When a girl accused me of trying to rape her and told all of our mutual friends. Thankfully everyone knew that she had a history of attention seeking, and they knew I wasn't the kind of person to even attempt something like that.

>>676553420
Damn thats dark. Luckily they believed you. I've heard of people going down for that only for the girl to admit she lied years later, much too late for that guys life.

When a guy invaded my house and tried to kidnap my daughter.
She screamed and killed him with a knife she used to put under her pillow

when i almost forgot about Dre

>>676553927
None of them bought it and she eventually recanted her story. But for the next few months I was terrified of the cops getting involved.

There was a black man on both sides of the street last night as I was walking

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>>676553242
I once click on a ylyl thread and saw this image

>>676553420
which is why you probably did it you bad ass

>>676554218
Is your name Luke?

>>676554751
Nope.

>>676553242
When I tboned a dumbass on the highway cuz he didn't stop at a stopsign and apparently didn't see me coming because he was a fucking retard. I'm going 60, he flies out in front of me and I don't have time to react, I hit him and we both spin into the ditch. When I got out of my car, he was seizing and then stopped and was unconscious. I thought he was dead. It was terrifying. Later at the hospital I found out he survived, so yeah, but in the moment, I thought I just watched somebody die because I hit them with my car (even though it was his fault)

I came home late one night because my Highschool NJROTC team arrived in town. I decided to talk home at 12:30 in the morning and when I arrived home the front door was locked so I messed with it. I went through the back doggie door and walked to my room slowly to not wake my parents and my mom and step dad yelled out loud they were about to shoot me. I said who I am and they put they're pistols down.

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>>676554352
Dear lord, what did you do?

>>676554174
Underrated

Skelton in closet

>>676555232
wow, your parents are fucking spazzes

>>676553420
>wasn't that kind of person
Are you a faggot or something anon?

55555

>>676553974
What if that was a guy she invited over and she just wanted to kill him for fun!

>>676554352
>turn 360 degrees and moonwalk into the sky

>>676553420
Garrett?

>>676553242
> arrived in seaside town after vehicle failure, need to procure new vehicle.
> get hassled by local law.
> see girl in distance tombstone badly into sea.
> distraction.jpg
> law leave me alone to deal with it.
> ditch gear and swim across to save her.
> pull her out and commence basic first aid.
> law arrive on scene start hassling again.
> put under arrest for previous outstanding offence after cursory background check.

>>676554174
Underrated af

>>676555532
They know he can't get hard for women so they dismissed the rape claim against him as a blatant falsehood.
They know he can only get it up for men and rhode island red roosters.

>>676553974
I'm pretty sure your daughter just murdered a guy and made up that story to get away with it, people in real life don't keep knives under their pillows, and there's no way a girl with a knife could kill a big dude trying to kidnap her

>>676554174
Sure, but you know, now'days evry'body wanna talk....

when my friend says we might not be able to buy weed tonight

>>676553242
I was 18 I think, back when I was living on the fringes of society (lots of drugs and crazy stories from this time period). Anyway I was spending some time in a really, really shitty motel and a black guy tried to kill me in the staircase. He had me cornered but I managed to run away and by the grace of some higher power the door to my room was unlocked- he was running after me too. The adrenaline rush I got was seriously unreal.

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>>676554174

When my mum told me she had cancer.

>>676555721
>> arrived in seaside town after vehicle failure, need to procure new vehicle.
>> get hassled by local law.
>> see girl in distance tombstone badly into sea.
>> distraction.jpg
>> law leave me alone to deal with it.
wtf are you talking about

>>676554751
Luke Fischer?

>>676555804
That's what I thought, thanks for confirming anon

>>676555964
You know, he saw a girl in the distance tombstone badly into the water.

>>676554751
was the girl's name Kylie?

When I thought I killed my dog. He kept fucking with me, so I grabbed him by the head with both hands and pushed his head down. His eyes closed and he didn't move at all for like 5 seconds. I thought I broked his neck or some shit.

>>676553242
I was flying in Argentina because cheap flying lessons, almost had an air crash with another aircraft. I complained because of how insecure and how operations were handled there and no one listened to me. So I left, and two months later an accident occurred exactly because of what I said.
Look it up in Google. Accidente e. General Rodríguez

>>676553974
She got kik?

>>676556263
wow you're a fucking asshole

you do realize dogs are basically children right? I hope you never have kids cuz you'll probably abuse them too

go to anger management faggot

>>676556263
kill yourself
its easy to fuck with something that cant or wont fight back you

>>676555815
My parents went on vacation for 1 week last summer. I was alone in my house for a week and slept with my bayonet under my pillow. I used to take it with me in the mornings when I was checking out the house. Funny thing is that my house isnt that big and I could totally hear someone trying to break in.

I once sat by an Arab on a plane.
I called my mom and told her I loved her before the plane took off.

