>keep all my clothes on while masturbating
> hate on pine trees

>when peeing I close my foreskin so the pee fills up in my foreskin
idek why

>pretend I'm the leader of my own country when making important decisions
>run around the house like an orc when no ones home

>>674420543
Oh my fucking god I thought I was the only one who took my clothes off. It's the shirt that makes me the most uncomfortable, OP.

>>674420543
The blood thing is relatable, also i tend to take my pants off but never my shirt

>when I feel that I need to take a shit but nothing comes out I insert a finger into my ass and move it around till I can shit

please tell me I'm not the only one doing it

>>674422558
holy fuck

>>674420543
I cant pee when in public.
So I wait till they leave then spit on my hand and rub it in a circle motion on the head of my cock , instantly triggers me to pee.

>Crack my elbows

I feel like sometimes I think I'm the only one who CAN do this.

>>674422558
I have to shit when I finger my ass but this.. oh well anon we're all retarted here

>when i pee i take out my balls aswell

>>674422558
i do this sometimes, usually when i have a stomach ache though

>>674422558

...Pretty sure you're the only one that does that, anon.

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>>674420543
autism and faggotry confrimed

>>674422558
I do this but instead of just moving it around I scoop it out.

>>674422766
all the time mang
my right growth plate was broken at some point in the past, and it cracks like a beast.

>>674420543
I push against my tonsils until I can tongue the stones out.

I then eat them.

I smoke enough weed that when I run out of weed or cigarettes I normally find enough of it spilt on the floor next to me and I scoop it all up and roll a joint...I may have a problem

>i don't use my hands to fap i just hump stuff

>>674423125
holy fuck me to, but with a q tip its so satisfying, to get that smell out of your mouth and nose after days of it being there , god damn anon.

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>>674420957

>>674423095
I forgot to mention that sometimes I crack my wrists, too.

It's probably because I have my laptop on a god awful desk and I have to use the drawer as an armrest because it's so damn small

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>>674420543
I do all three of those.

Nice to know I'm not the only one.

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>>674422558

>>674423223
>on the internet no one knows you're a dog

>>674422308
Like somehow the shit is going to get on it.

>>674422839
Fuck your manly.

I chew on my tongue like gum when i concentrate

>After masturbating, I eat my own cum

Pretty positive I'm the only one who does this

>>674423223
I used to do that before I actually knew how to fap

>>674423700
Nope. Gayanon here does this as well

>>674423433
Illuminati trips
I start from the ground up- instep to ankle to knees to pelvis. etc etc.
its a sick as fuck feeling to crack multiple joints from extremities to core.

>>674423700
nope, I do too.

>>674423223
Are you a grill, because Im a grill and I hump stuff instead of finger banging.
>I don't recomend it you'll get meat curtains

>>674420957
I do this fam, it actually is good to clean it.

>while i drive i've got the urge of talking about nothing with crazy voices in my mother tongue or english french spanish portuguese.. i guess it's my time to get all the shit out to avoid being an autist with other people

>>674423955
What kinds of barbeque do you cook.

>>674422558
>>674423045
I do both

>I pick my nose and I don't really care who sees.
>if somone says it's gross, I secretly wipe boogers on thin gs they won't notice till I'm gone
>the back of remotes, triggers on controllers,bottom of thier lighter ect

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>>674423929
I tried cracking the phalangeal joints of my fingers one time. I could only do it once. Now whenever I try to do it, I feel like I'm breaking them.

>>674424418
I do that occasionally

>>674424418
Doing that with somones pinky is called milking the mouse and will get you punched.

>>674420543
I do both the blood one and the stairs one :I
I also physically can't go to sleep unless I wear a specific type of t-shirt and boxer briefs. I haven't slept for 2 nights because I didn't have the right underwear on a holiday. What the fuck is wrong with me?

>>674423930
How does it taste? I've always been curious but I've never done it. Mine smells like bleach after a little while.

