>>670763068
I feel you anon.
I'm feeling like shit tonight

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>>670764119
forgot frog

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>>670763068

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>>670764397
another in hopes that this thread doesnt die

Hello OP

>>670764397
thanks

>>670765578
hello

how are you

>>670766168
yep.
So what are you doing with this fine night?

>>670763068
Talk about my life?
>Diagnosed deaf as a child
>Parents didn't want to believe anything else and it was before Autism became a thing
>Non verbal for most of my early childhood
>Suddenly I'm not deaf anymore and parents are relieved.
>Go my entire life thinking everyone thinks like I do and that everyone has the same struggles.
>Things are very difficult in school and socially but I make it to adulthood
>FFS start seeing my own primary care doctor and I get referred to an adult Autism psychiatric clinic.
>Find out I'm fucking Autistic, have OCD, and Severe General Anxiety
>The huge fucking struggle I've had my entire life finally makes sense.
>Receive a lot of therapy and help and things start to be less difficult
>Life is pretty ok now.

>>670766648
Fuck thats quite the story.
Glad that you're a lot happier now.

>>670766963
Thanks Anon

>>670766557
Watching weird video's, listening to music, playing battle for middle earth while consuming huge amounts of chamomile tea in hopes of being able to sleep. How about you?

>>670766648
I'm happy that you finally got diagnosed right. My little half brother has been misdiagnosed a lot as well, and it adds a lot more stress/misunderstanding/feelings of isolation.

>>670767161
No problem man
>>670767280
Listening to music, dwelling on some weird shit, and lurking around. Not too much I suppose

>>670767500
lurking around the internet.
forgot that last bit

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>>670763068
>post some frogs
>some frogs
>frogs
i only know pepe.

>>670767920
we all know pepe anon.
we all know

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>>670767920

Everything was going fine until someone told me yesterday I look like david schwimmer, i've been contemplating suicide ever since. But I have my last two finals tomorrow and friday to finish college, so I'll probably do it after that so I can leave having accomplished something.

>>670768685
well accomplishment is a good thing

>>670768685
Well, looking like a Jew is pretty bad. But if you're dead, accomplishments won't matter at all.

Don't kill yourself tho.

>>670763068
Hey Op.
How's it going?
Tell me about your life.

>>670767500
What are you listening?

>>670769219
I suck at telling stories, I never know where to start.

>>670769526
>I suck at telling stories, I never know where to start
Meh, no ones keeping score.
Had insomnia long or is something bothering you?

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>>670769526
Just some relaxing stuff like pic related because its pretty late and I dont feel like listening to anything loud

>>670769908
No, nothing is bothering me, I don't even feel particularly bad. Been having insomnia since I was 11 or sth, but sometimes it's worse than usual, like now.

>>670770818
Well that sucks. Can't find anything to help?

I don't sleep much anymore. Not expending much energy these days. Got a lot of free time now so I can nap whenever I want.

Got anything special going on tomorrow?

>>670763068
My life looks like this:
Wake up, go on computer, spend whole day on computer, 11pm go to work, come back from work at 5am, sit on a computer, go to sleep..
Repeat..
Meanwhile I go to store and buy bread and eggs, eating once a day, drinking 5 liters of tea..
Showering mby once per week, cant remember when I shaved last time, big beard..
Last 5 years passed like 1 year, time flies by fast when everything is the same every day..

>>670768685
kek

>>670772072
I feel you.
Except instead of work I'm still going through school. Everything flies by way too fast.

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>>670771826
No, even sleeping pills don't work at the worst times and when they do, I will wake up after an hour and won't be able to sleep. Need some new supplies so I'll go to the stores tomorrow, luckily they're open longer than usual on thursdays so I won't have to wake up that early. You?

>>670772072
<
My life is the same atm

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>>670772980
>>670773133
some good ones here.
I dont see those posted very often.

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>>670763068
drew u a frog m9

>>670774087
I like this frog

>>670774087
That actually made me feel better

>>670773277
Nah, nothing special to look forward to. Days don't count anymore. Been disabled for 8 years.

Sleep a few hours, up @ 4:30, coffee & internet, couple of vodka + grapefruits by 6:30, more webernet, maybe a Dr appt, lunch, more innertubes, another drink, sometimes dinneror a nap,back online, bed time whenever.
Rinse/repeat.