>>676556899
>my bayonet
are you writing to us from the 18th century?

>>676553242
When I got caught masturbating by my sister but then she joined in

>>676557100
Bayonets are making a comeback. Go check /k/

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>>676556982

>>676555648
Garrett is faggot.

>>676555815
>giant blue state pussy detected

>>676557135
>pics
>greentext
>stfu
pick one

>>676554352
>a black man
>a

>both sides


KEK

>>676553242

driving 100mph in a 30 zone, another car pulls out of fucking no where, skid like 720, going sideways at near 100mph, backwards through a red light. Stop facing the wrong way maybe 250m from where I started to brake.

>in a Pug 106 gti, would have been insta-death if I hit anything.

>>676557499
You fuckin deserve to die

>>676553420
that exact thing happened to someone i know

>>676557242
Suck my dick

>be me at age 12
>daily school like
>friend asks me if i want to cut class to see something cool
>during 3rd period we go to the school restroom
>he starts pulling something out of his pants
>discover porn magazines
>big tit blondes everywhere naked
>holy fuck this is the great thing ive ever seen
>we flip through the pages
>he asks me if i want a page
>FUCKYEAH.mp3
>i stuff the page in my pocket excitedly
>i think aobut the page all day
>i go straight home into my room and close the door
>throw my backpack to the side and get under the covers in bed

Continued

>>676557100
Isn't a bayonet the knife you put at the end of a gun? I have a really kick ass combat knife that you can attach at the end of an AK derivative. My dad got it from the army before I was born. I think it's from the 80 or 90. South East eurofag here. I can't remember the guns name but my country used to rely on them.

>>676557733
daily school life*

Back to story:

>eagerly take out page
>hot naked women everywhere
>first real hard boner
>start rubbing boner
>the sensation keeps getting better
>man this is the best thing on earth
>hear door open
>ohfuck.mov
>it's my annoying sister
>2 years older than me
>i put the page under the covers
>she asks if im "hiding drugs"
>i tell her no
>she insists on knowing what i put under the covers
>she rips the covers but luckily i put my dick back in pants
>she sees the page
>snatches the page
>why do you have this stuff anon im telling mom
>i say please don't ill do anything
>she says "let me see it"
>seewhat?.jpg
>your thing
>i pull pants down and still hard
>she bends over and starts rubbing it
>theabsolutemadwoman.avi

Continued

>>676558295

BUUUUULLLSHIIIIIIIIIIT NIGGEEEEER

>be in afghanistan
>remote fire base
>multiple firefights everyday
>never knowing when one of those bullets is going to hit me
>have guys getting hit around me every couple days
>wondering when it will be me
>knowing every time i go to sleep when i wake up i will still be there

luckily made it out with only a shrapnel wound but i did get to waste some of those shitskins.

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>>676558295
>theabsolutemadwoman.avi

>On the highway going to the airport,
>merge into the first lane
>some fucker goes from the 3rd lane trying to get all the way to the 1st
>pulls in front of the semi next to me the semi brakes
>was about 4 feet from hitting my Honda Pilot
>the semi nearly slide into my car
keep in mind the semi was at 60-65 mph

>>676557499
Cunt

>>676553242
Last Friday and Saturday night I swear I was having seizures. I think all the uppers have done a number on my heart finally. Thank god I had some benzos or I might have had to go to the hospital. Still feel like shit. Gonna get clean.

>>676558295
>she puts her face closer to it
>oh shit whats going on
>she pulls the skin back
>uncutfag here
>she starts licking the tip
>sothisisheavenonearth.png
>she slowly starts to engulf the head
>i just lean back on the bed
>she starts stroking it while sucking
>i get sit back up and look at her
>damn she knows what shes doing
>wait shes done this before
>my sister must be a whore at school
>who cares this feels good
>all of a sudden a sharp pain/good feeling
>my dick is pulsating
>I try to talk but my speech is slurred
>she gets up and starts smiling and says "just between us ok?"
>i lay back in bed ashamed/confused/happy/mad all at the same time

>>676557604

Bit harsh mate, it was like 15 years ago, and I realized I was a stupid cunt. Probably wont help that I was fucking wrecked on cheap vodka and shitty ecstasy.

>Ahh, to be young again.

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>>676558086
Here's the gun and the bayonet.

>>676558719

So much bullshit in 1 post. Are you a livestock farmer?

