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>>670406051
The ability to cause yourself extreme pain

You could move instantly at the speed of light, but your body is subject to the same forces of acceleration and pressure and heat etc as anyone else theoretically moving that fast.

the ability to talk to the dead but not hear what they say

>>670406051

The ability to read other people's minds but you can only do it if you are reading them out loud

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>>670406955
The ability to have your worst nightmares come true

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The ability to roll singles

>>670407299
the ability to read minds, but only your own

>>670407299
That could still be pretty useful.

>>670407299
Actually that could still be useful.

>>670407416
This would improve my life.

>>670406051
if you are mute, It wouldn't be so useless would it?>>670406955
being a masochist? If it brings you pleasure to be in pain, then It's not useless at all faggot
>>670407052
my english is not good enough since it's my native language so I have no idea what the fuck you are saying.. but yeah.. fuck

being able to fuck a bitch forever because you cant nut

The ability to invisiblilty. Except invisible bility ability but only when not ability invisible

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>>670407435
The ability to roll doubles

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>>670408027

THAT'S NOT A USELESS SUPERPOWER

being able to turn yourself into extremely brittle glass

Im a LoL player, this is not art. as a expert LoL player and artist I can say that it will never be art.

professional career history:

2004-2009= expert 2vs2 paladin from dota 2300 league
2009-2010= Perfect World warrior lvl 109 multiple awared in lots of official tournaments
2010-2011=DOTA 2 support partner of professional carrys, winned lots of online tournaments
2011-2016= LoL official carry of a very competitive regional team, working hard to be the best right now

tell me who the fuck are you to talk about it?

>>670406051
check your vocal chords

neat assassin in movie/videogame

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>>670406051

The ability to slow down time.. but only when you're bored.

being able to take a fatal wound, but only once

>>670408222
being good at lol, what a useless power

The ability to contradict yourself at will

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The ability to walk halfway through walls.

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>>670406051
the ability of implying but only when litterallying

>>670406051
The ability to fly but only when confined inside a plane.

Being able to breathe fire, but only when you're underwater.

the ability to have every poop stay in one consistent log/spray

The ability to know everything that's going to happen before it occurs
Except the moment you become conscious of it, the outcome changes

>>670406051
The ability to fly like an emu.

the ability to have biological children being an homosexual

You have a 10 inch dick but it goes 4 inches when you get horny.

the ability to instanly swallow and digest anything you can fit in your mouth but the force of the food going through your system makes you shit yourself instantly aswell

Immortality but permanent vegetative state

Your body doesn't need food but you always feel hungry

Being able to draw really well, but your hands disappear.

Ability to fly, but be terrified of heights

The ability to teleport but only in Nebraska.

The ability to go to sleep.
Go to sleep, /b/.

>>670409341
Kek'd

The ability to have sex with your gf any time you want.

ability to meme, but only in a meme club

>>670408027
nigger tf

ability to charm any women to bed, but you have the worst case of ED

>>670408222
fucking nerd

>>670408191
newfag

You can snort coke by the kilo, but you have no knees.

>>670406051
The ability to have privilege but you aren't aware of it and can't check it.

>>670408544
this is my favorite
and not just because of the sweet ass dubs

>>670409659

So basically just posting on /b/ normally then?

The ability to check everyone's privilege. It doesn't need a requirement. It's already useless

I think we should post an awesome super power and it's up to someone else to make it useless. I'll start:

>X-Ray vision

>>670406051
That-thats not how this game works anon.
you post a superpower, and someone else says a condition that will make having it worthless/painfull/ect.

you have infinite knowledge of the universe but are born with anencephaly

>>670408544
Heh

You have super speed but only on one half of your body

>>670409931
Always is x ray vision.
gives cancer to anything you look at.

White privilege ability but nigger

>>670410024
which half

>>670409931
This is how you play the game.
can turn dogs into solid gold

>>670410152
random half, left or right

the ability to give blowjobs, but only when you are in space

>>670409931
X-Ray only works at men above 130kilos, and age 60+

>>670406051

soundless/stinkless farts

>>670408244
i could make that shit work and make it look badass. bro comes at me with a punch, and i just make myself all bored and i'm like nigga plz you gon get wrekt and then boom bitch i snap out of it and he's like wtf just happened jamal help me pls

>>670410024
PELVIS THRUST!
I'm gonna buttfuck the bajazis outta the woman of ur dreamz

>>670406051
able to change genders but tfw ugly

and who is that thick ass guy in that pic OP

>>670410098
>Being the most attractive man in the world.

>>670410394
left or right not top or bottom

>>670407052
>wear Flash suit
>suit won't catch fire
>keeps body stable
>no friction allowing smooth movement
>built-in inertia stabilizer
...

Being able to turn into a woman, but constantly getting fucked by every man who sees you

>>670410532
i choose right. that's my fappin' hand.

>>670410024
What if he is convinced from being a siamese with some imaginary brother? It will all your own body fast because of being the half of an entire?

