>>669985758
hmm when i cried because i got a bad grade

>>669985758
Trying to explain that the reason my uniform was creased was that the Ghost had flipped its shit and thrown everything in my bedroom around 10 minutes before I was supposed to leave for school.

>>669985758
Gay nigger porn was found on my computer.

pissed myself twice in one day

>>669986482
Yeah, I did this too. In front of like 20 people. I had to move school

File: weh.png (4 KB, 148x119) Image search: [Google]

4 KB, 148x119

>>669985758
i got caught fucking a dog i brought to school in my backpack in the bathroom, then got expelled

some asshole said i sucked his dick (middle school)

i use to skateboard so my shoes would get holes so i put duck tape on the hole bitchy teacher said don['t you care what people think about you...no since i haven['t seen anyone since high school

>>669986482
did this too

File: image.png (359 KB, 640x693) Image search: [Google]

359 KB, 640x693

>>669987274
you did what?

>>669986482
>>669987176
i cried infront of my whole wrestling team in 8th grade when the coach gave someone else the title of co captain when he gave it to me the day before

>>669985758

Someone quite by chance had the opportunity to take a picture of my small penis. This was before the internet.

Everyone made fun of it and critiqued it. One girl who was into making t-shirts make a bunch of t-shirts of the picture which people would wear under there regular clothes and lift up when my back was turned.

I was blissfully unaware at the time but it is the reason i will never be on face book or any other social networking site.

Got caught fapin in the restroom by couple of bullys.couldn't go back to school anymore.

Had some dude pull my shorts down during wrestling practice on penis inspection day so I wasn't wearing underwear.

>>669987737
>penis inspection day
plz tell me you mean a weigh in right?

Smoked my first bong at lunch first time smoking
after break it were crosscounrty running got lost threw a whitey sick allover my clothes found by half of team and teacher laid on floor
it sucked

File: 2.png (114 KB, 258x217) Image search: [Google]

114 KB, 258x217

I had to give a speech about a topic and cried in front of the class because I've never done public speaking of any kind before in my life

>>669987737
There was penis inspection day at your school? Really?

i got bullied by the football team because i was small.

the worst episode was when they held me against the wall in the changing room and one of them fingered my ass and then told everyone i loved it.

the terrible truth was that i did love it.

>>669987987
i did too, then i started to not care about my life then speech became easy cuz no fuks given

Cried because I got a bad grade, on my left was my buddy and on the other side a girl which liked me, she slowly left

I got caught masturbating in class

>>669987866
>>669988040
We have those too in my country

forgot to put my dick away after a piss

>>669988248
i remember my first penis inspection day. they never tell you about it before.
i ended up next to a boy that had pubic hair and he laughed at my little penis.

File: 1449168241643.jpg (196 KB, 1000x1000) Image search: [Google]

196 KB, 1000x1000

>>669988329

>>669987597
>being a faggot to the point where you wear t-shirts with dick on it
>having a little dick to the point where people print it on a t-shirt

I had to give a 15 minute talk in front of my class at school on a subject of my choice as part of my final grade that year. Didn't prepare anything and the bell rung when my name was about to be called. I'm thinking 'phew'. Nope. 'Anon you're next, we can just about fit you in'. 'Uhhhh sir I hav...'. 'I don't care'.

Okay then. Get up. Talk about how I've slowly become more and more addicted to video games. Holw to begin with it was for fun. Then I started learning nade spots in CoD4. I went fucking deep. All from the top of my head. Voice was nervously shaking the entire time.

Anyway, got a B. Nobody laughed. The room was just silent when I finished. Could have been worse but that's all I got.

Demonstrating how to do situp in front of class and farted.

>>669988329

Why did this happen? It seems particularly cowardly to keep striking someone in the face when they are lying prone on the ground.

Girl was teasing me in front of a crowd, started throwing bits of wrapper at me and by pure automatic reaction I punched her right in the face.

