be you...dont ask /b/ for help...you already fucked it up by posting that shit here

"I like you a lot, Ingrid. I want to meet up with you. When would you be willing to do so? I want to take you out on the best date of your life."

>>675451186
This

>>675451024
she's insane

>>675451188
Dubs win

Just keep going, be friendly in a way that's natural and comfortable.

Honestly is a female likes you all you have to do is not fuck that up for a while until you can get her alone an make a move.

Just ask her: so when?

>>675451024

Dude, she's either damaged goods or she wants to cheat on her current beta. Run.

>>675451024
ask her if she likes anal

>>675451188
dubs=truth

>>675451188
Cringe ass mother fucker

>>675451024
NO NO the pleasure is mine the fuck do you wear a fedora fag

>>675451496
ignore the permavirgin

Can we get a pic of her OP? Full size one.

>>675451024
DONT ASK FUCKING /b/

Just treat it like a FRIENDSHIP.
Be OPEN, be HONEST, be GENUINE.
Everything else will come naturally - just dont hide your true feelings if the situation COMES UP NATURALLY

>>675451521
this guys getting girls and your a basement dweller please leave this thread

if dubs then "In return let me enjoy the pleasure of cumming inside of you"

>>675451535

Your funeral, OP.

>>675451521
>27/f/cali

>>675451658
anon is right just this exit /b/ now

Lets do it then, i come over, we cook some pasta and we watch a movie?

>>675451024
say this
>can we just like... fuck or something

>>675451024
"You're the cutest man I've ever seen. I can't wait for us to trade rusty trombones :*"

>>675451521
Fuck you, bitch. I'm trying to get OP a bitch.

>>675451706
rolling

>>675451024
Come on babe, I will be your white knight when the dark knight rises, I will appreciate you as you appreciate my input, I will care for you and your feelings, I will never pick a twelvie over you, i will supply you with compliments to provide the confidence to post your tits to me, come with me on this journey, be my sugerhoneyplum, i love like a fat kid loves cake, you know my style I'll say anything to make you smile, be mine, allow me to be yours, i know i will wake up rock solid tomorrow after dreaming of you all night, tell me you love me, or i will punish you, i have a dungeon, i will strap you to my machines and whip you as you scream in uncontrollable pleasure, i will touch you in places you didn't know existed, i will pleasure you in ways you never thought possible, be mine, and post your tits. Amen.

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>>675451774
This, along with pic related

>>675451760
Girls are sluts, they just dont like people assume it. 9/10 times your line would not work.

Take a more discreet choice like>>675451735 but ask for netflix
You both will know its fucking afterward.

>>675451760
virgin beta detected

>>675451024
When I was 5 I had a dog named jack, absolutely loved this dog, an old beagle, but not sick or anything, just old (10).
One Saturday, mum takes us (me and my older sisters) to the park. Get home as usual I go to play with Jack, cant find Jack, run around the house calling him, nowhere to be seen. Dad tells me to come inside (he's kinda angry at me) there's a fucking cake on the table and three bottles of soft drink (we were broke, we never got this shit) I say I cant find the Jack. Dad tell me he's dead. I asked how, dad says he put him down. I said with what? (thinking vet euthanasia right?) he says 'rifle'.
Me-what, you sold your rifle you don't have one anymore?
Dad- I borrowed a friends.
Me- you borrowed a friends rifle to shoot my dog?
Dad- yes now sit down and have some cake.
I go screaming into my room and didn't come out or stop crying for like 2 weeks because i never got to say goodbye and my dad shot my fucking dog.

You're being a fedora tipper and she's still in. You've got her and don't even know it.
Just keep up the epic gentleman of euphoria attitude, she clearly thinks it's cute.

No sane person says what she just said in that pic. Be very fucking careful

>>675451931
>Girls are sluts, they just dont like people assume it. 9/10 times your line would not work.

this anon knows whats up

>>675451024
I'll dig my cock into you to the max, kiddo.

>>675451735
This is the way to go.