Anyone who the passes through the direct opposite side of the world falls in love with you

>>670409931
Only in Nebraska

>>670410439
But you have ebola.

>>670410439
But your a nigger.

Ability to use all the drugs

Being able to fuck every and any woman you want,
but having to get buttfucked while you fuck,
and cum at the same time

>>670410439
But you age 8x normal speed.

>>670410616
Not a bad deal if you're going into it with the intention of being a total slut.

>>670410839
But you can't get high.

>>670410439
But you can't leave Nebraska

you can fly but only backwards

>>670409425
Thats more of a double edged sword

being able to understand every language, spoken or written, but being blind and deaf

The ability to overcome any limit
>game over

>>670408222
Wtf is LoL?

Ability to become Nebraska

>>670410839
But you can only do that in Nebraska

>>670411090
Early version of Skyrim

>>670411166
what the fuck have you done anon,
we are all DOOOOOOOOMED

>>670409612
Ha useless to lonely people I get it

>>670406051
You post your desired Superpowers

responders post nullifying modifiers


>Example
My superpower is the ability to see and walk through bathroom walls

response modifier: It pnly works at truck stops

another response mod: it only works from inside a bathroom toward the outside

Winning mod: Your balls reduce in number each time the superpower is used

epic win: You balls Increase in number and size everytime its used

>>670411166
But you have to be in Nebraska

Being able to teleport, but only from where you are currently to where you are currently.

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>>670409612
I wish I had this power, since she won't have sex with me ecause she's a virgin and "not ready"

>>670410313
If you were a healthcare professional I don't see how that's useless

>>670411501
Wait wut?

>>670406051
The ability to metabolize astatine-210.

>>670411587
You can teleport, but only to the place where you are.

How about the ability to turn your body invisible, but only when you are in the women's restroom, girls locker room or showers or just around nude girls, plus only your penis doesn't turn invisible

>>670408222
>professional career history

Doesn't count when you are located in your parent's basement

Ability to fly but only into active volcanoes.

>>670411429
They don't understand. Speak to them as you would a child.

the ability to simultaneously start and corrupt an B thread style by forgetting the essential part

Most of these aren't "superpowers"... they would just be considered weird and useless abilities, like recovring from a wound slightly faster than normal. Whatever you do still needs to be "super".

this ability to not be a faggot OP, only when you commit acts of faggotry

>>670406051
Invulnerable to the second bulllet.

Exoman - can turn his skeleton invisible.

>>670411972
op ruined thread by allowing B to modify their own superpower instead of anon

/thread

how about the ability to summon any gun ever made out of thin air, only in a sword shop

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>>670408027
rephrase pls

>>670408027
le lul

the ability to shit diamonds while you have to eat shit from females

>>670412233
Still useful ya dingus.

the ability to see through women's clothes, only when you are naked

>>670409304
Fuck em while flaccid

>>670409469
What sort of heights are we talking here? Like can I just use it to fly close to the ground?
I'd be perfectly okay with that.

Wolverine claws without the healing

The ability to overcome any limit

the ability to make any women cum only when your dick is inside but you can only cum outside,
so if you cum inside she doesn't orgasm

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>>670410616
Ummmm....

Ability to have sex with women but never fall In love

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>>670412655

>>670412406
This would be fucking useful

>>670412740
But only in Nebraska

>>670412902
Boohoo faggot

>>670410616

the ability to turn into a women, but you get fucked by women who then grow a penis when they are in an 8ft radius near you

>>670407213
Depending on your beliefs, everyone already has this

Ability to check for quads but never get them

>>670409333

Instant energy.

Eat on the toilet, save a shit ton of time.

Get Swole in MINUTES BRAH.

Can speak any language but you have autism

>>670413317
Well you already have autism, how many languages can you speak?

>>670409425
Just because i dont need it doesnt mean i cant have it.
>can work with this

>>670408544
Hide halfway in the wall

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>>670408027

>>670409519
kek

>>670409788
Here come ol' Flattop

>>670412233
That's really not a useless power at all, considering you can buy or open a sword shop yourself.
You could just summon a fuck-load of cartel guns that have solid gold on them, sell them, and have more than enough money to start a chain of sword shops at all the locations you'd ever want to travel to.

Having the ability to fuck an alien (sexy alien), only when you get have job in the government

>>670412545
You aren't allowed to enjoy it

>>670410024
What if it was the middle half? Like, 1/4 on your left and right side is normal, but you can fling yourself with the insides of your feet and your pelvic area? Like. Dry humping at super speeds

>>670413027
>>>670412740 (You)
>But only in Nebraska
I get to overcome that limit. So anywhere.

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The ability to telepathically hack any system still using Windows 3.

The ability to teleport anywhere instantly, but you use up the same amount of energy in that instant as if you'd walked there

>>670413456
The language of love but only your mum listens

The ability to be as fat as you want and still be healthy

Thee ability to speak muslim, only when you have a bomb on you and in the white house

>>670412542
>>only when you're naked
I see nothing useless about this.

