>>673080674
your life?

>>673080769
your mothers life?

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What's the hardest part about being a paedophile
Fitting in

>>673080674
OP is retarded and a faggot

I shoot a moose once

Then I went home and raped my 7 ear old daughter to death

a black guy walked into a bar and they shot him

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>>673081189
why i laughed so hard i have no idea

I fucked a 2 year old and got her pregnant.

She said she was keeping it.

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue toast to the ceiling

I went home one day and found my wife in bed with a nigger

I screamed that I wouldn't pay for arriving early

>>673081026
What's the hardest part about being a paedophile

Getting the blood stains out of the clown suit.

How do you know if your best friend is queer?

His dick tastes like shit.

what's the difference between a boy scout and a jew?


Boy scouts come home from camp

How do you get a faggot to fuck a woman? You fill her cunt up with shit

pasa el cp

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.

this thread will need MODS soon

Why don't niggers go on cruises?
They already fell for that trick once.

>>673081910

fucking cucks.

What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?

"I feel like a kid again."

>>673080674

Why are medicines white?

Blacks don't work

>>673080674
Why are yes because Jews?

Niggers don't nigger

You know, I heard that Fallout 4 came out early in Japan.

>>673083603
butchered

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>>673080674

So, I was fucking my daughter last night and my wife walked in. She was in shock. I don't know what she was more surprised by - the fact that I was fucking my daughter, or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep it.

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>>673083879
ps

>>673080674
What's the best thing about twenty three year olds?

There's 20 of them.

How do you make a little girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

What kind of key opens a banana?
[spoiler]A monkey XD[/spoiler]

What's grey and looks good on cops and firemen?

The World Trade Center.

Whats the difference between a dead baby, and a tuna sandwich?

You don't fuck the sandwich before you eat it.

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How do you make a nigger loose all its teeths?

you paint a chickendrumstick on a rock.

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>>673083979

>>673083690
Topkek

2 niggers cruising down the highway, who's driving?


The cops.

>>673080674
Whats the difference between a penis and a knife? If the size of one is too small the other is going in your guts.

how many jew die in holocaust


clearly not many enough

What's the hardest part about getting a parent to I.D. their dead infant?

My Dick.

What's the difference between jews and an apple pie?

Apple pies don't scream when they're put in an oven

>>673084334
Thats pretty autistic

Q: What do you get if you put 30 Arab women in a bomb shelter?
A: A full set of teeth!

What do you do if your daughter claims she was raped by batman?

Move onto the spiderman costume

>>673081026
What's the benifit of fucking babies. You get oral and anal at the same time.

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What do you call a couple black people in a barn?


Antique farming equipment

>>673084862
How do you fit 100 Jews in a mini?

3 in the back, 2 in the front, and the rest in the ash tray.

what does the kkk and kfc have in common
They both make a Nigga run

>>673082651
Holy kek

Q: How can you tell if an Arab just had sex?
A: His eyes are all red from the mace.

What do you call a jew that can fly?

Smoke

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>>673083858
My sides are gone anon

How do you get a dead baby out of a blender?

A tortilla chip

>>673081423
Obviously because it was a hilarious quip

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

- a cripple after a house fire.

Where do babies come from?

- technically they can't.

Why do niggers wear baseball caps?

- to keep their lips dry in the rain.

>>673080674
One day a man walks in the front door of his house after work.
"Honey I'm home" he shouts to his girlfriend but gets no reply.
He walks down the hall to his bedroom and sees her packing her things into a suitcase and asks "what are you doing?"
I'm leaving you" she says.
"Why what did I do?" he asked her.
"Well today I found out you're a pedophile." she says with a disgusted look on her face.
He replies "Pedophile? Where did an 8 year old learn such a big word like that?"

>>673083858
took me a second. 5/7, friend. sides: gone.

A father walks into a pharmacy, goes to the counter and asks the pharmacist about getting birth control for his 11 year old daughter.
"My god, your 11 year old is sexually active!" the pharmacist exclaims.
The dad replies "not really, mostly she just lies there and cries."

Whats the difference between a small penis and a knife? The penis isn't going to poke your stomach if you say no to sex.

I'm a heroin addict and I cut myself daily

Q: Why is there so much food at a Muslim wedding?

A: To keep the flies off the bride

How do you get a jewish girls number?

Look at her arm.

>>673085831
just say 'my life' next time

>>673083858
Damn, that was clever. Took me a while to get it.

How do you pick up a jewish girl?

Dust pan and brush.

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What's the difference between a whore and an onion?

No one cries when they cut up a whore.

What separates humans from animals?

The Mediterranean.

>>673080674
what time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

>>673080674
Whats black, blue and hates having sex?
the 8 year old in the trunk of my car

Why did the girl fall off the swing set?
she didnt have any arms.

