeve, so whoever was watching the camera would have to have noticed the actual lifting of the chip, and as I said he was so quick it really was tough to see even if you were paying close attention.

What he was doing was, he'd take a stack of 21 chips, count them out on the table (count them into 4 stacks of 5 as is standard) so it appeared to be a stack of 20, and get the other chip up his sleeve. He was so quick and so skillful no one ever noticed though. I only know this is how he did it because I was told by a floor person some time after the incident.

>>677251093
how are your highschool teachers?

>>677251869
he's won a couple low pot tables online.

>>677257486
short answer, no. The golden days of online poker are long gone. There's still money to be made at it if you're willing to work hard, but it's become so competitive and there's little incentives from poker sites anymore either (PokerStars have recently increased their rake to make it even tougher to make money online). That's why I've primarily moved to live games, online is just so tough these days.

>>677259246
i can only beat 2nl and maybe 5nl at poker stars, would i be good at real games?

>>677259119
they're good as far as I know. I ran into my old math teacher over Christmas and got talking to him.

>>677259474
I assume by real games you mean live games You definitely have a chance depending on what game you sit into. Some low stakes live games can be really soft and any half competent player would be a favourite in them.

>>677257914
>>677257907
not quite sure what the questions is about straddling here??

>>677259812
how do you find cash games i only ever see tournaments

>>677259005
ah so as he breaks the larger stack of 21 down into 4 piles, as he forms the last pile he flicks a chip from the bottom up his sleeve as he presents and fans the last stack of 5? That's incredible.

I suppose at least if he fucks up it doesn't immediately look suspicious, just like a rogue chip flicked off somewhere.

>>677252043
Here's the non-gay way:
1-let her suck yours first but don't cum
2-suck her dick
3-ket her suck again and cum
if you either giver her head first or after you cum you are a massive faggot and should be hanged

>>677260387
do you mean literally how to find cash games on the PokerStars client or do I generally find the differences between cash games and tournaments?

>>677251093

I tried pro poker after I finished my BA.

I actually did pretty well but I quit for a couple reasons.

>hours are shit
>you eat junk food and sit around getting fat
>mentally taxing grinding hours and hours (pro poker is not the same as playing with your buddies- it is not actually fun)
>hourly profit actually was about 37$ by the end of 6 months despite winning what I considered to be a disproportionate amount of small tournaments and 5-10$ cash games.

I make 60$ an hour working a normal job so it didn't make sense to continue

So in conclusion I feel like unless you are playing 10-25 blinds with 200,000$ bankroll and you don't mind the lifestyle then go ahead and try it.

So my questions for OP:

What is your bankroll?

What is your hourly profit on average?

>>677260397
yup pretty much. Yeah, as I said it was comical how he ended up getting caught. I've seen him do chip tricks etc and he really was incredible

>>677260684
i mean how do you find them irl, like is there a website or something to tell me where i can go to one

>>677255943

It is terrible idea in every conceivable way UNLESS you get a big pocket pair on your straddle.

So I never straddle because it is like paying 2 big blinds for no added benefit.

>>677260845
ya I agree with a lot of what you said. Hours are bad and it can be a tough lifestyle. Part of me kinda likes the lifestyle but it's not something I want to be doing the rest of my life. I have a bachelors degree but the stating salary for most jobs in my field would be less than €30k/yr (closer to like €22-26k I think). I feel I can make more than that playing poker and gambling winnings are tax free in my country also which is the massive bonus with being a poker player.

My hourly profit is in around €30/hr for cash games. My poker bankroll would be around €25,000 but wouldn't include external non-poker assets.

>>677251093
My favorite position to play is utg, am I crazy?

>>677260905
depends where you live. Most casinos offer poker nowadays. In the US, Vegas, LA, Florida, AC and I guess Foxwoods would be the big poker hotspots with 24/7 cash games, but I'd imagine pretty much all casinos have poker. For states without legal cardrooms/casinos, I'm sure there's safe underground games if you look hard enough.

>>677261633

I actually did something towards the end of my 6 month tenure as a "poker pro" which was hosting my own cash game at an apartment I rented.

I took half rake (1-3$ per pot) and would always have 1-2 tables running.

I would make about 200$ a day from rake and another 200$ average playing so that was pretty decent. But not sustainable long term both legally and otherwise.

>>677261793
it'd be tough to justify from a theoretical pov, that's for sure

>>677261933
yeah it's something I've considered. Tbh, if I could save up enough capital from playing, putting that money into opening up my own card club is definitely something that's in the back of my mind.

>>677261944
I get all the advantage. No-one ever consider the guy playing utg.

>>677262321

You are the reason why we play.

The low hanging fruit who doesn't understand post flop betting mechanics.