>>673155058
Jeff please appoint an office to HR as I'm still busy dealing with the PR team problem. As in we have none.
From: John, HR

Where the fuck is everyone this place seems dead now!

- Jeff , Pentester

ALRIGHT WHO FUCKING SHAT IN THE PRINTER AGAIN

>>673155266
What room would that be sir?

>>673155058
I want a mac for porn
-Scruffy the Janitor

>>673155337
To increase morale a hidden ice cream social was held for whoever found it. Unfortunately much of the office who attended suffered explosive diarrhea as a result of the content.

>>673155058
room 30A, 30B, 29A and 29B are all reserved for filming jailbait and cheese pizza

>>673155058
Larry the Network Engineer here, can I get this crazy nigger eating my dead jeffs out of the server room? He's going on a rampage and the servers won't hold out long. I'm running out of dead jeffs to throw at him.

>>673155058
Steve, I know you are known as the weird pillow guy but one pillow is enough don't you think?

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

>>673155391
Preferably one with ease of access to the sounds of the nigger holocaust
From: John, HR

>>673155570
I'm on break
-Scruffy the Janitor

>>673155570
YOU wiLL NeVER CATcH MEEE!1!!!!1!!!!

>>673155563
They were reserved for somekind of game place last time bud sorry!

- Jeff , Pentester

>>673155676
As long as its not near room 7 I have no complaints.

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

>>673155838
alright we will take 44-46

>>673155058
Thanks for bringing this up again. I made a new thread too but it got no where lol

Teat
Senior IT Consultant

>>673155838
Clean up your pens, Scruffy don't like extra work.
-Scruffy the Janitor

>>673155737
Scruffy,

I'll send you my loli porn stash if you help me here, I'll also grant you access to my server room permanently!

-Larry Network Engineer

>>673155058
Before this got deleted, I was about to inform you about your promotion. You are doing a good job with this seat map and I would like to announce your promotion to Map Maker. Upon completion of the Seat Map Project, you will be eligible for a new position. Looking forward to your progress!

Randy Bobandy
Regional Manager

>>673155976
No can do. Scruffy is on break
-Scruffy the Janitor

>>673155976
Tell him that there are loose women in office 9.

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

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Here we go!

- Jeff . Compukek

>>673156174
Scruffy don't like consent
-Scruffy the Head Janitor
P.S. Scruffy now has access to the server room so Scruffy gave himself a promotion

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>>673155058
so um everybody, i dealt with that bomb thing. ive referred it to the utility muffin research kitchen.

>>673156307
PSt hey were buds right?

- Jeff , Pen Tester

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>>673155824
alright nigger, i heard there are loose women in room 8 and they are into black dongs so i opened the door for you.
-Larry Network Engineer

>>673156267
ill take room 3
-phantom shitter

>>673156435
IM CUMMING AHAHHahhahaHahahHAHHA

>>673156307
I am sorry for the misunderstanding Scruffy, that was advice for Larry to tell the man eating the all the dead Jeff's. For we all know what happens in rooms 8 through 14.

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

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>>673156447

>>673156390
Scruffy work his way up to the top and now that Scruffy be CEO Scruffy thinks should be Head of Pen Testing
-Scruffy the CEO

>>673155927

To: Teat

You have officially been promoted to V.P. of IT, congratulations!

Ian, C.F.O.

Hey guys i think i might go soon my head is starting to hurt and im pretty tired

- Jeff , Pen Tester

>>673156267
I think you missed the email in the last thread.
We want to setup rooms 29A, 29B, 30A, 30B to the designated gaming rooms during break. Rooms 29A/B will permanently be named Team 29, and respectively the same for Team 30. You can label this quartet of rooms "Vidya Games"

Randy Bobandy
Regional Manager

>>673156729
ill take over your pen tester role
-mike hunt

>>673156729
ok bye Jeff we will miss you
-Larry Network Engineer

>>673156729
It was an honor having you apart of the team Jeff
-Scruffy the CEO

ATTN: All Staff

The board of directors has decided to let you
all know about the strange noises in the
basement.

Pay them no heed.
They are the Filipino Rentboys in charge of various custodial work around the office.
They work better, look better and smell better
than Niggers, Jews and Mexicans so we feel better about hiring them.

Upper Mngmt

>>673156729
It's okay, just tell management you're taking a half day today! Great work as usual Jeff

Teat
Senior IT Consultant

>>673156729
I think you should call it a day jeff 2. Not all jeffs can be like jeff the mapmaker.