>>670409129
Not useless/10 would make things easier

>>670411016
I think I have this superpower.

>>670409341
Get sweet robo legs dude. You can be The prosthetic pulverizer.

>>670413813
You will never get rid of Nebraska. It will follow you wherever you go. Also stalking you in the shadows. Ready to pounce at any moment and rip your limitless dick off.

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>>670414058

the ability to have sex public, but have other women who see get into the action until all women cum 69 times, and only people over 80 are not affected so can call the cops, everyone else can do nothing about it

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>>670406051
i can heat up cold air between my hands if i focus hard enough its pritty cool but very useless as i cant hold it for very long i hold my hands like in the pic

>>670408222
>winned lots

>>670413877
If this was DOS, it would be useful. Some places still run things on DOS, purely because of generic old machinery that doesn't have any need for Windows.

Windows 3 though, heck I think the earliest Windows I've seen someone using is Windows XP.

>>670414577
so I can have super orgy as long as old fags dont call cops,
how is this bad

>>670409174
Underrated post

>>670411735
How fast would the teleportations be?
Because you can just spam the teleport ridiculously fast and dodge a bullet potentially.

>>670414779
im sorry,
what is emu again i forgot

>>670414779
Nah. Just not that funny.

>>670414867
emus run lol

how about the ability to get bitches and money, but have to cut off dick

>>670406051
The ability to psychically influence the opinions of beans and other legumes

All of a sudden, you just this second become the absolute best Modern Warfare 2 online player of all time

>>670410614
Those don't exist though.

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>>670410614
It was me anon, I posted the banana

Invisibility when no one is looking

the ability to make in-animate objects come to life but if you cum on them every hour to stay that way, so take a doll for example if i cum on it once and then let it give a blowjob every hour, it can stay alive

The ability to gain all the knowledge of college professors, but only within gender studies department.

Has Magic Johnson's abilities during sex

The ability to far nerve gas that's only toxic to yourself

>>670415468
Thanks Kel

Kek.

Being able to freeze time, but if you touch something everything goes back to real time

Ability to stop bullets but only at exactly 12 am down to the second

cum on anons what are opinions of some of these i would like to know,
some seem shit to me but there are a few i wouldn't mind having, what about /b/?

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>>670409129

Have the ability to teleport
anywhere in the world.
Arrive at new location with
total amnesia that lasts
for 24 hours.

bacon vision, only when you see your mom get fucked by a nigro

are we just making them up i thought this thread would be full of people with weird ability like myself i was very wrong

>>670413162
Yes annon, good call.

The ability to download all the CP you want, without fear of law, but only at 33.6 kbps

>>670409155
That would cause brain damage. Fuck, just thinking about it hurts my head.

>>670408222
Dota 2 was released in 2012. The 2011 version was a beta version and no tournaments were made. Liar confirmed + u have the ability to be trustfull but only un /b (useless)

>>670412740
Other than the boundary limits of Nebraska

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The ability to breath under water but you can't swim.

>>670413881
That's really not that useless, it doesn't take much to get your energy back, especially if you're carrying food and supplements.

It's like a slightly less convenient version of the powers from Jumper.
All it would take is walking up to somewhere with lots of gold/money, teleporting inside the vault and stealing it, and then teleporting back out, and now you can very easily afford whatever it takes to get your energy back.

You save a shit-load of time, because rather than spending time doing two things (traveling and then eating/resting to get your energy back) you're simply just getting your energy back.

The best way to render this ability useless would be, you can teleport anywhere, but you use up the same amount of energy in an instant as if the worlds fattest, most unhealthy person had done the walking.

>>670416127
I can wake up in Japan in 24 hours? Worth it. It's just a plane flight I can't remember

>>670408244
This would be great, I'm bored about 70% of the time anyways

>>670407299
Become a mind reader? Get your own television show, and then generate profit as you prove disbelievers wrong and read their minds perfectly to the crowd. Become the second coming of Jésus and spread evil around the world.

>>670416173
Just leave that shit running 24/7, you'll get to enjoy it eventually.

Invisibility but only when your alone

You know every secret within the universe but nobody will believe anything you say and even if you have valid proof everyone will accuse you of cheating.

>>670409788
They call me steve the stiff

>>670416767
You just described schizophrenia from their point of view

>>670416217
thanks I like this ability
feels niceeee

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the girl you love finally starts to like you
>you have to wake up

>>670416757
You could loot stores when they're closed.

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>>670411429
> ITT: useless superpowers
Please explain what you think ITT means. Could it possible be the theme for the thread? And could that theme possibly be useless superpowers? I don't recall reading a line about anything other than useless superpowers.

>>670416984
Betafag

>>670410024
Still could be useful when it comes to kickball or baseball

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>>670416767

The ability to stop a bullet once

>>670417000
The ability to be this guy

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>>670410675

>>670411146
But you have to gag on a thousand nigger cocks to do it

>>670417082
dont think i would pick the lower half speed down there isent a good thing