This is gonna be a long one guys, buckle up I need some serious advice. I promise you that this will be the most interesting thing on /b/ at least for tonight.
Longtime /b/ lurker about 10 years now first post in a longtime
Here's my situation.
Me: 5th year senior in college, 6' 220, no self confidence (anxiety, slight depression, self image issues) Virgin loser with a decent income would rate my looks a 3/10
>rewind 8 years
>be 15
>playing cod online all the time
>doing decent had like a 3.7k/d
>eventually join a clan game battles all the nerdy shit you do when your a lost teen
>get close to my clan we play all the time
>just about every night, didn't go out very much at the time
>clan had about 8 people in it
>one was a foreign girl about my age
>play all the time with them, and eventually start getting friendlier with her (never seen her only spoke)
>like hopping on Xbox just to talk in a party with her and stuff
>eventually get pretty close and begin to know each other very deeply sharing personal things with each other
>at this point it's all been friendly, flirty, but she was fun to talk to honestly
>and not to mention she sounds like she'd be pretty hot with her Dutch accent
>obviously at this point I want to know what she looks like and vice Versa we share facebooks and hers is very.... Empty.
>I'm not an idiot so this has me pretty worried, under a hundred friends, 4 or 5 pictures, literally nothing on the wall
>but that's not it....
>the craziest part of it all that made me start to think catfish was when I went through her pictures....
Bump with cats/fish or catfish
(1/?)
>I scroll through her page and she's literally super hot, like a fucking model. Literally on her page it says she's a model and her photos are modeling pics.
>yeah exactly, catfish alarm
>remember, I'm an overweight ugly dude, but my Facebook page was legit, and hers looks like it was made a week ago
>at the time I'm pretty lonely tho
>I just look over it and figure "what the fuck" not like she likes halfway across the world or anything (spoiler alert: she does)
>keep playing xbox with her and keep talking and skype calling with her (never video calls tho, said she didn't have a webcam but I'd video chat her with mine)
>looking back I guess I wanted to believe... I Guess that's why I kept talking to her
>many months go by
>still talking to her on a regular basis
>only voice calls and chat never vids chat
>we get pretty close at this point
>honestly a very awesome fun personality, I really did enjoy talking with her and she we were, as I've said, very close with each other verbally.
>we eventually start to get on the talk about what if we ever met?
>this is when things really get interesting.....
(2/?)
Catfish
Bump the thread if I should continue... Typing this out is a bitch if no one is reading it... Again it's a long story I'm warning you...
Please have a happy ending OP
>>674351318
Bump, and post pics
I want to know how this ends
Okay ill keep going but if this doesn't stay bumped I won't repost
>since we became friends on Facebook shes added only a couple more modeling photos because I was kinda bugging her to video chat or see more pics of her
>remember at this point we've been talking regularly for over a year
>we still play cod occasionally but only really together and not with the clan anymore
>really just skype voice call with her often and such
>we talk about everything from goals, dreams, from meeting each other to just bullshitting- we really get along well and we began to really care for each other...
>months go by and we stay close and one day she calls me
>I answer the phone and she's got news for me
>she sounded excited so I was interested
>the news is she met her first boyfriend and they've started dating and stuff
>bla bla bla bla
>tells me more about him and ends it with a "don't worry I still love you though" and ends the call
>cool news, don't really care but happy for her because she seemed like a nice girl
>fast forward a few more months or so and we're both getting to that point we're going off to college.
>I go to college home in the states and she got into some art school in Amsterdam
>the day she graduates she messages me saying she's got good news for me
>she said that she got a new computer for graduating to do all her class work on
>she ends it telling me that it has a webcam and that we'll be able to video chat soon!
>I think to myself wow, at this point I've talked to her for 2 1/2 years and have seen her 8 or so modeling photos and that's it
>a few weeks go by and she messages me
>"Heyyy do you want to Skype me?"
>you won't believe where it goes from here...
(3/?)
>>674351318
Also, if your gonna green text, pre-type it all out so you don't keep us waiting, and keeps thread alive
Bumperino
>>674352223
Keep the thread Alive and that won't be an issue
>>674352355
hurry up transnigger
moreeeeeeee
>>674352029
You sound like a fucking click-bait article
BURN BARRY'S BALLS!