Never experienced anything like that before or since - I went into blind rage and my body just sort of took over.

Anyway, even though she was one of those butch fuckers built like a brick shithouse, I was still the dickhead who punched a girl. She milked it for all it was worth claiming that she was just minding her own business and I suckerpunched her. Never lived it down the entire time I was at that school.

>>669985758
In health class, I dropped a model of a vagina and it broke into a bunch of pieces. But I tried to catch it before it fell and it slammed against the teacher's desk extremely loudly.

In year 9, i was beta,shy didnt have many friends, half our year are waiting outside mpc, there are puddles everywhere, bully of the year n his mate decide to mess with me, grab me n start swinging me over a puddle, 1,2,3 they toss me into it in front of everyone, im covered in mud n water, everyone burst out laughing, i. Walk away as quick as i could almost crying, had to go to lost n found office n wear mismatched shoes n pants from there for the rest off the day.

>>669988425

>>being a faggot to the point where you wear t-shirts with dick on it

Kids are cruel

>having a little dick to the point where people print it on a t-shirt.

It was flaccid but you play the hand you are dealt.

>>669988578
supine, not prone

>>669988406
What country's schools do penis inspections?

>>669985758
I tried to shoot up the place but only got like 4 injured and one kill, and they dropped shit loot

>>669987866
Britbong here, I remember my first penis inspection day the teacher was really helpful and showed me how to clean my foreskin and get into all the really tricky places.

>>669988841
>supine

Ha, I didn't know the difference. Then again I didn't go to school that much since it became a such source of embarrassment and shame.

>>669988816
Yeah what the fuck, no flaccid dick is ever big. You should have shot that school up

>>669987098
pissed myself then sat in class like a pro

>>669988648
So what, well done mate. I don't fucking get why everyone gets so upset when a girl gets punched even though she deserved it.

You should have punched her again, just for the lulz.

>>669989089
Was it a chick, if so continue, if dude, sue the school

>>669989168

I knew the difference because of porn.

>>669989176

I didn't know what was going on until much later. Even so I don't think I would have enjoyed being known as the little dick shooter.

The girl who made the t-shirt killed herself later on. maybe if i wait long enough they will all die without me having to do anything.

>>669989457
I know the difference because I took a paramedical biology class in school

>>669988648
Should've punched her again and then left that school

geography teacher wouldn't tell me how to pronounce Nigeria

>>669989501
>being an alpha to the point where your bully kill herself

>>669989398
It was a chick, I don't know why people think it's strange. Penis inspection day is the cornerstone of any young man's education in my eyes.

File: 1455750026295.jpg (146 KB, 1024x798) Image search: [Google]

146 KB, 1024x798

>>669985758
>People found out I'm a furry

I farted during a class. Everything was so silent and all the sudden I feel something in my belly. Actually it wasn't a fart, it was just some noise my stomach made, but it was really fucking loud and it lasted for 15 seconds. I hate it when that happens.
I was petrified until the rest of the lecture.

File: 1424140560110.png (94 KB, 296x253) Image search: [Google]

94 KB, 296x253

>>669989896
tell us what happened anon, what did they all do/say?

Also how did they find out? I'm asking So I know what not to do

File: 1454790976686.gif (2 MB, 350x197) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 350x197

>>669987274

>>669986928
what did gay nigger say about it?

>>669988046
kek

I used to masturbate into clean socks because I thought if I reused a sock even once I would get an STD. And then on penis inspection day I had sock lint stuck to my penis and the nurse asked if it was poop

>>669988415
le edgy meme xD xD rawr

>>669990534
kek

>>669989819
Topkek.jpg

>>669990058

I have felt that summoning up feeling in my belly when a fart is imminent.

Once in class I got that feeling and decided to make a loud cry/shout with my mouth to cover the noise of the fart but i mistimed it and starting farting after I finished shouting.

