My friend died 3years +1day ago

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And I found out and thought it was an April fools joke

And nobody really cared except for his friends

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>>677201703

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Me right now. I want to die

>>677202054
APRIL FOOLS

i just went outside for the first time in 3 weeks
ends up pissing the people behind in a cash out line because i get disoriented and almost out of focus most of the time idk why help

I've been in a foster home for almost 5 years because my parents didn't want me.

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>>677201703

I came in the disc tray for my 360 three years ago.

im not ugly and not handsome at the same time
so im that super average guy no girl wants to go with

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>tfw you will never snuggle catie under a warm blanket in front of the fire place as it proceeds to snow out side

>>677203289
Fuck man, now I can't ever play VR. This is the same kinda shit that killed the Wii for me.

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This is the summary of my depressing life.

>>677203289
damn can't wait for these to come out
imagine this with your waifu + automatic flesh light

pls help me accept the fact that im ugly as shit and im gonna be a kissless virgin until i die

>>677201703
Jesus I remember that episode

>>677206644

>>677206598
I thought so too for many years.
Then I found the love of my life, perfect bliss for four years. I never thought it could be real. Then one day, Valentines Day, she says she's bored and moving on. Threw it all away to go fuck random guys at the bar. Now here I am drinking alone and browsing /b/, where I will be forever.

Its far better to never know love than to watch it slip away into nothing.

If feel like I'm the only one that has been somewhat traumatized by pussy. The first even was when a so big and bulgy it looked like a pair of balls. Second event was looking at pornbitches' puss and seeing most of them we're fuckd and very disgusting. In someway pussy has turned me off cause shit like this but I'm willing to fuck a bitch if she has a nice one which is rare. I know, pussy is pussy but fuck I didn't really realized both sexes had some fucked up genitals.

>inb4 op is a faggot

>>677207405
at least you got to experienced something i never will

>>677207405
I feel your pain /b/ro

>>677204305
Underage b&

im just sad, no reason to be sad i just am

>>677208053
At least you aren't a nigger

>>677207592
The pain of loneliness is far exceeded by the pain of loss. I would trade anything to go back to being a kissless virgin, knowing I destined to stay alone forever.

Now I know that even when one of us can find love, it's fleeting at best. And for one of us, when we do lose everything, the pain hits much harder than for the normal folks who experience love and loss throughout their life. I hate them all, smug assholes.

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>>677201703
I realized that the reason it's getting more difficult for my mom and I to talk, is because she's perpetually disappointed in me. I'm 27, don't own a business, haven't worked in a while (though have been looking), and apart from actually finishing Uni soon, doesn't look like (to her) that I have anything going for myself. I'm like a physical, living embodiment of all of her failures and shortcomings as a mother, and it pains her.

>>677208469
Jesus dude I feel so bad for you

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>>677209057
Worst part is, there's nothing I can do. I can't be the soldier she wanted because I already washed out of the military twice when I was younger; I can never reenlist. I could be a doctor, engineer, lawyer, or even the President, but it wouldn't be good enough for her. I can never give her the successful son she really wants, nor the type of son she deserves.

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bump

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FEEL MY PAIN.

>>677209282
Honestly? Fuck this shit. If she doesn't love you for who you are, I'm not sure she should be the one to judge.

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>>677210918
She says she 'loves' me, but I know it's more disappointment than anything else.

>>677210668
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN

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>>677211216
THESE WOUNDS, THEY WILL NOT HEAL!!

>>677201703
I'm 23 and still not married

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>>677211460
I'm 27 and still not married. In fact, I've been single since I was 16.

>>677211598
I've been single since I was 16 too.

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>>677211753
Believe me, it doesn't get better. I'm seeing people I went to middle and high school(s) with getting married, having kids, working in great careers, and living their lives to the fullest. Meanwhile, I'm still in college, trying to piece together what's left of my fragmented and uncertain future.

:((

>>677211947
I feel the same way. I haven't even been to college. I've been unemployed for two years..

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>>677212268
I haven't had a paying job since...

>2008

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I hardly talk to anyone, and that pains me. Everything I try to plan and accomplish is thrown to the wayside because I can't find anyone to go through with it with me. It's small things, too. Like hanging out. I gave up on a girl a few months that now is dating someone. I feel like it was my fault she was single for that time. Now she isn't and I feel like I fucked up by giving up. Then when I moved on I started dating a girl that told me after we broke up on Valentines Day that she never liked me.

I'm lonely and depressed, if my parents die before I graduate college I don't think I'll be okay. They're the only two people I talk to on a regular basis. I miss my friends, but they're long gone with jobs, relationships, and new friends. God dammit I wish I could just live a normal life. I've tried just thinking I was happy and lied to myself over and over, and that worked for a while, but now I've gotten to the point where I don't believe myself. I don't believe anything I do is gonna be worth it. I doubt I'll ever find love, either. It'll be all worth it I hope if I do, though.

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Here's one feel of two feels

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My first time cutting but when I did it it felt way better almost like a time when I was younger and anything i did didn't matter but than it stopped bleeding and the feeling came back the memories of her came back and by her I mean, the girl that had my everything but than she lost her child and she took her life also every since then this was the one way to get my feelings to disappear

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>>677212795

Here is the second feel, foretold by the first

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>>677212859
I used to self-harm too, way back in '05. My parents sent me to a psych ward for 2.5 days as a result.

