I'd hit it.....with my car.

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>>676002833
me too!

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>>676003413

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>>676003540

>>676003413
i'd fuck her while blasting some bowie as im blacked out

I once swiped right on a 62 year old lady.

She didn't swipe me back...

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>>676003730

>>676003743
I really tried but I couldn't get her to meet me. Then I saw her on the train but seeing her in reality scared the shit out of me.

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>>676003840

where are these chicks from Chernobyl

>>676004166
Did you mean to add a comma and a question mark?

>>676003953
i don't blame you. i assume the second pic is when you saw her?

I wish someone would swipe me right

>>676004739
Yeah. Couldn't get pics from a better angle but there was no mistaking it, it was her. God damn she looked scary. She was pretty tall too.

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>>676004957

>>676004274
I think it was a /r/equest.

search redtube for girl from chernobyl for a good time.

>>676005073
I wont give up for both of us!

>>676002181
Would fug...

Clothed, of couse.

>>676005242
I've not had any issues finding girls on tinder. I don't get why you would have such an issue though, I'm a 3/10.

>ITT : lonely, angry little boys without noticeable future who like to embarrass other people because they secretly hate themselves

You're like the weird people i run past every single day in this small village right here ... basically, you're on the lowest level you possibly can be -- and you refuse to climb up.

>>676003730
Something is ... Strangely erotic about her face

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>>676003730
Bitch looks like Mama

>>676004957
I got a lot of matches, but I haven't talked to them.

>>676005402
same. i'm roughly the same tier of attractiveness and i'm a few shy of 100 matches in ~3 months

>>676004020
Would anal/10

>>676005402
Maybe its related to the women around me, maybe the right one isnt on tinder yet.

>>676002181
Why did you even turn your settings up to 51 years old....

>>676005012
damn man. i like black haired women and tall ones but not a combo of the both. she should become a witch and worship the dark lord

>>676005472
Welcome to /b/ newfriend.

>>676003413
Genuinely fucking terrifying. It looks like an alien that has stolen the body of a seventy year old woman and doesn't know what to do with itself.

>>676005560
Why not?

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>>676005772
... any questions, newcomer?

>be swiping right on tinder
>find semi attractive albeit slightly overweight match
> give no fuck, I'm on a dry spell
>decide to meet at local eatery and bar
>"I'll meet you at 630 anon"
>see massive land whale walk by through window
>ohjesusfuckitsher.jpeg
>frantically think about running out the back in a blur of half drunken fury
>decide to man the harpoon instead
>"barkeep, 4 shots of tequila stat!"
>get this look like "ok, you filthy drunk. It's 635, calm down"
>immediately slam 4 shots right before seapig sits down
>bartender realizes why I just did what I did
>starts laughing uncontrollably and excuses himself to the back
>take fatty mcthunderthighs back to her place for protected drunken sex
>leave her place covered in shame glaze
>return to local eatery next day where same bartender is working
>favorite beer shoved in my face even before asking for it
>bartender is laughing, knucks given and says "fat girls need love too, right?"

dude ended up becoming one of my best friends. Went to fight in Afghanistan for the army. Killed by ied. I miss that fucker.

>>676003730
>>676003840
>>676004020
All Swedish chicks. Ew.

>>676005919
I'm a pussy

>>676005624
You're not likely to find "the right one" on tinder. It's just an app for finding people who wants to fuck.

>>676005582
It's incredibly easy. Just get a few photos that shows off your better angles and assets, don't write cringey shit in your description and you wont have any issues getting matches.

>>676005708
She's obviously a witch already. Not even sure it's a woman now that I've seen her up close.

I'd fuck anyone, for some reason I just like having sex with ugly people, its like an addiction, besides at least you get the benefit of getting what you want cause no one else would fuck them

>>676006062
Why are you afraid? Of what are you afraid?

>>676004957
you'd be lucky if someone wiped you off their shoe anon

>>676006062
Just write "do you want to fuck".

>>676006132
Maybe in your area. I heard here its not.

>>676005402
>>676005242
>>676005073
I don't know how it work on u country/region.

On my region, womans mind are even worse cus overrated shit. A 6/10girls only swipe right 8+/10 boys. And this escalate.

A not soo long trip out of my state, got easily matches with cuter grills.

Maybe you guys are fishing on a swamp.

Travel, boys.

>>676006181
I don't know.

>>676006292
They'd say no. Also why would I wanna fuck?

>>676006256
What makes you think that?

>>676006181
not him, but i've been publicly mocked by women almost daily for the last ~15 years. constantly being rejected and treated poorly does a lot of damage to confidence, friend. he's probably pretty similar, to an extent.

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>>676006002
thats a good story

I barely ever get any matches on Tinder. Suppose that saves me the trouble of horror stories.

>>676006387
Well think about what scares you first then. Ignore everything till you can answer me that.

>>676006298
>>676006323
I live in Stockholm and have set the distance to include the outer parts of the city. Maybe girls from Stockholm have low standards in general. I'm not going to complain though.