Kinda boring.

>>670774215
>>670774255
>>670774087
kek made
another one

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>>670774431
shit forgot pic

>>670774504
>air force one
anon your my new hero for tonight and I no longer feel like shit

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>>670763068
I have insomnia and a mysterious unidentifiable pain that is most likely linked to anxiety. My doctor shows absolutely no sympathy or empathy towards this. After much hassle i was told to try an over the counter herbal medicine for anxiety. Its basically a sedative and should help with anxiety and make you sleepy.

It smells worse than a showered asshole and leaves your breath/burps smelling just the same. It also did not help with my anxiety pains nor did it help me fall asleep. I even took twice the recommended dose because it does not come in 200mg like the doctor said.

I should find a doctor/psychiatrist that knows more about anxiety/depression/etc. and one who would care more. But i have very little time to schedule something because of work/school/friends/etc. which also leads to more anxiety.

Its a terrible cycle, but i'm sure ill make it eventually.

>>670772072

what do you do for work?

>>670763068
watch some porn dude

>>670774763
Sorry that everything is going shittily for you bro.
Just push through and eventually you'll hit some kind of a break or your problems get better.

>>670763068
I dropped out of college 3 years ago because my mom's Alzheimer's got to the point where she can't be left alone anymore. I've spent the last 3 years of my life watching my mother slowly die in front of my eyes. She doesn't even realize I'm her son anymore. I have to take her to the bathroom otherwise she will shit herself and then I have to clean it up. Now she is developing sundowners which means she gets incredible hostile towards me when it starts to get dark out. My mother just screamed that my grandfather who has been dead since before I was born was going to kill me and then threw her dinner at me. That is what my life has been like for the last 3 years and I think I'm finally starting to mentally crack.

>>670775106

Have you thought about assisted living facilities?

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>>670774925
Pressclipping..
I get daily newspapers, some PDF, some physical in paper, I scan them and seacrh for key words, and in photoshop I cut articles and send to clients, like politicians, ambasadors, rich/famous people etc.. nothing special, just more sitting on a computer..

>>670763068
its normal that you don't know with 20 years wat you want for your life?

>>670774313
What happened?

>>670774431
You're a good anon

>>670774763
What kind of pain is it? What anxiety do you experience?

>>670775106
Look for help man. It's not something you can do alone, especially not when you're her son.

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>>670774925
And you?

>Be me
>Start playing football at 8 years old
>Taught to tackle head first
>Hit head repeatedly
>Get severe migraines, insomnia and memory loss junior year
>mfw find out football is bad for your brain
>feel bad knowing you may never be smart again

>>670775321
>>670775455
Costs 80 grand a year. We are trying to get her on Medicaid but it is such a long process and my dad has been extremely stubborn about putting her in a facility so he just started filling out the application today and he still isn't sure about putting her in a home. He is basically sacrificing my sanity at this point just so he can spend a few more months with a wife who doesn't even recognize him anymore.

>>670775106
You're a good person anon.

>>670768303

no, you just think you know
you don't really know

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I guess I'm fine, have a frog.

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I have no direction in life, no meaning.
It is killing me.

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>>670763068
Sure thing bro

>>670775980
does anyone know?
no. We all are guessing.

Op a faggot
https://youtu.be/AE43j8ko6TA

>>670775880
Thank you anon. You have no idea how good it feels to have somebody say something nice after being insulted for the entire day.

>>670775029
Yea. I'm doing fine for the most part. The stress is bearable and i'm not depressed.
>>670775455
Its a tight chest pain. I thought maybe they were like mini heart attacks or clogging arteries a few years ago. But noticed they accompanied stress but even more specifically anxiety. Usually only got them once a month or less. But during one period of high anxiety i got them almost every night for a couple of weeks.

I have no idea what they really are and what exactly causes them. I did a bunch of tests and bloodwork and my body is perfectly healthy. But maybe its a mental thing where my body is telling my brain not to be anxious and live in the moment. Like a baser instinct of a primitive hunter so he dosent get eaten while thinking and worrying.