>>676555480
American gun culture for ya

Everyone wants to be dirty harry badass

>>676558719
oh and by the way..The last person who tested my patience was my ex gf..she complained for 7 days to conceal an affair and try to make me break up with her. on the eighth day. i gave her one chance. she took the opportunity to go for blood. i responded with 6 words with enough impact destroy her COMPLETLY. she died two months later and i still don't give a #@%^. trust me. when you've got my full and complete attention i will hurt you. because it's like your asking for it.
don't make me a bad guy kiddo. i'd rather we be cool. so be cool. otherwise.There is an answer for that too. oh and one more thing. it's obvious i have age on you. i've read responses by women who complained of the size of my tool was too much to either bother reading cause she was either lazy and can't read which most women are. or she her pimp came in her ass and gave her diarrhea and so she was in a @#$%^& up mood and wanted to fire off a shot

>>676558847
No why?

That really happened btw I was in middle school and I remember it perfectly. Details may be off, but that's pretty much the way I remember it.

>>676558828
>Ahh, to be young again.

I hope you never get to experience youth again, your absolute disregard for others safety and straight up retarded attitude is sickening, I just wish you had gone through the windshield.

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>>676558704
>2016
>not having regular siezures every weekend from prolonged drug use.

>>676559007

You're obviously a livestock farmer, nobody else would have access to this massive quantity of bullshit.

>>676558828
Nope. I'm not the quoted, but I agree.

You deserve to fucking die.

>>676559020

Well I didn't - I have drove drunk countless times, and never hit some one, and tbh if I did I would have drove away.

>You never do stupid shit when you were younger?

>>676559135
Haha good joke but yeah, my first blowjob was from sister. I skipped a lot of stuff because I was focusing on speed, and not specifics

>>676558411
Unit?
Mos?
Location?
Date?

>>676559082
If I have to go through that hell every weekend and then a lesser hell the rest of the week just to feel up for one night then fuck that not worth it I'll just stick to the psychs and THC from now on. Had my fun with uppers just wish I didn't like them so much.

>>676555928
Why was he trying to kill you? Surely you must have done something.

>>676553242
Be me in court for non payment of fines
Judge; blah blah blah
Me; tum te tum te tum
Judge; blah blah blah
Me; Dooby dooby do
Judge; sentence you to two weeks imprisonment
Me;fuuuuuuuuck
Judge;..suspended for six months
Me;fuuuuuuuuuuuck

Nearly shat meself.

>>676558934
Are you Bismuth?

>>676559367

Of course I did stupid shit, but not stuff that seriously endangered others like a fucking nigger.

Most dangerous thing I did was put a 10L propane/butane fuel tank in a fire in the middle of the woods.

>>676558934
Fuck off m8

>>676557452
are you retarded?

>>676559456
i'm just fuckin with you. Pretty sure ive had siezures from doin speed. Thank god for heroin.
Fuck the psychs though. thc, whatever.
I will never do uppers again.

>>676559689
>Judge; blah blah blah
>Me; tum te tum te tum
>Judge; blah blah blah
>Me; Dooby dooby do
>Judge; sentence you to two weeks imprisonment
>Me;fuuuuuuuuck
>Judge;..suspended for six months
>Me;fuuuuuuuuuuuck

tyrone detected

>>676559007
Did anything else ever happen between you two?

>>676560012
This desu.

>>676558934
sweet, a new pasta.

>>676559007
What state did this happen in?
Just curious of incest only happens in the south

>>676558828
Driving on Vodka and pills at a ton, in a thirty.

Double cunty cunt. I hope you lose your first born to someone just like you.

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>>676553242
Pulling the trigger on myself while drunk, only for there to be no round chambered...

>>676560136
Not really, but during age 17 I remember her being extremely mean to me, she had a boyfriend and I was pretty cool with him. Him and I used to always play games together. But she always used to swear at me like she hated my guts.


>>676560262
Texas.

called dubs but got singles

>check em

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>>676560552

>>676560307

It was like 4 in the morning, not the fucking school run.

accidentally deleted 300 GB of porn(my best collection)

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>>676560786

>>676560786
But did you wipe the hard drive? You know the data is still on the disk. Use Recuva or smth

>Hammered drunk with friends at friend's house
>Winter so lots of snow
>Stumble out to car
>Pass out in car
>Wake up freezing
>Try to leave car
>Doors are stuck shut and won't open enough for me to get out
>Delirious and freezing cold so turn on car to try and get some heat
>Random people walking along street that morning come by and dig me out, telling me to turn off car
>Drunk friends had buried me in my car as joke with snow and then frozen the snow over with hose
>Surrounded the car up to the exhaust pipe
>Could have died from carbon monoxide poisoning that morning if not for random strangers
>Too drunk and cold to even ponder this, just thank strangers and run inside to sleep in relative warmth
>Stop hanging out with that particular friend group for a while

Alcohol is bad

>>676554218

False charges should be harshly punished

>>676560786
That's an unbelievable amount of porn

I don't believe you had 300 GB of fap material

>>676560786
You could have gotten it back you know.

>>676560698
Ok. Nobody else around at that time of course.
No shift workers
No early starters
No cyclists
No motorcyclists
No joggers

Just cunty cunt you and your cunty cunt nigger mobile.

