>>672128302
I would post my shit prom story but it's long.

>>672129900
Dubs post story.

>>672130144
winrar

>be me
>17
>senior year
>glad to get out of this shithole
>ask qt3.14 out day before last day of school
>she actually said yes
>meet up that night at a local steakhouse
>buy her food
>things are going great
>she farts
>wut.png
>she farts again
>shes laughing
>im trying to keep my composure
>srsly this solid 8/10 chick is farting at my table
>shes getting loud with her laughing and farting
>odd looks from everyone else in the table
>we leave
>walk through the park downtown
>talking about what we're gonna do with our lives and shit
>tells me she always liked me as a friend
>friendzoned.webm
>couple of hours pass since our meal
>8pm
>we're smoking weed in the park
>tell her i always wanted to fuck her
>she has a blank look
>describe the ways i would fuck her
>shes like "oh really? thats hot"
>start kissing
>SHE FUCKING FARTS
>boner is gone
>shes laughing
>fuck this im out
>go home, smoke more weed, go to sleep
>next day, last day of high school
>in the halls saying goodbye to each other blahblah
>she comes up
>says she had a nice time and hopes we can do it again sometime
>lelok.gif
>asks if im free saturday after graduation ceremony
>sure
>never showed up to her house saturday
>been 6 years now, havent seen or spoke to her
>checked her facebook
>shes married, has 3 kids
>im not married, no kids
>sad

>>672130719
>farting
kek

BURN BITCH BURN BITCH BURN BITCH BURN BITCH BURN BITCH BURN BITCH BURN BITCH BURN BITCH BURN BITCH *LIGHTS UP MATCHES* *BURNS OP* *PULLS GUN* *SHOOTS OP* WASS BITCH BURN TO THA IBB!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU ABC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#FUCKYOULAWRENCE #FUCKYOUDAVID #FUCKYOUSPENCER #FUCKYOULILA #FUCKYOUCHANTAL #FUCKYOUPATCH #FUCKYOUMIKAELA #FUCKYOUJACOB

7 http://share.pho.to/9pz0f #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES
5 http://share.pho.to/9gkN3 #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES
3 http://share.pho.to/9gkSN #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES
3 http://share.pho.to/9hWtH #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES

-----

FUCK YOU AILEEN!!! FUCK YOU AUDREYLIE VILLEGAS!!!!!

I WANT TO SLEEP AND PLAY DEAD IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO MISBEHAVE AND YELL IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO HURT STUDENTS AND SEE YOUNG CHILDREN WEARING THEIR UNDERWEAR IN SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WANT TO KICK YOU BOTH IN THE MOTHERFUCKING ASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#FUCKYOULAWRENCE #FUCKYOUDAVID #FUCKYOUSPENCER #FUCKYOULILA #FUCKYOUCHANTAL #FUCKYOUPATCH #FUCKYOUMIKAELA #FUCKYOUJACOB

7 http://share.pho.to/9pz0f #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES
5 http://share.pho.to/9gkN3 #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES
3 http://share.pho.to/9gkSN #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES
3 http://share.pho.to/9hWtH #KILLALLTHEFUCKINGMONARCHIES

>>672130719
ur a fuckin moron she prob woulda let you do soe weird stuff with that ass

>>672131061
probably, but that last fart when we were making out sounded wet as fuck. Pass

>>672131061
this

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>>672130936

no green texting this shit im on phone
ask girl i work with to go the concert with me warped tour
tells me she can only go if her BFFGF comes with
agreed
her BFFGF cant afford ticket so i buy her one as well
pick them up and they talk the whole way there ignoring me
roll a few joints in parking lot
they want one each
they ignore me the whole time in line
get in and they tell me there freinds are wanting to meet up
dont see them the rest of the day
get text that they are getting a ride home with friend...
the end

>>672128302
Pretty damn sad. As soon as a bunch of kids showed up you should've left. Also you should quit smoking faggot

>>672128302
Why didn't you tell those fags to take a hike?

>>672130719
Dodged a bullet dude. Someone who purposely farts for fun on the first date is pretty low on the ladder.

>>672131851
newwwwwwfag

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>>672131851
> phone doesn't have >

>>672130144
My bad, left the thread for a bit, but I got this shit pretyped. Will post momentarily.

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>>672131851
Man you got fucking cucked dude.

>Be me be 18
>First year of college ask out drama girl with a fat ass.
>go out to dinner, she boring as fuck but that ass is amazing
>Go back to her place, her roommate is there so can't do much
>roommate gets period halfway through our time there
>blood everywhere girls forgot to stock up on pads and shit.
>don't know what to do, claim I'm in sensitive cause I'm giggling
>finally roommate just tapes some toilet paper to her cunt and walks to store
>I try to get at that ass, she lets me pull her pants down
>I actually end up with that ass in my face, eating her out
>then I realize that she has only been letting me eat her out for 2 hours.
>where the fuck is her roommate?
>I wanna cum too, made her cum like 7 times
>she sucks me off with like this look of hate that actually really turned me on.
>she can tell stops after sucking my balls.
>she just lays there not saying a word as I am confused
> finish myself off cumming a huge load on her bed spread and her torso.
>put on my spidey hoodie and head out.
>never called her back

I saw her a few months ago around campus, I run a research lab and she was in one of our experiments and was really passive aggressive. But that ass was even finer than before

>>672132426
>mine dose but didn't wanna keep pulling it up
>im lazy neeeeeeewfag

>>672132447
It all began the winter of my senior year. Football season was over, recruiting was taking shape, and I was relaxing during the winter break. During one of the off days, I was with my brother at one of his friends house, playing FIFA 15. After serving some fútbol justice with Bayern Leverkusen, I decided to message some of my friends I haven't talked to in a while or completely new ones. One responds, Lexi, a girl I recently stated to talk to my senior year. We had a lot in common, such as taste of music, lovers of NFC North football, abit her being a Bears fan, and our love for Star Wars. A mutual interest was established and we kept talking. This kept on for the rest of the winter, with our encounters becoming more and more bright. Spring fast approached, with the smell of flowers and the buzz of prom in the air. Me, I never cared much for it. I skipped it my junior year to hang out with my bros, well worth it. This year however, I wanted to at least experience it. I was confident the event would transpire in my favor. I will be honest however. I really never concentrated on romantic relationships throughout my High School career. Sure, I developed petty crushes on pretty girls but those faded quickly. Football, friends, and grades were my priority.

>>672132134
this

Dont be sad about it m8.

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>>672132841
As the thought and idea of prom circled my mind like a vulture, I decided to act. I had plenty of choices in terms of dates but 3 were established as my top choices. My (arguably) closest friend out of that bunch, Grace, who was a junior, a girl that I've known since middle school and a good friend in Amanda, and the "prospect" Lexi. My main bros were pushing and pulling me to ask Grace, and so I decided so. With research in hand as well as a main idea in terms in of a "Promposal" (I know it sounds stupid), I waited for a good day to get everything ready. However, there was a road bump when one of her fellow dancers told me that a junior that was a teammate of mine had been talking to Grace for weeks concerning prom. He sadly had a reputation for jumping from girl to girl yet he was a "popular guy." Accepting my fate in my usually peaceful manner much to my bros' protests, I decide to go for the backups. Amanda's group apparently was going to have drugs so I immediate crossed her off the list. Lexi was in my sights. I text her one day asking what her plans were for prom. She says that she's planning to "be a loner but will still party it out." I smile. Bingo. I tell her that I plan on asking someone very soon, and she gets all excited, telling me she's wants pictures of me and the fateful date. She will get those pictures. About a week passes and after 1 failed attempt due to theatre problems on her part (it gets stressful, it's something I learned), I prepare my main attempt with a cookie cake and fresh tulips in hand. My bros escort me to my truck to get the supplies, and I handle it from there. I run into her in the theatre building, and she immediately noticed the items. A smile ran across her face. She said yes and got the picture she wanted. I felt like the king of the world that day, nothing could topple me. Praises were to be had. Days and weeks pass by, and the interest continues to intensify.

>>672132134
this.