>>675451024
Set up a date you sperglord and bike to her

>>675452014
Fuck her!
>then be careful :)

>>675451774
reroll

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Alright so /b/ I'll set this disclaimer now

She basically asked to be tipped a fedora. So I did.

>>675451024
Netflix and chill

>>675451024
>to the max
>`thatss my nickname, m'lady'

Seems alright, but a name like Ingrid, what is this 1800's England?

>>675451024
/b/ yourself

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>>675452014
Tinder girls are insane. Screenshot related .. tell me if it would be worth it for you.
She was actually even more crazy in person.

>>675452171

Holy fuck how are you not cringing at this? "Vegan sausages". OP you really ought to just fuck her and then get out. Bike over there, give her the D, and then bail.

>>675452171
COOK PASTA FFS

>>675452171
Ahah holy fuck you are being played.

Bitch must be getting kicked out of her current living space

>>675452171
Vegan sausages...

ABORT.

>>675451524
this

>>675451886
Topkek

>>675452171
See... This right here? Perfect opportunity to throw in a cheeky 'Vegan Sausages?! I think you'd prefer my meaty one.'

But you don't have the stones, do you OP?

>>675452171
I'm here to save the day.

I respect your food choice but I rather have my food as my pussy, meaty

>>675452453
Depends, if op is vegan, better to pair them up together, like pigs to the slaughter

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>>675452338
Explain more. She looks hot

>>675452171
This soon to be homeless vegan bitch wants the D. Fuck her face and then leave immediately.

>>675451886
Good stuff, do this op

>>675452338
So she's a little quirky.
Totally worth it.
I jacked off to a girl blowing a dog last night and I'm not even a qt, but I still pretend to be normal.

>>675451024
asking /b/ for dating advice? too late. you're fucked.

>>675452026
>>675451931
These anons know what's up

>>675452338
worthit/10 would get all my shit vandalized again

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She's 19 /b/
Holy shit is she cumming on fast though.

>>675452828
Damn OP. You've found the one.

>>675452338
So you actually met her? It looks like a fake profile tbh

>>675452828
Then stop posting here and go fuck her. Or whatever. It sounds like you're in. Unless you're going to dump her nudes then this thread is done.

>>675452828
fuck her face

>>675452828
And who's to blame on that sweet cherry? Who's using slutty dating apps? (sends phone number)

Send her a pic of your balls with the caption "I'm nuts for you."

Saaage

I love that this is turning into a cringe thread.
Vegan sausages, fedoras?

>>675452977
If only this was a dub thread

If you want some pussy, find out her problems and say you can talk about solving them when you hang out. If you show promise you'll be gettin blown on the couch, and quite possibly get some pussy.

If you want a relationship, find out her problems and say you can talk about solving them when you hang out. Show promise and slowly let her down over and over until the relationship becomes unhealthy and you become a submissive beta to the point to where she could cheat on you and you would still want her to stay. This is what happens when you ask /b/.

For real, just get her to fuck you and play alpha after that. Cause she wont wanna leave for 2 reasons: the confirmed suspicion of being an easy slut that she probably was, and that you're a man and not a boy.

>>675452608
When we set a time for our first date she sent me a picture of her notebook that had my name and some hearts scribbled next to it.
Then she asked me when my birthday will be and that she already knows what to get me.
After that she invited me to her mothers birthday the following weekend, I should meet her family.

I thought the "we should marry" stuff was fun, but she was totally serious about it.

>>675452910
Not fake, why should it be?

>>675452828
If dubs, tell her you like loli.

>>675452338
If this is real:

Run.

Like.

Hell.

if dubs, you ask for nudes and post them for us.

>>675452828
Is she from MI?

>>675453102
That bitch looks like she'll bite a niggas dick off.

>>675451886
> Amen
Kek

>>675453064
Please tell me you banged her and got the fuck out of there.

wtf that's my girlfriend, op...I'm calling her right now, end the convo..seriously.

>>675451024
Seems like it's going well, what's the problem>??

>>675451521
The only cringe is your sorry ass.

