>>676116874
Hell it is

Kek

I just want eternity with Selena Gomez and just being happy with her

I want to have sex with children and never get into troublefor it

>>676117546
At least you tried, but when you get the to hell. Big, strong and 16 inches long demon dong will be waiting to plug you.

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>>676116874
I want the power of Dr.manhattan from watchmen

>>676116874
I wish to be a super saiyan

I want the ability to cure diseases that have no known cures or are incurable to help people.

I want her to be mine

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I want to outlaw the number 4 from everywhere.

>>676118955
its a deal John

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>>676116874

I want 4 cocks and 4 mistresses to tend to each cock's need

>>676116874
Send me back up and Make me the best fucking musician that ever lived

>>676116874

I would ask for the opportunity to challenge death in games such as battleship, clue, and twister in attempt to go to heaven and rescue the princesses

>>676119997

So close

Let me room with hitler

>>676116874
i want to succeed at everything. everything i do and say "i will succeed at this" i succeed

>>676119844
Sorry old sport, the number 3+1 is outlawed forever.

>>676119844
Look out your window

Peter Stormare RULES THE UNIVERSE

Rolling for eternal demon sex

I want to be the new devil.

I just want her back.

Give me the power to control luck. I can influence chance and probability in all my actions

>>676120155
thats a shit request
>>676120063
rerolling this

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>>676120445
fml reroll

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>>676116874
If I'm dead, why would he offer me a deal? Don't be stupid anon

>>676120443
>off by one
Now that's the sort of unlucky shit I'm talking about

Can I be Justin Bebier ? I will let niggers with fat juicy 12 inches of depth stretch me

I want to use lucifer's mouth as my personal toilet for all of eternity

I want all the knowledge of the whole universe

>>676120550
He comes to you when your dead you dumb fuck, get with the program

I just want the pain to leave.

Can I just cease to exist? Or be reborn as a farmer, or some shit, something simple with very little complications. That sounds nice.

>>676121045

Fuck this im rerolling.

>>676121149

PLEASE I JUST DONT WANNA EXIST

>>676121319

NAH

REROLLING AGAIN

>>676121357

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING, JUST LET ME SLEEP THE LONG SLEEP

>>676120550
Read that in Kurt Russell. Nicely played sir.

I want access to enough funds to do whatever I want for as long as I want.

Mr. Devil, I want your job.

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I bet you can't drag me to hell. If you do, I win and get to rule hell for eternity. If you don't I suffer in heaven.

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>>676116874
Once had a dream were I was in my backyard and it was my backyard not a dream backyard. It was so fucking bright like I was really there mid day. Maybe astral travel is real. Trippy as shit. These 4 demons made of fire approach me and hand me a piece of notebook paper with a bunch of shit written on it. They said I have to do everything on there or they will take me with them. I didn't even look at it and dropped it right in front of them like a boss.

GET ON MY LEVEL!!!

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>>676121822
The devil says deal and gets on your level. You both are now socially inept beta males surfing the internet in their mom's basement.

GJ anon.

I want to live again and never die and have all the powers of Superman

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>>676121028
Well your mom comes to me when you're asleep and I part her furry valley like Moses, but you don't see me bitching about it.

I want every ounce of footage and original drawing of everything lewd that has been produced in Japan without their crazy censorship laws.

>>676116874
some chocolate milk plz, Lucifer

>>676116874
Lucifer, remember that deal with Bruce in the movie Bruce Almighty, the one he had with God? Well, I want that deal with you.

Gas all the jews.

I don't want anything

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>>676122420
Well I don't care about that cause my moms a complete whore so I could care less, but you know who should be caring ?

You because I'm fucking your little sister tight pussy every night while your family is a sleep. Her tiny breaths on my neck make me diamonds. Here nails digging in my back tells me she wants it deeper. Her legs rapping around my waist tells me not to stop. The come dripping from her premature pussy tells me I did something right.


You sir need to go to sleep so I could that tight ass of hers again. And again

>>676122979
cool story. enjoy hell.