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>>672133047
I even visit her during theatre rehearsals, with many of the guys in there being supportive of me. However, spring break approaches, and I could feel a change in the air, something just felt...off. I try to hang out with her but she declines it due to her parents not being home yet one of her theatre (guy) friends shows up. I would have been worried but he was a little scrawny compared to me. She piles on excuses on excuses yet tells me she would have loved to. I push it aside as nothing but a few days later, I start solidifying plans. One being the ride situation. In traditional style, the guy shows up at the gals house, greets the parents politely, comments how gorgeous the date looks, awkwardly pin corsages on each other, and take off together to dinner/prom. At least, that's how my mind imagined the situation. In her mind though, I can't quite grasp the reasoning behind her response. She tells me she is going to ride with her friends, the same ones she spends practically everyday with, leaving me in the dust. I tell her that I would love to meet her parents, but she shrugs it off. Oddly determined, she tells me it's final and remarks behind my back on Twitter out of spite. My mom, quite dumbfounded by her decision, tells me it's best just to roll with it. So I do. I keep the faith that everything will go great. With the fateful day fast approaching, I decide to go outside the box with a blast from the past deed. I create a mixtape, capturing our respective tastes in music. The Stone Temple Pilots, Rolling Stones, and Black Keys collided with Frank Sinatra, The Beatles, and Twenty One Pilots, whom she introduced me to. My hopelessly romantic self thought she would adore this act, and more or less me. Before I knew, the day arrived. My tux was ready, and so was my body. My parents bid me farewell and to enjoy the night. With the mix tape tucked away in the safety of my truck's glove compartment, I make my voyage to the Grand Marriot.

>>672132129
That doesn't matter, he was already SO many red flags deep by that point. OP did the right thing in bailing, but he probably should've much sooner.

>>672132587
i'll take shit that never happened for 200 Alex

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>>672133380
I pay and tip
the valet guy, awaiting the arrival of my date. The minutes dragged on and on, and before I knew it, mostly everyone was here. Except my date and her girlfriends. I even ran into her mom, who seemed largely impressed by my manners. She explained that Lexi was running very late. Even she agreed that I should have picked her up. Thankfully, she arrived the moment everyone started to lose patience. I felt paralyzed by her stunning beauty. We took some pictures, and headed off to dinner. I thought during this time we would be able to converse with each other and talk about how excited we were but sadly she didn't have much to say. I would talk to my newfound theatre bros and try to incorporate her but nothing worked. I shrugged it off and wolfed down my pasta. One extra tidbit, I never had to pay for the $25 dinner. Rad. We finish up and she finally allows me to drive her to Sunset Station, the site of the prom. I let her "dj" using my vast amounts of songs but she just sticks to Twenty One Pilots. Of course... We arrive and she seems more upbeat around me, a good sign. When we turn our tickets in, she exclaimed that she wanted to keep hers, which had her name written in neat cursive. I agree and neatly put it into my tux pocket. She says we should separate momentarily to look for friends, to which I agreed and set off to find my main bros. After minor conversation with them, I set off to find Lexi but she ended up sending me on a giant 10 minute goose chase. Me and her group make our way to the dance floor for the first time, and I start getting nervous. I learned some dance moves like the Peter Crouch robot and the Carlton although I found these difficult to pull off due to limiting space. It was a moshpit of sweat, eager testosterone, and awkward dancing. Lexi was having a blast with her friends but I just kinda drifted off, just waiting for an opportunity to dance with her, not her friends. Before I knew it, the chance came.

>>672131851
You got used like a dumbass.

>>672131851
you can greentext on a phone faggot

>be me on a phone
>this faggot sayshe cant greentext cause on phone
>call him a faggot via greentext from my phone
>faggot

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>>672133578
Ed Sheeran's overrated piece "Thinking Out Loud" began to play. The leader in me barges in, taking Lexi into my arms and start slow dancing. Using what I learned, I look into her captivating brown eyes but she doesn't do the same. Her eyes go back and forth as if a fly was hovering above my head. We mouth the lyrics (I listened to this song a few times thinking I was going to use it in the mixtape but decided no) but I don't even think she noticed. The song ends and she gets back with her friends momentarily. I feel uneasy after the dance, almost as if I knew it was going to be a rough night. The night ends up becoming a cycle of going on goose-hunts for Lexi (who would take off randomly with her friends) and never actually dancing with her. I actually dance with one of her drop dead gorgeous friends, who seemed pretty happy when I danced with her. The night begins to wrap up, with my main bros having left an hour ago, and other friends going to parties, etc. There only a few boyfriends and girlfriends on the floor as well as some single outcasts. Seeing them, I swallow my pride and ask Lexi to dance, who was (again) taking pictures with her girlfriends. She reluctantly agrees and we head on down. Her friends circle us like buzzards. With the extra room, I get to display my creativity with much applause and laughter from her friends but she was unmoved, like a statue. There was one more slow song that I can't quite remember, more or so the same situation as Ed Sheeran. But the next will be forever engraved in my mind. The last song. "Save The Last Dance For Me" by Michael Buble. A song on the mixtape.

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>>672133527
Totally did dude, I was so pissed when she didn't make me cum, but like now when I'm jerking and I need to cum, I just imagine her with that look of hate in her eye as she sucked my balls and stroked my dick. I even imagine other girls doing it and it really turns me kn

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>>672133759
After the slow dance, she immediately goes to find a somewhat familiar drop dead gorgeous girl, maybe the one I danced with. And I mean IMMEDIATELY. They dance, and it's intense. They twirl, and laugh, and smile. It was almost romantic... I look at them onwards while Buble exclaims to "Don't give your heart to anyone (while we are apart)" and "to save the last dance for me."
I felt defeated, my self esteem plummeting like a meteor. And she could see it. We meet eyes. A girl that felt like the queen of life, and a man who felt destroyed, defeated. She keeps on dancing, almost as if she couldn't spare her pity on the man who had the audacity to ask her to prom. I only prayed that the song ended soon. Much to my relief, it does, with everybody scurrying out. Worn out, I remember my gift. A potential redemption. The mixtape. After some more pictures, I calmly tell her that I have something to show her. She agrees, and we walk together one last time to my 2004 Tacoma, waiting for us. I hand her the mixtape, much to her surprise. She gives me a warm smile and an awkward thanks. Thinking I could salvage this mess, I ask if I could drop her off. She said she was going to stay with her girlfriends, unsurprisingly. We bid farewell, and I break down. The tears unexpectedly come in, and I let them. As a man considered strong, immensely powerful, I felt weak, worthless. Used and tossed aside. Eddie Vermer sang his heart out in Pearl Jams unplugged version of Black while I sang my heart out. It's how the emotion was quelled. I arrive home, and my parents could already tell what I had been through. They comfort me like any loving mother and father would, and tell me to try my best to forget it, even if the sting lasts a while. I then get a text, from Lexi. She exclaims that she had a fantastic time, and thanked me for the "magical" night. I shrug it off then felt something in my pocket. Lexi's prom ticket.

>be me, 17
>was Mormon at 16
>in the process of leaving Mormon church but no one knows that
>I am lonely and give in
>I ask out an ugly girl from church on a date via email in the middle of an email convo
>she says yes
>we go to movie theatre
>she is so fucking annoying, her voice is so nasal
>after the movie we go get ice cream
>at some point when eating ice cream she farts
>continue date like normal, I don't kiss her or touch her
>by the end of the date I am no longer lonely and am repulsed by her ugly face
3/10

>>672133713
>never said i cant
>said im not

>>672131851
Dude, this story would have ended like this...
>She won't go with out BFF
>BFF has no $$$
>You don't go with her.

Or better yet...
>You don't go to warped tour like a faggot.

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>>672133759
The months then pass by, with her briefly showing up at my college football signing to give me candy. Communication went dead. The ticket was returned to much curiosity from her friends. Graduation came and went, and thinking that she would care somewhat, I call her to take pictures. She says that her and her mom left but said it was nice hearing from me. She then blocked me on all social media, then unblocked me. Strange tactics, but my concern was gone. I ended up sending her a text honestly telling her that I did not enjoy prom, and that I honestly didn't know if we would see each other again. A weight lifted.

Sorry if it's long or not green texted but I used this as a basis for a 10 minute speech. I feel this the best way to tell it in tbh.

