>>673480585
what you need is a psychiatrist, and a reduction of stress, and an increase in physical exercise.
>source, i've been in your boat, sometimes i find a way out

Call 911, stage a fake heart attack, let the Amber Lamps take you to the ER, get a Doctor to cure you of OCD & sneak out without being discharged so you don't pay medical bills.

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>>673480943
im too fucked to go to a psychiatrist. I cant eat or drink anything while watching tv/listening to a song/watching a youtube video or places which i dont hang out frequently in real life for example while sitting on a sidewalk and eating.

>sometimes become aware of my senses. Breathing,blinking .....just like now.

>cant masturbate more than once a day.

>cant masturbate to a pornstar or name of a video i know/ the video has to be completely random.
Which is tedious cause i find a real good video and i find i know a pornstar or catch a glimpse of the name of the vid and i have to find another one.

Im also aware of numbers a lot. I downloaded a porn video a few years ago and to this day ive counted that ive masturbated 21 times to it.

>

>>673480943
I play football and im feeling really weird cause i masturbated to a video of a pornstar i know.

I masturbated to a kinky video of 2 monkeys fucking a football at least 12 times.

>>673482443
Man i dont know what wrong with me. Im at the end of my rope. My parents are dead. Im turning twenty and having difficulty finishing my A levels. I wish i could masturbated to that monkey video...i fucking wish.

>>673480585
id switch my tourettes for ocd anyday you're lucky op

>>673480585

Psychfag here - go see a Psychiatrist. Even the worst cases of OCD can be dealt with - it's not too late for you to live a normal life.

Or, maybe you're just a faggot who would rather bitch all the time than utilize the gift of life - in that case, kill yourself.

Look OP. I know this probably won't help much, but I'm here to listen to you bro. Everyone has there own quarks and kinks. You just have to look at yourself and notice them. Then try to work with them, and get friends who understand. Trust me, they are out there. Don't feel judged or anything and if you are playing on committing suicide. Please don't. I know the people who care/cared for you will not have wanted that fate for you. Keep strong ok OP :D

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>>673480585
Ever hid drugs in there?

Ur GG M8 just end the ride here. Since you like numbers take 6 bars of Xanax

>>673483444
Did you read this ? Do you know what its like to become self aware of breathing and having to manually swallow every single gulp of spit and breathe every breath of air for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

>You cant eat anywhere except a few places.

>You have to do things until you forget about how many times youve done it. That means you do them until you die or forget your choice.

>>673481916
Smoke a shit ton of weed and then go to a psychiatrist

>>673480585
Obviously it's not bad enough to fix your god damn grammar. Suck it up or An Hero.

>>673483934
still better than not having any control over my body

>>673483473
Some psychiatrist you are you dumbfuck. Id rather go on my terms i dont need a low life neckbeard telling me to kill myself. Enjoy your tendies

>>673484147

>Or, maybe you're just a faggot who would rather bitch all the time than utilize the gift of life - in that case, kill yourself.

nice b8 tho

>>673484137
Yeah cause random twitches are so much worse. I d rather have twitches and live my life. Rather than have no twitches and be consumed within my head.

I used to be normal you fuckers. I used to do whatever the fuck i want. I miss myself. I miss my parents. I miss not giving a fuck and not having a voice inside my fucking head tell me to do things.

>>673480585
Actually psychologist here. You should actually kill yourself is my advice. And stream it.

But I'm a school psychologist so I don't know if this advice is also good towards adults.

>>673483444
nah bruh, depending on the severity of the OCD it cant reach a point where you cant escape youre own thoughts. Not the little abscentminded ones that you forget about shortly after they happen. Its all of them constantly blasting away at you 24/7 at 100% volume. Even stupid shit that you dont care about at all can just force itself on you endlessly.

imagine the shittiest argument you ever had or the most difficult task youve had to deal with happening constantly. Thats an extreme example but its how it works for some cases

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>ITT: Tumblr-tier whiney faggots

>>673484417
>twitches
You say that until you experience the looks that people give you when you have an uncontrollable full body tick in front of them.

>>673484991
Fuck people. I dont give two shits about what people think. Ill take a fucking dump in front of them.

>>673480585
Is your name aaron?

>>673484991
basically this
>>673484769

Imagine you have to turn the knob of a door unlimited times until you forget. Then you close the door and hear the door thud two times. Thats a no no so you fucking slam the door till eternity till you forget how many times it slammed. This is just one thing

Quit your fucking cuntflapping OP you manchild. Grow a set of balls, go to a psychiatrist, ask to get put on the heavy stuff and just be a fucking zombie for the rest of your life since the only two things you're good at are bitching and shitposting.