>>674352029
Dont keep me waiting, nigger!
Interested in seeing where this is going.
i swear if there is some bullshit punchline leading up
Keep going OP
Is the twist she was black so you cut your dick off?
>>674352830
Im not so yeah. What you don't trust reCAPTCHAs abilities?
>>674352890
thanks for that.
>inb4 dinosaur
>>674353059
more of the "you wont believe where it goes from here..."
>>674352029
moar...
>>674353104
more webm's while we wait?
>>674353166
>moar to come too
op plz
Stop building your nigger hypetrain and just tell the fucking story already.
Yes plz
>>674353104
Anyone got her with just one dude?
I've never understood that group sex shit
>>674353213
I'm not OP but sure
Keep it up fg
>>674353386
that was nice, more fat ass grils plz.
>>674353386
holyshit moar?
continuee please...
>>674353538
OK
>>674353700
That was high grade, more weird shit like that.
>>674353700
where did it go...?
Bumping for more
>>674353509
wow what a fucking faker
BUMP. hurry OP. I need to go to the gym.
>>674353881
Same
Sorry for the wait trying to pre type as I go...
>I say yes and we make plans to skype later that night
>10pm rolls around and she says to me she's ready
>we share info
>then I got the call...
>I answered....
>her video chat doesn't work
>she can only see me and I can't see her
>she says she can't figure out this new computer and blames it on that but claims she definitely has a camera
>30 minutes go by and after trying to help her "figure it out" her camera turns on
>pitch black
>her camera shows nothing but darkness then I can hear some fumbling in the background so I can hear her mic
>the darkness turned into a dark figure
>as the lights adjusted I could start to see more features
>I hear the voice I've been talking to for these past couple years and I can now make up the face... I see a small figure and I ask her to turn on the lights
>lights turned on and I could see the person on the other side perfectly, moving around ever so slightly...
>I can see her, and I can't believe what I'm seeing in front of me
>it's definitely a girl, and I realize that I recognize her face...
(4/?)
Don't leave us hanging OP, I've only got so many webms, I'm doing this from a phone.
Just please hurry this up.
>>674354035
>>674354059
Like I said it's a long story....
>>674354035
these are highly appreciated.
>>674353981
feed me
>>674353981
Jesus fucking christ OP Get on with it I need to sleep
Oh shit
>>674353981
Just post plzzz
This better not end in the loch Ness monster asking for tree fiddy
>>674354225
sorry, continue at your own pace.
>>674353981
Thanks OP, I'll keep bumping what I've got, but try not to take too long, I've gotta get some sleep.
>>674354035
Anything of malena morgan?
B.U.M.P.
>>674354285
it's totally going to
Read this
Admission to the next portion of the greentext will cost $3.50
>>674353981
she's a dinosaur right? Fuck me. I knew this was gonna happen
>>674354225
Omfg for fucks sake just type it forget the greentext!!
>>674354423
trex probably
>>674354323
No idea bro, these are just some I saved for fapping later. I don't know who any of the chicks are.
>>674354508
no.. greentext makes it worth reading.
>>674354371
that was biblical.
>>674354395
I used to dip red seal. That was some good stuff.
But what if we bump to hard the thread derails. Or worse. We reach post limit. The irony
>>674352890
anyone got some sauce on this
>>674354395
keek
>>674354567
Hurry up faggot. I'm about to jizz.
>>674354716
you can find the full video @ happypuppies , net :)
>>674354618
Biblical?
>>674354671
I'll post another webm after the next part of the story
>>674354865
not literally.
>>674352890
Sauce?
Look dude, this is either a man or a horrendously ugly thing. Don't get involved. I'm telling you from personal experience, abort mission.
>>674354865
shaft my dad and call me sally.
>>674353981
>>674352029
shit OP this getting good
You on Kazoo
For the cause
>>674354035
Sauce?
OP keep going
inb4 Bel-air
inb4 dinosaur
inb4 any shitty incorporation of song lyrics
>inb4 she needs treefiddy
>>674353981
>inb4 ur mom
>inb4 sister
What if it's not even catfish but a case were the female is a victim of human trafficking in her country. Be careful OP.
