ITT we share the greatest Greentexts of all time
Bump
>>670612101
This thread is pretty quiet
>>670614460
>>670614795
Just zoom in on it, dumbass.
>>670614983
Since you're going to be an asshole about it, now I'm not.
Theres more
>>670616032
>>670615220
Nobody cares whether you read it or not shit wad.
It's not his fault that you're a fucking idiot.
>>670616229
>>670616381
>>670616032
Did this guy ever tell the rest of this story? I read most of his green text pretty sad shit but fucking hilarious
>>670616506
>>67061668
I have most of it but 404'd when i came back from busting a nut
>>670616146
holy fucking shit im gonna die laughing
get help pls someone
>>670617032
>>670617152
>>670617152
I think he is legitimately retarded
>>670616930
I hope it wasn't to the green text
>>670617341
>>670617403
im fucking lovin it man.
>>670614460
Jesus christ, I cried from laughter.
>>670614460
Best green text I've ever read.
>>670617478
1/2
>>670617655
2/2
>>670614907
I Read through that whole thing and it was worth it, fuck that was good.
>>670617652
>>670617152
>I keep yelling "wow fuck you guys"
My sides
>>670618077
>>670618176
>>670618565
>>670618701
Last shot i took
>>670618017
>>670616481
dude im crying, my sides.
>>670618779
Yeah that's where he abandoned the thread then I just 404d we will never know if he got downy boob>>670618838
DOES HE GET THE DOWNY BOOBY SOMEONE PLEASE SAY THEY GOT IT
>>670619241
Nope he never replied and I'm pretty sure it wasn't take because he shows is the nude he sent the hot chick
>>670619446
no fucking way.
he showed cp ?
Not green text but pretty fucking great
>>670618779
pls no, i must know if he got the boob
my fucking sides
>>670614460
Quality post
>>670619684
Technically yes?
>>670613204
holy shit, fuckin dying over here.
>>670617655
>>670617708
holy fucking shit, my sides or my feels, i cant
>>670618701
What the fuck is wrong with this guy? He seems very aware of how retarded he is, so it doesn't make sense. This is fucking with my mind.
>>670614983
>implying everybody is lurking on a phone
>>670622646
Implying command + doesn't exist
>>670622646
>right click
>zoom
alternatively
>control s
>magnify app
Are you retarded? or just a newfag to this whole "technology" thing?
It's really compressed to fit on /b/ but you can still read it.
>>670622646
hold ctrl and scroll ur mouse wheel or hold shift and press + key next to backspace.
love you anon
>>670622786
TROLD
>>670618017
fucking top kek holy shit.
worth it/10
>>670617655
>>670617708
.....I am so done
I was going to post my own greentexts but fuck it I'm just going to cry myself to sleep
I came here to be entertained, not to feel
Fuck you, man, fuck you
>>670621126
Most people with autism are aware that they are strange. And with age they can learn to control it. It's why you see so few adult high functioning autists, they blend in. If an adult uses autism as an exuse for their misbehavior they're being a jackass, simple as that
>>670624150
I remember my first time on /b/
>>670612101
Not greentext, but...
>>670623974
>Ethnicity/Purity
>>670625169
Why is this so depressing?
>>670625453
Good one man
>>670615035
Legit laughed out loud at this.
>>670625169
Imagine how the other guy felt seeing his card thrown away. He spent his own money to make that shit. Heartless anon the least he could have done is tossed it out at his house.
>>670615528
jesus fucking christ man
>>670622786
>>670622867
>>670623117
samefag got baited hard
There has got to be more. Where the fuck are the good ones at?
>>670622986
God tier, this is 98% of techfags on Earth
>>670622986
>google ultron
best greentext ever
>>670615035
He did warn them.
>>670623974
>Jew? Hope not
>Single ready to Mingle ;)
>Sluttiness
>all around Bombshell can`t wait for cummies
My fucking sides
>>670632554
its a gif, no way im clicking that shit
>>670632633
pussy
>>670614907
>hey hey we're the monkeys
>>670632554
>.gif
>>670612101
>>670633035
Worth it
>>670632633
lol, i didnt even notice until i read your post. Its safe btw
>mfw you probably still wont open it
>>670634090
>worth the read
>>670633035
classic women. if I had done that to my bros friends it would be the greatest thing ever.
>>670633530
no, i wont, my pussy wont let me
>>670616481
anyone have sauce on that finnish guy's pic?
>>670629868
Fucking always gets me man.
>>670615390
TopfuckinfgKek
>>670612101
How to hack into a hot girl brain by using Facebook guide
Requisites:
A computer + internet conn
Smart sociopath behavior
Being at least 3/10 (this means not completely hideous)
>collect at least 10 pictures of a male model and reverse mirror them so stupid google can't reverse search
>make a fake facebook with the pictures of the male model + some pictures of mansions, cars and top tier travel destinations
>choose a local target but pretend to be far away
>start adding target's friends
>try to speak with your target's friends at least a little, keep adding and get accepted as much as you can
>after a week or so go for your target she will see you have friends in common and will probably add you
>talk, talk and talk, ask her about her life, her problems, give her solutions, make yourself look smart, comprehensive, loving, caring, faithful, etc... became her prince charming
>after a few weeks grow balls and talk to her by phone
MILESTONE 1: now you have a genuine hot girl to sexy and dirty talk with for FREE
>your target will be pretty horny at this time, so you can ask for nudes, you can also send her pics of your nasty real dick if you want
MILESTONE 2: Now you have nudes of a hot girl and she saw your dick
>keep talking create a bound, be her confident, create maximum thrust, you'll see how easy is to talk with girls when they think you are rich and handsome
>tell her you are going to her location and set a date in a public place
>go there and watch her and enjoy like the perv you are
>day after, when she is super mad that "you didn't go" tell her you have a secret to confess, you are not that good looking guy and those are a friend pictures
>at this point your target brain should be hacked and really bond into you no matter how you look you can get her if you are smart enough
MILESTONE 3: you got to meet her IRL, if you are super smart you can get her pussy and if you are a social genius you can get her to date with you
>>670637242
Ahahaha
Bullshit
>>670637242
i tried this and now mydick is stuck in my sink
>>670620196
this fiction sucks cooites/10 irl people are at bars to get laid not win political points
>>670633735
>2/8 the speed of light
>what is 1/4
Whoever wrote this sounds like an uneducated American.