The scars may 'heal,' but the memories burn fresh in our minds. I hope you feel better, Anon.

>>677203458
I thought so
Nig

>>677205900
That's not funny you should just jump off a bridge melodramatic fag

>>677207937
Fuck off, you nigger.

Shit job. Still live with parents. No prospects for a better job. Too many bills. Feel stuck in a small town. Girlfriend broke up with me. I hate her but I hate that I have to feel that way, she cheated on me so there's that. Life is spiraling into nowhere.

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>>677213895
Mother of god, I'm a fucking Mexican!

>>677214110
No sir, you're anonymous

>>677213079
When people tell me it's a state or mind and they go anyway the truth is they don't and isn't you just learn to live with them

Anon your words give me a since of hope that maybe I'm wrong

>>677214212
Was.

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>>677214265
I hate when people act like they know all the answers, and downplay your experience.

>>677213895
Edgy teenage b&

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>>677211022

>>677202292
When I was in 5th grade I got off the school bus to go home, was walking up the drive way and was greeted by my parents. They told me my grandfather died, I laughed at first because I thought it was a joke.

It wasn't April 1st, that was just the first time someone I knew died

>laying in bed at night
>thinking of all the girls I'm currently trying to bang
>rejection upon rejection
>see my self 30 years from now alone
>crushing sadness

>>677208731
http://waitbutwhy.com/

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>>677214547
Well in life people don't like people who are weak who are broken that's why I learned to smile not because I wanted to smile but because people want a smile

>>677214848
My grandpa is so awesome I can't even consider losing him

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>>677215846
I no longer smile in public.

>22
>still haven't found love
>tfw I never felt the sweet tight body of a 14 year old slut
>never felt young love
>regretting every anti social decision I ever had
>how do I become more social

>>677204894
Start lifting and take care of yourself you underage piece of shit

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I feel that my 'best days' and highest amount of friends/potential lovers I'll ever have are all behind me.

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>>677216033
Well trust me you will smile again even if it's to do something to forget it all

>>677207405
What are ya drinking bro? What do you use to drown the pain?

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>>677217224
That pic made me laugh, mostly because I love Archer and read it in his voice.

Maybe I should start drinking.

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You've just got to do it for yourselves.
I've accepted the fact I'll never be normal or in love. So fuck it, I spend my time working, reading and hanging out with the one friend I really have. My home life is fucked. I cant communicate my emotions to people, especially girls, I just put up the barriers and ignore everything, even to girls I really like that I know like me too, I don't get it, I just can't tell people how I feel. I'm violent, I snap and destroy shit I care about.
I just want to make enough money and leave for ever, just fucking go somewhere and do something interesting with this short life of trouble we've all been dropped into.

You've just got to do it for yourself.

>>677217351
Ketamine

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>>677216033
y anon?

>>677211947
What are you studying for anon?

>>677211598
28 over here. i want a wife but scared of comitment and i have no self esteem.fag who lives with his mom.

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>>677201703

>>677216038
Im about to turn 22 and havent had a real bitch in ages just a ugly as fuck, fuckbuddy which im trying to get away from

>>677217511
I have been a closet alcoholic for a awhile

I'm not saying do it but it's something to look forward to at the end of the day when if you (I do) literally have nothing to look forward to

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>>677217762
I just can't any more. I'm like a ghost everywhere I go anyway, and the few people who can see me usually treat me like dirt anyway. From classmates, to retail workers with their fake smiles and "welcome to xx today, can I help you with anything?," to even the few family members who still know I exist. I just can't any more.

>>677217832
Political Science and Asian Studies. Never was smart enough for Computer Science, and my initial dreams of living and working in Japan starting this year have been crushed (I was rejected by JET). So now, I'm just aimlessly going through school. I plan on working some crappy office job for 5 years after graduation (which should be in December), and then simply ending myself.

This may sound gay to some of you anons, but I frankly don't give a rats ass.

I wish you all the best with your troubles, from the small shit like an aggravating day at work/school, to the big stuff like a bad break up. Take care anons, life's a bitch. Just keep doing you.

>>677218259
Why don't they just respawn

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>>677218731

>>677218744
Also engineer would be old as fuck by then cause the game takes place in the 60s

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>>677213079
>>677212859
I'm addicted to cutting. I'm simultaneously obsessed with and repulsed by my scars and the actual cutting has become a physical and mental addiction. I'm trying to gather the courage to kill myself.

My father left me and my sister when we were 5 and 3 respectively. My mom managed the best she could as a highschool drop out and without child support.

I always had this dream of becoming this great success and showing him what a terrible choice he made; what he missed out on. Being a borderline prodigy in school gave me a lot of hope, but eventually I had to start working summers in middle school. That turned into after school jobs in highschool, and eventually two full time jobs during the summer. I missed out on any kind of socialising. I grew to hate school. Got out with nothing to show for my work, except keeping the house, which of course was important.

Now I hate my shitty job, I hate my shitty self, I hate the depression that only feeds my self loathing. I think about all I could have become.

And I wonder if maybe my father made the right choice.

>>677219196
What's up man? What's troubling you?