>>674424418
they have to be done at weird angles i think.
i do a lot of massage work and its a god send- get like 30 cracks in a row.

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>>674424584
I moved from the city to the country

Couldnt sleep properly for weeks, It was too quiet
>Play white noise to go to sleep every night.
>Inb4 Spoopy

>>674424705
Someone please explain this

My fingers always feel so stiff from not being able to fully crack them.

>>674424631
tastes like a salty water liquid, and if I leave it on my hands for a few moments it smells like bleach also, fucking weird bro.

>>674422839
People don't already do that? Well shi t.

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>>674423501

>>674424808
buy a fan nigro

>Try to never poop anywhere but at home so that I can shower after I poop.

>>674424983
This image is great thank you

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>>674424983
I require more trumps.

Remove one leg from my pants while taking a shit. Idk why but both legs just makes me uncomfortable.

>>674420795
>hate on pine trees
lol why

Pee in sinks to save time in home

>While wiping after taking a shit, I pinch and pull out ass hair.

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>>674425183

>>674425442
Trust me. That is a terrible idea. No matter how much you think it might be annoying, you need ass hair.

>I think Bieber is not a faggot.

>Drink 3/4 litre of wine a night, fall asleep around 10:30, wake up at 2 am to take a shit and finish off the bottle before going back to sleep.

may be other alcoholics on here, but I think I'm the only one who does this haha

On Sunday nights, I like to eat a lot and then take the laxatives that you have to shove up your ass. After 5 minutes I'll take a shit in my sister's bathroom for 45 minutes and not flush. She's already sleeping by that point so I don't get caught. I wake up super early in the morning and get ready for school, and just as my sister goes into the bathroom, I run out the door.

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>>674425385
same

>>674425276
Ever lived in arkansas? Pine trees can rot in hell

>>674425593
the fuck u do.

>>674425884
hard to hang the big negros from them weak ass high up branches innit?

>>674424926
My wife said it's not the taste that's gross it's the texture. What's the texture like? I'm genuinely curious.

>>674422558
Had to do this earlier today, had the shits like a muffucka from getting drunk af last night. Felt like I had to shit so badly but nothing was coming so I stuck it up the ol pooper and instant relief

>>674422766
I have to do it too or my shit locks up and hurts like hell. I think it is from sleeping with my arm off the side of the bed

>>674425890
Ever gotten a friction burn? Imagine that on your asshole. Tried shaving my ass once, worst mistake of my life

>>674425507
what is his power and toughness?

>>674421786
>like an orc
explain further

>>674426105
varies from water to gel.

piss in a bath tub, never had a piss in a toilet for 2 years, tub is always yellow

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>>674426546
>explain further

literally made me laugh so fucking hard and I have no idea why. holy shit.

>>674425841

Don't you think it would be more rewarding to be nice to your sister and get in her pants than to be a disgusting asshole?

>>674426070
>>674425884
I feel you. Those fucking needles get god damn everywhere. Also, they cut down our town's hangin' tree a few years back.

>>674426348
i need to know this so i can decide whether to put it in my new deck or not

>>674426552
Interesting. Thanks anon.

>>674426976
>always make my sister and me lunch when im home
>whnever I make bacon sandwhiches
>I cum on hers and mix it in when shes in her room or whatever
>Sit down together In the kitchen and eat
>Pretty sure she knows she always looks at me when she eats it
>Gets me hard as fuck
>always kisses me on the cheek and thanks me.
>Dick is diamonds.

>>674426976
No, considering the fact that incest is fucking stupid.

>>674426070
Not sure if Conway has a hanging tree still but like >>674427081 said those fucking needles get everywhere

>I poke my balls with a needle while I fap

>>674427274
ITT shit that never happened

>>674427274
OH FUCK DUDE

>>674420543
i sniff my shit after i wipe.

