post tits?

im depressed as shit and i want to know why the fuck you are a faggot

>>674569673
Can you buy me Xbox live gold plz

hi, why is that that almost all psychologist I know have more mental issues than the rest of the population?

>>674569673
Just kill yourself, pussy.

>>674569673
what is the best way to kill yourself

Paxil and therapy. 60% of the time, it works every time.

>>674569673 how did you draw fry like that OP
also no need to suicide :)

>>674569673
Suicidal Psychiatrist. Cool band name

>>674569931
something for death metal i guess?

>>674569830
Because we have to deal with yours.

>>674569895
Live till heart stops

>>674569919
Not for me.

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I have a question.


What is the point?

>I'm a psychologist
Said every 10th grade girl to take an intro psychology course ever

>>674570022
Of what?

>>674569996
Classical jazz actually

>>674570047
I have a degree, kid.

hey op, go take a shit on some church steps or something fun like that.

dubs makes it so

>>674570092
Pics or it didn't happen.

I do not leave my house i shit in the chair i am sitting in , i have millions of dollars given to me , i am 409 pounds Over weight. Can you help me or am i fucked?

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>>674570051
Exactly.

>>674570022
Why would you ask someone who is suicidal what the point of living is? That seems pretty stupid.

>>674570234
call trump

>>674569673
Have you started having the dreams yet? The ones where you end up acting out your wishes to die?

>>674570019
but what if your heart stops from a heroin overdose

>>674569673
can i diagnostic myself of chronic depression?

>>674570234
Sure I could help you. Hirr me and ill slap the food out if your mouth for a month.

>>674570321
Fuck no.

>>674570322
I don't have wishes to die. Im suicidal not .proactive

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>>674570252
Didn't ask about living. Just what is the point, just in general, how to derive any form of meaning from any of this bullshit that we all wade through every fucking day.

>>674569673
I want to ask you, why are you suicidal? Is there anything specific getting you down?

>>674570481
Being "suicidal" means you want to die. If you don't want to die, then you're just an attention seeking whore.

>>674570522
Its basically the same thing.

>>674569673
heres a question, if i already tried to kill myself at a young age, then failed, and only beat myself up about it, and take adderall to force myself to get up in the morning, after realizing theres no point to it all i still do it. my question is, what reason do you have for getting out of bed, and what would you say i should tell others who are suicidal, because honestly if the suicide is logical i believe they should go ahead

>>674569673
yeah......no, im not going to ask a suicidal psychologist anything. youre not mentally stable to be providing assistance to anyone. fuck outta here u fucking dirty whore.

>>674569673
Take some mushrooms fam,cure that depression

>>674570566
Yes my genetic disorder that causes depression.

>>674570622
No being suicidal means you have suicidal ideation. I don't want to die, my brain does.

>>674570738
I don'thave a reason. Don'tneed one.

>>674570808
Mushrooms just make me sick. Work on my cluster headaches though.

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>>674570649
It's not tied to being alive specifically. I just thought someone who is considering removing themselves from existence might have some insight as to what the journey of life is actually about.

Surely if you've decided dying would be better then you must have some well thought out reasoning behind it right?

>>674570904
but how did you draw fry!

>>674569673
find a cause to fight for. Go buy a metal detector and go to the park with it. Start hiking. Eat more fruits and veggies. Take a small dose of magic mushrooms or lsd. Smoke some weed and read. Get a shitty guitar and go out in public and find others with a shitty guitar and learn to jam. Go out for a walk in nature. Do some shit other than posting that you need help. Help yourself to everything that is around you now and try to look forward to later with some work to do.

>>674569673
Why do I feel obligated to continue living?

>>674570022
>>674570322
>>674570522
>>674570566
>>674570622
>>67457098(fore)
nice gets

>>674569673
>psychology
lol

>>674570987
Using my hands.

>>674570910
No. Not how it works. Its an impulse, not thought out.

>>674571122
Because genetics.

>>674571126
Yeah okay. Idiot.

>>674570991
Yeah I did all that. Didnt help.

>>674569673

What do you think about killing yourself to reach the Astral Plane sooner?

>>674571224
You have yet to prove you have a degree. You look more like a pseudo-intellectual to me.

>>674571312
No such thing.