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im about to withdraw from my senior year of highschool because ive fucked the year up so bad it would be impossible for me to pass at this point

my brain doesnt work so well

everything hurts

nothing makes sense

i promised myself when i was ten that i would kill myself when i turned 18

ive been since january

i dont know what to do

>>677219626
Why did you want to kill yourself at the age of ten?

>>677214718
I don't get it ?

>>677219770
ive been depressed as shit for as long as i can remember.
no real reason for it.

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>>677219196
Honestly man I know how you feel I can't stop you from getting better how every you feel will help you but help is easier to find than you think like me I found it but if you feel the really need to I don't want to hear of a b/ro suffering a long and painful death but please first tell us what's happening

>>677219327
From an outside perspective my life is going really well. I'm newly 18, going to a nice college in the fall, have a girlfriend and supportive family. I just have serious mental health issues. When I mess up I feel the need to punish myself by cutting or burning or scratching my skin. I think I've hurt everyone so badly that the only thing to do now is kill myself. I don't want to be alive.

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Oh God, this make me sad

I haven't had a friend in so long that it has been weeks since I've talked to someone other then myself

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do you ever wonder what the other side is like?

>>677220058
Do you have a plan yet?

>>677220068
>anyone want to give my $101 buckeroos?

>>677216038
Don't worry bro. You can still feel the touch of a 14 year old slut. Just not legally

>>677220469


I'm 26 and I haven't had a friend since I was 17

>>677220520
Hopefully nothing, I want to stop feeling

>>677220197
You better just go ahead and kill yourself now. College happiness is for normies. This place is goddamn solitary confimement and I'm losing my mind. The more you fall away from the world the more you hate everyone in it.

when the girl you broke up with your girlfriend for and pursue for a full year tells you about how she found this new guy she cares about :^) suicide

Well anons, I finished up my suicide note, just need to get everything ready. I'm going to end my pain permanently soon. Bye.

>>677220197
Are you currently seeking help?

>>677209282
Pro tip bro. Stop giving a fuck about what your parents think or want. They only thing she did was shit you out then ruined you with her shit parenting

>>677221338
I hope you find peace in death Anon.

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>>677220262
A plot Twist

>>677221338
Gib steam account bb

>>677221360
My mother is paying for therapy sessions for me, which help but also make me feel guilty about the cost. I avoid going to them because I don't want to get better.

This world really has no hope. You can go to school, then what? Get a job, probably something you don't want to do? You can live to be old but your mind usually naturally just becomes insane. I'm planning on serving in the military soon. If there is world war 3, I want to serve in it. Nearly everyone I know has changed. My older brother was once my closest friend. Now he is obsessed with his girlfriend... And it's an unhealthy relationship. I never really had a huge connection with my younger brother. I kinda bullied him at a young age and that made him into what he is now. I have friends but I can't rely on them. They're the type to embarrass you in front of others for popularity. I'm not depressed or anything. I'm pretty confident in myself. I just have realized over the years how hopeless this world is.

>>677221674
Is it because you feel like being this way is a part of your identity? And that feeling better would result in you not being you?

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>>677220580
im trying to get better because ive been more okay since i moved in with a friend. they help make sure i eat and dont sit around the house for weeks at a time and dont drink too much.

ive always had these crazy mood swings so i rarely feel down long enough to do much else than brood or hurt myself in ways that wont do much permanently. and when i feel up, i feel amazing. like i could understand everything if i opened my eyes wide enough. like i could recreate everything. like i could save everything.

the closest ive been to killing myself was when i drank an entire bottle of vodka (im a small guy) and sliced my arm open.

but yeah, im trying to get better and sort through some mental shit.

>>677221338
Post it fgt.

>>677221696
Your existence makes the world a brighter place. It's the little things... I don't know where the fuck I'm going with this. Everyone ought to just suicide to get out of this pointless dance.

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>>677221338
Peace !

It seems to me that everyone around me puts on a front. My parents are junkies that chest on each other constantly while they act like nothings wrong (even though me and my siblings are very messed up mentally. My siblings are alcoholics.) Everyone I know just lies about the problems and covers them with alcohol, drugs, and God existing to justify said actions. The people I know that don't do drugs are morally shallow and have no depth of thinking or do have it but have a "edgy/emo" mentality. I have tried drugs too and still do legal stuff today, and got no satisfaction from any of it. I always dumb my thinking and reasoning down while with people to get along and relate to them. It works, and if I just stayed in that mentality I could probably lead a normal life, but I don't know. I just can't stop thinking about more. What reasons are there to live like that? Always being normal and never really thinking outside anything. It doesn't suit me. I know I'm gonna die by suicide. Maybe not today, tomorrow, next year, or the next ten years. But I will commit suicide.
I guess I should just play along with everyone till then.

>>677216033
The only thing I smile at is 4chan memes

>>677221855
That's not it, no. I want to be able to kill myself, so anything that ties me to this world doesn't help me. I don't want people to try to convince me to live.

No one cares about me.

>>677222267
I wish I had a bond like that. A friend to talk to long into the night, to laugh and cry with and rely on. I missed out on that and I feel so alone

>>677207926
Kys

>>677221338
I'd like to read it as well.

>>677222469
Nope.