>>673156959
yup
-Scruffy the Ceo

>>673156778

To: Regional Manager Randy
Subject: Games Budget

Due to flagging morale in the company, we are tripling your budget for the break room games.

Ian, C.F.O.

>>673156729
We'll have a sandwich ready for you
whenever you feel better.
Stay strong, champ.


Chad Manning
Operations Manager

>>673156706
Thank you for the promotion Ian! I will be sure to make you and the rest of Computek very happy with tech problems. May I ask who is the current President of IT if I am VP?

Teat
(New) VP of IT

>>673157086
We got a real success story here, from janitor to CEO, all hail scruffy.

-Larry Network Engineer

im in room 35. could we soundproof it and put a lock on it? ignore the screams from the room its just music.
-grug

>>673157114
Scruffy want a sandwich
-Scruffy the CEO

>>673156729
Have a fine rest of your day Jeff.

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

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>>673156778
I am now resigning turning over my job to mike hunt good to having worked here!
Thank you guys take care
>>673157028
Wat u just say abut me m80 i swear m80 ill rekt u

- Jeff , Pen tester

what exactly do we do?
-murich

>>673155058
>ITT : We work in topkek
>The other thread got deleted
>I am jeff , penis tester

if you want a room, please tell me
-mike hunt

>>673157314
Ask scruffy, he knows all

-Larry Network Engineer

>>673157145

To: Teat

I'm afraid that information is not available at this time. Many of our servers are on the fourth floor.

Ian

>>673157275
I'll have one of the Rentboys bring you some.
On the other hand, I've been meaning to ask you
about the female intern budget.

We have too many male employees with no female pairings, catch my drift?
By which I mean, Executive Head Givers.


Chad Manning
Operations Manager

>>673157275
what exactly do we do, scruffy. im kind of confused

>>673157108
To: Ian
From: Randy Bobandy
BCC: All employees (apparently)

This is a great update. With the new budget we will be able to bring in 2 new vending machines, one with only Doritos, and the other with only Mountain Dew. Additionally, we may have room in the budget for an in-house gaming referee.

Thanks,
Randy Bobandy

>>673157314
I nominate murich for tribute

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

>>673155058
Hey names Randy and im here for the interview!
It didnt specify the job title though, I'm willing to do any job since im kind of tight on cash haha.

Exited for a chance to be part of the team!
-Randy

>>673157651
tribute for what?
-murich

>>673157526
Scruffy don't pay women. Just put wigs on the Rentboys
>>673157539
idk Scruffy make good money that's all Scruffy knows
-Scruffy the CEO

>>673157713
what room do you want? you are hired by the way

>>673157539
I'm surprised you have not been briefed about
Computek (Now known as Compukek Inc)

We mainly do back office work and support for several other companies, Youjizz, Pornhub, etc.
We also handle the programming of electronic dildos and various sex toys in the market today.

We saw a 100% revenue increase last financial quarter due to the new product made specifically for the "NEET" market. While the marketing dept are still trying to rebrand the product, its basically a loli cock sleeve.

Try visiting the 4th floor that officially does not exist for a briefing.

HR dept

Ok guys i was just walking around the office secretly to see if the headacke would go away and it iddint and now i am reall yl leaving i cant type lol

- jeff ,pe nt tester

>>673158029
>>673158029
what happened?

>>673157921
How about room 34?

-randy

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IMPORTANT NOTICE
Scruffy got the graph thing on his desk and it looks bad here's a picture of it

>>673158114
just looking at this sc reen all this damn day and working away man!

- jeff , pen tester

Ok guys im signing off for bed, I leave the server room in scruffys hands now since he has the only access.
>>673157892

-Larry Network Engineer

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>>673158133
ignore the screams from room 35

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>>673158329
No, wait Scruffy fixed it

I'm Joshua Weinensteinberg, general counsel. Given the skyrocketing number of lawsuits and criminal charges against employees management has seen fit to retain a lawyer on staff. I'll need a fairly large office so I have room to sexually harass my secretary

I would like to operate the office forklift for transporting fat donna and snacks. I can also use it to make new air vents in the walls for brething dicks. Here is my resume https://youtu.be/-oB6DN5dYWo

>>673158467
good job scruffy

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Abdul, Explosives Specialist

I'll be taking office 34. If you don't like it please consult the complaint department.