Whats the difference between a black man and snow tires?
snot tires dont sing when you put them in chains.

i have a lot more if you want them.
some one else post some too though i want to add some to my memory bank

>>673085642
kek, good one

>>673080674
How do you make a little boy cry twice?

Wipe your bloody cock off on his teddy bear

>>673082774
that was an Ethiopian joke until the PC faggots changed it.

>>673081013
/thread

>>673085873
Ha! Oh god. I remember those days. Little Yuden mit die silly arm tattoo, ya!

>>673086282
time to buy a new fence!! XDXDXdXDxD

>>673084082
>best thing about
fucking
>twenty three year olds

tell it right faggot

What did they tell the black jews at treblinka?

GET TO THE BACK OF THE OVEN!

They children of sandyhooke elementary asked for books for Christmas. They were disappointed when they got magazines instead.

>>673080674
4chan

>>673086284
Hi friend!

Jew

Whats the difference between my mother and a newborn baby? My mother understood why I needed to cut up her face.

>>673086188
thought you were going to say the atlantic.

murican mustard race

What´s black on top and white in the bottom?

Rape

>>673081026
What's the hardest part about cutting a baby in half with a chainsaw? My dick.

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>>673086973
wut

>>673086847
Whaiyiooooo!

thread unofficially renamed to: Awful Jokes Thread

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>>673083979

a rapist, pedo and a priest went in to a bar.
he orderd a beer.

Ever had Ethiopian food?

Neither have they.

>>673087114
i like the Morgan Murphy one
"Abortion isn't for everyone, its a lot like having kids in that way "

>>673085093
i dont get it

>>673083858
Yes. Yes that is a good one. Now watch "grave of the fireflies" and feel ashamed of yourself for laughing.

In a true democracy gang rape should be legal, since 9 out of 10 participants approve of it.

>>673087377
What do you call an Ethiopian on a hunger strike?
His name

How do you start a parade in Ethiopia?
Roll a doughnut down a hill

what do you call sandpaper in afghanistahn?
a map

why is it so easy to train the afghan airforce?"
you only gotta teach em to take off.

A redneck girl wants to borrow her dad's truck to go out in a nearby town. She asks her father, who then takes out his dick and replies "You know what to do." The girl starts sucking, but coughs and yells out "Dad! your dick done taste like shit!" To which the dad says: "Oh right, your brother has the truck."

>>673087730
How do Ethiopians celebrate their son's first birthday?

Putting flowers on his grave.

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>>673087558
Let Midna explain you.

>>673080674
>How many Jews does it take to make me laugh?
6 million

>How many sexually abused children does it take to change a light bulb?
At least six because my basement is still dark.

Why do Japanese blur out their penis in porn?
America required this after world war 2 since the shame of the Japanese is such a bummer.

This guy goes into a whore house
>give me the girl with the biggest pussy he says
"fine, shes in room 11" says the maddam

>goes in the room, huge fat girl
>boner.gif
>bitch opens her legs up.
>EVERYTHING GOES BLACK
>SUCKED INSIDE OHGODOHGOD.JPG

>Days have passed, i hear something.
>i see a candle and a man holding it

>HEY YOU!
>can you help me get out?

>I think so dude! If you help me find my keys we can drive out!

>>673087558
Dick goes all the way through

>>673084066
>filename

Kek

Imma try for quints just bc

>>673088320
Eh. Could be better

>>673088537
The goal is to not be 300 off.

>>673088686
Yup.

>>673088388
Ohh

Quints gods! bless me!

>>673088537
Dick

fuck

>>673088888

>>673088883
Rest in salamis frend

>>673087710
that's not how it works you god damn faggot, the sample size is far too small

>>673086973
Its like you have identified a joke formula and implemented it, without actually having a clue what funny is

>>673085169
Holokek*

673088888

>>673088528
That file name is gay. I prefer "BOTDF Concert.jpg"

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>>673087956

>>673088971
Sooo.... What? We need more guys on that rape train or something?

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>>673088339

>>673080674
What happens to a baby when you put it in the microwave? I mean it. I really don't know. I always masturbate with my eyes closed.

>>673081189
cant believe your daughter has 7 ears

What's the best thing about fucking twenty four year olds?
There's twenty of them!

What's brown and sticky?
A stick

How do you give a redneck a circumcision?
Kick his sister in the chin.

>>673089666
Satan amiright

mother and young daughter walking through park after school
they see a couple having sex and the daughter says mummy mummy what are those 2 people doing
the mom thinks fast and says they're making a cake sweetheart the daughter says nothing more so the mother changes the subject
later that night the mother is telling her husband about the couple having sex and they get horny and start having sex on the sofa
next morning the mothers walking down the stairs when she notices the little girl at the bottom of the steps
mommy mommy was you and daddy making a cake last night
the mother panics and says yes darling did you see us
no the girl replies i just licked the icing off the sofa

>>673089830
You sick fuck.