>>677222114
I just feel like everything is pointless because we are all going to die in the end. I'm not suicidal and don't plan on killing myself and I've never self harmed, nor do I have the urge to. I smoke daily... Cigs mainly and cigarillos. I find it relaxing. I'd rather die serving my country.

>>677222321
I respect your decision on that. From one stranger to another, I wish you the best, man.

>>677221041
Did I ever mention that I did it with a 21 pound weight belt?

>>677222614
I can't post it. Too sad man.

>>677222699
Thank you

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>>677220262
>>677221574
Moral of the story? Nutella Frappuccino is evil.

>>677222062
>>677222614
>inb4 Dear Slim, I wrote you, but you still ain't callin'

>>677221338
sleep on it

>>677222697
To me it's not that everyone dies in the end. You can die and still have made a difference. But the whole universe will eventually cool and stop moving or contract again, and everything will end. Then truly nothing will have mattered.

>>677222132
Also, anyone know what's up with these names?

Another also: I reread my post and I think it sounds pretentious. I don't know it all. I don't know what life is about. I am a mortal human man. I masturbate for my urges. I feel anxious about having no-one around me as a human should. I'm not better then anybody, I just want to know if anyone can relate I guess.

Spend 20-some odd years working 45-55 hours a week. Spend free time raising my kids. I push them to do well in shool and try and excel and support their extra curricular activities. I am proud of them. I love them. I constantly talk about them at work, as they are my pride.

I see them off to university. I pay for most of it. After university they dont move back. I feel an empty void in my soul. These kids were my pride, my joy, my love. I spent 1/2 my life invested in everything that is them. Ive come to grips that all birds leave the nest. What I cant handle is when I call...by the 4th or 5th ring I am certain they wont answer like usual. Straight to voicemail. I try again and the same thing. I just want to hear their voice. I dont even care if we talk about the weather and news. I just want to hear the sound of my babies voice. They dont pick up the phone.

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>Girlfriend of 3 years breaks up with me
> "Just doesn't feel the same"
> 7 months go by she still talks to me daily, just wants to be single, stills dtf when she's bored/around
> Still messes around with other guys because she wants to be single
> I have no idea what the fuck to do

She always gives me bullshit maybes and that she misses me and all this shit, is it worth it just to have her around and for the sex or should i just burn that bridge, I've seen other girls since but it's not the same

>>677223165
You did a good job.

>>677223036
It just feels good to vent on an anonymous board. No one can really judge you, and if someone does, it doesn't matter.

>>677202054
Adiv died two years and a few days ago

every girl ive ever dated leaves me, idk wtf is wrong with me just really agressive in my opinions and it makes me extremely hard to get along with and I dont think any women will ever love me to the point of staying with me until marriage and kids

>>677217511
i love that show
the new season started yesterday
archer is one of a few shows i've seen over and over to the point where i know everything that will happen but hearing it happen anyway is almost comforting. Sort of like a lullaby
I fall asleep to these shows
i leave them playing during the day when i am barely paying attention
knowing that in the background something is happening something i know and understand makes all the unpredictable bullshit of life a bit funnier and a bit less crazy

>>677220520
every day

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>>677223640
>every girl I've ever dated
Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all

>>677222469
Kys

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born by a single teenage mom ( she was 15 when she had me) lived on her own, only job shes ever been good at was being a waitress, I grew up having straight A's all the way to highschool, took AP classes, had grants to go to collage, discovered my passion, (Wanted to go to culinary school at CIA) then about 6 months ago mom got into a car crash with her and my 3 younger siblings all fatalities, Lost the only family I had, and she was so proud of me, and I had worked so hard to show my mom that I was worth something, and now I'm throwing it all away becasue I can hardly get out of fucking bed in the mornings because all I can think about is her and my little sisters and brother, and its just soul crushingly anguishing, and I have seriously been debating on ending my life, but I have you /b/ros so your my family amirite

Why the fuck am I reading this? I'm well off. I have an easy 9/10 girlfriend. I don't know why but I always come back here to find these threads and it always ends badly.

>>677224264
That is wrong. I'd rather of not wasted my precious time on nothing. Fuck you and anyone who comes back with regurgitated bull shit

>>677223916
right in the feels and even better, a fuckhead gets a righteous ass whoopin.

I can't shake the feeling of being empty. I feel like no one will help me and I wouldn't want to bother them. I honestly don't know what to do anymore.

>>677224413
your mom wouldnt want you to waste your potential. shed want you be strong and carry on.

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>>677224413
we will always behere

I grew up with this dude. He has been my best friend since grade 7 but we live in different towns and have diffeeent groups of friends. We see each other 2 times a year. He hasnt returned my phone calls or text messages in over 5 months.

He is the outgoing type with about 6-10 really good friends. I am the busy wuiet type with maybe 3-4 good friends and I wouldnt even call them good friends anymore because we rarely see each other. So basically I am lonely. My wife akways makes fun of me that i have 'no friends' and I akways use the excuse thst they are all busy with work and family. But the truth is i was a semi-interesting guy with really interesting friends. The crazy artsy types. I was 'too normy' and i think they shunned me out for cooler cats. It fuckin sucks because i cant srand talking and being with normal guys that want to talk about the presidential run and sunday night football. Im one of those dudes that is transient with cliques. Im like a ghost that wanders from clique to clique...well liked, but never fitting in. Im just a nice, pleasant guy with no redeeming qualities.