OP just send her your number, let her text you. send her a dick pic and see where it goes

>>675453247
At my place though because I'm an idiot.

>>675451942
braindead cancer retard detected

You are fucking this up. She keep baiting you with her fantasy for how you two should get together (e.g. she offers to bike to you, she suggests you run into each other at a grocery store), and you keep batting her away. She's going to get the impression that you're not interested. Stop being a little beta bitch fag and tell her you have some time today and invite her to bike TO YOU.

>>675453252
OP here. Prove it, fuckboy. I'm gonna fuck your girl.

>>675452828
Be wary, OP.
Why would she be using a dating site/app to begin with?
Something feels off here.

>>675453423
Gotta say this will work op

>>675453530
/thread
Get your dick wet, OP.

>>675453530
>not knowing how to deal with women
>still giving advice

>>675452828
Tell her you'd like to extro her vert, if you know what I'm saying.

Also you're broke. Money is a good way to get pussy.

>>675453895
Seems like she wants his dick even though he's broke.

OP give us an update!

>>675453733
I know what you're saying

>>675453725
implying that advice is wrong. I think that anon is completely right

>>675454061
Didnt say it was the only way. But if he's asking /b/ for advice, obviously this is like a one time chance for him, i'm kinda just laying into him.

>>675452828
Seal the deal. Pick a place and time to meet up this week. Save the chatting for the date

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Alright /b/ OP here
She's just asked for us to talk on the phone
She also strictly said she wasn't looking for hook ups, as is the norm on tinder (could be a lie)
I'm not retarded enough to listen to shitty /b/ advice
But it was pretty funny seeing you all call each other beta faggots.
I'll try to fuck her anyways
Without any money.

Wish me luck /b/

>>675454624
This

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>>675453725
>bitching about other people's advice
>not contributing

>>675454652
That's ma boi.

>>675454652
You're not going to get any. She's gonna stab you in the heart and steal your kidney.

>>675454652
my current gf (2 years now) and I met on Tinder. we talked for about 12 hours until 8am the next morning. she left and drove across town. I put a movie on when she got there, before the second stanza (we were watching Repo! The Genetic Opera) she was nude blowing me.

she said no hookups either, but the fuckin' was good enough I kept her around.

she's fucking crazy though. but I like it.

>>675455532
>before the second stanza she was nude blowing me.
And did the same to her 450 other Tinder matches, glad you kept her

>>675455612
>being this salty

>>675455651
Just like the taste of your gf's lips after she sucked all of these dicks

>>675455773
I wish she would have sucked more fam tbqh, she's not very good at it

>>675451188
don't do this... just say " I want to meet you, let's do something, I'll pick you up " keep it simple, op

>>675455899
She's used to sucking big dicks, not little micro dicks like yours.

>>675452276
England... You misspelled "Scandinavia" retard.

Also this looks like pure bait.
1. Pic seems to be a 2-3/10 male.
2. The dialog seems to be the worst of fedora.

Also possible it is a kissless trying to convince strangers on the internet that a girl would talk to him.

>>675451024
you're already being autistic with this "m'lady im the gentleman :3333" type shit

>>675456175
This virgin nigga mad

>>675456175

y u heff 2 b med?

op let us know on another thread, let us recognise u, this is going 404

>>675456175
saved for future cringe threads

Send her a picture of you tipping you best collectors edition fedora

>>675457312

LMAO i really could feel the anger in his posts.

>>675458645
its like he was venting his sexual tension xD

>>675451524
very this!

>>675451658
Friendzone welcome. This is the cowards version who isn't manly enough to trigger women's emotions in a true way.

Instantly send her a dick pic

>>675454666
The devil is here

>>675451981
Good point!

>>675451024
Her name is Ingrid. That already makes her a 2/10

Damn, lucky mofo. Hot girl, into you like a neckbeard on a qt 3.14 and she likes introverts. I think you found the one

794 992 780

>>675453102
Why should run away from her? What could actually happen if you stayed with someone like her?

>>675452338
This guy is full of shit he never hit that. This bitch is an instagram model.

