>>670508987
Mine is "you help, but I eat"

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"Happy New Year"

Can you get me some tendies from the shops?

"Hello im back :("

>>670509400
kek

"Okay, get it done quick and come over"

>>670509400
Feels...

>>670508987
"Can we talk?"

>>670508987
"i'll see what i can do"

"I'm going to bed. I feel pretty tired"

"Hahaha, nahh, it's fine its fine.
The shower was right next to me so I got done all that needed to get done (i.e. shaving)"

>>670508987
pic source?

"I've put some mongo stuff on the drive"

"Bye"

>>670509978
this

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>Are you up?

Ironic.
Well, I tried.

>>670508987
Hi could you give me a lift?

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I'm blushing because you said this.

"night. love you"

"No"

"Kek"

>>670508987
When do you get out?

I'm sure its just letting you win
Trust me mirrors are not to be trusted
They always tell me I'm a 8 pushing 9
But in reality I'm a solid 5.5
What series are you watching now?

Ayyo

"Catwoman can lick my asshole"

>>670508987
"My lawyer wrote this"

...

"miss you"

"what do you want from whataburger"

"Alright. Love you, night."

>>670508987
"If other people said retarded shit like you I would slate them as well dumbass"

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>>670508987
I really really really like this image.

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This pic was it

"too far"
i like it

"I'm back safe and sound. I love you, take it easy today, I know your PT is rough."

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>You have brought great honor upon your famiry
>01/04

"Doctor said he'd have to order more tests."

like shit

>>670508987
"Danke!"

>>670508987
"fuck i didnt meant to send tht... jus ignore" typos and sadness included

"I'm at with so masturbation isn't an option"

Maar ik was niet dronken.
(But i was not drunk.)

"I love you too."

>I'll take an 1/4, the money is next to my bed as usual
My roommate is also my dealer, shes just like a fairy, takes my money when I sleep and replaces it with weed

night mom. love u too

Do group chats count? I never speak directly to chicks.

"What the fuck is your problem? You know what, fuck this, I'm done."

we need anything from safeway?

"Ok"

"Yeah"

Early to bed
Early to rise
Smoke so much weed I can't see out my eyes

Lemme see

>>670508987
"Love you too mum"

"GTFO"

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>>670509400
>>670509411
>>670509633

Mi ne povas atendi al vidi via kostumo

>>670508987
"kewl beans"

>>670510933
checked

"they're BASICALLY like mini-wheats, ye?"
We're lazy with breakfast, I had triscuits.

Ye In a bit

"Si"

>>670508987
*will
it was fixing an autocorrect

>>670508987
"I miss you."

I'm gonna go bowling now

kek really

>>670511144
>>670511155
>>670511255
doubles thread? dubs confirms

"Hello me! It's me again, you can subdue, but never tame me"

Because sexting with Megadeth lyrics is always fun.

"See you soon, love."

>"It's right to left then the period at the end, you have it backwards."
I was talking about Hebrew.

You're whalecum

"I'm showering at your place by the way"

Not bad

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>>670508987
"I didn't feel like sleeping."

>>670511290
that's deep bro

>I think I'll start, after I re-make the chat function, by making it automatically post a news story every 3 hours if no one is chatting.

>>670508987
"Is your name with one or two n's?"
rip

>>670508987
I just got out of the shower

"You know what I mean."

Ive never had a number from a girl ...

>>670508987
"Now get naked"

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God natt. Kos kos.
Essentially it means *good night. hugs.* in this context.
It was to my mother and I'm glad I wrote it.

>>670511869

>Aww yiis nigga

"ok"

>>670508987

"Answer the fucking question"

>>670508987

Tired of being alone with my thoughts

"Alright see you here"

DONT RATTLE ME BONES

>>670508987
"where were you when you lost the parking ticket"

it has a kind of mystery to it for future generations to ponder, i think

>>670509400
same here man

>>670508987
"Love u too"

Gravestone is gonna be ass.

oot sit kahelt valmis

>>670508987
Nice, planning on making a orc hacker for next campaign myself

"Shouldn't be a problem"

But good for you!
>we where talking about oatmeal

>>670508987
"Let's just see what happens"

" I'm happy with myself because I'm doing what I feel like I need to do to live not just survive."

>"Go back to the rice fields"

>>670512451
I'm shamed to have it on my gravestone... it has a grammatical error...