>>672134256
Get your ass back to /r9k/

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>>672129900

>>672132841
>>672133047
>>672133380
>>672133578
>>672133759
>>672133894
>>672134256
Full thing for yall.

>>672133894
Damn dude... What happened after that?

>>672134483
Never been there but don't feel like it :^)

>>672134256
that is one sad story

feels bad man

:,(

>>672134256
Similar thing happened to a buddy of mine. She felt pressured, might've had mixed feelings on the matter. Don't get hung up on it bro, she sounds a bit crazy. It is better this way.

>>672134669
It's where you belong.

>>672132841
>>672133047
>>672133380
>>672133578
>>672133759
>>672133894
>>672134256

God damn bro
Sorry to hear that. I toast my drink to you comrade

>>672134256
Right in the feels. Going through something similar at the moment.

>>672132841
>>672133047
>>672133380
>>672133578
>>672133759
>>672133894
>>672134256
how fucking beta are you?

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>>672134725
I got over it once college started up. Feel pretty good now actually.

>>672134256
>not a cringe thread

>>672134924
He was graduating high school man, jeez.
This sounded like some typical high school shit, responses and all.
Were you king alpha at 18? Maybe, but probably not.

>>672134924
I'm glad someone said it. I'm suprised he went to prom with a chick and not a dude, based on how Fuckin gayly that was written.

>>672130719
it's not so bad bro you don't run the risk of being divorced, having said kids being taken away from you, being cheated on, have said wife call the cops on you and make some fake shit up to get you in jail, it's a lot safer being single

>>672132587
>put on my spidey hoody and left

man you shot web and fuckin peaced out

>>672134924
A little, but I've been learning these past few years.
Does this mean you're the alpha of alphas? :^)

>>672135225
He'd like you to think that he did. Did you really fall for it?

Otherwise... >>672132587
Samefag.

>>672130719
Ultrakek

Is it possible that this is her?
http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/6730382/d1d2294a

>>672135169
I could understand social cues and tell when it was time to throw in the towel. I just picture him fucking crying on his way home and going home to mommy for a hug. I bet he wore a fedora w/ suspenders.

>>672135470
yep i fell for it

>me 21 she 20
>go out for a meal for second date
>get to restaurant she meets me there
>we sit down in the basement area nice place
>thingsaregoinggood.jpeg
>finish and ask for check
>waiter brings the machine to pay
>card doesn't read...... try agian.... fails
>2nd machine..... same thing happens
>she says she'll pay and that the same has happened to her
>go to bar with her after card works first time
>godfuckingdamit.gif
>drink, talk, laugh till midnight
>go home get stoned and jack off

>>672130719
Consider yourself lucky that farting is just white trash levels of unclassy, also married with 3 kids in 6 years out of highschool she a ho.

>>672135658
Doesn't sound that bad dude.

>>672128302
Dude beer and toast doesn't sound that bad

>>672131851
Oh no she had no money
>I guess shes not fucking going then

>>672131932
>>672131932

THIS.
Don't waste your time.

I took a girl to see "Ernest Goes To Camp" on our first date. Don't know what the fuck I was thinking.

>>672135617
I wore a black tux with a white shirt, no fedora.
And sure, I felt like shit after and my parents comforted me like any loving mom and dad would, but isn't that normal?

>>672136037
kek
best post in thread.

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>>672136037
I took a girl to see "Garfield"... I tried to go down her pants and she got up and left.. I stayed for the rest of the movie.

The usual

>Metro online. She looked cute
>Talked on the phone. Hit it off.
>First date!
>Uh oh...
>She's fat
>Wearing sweats
>I don't bail.
>Turns out she's a crazy feminazi. I manage to piss her off within half sn hour but not even trying
>She walks out
>Messages me later to ask if I'd like to meet her parents.
>WTF?

>>672136343
Holy shit this went 0-feels SO FAST.

>>672136440
So it went well?

>>672136440
Well, did you meet her parents?

I took one girl out to the movies on a first date and she wouldn't stop eating. Ate the entire time: candy, popcorn, nachos, etc... We were both fat, but I was intent on losing weight, so I avoided her after that thinking she'd be a bad influence. She later lost her extra weight, said she changed because of me. I'm still fat.

>>672136089
If the way you wrote that reflects how you act in person than it's time to make some changes. It honestly sounds like you smothered the girl. She was pumped to be your friend and get to know you but you probably blew her shit up non stop, which is probably why she blocked your shit on social media.

Also, another cringe part of the story is "admitting you didn't have fun at prom." She knows. Her friends know. Everyone knows. That's why they were ditching you literally the whole night. At least you still actually ended up going and don't try to talk to her anymore. Hope college has been better for you though. Loosen up a bit and don't smother every girl that glances at you.

>>672136138
>>672136343
ok i lied garfield post is best post

When starting talking to a girl..how do i ask their medical history? I've had bad experiences with bipolar/depression girls and Its weird to ask

>>672136880
This is actually good advice even if a bit heavy handed.

>>672136440
>wearing sweats
Which reminded me of this:
>I talked to a friend of my sister's on the phone for a long time before we first met.
>I made the mistake of wearing sweat pants with no underwear when we finally did meet.
>I popped a major boner when we were walking down the street hand in hand.
>I think my whole neighborhood saw my erect dong.

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>>672137047
>Say, "Are you fucked in the head or anything, cuz if you are imma probably be outta here. Ya know gotta watch out for myself. Hope you understand."

>>672137047
You don't ask. You should be able to feel these things out, they don't stay hidden long.

>>672137047
don't just blatantly ask. it should be easy to tell if someone is depressed. try to bring something up nonchalant like "heart problems run in my fam" or so and so has whatever. just try not to sound like a judgemental ass hole

>>672136631
No. On top of everything else they weren't even local. They lived 90 minutes away.

>be me 16
>been friends with this grill since we were 12
>always liked her
>she always flirted with me
>told me shit she wouldn't tell other people
>things were great
>be middle of the summer
>shes at my house
>were watching jackass
>talking about her getting a cat
>her parents are cool with it
>go to the animal shelter with her
>pick out this awesome grey/white kitten
>named it Skidmark because it has black marks on it
>meh.png
>2 weeks pass
>at her house again talking about random shit
>decide to finally ask her out
>shes surprised but agrees to it
>i leave her house
>im in the driveway in my car, shes in her house
>as im backing out, she texts me that skidmark is missing
>im looking at the text and backing up at the same time
>sounds like i ran over a rock or something because my car jumped
>i park back in the driveway
>get out, she meets me outside
>we start looking for skidmark
>shes checking behind the house, im checking around the garage
>still checking behind her parents cars, her car
>get back to my car
>i found what was left of skidmark
>laying there, with his guts hanging out of his stomach
>goddamnitman.png
>grab a walmart bag out of my car
>about to puke because of how gross this shit is
>collect his remains and tie the bag up
>go across the street to throw him away
>she comes back front of the house
>sees the blood spot in the driveway
>looks at me
>im holding a bad covered in blood
>she goes back into the house
>i feel like shit
>she never spoke to me again
>she ended up moving a month later, her dad got a job a couple of states away
>no one ever moved into her old house
>still sitting there today, abanoned
>feels bad man

>>672137922
>cat named Skidmark
>gets ran over
>the irony

>>672137922
Fuuuuuuuuuuck.

Not to salt the wound, but there is a lesson or two there.

>>672137339
TOP KEK

>>672132841
Who is your nfc north team?