I need fucking meds or something. Life is so god damned boring now. My only pleasure is watching eoisode after episode of 'good' tv shows and eating food.

>>677224548
this
i always thought that it would be better to have loved and lost until i loved
can't get over her

>>677223165

Consider their success and future legacy and happiness your thanks. They may forget to say it, but they live it every day.

>>677224264

Horse shit. I hate this phrase so much. Love can ruin a person.

>>677224548
hey man at least you got a taste of something good while it lasted, hold onto it. Some people don't even get that

thinking about her right now
I cannot stop thinking about you
Every night I hug a pillow close
I pretend that it's you
That you want me to hold you close
That you want me to be there for you
That you even want me around at all
I don't know what to say to you
I mustered up the courage to try and explain
I ended up mumbling something about me kinda liking you
I told you to forget about it if you didn't feel similarly
But that isn't how I feel
I don't just like you
I don't just want to be your boyfriend
I don't want to hook up with you
I don't want to fuck you
I want to be there for you
I want to be there with you
I just want to be with you
He doesn't really care about you
He wants to see if you'll let him fuck you if he can get you high enough
The very thought is making me angrier than I've ever been
I'm not a violent person
If someone tried to touch you like that I'd want to break their arms
I'm not exaggerating to seem dramatic
If some asshole wanted to just use your body he wouldn't deserve his arms
If he can't see
How beautiful you are
How funny you are
How smart you are
How kind you are
How perfect you are
He wouldn't deserve his goddamn eyes
You probably wouldn't believe that
And of course it's vain to believe you are those things but you are
I have laid awake for hours trying to picture a more beautiful woman than you
I haven't been able to think of one
Over the weekend when I can't see you I feel like something is just missing from my life
I miss you when I go home from school for the day
I miss you when you go to another class and I don't get to see you for eighty two empty minutes

>>677225062
cont

Then you send me a snapchat and I get so excited
Maybe she wants to talk to me
I see your perfect face with weird hairstyle
You still look beautiful even though you are mocking your appearance
I can't say anything though
Can't risk disrupting the already uneven balance of our friendship
I send a snapchat back
I try to make it clever
Clever enough that you'll want to respond
I feel awkward just asking "what's up?"
It never is enough
Something about me just isn't enough for you
I want to make you happy
What else are you looking for?
Why won't you give me a chance?

A friend of mine who was like a little brother of mine died in a car crash while I was away at training. He idolized me and I can't help but blame myself. If I had still been around, he would still be here.

>>677218259
y dont you just go to Japan? If it doesn't work out you were about to kill yourself anyway. It seems silly to quit your dreams because 1 program rejected you. If you know Japanese and have some savings you should be able to find a job as an english teacher.

>>677212787
Me too anon. I get angry because my close friends are doing great things with jobs and such and I'm mediocre. I want to be happy for them but i can't

I once couldn't hold me spaghetti

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wn3X6J8A6eo

>>677224516
Are you sure you wanted to share with us that your GF is easy [to get]? (Hint: I think the word you were looking for is "easily"). Just sayin'. And I know those feels you mentioned (not belonging to the thread but still coming back.)

>>677224766
Meds for what? Being boring? Come on. Nothing is wrong being a decent, albeit not that much interesting guy. At the end of the day, though, you're the one who's responsible for your life. Maybe it's time to try to spice things a little bit up.

>>677224413
What >>677224686 said. Throwing all this away would not only question the work you put into this already, but indirectly, your Mom's [work] too.

>>677211186
You put 2 of my favourite things as a kid together and made it completely awful. How could you?

bump
pls no 404

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>>677227132
bump bump

I thought that eventually things would get better, that I'd learn to manage, that I would get over myself and do something.

turns out I didn't do anything and it never happened.

don't procrastinate, guys.

>>677227542
the song of my people shall cheer you up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfiIU5cCXLo

>>677201703
So you know how Pornhub today is about corn? well i sent a picture of it on snapchat to some friends and as i tapped the last friend i accidently tapped my crush's name. So yeah, she got a picture of Pornhub sent to her followed by several pleas telling her not to open it. Her response was "I don't know you (anymore.)" i cant wait to fucking finish HS (senior but held back a year) and start anew in college. I've fucked up so much and want to find somewhere where no one knows my past fuck-ups.

The grill I've been dating for 3.5 years was diagnosed with MS a year ago. She is losing control of her mind and body at a rate so fast that didn't think it could have been MS.
2 years ago my dad died, massive heart failure at 55.
I was diagnosed with a migraine disorder 10 years ago and haven't had a pain free day in over 7 years.
I'm in so much medical debt it's laughable and still have no answers as to why I'm in so much pain.
At what point am I allowed to give up /b/? When is enough, enough?

I'm Latino, white, black, and asian combine, but i came out brown..., but not like spic brown, but a shade of brown that you would be like "yup he's a mexican" Being a brown piece of shit has brought sorrow to my life. Fml

>>677226339
not Roxanne, but i'm pretty sure he means easy as in almost or about a 9/10

>>677204067
You have to interact with people and different environments more. I was the exact same way as you man, it feels way better after you actually go outside your comfort zone. I'm still a weird kind of annoying fuck wad with autism, but I know a lot more about the people i'm around and i'm a lot more focused. Do it.