>>676559658
Nah, I guess I looked at him wrong. I also think he was high on Crack at the time. In that world some people were a little hostile to me simply because I was a 'pretty boy' good looking and wasn't nearly done with puberty yet.

>>676561114
LOL, not that guy but seriously? I have like 2TB of it. I don't watch it, it just sits on a dusty old external HDD.

>>676561127
i tried but it didn't work

one time i almost drank milk 2 days past expiration date

>>676555928
Reminds me of the time back in high school I was going to smoke some weed at the home of someone my buddy I was with knew and his crazy ass cousin threatened me with a knife, threatening to rob our houses, etc. Fucking ghetto people man.

>>676555232

They should of just shot you and ended their pathetic bloodline

>>676561114
it took me 2 year to collect them and they are full HD

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>>676561439

A tie between being arrested for the first time (caught stealing a bike)
or having my welfare revoked.

>>676553420

You should beat that bitch into a coma.

>>676558411
>shitskins
So you were in an all-white unit?

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>>676561619
Nigger detected

>>676557660

Did he destroy that bitch?

>>676553242
"out of the freezer" instead of "out the freezer"
for shame, sir

Lrn2ebonics

>>676553242
When I let my friend spend a few nights over my house and this motherfucker downloaded a shit load of movies.

I checked my email and got a few notices from my ISP, saying something about DMCA and sueing me. I shat bricks and didn't even respond.

>>676560948
i tried but it didn't work

>>676553242
Looking down the barrel of a 357 held by a crackhead.

>>676561741
noooo, you think? fucking newfag bait-biter

Last two years. Nightmares when I sleep, hallucinating when I'm awake. Thank god for cocaine otherwise I'd be a mess hahah

>>676561934
Made me kek.

>>676559454
ahmed, stop it

>arrive to airbase strapped in
>hear base alarm when crew chief opens door
>hear c-ram
fucking sweet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILcVt9p7cug
>hear mortars splash
>parked for 5 minutes, strapped into a gas tank
>arrive at next base
>unload
>smoke across the tarmac
>more mortars hit a moment ago
>walking a security detail
>rocket lands across the road
>call in the impact area
>army apache catches team egressing down some road, 30mm
lol, everyday was mortar and rocket, fucking awesome not scary

scary was when i was told my parents may have been killed in a wreck. we already knew one passenger was dead, and had no news for a few hours. i was 8 my brother was 1. welp little dude, looks like it's you and me

>>676561786
Lol fag

Piracy is a legal gray area and ISPs can't do anything but send vaguely threatening legal-sounding emails and ratchet down your internet speed.

>>676554964
Well that's why they don't have stop signs on a fuckin highway

>>676553242
Happened recently,

I was diagnosed with terminal depression. I haven't got the courage to tell my family.

>>676558411
Thank you for your service

>>676554174

you don't joke with shit like that you cunt!!!!!!!!! now I have it stuck in my goddamn head

>>676561999
You just got to laugh at this point haha

The scariest moment in my life was when my boyfriend left me. I did not know what to do and the following two weeks were hell.

>>676557452
His dick reached across the street

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>>676554964
That's why committing suicide by involving others is extra-selfish. They die but some innocent car/truck/train driver has to live with horror of the facts for a lifetime.

You thought your life was so horrible that you had to leave - but you intentionally impose a horrible situation, with lifelong repercussions, on some random person,? Maybe even kill them? How is that any different than a school/workplace/mall shooter?

>>676553420
There's a chick that really digs me and me her. She has mental health issues and takes pills. She's pretty hot though, but people have told me she was a huge attention seeker in all different ways back in school..

Kind of scared. My brain says no but my dick says yes.

>>676553242
>What is the scariest moment of your life?

Realizing that I was gay, or at least bi. I looked up cures and home remedies on google. Shortly afterwards I began crossdressing. Took me a few more years to just accept it after contemplating suicide a few times. Therapist didn't help at all.

>>676562353
You've led a very fortunate life, so far.

>>676562353
maybe not be a fat pig and exercise?

or stop being a pansy faggot and man up.

>>676553420
You should rape her.

>>676556263
Dogs have the power to destroy your hand in a second if they wanted to. They could rip apart your puby little body and end you. The only reason they don't is because they actually like you more than they like themselves. Kill yourself faggot.

>>676561484
>>676561484
Yeah man it's enough to kind of shake you up if you weren't born into that lifestyle. Similar thing happened to me when i was going to pick up my girlfriend and her friends from a coke dealers house, dude wanted my girl so eh comes out and starts screaming at me saying he's gunna shoot me and fucking kill me if i dont get the fuck away from his house. Scumbags tbh but those were some of the most fun times of my life

>>676561934
I think that's the cocaine doing that to you anon