>>676006432
That can be an answer but you dont know the guy so dont assume untill you know his story.

>>676006008
It's the same girl retard

>>676006387
>Also why would I wanna fuck?
Why use tinder then?

>>676006697
Lucky you, makes me jelly.

>>676006777
To get a gf

>>676006132
yeah prob a dude or some schizo chick. you dodged a bullet either way, anon

>>676006574
I really don't know. I'm not really scared, I just don't know what to say.

>>676006777
Holy trips says I wanna fuck.
Also this.
>>676006964

>>676006964
Then do yourself a favor and don't use tinder. It's a waste of your time.

>>676007121
Then what should i do?

>>676005541
No there isn't, she's disguisting

>>676006981
I wouldn't have cared either way, would just have been a fun thing to have done. I'm kinda disappointed tbh.

>>676007096
Pick one of your matches, whats the first thing you notice when you look at the profile?

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"Fun and literate"

>>676007211
Go and watch Simple Pickup on yt. Guys might help you find some answers. Worked for me

>>676006002
You too?
This happened to me yesterday.

>finds slight chubby on tinder
>on RL, i would roll her like a snowball.
>still fucked her for hours
>still feelling shame for walk around with a meatplanet

>>676007211
I recommend okcupid. large ratio of girls of all shapes and sizes youll find someone. just read her profile comment on something about it.

>>676006002
the same happened to except we sat in a sofa, talking about politics and studies for 1 hour before I told her I needed to go.
>took one hour for me to softly get outta that mess, not sure how many lies I pulled towards the door.

>>676007351
>looks like you are into metal and other hard stuff?

>>676007121
Start conversations with girls irl. On the workplace, friends of friends, out on the street etc.
All you really have to do is to go outside, be social and most importantly, not weird.

>>676007314
She's underage, has brazzers and lives far away from me

>>676007453
Dant have that in germany as far as i can recall.

>>676007351
Would fuck that pig in a heartbeat.

>>676002181
fat people need lovin too. they'll not get any from me, but somebody somewhere would be willing.

>>676007381
I dont think my appearance is suitable for such an approach yet. I feel the need to lose more weight than i already have before attempting something like that

>>676007516
Quoted myself, meant to quote >>676007211

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>>676007626

>>676007571
>hi, wow you live so far away and we still matched? How did that happen?

>>676007819
The nastier the better.

>>676007516
Dont have many social contacts after spending over 8 years excessively playing wow. Already exhausted my work contacts. And i feel i havent lost enough weight yet to go out clubbing etc

How do you guess get hook ups on tinder? I got tons of matches in 30 minutes of having this app, just don't know how to hook up. Do you just straight up ask do you wanna fuck?

>>676003730
Looks like that dude on facebook that photoshopped himself blowing up the white house.
I can't think of his name

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Now this bitch speaks to my heart

>>676007298
no... becoming a fag is something you never come back from. no, I would not know. I dated a schizo woman before though... insanely amazing... it' pretty good. but... not worth it, overall. don't get down. there's a lot of crazy women out there :)

>>676008160
Thats easy
>hey how about i treat you to some wine and catnip and we figure out whos your daddy.

>>676007867
>Starting with a question.

>>676006697
Looks like stockholm its a plenty fish lake.

>>676007351
"if you loves metal, here is heavy stuff for you".

>>676007491
Why not just fuck her and gtfo?

>>676008067
That sounds exactly like me 4 years ago. I went back to school and met new people there, got a new job and met even more. Started going to parties and started dating.
There is still hope, anon. You need to create new situations in where you meet new people.

>>676008363
Sparks up a conversation, from there on it only gets easier.

Whats your approach? Maybe thats better than mine.

>>676003413
>>676003540
>>676003623
That's a man

>>676008386
I mean, I'd try it. I'm that desperate...

>>676008370
>Looks like stockholm its a plenty fish lake.
And i'm like the blondest and whitest person there is. Who would have thought that swedish girls would pick me over good looking sand niggers?

>>676008386
Hi, like your pic. What is starwars trash?

>>676008386
>"...i also feminist".
DANM... I was about to marry her and she just fucked up everything. In the trash its goes.

>>676003413
solid 8 in britain

>>676008386
Would not hesitate to fuck. It's easy to bullshit about feminism.

>>676008417
Thats what i aim for as soon as i reach the apropriate looking point but untill then just trying tinder cant hurt i guess

>>676007351
>Fordham University
>ham University
>ham

>>676008493
>Whats your approach? Maybe thats better than mine.
I have none.

>>676008370
her body was like a barrel bro, literally no curves, tits, ass nothing.. just a mass.
couldnt fuck her.

>>676008905
I guess that makes just asking better than not engaging a conversation. Please tell me though when you have one that works. Always looking to learn more.

>>676008905
Just say:
-Hi, goodnight
-where you from?

>>676009161
Do i say both?