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>>670774748
>>670774504
>>670774431
>>670774255
>>670774215
>>670774087
glad to be of service

>>670775455
>What happened?
Pulled my bootstraps too hard/long.
Worked too much. A few spine injuries I didn't get taken care. Fingers are shot now. Legs don't wanna move me.

Spent 4 years in a morphine mist. Quit cuz I was tired of jumping through hoops to get the Rx filled. Been opioid free almost a year now.

>hurts like fuck most days

>>670776429
mind if I save?

>>670776010
dont say that , life is made of twists , dont give up

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same here..
and I am not even ugly, I'm good looking guy, but I don't have money, parents lived like there is no tomorrow, and me and 2 brothers are fucked now, all working shit jobs and barely getting through..
I just blame it all on Federal Reserve and bankers.. listening alot to economy interviews, waiting stock market to collapse.. can't wait tbh, hope it comes as soon as possible..

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>>670763068
So there's this girl whom I've had a heart boner for since jr high, but we haven't seen one another since HS, God knows where she is now.
I did some sleuthing on Facebook, found her mother, and some of her close friends, but not her.
I just wanted to let her know she made a difference in my life, and inspired me to be a better person. I wanted to write her a letter explaining this, but now she is nowhere to be found, just beyond my grasp.
Well, might as well say it here and hope she lurks or something.
I'm sorry Emily, I wish I could make it up.

Now I have the suicide feels again /b/.

>>670776316
You're welcome dude.

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>>670776732

>>670776980
Cat hugs are always appreciated.

>>670775849
I meant help for yourself. Talk to a professional about this, it's probably been affecting your mental health for some time already.

>>670776333
Sounds pretty bad. Talk to another doctor, or maybe psychological help?
Nice trips btw.

>>670776449
That's rough man. Any hopes for the future?

>>670776732
Don't take this the wrong way, but I think you're seeing an illusion of her, not the real her. Thus, it would be a bad idea to tell her. You shouldn't forget about her, if she inspires you, but also don't forget that the reality of her is most likely different.

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>>670776732
listen to the frog

>>670777293
I saw a photo of her, just today, in fact, literally a couple minutes ago.

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>>670777231http://galactic.no/rune/thaoeng.html
see this, will help you to see that life its not just that

>>670777293
Oh never mind.
Listen.
when I was younger, I was the quietest person I knew, and she was my feamle equal in shy, but she grew out of her shell first, but it was obvious she noticed I hadn't grown out of mine.
When we used to flirt, she would even make a note of it to mention it. She was supportive, smart, and just a fucking cool person too, you guys would have probably thought she was too.
I refuse to believe anything less.

>>777777777

>>670777293
Oh that makes sense. I have an intake visit with a therapist on Friday actually. She is supposed to be one of the best in the entire city. I just had a really rough day today and I guess I just needed to vent my feelings a bit early since I've been silent about my feelings for so long.

This thread is pretty depressing..
I like it..

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I don't know why I wake up anymore. I don't have anybody that I'd consider an actual friend. I have no goals, no future. What's the point?

im from the future, you all will be dead so go fuck some pussy

>>670778415
gotta see who wins the election

>>670777547
Nice meme, can I have it?
:::::DDDDDDD

>>670778415
its not about the others , its about you inner journey

Jace if you're in this thread, go the fuck to sleep.

>>670778723
That inner journey has been pretty fucking boring and depressing.

>>670778194
I believe you when you say she was cool, and I'm not telling you she wasn't, just that she isn't your holy saviour.

>>670778381
Good luck anon, I hope therapy helps.

>>670778526
kekd

>>670777293
>Any hopes for the future?
kek.
No. Disability pay keeps me below poverty level so there's no $$$ to do anything. Not that I could plan it anyways. Hell I can't even volunteer because I never know how I'm gonna feel.

Was butting heads with a Dr yesterday about my blood pressure. She didn't know it raises when you're hurting. Kept telling me about my organs are gonna get damaged. Had to bottom line her with "I'm old, my fam's raised, I'll never get back to work, I'm always broke, why in Hell should I care?".

Getting tired of them trying to call the shots on what meds I should take because they sure as fuck don't have to live with the side effects or withdrawals.

>just cruising til my numbers called...