What do apples and niggers have in common?
They both look good hanging from trees

whats the best thing about fucking 27 year olds
theres 20 of them

How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her like an altar boy.

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne?
Acne only erupts on a kid's face AFTER puberty.

>>673090409
wtf? i dont get it

>>673089906
That's so fucking stupid. What kind of retarded child would ... you know, never mind... but two naked people rubbing against each other, MAKING A CAKE?!?! Something that even a 2 year old knows it's made in a KITCHEN, and requires an OVEN, and LOTS, FUCKING LOTS OF INGREDIENTS, AND BOWLS AND SHIT!??!

For a joke to be... a joke, it still has to make some bit of sense, reality-wise.

>>673090668
the answer is one so far

>>673081013

#rekt

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>>673087114
Abortions are fun! They really bring out the kid in you!

>>673081026
What's the hardest part of a funeral? My dick.

>>673090829
>How do you get a nun pregnant?
>Dress her like an altar boy.
>What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne?
>Acne only erupts on a kid's face AFTER puberty.
And also, how the fuck did the kid see the money shot at the park? The mom supposedly shuttered away from it with the girl. What are the fucking odds they just stumbled onto the money shot, she caught it all in a split instant, and yeah then it's two naked people making a cake by blasting icing on a naked womans stomach?

Really?

>>673090409
>10
thirty cows in the field, twenty ate chickens, how many didn't?

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>>673080674
"I can't wait that long!"

>>673091300
Yes, we know. That joke was so bad he ought to have to sit in the corner for posting it.

>>673090829
You must be tons of fun at parties want to be friends?

>>673084334
whoa anon, calm down, thats a little too fucked up

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>>673090829
Holy Autism, Batman

>>673081423
maybe you're just autistic

>>673081486
If you're talking about a nigger,
I believe it.

>>673091519
Why don't catholics play chess?

Because you can't tell the bishop from the queen.

>>673084066
Hotline miami 3 concept art.

>>673091707
Your*

>>673081486
>said

>>673091932
Wut...

>>673090829
you point out cake
mary berry much
autismo

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>>673089592
6/10

>>673091932
No, what?

>>673086413
You think PC people change it from a racist joke, to one that makes fun of something they consider a mental disorder?

You're pretty fucking stupid. Joke can have different versions.

a child killer is walking a victim though the woods and the kid says "I don't like it here, it's dark and scary."

the guy replies "how do you think I feel? i have to walk back alone."

>>673087361
>>673087361
>>673087361

Only funny joke in the whole damn thread of neckbeard standup.

>>673086413
>PC faggots changed it
>to be a joke about people with anorexia disorder

Wot

what do you call a blacks only abortion clinic
crimestoppers

what's the difference between a nigger and a pizza?

a pizza can feed a family of 4.

what's the difference between a nigger and a set of tires?

tires don't sing when you put chains on them.

>>673091300
I think you crossed some wires there bro. >>673090829 didn't tell >>673090647
those jokes.

What do you call a negress prostitute
with braces that specializes in oral sex?

A: A Black&Decker Pecker Wrecker

>>673092300
when do you put chains on tires though?

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>>673087309

>>673080674
Did you know that black people are living proof that Indians use to fuck buffalo.

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.

>>673090829
I love you

>>673092491
never had ice on your roads, eh?

>>673089592
jesus how is this so underrated

>>673081876
Underrated post.

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>>673092470

>>673092633
>eh?
You're a living stereotype.

>>673092633
i still dont see the connection. During the snow when theres ice they put salt on the roads. thats about it

>>673090668
28 CHICKEN

TWENTY ATE CHICKEN

20 COW ATE CHICKEN

2 COW NO CHIOCKEN
ANSWER IS TOO COW RETARTED

an old woman had been sick for a while and finally her husband took her to the doctor to see what was wrong.

the doctor runs some tests and says he had it narrowed down to 2 possibilities: aids or alzheimer's.

the old man says "jesus, doc, can't you do any better than that?"

the doctor says "I have a plan, drive your wife out to the woods and leave her there. if she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

>>673092878
Fuck me, are the tards on holiday release today?

>>673092759
its old. It obviously got replies when it was posted...3 years ago

Your 1rm

>>673092747
No, thank you, no cp for me.

What are 3 things you can't give a nigger?
A black eye, a fat lip, and a job.

How do you starve a nigger?
Put his food stamp card under his work boots.

What do you tell a woman with one black eye?
"Don't MAKE me tell you again!"

What do you CALL a woman with only one black eye?
A quick learner.

What does a woman do when she gets back from the domestic violence shelter?
The fucking dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why do you never have to buy your wife a watch?
There's a clock on the stove

>>673092971
30-20=2

This is a special kind of special.

>>673086284
Why did the girl fall off the swing set again?
She had no legs.