>>673155058
where's the bathroom? I couldn't find it so I pissed in the corner of the lunch room.

>>673158559
You DON't mess with big Randy!

Have a nice day
-randy

>>673158477
what room would you like?>>673158413

>>673158483
I'd hope for office 3 goven my post ending. Also i cant promise i haven't been drinking. This water bottle is not filled with vodka

>>673158559
Randy already occupied it, Abdul.
Unless of course you kill him, then its yours by right of combat.

Also, this is a safe working environment. You had better shower before work.

Dan Schmidt
HR Associate

>>673158603
As long as the Rentboys can find it Scruffy don't care
-Scruffy the CEO

>>673158769
Whoa. Whoa.
Whoa there Dan.

You can't just say that.
He might blow up the whole office.


Chad Manning
Operations Manager.

>>673158603
Ey, boss.

De Bathrooms were a small sacrifice to make in order to put in the massive vidya game room.

Please to be making the Piss in the potted plants.


Migelito Dimagiba
Senior Executive Filipino Rentboy

>>673158769
I agree with chad, things might get too dangerous for our fellow workmates with abdul.

Hope things get worked out
-randy

TO: all employees
there is a wild pack of niggers that in the office. if you find them please move them to rooms 8-14 for the upcoming nigger holocaust
-mike hunt

>>673159019
Scruffy took a shit in Scruffy's doorway. Scruffy wants it clean
-Scruffy the CEO

>>673158709

I'll take room 49, it has a nice view for seducing interns.

Joshua Weinensteinberg, General Counsel

>>673159277
TO: Mike Hunt
attempting to catch them but they seem to be covered in some natural lubricant
-Lunch room pisser

>>673158769
Allahu Akbar Mr. Schmidt,

So you mean to tell me that some bald-chested infidel is occupying my rightful lands? This calls for a fatwah! I urge you to assist me in removing the infidel threat, lest you and a thousand generations of your descendants feel the divine fire of Allah upon your souls.

la ilaha illa'llah,

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

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>>673159344
checked.
also im on my lunch break and i will be back in 5-10 minutes.
please forward your complaints to scruffy

>>673159537

Abdul,

Although trial by combat is an acceptable internal dispute resolution matter at compukek, I must remind you that all jousting, brawling, impaling or beheading must be done AWAY from clients. We don't want another lawsuit for accidental decapitation, go and duke it out in the IT department or something, no one ever goes there.

Regards,

Joshua Weinensteinberg
General Counsel

>>673159977
>>673159344
>>673158477

Holy shit, checking our new lawyer's dubs

>>673159537
>>673159211

I can't take sides, So I suppose whoever
has the bigger penis wins?

Dan Schmidt
HR Associate.

PS. Abdul, there is some deodorant in the reception area. I suggest you use them lest you incur disciplinary action via a hygiene seminar with one of the Rentboys.

>>673159327
Ye Boss.

Did you make De pupu with door close or open?

We clean.

Migelito Dimagiba
Senior Executive Filipino Rentboy.

>>673159977
Joshua.

I would like to go over and check whether or not we can be held responsible for whatever happens on the 4th floor which does not officially exist.

Chad Manning
Operations Manager.


P.S. How do you feel about lolis?

>>673158483
Actually gonna try for 6. I can store my forklift and taquitos in the spare room.

To:Scruffy the CEO

Hello, we have been having some issues over in the south west wing of the offices, grug odd yells have progressed to what I believe to bescreams of pain. Also abdul has been spending most of his time outside the front door of my office singing his nasheeds and casually attempting to get in.
I have been working very hard and just hope these issues will be addressed really enjoy working here!

-randy

alright im back from my fap-i mean break. if you want a room, please ask.
-mike hunt

>>673159977
>>673160272
Very well, I shall set up an appointment with Randy. In the meantime, please disregard any and all unfamiliar noises, odors and objects in the southwest corner of the building. There is no cause for alarm, I am only conducting a series of tests on the building's explosive payload tolerance.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673160553
Thr name is barry btw. Barry ma dick

>>673160564
no no screams- it just music heh odd music modern heh
-grug

Lunch room pisser-checks company fridge. finds slightly brown banana. decides it's OK for consumption.

uh does anyone know how to fly a plane?

>>673160754
Oh ok, just wanted to make sure things were good! It keeps me awake and on task haha!