>>670621781
idiot semen has neglible protien content. most of its glucose, food for the swim team
>>670626543
motherfucker, i just laughed in front of my boss
>>670623974
>tan but hope not a spick
>>670637242
>Hi! Im that weirdo from internet who spend hours by creating a fake profile, stalking you and lying to you becase reasons. Here is my real name so date me instead of calling police.
Iam no expert, but this seems 100% legit.
>>670634090
I certainly hope this is real, because this was a magical story and I hope the second half of my bachelor's degree will be half as good as this.
>>670634090
JUSTICE BONER
I want to learn to cook too now
>>670639709
>>670637016
>booby trap
>>670639795
bullshit shit b8
try again with more believable reaction. No gourp of people become radically opposed to a rando in that short amount of time and then coordinate an attack.
>>670613204
Holy shit im dying
>>670640359
totally worth the read
>>670614460
holy shit lifting buddy is a legend
Ayyy lmao
>>670623974
>daniel is clearly gay and isnt satisfying her needs
Spoken like a true basement crawling neckbeard
>>670614460
jesus lord humongous shit
fucking worth reading
>>670614460
this is why i keep having hope in this place
>>670638166
11/10 anon
>>670617883
has anyone got a better cap of this? i think it happened recently and i missed it.
>>670618017
Written by someone who's never taken lsd. It's nothing fucking like that.
>>670612441
Kek
>>670629868
gold
>>670612101
requesting the greentext of fast food/restaurant guy that told his story with fat hysterical woman eating all the food stocks every night
>>670645720
looks like the length of an average reddit comment lol
I don't want this thread to die
>>670644902
or who got sold some shit RC
>>670646311
MOARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>>670615220
This .gif should say "Couldn't Read"
>>670647209
Different anon but similiar stuff
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k
>>670643618
Wake me up inside
mkay
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want me to unleash my stack?
This was a good thread OP
Shall i continue?
>>670648680
Fuck yesh
>>670618017
How would they have known what he was doing before he went downstairs?
>>670648952
As a starter ... apple juice.
>>670648680
Oh fuck I died laughing
>>670619789
Classic.
>>670649272
classic but gold.
>>670623974
>babe book
>>670649350
shit repost... sry didnt see.
have the banana dick with big apologies.
>>670648680
No, because you're a faggot.
faggots who post "cont?" at the end of shit should die
>>670649393
this one probs wasnt posted yet i hope.
>>670649458
Well i am a bored attention whore. What did you expect? Still better than a bored faggot like you.
Bet you would also steal sinks.
>>670649557
>>670649623
>>670649707
>>670649900
>>670650044
>>670650227
>>670650323
>>670650376
>>670650443
>>670649900
>>670650044
The dubs storys definitely godlike obviously.
>>670650659
>>670650713
>>670650773
Last one for today. Hope you enjoy.
>>670614460
Might have been worth the read if OP knew how to fucking write
>>670650954
You mean right, m
>>670615220
Are you a little bitch in real life too?
>>670638307
Hey newfriend.
>>670649459
Moar?
>>670643815
Wow.
>>670638582
>food for the swim team
the sea men
Bump
international house of cock
>>670651643
Profanity?
>>670651978
holy fuck
>>670612101
>>670614460
This is a god damned fucking masterpiece.
>>670614460
Kek saved
>>670637242
i have no words for how fucking stupid this idea is
>>670629868
new favorite right here, saved.
>>670614460
> muhsides
>>670617883
It happened 2 days ago I was gonna make a pic with the screenshots but forgot
>>670626543
best thing in thread
>>670633346
kek
This thread is great, it's entertained me for over an hour while my roommate fucks the girl I've loved since 8th grade. Seriously, they're in the next room. fuck this shit.
>>670655317
Kek
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>>670655317
Story plz?
>>670655530
>Suddenly a brand new epic greenpost appears.
No. Fuck you.
>Housemate fucks girl
>secretly in love with girl long time.
>Hide tears and lurk /b/
fin.
>>670655317
Bust in. Force three way.
>>670615390
reminds me of /b/rad
Ausfag here it's 1:30 in the morning pls don't stop now
>>670637242
Your methods sounds suspiciously similar to Catfishman's. (>>670614907)
>>670638376
Well, you sir, sound like A DICK.
>>670656140
Greetings fellow ausfag.
>>670636300
kek
>>670640359
exceptional read
>>670656391
Obligatory "G'day mate"
>>670649623
Who the fuck gives highschool students hot chocolate? Is that normal in America or is Anon in a school for tards?
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>>670640359
That was beautiful
>>670633434
wow... i cant believe i missed that dime
>>670612441
5/5
>>670629722
my.. fucking.. sides!
>>670660673
kek i bet hes still a douche
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Bump nigger with OC
>>670662921
>>670662998
>>670663079
>>670663194
>>670663259
gunna post until i run out of shit or we hit image limit, whichever comes first
>>670663530
>>670638376
You have missed the point of the story, and made the same mistake they did. We know you are out there, and we are coming for you.