>>670778800
This
When all you have is your fucking self to really talk to all the time, the inner journey becomes about figuring out why you have nobody to share your journey with.

>>670778662
I produce memes daily m9 u can have it

>>670763068
Im exactly the same, lonely bored and got insomnia, its nearly 6 in the am here and im wide awake, been awake all night

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>>670763068
A frog that no other has.

>>670763068
Fun fact: Having been electrocuted by mains voltage over a dozen times, the likelihood of you dying by sticking a fork in an outlet is quite low, unless you're an infant

>>670778526
whoever wins, nothing will change..

>>670778846
I know she isn't, but I at least have to let her know. Before we went separate ways, I did some stuff I wish I hadn't, and I think it might of hurt her.
I have to let her know man, not that I love her, but that I'm fucking sorry, and wish her what she deserves, a good, happy life.

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>>670779174
Thanks for sharing, I'll aim for a better source of electricity.

>>670778800
what makes you happy? if you could choose your life ?

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>>670779050
hello my brother eurofag.. almost 7 am here too, going strong, night is still young..

>>670779040
thanks, I'll use it when I need to kill myself in the future.

>>670779342
Go for amps, not voltage. If at all possible have the circuit start at one hand and end in the other.

>>670776256
leave the kid alone, you yes are a fucking chinese fag

>>670763068
>Be me
>Got herpes at some point, no idea when
>Be in love with new girl, 6 months into serious relationship
>Pretty sure I just gave her herpes
I am so high right now. I don't know how to cope with that. What happens when she finds out she has herpes? I hope she cheated on me, that would be the easy way out for me.

>>670763068
Three/3 communications/explanations/informations/texts of a technology:
1/One: body movement caused/since of energies sent from machines far of miles/kilometers;
and/or/an-other-communication of 2/Two: human of technology of machines...machines transmit/send energy...energy at/striked/hitting metals in human...metals moved/arranged...so/causing/thus...electricity so...body muscle movement of tensing/slackening;
and/or/an-other-communication of 3/Three: STIMULATION OF BODY-MOVING/LIKE-SENSE SINCE OF ELECTRICITY OF CAUSED OF IN OF BODY SINCE 1. tiny metals in human 2. metals moved since of energies striked/hitting metals 3. energies sent/from machine far/distant/not-close/no-nearness of miles.

I got/received a text of communication/question/ask of:_"\_ Everyone knows this already. How do you fix it. _/"_:-_ and I am of communication/answer/reply:_"\_ Humans of policing/military live of:_[\_ slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles since of sense/sensation of communication/text/speech of computer program software of words of anything/everything/eachthing of human of slackening/tensing of muscles of earlier and later of slackening/tensing of muscles. _/]_:-_ _/"_:-_ .

I want of sureness of I am of communication of reality/life/now so I am of communication of text of:_"-\_ pic of galaxy of:_"\_ Milky Way _/"_:-_ of map of human/embassy/base/matter-ta-war of since/so/cause of human of living of military of nation of:_"\_ United States _/"_:-_ of:_"\_ 13:41/1:34:02 of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvumYlnLXy8 _/"_:-_/-"_:-_ .
I want ta be sure of communication of reality/life so I am of communication of text of humans of nation of:_"\_ Republic of Korea _/"_:-_ of north Korea of want of babies of living of other-than/not/no/ain't harmed of body-movement/like-sensation. _/"_:-_ .

>>670778846
Thanks anon I hope it helps too. I just need to last for however long it takes for Medicaid to get accepted and kick in and then I'll finally be able to rest for a bit before deciding what to do with the shattered remains of my life which the therapist can probably help with. I can't give up and die here damn it I've suffered to long to give up in the final stretch.

>>670779774
what?

>>670779774
What the fuck?

>>670779948
Never seen this rare pepe

>>670780016
if you dont understand this, you dont understand life

>>670778846
Also, what should I do if the opportunity to talk to her again does come up?
Would it be weird to randomly send her a message over face book?

Its 7am here and just came back from work, and not getting even 1k/month, while living expenses on rent and bills is about 500, add food to that and i'm saving 300€ at most every month, and I feel drained the whole day because of the shift.
And they are making me work 10hours this sunday for free, except the first two hours.