>>672130936
what is this
im scared anons

> 19 working at six flags
> chubby but cute girl likes me
> friend of hers tells me and I agree to go on a date
> plan to pick her up, dinner and a movie
> show up at her house right on time...she lives close to an hour away
> no ones home
> we've been texting back and forth all day
> somehow fails to mention she's at a funeral
> her friend was shot in the head
> I tell her I'd be happy to go on this date another day seems like a bad time
> says no she wants to see me it will make her feel better
> wait another half hour before she gets back
> car pulls in back from funeral
> she motions for me to come out and I awkwardly have to meet her parents
> they seem to think we've been dating for a while
> she jumps right in my car and we head out
> go to Applebee's where she talks about her horse riding the entire time
> head to movies
> she runs into a group of her friends seeing the same movie we end up sitting with them..three other girls and one guy
> popcorn I buy ends up passed around to everyone
> get her home actully apologizes for her friends says she had a good time
> text her when I get home we agree to another date want to try again at a less awkward time
> no text for three weeks...whatever
> I'm getting ready for a final she text 15 minutes before it starts
> I'm already in class getting ready
> ask of everything okay haven't herd from you
> ask if i can call her, she's in the hospital
> ask what happened tell her I'm literally about to take a final I'll call her as soon as I get out
> says she tried to overdose on asprin and cut her wrist
> get done final text her if I can call..no reply
> try calling, no answer
> never here from her again
> not sure how to feel

>ITT people forget how to greentext
Stop being such faggots. It takes half a second

>>672138378
Packers.

>>672138782
>her friend was shot in the head
i believe it happened in usa.

>>672134256
Do you think things would've gone differently, had you gone with a different grill?

>>672139332
More than likely.

>>672139278
or Paris. They like to get shot in the head by terrorists over there

>>672139503
yes. you got me there.

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bamp

>>672138655
me too anon.
me too.

>be me 15 years old
>rainy day on school with the girl I like
>ask her to walk to her place
>I was gonna tell her I like her on her house's door
>kissundertherain.jpg
>walking and talking shit
>crazy dad appears on his car
>starts telling me to get in the car, my mom don't want me under the rain
>ask him to take her home
>nope.jpg

Fuck my life

>>672136343
that bitch didn't even watch the rest of Garfield.

>>672140559
Your dad is a mega cock blocking faggot.

>>672138782
Idk, I would just ditch the bitch.
>if you attempt suicide, do it good. Don't be a faggot.

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>be me, 19 at the time
>met this girl when I had a gf
>she wanna it but I had a gf and morals
>break up with gf
>become really good friends with girl
>talk for hours, hang out, occasional blazeitfaggot
>fuck i like her but I'm deep inside the friendzone by now
>she breaks up with her bf but is going to travel outside the country in a month
>for reasons, I seize the moment and ask her for a trial date
>she says yes
>finalfantasyfanfare.mp3
>I pick her up and hand her a bouquet of flowers
>we go to upscale mediterranean restaurant in the wealthiest part of the city
>food is fucking good and it's just chicken
>walk with her by an urban waterfront still in the nicest part of the city
>sun's setting
>I bust out this poem I wrote for her
>I look at her between verses
>allthecringethreads.webm
>say "this isn't working out, huh?"
>she shakes her head
>say "I'll take you back home now"
>she gets home, goes traveling, comes back two months later
>we spoke a total of two times after she got back for reasons
>mfw I found out her best friend also still liked me
>mfw I had both the friendzone and her friend still liking me working against my interests
>mfw I lost contact with the coolest girl I have ever known

>>672137922
damm,

bump 4 social justice

>>672141069
You probably fucked yourself with that poem

>>672141862
It was a piece of shit that I threw together in a day, and yes, it was not my best work. The poem didn't help but I started to sense the incoming failure by the time we got our entrees at the restaurant.
The date wasn't feeling like a date. It was just us having a good time being goofy and hanging out like we usually would. The sunset walk + poem was the move I decided to make then to see if I could plug the leak before the ship sank completely.
But you're right, the poem was a bad move because of how unnatural it felt given the context of our relationship.

>>672141862

yeah nobody wants a fucking poem. my roommate gave his wife a song for their 1yr anniversary. 6 months later, adios, motherfucker now needs a roommate

>>672133527
>>672135225
These posts are why i come to /b/

Bumperino

>>672141862
FUCKING YES, I love these responses, fucking /b/ making my night.

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Don't let this die, I'm having a fucking field day reading these

I'll contribute

>be me
>19 w/ own house and car (grandparents wealth they deaded)
>qt 18 7/10
>take her to half priced apps at applebees
>connections with bartender
>drink a little bit
>both buzzed
>great conversation
>shes kind of dumb, but holds conversations
>she goes to use restroom
>that fucking ass
>when she comes back
>i tell her she looks like she fucks black guys
>she laughs hard
>i said so am i right
>she says nah, we should keep drinking
>we do
>my house
>her 2 GFs come over
>one of my boys comes over
>2 dudes 3 females
>make out with her
>bout to slide in the bedroom
>she starts throwing up outside
>starts calling her parents
>her gfs tackle her and say fuck that
>everyone too drunk to drive
>offer to sober up and drive her
>she calls someone outside
>her friends know who she called
>she wont tell me
>20 minutes later
>black dude shows up driving an old chrysler town and country minivan with donut tires
>he has a fedora on and is vaping
>takes my girl "home"
>find out they have been dating 8 months
>cut her off immediatly, bang one of her friends (wasn't that good, 6/10 skinny but nice black hair and eyes, no tits)
>knew that bitch fucked black dudes the whole time

>>672143599
Good job dodging that bullet.

>>bout to slide in the bedroom
>>she starts throwing up outside
I feel like there's an important part between these two that's missing.

>>672143599
>knew that bitch fucked black dudes

kek

>>672144002
Some chicks just have a certain type of ass and face..and a certain weight where they look like they fuck black dudes. I fucking knew it and she denied it. that was probably why she laughed hard.

>>672143928
When i say "bout to slide in the bedroom" I meant we had been making out and everyone was turning down and we planned to smoke a cig and then go and "cuddle" When we were outside smoking she threw up and felt like shit, we drank a lot

>>672144157
It's usually the overdone eyebrows that give it away, or some kind of white washed blue jeans or Adidas or some shit

>>672130936
Wew

>>672131851
what a bunch of cunts

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>>672144368
here's what she looked like. had to fuck with it so no one can reverse it and find her FB

she did have overdone eyebrows at the time of the "date"

>>672143079
stop acting like a newfag

>15
>Ask tight little Asian girl named Steph to movies.
>She agrees.
>Can't talk anyone into giving me money.
>Get call 10mins later telling me she's bringing her fat adopted friend Kate.
>Already annoyed by lack of funds, but shrug it off over the phone.
>Brother overheard and said he'd pay if I brought him.
>Cha-fucking-ching
>Put my arm around Steph in car.
>She's rubbing my inner thigh under my sweater.
>We get to ticket booth.
>What do you guys wanna s-
>Brother bursts out, "We're seeing the Original Kings of Comedy."
>Blubber Orphan Kate says it's rated R.
>Walk up to the booth and pay the guy because I'm not some peach-fuzz little bitch.
>Brother's actually pretty generous with the snacks, looking back.
>Forgot to mention we're all two years his senior.
>As we're watching the movie and Steph's about to give me Handgelina, these niggers are busting out the raunchiest spook speak they can muster in one stand-up set.
>Steph becomes really uncomfortable and says it's extremely racist.
>Kate looks over and sees Steph's hand pulling away from my dick.
>"Ew! We're you touching his penis?!"
>Right in the middle of the fucking movie I swear to God you unwanted piece of flub.
>Brother exchanges, "I thought I was gonna get the nip!"
>Immediately walk to the bathroom to cry and shit.
>Go home right after.
>Never got that palm pussy.

>be me, 17 years old
>ask the girl I like to hang out
>she say she's got something important to tell me
>I want to tell her I like her too
>itshappening.gif
>we meet somewhere, let her tell me first
>I prepare myself to say I like you too
>she says she's leaving the country
>feels r 2 strong
>she asks me what I wanted to tell her
>I tell her some college bullshit
>never talked again
>pepe.png

>>672133894
Its Eddie Vedder man...

>>672144862
Your bro picked a good, funny ass movie. Too bad your date couldn't into humor and was clueless enough to bring a landwhale out of pity.

>>672133894
Man this is beautifully written, loving it.

>>672144862
Fucking hilarious anon. Holy shit.

>>672134256
Don't worry man I had the fucking exact same night, I also danced with her drop dead gorgeous friend who I should had went for instead. A little mistake in a small problem prom is bullshit anyways

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>>672138782
brother don't feel alone, that's actually happened to me too. this girl hung herself in the most satanic way possible: red lights, pentagram, nude, in front of the window for everyone to see.

