>>676164527
I was yawning the entire time.

>>676164670

Normally Easter is at least an entertaining service.


You probably went to Westboro

I don't believe the in the resurrection.

>>676164527
didn't go but like my parents said it was cool

>>676164527
They talked about Easter as if it was a Roman Christian holiday and not the traditional Roman pagan springtime rebirth and fertility rite known as eostre, a celebration of the return of the sun of life, of second comings, for which the direction "east" was named, the direction in which the sun arises each day.

At church, they seemed to think it had something to do with the son arising and returning to life, for some reason.

Lol

>>676165231
>"these Christians aren't even aware they're worshipping the sun" - Thomas Jefferson

File: image.jpg (30 KB, 297x350) Image search: [Google]

30 KB, 297x350

I died and came back to life, you faggots.

File: 1310565585978.jpg (34 KB, 400x400) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 400x400

>>676164527
>He is risen indeed!
Boring as usual

File: afb612cd3e55ef3d0770eaf23bf6318a.jpg (14 KB, 204x320) Image search: [Google]

14 KB, 204x320

Tmw you realize you're worshipping a zombie

He is born I get presents
He dies I get candy

>>676164527
>He is risen.

Yeah, about four feet.

>>676165231
>people everywhere
>millennia of experience looking for patterns in nature & studying how the world actually works
>know they are part of it
>celebrate the enjoyable constructive bits
>protect themselves from the hard bits
>monotheist cult formed by dumbass pharaoh in Egypt
>go build their own city and take off with all the money to amarna
>pharaoh killed, son says fuk u Jews, gtfo
>Jews take the money
>get kicked out of a hundred civilizations
>land in Rome
>we'll take ur money,
>ok but you have to replace your culture with ours
>welllll... how bout we start with the money
>ok, we'll work the rest in slowly
>no one knows shit about natural world
>everyone worships human gods
>everyone lives in artificial environment
>everyone living in cities stuck in Bronze Age mindset ever since

>>676164527
>He has risen /b!
You say that like it just happened.
You are aware the bible is not taking place in real time, correct? And that church is not live reality television.

>>676164527

Nazareth, Im fucked up, you fucked up, but if God got us then we gon be alright.

First seat in the first pew pew pew

File: Jesus-Picture-On-The-Cross-It-Is-Finished-Crucifixion-Wallpaper.jpg (525 KB, 1280x1024) Image search: [Google]

525 KB, 1280x1024

You don't know Him? That's my Father.

I didn't go. Gay men aren't so welcome at church, you know?

File: 1158290278070.jpg (109 KB, 787x484) Image search: [Google]

109 KB, 787x484

HAPPY ZOMBIE JESUS DAY

>>676170146
no

>>676170146
TAKE ME TO CHURCH

>>676171142
No what?
>>676171451
I don't wanna. C'mere instead

>>676171618
you got both responses wrong jesus dfuck u retard

File: 61dzuawJFwL._SL500_AA280_.jpg (27 KB, 280x280) Image search: [Google]

27 KB, 280x280

>>676165231
Be careful, if you tip your fedora any further, it might capsize.

Church?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNxgYot0S6Q

>>676164527
take this red pill anon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jOzCMy9e5E

>>676164527
Was nice, the church put on a play written by the pastor acting out Jesus' ministry, crucifixion, & resurrection

>>676164527
>Monday
>Really boring at school
>Doing calculus
>EndMe.jpeg
>Bell Rings
> oh fuck yes
> history
> 2 8/10 chicks
> Sit near both of them
> Plans on asking one of them out
> Oh niggerballs
> the taco bell I had for lunch is striking back
> OhFuckNigger.pdf
> Farts
> 723 decibels
>Windows bust
> Phone screens bust
>Teachers computer monitor fucking SHATTERS
>TheStench.bit
>Run out of classroom
>Jump from 4th floor to 3rd floor
>Almost dead
>Gathers strength to get up and look down to the 2nd floor
>Ghost of Billy Mays comes out of the wall
>But wait, there's more!
>Billy returns to human form
>Drops me down
>Dead
I fell down the red stairwell, which had red walls. The red was fading, but Billy repainted it with my blood. Billy Mays became a ghost.
>Is a ghost
>goes home
>I hear of a new website being created
Tumblr<
>Haunts Tumblr
>SJWs
>Furries
>Emos
>Feminists
>Fags
>Leftists galore

And that is how Tumblr became what Obi-Wan Kenobi would call "the most wretched hive of scum and villainy"