Keep up the good work!
-randy

>>673160918
yes colsov know how to fly plane

>>673160918
Well, I took a flying lesson once. Never learned how to land but I think I got the hang of it.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673161007
good man i keep up work heh
-grug

>>673160491

Chad,

What fourth floor? So long as it doesn't exist on our deed we can deny knowledge of the experiments that are most certainly not going on there.

Lolis? Where?

Regards,

Joshua Weinenbergstein
General Counsel

>>673161080
alright, i need you to fly this plane into these co-ordinates:40.7484° N, 73.9857° W

>>673161324
Finally an assignment for abdul, I thoughht he would never leave, hope he has a safe flight!

-randy

>>673161193
wait, we had more than one floor?
-mike hunt

>>673161193
Great, Great.

Because the 4th floor may or may not house the loli cave. It was "funded, built and supplied" just to keep the male employees happy.
But of course, that is all just a myth.

They say CEO Scruffy has the key under his doormat. That may or may not be true.


Chad Manning
Operations Manager

To: Randy

Allahu Akbar Randy,

I visited a fortune teller today and he said that if you do not vacate office 34 by 1:03 pm tomorrow afternoon, you will get a very big surprise. I haven't the slightest idea what he meant by that, but please rest assured that it has nothing to do with me reciting my Wahhabi prayers in front of the door of that office. I hope that we can learn to understand our mutual differences and learn to tolerate each other and value each other's contribution to the workplace.

la ilaha illa'llah,

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673161589
We can neither confirm nor deny that
we occupy more than 1 floor.
We can neither confirm nor deny that this building has a 4th floor either.
We can neither confirm nor deny that there is a meth lab in the basement with the Rentboys.


Dan Schmidt
HR Associate

>>673161324
What's in it for me? I will accept no less than 50 virgins upfront and another 50 upon completion.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673161716
i demand to know
-head pen tester mike hunt

>>673161800
65 virgins after you do the job.

WHERE THE FUCK THE RESTROOMS AT

>>673161943
If I don't see any virgins today, there's no deal.

>>673161986
the lunchroom corner

>>673162019
they are in the layers room. they are interns. but ok don't do it but we need you to blow up the pentagon. you should be able to do that righ?
-mike hunt

>>673161856
Psst.


Best way to know is to steal the key from CEO scruffy's doormat and make your way up to the 4th floor which does not exist and does not house the loli cave.


Dan Schmidt
HR Associate

>>673162250
>>673162250
holy shit thats a lot of loli. thanks scruffy
-mike hunt

>>673161986
The restrooms are on the left and right sides of the elevators.

>>673162019
I believe there are some female virgins in rooms 8-14 although I'm not sure which one.

>>673162248
That I would gladly do free of charge, but I hope you undertand that I have been extremely busy lately. I have no openings in my schedule until 1:04 pm tomorrow. Can it wait until then?

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673162479
Good luck to the both of you.

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

To: Scruffy the CEO, Dan Schmidt

after abduls last message I have moved my desk and work material into to the large closet in my office, I have left all finished work at the front door of my office! If abdul keeps placing explosive packages infront of my office I may have to take drastic measures to ensure my safety.

Have a great day!
-randy

>>673162501
i reckon it can. can you make the explosion blue?
good man abdul
-mike hunt

>>673162681

Take as many measures as you need,
I highly doubt that Abdul would be pulling
any punches.

Bring Deodorant.


Dan Schmidt
HR Associate.

>>673162501
I will be glad to have our meeting at 1:04pm tomorrow, Im well prepared!

Hope your flight went well
-randy

>>673162733
I believe so, but I will require a very large quantity of copper sulfate. I believe about 800 palettes of ballpoint pen ink cores will provide enough. I may need some extra detonation caps as well. Will you allocate those materials to my department?

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673163140
sure, im sending them over now
-mike hunt

>>673163140
hold on why do we have an explosive expert in a computer company?
-the muffin man

>>673162808
To: Scruffy the CEO

Allahu Akbar Scruffy,

I am overjoyed to report that my explosive payload testing has concluded, and that the southwest corner of the building is in no imminent danger from sudden explosions.

On an unrelated note, I have moved my materials to office 34. You may find me there whenever I am not busy henceforth.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

Whoever is putting dead bodies i the communal fridge, could you please refrain from doing so?
-mike hunt

>>673163411
Can you plase turrn down your nasheeds! Im working on a major project!