>>674571224
>Because genetics

Thanks, I'll be sure to go against my obligation later then.

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>>674571122
nice

>>674570987
whoops didn't mean to cut your number off sorry lad

>>674571224
>idiot
you sound very upset that your "science" isn't a very good science.
are you projecting onto me m8?

>>674571351
Oh, I thought you were insulting the whole field. Plenty of idiots doing that these days.

>>674571397
Like this asshole.

>>674571397
>Nice

Anon-Kun, I'm confused.

>>674570904
>I don't want to die, my brain does
The meatsuit you call a body doesn't have independent feelings. Separating the brain from the consciousness is a pretty idea, but it's ultimately useless. Your brain controls all.

>>674571489
dubs lad

>>674569673

What led you to try to kill yourself?

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>>674571224
If it was impulse you'd have done it already, fuck off back to tumblr

>>674571609
Awh shit, thanks mate.

>>674571648
>11
>>674571648
>>674571518
Not all of my brain is my mind; lots of it is independent of me.


You know, because otherwiseeven minor damage would kill me?

>>674571619
When did I say I tried?

>>674571648
The knowledge you have of depression wouldfit in a thimble.

>>674571619
>implying he's attempted

>>674571835
>Not all of my brain is my mind; lots of it is independent of me.
>You know, because otherwiseeven minor damage would kill me?


nigga wat

>>674571956
Basic philosophy of biology anon. Read a book.

>>674572094
point me to your source fam

>>674571835
You said you were suicidal, you didn't point out it is only suicidal thoughts

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>>674571940
You have no clue, you massive cunt.

If you really are depressed, you don't post spasticated shit like this.

>>674569673

Oh it's you again, hi!.. How are you today?

>>674572292
I am suicidal. I fit the medical definition.

>>674572399
How about you read a book before commenting on shit you dont know about?

>>674572431
Could be worse. You?

>>674569673
change your POV. You probably believe that you are entitled to things. I don't think our ancestors were suicidal. They knew they had to work for what they got. They didn't expect anything from this world, but had to manipulate the world to get what they wanted. So OP, the world doesnt give a rat's ass about your depression. The world is cruel and unfair. Suck it up. You get what you give. Stand up and fight, anon.

should I quit my job and sell everything I have and move to russia to teach english for a year ?

I've been studying russian for half a year now and I have the opportunity to do it

>>674572554
>muh bookz

>>674572633
p smart dubs tbqphafwy fam

>>674572702
yes

>>674572633
The genetics of at least some forms of depression and suicide are older than humans.

Seems your world view is clearly and obviously wrong.

>>674572702
Do you have a job lined up?

>>674569673

Where can I find basic psychology knowledge? I don't trust Internet but maybe you can give me the right links

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>>674572554
Yes because reading a book will prepare me for the huge arrays of complications and the struggles of life. Sounds like you've read a few books yourself.

You are a mong.

>>674572554
Self analysis does not one make one thrully know what you have.
You should leave 4chan for now, get medical help.
Get hopped on pills then come back and wildly shitpost on how high you are for the first week or so.
I also recomend you go to /soc/ it's better for depressed people.

>>674572821
why don't you prove your way is right before calling everyone else wrong first fampai

>inb4 idiot

>>674572821
>Seems your world view is clearly and obviously wrong
>implying there is a "correct" world view
All world views are just the best models we can come up with to describe reality. FInish high school first before you talk to me again.

>>674572821
yes, the government pays you.

>>674572872
Read the dsm-5 and icd-10.

>>674572892
It sure would help with that ignorance.

>>674572901
Already did all that. /b/ is my home. Ill stay here.

>>674572947
We already came up with a method to do that. S'called science.

>>674572961
Already got a bach, working on masters. If a model doesn'tmatch reality, it is wrong.

Yours is wrong. Mine may not be right, but yours is surely wrong. Because evidence and science.

>>674573017
I actually work in industry.

>>674569673
"Good News Fry! Due to radioactive contamination of the ship hull, you have grown the most splendid pair of tits! Now please, let us examine them. For SCIENCE!"

I remember that episode
[spoiler] that episode is now [/spoiler]

>>674573133
I laughed. Thank you. Bern about a week.

>>674569673
Will you film your suicide?