Basically it ensured everyone in class looked at me when I farted.

>>669990065
One of my so-funny-I-could-kick-his-fucking-face friend found s/fue porn in my phone and proceeded to show it around saying "Omg anon's such a sick fuck"

And to hit the fucking nail on the head I kept my suit in my locker, some asshole found it and wore it around making funof me


You can say I was prettynuch asking for it
, but didn't care. I got to meet more people and some hot girls to fuck with because of it

File: JxyZ1tM.png (16 KB, 197x197) Image search: [Google]

16 KB, 197x197

>>669988046

During silent reading in my 7th grade english class, I sneezed so hard I farted. Didn't help that the chair amplified the sound. Everyone kinda just stared at me.

>>669988922
Dude, every country that isn't a third-world shithole where people walk around barefoot and pray at shrines has penis inspection day once a year ages 14 to 18. That's why Africa is full of AIDS and Zika and shit, they don't learn how to take care of themselves down there. What the fuck backwater are you from?

>>669989501
I wonder if it's a generation thing when it comes to bullying or if it's just that I'm in Canada because my school wasn't bad at all. Everyone at my school was pretty accepting and the ones who were bullies mostly just called people names and that's it

>>669990798
christ dude, get an app-lock or at least lock your phone, also

>fursuit in locker
what the fucking fuck anon?????

Got caught fucking one of my classmates in the ass

>>669990798
Fuck my typing at this hour, sorry if I confused you with so many misspelled sentences anon

>>669990798
You can't just fuck a cat and call it a hot girl you fucking faggot

>>669991101
Parents would've disowned me if I decided to keep it at home

I said Hitler did nothing wrong when a jew teacher did his first class.

File: notsorarepepe.jpg (27 KB, 400x388) Image search: [Google]

27 KB, 400x388

>be me back in middle school
>penis inspection day arrives...
>my name is Aage Aaron so I have to go first
>the health teacher and the PE coach are waiting in the gym at a folding table
>so nervous my penis has retracted considerably into by body
>try to stretch my penis out while approaching the table
>fingers and penis are too slick from flop sweat to get a decent grip
>push with my pelvic muscles to try to work my penis back out so that it looks normal
>mom is dating a nice Armenian fellow at the time
>had some spiced raw goat stuffed in cabbage the night before at his family's house
>accidently rip unbelievable fart that reverberates off of the wooden bleachers
>mfw I got suspended for three days
>fucking penis inspection day…

Got a boner on penis inspection day. The whole class saw, it was pretty embarrassing.

>>669990115
hey look, it's that guy from halo 5!

>>669990300
>>669990828
me again, with more detail.
>i was facing the wall wearing my pants and one of the guys slid his hand down the back of my underwear.
>they were calling me faggot.
>i was terrified because i started to get hard and didnt want them to see.
>he slipped his middle finger in my ass and was laughing saying it felt like his girlfriend.

>>669990853
Hahaha that's fucking hilarious.

Also, holy fucking shit, silent reading! I remember that shit and now I miss it

>>669991173
But what about a welt-built furry girl with the same fetishes you like ?

Said girl is now my roomate

>>669989863
Not in Australia ,but a chick doin it is hot, bonus if shes hot

>>669986482
yep. happened to me in 6th grade.

>>669990884
Ahm, we have parents who teach us to be clean. No penis inspection day.

>>669991468
We know this isn't real faggot, stop telling us your gay fantasies

>>669990884
Canada. Maybe new Prime Minister will bring in penis inspections. He's legalizing weed.

File: 03a129e045210dea3de00ba381a19536e60f454c_full.jpg (10 KB, 184x184) Image search: [Google]

10 KB, 184x184

>>669987274
nigger you what

>>669985758
caught masturbating in coat room by a nun

>>669990884
I'm not the guy you were talking with, but I live in Argentina and we don't have penis inspection day. Do you know who teaches us how to properly clean and take care of our penises? Dad and the doctors, you dumb faggot

>>669991077

I was unlucky, I just happened to have my penis exposed at the wrong time when someone had a camera and it sort of developed from there. Without the picture a lot less people would have seen my cock and someone would not have had the bright idea to make a t-shirt of the photo (which wasn't just of my cock, it was identifiable).