Have a nice day
-randy

>>673163690
I only found an old banana in there no dead bodies
-Lunch room pisser

>>673163777
very nice trips randy. im giving you 3 virgins for that. do what you like with them
-mike hunt

>>673163404
For the same reason we hired a muffin man
Just cause.


Dan Schmidt
HR Associate.

>>673163777
Of course my friend, anything for my valued colleague.

*click*

...

*tick*

*tick*

>>673163926
fair enough. could we hire a man to just look after 800 chickens. ill be on that

>>673163690
Abdul has been doing his afternoon beheadings in the breakroom, those could be his bodies.

Have an awesome day!
-randy

...
*tick*

*tick*
...

>>673164167
ill do it
-grug

...
*tick*
...

...*tick*...

.
'*tick*.
.

>>673164400
alright. you can have room 39. your job is to look after 800 chickens. give all the eggs to abdul for him to make an egg bomb
-mike hunt

>>673164461
Im not going to leave the office closet abdul, just deal with it. Haha!

أتمنى لك يوماً عظيماً
-randy

To: Scruffy the CEO

Allahu Akbar Scruffy,

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I have been forced to resume my aforementioned tests. Again, there is no cause for alarm, I am only investigating a minor safety breach.

In the meantime, please avoid the closet in my office until further notice. I am storing very sensitive equipment in there that must not be disturbed.

la ilaha illa'llah,

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

*tick*

-*tick*-

[*tick*]

>>673164923
adbul for fuck sake please get rid of that bomb

>>673164706
Please be advised that the wild pack of negros is still in the office somewhere. Please use the utmost caution when transporting your cargo. As for me its time to clock out. Please remember to place all roaming negros in offices 8 through 14.

Regards,
Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

>>673165086
What bomb?

Well, I'm heading home for the day, see you all tomorrow!

*tick*

>>673165113
rooms 8-14 is for the nigger holocaust. i think grug got the niggers back into the holocaust room

>>673165193
ABDUL WHERE IS THAT TICKING NOISE DONT GO

>>673164807
Don't test me abdul, my MIDGET fuck buddy works at the local immigration offices and has noticed some issues with your papers! Might have to send this up to PR.

Hope we can get things resolved
-randy

Hi! Gregorio here broken English of Italy intern man.
I am inform to be writing you that of now moved into the office 36.
-Gregorio, Italy intern man

To: Scruffy the CEO
Due to current events within the legal system of Compukek llc. We are having mandatory health and safety inspections. This is a notice to have everything in order when the health inspector arrives. Have a great day!
- A branch of Compukek llc.

>>673165363
Relax, that's just the neutronian phase-pulse converter. I'd explain what that is but it'd be over your head, you need a degree in Isla- I mean demolition science to understand.

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>>673165412
ciao you have coffee room as office
-mike hunt

>>673155058
Jeff can you give me a little penetration testing after I sniff your mom's packets?

>>673165660
I believe there is an error in the map, as Mr. Randy no longer occupies office 34. I strongly recommend that you fix it at once.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673155058
Dear Compukek llc.
This is an official legal counsel and representative officially giving notice of the Subpoena that has been filed against your company by my representi; MicroKek.

Breach of industrial dealings trust Section 6.6.9: Sub section /b/673/155/058: States that in and under no circumstances shall a company withdraw or secede from a legally binding sharing of copy written and/or legally binding agreements in the process of RnD. Specifically referencing the development of your Project name: Millhouse computational software and firmware. This software contains directly infringed upon material that is intellectual property of MicroKek, specifically the "bait" subsystem.

I'll see you in court, niggers.

-MicroKek
--T.ounge "my" anuys

>>673165875
Still my office, I have locked the door after you left and have unarmed all the armed explosives, I have learned many things!

Drive safe!
-randy senior explosives specialist

>>673165660
No, gregorio need office 36 for special making of pasta class. Office 36 must the place of be work for Gregorio for murder hooker privately.

>>673166007
Please deliver this to office 9 Mr.T.

Jake Hensworth
International Affairs

>>673165875
You know they used to call me big randy back in college.

>>673166007
Dear Mr. Anuys

I write on behalf of Mr. Scruffy, CEO. We are aware of the situation and are taking immediate steps to rectify it. Please express your cooperation by not looking under your car seat tonight or tomorrow morning.

Best Regards,

Mohammed Abdul al-Lahhu Akbaar bin-Shawarma
Chief Executive Explosives Specialist
Compukek, inc.

