>>676290574
Bump I'm here.

Self bump

>>676290789
Nice....should I greentext this? Will be OC so it may take a sec

>>676290941
Yeah greentext is all I will bump

>>676290941
I too want to hear...whatever experiences you've had.

>>676291031
Thanks bro....here goes....

>>676290574
Did you know there are 3 6's in the taco bel logo? one in the middle of the bell (yellow), one around it (pink) and one around the pink (purple)

taco bell uses the same ingredients for their taco shells that rubber manufacturers use in yoga mats

taco bell is literally satanic and you should stop eating their asap

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>>676291286
Holy shit...

>>676291286
lurrminaty confirm

>be me
>30 year old
>NEET
>be fucked up
>have real PTSD
>no bullshit accidental sex PTSD
>be me for last 5 years
>pillsforeverymeal.jpg
>fucking zombie
>decide to get better
>start smoking weed instead of pills

Go on

bamp

>decide I need a routine
>get up
>shower
>joint
>eat
>sometimes masterbate 2 or 3 times in between
>my dick was too raw to masterbate one day
>I had beat it for 6 hours the day before
>couldn't cum
>decide I need to get out of house
>go to Taco Bell high
>was so good I decide to do it everyday

bamping

bumpo

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>>676291286
just in case anyone missed the 6's

>start doing this everyday for 1.5 months
>really settled in
>this is really nice everyday
>have 2 regular orders
>3 double decker 3 nachos with 5 packs of fire sauce for each item
>or #5
>always get a strawberry freeze
>a nice life this is
>until one day...

Bomp

oh shit... shit gettting good

>>676293521
dis gonna be gud

ninja bump

Im not buying it.... bump.

>be me on the day I was challenged
>woke up like normal
>masterbate twice like normal
>shower like normal
>roll king-size fatty cone with some White widow in a juicy Jay wrapper
>my fupa is moistening at the though of that Taco release
>masterbate once more on my way to Taco Bell in my car
>smoke fatty after im done
>finish blazing it on the way there
>absolutely trashed
>same time I walk in every day
>new cashier
>wtf.dmg
>also a guy dressed similar to me
>eating a huge meal
>keeps looking around like a scared mouse
>look at his feet for some reason
>one of his boots has a sole on it that's like 9" tall
>realize he must an retard

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and then?

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>>676294887
fucking kek keep going

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>>676294887
more deets plox

>>676294887
mooaaar

>all of a sudden 2 grandparents come in (like every Wednesday)
>thus week they have granddaughter with them
>they call her Batgirl which disgusts me
>they don't know what they want
>fucking casuals
>just when I begin to forget about the retard he opens his mouth
>it speaks.mp3
>he begins saying chalupa really silently
>cha lup a
>chaaa. Luuuuuuuuu paaaaaaa
>getting louder
>I'm paranoid as shit at this point
>grandparents yelling at Batgirl because she wants strawberry freeze
>she looks longingly at mine
>I sip it
>retard over here is literally singing chalupa at an octave mariah carrey can't reach...

>>676296166
Holy shit hahahah

>>676296166
Yes. Yes. Go on.

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>be me
>be 19 going to college
>to become a substance abuse counselor
>job, car, and qt gf
>now look at me again
>i look like i got it all together right
>tfw lowkey smoke and pop opiate pills(oxy, vicodin, etc.)
>tfw cant make it through the day without it
>tfw my psyche is incompatible with our society
>tfw fake my emotions through everything i do
>no idea why im alive
>existational crisis every day
>sometimes wish i was NEET
>mfw i look like a functioning young adult on the outside but really a depressed drug addict on the inside

life is hard bros

>>676296738
Right? Why not end it?

>>676296738
>tfw cant make it through the day without it
what happens when you don't use opiates?

>batgirls's gerryatric fucking duo isn't even looking around to investigate
>the grandad says he's ready
>orders a god damned chalupa
>I can't fucking process
>Retard looks at me
>says I'm just like you
>picks up tray
>dumps it out in the floor
>manager yells what the fuck
>retard throws his tray at her
>call her a nigriss
>begins to run outside
>high heeled boot gets caught on something
>retard faceplants
>they call his family

Cont?

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>>676297298
I can't... I, no, I'm laughing too hard right now.

>>676290574
I mean you technically arnt NEET since you have a job...

>>676298103
he doesn't work at taco bell he just goes there every day

>>676298103
I don't have a job

>>676297797
Continue with retard or tell about another day?