Inb4 cancer nana or ceaner
>>674354865
Why the fuck does with look like the chick from Chvrches? OMFG!
I think OP underestimated our ability to keep this bumped.
>>674354035
She's got like a whole paragraph tattooed, jeez.
And then...?
>"hey can you hear me?" She says
> I'm zoned out, staring at her, processing what exactly I'm seeing...
>petite frame blonde hair big blue eyes
> holy fuck
>holy
>fuck
>Holy fuck it's the girl from the fucking modeling pictures
>right there on the other side of the video camera talking to me
>she's even more good looking on skype, still acted the same and I was shocked it was actually her
>she's literally a 10/10 hands down the most gorgeous girl I've ever talked to...
>like I'm not kidding, she wasn't a 7 and I'm exaggerating. Like she's a ten. She's a fucking model. And a freaky one too. Very artsy.
>video chatted with her in awe for hours
>couldn't believe it and kept talking to her for hours a night after that..
>nothing serious sparked but we remained close, but got to the point where we'd go extended periods of time not talking...
> over the last few years, she continued with the same boyfriend
>at this point they've been dating for like five years, and we're both just living our lives while we keep in touch
>we always talk about meeting and whatnot and we remain very close
>she says all the time how she wishes she could come visit me
>now we fast forward to a month ago
>this is really where I need your help /b/....
(5/?)
>>674355417
Gif sauce?
lump
>>674355264
Yeah totally this, my mom and sister have a dutch accent too
fuck off faggot
>>674355271
Then why would she be on Skype?
>>674355417
Sauce or full vid?
Wow lame story.
Lame
Probably that ugly girl you had in that one class, that you found out from a friend that she liked you, and was all creepy. Yeah that girl
In b4 trolled
>>674355482
Pics now
>>674355482
op nigger you type like you have no fingers, lets speed it up.
>>674355482
B/ro this is to much backstory/ vivid detail. Give a fucking concise timeline for us to defuse this bomb
10 fucking minutes per post. What a waste of time.
>>674355482
nice job opee
>>674355482
imma need some images real quick bro
and holy shit OP im on the edge of my seat fuck me
"you won't believe where it goes from here" yeah k
op is taking so long to reply because he's busy samefagging
idiots
OP here, I'm typing with my nose to make the story seem more interesting.
>>674355617
>wut
>>674355866
dubs confirm op and the truth
>>674355844
Make him prove it you fucking newfag. Or do you not know how to do that yet?
here comes the "whats my next move /b/" bullshit
>>674355882
What the fuck do you think he means? Pictures of the supposed 10/10 now
Op is a fag
if my post ends with 3 OP is about to screw up
>>674355482
What's troubling you my son?
>>674355982
select, inspect element, right click, delete
>>674356026
Rolling for this
>>674355482
Post pics you shit
>>674355482
>
moar
>>674356074
Trips = true
>>674354395
>>674353104
need sauce
ill drown a baby as payment, i will deliver.
>>674356074
Looks like OP is in the clear
guys how do i deal with post masturbational depression
>>674355606
good work.
>well /b/...
>just when i saw her start to get sleepy it got interesting
>she didn't say much after that she just started to blink
>those beautiful blue beady eyes
>someone called to her and said the most outrageous thing
>"i need some help paying this mover"
>she said "ill be right back"
>her camera must've fallen and i could see the door..
>the next i heard was
>"OPEN THE DOOR, GET ON THE FLOOR
> EVERYBODY WALK TO THE DINOSAUR"
(6/6)
>>674356395
kurt cobain
>>674356229
>Be OP
>take an hour between posts
>no pics
>no proof
Rollerino
>>674356395
lol i've had that. instead after a good wank i make sure to smile and think of stuff as tho I was 4 that helps me
>>674356437
>>674356395
Firearms seem to do the trick. Just don't miss.
>>674356437
And no keks were had
>>674356437
>>674356437
I'll fookkin end ya m8
Wow what a shitty ending you cuck-stain.
>>674356437>>674356437
i hope this isnt u OP
>>674356437
well played OP
>>674356437
fuck you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYKupOsaJmk
>one day I'm just working on some class work and that girl messages me saying we should talk again since its been so long
>haven't really kept in touch with her as well as I used to at this point... We're both really busy and just life was in the way.