What's black and white, has 8 legs and screams?

>gang rape

>>673093020
because we don't put chains on our tires? where the shit are you from, faggot?

>>673092878
>salt

midwesterner detected

bet you think cancerous rust is "normal" too

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>>673092994
I see what you did there

>>673092491
When it snows

A gook, a spic, and a nigger walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE"

>>673093213
Guessing you're from the US?

No wonder we see those highway pile ups on an icy day.

You're just as retarded as the rest.

>>673093254
North Carolina, but nice try

>>673080674

WHat do you get when you cross a 14 year old kid with the sense of humor of a woman?

I don't know either, but that fucker started an offensive joke thread.

>>673093213
yet you're aware that in other less flat parts of the world we do put chains on our tires?

>>673080674
your life.

So this is just "70's jokebooks, the thread"? Actual funny people shouldn't post here?

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>>673083858
holy kek

>>673083050
kekd

>>673093172
What's small, grey and makes women scream?

>cot death

>>673093421
Well that at least explains the stupidity.

>>673093447
follow the conversation you fucking autist. I want to know why people chain their tires. Aparently nobody really knows because they can't answer a fucking question without being autistc

What's the worst part about posting in offensive joke threads?

Having to go back in from recess.

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in

>>673093673
What's cold and fuck grannies?

>hypothermia

>>673093693
They give you better grip on super shitty roads. It was more of a common practice before snow tires. Mostly semi trucks in the winter will do it now.

>>673093806
What's got 99 balls and fucks grannies?

>bingo

>>673093693
It's to make noise so the other cars hear you and get out of your way, you idiot.

Just think for a minute.

>>673093693
To stop the car slipping off the road you autistic fucking cock monkey!

>>673083858
someone pls esplain

Why can't women pee the morning after a good fuck?

You ever try and peel a grilled cheese sandwich apart?

Whats the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old

>>673085129
It's nigger

Well, I'd tell one about Jonestown, but the punchline is too short.

>>673094047
Nukes and shit

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>>673094112
oh damn

>>673094112

shitty puns where the punchline makes you go "i understand that reference" is for Big Bang Theory.

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>>673093325

>>673093693
You put chains around your tires in order to get more grip on ice as hard metal chains dig into the ice unlike a tire, therefore giving alot more breaking power, reducing the risk of a accident.

What's something shocking to make a joke about?
>Paedophilia

What's the worst part about doing a paedophilia?
>Having to stop doing the paedophilia

What's the best thing about doing a paedophilia?
>something sexual

What's worse than a thing?
>someone who is black

When's the best time to?
>right after you've done a paedophilia.

Literally 90% of every joke ITT.

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>>673093693
>doesn't know what chains on tires are for
>calls other people autists

You are a complete fucking retard. Google it for fuck's sake.

Look at the image results. See a common theme, you fucking idiot?

>>673093964
I guess where I live, tires have something called tread, and that doesn't happen. Sorry I don't live in a poverty stricken country, where we have to chain our tires, you little poorfag cunt

>>673089906
Made me laugh cause u got called autismo by other autistic alphas

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>>673080674
How do you get deep throat from a baby/little kid?
dislocate their jaw

Who are the worlds fastest readers?

People in the twin towers, 100 stories in 30 seconds

>>673094049
Hello captain virglord. Will you be needing help demonstrating your total lack of experience with female genitalia this morning?
>Thanks, I got this one.

>>673093693
for better grip

>>673094580
>doing a paedophilia

>>673094580
lost my fucking shit. This is the best joke in the entire thread

>>673094770
That's an old dirty joke you retard.

>>673094696
All tires have treads. Tire chains are super expensive.

How do you stop a black person from drowning?

>Take your foot off his head

>>673080674
My girlfriend called me a paedophile, big words considering she's only 6

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape your mother.

>>673080674
What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?
>Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window.

>>673081189

>7 ear

>>673094696
Didn't you say you were from North Carolina? That's a pretty poor state, man.

>>673094721

9/11 jokes stopped being offensive when they started doing them on prime time tv.

>>673094696
This tard has obviously never seen, or driven in snowy/icy conditions. Nice and cosy in that basement?

Why do niggers stink?
>So blind people can hate them to.

>>673095003
what the fuck

I'll get super edgy.
what do you do when a polack throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.

Whats the difference between a nigger and a pizza?
niggers are human.

>>673094770
Wow... Taking a bad joke that seriously... How's mom's basement treating you tonight?

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>>673095003
Dafaq happened to that guy? Nerve gas?

>>673094770

This is why autistic people shouldn't be in joke threads, even if offensive joke threads are for kids.

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>>673095003
wut is dis?

>>673095003
what the holy fuck is this???

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>>673095003

>>673095250
hahahahah so true I am blind and I hate nigger smell it is very unique it smells like malt liquor and poverty