>>676298365
another day

>>676298365
difficult decision actually your choice

Why is it that every time I order the Fiery Doritos Loco's supreme taco they never put sour cream on it? It's happened twice

>>676298365
continue

>>676298433
OK cool keep this thread alive seems to be dying

>>676298539
because of you face

>>676298597
well seems like some people want you to continue

>>676298539
this happened to me once, but with the nacho cheese one. did you go back and tell them?

>>676298539
Because you let it get to that level. Don't be such a baby back bitch. Also they make min wage and that's no real incentive to give a fuck

>>676298854
also this

bumper

>>676293521
whats a number 5 from taco bell

bamp

...retard continued...

>apparently retard had escaped home care
>no real evidence of retardation so far besides chalupa advertising but it worked so not really talking shit
>I don't need this retard to proffesor x me too
>police arrive before family
>retard is swinging his Megaboot at cops
> his jeans get ripped off in a scuffle
>he throws the boot and I shit you not it hits Batgirl
> policeman pulls out tazor
>tazes retard
>retard sprays diarrhea out like an octopus inking
>family pulls up at this exact moment
>naked shitty retard is being put in a squad car
>2 hambeasts start yelling at the cops about the retardation
>one of them gets tazes and both end up in same Sqaudcar as the shitty retard
>this is when I notice the retard is just staring at me
>get in my car
>Start to drive off
>retard is yelling that he will see me soon
>copaces him through the window
>hits the hbeasts too
>that's the last I saw of the retard

>>676299715
Nacho Bell grande and a Taco supreme

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>>676300533
Fuck man this is golden

but need more!

That's the end of the retard saga. I have other fast food stories, war stories, stoner stories, and other weird shit from my life but I type slow so I don't know if y'all want to stick around for it

>>676301127
more fast food stories

>>676300533
This can't be real.. but if the hambeasts really got fucked up I'll pretend like it actually happened.

>>676300533
oh. my. god. 10/10 anon. Idc if fake or just crazy story.

>>676298539

because they don't come supreme unless u ask u fucking idiot

>>676301231
I can tell you about the time when I broke down in a small town Hardy's and got diagnosed with PTSD

>>676301532
yeah that works

>>676301355
>>676301376
100℅ real but no proof. It happened so fast

>>676301577
OK bump for me plz

>>676291286
But I love the asap there

>>676293434
That purple one is hard to make out

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>>676298539
>Get it supreme or ask for sour cream
Sour cream doesnt cone on it homie

bampo

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>>676301843

ttt

bumpo

>be me
>just got back from first war
>just killing Haji and Habeeb for some keks
>boomoutoffuckingnowhere.kek
>rocket fired in and hits about 30 meters from me
>get a TBI and PTSD (not yet diagnosed)
>come home all amped up for no good reason
>start taking firewatch at night around the house
>exwife never wakes for her shift
>I never sleep because firewatch duty
>exwife (not divorced at the time) says she thinks I need help
>tell her that would be nice if she starts pulling her firewatch
>she says help like a doctor
>whatevsbitch.bat
...cont....

>>676303086
wait first war?

>>676303531
nevermind i got it

to the top

>ask what she wants
>Hardy's
>burgers for breakfast,breakfast all day
>suggests I should go get it
>she was staging intervention but I didn't know
>take off to Hardy's still dogshit drunk
>(I drink military special whiskey during my firewatches)
>order sausage egg and cheese biscuit for exwife
>order me a double bacon cheeseburger, only ketchup on it
>gives me my order
>glance in bag no biscuit
>correct lady behind counter
>takes another 5 mins but I get the biscuit...

Cont...

to the top.

Ima bumping nigggggggggga

bumppin

>>676290574
Someone screen shot this hahaha

>>676304921
i did im laughing so hard that im crying on the taco bell story

>take my drunken bounty to my truck
>sleepy and drunk from firewatch
>decide to eat my burger on the way
>get it out
>doesn't feel right
>open wrapper
>literally 2 buns with ketchup
>no fucks left to give
>drunk and furious
>I walk back in
>go behind counter
>I scream who made this burger?
>snoopdog looking fucker claims he made this
>"that was m....."
>slap the ketchup side of the bread against the side of his head
>he flips out
>comes at me with his spatula
>kick a mop bucket under him to trip him up
>disarm him
>people are fleeing the store at this point