Clinical Depression here. First time I tried to kill myself I was five, ran out into a busy road and hoped one of them would run me right the fuck down. Mom tackled me about halfway in and dragged me back.

Every day is just a non-stop imagining of ways I could end it, of how I should end it, of how everything everyone ever said about me is true. It's a dead end for me, and I'm on borrowed time and I know it.

My life is pointless, without meaning, and I'm in so much pain both mental and physical I just want it all to end. Oblivion would be preferable, and i've been to the psyche ward at least 8 times.

Only thing that stopped me last time was the look of horror and sadness on my mom's face as I sawed at my neck with a big kitchen knife.

I'm jobless, have limited income, have no skills other than growing weed and a bit of carpentry. Both physical and mental pain have crippled me, yet I can't get any help, while my buddy's brother got disability because; get this, he did shitty in high school. What the fuck.

The only place I have is 4chan, it's the only place to be honest and have honest feedback. I tell my doctors and therapist what's wrong and how much everything hurts, yet all i get are nods, awwws of sympathy.......and then nothing. No real help, nothing but false noises. I'm sick of being alive /b/, and have been since I was a little boy who knew his life was going to be shit from the moment he could form a coherent thought.

>>673486563
Yeah op here. It sucks man. Im assuming your father left or something. I never tell people how fucked i am just because of their fucking sympathy. Their literally as you described it like aww and some are even like you dont have it or man up or some dumb fucking shit like that.

>>673485503
Well OP, Ive never had OCD, but one of my dearest friends has it on and off for years now. For her it started when she was in her late teens and it lasted for a while. For a while nobody thought she was going to make it out alive, but she did. If youre lucky itll go into remission, but thats no promise. It still comes back, sometimes its just background noise, sometimes its a full on episode that lasts for months and ive seen her slam her head into a wall to know herself out just to finally get some rest. Its brutal. The best advice that I can give you is that knowledge is your friend. find some actual forums or support groups, talk to people that have ocd and learn from them, see how they cope and keep it at bay and find a friend thatll be there for you. Having a reminder that this shit is all in your head can go a long way as it is something that can feed itself through anxiety. Maybe try setting some goals for yourself, just little things that you can work towards to keep you on track to show yourself that you still have some control. You gotta take youre life back man. I hope for you that it does fade out in time and you learn to get a handle on it. For my friend, well shes had some day dark times but she managed to get her BSN, is working on her masters, learning to play another instrument and taking a trip through the western US right now. You just have to try and stick with it man. Sometimes just knowing that you CAN kill yourself, that you actually have the power to turn it off forever can be a relief. Its something she uses, she never tries but it is a hopeful thought in its own way. Its the one thing the ocd cant take away. I hope you dont need it. Do youre beat to get some pro help and good luck anon.

same for anyone else that has to deal witj a traitorous brain or body

>>673486563
you may want to start doctor shopping man. Medicine can turn into just a job the same way fast food does. find somebody that gives a shit and isnt just trying to crank out the prescriptions for the month

>>673487004

Worse, he stuck around. He's a child trapped in a man's body, he drank all our money away, has been fired from every job he's ever had(literally, every single one.) We were poor because of him, mom worked two jobs while he sat around drinking and either beating her or me with my pathetic little ass trying to fight a full grown ass 300lb former marine.

Have been chased out of the house with loaded firearms(couple shots fired too.) Beaten at his hands, but that wasn't even the worst part.

I know it's cliche and stupid and i know in my head i should 'get over it' like some(a lot) of folks say, but when you get your shit beat every day at school to the point you don't want to go outside, leave your room, and hurt yourself so you don't have to go to that awful place anymore, you'd think someone would give a shit or notice.

Like you say, it's pointless to tell anyone anything, all you get is 'man up, sack up, just do what i do bro' it falls on empty ears because I've DONE all that and it still failed. When everything you do fails, when everything you do to claw yourself out of the pit fails, it's just...i don't know, fuck it, why bother.

My dad's drinking is catching up with us, soon the house will be foreclosed for back taxes owed, and I will shoot myself and burn it down. The rifle's in dad's room, i've sucked the barrel. The metallic taste is actually pleasant. Gonna give it a good cleaning and get some of the good ammo. Gonna be a fun night when that shit finally goes down.

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OCD is not a real disease, you're a faggot bud

Hey OP, I have severe ocd shit gets stuck in my head all the ducking time. Last year I had the same thing stuck in my head for 3 weeks straight, it was even in my ducking dreams. I tried to drown myself but I just passed out and woke up in a hospital. Even with the medicine they give me I still get shit stuck in my head.
>400mg pills
>take 6 of them each day
It didn't get better for me only worse, I don't know what to do anymore.

>>673480585
PUT IT BACK

>>673488962
See
>>673488979

>>673480585
Not gonna lie, I like to think I'm pretty desensitized but that pic made me cringe.