I think it is harder for kids today, they get tricked into taking photos of their genitals then the photos get passed round school.

>>669987737
right.. because wrestlers dont touch each others' dicks everyday in the locker room/shower anyway...

This happened a few weeks ago at the community college I go to

We were taking turns telling our majors to the class and I'm undeclared so I decided to make up some bullshit
I said I was an animal psychologist and my fuck buddy I signed up for the class with started laughing in front of me

For some reason I couldn't stop bursting out laughing over and over again to the point that I started apologizing while they were finishing the thing we started. I'm 20

Penis inspection day?

WTF

File: 1452806895954.jpg (14 KB, 216x290) Image search: [Google]

14 KB, 216x290

>>669988691
Pussy destroyer

>>669991552
extra bonus if she is nude
extra extra bonus if it's your mom
jackpot if she gives you a prostate check at the same time

File: 1455680987824.gif (439 KB, 300x188) Image search: [Google]

439 KB, 300x188

>>669985758
going to school

>>669992234
see
>>669990884

>>669992234
Calm down you fucking normal fag it's just a meme

>>669988040

Req in most American and Canadian schools.

Probably that time school just let out and I tried to jump over a 2ft barrier that I alway easily jump over but this time the tip of my shoe got caught and i fell face first on the ground. All I hear was roars of laughter behind me as I quickly scramble to get up and gtfo

>>669988329
People take shit way too far. we get it you whooped his ass.

File: 1443474506389.jpg (16 KB, 306x306) Image search: [Google]

16 KB, 306x306

>>669991358
>penis inspection
i'm European what the fuck is a penis inspection day.

>>669987274
Ha I remember one of the football players got caught on video fucking a dog the proceeded to throw the little fucker when he noticed he was being filmed

>>669985758
My gun jammed

when i was about to commit mass shooting but forgot a support magazine
had to go back home and everyone made fun of me
>ahah yo so dumb yo can`t eben mass shot

>>669992956
At least you tried to be funny

File: 1311947803699.jpg (92 KB, 400x400) Image search: [Google]

92 KB, 400x400

>>669992739

>>669991933
>happen to have my penis exposed
Wtf man

I was in band and my band teacher told me i wouldn't make section leader and i got kicked out of band for calling a nigger a nigger.

I went to my next class and cried my eyes out. People looked at me, hot chick comforted me. Later became best friends with that chick, we always flirted and called each other cute. Never boned. She had this older dude she was seeing, he was 30 something this was high school. I probably coulda saved her from that relationship. Oh well.

>>669992739

Fucking yuropoors, it's when the janitor takes photos of all the boys penises to make sure they're growing properly without any defects or whatever.

>>669991933
As long as your face isn't in the pic, you're fine. They can't prove that it's you even though you know that's your dick/pussy.

That's how it works nowadays.

>>669991493
by well built you mean fat faggot

>>669989790
kek

I got asked to play senior rugby for the school when I was 15. Most other players were 17-19. First training session for warm up we were doing side skips. My boot got stuck in the muck and I fell face first into a pile of wet shit and muck. Every one of the seniors laughed at me, never lived it down

>>669988578
Attempting to use a more sophisticated vocabulary than you're capable of?

Moralizing on the Internet?

lol back to le Reddit before mom comes home, faggot

3 girls were into me but I was too beta to realize it.

I acted like the tough guy when other boys were around but I couldn't talk to girls.

I was really insecure at school because of my acne. now, 13 years later, I realized that I'm really attractive but still too beta to talk to women. I have still the image of this acne face in my head although I have a 7/10 face with a 7/10 body now.