>>674573133
dubs confirm

show tits op

>>674573132
>Read the dsm-5

I'm sorry, but I thought you were an actual psychologist....? You ought to know that it is illegal for anyone other than a licensed psychologist to posess or look through the DSM handbook. Your professor can't even allow you look at it....

>>674573300
I wont be suiciding. At least not for a while, Ihope.

>>674569673
I have not left my bed for years. Please send help.

>>674569673
In order to get laid i need money, in order to get money i need to get laid?

>>674573442
What? Its freely available online. I have a copy in my apartment, which I bought at a public book store.

What the fuck are you talking about?

>>674573512
What'syour address?

>>674573546
Jobs don'trequire sex.

>>674573132
>Yours is wrong. Mine may not be right, but yours is surely wrong. Because evidence and science.
Sure anon. Having a gene associated with being suicidal doesnt make you suicidal. The gene can be dormant for all we know. There is very little ancient literature that talk about hurr durr i'm suicidal coz life sucks. People back then committed suicide due to honor or far less moronic reasons than the reasons of modern people. I guess it shows when one obtains a bach degree from a low-tier school. Case in point: you.

>>674573512
how do you survive?

Why doesn't my ps3 play games? I took it out a tore off the gears so the game will just sit in there and wont spit but it still doesnt

>>674573728
>what's your address

what's yours? ;^)

>>674574023
did you make sure your device was plugged in?

>>674569830
Because that's what encourages them to get into it. They're fucked and want to know why. You know, like kids asking why they can't have candy bars. OP is just a spoiled kid who stole their parent's money to pay for a crappy degree that could be replaced by an equally difficult and higher-paying neurology degree.

>>674573842
Not sure you know how biology works, fella.
>>674574052
Already spread it on /b/ once. Just go find it.

>>674574447
I picked up psych on accident; im a programmer and cs major by trade. Also I didnt have help from my parents.

But by all means, keep talking Freud. Im sure you'll getSOMETHING right eventually.

>>674574513
awrite, buddy.

>>674574513
you're kinda a major faggot m8

>>674574740
>Bringing up Freud
Oh, you're just pretending then. Only highschool kids who googled "Waht did Freud think" or took a high-school course in sociology bring him up. You're totally self-imposing, OP. Dunning Kruger syndrome much? And all those other things high-school kids learn.

>>674574023
Yea it's plugged in you fucking idiot...

>>674574950
try shitting on it

>>674574779
Glad we agree, pal

>>674574859
What are you, australian?

>>674574884
Wow, it was me insulting you and that makes me the high school student? Go back to college, pseudointellectual. I got sick of that long ago; that'swhy Igraduated.

>>674574950
Are you sure?

Hi, I am with the Marion County police department and we need to see proof that you are a license "psychologist" or somehow employed in the field of psychiatric health.

>>674575031
Oh, whoah, multi-syllabic words. It's clear you're a /true/ intellectual with a college degree in a field you're spamming the buzzwords of.

>>674575069
Fuck the police

>>674575031
>this cuck doesn't even meme

r u new op?

>>674575069
Where even is marion and how would you claim jurisdiction?

>>674575196
I thought it would be ghastly.

>>674575031
whatever you believe, fam

>>674575358
Fucking nigger.

>>674575298
Fuck you, stingray. Go back to the ocean and leave us human anons alone.

>>674575358
Nigger...

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What would Freud say if he knew I have a massive fetish for traps? Since obviously you know all about Freudian psychology and how accurate it is.

>>674569673
a) tits
b) pls love me ;_;7

>>674575570
Don'tknow, how did you?

>>674575718
Faggot fucker. Get good English.

>>674575031
Yea man its really plugged in good can you just buy me a new ps3?

Why? Please answer me.

>>674575815
That english wasnt poor in any way.

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>>674575701
ily

>>674575941
just like, cuz bro

>>674576201
your tits

>>674576537
That aint op

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>>674576650

psychology is kind of bullshit to be honest

>>674572187
>Implying he has sources

>>674577045
Non, is reel science!
They totally have evidence for all their hypothesis', matching the five-sigma likelihood other fields demand. Si.

>>674577148
kinda suspiciously looking like a false flag there
i'm not saying you can't recreate the experiments
you know, reproduce results to show it works
it's just that it rarely achieves the end goal, helping people with mental illnesses

>>674577045
Depends on the area. A LOT of machine learning comes out of psych, and infliences a lot of what you do and what you see.