>>676305209
keep it going. your stories are like a fine wine

>cops show up
>I get tazed 4 times (really drunk)
>taken to the station
>whole family shows up because I missed intervention
>they had gotten worried and calling hospitals and the police
>get released into care of doc
>find out I have PTSD
>start taking all the pills
>no more fire watch

>>676306108
danm man

Is it strange that everytime you mention firewatch, i think of the game and you performed tasks that you do in the game

>>676306108
so it's safe to say that the PTSD was a factor in the divorce?

bampo

>>676306666

>>676306294
>The judge dropped all my charges >asked me to apologize to the guy I assaulted.
>have to be escorted into Hardy's by the same policeman that kept taking me
>faggot detected
>manager brings nigger to the booth I'm at with the cop
>cop asks if there is something I'd like to say
>nod yes
>look nigger in the eye
>I'm sorry you can't do your job correctly and you had to get bitch slapped with your own ketchup bun creation.
>cop places me under arrest for refusing court order
>spent week in jail
>not so bad

>>676306694
No...me fucking other women was a major factor I believe

>>676307341
dude wtf? hahaha

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>>676307341

Any other requests? I have plenty of weird shit that happens to me.

>>676308024
what's the weirdest?

>>676308300
Probably getting raped by this fatass chick while a couple of my classmates watched

>>676308300
I can elaborate if you want but I don't remember it, I just know what I was told

>>676308850
hmm no thanks then if you don't know exactly what happened. uhh, any interesting sex stories?

>>676308981
One sticks out from the summer after I graduated high school I'll green text it but we need some bumps to keep this thread alive

>>676308629
that sounds interesting. tell it pls

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ALL HAIL THE BEEFY CRUNCH BURRITO!!!!!

IT RETURNZ NEXF MONTH!

JOIN THE BEEFY CRUNCH MOVEMENT ON FACEBOOK!!!

>be me
>senior year in highschool
>taking Spanish 2
>go to all white private school
>new Spanish teacher
>chubby cutie from Mexico on Visa
>5/10 but that accent though
>speak the best Spanish in class
>held back after class a couple times a week
>she makes it sound serious in front of everyone but she is just lonely and I pay her a lot of attention
>find out she is 22
>her likes and dislikes
>and eventually she invites me to go out to eat with her

>>676293434
the yellow ones a "g" not a 6

bampo

to the top

>>676310266
Yo OP, I respect you and Imma let you finish, but...
>chubby cutie
>5/10
Pick one /b/ro.

>>676310834
some 5s are pretty cute not op btw

>eating at authentic Mexican joints like every day
>one day we get totally smashed
>she tells me about a man she has to marry in Mexico
>wtf.jpg
>invites me to her apt to talk about it
>talk for a bit
>things escalating
>she takes my cock out
>it's hard as a rock in her hand
>right before it goes in her mouth she begins to cry and says she can't.....

>>676310834
It was he accent and the fact she was older. I was only 17. Continuing though

>>676311103
blue balls

>>676311255
Fair enough dubs-God, I'll check my autism.

>>676310634
looks 6

bamps

to the top

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>>676300533
>retard sprays diarrhea out like an octopus inking

>start losing interest and chasing other tail because hormones
>any girls in my class caught talking to me start failing
>Yuli finally gets audited because enough girls complained.
>she loses her job and visa
>she has to go home early
>calls me from Mexico and invites me to her wedding
>says I can travel with a friend she made here
>meet the friend
>7/10 but staying in hotel in room next to me
>Go to some nice bar called Harry's

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>>676312422
How the fuck did this take you 12 minutes to type?

>>676312605
hes typing from his phone slowly

>2 for 1 martini night
>get fucked up with Yuli and her friend
>big ass club starts spraying bubbles everywhere
>Mesa Que Mas Aplauda plays like 270 times on repeat
>Yuli's and her friend take me to the dance floor
>we all end up pretty wet because of all the bubbles
>Haley lifts her skirt while we are dancing
>she gets between Yuli and I and guides our hands into her panties
>I'm ready to cum buckets

bampp

>>676313272
bumping

hope i dont fall asleep kinda wanna see this story

>Yuli smiles and takes us out to the car
>Yuli is driving and Haley and I are in the back
>She tells Haley to go ahead and make me cum before we get to the hotel so I can recoup and last longer
>Haley takes off her little skirt and I think I'm finally going to get some pussy
>instead she staddles and just jerks me off
>I cum so hard it leaves a rope all the way up on my shoulder