From my experience, an extroverted girl claiming to want to date an introverted guy is usually hot air. Ex said something similar but actually took her a while to get used to it.

>>675453530
This guy is right

>>675456175
wew

>>675451024
crazy alert. she'll bike to you and murder your ass.

I had a very similar experience to this op and she turned out to be batshit crazy
Just don't get your hopes up too much, it's honestly quite strange she's acting like this without ever meeting you in person.

>>675451024

8/10 on Tinder = 5/10 in real life

I was talking with a 6/10, she was a chubby in rela life. Fucking angles.

>>675451981
This. Don't listen to anyone else. She clearly likes you "as is," You're not going to fuck it up. If she didn't like they way you interact with her, she just wouldn't talk to you.

>>675461217
*the

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>>675451024
>biking pleasure

>>675451024
Trust me pal, you already fucked it up with your fedora level mlady bullshit. Seriously, how often do you take cock up your ass?

>>675452828
Ask her out you fucking fgt holy shit, what are you waiting for?!?

>>675461599
OP here as much as I can

>>675461137
>I was talking with a 6/10, she was a chubby in rela life.

6/10.. chubby. 6/10.. chubby.
Nope. I think chub scale caps at 4-5. fat scale caps at 2 (if you consider them to be human).

>>675462449
I personally find all chubbs and fatties to be 1-3s.

>>675462783
>projecting self image issues

>>675462875
Because I don't like overweight people? I'm 5'5" and 115.7lbs when I checked on Monday.
>inb4 manlet namecalling
>am femanon
Okay, dude.

>>675462449

> chub scale caps at 4-5

Truth. A very pretty fat girl, will only ever be average, and the more chub, the lower the cap.

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>>675463568
femanon here, check your privilege

LOL WTF

talked to the same fking person 2 months ago. told me the same bs, tuned out shes tranny.

have fun OP

>>675464098
>she
>not realiziing from her display pic that there was something visually wrong

>>675464098

No you didn't jelous queer

>>675454652
Of course it's a LIE OP

First date with a girl I met on Tinder, her tinder basically states she isn't looking for hooking up.

And we hit it off SO well, we didn't just have sex, I stayed the night at her place.

YOU ARE GREEN LIT AT THIS POINT MY MAN

From what I've read don't fuck with this girl she's obviously insecure and clingy

>>675464064
Stfu you fat sow. Fat people always make fucking excuses. Let me guess, along with the word privelage, your other favorite words include womyn, feminism, slut-shaming, bigot, and ableist. To me, there are many underlying reasons as to why people let themselves become this way. This is a physical manifestation of either mental health issues, such as depression, laziness, or a lack of self-respect just to name a few.

>>675455341
KECKLE

>>675464666
Men disgust me. I’m a lesbian and I’m sick to death of you ignorant bastards. For starters, no, I will not show you my tits. I don’t see how any of you have the right to tell another woman to get naked, you dogs might see women as flesh for your pleasure but NOTHING gives you the right to take advantage of a woman just because you believe that you’re ‘stronger’ or ‘better.’

What gives you the right to think that you can tell us what to do? I will never be ordered around by a man. Actually, I’m so passionate about this I managed to get this asshole guy suspended from my work for making sexist comments about me and ordering me to get him a fucking coffee every minute. Now he’s learnt his lesson and is making ME the coffee.

I weep for a world without men, a paradise. Without men there would be no crime, no wars and everyone would be treated equally.

Unfortunately, I can’t see my utopia happening anytime soon but I warn you, women’s rights groups are still fighting for equality and in the future society might not be quite so lenient on you misogynist bastards.

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>>675451024
hey /b/
So uh im on pc now
and this is op...
she was a dude.
she declared she was a virgin.
And claimed she only did Anal.
I refused Anal thinking shes def a dude.
and uh went from loving me to hating me.

So is life

>>675464948
prove it

>>675464098
OH SHIT I MISSED YOUR POST, YES I JUST FOUND OUT SHES A TRANNY, WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT LOL.