However, it is a rather soft science for now; neurology is much harder and more strict.

>>674577148
Hahahaha you think most science meets five sigma? I've only seen a handful positing more than p > 0.01, which is not five sigma.

>>674577291
.That's...not the end goal of psychology. That'sthe end goal of medicine.

>>674569673
I'm not depressed.
My shrink says I have anti social personality Disorder.
Why does he use a term with such negative connotations when he could just say I'm very compartmentalized?

>>674577439
Because the two phrases are jot identical in meaning.

>>674577439
go outside

>>674577376
consider suicide

>>674577567
Consider it every day.

>>674577376
my only interactions with psychologist are ones in the mental health field so i guess there's that.
>muh bias is showing

>>674577623
thats the first step, good

now do you have a camera?
also you should start putting considerable thought into your method

>>674577656
Really? Not therapists or psychiatrists?

Psychologists usually do research.

>>674577745
Yeah im not committing suicide anytime soon, sorry.

>>674569673
what if i just don't have the energy anymore? i get that it could be great. im 30, career, smart. so many people close to me have died, though (drugs, suicide, random acts of life). not family; i don't talk to my family often and it's okay. i'm interested in a lot. i see a lot of opportunity. but no energy for any of it..... i'm just done. i've hung on for 2 years now like this. i've gotta be done or i guess i can start using hard drugs.... lol.... (real, legit option, though)

>>674577781
most of the mental health professionals i've met majored in psychology.

>>674578085
Try 4-fa. It'llgive you energy and empathy with little to no long term side effects.

stop coming here and not posting tits
sage goes in all fields

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>>674569673
>Self diagnosed;
>Self appointed;
>Self righteous

>>674577900
>thinks killing yourself is for someone else's benefit
you're awfully at risk if you hold that attitude, sorry

>>674571956
>This
The fuck are you trying to say anon? You had impulses, that are beyond your control right? Why haven't you died? Your brain stops making impulses? I know this is not how depression or suicide comes to fruition. You're just explaining it like shit.
How close have you actually come to death? I'm starting to doubt your authenticity.

>>674578322
Im not self diagnosed, sorry.

>>674578239
Interesting! Where do you live, broadly?

>>674578385
What?

>>674578560
america
it's usually either
a) medicine (psychiatrist)
b) psychology (therapist)
c) social work (case worker)

>>674578560
what's your diagnosis

>>674578560
it's a joke about how most suicides/notes are about the world. some girl that spurned them. some failure to succeed in your career. very rarely do you hear somebody say i'm just killing myself because that's what appeals to me. suicide is the logical conclusion to existentialism anyway. nothing you do can have meaning so your wasting your energy in going on. don't worry if you don't get the joke.

>>674578957
Major clinical depression with melancholic subtype.

>>674578971
Jokes are supposed to be funny.

>>674579140
not everybody has the carbon copy sense of humor comedy critics like to imply.
>if i didn't laugh it's not funny
is an autistic as fuck pov, bb.

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>>674579140
>depression
gtfo failed normie

>>674579343
I never implies humor is objective. Just that that wasn't funny.

>>674579717
Not even sure what that means, but it sure sounds autistic.

know any cool parlor tricks? i heard asking somebody to remember a few double digit numbers and then asking them to choose a snack will make them prefer a healthy one over an unhealthy one. truly psychology is an amazing science that really is making meaningful strides in improving the lives of everyine.
>>674579757
>ust that that wasn't funny.
are you saying stupid shit on purpose or you really don't know what the word subjective means?

if there's one thing i hate more than women
it's psychologists

>>674579905
Hey, prove me wrong.

>>674580253
Sounds like you need a psychiatrist then. Contact me in 10 years.

>>674580294
take some lsd and reread it
>>674580378
$$$

>>674580706
Im at work, will salvia or dmt suffice?

>>674569673

Why shouldn't all the depressed people be granted euthanasia? We have organs to donate, and they would definitely be of more use to someone happy.

Psychology is a joke. Muster up some fucking spirit and become a responsible human being. Or kill yourself and do the world a favor. One less selfish moron to contend with

>>674580923
Most depressed people don't want to die.