Mind you, this was at a wealthy christian private university, in one of the wealthiest apartments in town.

sending that text knowing the fate on the other end of the line is a lot to take. knowing there's nothing you can do, but accept they're no longer around. I know that feel anon.

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> be me, 20 and live in France
> meet hot ass English broad at bar with big tits, agree to go on date
> go out the day after some French holiday, city is dead
> walk to local bar
> she starts talking about the last dude she dated
> weird but whatevs
> says "we had to break up because his cock was too big"
> Dafuq.jpg
> she elaborates, said she couldn't get it in
> I say why are you telling me this shit, nearly walk off but don't
> things get awkward but still go to skater bar I know
> bar is dead, just me her and bartender, who I thought was my friend
> Leffe Beer starts flowing, awkwardness subsides
> bartender joins us at table, puts on some good jams
> goodtimes.png
> they hit it off since they're both English
> beers flowing, getting pretty blotto
> don't know what happened, but all the sudden they're dancing together, like grinding
> I'm just sitting at table next to them
> mfw I'm getting cucked on a first date
> tell her I'm leaving
> she says no stay, get more beer
> ok
> get hammered eventually leave, she decides to leave too
> gets so pissed at me when I suggest we split the 50€ bill
> "but you asked me out, anon!"
> insist we split that shit, make reference to dancing with bartender, regain dominance
> leave bar, drunkenly try to kiss her
> she says no way, leaves
> stumble home
> text her to see if she wants get sushi the next day, never get response

Weirdest fucking date ever

>>672136880
Ya this is great advice I agree. Op should have taken the hint when she ditched him so many times. I honestly think he was just high school love struck happens to the young insecure ones

>>672128302

>be inna relationship
>gf is bi
>go out on new years with girl we have both been crushing on
>dinner
>cocktails
>spend the strike of midnight in glorious threeway make out session
>get home pretty early
>gf pesters her for sex
>she gets annoyed as she is tired and completely wrecked she then crashes out on couch
>gf gets pissy with me as she got clit blocked
>I spend the rest of the night with my head in toilet puking up champagne
>most awkward morning ever

Its started out so well, never seem to close the deal.

>>672134256
Good read. Shitty girl tho

>>672147489
You seem to have a mixed stance here.
>>672147494
Yo dude. Have some self respect, this is some bullshit.

>>672147368
It's not weird, you just couldn't show her a good time. Next time prepare a better date than just a bar you useless fuck.

>>672148415
Reread it again.
>They met at a bar.
>The city was dead because of holiday.

There were some rocky parts, she obviously hadn't gotten over her Ex, and lacked the ability to relate to anon. She connected easier with the English bartender.

I wouldn't say it is weird at all, fucking expected to be honest. That doesn't mean you should bash this guy.

I really hate prudes.

>be me 19
>I was the good looking, witty guy you want to party with
>I also came from a poor family
>I treated life as one big joke
>somehow get this chick to go on a date with me
>she was proper but cute as fuck
>ask her out to lunch
>a pre-date date if you will
>don't want to invest to much to soon
>agree to meet at this sandwich shack near the beach
>being the beach bum that I am
>I show up in board shorts and a shirt with cut off sleeves and flip flops
>shirt said " sex panther " from Anchorman
>break out flask as I was big time drinker then, thought I was cool
>few swigs in the flask she shows up
>she has on nice jeans, nice blouse, really nice shoes and her hair and makeup done up
>meanwhile I reek of weed
>I stand up, she tried to shake hands
>I just straight up hug her
>" hey nice to see you, sure is hot as hell today "
>she says " is this the place? "
> I say " yep, they have the best Cuban sandwiches here "
>we talk a bit
>she's stern
>I try to break the ice
>wanna a swig from the flask?
>she says" you're drinking? "
>I say " yes, but I won't tell if you don't " then winked at her
>she decided against the flask
>red flag for me, she's not a good time type
>she's more the catholic school teacher type
>ask her general questions and she seems to like that, she opens up a bit
>look at the meat hanging out of my sandwich
>say " looks kinda like a blasted out vajayjay eh? "
>she says " Yea...I guess so..I wouldn't know "
>okay so she doesn't like sex jokes
>wanna hear another a joke?
>she nods
>how do black dudes learn to break dance?
>she smiles and says how?
>by stealing hubcaps from a moving car * ba dum tiss *
>she says that racist
>she obviously fakes a phone call
>says its her dad
>he has a heart condition
>awkward hug then she leaves
>bummed out, go home, get drunk
>go to party and fuck a fat chick
>meh..

>meet qt grill at arcade
>hit it off decently
>take her out a week later
>we go to Dave and busters and get village inn
>talking having fun
>tell her I don't like coffee or some shit
>she says she loves it, and how can we be friends
>literally kick in to depressed mode
>basically beat around the bush being nervous and tell her my history with girls and she says the history with boys
>I'm pretty much acting like a creep but she seems fine
>leaving and I talk to her and say I didn't mean to act so weird
>she says it's OK
>drive her home, ask her if she wants to go to the zoo tomorrow, she says sure and she will text me tonight
>never texts or responds to any messages I send


Just turned 18 bros. Feeling lonely as fuck, where do I meet qts.

Also don't say get fit I'm not fat fuck off

>>672149665
You got depressed because she was teasing you? Jesus anon. Also dont spaghetti so hard

be me 21, never been on a date

>>672149296
So, I like your personality. If you can hold your own financials with drinking/smoking pot often you're gucci, but the "date" shouldve been more clarified. She thought it was a date, and you thought it was a date date, and she wasnt your type to begin with. Oh well. She expected something different along with you guys not being compatible.

>>672137339
Made a tear come to my eye. I'm proud of you son.

>>672128302
>be me
>have date with spaghetti
>she drinks too much
>spaghetti all over the place

>>672150058
>If you can hold your own financials with drinking/smoking pot often you're gucci
Woa... thats the deal? No wonder no many girls want to be with me...
ty anon, you revealed a mystery for me

>>672150058
Yeah I had a nice job at the time

The strange part is, we hung out a lot before that.

She would always go to parties but would just stand around and never partake in any activities.

Later I found out she was an army brat.

She married another army guy like her mother and had a kid before she was 23

We are still friends somewhat, she seems miserable.

Meanwhile I'm 27 now and its 6 am, and I'm smoking a little on my day off, cuddling with my golden retriever and enjoying some DarkSiders 2 on my ps3..

Does it pay to be so prude? I guess technically she got what she wanted?

Ole' well.

>>672149828
I know dude, but I have the fucking worst luck with girls and it just felt bad. I know not to do it again.

This threads about worst dates anyways.

>>672150344
can't tell if youre being serious

>>672150422
What did she get exactly? And enjoy your day off, maybe call up soon poon. You seem like a chill dude

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>>672150507
Bump

>be me
>be 24
>single
>friends think it would be a good idea to set me up on a semi blind date
>they have chick call me, talk for about ten minutes
>ask her directly if she wants to meet up and have dinner
>she says sure, doesn't care where
>Outback (had a thing for it at the time)
>she says ok

>meet up, see car she described
>she gets out 7/10 - not bad at all
>chat for a few minutes, but she's not very responsive. Short answers to questions and shit.
>our table gets called, on the way in she says "this is nice, i've never been here before"
>mfw there's like 4 Outback steakhouses within a 10 mile radius

>waiter drops us the menu, she finally starts showing signs of life
>I can't believe I'm sitting in a steakhouse
>wut
>starts droning on about vegetarian garbage
>waiter asks if we're ready
>I give her no quarter to say a fucking thing
>"I'll have veal. As rare as you can legally make it. I want to taste its fear."
>date goes to bathroom, never to return

>I had a nice quiet meal.

>>672150507
Im serious, i dont drink alcohol for 4 years now but i smoke weed everyday und everytime (exept before or till work)
But to be honest i also dont buy the weed

>>672150854
i meant during work

She>>672130719
She definitely had an anal thing going on. Had probably been wearing a butt plug, and not having it in meant air got trapped often. She wanted you to have anal sex with her. You just didn't pick up on it. Sorry dude. Teenage you would have appreciated that...