>>676008864
But I was a fat ass too. I was 230 at my heaviest and felt like shit about it. Don't let that stop you from meeting people. Meeting people actually motivated me to loose the weight.

>>676009161
>goodnight

>>676009294
The motivation to lose weight is there and im going twice per week to a gym and im following a low carb diet plan. It just takes a bit of time to get there.

>>676009368
>31
>wants bb inside finish

shes tryna get benefits lads

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>match with moderately attractive red neck chick
>she is super forward, gives me her number and wants to meet up within about 3 hours of matching
>sweet
>drive out to her place in bumblefuck PA with a six pack and a DVD
>as I'm getting out of my car some jacked dude on an ATV comes ripping up her driveway
>apparently she has a bf
>apparently he is a marine
>apparently he wants to rearrange my face
>oops
>he starts slapping her around and shit
>I take my opportunity and leave
>look over my shoulder and they're making out and crying
>mfw

Still not really sure what the fuck happened that day

>>676008386
I love feminist pussy.

>>676009368

Ok i take the job.
Weird as fuck but im okay with it.

>>676009368
holy fuck sprint 3g...fuck that is awful

>>676009368
Search no more, i can help you with your dream.

>>676008386
Id give it a shot. I mean im mtf trans so that's probably a plus in her book.

>>676009596
Two people who need drama in their lives so they don't get bored with each other/10

>>676009528
Well at least you're going in the right direction. I wish you good luck, anon. Don't give up!

>>676009983
Thank you.

>>676009686
>Caitlyn Jenner detected

>>676009285
Yes.
>Say the first one:
>she reply someshit
>ask her something, or say something nice
>she replys another shit
>say that u2 would meet irl
>if yes, you have a date, if not, no worth waste you fingers talking with a teaser

>>676003413
Haha en svensk?

>>676006002
That was an unexpected twist ending

>>676009686
Post some pics of yourself, for satans sake!

>>676003623
Aaah Stockholms tunnelbana

>>676006002
Yeah dude that's online dating for you. Always assume an extra 10-25% body weight. Happens to me all the time, I'm a chubby chaser but there are some places even I won't go.

>>676010096
Well thats also just asking a question to start the conversation.

>>676010115
Hon/han/den såg snarare ut som något annat än människa så jag vet inte om man kan klassa det som svensk.
Det bor i Flemingsberg i alla fall.

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>>676007096
>I just don't know what to say
http://www.thecoreofattraction.com/how-to-talk-to-girls/

>>676010200
Nope, pendeltåg.

>>676009686
shut up, caitlyn

>>676010390
Id swipe that right

>>676010393
Thanks lad.

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>>676003730

>>676007351
Slam piggy, i'd hit it

>>676002181
You seem to be a good healthy person, and you have a fantastic sense of humor.

> no sex in like 4 years
> all my relationships failed horribly
> i once kissed the girl but ended up sleeping on the couch because i was too beta to initiate
> desesperate to get laid
> create tinder account
> find a fat girl, this should be easy
> indeed it is, the next night im driving to her place
> as soon as I get in she start kissing me and making out with me
> she has massive tits, this should be good
> start undress her..
> ohshit
> finaly i dont think i am that much into fat girls
> she start rubbing me and blowing me
> i just want to leave but im too beta
> she ask me to .. lick her
> i lick her pussy, it tastes sour, i still remember the smell
> i want to leave please
> she open her legs and press them on each side of herself
> her pussy is wild open ''fuck me anon''
> i start fucking her
> i feel sad
> she cums then i cum inside her
> we both lay in beg
> i cant stop starring at her disgusting body
> what have i done
> ''anon i really like you and i know its just a one night stand but i would like to know you better''
> y-yes sure it's a great idea
> i feel like i got raped
> she falls asleep and i leave

>>676010553
np

>>676010553
also
http://www.thecoreofattraction.com/topics-to-talk-about-with-a-girl/

>>676010925
Omfg
I made that mistake too
Except I bailed when she tried to suck my dick and I couldn't get hard
I had to pull over and puke on my way home
From that point on I only fucked skinnys and mild chubbies

>>676010925
Now that's a horror story

>>676010925
almost similar to when I lost virginity

>>676011668
>American women in a nutshell

>>676011668
Was that shit taken in an elevator? My god.

>>676006002
saved, didnt know this was a feels :(

>>676011668
Fucking kek

>>676011668
Dear god.

>>676011668
How could she have gotten this big in only 21years?

>>676006002
came for a laugh, left with a tear

>>676012051
Mexicans

>match with 8/10
>she initiates tinder convo
>she gives me her number
>she says we should get coffee, I agree
>she basically implies she will have sober afternoon sex with me after our date
>next day I give her a time and place to meet
>that was 26 hours ago
>still no reply

This is a bad feel. I don't know what I did wrong. She probably started chatting with someone more handsome/interesting after I went to sleep and decided to meet with him instead.

>>676012051
Omfg