Mkay

"Thats pretty hot"
[spoiler]it was in response to a shit ms paint picture there was nothing lewd about it[/spoiler]

"I guess you're already gone. Love you, see you when you come back." An hour ago

"damn alright"

"I love you. Good night und sweet dreams. I hope we will see us again. I know it's hard at the moment but I will always love you"

I should add that she is since 6 years dead

"Kkk"

""

Leaking from both ends - ethnic food, never again

got a 100 on my investment test

"Okay hon <3"

>>670508987
Sent to my wife 2 days ago

>call me

>>670512782
She had left for work before my last class let out

"I do miss you though."

I'll be Lotus, but you don't have to be Moss if you don't want to

>>670508987
"Alright, catch you later"

Not bad, I could do better but that's pretty alright

50 60 gram prob 100 gram tho

Dad wants to know what's for dinner.

Finished my paper, how was class babe?

>>670508987
"I'm coming by for my money"

>>670510682
this

They say i look 14 tho.

For context, no one respects me as a security officer, because I look young. :c

"Yes"

>>670513289
Lol

>>670513289
Better be sammiches or pot roast bitch

>>670508987
cant come today, got time on wednesday

"Ok"

"Anna Banana how are you?"
Weird headstone man.

>>670513335
Bitch better have my money

"Please respond"

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>>670508987
"haha nah it's fine, I thought there was something more but friends it is"

I'm disgusted with myself

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Accidentally misunderstood the message. But here it is.

"Ur scaring me"
Lel

>you have to look into the plastic though

>>670513289
Kek

MODS

>>670513717
U can be 20 and still live with ur parents, fucking tard

-no arguing with that

>>670508987
"There was no opened loaf"

>>670508987

>dick pic

>>670508987
"lmao"

"Cars cannot protect us against spooky-ass cows"

" i dunno, i've been sorta depressed :(

Okay, that'd be good.

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My ex. I stayed up last night just hanging out and talking to him, and left around 6 this morning.

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Don't ask.

"I'm sorry."

>>670508987
I am going for a walk, see ya

>>670514033
Oh yeah and that's my ex if that explains the tone of the convo

>>670508987
What's that?

>I may fucking die
Don't think anything messed up we was just talking about food

Fucking jew

Wtf u mean stop stalkin me?

>>670513579
>autism

>>670508987
"You can just call me on skype you know."

"We leave on a Sunday"
?????

>>670514215
The irony is palpable

Fuck you and goodbye

>>670508987
i want to see your sisters tits.

>>670508987
I love you too.

>>670510681
kanker

"Hello"
:(

"I said everything is in order"

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>>670508987
The last message I sent to my wife, pic related.

"I need smokes"

>>670508987
"let me call my other boss, I'm scheduled on weekends but i should be able to be there"

Seems right.. I work 7 days a week with 2 jobs.

"Well holy moly me oh my
You're the apple of my eye
Girl, I've never loved one like you"

i want to talk to girls im so jelly of u guys

"Nah. No more weekdays. I started school and might get a 2nd job."

>>670509400
Felt

" My dad has fucking diabetes. My grandma jut died from pneumonia caused by diabetes. It's not fucking fair. It doesn't even fucking help that for the last 5 months since my grandmother died, I've been thinking about death and if there is an afterlife...I've been fucking worried if there is even a right religion...I wish I was fucking ignorant and never knew about atheism or history because there's no comfort in death for me anymore when I think about my fate or the fate of others...FML, my dads side was born with shitty genes, so now we're all going to have our lifespans cut down..

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"You started having a fucking shit fit and instead of you being all moody i'm trying to clear it up but it looks like that's not gonna happen so I guess i'm done"

"Yeah"

I just got out of the shower and is now laying in my bed.

>>670512391
Torilla tavataan

the first the same as above the same time. I am a beautifull person who has a lot more to do with the same time as well as the first time in the morning and i have been a long wau to get a free gmail account

>>670508987
My sister asked : can i trouble you to make tea.
I replied : yeah once im dead...

"yeah once im dead" is going on my grave stone

>>670508987
"You gotta cook that hamburger meat it says sell by yesterday."

=/ lol wtf

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I hope you have a good life

>>670508987
"wanna fuck?"

"i got the tiger sauce"

I thought it was a bear...

>>670514997
That's called being socially awkward. Get a life and in a year or two you'll be good. Not kidding though, I used to be awkward af.