I'm so ugly, i feel like i can't accomplish anything in life because I'm so hideous, especially my acne, acne scars.. ugh kill me

>text brother who I try to talk to
>Happy Easter
>hasn't responded
I guess he's just busy, I wouldn't want to bother him
>text good friend
>Hey
>hasn't responded
I guess I need to let people have their space. I shouldn't intrude
>text coworker and ask him a work favor
>hasn't responded
Well I guess no one really likes to talk about work in their free time, my fault
>text other friend with whom I've had long conversations with
>hasn't responded
I'll admit, sometimes I do get annoying. Not everyone wants to talk to me.
>text myself
>I appreciate you
Fuck it's hard to stay positive right now. I just wish someone would talk to me, give me a reason why they haven't answered. I just want one person to talk to

>>677217351
Doubt your here...but,
Tonight I'm drinkin brandy. Last night Rum. The night before whisky. Maybe vodka tomorrow. Beer can be nice, but it takes 10+ to feel anything anymore.

Usually lots of hard liquor helps me sleep. Nothing drowns the pain.

>>677211460
Why the fuck would you want to be married before 30?

I realized the other day that I can't smile properly anymore.

When I feel happy and a smile appears on my face, it astonishes me so bad that I start reflecting on how I haven't felt okay in a long time, and than the left corner of my mouth literally starts involuntarily twitching and I look like a psycho unless I cover it with my hand or force my mouth into a hard frown (It doesn't go away if I just try to relax the smile, it won't stop twitching.)

This basically means I've become panfaced as fuck, and when I do smile it's followed immediately by me covering my mouth and gaining a thousand yard stare for 10-20 seconds before I relax again.

I used to be pretty good at faking smiles, but now even those ones are unreliable and can start twitching if I'm not 100% on the top of my game.

Understandably, the few friends I have are starting to become visibly uncomfortable in my presence, as I seem permanently on edge/like I'm hiding something awkwardly. For example, my roommate asked me how I was doing a few hours ago with a worried expression, and I responded with "Yeah! Uhhh... fine. Why? I'm good. No issues."

And he just sorta nodded and walked away.

The problem is I don't really feel much about it. Not sad or depressed, I just feel really disconnected from the rest of the world, like it's fundamentally wrong somehow. Like the soul in me is inhuman somehow when compared to everyone else.

I just want someone to love.

>>677229108
Damn I'm sorry, Lisa. Give it some time, maybe someone will text back.. Has happened to me before.

>>677229434
I just want someone to love me

>>677229558
wont anybody find me
somebody to love

>>677229452
I do hope so. I just wish I knew why my brother and I don't get along. It may be the large age gap, we're 9 years apart. We have the same interests and everything, I just really don't know
>>677229558
I don't know you, but I love you.

>>677229358
You should be upfront and tell your friends about it. Trust me its best to get it out of the way or else they wont know how to respond to you. Could help, or just make things awkward. But if they're your true friends they will want to help you out.

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>>677229108
Anon, talk to me

>>677203289

Damn.

>>677207505
op is a faggot

>>677227900
You think a change of scenery will make a difference? You will just keep making the same mistakes over and over. Welcome to life

>>677229918
I think because of the lack of people who talk to me, I've lost a lot of social skills. A lot of the time, when someone says something, I have no idea how to respond. I just end up smiling and nodding and looking like an idiot. Any way to get some of these social skills back? I want to interact with others, but I just don't know how.

I really don't know what to say about myself, I really am usually happy around everyone, people even notice it sometimes. But often, when i'm alone, I ask if I really am. I wanna go to school, see what it takes to be a veterinary technician or be in zoology or some bullshit, I like animals and stuff. I hate saying it, I am far from what you'd call smart. I'm kind of a dumb ass. I have always hated being called stupid, and I think I know why. Because I probably am. But all I ever wanted to do was care for animals and make a difference somehow for something, I love helping, even though i'm not the best at it, I really like it when I do. I don't think I can make it into a career, and if I have to live a life of compromise and know I haven't done anything for anybody, there's really not much of a point in me being here. I don't really even know if i'm sad, I don't know what i'm going to do or what I can do.

I'm 16, every true friend i had are gone, and my ``college friends´´ talk to me only when there is no one else to talk to...
I met this girl last year, she was so perfect, she liked me and i liked her... but i think i screwed up, didn't gave her enough attention... she found someone better now, just like every other girl... every other girl in my school are like a bunch of bitches, so i think ill be single for another 16 years or so... im depressed, lost, all i do is play, but not because i want, but rather because if my parents finds out i'm depressed they'll have more problems in their lives... i just want to stay in bed, and never ever get up... i still dont belive i lost her... :/

Every time I've posted my story in a baww thread, it never gets a reply and It just cements the idea on my head that no one cares about any problems.

>>677229108
I used to love being alone for the longest time because that was all I ever really knew. Then I made some friends, and actually started doing shit. Now they constantly ignore me and make me feel like shiot, and it reminds me of why I spend most of my time by myself. Because nobody gives a fuck about me. I care about so many people, but I always get the feeling they don't give a fuck about me. Maybe i'm over thinking it, but i'd still wish somebody would tell me they cared enough.