Shit I signed for 36hr a week not fucking 50

Hope things get nicer to you in the future man

>>670780098
its the rarest pepe of them all..

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>>670780275

>>670779371
I don't even know anymore.

>>670779847
>Medicaid
You're gonna learn a lot of things you don't wanna know about Medicaid Anon.

You've gotta have hardly any assets except like 1 car and how they can "Clawback" the home $$$ if it's sold or willed. I think you've got to put it in 5 years before she goes into a home.

Check out your States Medicaid.

>good luck Anon

>>670773313
learn to crop you fag

>>670778854
The only advice I could give you is, spend your time with researching your disability and medicins.

>>670779050
7 here now, I will go try to sleep again tho. So good luck with your feels, anons.

>>670779174
There is in fact a 50% chance you will recieve a fatal dose, also for kiddo's.

>>670779310
>>670780230
Her perception was different from yours, and while apologizing and telling how you feel isn't something bad, you don't need to write her a long, sad letter.
If you indeed were good friends, it's not weird to send her something on facebook, asking to get a drink sometime. Then you could also casually apologise.

>>670779698
Well, I also got my first outbreak some time ago. Got it from a virgin, who had asymptomatic hsv-1. Haven't been with someone else yet, but I don't know how to deal with it either. Did you have sex with her during an outbreak?

>>670779847
No, don't give up. If it helps, think about your mother. She wouldn't have wanted it to be this way, and definitely not for you to give up after this.

>>670779774
what the actual fuck
if you are trying to communicate something important, and you think there will be 1 smart guy who will figure it out.. you came to wrong place..

>>670780752
>Thanks OP. I'm way ahead of you on that one.

>know more than I want to about this shit

>>670780752
Thanks.
Unfortunately, like I mentioned, she doesn't have a single digital fingerprint, with the exception of her immediate family.

Anyone have comfy pepes? The ones indoors with hot chocoloate or someting?

>>670780752
You must have misread me I said I've come too far to give up now not that I was going to give up. I've still got some fight left in me.

My best friend since 9th grade (I'm a college sophomore now) started dating my ex girlfriend three weeks after we split. We had been together for 3 years, and she dumped me the day before new years. I haven't been the same since. Life is good

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moving out soon out of my shithole town

>>670781270
You could contact her parents if they knew you.

Everyones life is shit. The only girl I want to spend my life with lives half the country away and has cancer.

>>670781510
Yes, don't ever lose that.

>>670781717
No they didn't, but I did manage to find some of her friends.
Maybe something could happen there.

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>frogs
nah

>>670781540
I'm glad you're happy about it all

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>>670781431

>>670782526
that's not comfy and you know it

>>670782655
There's sweaters, hot cocoa, and even cookies.

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Tfw broke up with my gf of 2 years 3 weeks ago and I can't get any grills now but it seemed so easy to get puss and chicks seemed so thirsty when I was dating a girl

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kinda feel rn

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My life to this point

> Be born into middle class family
> Grow up around old people because mom and grandma work at private senior homes
> Grow up using imagination and listening to stories from the elderly
> Don't have many friends my age
> Best friend is an 85 year old dude named Robert
> Robert was a WW2 vet
> Told me about where he grew up and gave me his life story
> ForrestGump.jpg
> Finally come of age to go to school
> Go to school on native reservation (tulalip elementary)
> Be white
> Native kids don't like me cuz of jet puffed skin
> No friends
> Only get to go to seniors home on weekends now
> Thing I look forward to every week
> Hang out with Robert
> Robert starts talking about life a lot more
> Tells me to always follow my dreams and stuff
> Says I've been a great friend to him
> Didn't think of it much at the time cuz I was only 5
>Come back next weekend
> Excited to hang out with Robert
> Roberts not in his room
> Room is empty
> Ask grandma where Robert is
> "Anon, Robert passed away monday."
> MyHeart.feels
> Cry cuz only friend is gone
Cont. ??

thx anons for these dank pepes

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>>670783388
yes please

>>670763068
Took a really hard hit financially a couple months back but I'm starting to get all the peices together again. Working at some bullshit fast food restaurant currently but I have a guaranteed position at a much better place come April. Also got another job offer that might pay more not sure which direction to go as far as that is concerned.
Got a couple girls I might hit up in the meantime but I might hold off on girls until I go to the RSD hot seat in July.