>single so I write sexual shit in Google docs
....like 50 shades bullshit because I never fucked in highschool. I'm sure I'm not the only one but damn it's rough

while I'm cumming I raise my leg on the table and stretch it or move it in a dog-like motion
it makes the cumming so more pleasurable

If I think a door I'm about to open might be locked for some reason, I involuntarily try to open it a lot harder than I would if I knew it weren't locked. So I either open an unlocked for door way too fast, or I just really look like a moron fighting a locked door.

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>>674427467
believe what you want nigger, it certainly does happen.

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>>674427525
what, do expect it to smell like something other than shit? strawberries? coconut? pizza? smoked brisket? what? explain!

>>674427274
you mean you think about doing some shit like that

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>>674427274
I think I can say that you're a bigger dick to your sister than I am.

>>674423700
do it too

>>674427769
never asked you faggots to believe me.

>>674427813
>>674423700
cum has calories, gotta get those gainz brah

>>674422558

Does this cause dysentery after prolonged fingering? Sometimes I feel like I'm shitting too much and get lightheaded.

>>674423125
wat

>I have vaginal intercourse with my girlfriend

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>>674420795
>hate on pinetrees
wot

>>674427939
he means the booooogers bro

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>>674427960
yo, what the fuck.....

>I say racist things on the internet

>>674428046
no he means stones. google throat stones.

loling at every post

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>>674424213

Good Joke

>I piss in the sink of every bathroom I go into, unless I'm also taking a shit
>I put toilet paper on the seat of every toilet, including mine at home

>>674425777

I finished a 2L bottle of wine one time. Wasn't drunk, just sleepy. Although ironically can't sleep with alcohol in my system, ended up tossing and turning the whole night. Wojdknt recommend doing it every night though.

Eat random plants and lick random ass mushrooms because I'm fucking weird like that...like out it the woods I'll pick up mushrooms I know are poisonous and nibble like a pea sized chunk....Russian roulette with out the gun

inject heroin into my dick veins

>>674428544
But you know what....I never get sick. I frenched my girl when she had stre and always drink after sick people...I never get sick for some reason

>>674428642
Fuck you, seen that in person couldn't even believe people did that shit.

I cringe everytime I think of that.

>>674424584
I can only sleep naked

>>674428793
It hits you so much harder brah

>>674428544
What the fuck is wrong with you

i try to only take 2 steps per sidewalk square while walking naturally as i can

chew on my finger calluses until the skin comes off then eat them
also do it on the inside of my cheeks

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Been fired from several jobs for dumb shit , every time they asked me why I said aint nothing to it Gangsta rap made me do it.

They are never impressed and tell me to get the fuck out.

>>674428927
Fuuuuck that shit. I snort mine. I have to go in a different room when people shoot up around me, seen and heard the pain.

Plus theres the one time this girl shot up my friend and meant to cause her to OD. TRIED to kill her, but failed. She even told me to my face she shot her up with a fuckton of dope

>>674428793
>>674428998
there's alot of shit i never thought id do.
also the further it is from your brain and heart the less you feel. for some people its the only veins they have left

>>674429480
Brb taking an extra suboxone
>please dont relapse please dont relapse

>>674429494
Trust, Ive been there, still am. I do shit to this day I can't believe I do....all for a high.

>>674428376
I'm at the point, I'm not sure i can fall asleep without basically polishing off a bottle. and i wake at 2am on the nose every night, and need that last little bit to get back to sleep

ya my life is pretty fucked

>>674429480
lol I like PST
never done h
too scurd

>>674429669
Share one, fucker i haven't used. Starting to feel that feeling. I'd love the taste of a suboxone right now

>everytime I take a shit I clean myself and examine the poo on the paper carefully to make sure there are no worms inside

>>674425442
i do this too

>>674429669
what's the easiest way to get?