>>677230598
YOU ARE 16 YOU'LL LITERALLY GROW OUT OF IT

>>677230719
post story then, I'll reply bruh

>>677225127
>>677225062
why do i even feel this way about her
i've never been in love before but is this what it's like?
I hate it
I've never felt this awful in my life
if she doesn't feel exactly the same way i feel sad constantly
nothing can cheer me up
I used to be able to pretend and try to convince myself that she felt the same way
now that i told her its all ruined
i feel like i've ruined the friendship we had
even if she still wants to be friends
the way i look at her is different
i dont know what to do /b/ make me feel at least

>>677230719
>>677230790
same

>>677229878
Yeah, I've done things like that before.

Someone I used to know killed herself about half a year ago, and it sorta messed me up.

I told a few people about it, and it was absolutely horrific and didn't make me feel better each time.

My roommate just started treading on eggshells around me, my brother gave some shit advice about it then moved on as did a few other close friends, and my parents and I had a dark moment were they actually laughed about it (They thought I didn't care about this person.) and I ended up warning them to shut their mouths in a cold rage.

The only person that was actually helpful and made me feel better about it was a friend with aspergers who empathized with me and talked about his own problems before we went on a long discussion about our worldviews. The problem is that we are distant now because he fell into a depression as well and we just drifted out of each others lives.

Actually, while I was typing that out I realized I needed to get back in touch with that dude. Thanks.

>>677230282
Who needs social skills. Just way whats on your mind. And if they fant handle that, fuckem they are lousy people.

>>677231019
I'd probably piss off a lot of people then, especially my coworkers.

I will never have any sympathy for anyone posting about a woman leaving them. unless they did something over the top to fuck you over, nobody cares

I beat the shit out of my cheatings fiances ex

Literally, if I didnt get pulled off of him he would be dead.

>>677205900

witnessed these dubs and these keks

I'm seventeen. My dad died in a car crash with my 12 year old step brother who is also now dead after being hospitalized. I feel like there is nothing left for me now that he's gone....

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>>677231219
Fine, you are probably right. Just pracice talking. I'm sure youbwill rebuild and improove your social skills. You are smartter than you believe yourself to be.

>>677232016
Thanks a lot man

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>>677232147
Were always here for you anon

>>677208469
I know what it's like to never be loved by your mother Anon.

Mom
>Be 3
>Mom beats the shit out of me for stupid little things, like dropping food on the ground on accident.
>be 5 physical abuse continues.
>One time the bitch takes my favorite toys that are literally the only things I have that I care about and throws them in the garbage. My father came home and got them out for me, but still fucked me up mentally. Not allowed outside.
>Other time, (Mother is a borderline jehovah's witness.) Tells me I am a sinner and god will punish me if I don't pray to him every day.
>Actually wet the bed until now.
>Be 6 physical abuse continues
>Spill stuff on myself at my sister's birthday party. Makes me strip naked in front of all the girls who she told 'not to look' as if they would listen. Embarrasses the fuck out of me.
>7 Physical abuse continues.
>Throws some of my favorite lego's out because I didn't clean them properly.
>I offered to try and help her clean the floors one day, didn't do it the way she liked. Locks me in my room for a day not allowed to touch anything or she said she would take it away, I tested it and she did and gave it away to the good will.
Continued....

>>677233162
>8 Physical abuse continues, Cousin starts raping me, happens a lot.
>Right after the rape occurred she got mad at me because I started wetting the bed again and picking my nose.
>Locks me in my room for 3 days, then takes everything out except a blanket and a pillow. Only allowed out for school work, food (My only time I was allowed to drink as well), and three times a day for the bathroom, and once to shower for the next 3 weeks.
>Makes me really obsessive compulsive to the point where I keep saying phrases in my head over and over again for the next year like (I won’t cure god, or worship Satan) constantly in my mind from the moment I wake up. Wash my hands so much they become raw, and still to this day my hands have never fully recovered from the chemical burns from the soap. They will crack and bleed if I don’t put lotion on them constantly.
>9 physical abuse and I am still being raped.
>My sister and her friends are terrorizing me, punching and kicking me and pinning me to the ground. Keep having flash backs so I punch my sister. Mom kicks me in the balls, pulls my hair, and beats me really hard.
>Sister found out she can blame me for anything and I start getting punished for what she does.
>10 physical abuse continues, rape stops closer to 11.
>Get signed up for a homeschool art class. Teacher constantly threatening to not allow me to come back because I behaved a little bit more rowdy than the other children. Scares me straight so I stop.
>Mom is getting her hair done at a salon. Manager notices I am doing something she doesn’t like and asked me to stop. I stop. Get home get beaten and grounded because I “embarrassed her”.

>>677233381
>11 Physical abuse continues.
>Locks me in my room for a few weeks again; really, really, not well. My self-worth hits absolute zero here and has never gone up since then.
>12 same old song and dance.
>13 obsessive compulsive tendencies stop when I force myself to go against them.
>14 Stop my mom from hitting me and tell her if she does it again I will hit her back and call csb on her ass.
>Manipulation is still attempted, but I stopped giving her the time of day.
>15 mom still tries to emotionally manipulate me, I purposely start hurting her emotionally. This continues every time she tried anything to this day
>18 become an atheist.
>23 (Now) realize I need therapy, and may be trans.

Final post, honestly though, I don't think I ever had a chance.