>>673166233
fuck off you fob you stay in the coffee room
>>673165875
its still his office.

>>673166236
I'll leave that to your Interns. My job is not to be your internal mailboy, I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at harvard, and I’ve been involved in numerous on-going court cases with many companies including Memele, and I have over 300 confirmed Subpoena's. I am trained in White collar warfare and I’m the top golfer the entire US Lawyer golfing circuit. You are nothing to me but just another case. I will sue you the fuck out with documents the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the desk? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my netowrk of starving Interns and underpayed lawyers across the USA and your argument is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can sue you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in pen-to-pen combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of my desk in my office and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the court, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” request was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking broke, kiddo.

>>673166866
man thats a big pasta gregorio will love that

>>673166843
I understand completely. By the way, it has come to my attention that the lobby is in need of testing for explosive payload tolerance. I will begin setting up my equipment tomorrow afternoon by the conference room.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673167140
ok just dont blow shit up please
-mike hunt

>>673166440
Abdul can you please pick up your shwarma wrappers its starting to smell like a swedish cuckshed in here.

Have a great day!
-randy

>>673167114
HAH! Funny jokes Friend
Is funny because Italy is mother place of gregorio hah!
But in serious I am in need of private room for make use of prostitute murdering
-Gregorio intern of Italy

>>673167373
I am a custodian of sorts, but I don't pick up trash. Get one of your own plebs to do it.

>>673167140
Abdul by the way you need to test the explosive resistance in the chicken coop. remember to take the chickens out first
-mike hunt

>>673167442
for disposal of said dead prostitute check the communal fridge-Lunch room pisser

>>673167621
I'll do that when I get done with my more pressing matters. As you know I've been extremely busy lately.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

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>>673167442
ok you can have room 36 and luckily it has a drain in it.

>>673167657
Much of appreciate friend/coworker!

>>673167851
I knew you would see of my way friend!
Now I will not must murder your children and wife!

>>673167657
NO NOT IN THE FRIDGE. feed it to the jeff eater in room 8

Attention Staff
Please stop alerting the building security office about "lunch room theft" as a concern. You are all adults here and can solve this issue on your own. Given the sensitive nature of the information held in this building I would hope you all take security much more seriously!
Sharp Sharpsel,
Head of Security

>>673167851
we need to label the lunch room as bathroom and dead body disposal as well

>>673167969
It's merely for storage purposes until jeff gets hungry

>>673168054
alright we have a separate fridge for the dead bodies now.
-mike hunt

>>673168186
he is always hungry

Hey guys, it's Matt, can I set up a grow op in room 1? I'll keep it to 7 plants tops

>>673168194
Thank you Mr. Mike Hunt it makes me feel like a valuable employee to know that you listen to our issues-Lunch room pisser

Good morning everyone! Sure glad I got here on time, my car wouldn't start and I had to take the subway. How's everyone doing?

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673168321
Only 7?
Don't be small female dog, whiney male
- Gregorio

>>673168381
well I thought I would drive the power costs through the roof, as I use incandescent lamps

>>673168321
uhh thats very close to the conference room and we cant have people high while making important decisions . i will give you room 6 (it has an extra room for your "plants" ;)

Strange, someone unplugged the timer on my neutronic phase-pulse converter. Oh well, that's an easy fix.

*tick*

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>>673168553

>>673168361
this is bob, in reception...abdul you need to call that guy in HR..seems homeland security stopped by earlier while i was in the shitter. that explosives thing was referred to the muffin mans utility muffin research kitchen. so yeah

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

>>673168361
I'm not quite sure if you received my text
but I wanted you to rig my ex-wife's car for..
"drag racing".

She seems to "really" be into it, I thought
I'd help her get an "explosive" advantage.

Chad Manning
Operations Manager

>>673168647
oh btw does anyone need the conference room? it's wide open

Very well.


Mr. John, calling Mr. John...

*tick*

>>673168647
its ok gregorio and i took care of them with the help of abdul

Who the fuck used up all the lube in the storage room?

- Chad Thundercock, Pipefitter & CEO

>>673168633
Shit son with all that extra room I can up it to 8 plants!

>>673168788
Lunch room pisser would like a promotion to Conference room pisser

>>673168633
Im going to move one of my virgins into wogs hooker room.