I also can't sleep since weeks.
Everytime when I start falling asleep I suddenly get some kind of anxiety attack, it feels like I can't breath and about to siffocate.
My heart starts beating faster and I get a weird pain in my left shoulder, the worst thing however is that I don't know the cause for all of this.

>>670776077

so many think they know
but they don't

Half of you just need to realize how minuscule your problems are and get the fuck on with your lives.

>>670783991
d'aww whats the matter hunny would you like a kiss to make you feel better?

I feel like I'm living life because everybody else wants me to. I always succeeded academically and got into a good college because everybody else would smile at me and presume that I was a good person if I did. It's what got other people to leave me alone.
Now that I'm out of college, I don't can't really find any reason to live, as all these years I've been living for everybody else.

The first girl to show any interest in me in a very long time shot me down after I made an ass of myself while drunk.

Should I beg and do the whole "that's not the real me" thing at the risk of looking clingy or pissing her and our mutual friends off and having them leave too, or just accept the fact that I fucked up and I'm back at square 1?

>>670783991
anxiety and panic attacks, talk to a psychiatrist that can medicate you.

Been in bed for hours, still feel wide awake. Starting to get hungry now. Can't get my insomnia under control at all anymore. Unable to function like a normal person. Tried everything. It's been years now.

>>670784420
are you a qt grill?

My life isn't worth talking about.

Hope everyone ITT lives good, long, happy lives.

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>>670784795
yes pic is me irl

>>670784826
You too, anon. You too.

>>670784680
>"that's not the real me"
that's bullshit. everything you do is the real you

>>670784948
k c'mon to ma place bby

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Loneliness is the worst feeling in the fucking universe. I'm a fairly social guy with lots of friends and a loving family but I don't appreciate any of it because I feel alone. It's not just because I don't have a girl or whatever, but because the friends I do have are all shit. Last year I was a junior and all my friends were seniors, this year I'm a senior (I'm 18) and all my friends went away to college. I fucking hate this shitty town in the middle of fucking nowhere. A girl would help considerably but in the meantime I'm on this dumb website posting a picture of a frog as a cucumber.

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>>670784826
please tell me you average day

>>670784794
have you tried massage

>>670784826
I think we all feel and wish for the same thing.

>>670785120
I get that, anon. I've always built these walls around myself keeping people out, but in the end all I want is somebody to hold and for somebody to love me. All you can do now is to make the best of yourself. Get out, meet new people. You never know who you'll find.

I'm a mexican guy
I work from 8am to 7pm
I take breakfast at 9 or 10am, in my desk, while doing work
I eat again from 2pm to 3pm
then leave the office by 7pm, sometimes later, sometimes sooner, but never before 6:30pm
then I choose whether to go to the gym, go to sleep or see my gf
usually, I go to sleep
because I'm tired as fuck
this repeats from monday to friday
saturday I only work from 9am to 1pm
then go home, wait for my gf, we fornicate and then she leaves
on sundays we eat lunch and fuck afterwards
repeat this for 8 years straight nonstop
pretty boring shit
but...

the lights of my life are:
a cute coworker who seems to love me secretly
> we flirt a lot, but never seriously, well, it's mostly me who teases her
> but she does reply and we always leave room for doubt...
> and we're probably waiting for the other to make the first move
> but I have a gf and she says I'm not her type
> and we're both 28, but I think we both enjoy the little game

a cute ex gf who contacted me the other day to what seemed to me like a booty call
> haven't seen her in like 12 years
> been postponing our little adventure for one month already
> because I'm not ready
> well, I am
> but I don't wanna hurt my gf

and a cute french online friend
> has daddy issues
> hasn't replied to me in like 2 weeks

never really shared this story with anyone
don't know why I did it here
but ask away if you wanna know more

>>670785055
Dubs confirm truth, but I like to think I'm generally a better person than I was on the night I was the most drunk I've been in years.

Anyone slowing starving themselves? I haven't eaten breakfast in maybe 2 years I eat a sandwich for lunch and then a chicken breast with so side dish for dinner, I've slowly gotta used to my stomach constantly rumbling and demanding food but it's one way I can tell I'm still alive.