>>673480585
OCD blows and mental problems are often hereditary

Why wouldn't you kill yourself?

>>673489168
You're a massive queer, try telling someone with a real disease your terrible ocd, they will have a good laugh

>>673480585
Just call 911, fake a heart attack, get treated for whatever & leave before you're discharged.

>>673483934
You get used to it. The main thing is to learn to be comfortable with yourself. I mean, everyone at some level thinks about how to digest each scrap of every bit of food they eat--or else, how would it get digested? It's just, they've become comfortable with that part of their mind (not necessarily located in their brain specifically, but anywhere where there's neurons) that handles it, until this thought process becomes a low, inaudible background noise which becomes the structure for a next layer of consciousness to focus on the thing it finds interesting. Until THAT layer finds a level where it becomes the background and so on.

Stare at Moire patterns, and fractals. See how out of randomness comes order. Come to appreciate all the patterns in life for what they are. Whether they're, clean or dirty patterns, organized or chaotic.

Do this even while you began to open up to the idea that maybe, just maybe there are people out there who find YOUR mind, in all it's incessant pattern finding ability to be a beautiful pattern as well.

Dumping moire patterns and fractals.

>>673488055

>>673488055

I'm wary of doctors and asking for any sort of meds, because around here is a HUGE opiate addiction problem, and the company that monopolized the healthcare system aren't big on handing out drugs. They've literally got 99% of doctors in the entire peninsula(UPfag here) as part of their system. I can't doc shop because they're all the same damn thing following the same damn procedures.

Have been to three. First one shot himself, the second literally did nothing but harp about my diabetes without addressing anything else, and this third is wary of giving me any sort of drugs because of my history and thinks i'm gonna try and kill myself with drugs. Would have done that a long time ago if I was going to, pills are messy and never 100%.

doc shopping is a sure sign, in their eyes, that you're only seeking drugs to get high or sell.

Invisible patterns emerge from moire patterns.

http://youtu.be/QAja2jp1VjE

This cube has infinite surface area, and no volume. Think about that.

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>>673490664

>>673489414
Whatever you say edgelord, be me one day and you will want to leave this universe you fucking tard. You probably just came from highschool and you wanted to shitpost badly so you just start making fun of people with mental illnesses.
>inb4 hurr ocd isn't real the earth is flat there is no god

>>673481755
Haha, here's your $10,000 bill.

>>673481916
You're making up problems in your head m8... jesus

>>673480585
call this number: They will talk you down. 1 (800) 273-8255 (this is legit. I was tempted to post the taco bell customer service line but you seem like you actually need help). Best wishes OP

Get lost in this mandelbrot zoom for awhile.

http://youtu.be/PD2XgQOyCCk

See if that doesn't uncork your brain a little, and get things flowing.

>>673480585
all i can tell you is this:

my best friend killed herself
she never got to see facebook - she would have loved facebook, she never got to see any real social media, real electric cars, whatever else has happened since she died....kill yorself and who knows what kind of cool shit you're going to miss out on (not that i think facebook is cool shit, but ykwim).

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Sometimes it feels like life is just shit stew on a cracker, and if you've been through depression before you know it can turn around. What has helped me recently is just to shut down when I needed it and be honest about it to the people that care about me. Shut off the stress and care about yourself.

Lastly, all these nerd girls' videos are pretty good. They start out cute, but can get pretty damn deep by the end.

http://youtu.be/ahXIMUkSXX0http://youtu.be/ahXIMUkSXX0

>>673480585
Just man up moron. Stop letting your emotional impulses guide you. Side with your rational brain and let it re-establish good sense and good mental perception habits.

>>673491278
oh that was comfy.
thanks, m8

I have OCD as well, it was pretty bad to the point where I couldn't function. Eventually I got through it, but I went to a therapist which I think is not necessary. Try finding the source of the stress that is causing the OCD and remove it. Once you've done this force yourself to do things like not washing your hands for x time or x amounts. Just try stop caring about the feelings, I know it is hard.

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>>673480585
That shit hurts just looking at it, here's mine

>>673492031

If advice seems that obvious, it is usually something that the commenter can't relate to. "Manning up" is a lot of the anxiety that comes with trying to keep getting up in the morning.

>>673490430
didnt mean doctor shopping in that sense, i meany you should try to look for one thats actually going to try. But, based on that description i dont suppose that a viable plan. youre area is garbage if it is what you say and it would be too shocking if that were the reason the first one checked out early. Shit, i knew of a guy In SC that was actually really good at trying to help his patients instead of just dosing then up but i cant think his name. Last i checked he was opening a museum for anthropology or something. Idk how much help that is but you can try and look into it.

>>673490705
correct, because its a 3d rendering