>>674427352

>I go out of my way to force my sister to see my poop all the time

>Having sex with your sister because you like sex and she is female is stupid

Ok

>>674429725
i hope you get out man really. i never thought id be able too. it took me almost lost my leg to gangrene and now im 6 months sober

>>674429906
Just don't over due it. Basically you need half of what you would need in cocaine. Anymore and you're a greedy bastard that will eventually OD

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>>674429913
If you were in gaydaho i totally would
i never let a homie go sick
>tfw been on this shit for months and do not know how long i will continue to take it

>>674430002
suboxone isnt a drug to get high on. just do heroin

if you need it you dont need to ask where to get

>>674430105
>"dont do it"
>"only do a little"

nwrud

I chew on my toenails after cutting them lol... pretty sure only I do that.

Had this serious athlete's foot condition.
Used to peel the skin off my feet palms, then ate it to gain immunity... Didn't work

>>674429161

God damn it me too

>autism

>>674430002
Script and insurance my man

>>674430039
I hope I get out too. My house is up for foreclosure, I lost my ex, my family doesn't talk to me, I burned my bridges.

Probably will suicide to be honest...might just snort a ton and just nod off..thanks bro, I'm trying to get out.

>>674430308
lick my asshole faggot

>>674430038
Not sure who the fuck taught you that incest was okay.

>>674430399
Dubs confirm
Start lickin

>>674430394
When it comes to family, you can always go back. Some bridges you just can't burn, bro.

>>674428544
i think you can build up an immunity to it like that.

>rub my dick on doorknobs
>wipe dicksweat from tip on hot coworkers drink openings
>jerk off atleast once in every new workplace just to see if i can get away with it
>steal shit feel guilty drivr back to the store to put it back

>>674430399
r u like 10

>>674430394
Sub ox one

EVERY time I'm watching porn and I see a cumshot, I count the number of individual pulses of cum that shoot (or ooze) out.

I've found that most people have 7 to 9 "shots".

It's not totally uncommon to see dudes with 11 shots, but there seems to be a major barrier after that.

I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen 12 or 13 shots and I've NEVER seen 14.

>walk like a chess piece on the kitchen floor

>>674430831
Kills bordem

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>>674422558

>>674430715
wow

>>674430655
I live in flint Michigan. The dealer's don't want to give up suboxones on the fact they would lose a customer.

>>674424418
I have a literal ritual of cracking all main knuckles, then all individual fingers, both sides, also rubbing my nose with knuckles in a flick motion and clicking teeth... Pretty sure they are undiagnosed ticks

>>674431029
holy shit nigger im in Taylor

>>674430499

Who taught you the arbitrary concept of what is "ok" or not?

There are only two types of actions if you really condense the idea of morality: those that negatively affect others and those that don't.

Banging your sister if she wants to do it isn't an action that exists on the axis of right or wrong. It's just a consensual choice.

>>674423955
Did it give you sloppy lips?
My thing is I love to suck on big sloppy labia

>>674431029
And the dope is awesome too
I loved Michigan

>they're are prolly clincs that offer it there as well

I do hope you get out somehow tho
Best wishes from gaydaho

>i wipe my dick after i pee

>>674431029
Where I'm from suboxone is really hard to get but isn't it supposed to be used to supplement going off the rails, speak to a doctor not a dealer to get some

>>674422766
i can do this and it freaks me out

>>674431434
Wheres that

>>674431200
What up fellow Michigander. I wish I could say Im from anywhere but flint.

Used to live in owosso.....ruined that. Back to this shit hole.

>>674425777
Check'd, and I've done this. I crack a beer right out of bed tbh

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>>674430651
>jerk off atleast once in every new workplace just to see if i can get away with it

>>674420795
You're the guy that started that shit thread. Those are spruce trees faggot, spruce trees!

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>>674423700
protein is protein

>>674431581
Straya m8 never had a problem with it personally but know others who have, I seen alot of shit in my time

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>>674422558
>say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?

>>674422766
I do this all the time you stupid fucking dumbass faggot.

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>>674420543
Every time I talk to a woman I imagine her farting or shitting.