She is very nice
-randy

>>673168786
I don't think I can get to that until tomorrow at least, but I'll pencil you in next on my priority list.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

*tick*

>>673155058
I'll take 27a. I'm going to make VERY unnormalized tables for the database to help backup data
:-)

>>673155058
hey this is bob again...the pizza place called back to confirm our order. what floor should we tell them to deliver to? i think we need to have some doors installed or use room number one as doors so peeps can come and go then.

>>673169004
sure just remember to tie her up.

>>673169004
She needs to work!

-randy

>>673168966
use the one across from reception, the small one. we dont ever go in there except for

Hi,
It has come to my attention that we need a sniper nest. I would like to take roomss 34 and 36 for my team and I. Just in case of Isis.

Thanks,
John scuzenberg

>>673169101
the non existent 4th floor

>>673169199
except for....

>>673169199
Yes! thank you you won't regret this decision.
- Small Conference room pisser

>>673169237
Just to let you know don't shoot abdul, he has ties to isis but he is still a nice guy and is a very dedicated worker.

Welcome to our team!
-randy

Alright, the lobby equipment is all set up. Now if you'll all excuse me, I have to catch the next train to Virginia. For some reason I'm supposed to deliver this huge shipment of ballpoint pens to the Arlington branch. Can't imagine why they need an explosives specialist to do it, but I don't get paid to ask questions.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673169359
(secret office sex)

*tick*

>>673169030

Good, Good.
Can you rig it to be especially
"explosive"? I want her to reach the finish
line "on fire" if you catch my drift.

Chad Manning
Operations Manager

>>673169704
(have you heard the rumors?)

>>673169572
Awesome, I'll start filling some sandbags, you will not regret this!

>>673169866
i hear everything. im in reception.
abdul is a cross dresser

>>673169237
You might need to look for other rooms though

Hope things are worked out
-randy

>>673169989
i have proof incoming as we speak.... check your email in a little bit

>>673169738
I could pull some strings, but it'll cost extra. I can add material P4, C10H8 and/or NH4NO3, at the cost of one daughter apiece.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

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ATTENTION, COMPUKEK:

SHEKELSOFT HAS COME TO SEIZE YOUR BUILDING LEASE.

THIS CAN GO QUIETLY THROUGH M&A, PENDING APPROVAL OF SHAREHOLDERS, OR THIS CAN GO VIOLENTLY, WITH YOUR SKULLS ADORNING OUR CONFERENCE ROOM CHAIRS!

RESPOND BY C.O.B, OR WE WILL FORCE OUR WAY IN.

Regards,
Walter Shek
C.E.O, ShekelSoft

>>673155058

this is bob again.. the ups chick is here. come get your pens.

>>673170127
You don't want to mess with compukek and big randy!

Hope you find another office
-randy

>>673170092
I have 3 Virgin Russian Brides stocked in the non existent 4th floor. Will that suffice?
Chad Manning
Operations Manager

Don't worry everyone, I am here.

-Thomas, COO.

Hi i'm frank, the new lawyer, where is my office?

>>673170463
I just got a promotion! Save us!

>>673170127
Sure, as long as they don't have pubic hair.

>>673170545
Dammit, meant for
>>673170411

>>673170511
room 15 is for the lawyer

>>673170541


What seems to be the problem?

Thomas

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>>673170288

>>673170657
ShekelSoft>>673170127

>>673170545
>>673170575

I can assure you they are can't grow them yet.
Chad Manning
Operations Manager.
PS. Can you make the flames blue?

PPS. By the way, about those pens. The ones in my office can only write and draw penises. What do you think could be causing this? Should I get that UPS chick to deliver another set or what?

>>673170730
I told Chad to deal with them. He's a great guy, you should listen to his plan.

-Thomas, COO

To: Mike Hunt

Mission accomplished! You will find attached a live feed of the Arlington branch HQ. I will send you a detailed AAR in a moment, please wait patiently in your office until then.

Abdul
Explosives Specialist

>>673170623
thank you, also, it is normal this 9 feet pile of pending denounce for sexsual harrassment?

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>>673170870

>>673170762

To: Chad

Can you please deal with the ShekelSoft invasion. Thanks.

Thomas, COO

>>673170841
would love to hear about this. What floor does Chad work on?

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>Meanwhile, seen from south of the office...

>>673171030

Office two.

Thomas

>>673170762
I'll need more materials. Ask Mike. He'll know what to do, both about that and the pens.