Guys I really think that we need to be prepared for the NWO because after the 9/11 attacks Bush began preparing his next "Total World Conquest" in which Israel, Israel and the UK are going to use the lost alien technology from the 1904 fire to deliver an ultrasonic pulse that can reach the outer core of the galaxy, thus briniging death through its path. If we dont stop them right now then Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton can make the Chinese reach a total Nirvana effect during the next few generations.

>>675451658
FRIENDZONE

>>675464948
calling bullshit

>>675464948
And /b/ the reason i didnt show pics is because she looked like a tranny from the start, but i had hope. There goes that. I blocked it on all social media so she wouldnt go on a rampage.

>>675464878
You're dumb. If you saw my earlier post, I clearly stated that I was a female. And so I really wouldn't ask to see your tits because I don't agree with that bs either. You prove my point exactly though. You feminists think that everything against your petty arguments have to come from a man. Well, they don't.

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>>675465357
you just granted credence to the stereotype that females are fucking mongo retards.

try googling that text, realize its copypasta then kill yourself.

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>>675452171
>vegan sausages

WHAT KINDA FAGGIT SHIT IS THIS?!

>>675465310
prove it homo

>op not clocking onto this blatant honeypot scheme

>>675452828
FUCK HER NOW! FUCKING FAGGOT

>>675465544
Nice double dubs! time to prove it OP

>>675451024
What are you 12 ?!?!

>>675451024
le supreme gentleman

>>675465503
Gee, thanks faggot. Sorry I'm not on here all the time to keep track of every feminist related copypasta.

>>675465747
the only response is tits with timestamp, or fucking leave mongo

stop beating around the bush and fucking ask her out you sped. that is if you actually want to fuck a crazy vegan bitch.

>>675465776
Dick or gtfo, bitch.

>>675465792
Are you samefag?

>>675465747
So you're a newfag? Stop believing the misogyny meme.

>>675466073
tit for tat, you go, I go

>>675454652

Something aint right bout this op, beware, take a small weapon when u go meet "her".

>>675466073
That was my first post in this thread, so no.

Get a car you faggot

>>675451186
/thread

>>675466217
Fuck off, debtslave.

>>675451372
Yep shes a nutjob but just do her thair graag in bed

>>675451024
Well for starters don't avoid cringe worthy shit like "gentlemen" and "the pleasure would be mine". And for god sake man, whatever you do don't use them at the same time.

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>>675452828
quit being a beta faggot and get her, i swear if you use words like "gentlemen" and "mere" we're gonna have a serious fucking problem

>>675451186
I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think faggots turn her on.

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What are baby ducks called?

If she is coming on hard fucking do something about it, its not rocket science you autistic cunt, this makes me mad how slow you are acting about this thing.

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>>675451024
Just don't be that guy

>>675451024

>/b/ this 8/10 girl is full on hitting on me.

fake and gay. not one of you faggots has ever had more than 18% battery life left

>How do I not be an autistic tard and not fuck this up?

start by not adking /b/ for advice

>>675466417
Duk, they get the c when they're older because the bill is fully matured.

>>675466080
No, but you can't deny that there are people who talk like that, so not knowing that that's what it was, I obviously bit. Have you not seen feminists on social media??

>>675466102
No. You go first.

>>675466285
I've never held debt in my life, nice try carless jealous fag

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>>675452171
>"Vegan sausages"
>mfw

>>675451024
Newfag

>>675466569
Here's a lesson: any feminazi on /b/ is fake.

>>675466569
I'm covered in tattoos and will be very easily spotted in archives of this thread. I want incentive.

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>>675466565
Thanks, pal. Are you a duck scientist?

>>675466440
Yes fuck, dont be that guy.

>>675466213
Oh, I see. What would you say your body type is, and do you work out?

>>675452828
This has trouble written all over it dude. It really seems too good to be true. Be. Fucking. Careful.

Otherwise, just fake confidence. Just phone it in. Act like you know what you're doing, and always make the first move when she nonverbally signals you to. PROTIP: If she lets you play with her hair, she WILL let you kiss her.