>>672150573
>what did she get excatly

What do you mean bro

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>>672128302
It's not bad, but it's awkward.
>date recently got her drivers license and wanted to show off her new car
>we exchange normal "how are you" conversations in the car on the way to a cafe
>I'm thinking of subjects to talk about, but can't come up with any
>I ask about their hobbies and interests
>mfw we have nothing in common
>we get to the cafe
>date says she'll pay
>I like being the one to pay, makes me feel financially mature
>turns out they're the same as me
>that's one thing we have in common, I guess
>before we get to the cashier we have a 3 minute back-and-forth about who's paying
>she finally lets me pay for us
>I order a baguette
>date gets a fucking cookie
>obviously she finishes first
>we sit mostly in silence because we silently agree on the fact that we have nothing to talk about
>awkward as fuck
>date suddenly brings up that she wants to pay for us
>we have the back-and-forth again
>I can't even remember who won that time, I think I gave in and let her give me money
>silence again
>I decide to take my half-eaten baguette with me
>they drive me home, we sit in silence
>we hug each other before she leaves
>never see each other again

We were work colleagues at one point, and talked a lot during our work hours, so I thought it would go well. I was very wrong.

>>672150960
You said you guess she got what she wanted..

>>672150483
Your response here proves it.

Relax dude, and reread your post. You're immediate response was admitting it, and then excusing it.

It isn't your luck, it is your knee-jerk reaction to take things personally. Don't be insecure.

>>672151075
Oh. Yeah.

Her mother married an army guy, who worked on a base. So they were always super serious.

So I guess, she got the super serious army guy she wanted, then like a proper lady she got married and had a kid immediately to lock that shit down.

Word around the way is, she is having problems, and is not very happy about life.

I may have been a dirty beach bum, but I never rushed life like that.

>>672151075
Not that anon, but I don't get what you're hung up on here...

He felt like she was a prude. Didn't have interest in chilling out, or appreciating simpler things. She was an army brat, and she followed in her family footsteps...

Her being miserable now has nothing to do with what she was looking for beforehand.

>>672151194
My luck with girls ever calling me back, even when I don't spaghetti, not even lion King

Man it was going good too, but I guess I learned my lesson. Its just so rare I meet a cute girl that shows any interest in me.

>>672150809
>"I'll have veal. As rare as you can legally make it. I want to taste its fear."
probably fake but i had some keks

>>672151437
You're gonna be fine buddy, just don't worry about it.

>>672151610
Just lonely anon

Just lonely....

>>672134256
Hahahahahaha such a shit long story you beta bitch wtf

>>672151347
Guy who wrote the story;

It kinda does though.

She set herself up from the beginning to be a stale boring person.

>>672128302
I respect you

>25
>never had one
>virgin
o-one day right bros?

>>672138096
Kek'd hard

>>672137339
>"mistake"

>be me
>talk to old friend
>haven't seen in years
>she's still smoking hot
>talk cute for several days
>setup date
>meet at restaurant
>she's actually a raging feminist
>the stupid kind
>"gender fluid" "nonbinary" and the likes.
>completely annoying
>gets offended at every question I ask or opinion I make.>let this be over soon.
>take her to movie
>InsideOut.MPEG
>movie is so good, so good
>but I start bawling my eyes out.
>I mean uncontrollably
>she asks if she needs to take me home
>i m looking like a straight up bitch.
>make it through the movie.
>silence the whole ride home.
>never spoke to her again

Fucking glad it happened.
Inside Out was a bad ass movie, fite me.

got one from a few years back, 2008 i believe, i'm 23, she's 21

>meet girl on POF named Jessica, from a couple cities over
>talk on phone for a week or so, going well
>i ran a store at the time, she was gonna pick me up at close and we'd go for drinks
>nervous, so started drinking before i even closed up shop, was drunk when she picked me up
>we end up walking around niagara falls drinking booze out of my backpack, things are actually going alright
>we start making out here and there, end up hitting jack's canteena, or whatever it was called back then
>up on roof, making out, i'm browned out drunk, get boner
>whip it out, in a bar, out on the rooftop patio
>yes, whipped my dick out with a raging boner
>she liked what she saw, but at this point i'm wasted
>she drives me home, i'm drunk and pretty much making fun of her, and being an all around arrogant prick
>she drops me off, then drives an hour home
>calls me when she gets there, is still really into my apparantly
>tells me I can't act like that when i meet her family
>"rofl, i'm never meeting your family!"
>click
>call back, straight to VM
>don't bother calling again

fin

>>672128302

>Be me. 34
>Work long hours, in a new country, Let's try online dating.
>This girl is a 10. I can't believe I'm so lucky.
>Show up. Looks literally nothing like the picture. Hair is a different color, gained lots of weight. Skin is a different color.
>Pictures are before her meth and sex addictions and scabies.
>Sit down, order dinner to be nice.
>When food arrives she suggests we leave without paying and go to her place.
>I tell her to finish the meal.
>She suggests we dine-and-dash.
>I say I'll pay.
>Leave, she suggests we go to her place to smoke weed, hook up.
>No, I think I'll just go home.
>She starts begging.
>No, really.
>What kind of a man would turn down getting high and fucking with a girl like me?
>She starts making a scene.
>She's screaming in a shopping mall.
>At least she's not calling me a rapist or something, she's screaming about how I'm a bad man for not wanting her.
>I walk away.
>I get a tall frozen Starbucks Frappucino with caramel and flakes of butterscotch on top.
>I drive home.
>I'm totally scarred by the experience and the image of her suffering haunts my dreams.

>>672128302
>Go on date with cute long time friend.
>Shortstack, auburn hair and bright green eyes.
>I live in the outskirts of the city, right at the beach and where the woods begin.
>We chill at the sea, swimming etc for some hours.
>Get home, make dinner together then watch a movie.
>Start getting it on.
>Take it to the bed.
>She puts blindfold on me.
>We make out for a bit, I eat her out.
>Stick it in.
>After about ten minutes she stops moaning.
>Continue to fuck her for some time.
>Asks if everything is okay.
>No response.
>She's sort of limp...
>Take off blindfold, her eyes are closed and she's unresponsive.
>I panic and try to get her to wake up, water and all.
>Call alarm central.
>Before they get here she suddenly coughs and gets back up.

Apparently, dehydration made her faint or something. And I fucked her for a bit even after she went out cold. No lasting trauma or anything.

>>672128302
never had such a bad date really but here's one:

>go to club one night, drunk as fuck
>wake up next day and realize there is a new number in my phone from someone named "Mary"
>Don't remember at all
>text her what's up?
>we talk, she sends a pic, not too bad, 6.5/10 or so, i was recently single so whatever
>we hangout, go on a hike in the mountains, pretty cool
>go to bar, get drinks, bartender makes joke "watch out, he's getting you drunk so he can fuck you"
>she says "he doesn't have to get me drunk to do that, i'll fuck him anyways"
>me with retarded ass grin/smile, "k"
>get back to her place, a fucking trailer, meet her dad
>his "name" is Tracy and he's a crossdresser
>we start watching a movie
>get the best bj i've had to this day
>we fuck, with condom (it's in a fucking trailer gross), i cum
>drive home at 3am
>not so bad, just a little weird.

>>672152406

Holy shit is POF developing a reputation for having messed up women and bad dating experiences. My girl was from POF, too!

>>672152586

Our posts are literally touching each other.

>>672151856
Nooooo, I meant in the context of his question. In the context of "her getting what she wanted."

She might not want it now, but that doesn't mean she didn't want it beforehand.

>>672152713
Uhm she was perfect..he fucked up LOL

>>672152713


i think i was the bad experience here tbh

i only got that far with her because i'm an 8.5-9/10 myself

if i was an average looking dude she'd have ditched me within the first 10 minutes, i was a dick

>>672152834

I'm fucking blazed. LOL

>>672152914

I'm like a 10 for capability and a 4 for self-esteem, so that shit bites me in the ass.

