>>674433286
kek lost already. Good job OP.

bump
moar please

>>674433622
KEK

>>674436999
>>674437111

check 'em, double trips

All out of greentext stories

anybody got the king of the tards greentext? the one where the tards hits a cop with a lead pipe

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>>674437764
Yeah

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>>674438164

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>>674438235

>>674438331

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>>674438542
Damnit forgot pic

>>674434528
The Force Awakens is irrelevant now but this is really funny

>>674436999
underrated post also checked

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>>674438670

I have 136 green texts any requests?

>>674438999
Sick trips

>>674437248
trippy bro

>>674438999
monkey island and IT dude

>>674433365
>she has the situation under control
>I do not
my sides

>>674433286
>Be me in 2007
>17 years old, trading nudes with random myspace (oh yeah, myspace) girls is he new hip thing to do
>She sends me a pic of her super long saggy boobs
>I was a little dickhead when I was 17 so I thought she hadn't earned me returning the favor.
>Also, I had a girlfriend and it made sense somehow that I was less guilty if I didn't send anything.
>I somehow get her to send me several pictures without her pressing the issue to get one from me
>Till one day i'm in the car with my buddy, she tells me to send her something
>"What would you like to see?"
>"I think you know ;)"
>I lean to my buddy and say "What should I send?"
>"I dunno but I gotta take a shit"
>Lightbulb
>Commence phase 2
>Take picture of poop, hit send.
>No response
>Next time I take a shit, buddy takes a picture and sends from his number
>Still no response
>Tell everyone in my phone to send pictures of their next poop to this number. I have no idea how many people came through for me, but,
>Three days later I get a text: "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU"

lulz were had.

>>674438670
Dammit. Lost.

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>>674439544
Nice dubs

>>674440482
Any moar requests?

>>674440538
>we are brothers he and I
>IT brothers
thats still the funniest two lines in any green text ever

now do the bum who meets the polish girl who dies, and ugly

>>674436515
This one didn't try to fake it.

>>674436691
FUCK! I can never get past this without losing my sides

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I would love these threads if I knew how to read.

>>674438817
Long read, but worth.
Miracles do happen.

>>674441444
Holy trips

>>674433286
kek thats bretty gud

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>>674440867
Don't care for ugly even as it is a heart warming read. Already posted it I think>>674438817
I have an alternative though

>>674442143
no thats not the polish girl. its one with a homeless dude who moves in with her and is planning on marrying her, then she dies and he lives alone in misery

>>674437111
nice.

>>674442395
Well suppose that's one I don't have remeber reading though

>>674443391
do whatever is your favorite then

Does someone have the one with the guy that asks a girl if she like the angry videogame nerd?

>>674444080
best one ITT

>>674438817
I'd buy this if it was a book.

>>674445000
Your trips lie, IT is best ITT.

>>674433365

>not funny

Ending was pure cringe.

>>674445000
checked

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My dick.

>Cruz for president

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>>674444080
Guess I'll dump Moar

>>674433286
How bout some OC, cunts

>wake up one morning with a nasty fucking migraine
>oh jesus who did i piss off to deserve this
>choke down 3 cups of coffee and 4 tylenol, head to work
>trying to drive between my haze of pain and the usual morning sleepiness
>hit a 60 km/h section while tapping along to the song on the radio
>SUDDENLY DEER
>FUCK
>try to swerve but the stupid thing leaps in such a way that both of our actions just make it worse
>it's fucking face hits the sturdy corner of my car's front end and takes all the impact
>i see its spine pop out of it's neck in the instant before it's launched in the air
>this stretch of road is adjacent to some houses, and the deer flies over the fence to my right
>lands-

and i shit you not

>lands DIRECTLY in some poor housewife's wheelbarrow she was using to move soil around her garden
>the creature's neck hits the edge while the body lands right inside
>head is removed completely from the body, but strings of gore and sinew trail off from both ends
>she's screaming as i get out of the car, and as i did not see bambi stick the landing I have no idea why i'm hearing screaming
>for a brief terrible moment I think "maybe i hit a kid and thought it was a deer"
>spot the shrieking woman and see the carnage I caused
>oh thank god, i didn't hit a kid, I just gave someone the gift of venison
>my car is fine, dented but not in any way that looks terrible nor impedes function
>also spattered with blood and flesh
>police show up because someone saw impact+blood+screaming
>trying to just get to work so i'm not late, quickly say my bit and they let me go
>get to work and my boss says "I've been trying to call you for an hour, you didn't need to come in today, we're re-doing the carpets"
>quit on the spot, boss is totally confused so i explain why
>he just laughs and tells me there's a job waiting if i need it

this was a year and a half ago. I'm still NEET, though

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>>674446060

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>>674446254

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>>674446551

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>>674433365

>>674446085
How about you get a job, you cunt

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>>674446860

>>674447014
you kiss your mother with that edge, anon?

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i laugh every time

>>674437931
holy shit

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>>674447014
How bout we were having a oleant thread till you came along summoning a cuntstom in your wake.

>>674447095

>>674447346
>Maneater Mildred Summoned

>>674438164
>YOU GAVE ME HOT CHOCOLATE
>NOW I MUST GIVE YOU HOT CHOCOLATE

never laughed so hard in a while

>>674446254
>shit was cash
toppest kek.

>>674436515
Always lose to this

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>>674447346
Fuck these fingers they can't type for shit

>>674447894
>>674447759
Your welcome

>>674444080
This is too absurd to not make me lose.

>>674446254
Nearly fucking choked. top kek

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>>674447998

>>674448184
>>674448344
Greentext/b/ro at your sevice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P73REgj-3UE

video of a guy building a tiled hut with his bare hands.

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>>674448567

>>674433286
ITT : SAME FUCKING STORIES, YEAR AFTER YEAR AFTER YEAR. GTFO FAGGOTS.

requesting that story about a guy stalking someone else with pineapples?

>>674446060
holy shit im crying anon, thanks :^)

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>>674448925
One of my favorites

>>674436515
WHAT THE FUCK TOP FUCKING KEK

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>>674449358

>>674449136
I got you

>>674449351
You welcome /b/ro

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>>674433286
>getting dat potassium like a mad fucker

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>>674449856

>>674449856
Thank you!

>>674433286
FUCKING LOST OP.

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>>674450241

>I want to get off MR BONES WILD RIDE

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>>674450660

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>>674451392

>>674440419
My fucking face reading this tho.

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>>674451670

>>674436515
outstanding 10/10

>>674449018
Well said.

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>>674438164
much kek, Rolf. My sides.
mfw

>>674436691
good story except you can never sleep on lsd, it keeps you up for fucking hours

>>674447280
dang

>>674453525
obvious fake/10

>>674456614
damnit, meant this one >>674455947

>>674438331
this is shit, stop postig it

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not a greentext, but definately the best 4chan has to offer

>>674440769
number 134

>>674447095
bravo