>>674431370
I force myself to go through the withdrawals. Just to relapse....because of where I live and the things in my life.

Will do what I can someday, you guys push me to that point but I can't walk out the door for fear of a sober life...a life I don't know. Or remember

>>674431419
Same here

>>674431625
At worst point was drinking either a slab (case for you yanks) in 2 days or a bottle in a day, body just started being all nah man

>>674431585
Just chillin out brotha. When I was 17 I went to rehab in Saginaw at a place called Kairos or spelt something like that. It was right off Dixie highway, right down the street from Saginaw Highschool. Horrible fuckin area lol and im right off the freeway to detroit, 15 mins away

>>674431631
Havent got caught yet.
Wiped cum on the best sellers section at barnes an noble

>>674431585
>>674431370
>>674431200
>>674431029
Clarkston.
You guys are white trash.

>occasionally after i take a shit I would pick it up with my hands and squeeze it and watch it go through my fingers

>>674428327
I just squat on the toilet. I have PTSD from that arachnids movie when the giant fucking spider is hiding in it.

>dare myself to find the wierdest porn and fap to it
>use milk before I put in cereal
>dip cookies in jus d'orange instead of milk

>>674432116
nigger I was locked up in Clinton County and I don't do dope. weed and whiskey

>>674431993
Fuck mate you're not alone hammer isn't my thing shard is for the most part and I know this same ugly cycle I'm just lucky I got cunt's who look after me otherwise I'd be fucked so much worse by now.

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>>674432173
You are not alone

>>674432081
for the last 5 months I've been on a constant, litre of wine every sunday-thursday, case of beer between friday and saturday. Theres definitely times I'm feeling it, but for the most part i don't much anymore

>>674422766
I do it by stiffening & straightening my arms out sometimes.

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>>674432116
Im somewhat white. Half black half white. Fuck you faggot. We blacks from flint venture on here, believe it or not

>>674422558
Nooooooooooooooooo!!!

>>674430377
I do this too, but i imagine the squares as 4 triangles and can not step on the lines.

>>674424064
>it actually is good to clean it.
Or, you know, you could just actually wash your smegma dick with soap and water when you take a shower.

>>674432376
That actually made me feel better

when a hobo asks me for change i hand them a cig instead

i guess it's better to shorten their sorry lifetime instead of giving money to prolong it

>>674432542
yeah but what about the other 29 days of the month?

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I didn't know this was a cringe thread.

>>674432531
2 steps a stride depending on the pattern yeh?
>It's also a variant of the sword game you play with your eyes whilst driving

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>>674423929
>...trips?

>Imagine what it would be like to be a chick getting fucked while I masturbate
>Wish and dream nightly that I could go back and be born a woman instead
>Wear panties every day

>>674422558
>tfw I just did that

>>674432567
Fuck the status quo

>>674420543
>>I take all my clothes off before I take a shit.
Me too, anon.
>also
>smell toilet paper after whiping, very strange I have no scat fetish and am actually repulsed by the smell yet I still do it
>grind my teeth to a tune
>swish carbonated drinks in my mouth before swallowing to avoid the fizzy burn in throat
>jizz in my own trousers and just pull them up and let dry on my leg/trouser leg as to achieve Maximus Stealthimus

>>674431993
dude i know its as if if i werent doing drugs wtf would i be doing? its been so long i dont rem

>>674432772
Got something to say to ya fam

>>674420543
>violently and spasmadically run, skip, or hop through the kitchen and into the living when no ones home
>quietly make physically exaggerated reactions and sometimes making high-pitched or retard-like noises whilst doing so, including maniacal(but quiet) laughing

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>>674422558

>>674425593
Why? To catch dust & mites so you'll fart them out?

>Pop my jaw
Pretty sure I'm one of very few who do this.