>>672152586
you probably dodged the bullet - literally

>>672152914

nice

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>be me; 14yo beta.
>finish highschool and decided to tell crush how I feel.
>travel across the city for hours to get to her place. Scary as shit.
>DeclareUndyingLove.exe
>doesn't go well; "I like you as a friend"
>heartbreak.rar
>be me; 25yo world travelling alpha.
>meet again on Facebook, tell her she broke my heart, but I got over it.
>end up coaxing her to visit me on other side of the planet.
>have most romantic holiday ever.
>her turn to
>DeclareUndyingLove.exe
>she goes home and sells everything to move to be with me.
>Plans are set
>She is waiting for her flight.
>mfw I break up with her while she's boarding a connecting flight.
>mfw I block all her calls and contact before she lands.
>mfw paybacksabitch.jpg

>>672134256
Well written bro

>>672150809

fucking kek, this is why dating sites arent all bad.

Not a first date, but something relate-able
>browsing dating profiles on okc
>see an 8/10 spiritual airy looking vegan
>message her ironically, not expecting much back
>shes actually into me
>know that taking this further would be a mistake anyway
>make some joke about her feasting on souls
>she laughs, agrees
>literally cant resist making another joke
>"Is that where you get your protein?"
>Fuckingdropped.jpg
>it was worth it

mfw i ended up dating a different vegan for 2 years. She was an amazing cook, and would cook meat for me. I dont judge them all now.

>>672153102
That's cold as hell! I love it!

>>672130719

That's my high school crush right there. I asked her out. She said yes. I never followed up. We were friends on facebook for a while, but she hated the whole memory of my crew, so she's linked to like none of us.

>>672153207
LOOLOLOLOLOLOL

>>672153102
meh. that's too much bullshit to happen.

>>672137047
You seem lovely. Are you on any medication or are you always this good ?

>>672151471

I had a date like this. I live in Canada, and I took her to brunch. We sat down, she thought I was amazing. She found out that I coach shooting and accused me of being a Republican and then began to storm out of the restaurant. I sat and said, you know, you can sit down and finish my date with me like an adult rather than make a scene like a child so you can brag to your friends.

We sat. We ate. She found out that I'm actually not such a bad guy. We did what you do after an online date. We discussed how the date went and if we'd like to meet again. Rather, she started with a "I honestly didn't have such a bad time.." "I did. Let's never meet again. Have a nice day."

And then I left.

>be me
>24
>see this thread
>realize I haven't actually spoken to a girl my age in probably over a year now
>no date stories, no dates
>spaghetti internally

>>672153452

This is like how I fantasize about a girl who broke my heart in high school.

>>672137047

I did too.. but the sex was so good I didn't care.

>>672138782
You dogged a bullet. Fast drama queen. She's alive aspirin doesn't kill you just fucks up your insides if you keep doing it and age will. Don't contact her delete her number and live a happy life.

>>672153452
>meh. that's too much bullshit to happen.
No bullshit at all beta boy.

>>672138783
Hey
>fuck you

>>672154355

I mean, it was fucked up, deprived sex. It was the hottest sex I'd ever had. I have really sad theories about how she got this way, but every few hours she'd have the urgent need to fuck my brains out with a fucked-up obsessive longing for it. Then she'd cum really hard and be absurdly appreciative, basically worshiping me. To top it off, she was always trying to push this boundary farther and so would look up fetishes online to try. The experiments were hilarious, heartwarming, and among the most memorable sexual experiences of my life, but moreover, we had insanely good sex, and she wasn't afraid to let everyone in the immediate vicinity about it.

>>672154006
Coooold Blooded.

You handled that very maturely and professionally though anon. Nothing wrong with shooting either, it has no bearing on political affiliation.

>>672154659

*BROFIST*

>>672154006
>accused me of being a Republican
this i believe. rough times when people make you feel "accused" because of your political inclination. you did good

not really a "date"

>be 15
>friends and I want to go to school dance
>poorfag so have to wait until Friday when day gets paid to buy ticket
>we walk up to school hall. friend of friend joins us. Her name is alice
>she's curvy with nice big tits
>get to dance. oh-oh, needed to buy tickets in advance
>alice and I don't have tickets so we decide to walk home
>having a good time talking
>come to some woods and alice tells me that's where kids go to make out and asks in I want to walk in
>absolutely
>walk in a little way away from the street and sit on concrete blocks
>she asks if I want to kiss
>start making out with her
>accidentally brush hand against boob. apologize
>she tells me it felt nice
>start feeling her up
>she takes my hand and slips it under her sweater
>fucking boob is on fire. soft and hot
>more making out
>she asks me "do you want to go further?"
>I say "sure" and stand up and start walking further into the woods
>alice looks at me as if (correctly) I'm a fucking moron
>tells me maybe we should walk home now

and that's how I DIDN'T lose my virginity at age 15

>>672136343
Did you just go for the pants or did you warm her up first?

They just want you to kiss them, then you get the pussy.

>>672154999

I had an even worse one. This girl works with me and goes around discussing our career paths with high school girls. Now, we're both fellowshiped scientists, but hers comes from a group that gives their people more money, despite the relative prestige of what I'm doing. So I point out that I make $0.77 on the dollar of what she does (actually $0.80), and she just flips her shit. This was after she made me pick up the tab because, as a man, clearly I make more.

Like, we were on our way back to my place to have sex when I point this out.

>>672155301

Pro. I've done this move. Not exactly, but damn close.

>>672137922
>house is abandoned

why did I laugh?

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>>672155481
well, this was just bad

>>672155301
>she asks me "do you want to go further?"
>I say "sure" and stand up and start walking further into the woods
fucking gold

Mate calls me up at 1am tells me to come over hes got two chicks over and one who i met before wants me. I drive an hour to get there and they are all in the lounge room, theres actually 3 chicks and 2 are under blanket while mate takes the last into a room to bang. I'm still a virgin at this stage, but the girl who "wanted to see me" ignored me and just sat there texting on her phone. This is a decade ago before facebook, internet etc on phones were not that interesting to play with. After several hours of them ignoring me I leave, mate calls me up a few hours later and was like dude wtf she said you didnt make a move. Wtf could I have done just raped her? She barely even aknowleged my presence let alone talk to me or cuddle on the couch.

>kek

>>672149296
You sound like the kinda person whose whole life is a string of fat chicks and disappointments

>>672155481
Next time you fuck her, and then hit her with the facts if it is still eating you up inside.

>be me 16 junior in high school
>ask crush on date she also 16
>She a good 8/10 around 5'3 massive tits
>watch a shitty magic movie with
Steve Carrell
>reach for popcorn accidentally touch her hand
>she looks at me so I hold her hand
>movie ends
>standing in front of mall with her
>then she askes me if I'm going to ask her out
>I nervously say no on accident
>never messages me again seen her in school but we never make eye contact
>been 4 years

>>672153102
Never happened

>>672156493

I'm going to run into this girl this week. I am just thinking, "this woman is a ticking time bomb."

>>672156927

Yes, but it's a cute story nontheless. I'd watch it.

>>672156962
sorry to hear that bro.

>>672153102
can you post any proof at all?

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>>672152603
same happened to gf. scared the shit out of me.

>>672152603
but was sex better while she was out?

>>672128302
>invite crush to gig of a band I know she loves
>she says yes
>get the tickets
>taking the bus to the venue, my cellphone rings
>crush messages that she changed her mind, will be staying at home
>next day gets tagged on a FB pic with friends on a party
>fuckthisshit.jpg, delete her from FB, never talked to her again

>>672128302

Ugh dat feeling of being the only fucking adult in the room. Much feels, anon.

>>672159403
thats no bad date but reason to rape someone

>>672158859
Glad I'm on the only one.
>>672159323
Nah, a lot worse.

>>672159632
>Nah, a lot worse.
so i am the only one to enjoy such shit

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>>672128302

>>672152713
My wife was from POF, talkin 9 years ago now though. Maybe it's gone to shit since but back then I met heaps of solid dates through it.

>>672131851
Daaaaaaamn you got played son. They're some natural cons.

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>>672131851

jesus.