>>674580958
So you think Ican overcome genetics through sheer will power?

Unlikely.

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>>674580841
it's your trip, man
>>674581138
maybe if you killed yourself we could study your brain and cure it

>>674581404
Sounds unlikely. We have plenty of depressed brains.

>>674570622
>muh genetics

You're the same fuckhead from yesterday, that wants to drag everyone down to his stupid level.

>>674571351
Even foot geniuses have better responses than this crap.

>>674581594
Did you quote the wrong person?

>>674569673
Hey OP, want to bone before you do it? I mean, you have nothing to lose right?

>>674581585
psh
>day of autopsies
>autopsies of brains that weren't medicated for it
the world needs more unmedicated mentally ill people to kill themselves outside morgues

>>674572554
>diagnosed myself

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EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION EPILEPSY IS DEMONIC POSSESSION

>>674570022
Life is only meaningful if it's eternal.

>>674581977
daily reminder nothing is eternal = nothing has meaning

>>674581860
No, as mentioned several times, a doctor did.

>>674581745
>>674581764
I never said I was committing suicide, but Iwould have one thing to lose. My standards.

>>674581977
What a crock of shit

>>674582049
What a crock of shit.

>>674581138
›muh genetix
Its the same argument as the fat SJW and feminists try to make. Do something about it dont come with this "woe is me" attitude. You people want this attention so god damned much and try to spin it into a "feel bad for me im so depressed life is hard blah" thing. Newsflash life is hard for everyone. People deal with shit everyday and the last thing we need is muh feels muh genetix autists crying about themselves

when will u grow up and deal with your problems? everyone has problems, life sucks, get a helmet.

>>674573132
>neurobiology psychiatrist who is suicidal working in industry well attending class and answering questions on /b/ in order to convey his self diagnosed genius.

Now you just need sunglasses and a new haircut

>>674582190
You assume Idid nothing. Why?

>>674582215
You assume I don't. Why?

>>674582249
Im not male, im anon. And im not conveying genius at all, no idea where you got that idea.

Also id be a neuropsychopharmacologist, I guess.

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>>674582099
>current understanding of physics
>a crock of shit
this is why everybody else in stem hates you guys.

>>674579140
>major
>clinical
>side of melancholy

Are you depressed or ordering a burger

>>674582549
Kek

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>>674582099
Isn't that what suicidal means? That you are contemplating suicide. I'm not a psychologist, but it seems like I'm not making much of a leap there. And HEY! You don't even know what I look like.

>>674569673
Suppose one was unable to take lithium for medical reasons. Is there an alternative for bipolar that isnt neuroleptics?

>>674582249
a lot of nutjobs go into mental health because... well, because they're nutjobs.

>>674582445
Im also computer science, tough guy. We own that domain, not physics.

Now suck on machine learning.

>>674582549
Both. Lunch time.

>>674582745
The medical establishment is much more precise with their definitions.

>>674582758
Seroquel.

>>674582758
Heroin

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>>674582841
>tough guy

>>674581745
Totally did. OP is a massive tool. The anon I responded to is not.

>>674582758
postitutes and blow

>>674582099
>mentioned

Hey, you're a liar. Pathologic.

>>674583105
When did nevada start coming to my threads.

>>674582758
i like to regulate with copious amounts of alcohol
it keeps me in a consistently cozy state of despair and helplessness

>>674582409
>I'm a dumb chick

First honest thing you've said all thread

>>674583295
That's a great way to end up dead.

who isnt fucked up anyway

>>674583399
I said Iwas anon, not female. Keep up.

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>>674583399
checked
>>674583425
i don't see how

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>>674582841
>The medical establishment is much more precise with their definitions.

Lol look at that superiority complex. I always find that with mental health people. You guys are always so self righteous. I am getting my masters in Healthcare Admin and that is what I have constantly noticed throughout my time as an intern and employee at hospitals. Everyone said it was the physicians who were going to be the most aggravating, but it's 100% the mental health people. That and you guys generate no revenue.

>>674583295
Great for getting to sleep during mania, and somehow I am never hungover, but I gives me a terrible case of the sticky shits in the morning.

>>674583517
>keep up

Same confused tranny that made a thread yesterday.

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>>674583642
this, and with barely the vaguest notion of what defines mental illness