My family is going to send me to rehab soon and make me Pay for it. For drinking a beer. Sure I used to have problems with heroin and pills but this is a fucking beer. Only makes me want to use more

>>677233641
You can choose not to go to rehab if you are over 18.

>>677233841
I am 19. But it's either rehab or get kicked out. I've been kicked out before. But it never went well. I would just live in poorness and fight for food like a drifter

I'm sorry
You're going to feel like shit
I feel like shit too
time passes and I feel better
it gets a little harder each time
But I muscle through it
Because I know there's life at the end
And it's worth it
I just know

The dead pity the living, especially those who died young

>>677234060
Basically, I've only been worse and more depressed on my own. I need my family and their house. But I also don't want to give up pills and drinking. It just really helps, you know?

>>677234363
Well, allow me to possibly help you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao8L-0nSYzg

>>677234363
Cont.
I've went through weeks and months of sobriety whilst living here, but I always come back. I feel like I can't give up drugs ever. Ive been through so many and so much for a young age, that I can finally manage them at a healthy rate. And still he happy. But everyone wants me to stop. I've never had any good support out side of my family, so I feel like I'm stuck with them. In this constant battle between them, or drugs. I know I can handle both. But they don't want me to touch any drugs. Even pot.

>>677230754
Not likely; Faggot.
Was Sixteen and Depressed.
Am much older. Depression never left.

>>677234867
The video I sent explains why addiction occurs. Sometimes hearing the information can help you deduce a plan to get yourself out of the situation. I myself chose nicotine as my substance to abuse so I was somewhat lucky in that respect, but I found that if you truly find someone to hold onto you can break the cycle and save yourself. Best of luck anon, and godspeed. Maybe the rehab will be good for you, try to keep your chin up and find some friends while you're there.

>>677234171
I believe I can fly.

>>677233477
Well; you said you might be Trans.
so you certainly need therapy.

>>677233477
Sometimes i wish that the stuff i read on here is just made up bullshit... But we all know better don't we?

I've always loved how people mark up 4chan to be this terrifying place where the bottom of the barrel thrive, and yet I've found more comfort and love here than anywhere else in life. I love you, /b/. I really mean that. Thanks for being here through all the bullshit that happens day to day. You guys are what stops me from taking my life.

>>677235717
Me too bud, me too.

>>677235740
Anonymity brings the best and worst sides of humans to the surface.

>>677235954
Yep

>>677235663
Worst

>>677235532
Best

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>chronic back pain from a lower disc herniation
>can't sleep
>no gf
>have shit to do tomorrow

this is the first feels thread ive come across in a long time where the majority of posts arent about some teenagers crying over some bitch they swear they cant live without

>>677236246
Tell them to lurk more.

>>677236388
^This.

>>677235740
iktf.

>>677231621
why?

Honestly, readin through this, most of yall don't belong in this thread at all. Your 16, 17, 20, fuck you. If you keep fucking up thats on you, an most of you will.

Come back in 10, 15 years, and tell me about how hard it is being 17. And let me know what your drinkin, because you will be. Oh you will be.

>>677235532
You said it. Friends. I need those. The only ones I ha e are heavy into drugs and I don't even talk to them much anymore (besides a groupchat called 'bonghits4jesus' where we share memes). I need sober friends. But its hard when you're a neet and no job lol

>>677236918
What's your problems anon? Talk to me bb

>>677236918
FUCKING THIS!!!!! its like mods dont enforce that underage rule anymore. i tell these fuckers all the time to come back in 10 years when you have REAL problems

>>677236918
Being young doesnt mean that life didn't fuck you over...

>>677201703
i feel you

>>677237138
that may be true, but getting rejected for prom does not mean your life is over

>>677236918
Hey, don't be an ass. This isn't a competition thread to see who has it the worst, every human being has different tolerances and different problems, regardless of what fucking age they are. Everyone here deserves to be here and speak their minds about what's personally wrong in their lives. So shut the fuck up and let the feels flow.

>>677237438
This.

>>677237101
Bro were you raped at age 12. Fuck off

>>677237438
/

>>677215977
Same here. I've never lost anyone I loved and am scared as they get older

I beguin things with a friend one night, but then she begun to go out with a man of that night, so fuck her, i will now be the worst people that i can.

>>677236986
I know it's hard, and it will continue to be hard. I am the anon that wrote.
>>677233162
>>677233381
>>677233477
Let me tell you one other thing. I had made a friend at 14, he was one of the only people who would talk to me. I was so alone that I allowed him to take advantage of me until recently. By that I mean he was manipulative and didn't give a flying fuck about me. Recently I decided I didn't want him in my life anymore, I cut ties. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, I felt like I wasted 9 almost 10 years of my life building the relationship with someone who was never there for me. I felt stupid for allowing myself to be used, but you know what anon I am much better off now, I am better off because I don't have to deal with being manipulated. That is what you have to do with those friends. Heal yourself, don't worry about them anymore, know that they aren't truly your friends, because if they were none of you would be addicted to substances.

>>677237438
well you cant come to guys like us who lose too much what and who we care about coping with alcohol we can legally buy and drugs with "waahhh im not popular in school" bullshit

>>677237652
Getting confronted with death early on makes it surprisingly a lot easier to endure... How old are you anon?