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>this thread

>>675466440
I was having a perfectly OK life until I remembered that abomination happened

>>675466569
You are a fucking joke.

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>>675454652
Go on and keep us updated

>>675451024
well son, theres this thing called the game, and shes playing you

>>675451718
>>675451521 #

>27/f/cali

cockblocker. why you want to fuck him up like that?

btw, where in cali? if norcal i really dig you and want to see you. let me take you out on the nest date of hour life. and then fuck your mouth hard and deep until Imcum straight down your throat.

>>675466599
You bought a car and house in cash? You paid for uni or college up front? With your own money that you earned (not Daddies money)? In the latter situation you're just a leech.

>>675451024
Pretty much this..if she's already hitting on you for some reason she likes you for the massive faggot you are gl

>>675451024
>How do I not be an autistic tard and not fuck this up?
>asks /b/

good luck, newfriend.

>>675466790
You don't know me nigga

>>675452171
Holy fuck the constant cringe. Not even trolling, are you autistic? Even a little?

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>>675466440
Gamma-type faggot

>>675462449

6/10 before I know her mass

Tell her
I WANNA FUCK YOUR PUSSY TIL IT CUMS ON ME AND THEN SEX THE ASSHOLE YOU POO ON MY DICK LICK OFF I CUM IN YOUR NOSE BITCH 69 YOLO

>>675466741
Okay. Fine.

>>675466748
I said dick. Not your body and face + life story. Unless you have tattoos on your dick or groin area, and everyone has seen them.... o.O

Ask her to marry you

>>675466940
When you play the game, you win or you die

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>>675451962
Fuck you pussy my dad made me shoot my own dog dick

>>675452338
worth it

>>675451024
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>675452171
Tell her you would shove the vegan sausage in her mouth, then rip her skirt off, pull down her panties and fuck her butthole. That's love at first sight.

>>675467082
Nigga he omega

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>>675467040
Read all their shit and OP's explanations ITT
>l2post

Boney Boney boney

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>>675467082
I have even worse

>>675464948
well you deserved it faggot

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>>675466869
Okay.

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>>675451024
Alright guy some of you didn't believe me earlier when I said she's actually a tranny. So I took my unedited screencap and censored it differently
Hopefully that's enough.

I'm in shame right now for almost fucking a tranny.

>>675452828
Ask her for fucking pics you faggot, it's too good to be true.

Also, who starts a relationship without meeting the other person?

>>675452828
Do it. She will fuck your shit up, but you need to learn. Right now you are desperate af and need to learn to love the hand.

>>675456175
get a load of this jelly madfag

>>675467006
Never said I own a house or went to college. Yes I bought a car in cash.

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>>675467253
This man is a romantic. Follow his wise advice.

>>675467111
I have tattoos on my lower abdomen too, fam. but I would hold an object such as a water bottle beside my phallus so you could havve a proper representation of size, you know.

so, incentive or are we done here?

>>675452338
insane girls are insane in bed
just watch out she dont know where you live and dont have you full real name
if she gets one of both, good luck

>>675467311
jesus


get over it

call him a faggot then swipe him

and go to a bar instead

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>>675467247

>Gentleman
You already fucked up op

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>>675467294
Oh yes... I quite remember that post. I was there att

Gawd... I almost suffocate myself laughing.

>>675467391
Oh, so you're young and bought a used car. That doesn't really count, wait till you're older.

>>675453445
now you have a problem
she knows where you live,
move away, marie her, or do a hero

>>675452828
upclose face picture

>>675467311
Kek

>>675467311
am i fucking blind where does it say they're a tranny

>>675467311
are you the guy who isn't OP but ran into that?

in this post
>>675464098

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>>675467311
Shes a tranny? wtf just happened.

>>675467254
This >>675467294 is why I called him Gamma and not Omega.

Only few selected individuals can be such eunuchs.

>>675465310
Dude just go for it.

>>675467638
yes thats exactly it, see my reply to him.

>>675456175
Jesus Christ dude hire a prostitute