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>>672130719

>about 18 years old, bored playing WoW one night
>about to start a raid with guild and this bitch messages me on msn
>She is one of the girls that hangs out with our group of people so I know her pretty well
>Asks if I want to come over, her and her friend are in the basement just chilling out
>easy pussy, so I say yeah I'll be there in a bit, its like 4 blocks away
>I end up starting the raid and like 2 hours goes by and I completely forget about going to the girls house
>I end up just walking to her house, they had a side door that led directly to the basement, it was locked but I could see in to the other door where they were
>nobody answers the fucking door, didn't want to bang to hard in case i wake the parents
>End up just walking back home
>Find out the next day that they fell asleep and didn't even hear me knocking on the door
>So that is how WoW ruined my chances of fucking these two chicks because I know it would have happened

In the end. The one chick who was a good 8/10 at the time was hanging out with me and my best friend. We go to my moms house and it just the three of us hanging out. She asks if we could drive her back to her friends house. We tell her that she needs to do something for us if she wants a ride, joking around. She agrees to fuck. We have no condoms. So we leave her at my house and walk 5 minutes to a store, buy condoms and go back. She is in my room and i fuck the shit out of her. I walk out while she is still laying in bed and my buddy walks in and fucks the shit out of her right after. My bed ends up breaking. Kinda pissed. She gets up and we drive ehr slutty ass back to her friends. I ended up fucking her like 7 more times through out the year randomly. Now she has two kids with some loser who is in and out of jail. Trashy as fuck, does drugs and apparently got hep C. Who knows.

>>672156158
>few months later same mate calls me up "hey dude some of the girls who's soccer team I coach are having some drinks and want us to come over get ur ass over here"
>race over there, 2 women in their late 30s ish rock up, drive us over to their house across town. It's just them, one of the women is literally twice my age and jumps on me. Still a virgin but I don't wana fuck a woman 20 years older than me. Reject her and she loses it, because she had been fucking my mate until last week, who was right this minute fucking the other woman in the house. She starts bitching and the love triangle has a big fight in the lounge room. I leave and get a train home.

>>672133894
Lol sounds like my first prom
> bro's girlfriend tells me her friend broke up with someone
> right in the midst of prom
> so I ask her with flowers, she says yes
> day comes, we take pics at town square
> something is off, girl talks to friends more
> when we take second line of pictures, a guy shows up and my prom date just runs up to him and they are just active now
> laughing, taking pictures and what not
> Wtf bitch
> 9 pm, prom begins
> she dances but goes in other room with her cell phone
> she's texting guy from earlier
> prom is over, tell her let's get to afterprom
> "I gotta go change at friends house"
> aight then
> get a text, fucking furious
> "I can't go, I'm not feeling too good"
> Bitch you were feeling just fine dancing with your friends, dont give me that
> go to afterprom and just hangout with friends

The guy she was talking to had a miata, explains alot

I never went on dates. I just knew a lot of people in my city, always got pussy. Sometimes they wanted to fuck me. MSN messenger was the key to getting pussy back then. Too fucking easy.

>>672161057
Second prom was no better
> asked a girl from a town close to mine, she said yes
> we go to eat, all goes well
> she has friends that live in my town, so her instinct is "Oh I better go hangout with them instead of the guy who invited me to prom"
> Alright I'll just dance with them
> night goes good, but still kinda ignores me
> car ride to my house to change, we talk and whatever
> afterprom, she kinda just ditches me
> bring her to my house, I asked if she wanted to hangout with my friends who stayed up
> says she's gotta go home, hugs and left
> week later, I get info that she just went to go hangout with a different guy

My 2 years of prom sucked cock thanks to crappy dates. I'll never get them back

> be me 16
> we was on a park
> i was horny
> she dosen't want to do anything
>we start to kiss
> i take my dick out of my pants
> she dosent want to take it
> i kiss her again while i was putting her hand on my dick
> she starts to do an handjob
> i cum on her hands
> she starts to be horny
> she starts to do a blowjob
> i cum on her mouyh
> i never call this girl again

>>672152386
>crying at a cartoon in front of a feminist
kys

HAHAHAHA
> a week ago we was at the cinema
> we was wathcing Deadpool
> i was horny
> i put my hand trought her panties
> ahe tried to take the hand out
> but i started to finger her wet pussy
> she came like 3 times.
after I fuck her ass in the car

It was a very nice date.

?be 14
>be beta
>go to church
>landwhale at church likes me
>asks my parents if i could take her to homecoming.
>parents say yes
>tell me 3 days before
>I have wow raid
>pissed, whatever
>3 days later
>parents drive me to her house then to dance
>shitty dance
>dance a little bit with her
>such a fucking landwhale
>she goes to bathroom
>I sit down on bleachers
>random ass alpha comes up and starts pumping his man bitz in my face.
>get up and leave
>landwhale texts me
>reply I'm outside
>tells me she was molested and her parents are drug users
>her parents come pick her up
>go home
>get on WoW
>still raiding on last boss
>open spot
>mfw I get the only loot I needed in that raid.

>>672162909
you are missed Deadpool because of pussy. Get out

>>672152603
Way to rape her, shitlord.

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>be 17 at the time
>hanging out with my friend
>shootn the shit
>having a great time
>she starts talking about how I don't leave my house much and how I'm single
>not much of a reason to go outside so I don't
>not dating because I don't have money and I'm not interested
>asks to set me up with one of her friends for a blind date
>say no to her ugo gollum looking friends
>"this ones really pretty, trust me!"
>doesn't matter, I don't have money
>gives me $120 for the date
>condoms and candy
>she must be a real freak if you're being this desperate about it but whatever
>decide I'll go since I don't have anything better to do
>fast forward to date time
>told to meet up at the trolley station downtown
>so I'm waiting talking to some chick who asked me for the time to pass the time
>finally shows up
>if I had to rate her she had a 7/10 body with a 9/10 face
>"date didn't even start and already hitting on someone huh?"
>she's giggling
>I'm laughing making up dumb fake excuses for a laugh
>now we're all laughing
>alright let's go
>we go sightseeing around the downtown area since neither of us have spent much time there
>taking in the sights and really hitting it off
>have a bite to eat at some fast food place
>jump on the tram and head back to her place after some more sight seeing
>everything's going pretty well and I'm already swellin up to fuck her later
>get to the apartment she's living in and her parents are out for a couple days
>suddenly the mexican food we ate earlier hit us like a fucking truck
>she's in a cold sweat as am I
>I try not to be as obvious as her and she just lays tells it like it is
>"oh shit, that shit just hit me"
>I'm laughing trying not to kak my pants
>"you're the one who wanted Mexican"
>I play it off anymore
>she runs off to her parents bathroom
>I go to closest one and doors slam
>greeeeaaat
>after an hour or two my journey of self discovery is over and my asshole was set ablaze
>wipe
>go to flush
>not flushin
>ah shit
>cont.

>>672163214
yes, i'm gonna re watch this flm.

>>672163453
Also I can't greentex worth a damn so bear with me here.

>>672147368
Désolé...

>>672163499
too late - not the same. also checked

>>672Dude, now i'm sad.

>>672163940
>Dude, now i'm sad.

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>>672164086
sorry, but you wasted good movie

>>672162926
>>tells me she was molested and her parents are drug users
kek wtf

>>672130719
Kid's are awesome and The worst fucking thing there is at the same time.

>>672147494
pure fucking degenerates

the world is over friends

>>672134588
Fuck

>met a guy online
>decided to meet person
>7 pm downtown
>got there half an hour early
>7:15 he's still not there
>messaged him
>no reply
>about to leave
>got a reply
>hi
>the fuck?!
>asked where he was
>outside
>high as fuck
>couldn't stand
>he took shoots an hour before we met
>felt bad
>stayed with him until he's down
>loud as fuck
>told people that I'm his wife and I'm not an illegal immigrant
>knelt in the middle of the mall proposing to me
>people were happy
>told them he's just high
>disappointed.jpg
>I had a lot of fun and my sides left me

No second date because he's moving back to his province in a couple of months so it's pointless to move forward from there.

>>672164735
Yea shit was weird.
She had a baby at 16 and seemed like her life is pretty reckt.

>go on date with one-itis
>just broke up with her bf
>been waiting for this for years
>she won't shut the fuck up
>her voice annoys me
>tells me she's been slutting it up
>she knows I like her
>didn't even bother to call me first
>ohiseehowitis.jpg
>loose interest

>mfw we missed the boat, and the quirky girl I fell in love with died when she met her chad-tier bf.

Atleast I broke it off, and didn't settle for some used up shell of a whore.