>>670783388
Cont.

> Go back to school few days later
> Have nothing to look forward to on weekends
> No friends = no one to play with
> Try playing by myself on playground
> #Imagination
> Get made fun of for having no friends
> Grew up around mostly women
> Sensitive
> Start to cry
> More kids join
> Name calling ensues
> No one sticks up for me, not even teachers
> Go home crying
> This continues all the way to 4th grade
> Depressed loner at 8
> Mom has developed a drinking habit over the years because she became a bartender
> Mentally abused starting at age 6
> Lose all self confidence and sense of wonder in the world
> Grandma always protected me
> Eventually grandma had to move to take care of great grandma
> Moved 2 states away
> Stranded with mom
> No one to hold her back
> Begins to get into more serious shit like heroine, meth, etc
> Gone for days at a time
> Miss out on school, way behind everyone else
> Mom stops by once every few days to hurt me
> Slap, kick, degrade, etc
> Attempt suicide at 8 by mixing pills with alcohol mom left around
> Throw up and wake up next morning
> Mom takes me to school so she doesn't get cops on her
> Kids have been waiting
> Recess comes along and almost immediately all kids in the school team up to pick on me
> TFW getting made fun of by first graders
> Get backed into a corner
> Kids make fun of me and begin kicking and throwing shit at me
> Goes on non stop for almost 20 mins.
> Finally decide to stick up for myself
> Scrawny boy me stands up and tries to act all tough
> Gets decked in the face by some big fucker named James
> Bloody nose and busted lip
> Torment increases 10 fold
> Recess finally ends and kids go back to class
> I'm in fetal position on playground crying
> Want to die
> Go home later and scrounge for whatever food is left in the house
> Haven't eaten in a few days
Cont.

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Feel pretty shitty to be honest anons

My girlfriend keeps being fuckin sketchy
wont let me see her social media
ha Im not even in her social media anymore.
No pictures of me recently
She doesn't mention to anyone she has a boyfriend from what i've seen
She doesnt post me anywhere or anything about me
weve been dating for two fucking years
People still fucking hit on her because she doesnt let them know she has a boyfriend.
She's real secretive about shit
She keeps giving me yellow flags about her
I say yellow because some shit is there but i cant fuckin catch it.

My parents gave up on me my mom got me arrested
My dads in jail because he's a rapist
My brother doesnt even have my phone number saved in his fucking phone
i have three friends
One is a single fuck
two is a beta hopeless romantic who thinks all women are bullshit when they mostly are so i can give him credit
Three has a three year old and a relationship that is just waiting to crumble

I dont know what to do
I keep looking for jobs everyone seems to turn me down because some dumb fuck fills the position when i have a lot of customer service experience which alot of employers look for

Im on probation for two years because my mom called the cops about me dealing and selling weed when i was seventeen
Cant even drive because florida will suspend your license for smoking a blunt

all i have left is a half bottle of sailor jerry and some people i talk to that work at the gas station up the road

I dont know what to do im seriously contemplating suicide or enlisting

I have kinda just... given up on hope...

>>670786100
i've been listening to these fucks to keep me sane.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MiGhPqQGt-A

>>670785386
Yeah it's weird I feel lonely and I have this voice in my head telling me I'm a weirdo that won't find love, but at the same time I know there's someone out there for me. I know I'll find love. It's kept me fairly positive.

>>670786100
I used to be in a similar situation, what worked for me was just getting away from all the bullshit. I saved up a couple hundred bucks, and just took a road trip across the U.S. Co pletely forgot about everyone I knew and wandered around for about a week. One of the best experiences of my life.

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>>670763068

Im 42

>disabled with PTSD and Autism
>have severe depression
>have family that needs me
>would an hero but family

Here is a pic I just made using linux paint. A brand new PEPE never before seen on the net.

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>>670785666
didn't notice satan trips
hell, not even that gives me any relevance
i've been always bad at telling stories
that's why I don't do it
I guess

>>670786624
I honestly wanna get my drug test done and over with because ive been clean for like 11 months

Then find good acid
Take a tab or two and just wander in the woods all day and night.