>>674432979
Thank God I'm not alone

>>674420543
>I cum in the sauna heaterthing

>>674432979
get the fuck out of here. I literally do this same shit. sometimes I slam, punch or smack my forehead really hard too. idk why, I just get really fuckin excited sometimes and spaz the fuck out. It's weird. and I only do it when im home alone

>>674432930
Probably sleeping next to that girl, you know the one, probably have enrolled in university like you planned and got a meaty chunk done, probably stayed close with all those friends you pushed away you are trying to rekindle with and probably not constantly feel like everything you do is a fuck up regardless of how good and honest of a person you are.

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I use this thing to masturbate with.

Anyone else store their toenail clippings in an ashtray by the bed?

>>674432930

I remember the first time I smoked weed, and the last time I snorted heroin and smoked crack.

My memory is probably fucked for life.

>>674430715
Hahahaha fucking what?
Make a graph of that shit.

>>674429938
>I'm fucking paranoid

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>>674432623

>>674425442
You are not the only one anon

Every single time I need to shit I take a bath and finger the shit out and toss it into the toilet or smash it down the drain. I've literally been doing this since I was 10 years old. I'm a monster and should be hung.

>>674425884
For over a decade my front yard was filled with ponderosa pines. My parents would make us rake up all the needles which covered the yard completely.
But by the time you got them raked completely, the ground was already being heavily covered back up again.

Fling my shit like a monkey at people that piss me off.

I lick my glasses to clean them instead of breathing on them or washing it with water

>rub my dogs nostrils in my eyes
>peel skin and eat it
>pick up ants and put them in bottle, place on another ant hill and watch battle of the ants occur

>>674433359
I learnt over time to not do it coz I used to do it at in opportune moments constantly, I feel it comes from an expression so real you have to project it and you don't want to hurt anyone else

>>674432954
then say it faggot

>>674426339
Shaving is not the same as pulling some out.

>I shove my shit back up my ass to let more come out.

>>674430651
How many workplaces have you jerked of and gotten away with it?
How many times have you been caught?

>>674433807
That they probably wish to be a women, which is cool

>>674420543
I do the stairs thing sometimes

I'm a habitual liar. It started as a kid, I got away with shit. Now it's caused my life. People want nothing to do with me.

Never lie to the ones closest to you.

>>674433745
Are you fucking autistic?

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>>674432134
nice

>>674433133
I do this constantly when stressed

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>run from any part of the house to the other, never walk.

>>674434171
>I'm a habitual liar.

I don't know if I should believe you

>>674434249
Not at all. It's just a habit, y'know? I peel the skin off my fingertips with my teeth.

>>674426339
You must be fat. I shave my as regularly. No issues

>>674427679
cant tell if stolen demetri martin joke or just weird.

>>674434171
Never lie in general mate, it's something to pride yourself on little bending of the truth to spare feelings or keeping secrets aside straight out being dishonest is fucking yuck

>>674434406
My fucking point.

>>674423731
Same

>sleep in formal shirts, with collar stiffeners and stuff
>take bath with lights out

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>>674429352
Nah that doesn't happen.

>>674434024
I mean, I do, so yeah.

i stick my finger up my anus and sniff my finger because i like the smell of my own shit. but not too much shit, like, just a little bit. I also do this when im farting and its really fucking weird that I do this

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>Pull at the snakeskin on my fingers
>Hurts like fuck, love it though
>Eat the skin when it breaks
>If it bleeds I suck the finger until it stops

I swear I am alone, god help us if I am not

>I punch my legs to the extent of bruising because of my depression and anger problems with myself

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>>674432772

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>>674424343

>>674425777
>Anonymous
>litre of wine
is it to wash the taste of dick out of your mouth?
drink spirits like a real alcoholic u pleb.

>>674430375
>Had
I'd say it worked.

>>674427679
Keys will open only physical doors, I think I may be going about this the wrong way

>>674434837
Nope, I do this shit too. The smell of my own ass is delicious, I regularly scratch my ass hole and smell my fingers when going to bed, like, every night.

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lay in shower and think about life for hours

>>674433133
Me too