>>676123126
Lucifer, make this anon your bitch, please.

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>>676123126
I think you've got severe mental and behavioral problems anon.

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Shape shifting, Spiderman's powers and also a vampire, immortal vampire... No fucking sparkles. And also my blood is dank weed nutrients.

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>>676123443

>>676123126
>deeper
virgin
>>676123443
>>676123474
newfags

pretty standard /b/ ratio these days.

>>676123624
Rollio

>>676123624
Rollllll

>>676123624
Rrrrrrooo-000000llLll

>>676123624
Fucking give dubs

>>676123654
Newfag acting like old fag

GTFO and go back to 9gag or reddit, anywhere but here

You guys, just stop save earth the time and kys

>>676123624
Giiiiive them to meeee

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OP to kill himself

>>676123624
I'm just gunna keep going.

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>>676124026
newfag lashes out in anger after being called a newfag. plz don't be mad @ me.

>>676124156
It's not ment to be my friend

>>676123624
Keep on rolling... Rolling... Roooooolling....

>>676116874
i want a stable job in hell, as the bouncer to the demons only strip club

>>676124365
too bad. you lose the hell and are now a demonic jizz rag at the demon gay bars.

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>>676124219
I think the only newfag here is you, buddy...and your phone is dead, by the way.

>>676121398
I will be praying for you tonight

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>>676124270
>>676123624
But I've been so close... I just want to be immortal... The secret goal of all juggalos... And also to get dubs for Satan... Roooooll

>>676124219
I've been here for 7 years, I think I have a right. I know when I see a retarded autist

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>>676124630
>>676124219

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>>676124270
>>676124611
>>676123624
I fucking did it, hard work pays off ,bby

>>676124611
Congrats you win the thread my lord, please kill off the reddit, 9gag, feministnazis, autistics, Muslims and niggers

>>676116874
Money

>>676116874
I want to go to Heaven

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>>676125004
>>676124611
>>676124270
>>676123624
You fucking know I will

>>676116874
>>676116874

SOLD MY SOUL LIKE 5 YEARS AGO... I would like to renegotiate ...I still haven't gotten my million dollars

I actually go back to hell with him, but every other wednesday we switch places, he gets tortured and I run hell.

>>676125222
>>676125333
>why can't I hold all these trips

>>676116874
Dear Lord Satan, I would like to be resurrected or reincarnated into a new body and have great eloquence and leadership qualities. In addition to this I would like to be your current candidate for the anti-christ.
Do this for me and I will convince every religious person in the world to denounce their various gods and unite under a single banner.

If not dubs, still Hail Satan

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>>676125004
And also today is my birthday. 3-27-1993 all the numbers of my birthday are divisible by eatchother. So at 10:57 pm. 23 years ago... A terrible plauge was released unto the earth. Justin Michael ennen. Awesome.

>>676116874
I want to be in a universe full of furries in my next life.

>>676125937
Its pronounced "N-N"

>>676116874
god tier portrayal of our lord and savior

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>>676125827
How about I send you to the hell when people are skinned alive? How would you like that, eh?

>>676126383
Its finitch for "before"

i AM Lucifer, motherfucker.

>>676125937
1993 is not divisible by 3. Request denied

I want someone to truly love me

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>>676126737
Buuut, 1 9 3 all are divisible. And 27. So fuck a duck.

>>676126844
I'm sorry, your search request has timed out. Please change your search parameters and try again and your earliest convenience.

>>676127080
You said by each other, not just by 3. And if you're going to look at individual digits, 7 is not divisible by 2 or 3 and 9 is not divisible by 2 or 7

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>>676127264
Well I never said I was any good at math I just see a corilation. Fucking scientists on /b/, I am but a lowly wizard.

>>676127486
>corilation
Apparently you're not good at English either. Stay is school, kids.

>>676127722
Oh geez, go fuck ur dog.

Ultimate power

>>676127722
On /b/ checking grammar... Get a life m80.

>>676127997
Check dubs instead faggot