>I oblige and we agree to FaceTime later that day
>she calls me and we talk
>says she has some good news for me
>tells me that she broke up with her boyfriend
>"he was a douche bla bla bla oh well I'm happy to be single" type deal she told me
>they dated for like years at this point, so I was surprised to hear
>we facetimed for hours that night
>she facetimed me after she went out to the bar the next day
>she's drunk and tells me how much she loves me bla bla bla wish guys near her were like me.. I just keep it friendly and tell her she's beautiful but at the same time I call her a cunt because we're cool like that
>we FaceTime daily for a few days and we talk about how now that we've grown up more we can afford to meet each other..
>at this point, we've grown very close and we definitely both have some kind of feelings for each other, we truly care about one another
>kinda have fantasy talk about meeting each other and what we'll do and how how weird or fun it'll be..
>now here's where I need your help /b/ I really don't know what to do from here...
(6/?)
>>674356699
Quads checked
>>674356740
newfag checked
>>674356437
After all these years you guys still Naive as fuck.
I'm glad OP trolled you guys, freaking deepshits.
>>674356722
wow bonus round OP, applauded
>>674356437
be an hero op. 0/10
>>674356722
Put it in her pooper
>>674356722
Run to her op
>>674356722
how many times have you said "I don't know what to do from here" now
>>674356722
seal the deal, anon. tell her you wanna meet her in person and have a date.
>>674356653
holy fuk it wasn't OP I think probably maybe
>>674356722
>>674356722
Kill her and wear her skin you autistic fuck.
>>674356722
What to do with what? What are you even debating?
>>674356722
Alright OP, I'm still interested
>>674356722
meet her obviously omg what iss wrong with your brain, what is there to discuss?
>>674357027
Shut your faggot mouth you edgy cunt
>>674357027
This or you're retarded
>>674356437
what if not OP?
>>674357027
And he's the autistic fuck.
>>674356722
> meet up
> rape her
> kill her
> cut off skin
> put on skin
> ???
> profit
>>674356740
sorry for calling you a newfag anon, please enjoy your stay you lil' shit
>>674357063
you can see her breast implants,
turn off for me
>>674357063
FRAKENTITS!
>>674356437
>>674353104
>>674354423
>>674355210
we already knew what was gonna happen you fucking faggot
How long does a thread stay alive b4 it 404s pls /b/ros this shit is intense
hurry up you wank stain
>>674357211
Trips checked
thanks OP for the wait trip, now i have post masturbational depression and im exausted
>>674357278
idk but i think if you BUMP it just right...
Op you better hurry up. I gotta cut her skins off
>>674357204
decend idea
>>674356722
arrange a meet up asap bro, move on from there
i work at a hospital in arizona, i monitor newborns on the grave shift, i go out of my way to make sure each and every baby gets my dick in its mouth.
Quit typing with your jew nose OP
>>674357278
You new here?
>>674356722
meet her for sure. but what are you looking to get out of it? one night stand? relationship?
>>674357345
Summer already here?
>>674357450
#relatable
>>674356722
wtf is wrong with you? just meet her dammit.
>>674357494
A skin suit.
>>674357450
Doing god's work.
>>674357278
Newfag
the reply from OP is coming soon I can feel it...
>>674357465
Kinda but usually dont lurk long enough to see a thread die
>>674357580
this guy knows what the fuck he's talking about
>>674356722
>omg hot girl wut do?!??
>I'm totally asking for help and not bragging
>>674357623
goddamn sauce plz
>>674357623
>be op
>forget to pretype
>sucks own dick while deivering
>MFW
>>674357719
google image search "Big Boobs" Top result.
>>674357707
holy shit this
>>674357623
I refuse to believe
>>674357850
I want to believe Schully
>>674357792
i want the tonka trucks name, not the pic
>>674349943
1) Hit the gym
2) Get a job
3) Find hobbies other than vidya
4) Find things interesting in your area
5) Pay for this chick to come over
6) Stick it in her pooper
7) Profit?
>>674357955
Bessie
>>674356722
Meet her but don't offer to pay for anything. If she truly wants to see you she'll make the effort
the most you could pitch for is half the plane cost. Even that's pretty beta
>>674357955
Sally Newman