"Well, what's bothering you?"

>>670508987
JUST IGNORE THEM YOU FUCKING WHINING TWAT

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"C'mon bruh"

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"If I"ll ever write a book about my life, you'll receive a chapter of your own. (military) Service with you can't be described in less than that".

>>670510091
fucking kek legs

"I am vegan"

>>670508987
maybe i can do it before you work on friday

>>670511891
what language is that?

sounds cool

>>670508987
Hey what's up

>>670515579
Coming from a scientific family, hate to break it to you, but there is physically no way for there to be an afterlife because your consciousness only functions based off of the fundamental principle that your brain can cause impulse signals, and from that, and those physical chemical reactions and interactions, when complicated enough, senses and consciousness are possible.
That's the only reason you can be alive. Thinking there is an afterlife is just as logical as thinking there is a previous life, because in both scenarios, you are defying physics and trying to justify the primitive idea that you don't die when you do, even though we know that within our universe, if you pick up a simple book on theoretical physics, you'll understand that afterlife is a stupid idea made be primitive minds 2000+ years ago that didn't have the scientific understanding to know why an afterlife isn't possible, and why God doesn't need to exist given the explanation to the creation of our universe.

>>670519630
it's swedish

Yo have you transferred the money btw

>>670508987
"At school, ayyyyy

>>670508987
'No'

"damn my new monitor is nice"

Still a bad boy?

"wait i just got that"

"Not going out of my way but the problem resolved itself, he called the hospital and said he'd go up there after awhile."

>>670508987
I'm finished

KEK

"it's OK"

In response to her saying she'd get the beer, and to apologize for the late answer.

Shit you not
"See you there"

Guess what? Chicken butt.

"if you're gonna kill yourself, then i'm gonna kill myself too"

>>670508987
"I like the taste of blood"
That's pretty fucking cool

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>>670519113

What a queer

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>>670508987
GF telling me to fuck our airbnb host for a cheaper price

"Lol"
ok

"Cool, see you than."

>>670509890
kek

"I'll be right back"

I'm happy with this

And then you say "thanks for coming"

>>670508987
"Well, that'd be good too."
Dunno what that's supposed to mean.

>>670521003
She's actually a good friend of mine.
One of the funniest and "evefull" people I've ever known

>>670508987
"I play piano, love to write as well (more so the story side), and lots of other less important things."

nah its 8pm fam

>>670508987
"Do you know that feeling after you finish reading a good book? Sadness, longing for more. That's what I still fell after so many years. Don't worry, I don't want anything. I hope that you're happy with him. I write this for myself, it hurt so much I couldn't sleep and I had to write to you to calm down."

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>>670508987
Sorry, I'm not Chris. You might have got the wrong number.

>>670508987
e-e

Yeah just this emot. And it's so fitting I can't even complain.

>>670510909
underrated

>;-;-;
Wow

>>670508987
"Nice I get to have some Guinness and relax"

>>670508987

>>670508987
Hey we still meeting up and where? If not wanna just talk wednesday

>>670508987
tits or gtfo

"I wasn't hungry the last couple days, so I didn't eat"
Noice

>>670508987
to be perfectly honest i still think we might be better dead off sometimes. js
but im not going to influence you in that regard one way or another

"I want my home T.T"

Glad were at an agreement then

>>670508987
Кк

>>670508987
Don't even remember. It's probably been a year since I had an actual conversation with any of my "friends" online.

"Haha I know, I'm a very simple man"

>>670508987
Nicr

>>670508987
"OK I'll read"

"That ass is fat"

Haha welcome to life

>>670508987
you gonna find me a sauce of this or what?

"where you at? i gotta get those pants and shirt before the day is over"

Football season is over

well thats an empty grafestone..

>>670508987
"Don't worry about it"

Yikes. Yeah, getting better is main priority. Let me know how you feel later.

>>670508987
"As if i was to feel sorry for you !"

>>670508987
''Good night, my all&everything <3''

>>670508987
i gotchu

>>670509101
"I don't know, I wouldn't take such risk."

Lol, "Boobies do help."

>>670508987
Bout to ruin everyone's day:
"I love you too"

K

>message to a female
So... nothing.

>>670508987
Are you bringing just beer or also liquor?

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Stop fucking my dad

>>670508987
ok you fucking african booty scratcher now go buy me some bananas ook ook