FUCK YOU PUBERTY I HATE YOU! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!

File: 1168981953931.jpg (32 KB, 209x203) Image search: [Google]

32 KB, 209x203

Some kid made up a rumor about me sucking another dude's dick because I told him if he messed with my brother again I'd bash his skull in with a baseball bat.

>>669992907
kek

>>669988329
>hitting someone who can't defend himself

they must feel so much proud... such manly guys...

>>669991907

Your dad touches your penis?

dude. That's incest gay.

>>669993344
>Fucking yuropoors
>when the janitor takes photos of all the boys penises
keep telling yourself that amerifat, at least there isn't a pedo taking pics of my under-aged dickþ

Nothing.

Shit if I was that much of a faggot I wouldn't be able to plan and play The Game.

File: 1455224320540s.jpg (4 KB, 242x208) Image search: [Google]

4 KB, 242x208

>be me
>want to shoot up school
>bring gun
>jump on desk during english and pull out gun
>yell "suck my pee pee you buttheads"
>click
>forgot the clip at home
>mfw
>get fired from teaching

Nothing, I'm perfect

>>669991907
I bet the people of the Falklands thank their lucky stars we won the war, now their education system has penis inspection day.

>rule britannia

>>669985758
>third grade
>sitting in class, feel a fart coming on
>casually tilt to one side to let it escape silently
>thought it was a fart
>I wish it had been
>it was diarrhea
>I shat myself in class and it smelled like death

>>669994188
KEK

>>669985758
diarrhea

>>669985758

This didn't happen to me - it was some uncivilised sambo. He consumed a large amount of Ricola sweets (which cause a laxative effect). During PE, he jumped the first hurdle and shit trickled down his leg. It was worsened by the fact that he was borrowing someone else's shorts and trainers

>>669993844
cool
czech'ed

>>669987444
Checked

>>669987866
>being this new

>>669993432
Nope, she's skinny not skeltal though, white, her hair's long and straight with red edges, she has the right proportion of butt size and boobs. I mean come on anon, just because most of furs tend to be betas doesn't mean some of us don't sneak into the fandom just to bang shy qt3.14 girls

not really that embarrassing but when i was a jr in high school my school did some gay christmas pep rally dont know wtf it was, but I randomly, along with like 10 other students, got drawn to participate in some gay ass american idol type competition in front of the whole school. In the 1st round we were asked a question. My question was what i would do to melt frosty's heart, something stupid like that. I said, "I'm not gay but I'd probably suck on his corncob, if you know what I mean." Even the teacher's laughed their asses off.

>>669990884
I live in the UK and we never had this. Then again I still struggle to understand how the UK is in the first world

>be me
>be 12
>fap furiously to pron + sisters dirt panties, use sister cheap walmart brand peach lotion
>when I go too long and hard with my faps occasionally my cock would peel
>incredible weekend of panty huffing and irc/ftp porn dls
>tfw penis inspection Monday
>tfw everyone in my school thought my dad was fucking me

Roll for 669999999

>>669994095
fucking newfag go back to le reddit

>>669994315

fekin kek

>>669994325
Kek

>>669994545
Youre fucking stupid, you sound like a 14 y/o with bad hygeine.

>>669994050
No. Dads teach kids how to clean/take care of their penises. I wasn't touched by my dad I don't know about you

>>669994657
What the hell is a penis inspction for?

File: 1453300874435.jpg (13 KB, 224x216) Image search: [Google]

13 KB, 224x216

>>669994780
same to you newfag, being american is probably the worst that can happen.

i sucked my friend's dick and got caught. got bullied for it for the next 6 years

>>669994975
to make sure your penis doesnt have anything wrong with it.

>>669995038
Fucking faggot

>>669994315
I don't live in the falklands. Go and have a shower, you smelly britfag

>>669990884
no peenur inspection day here

>>669995038
same thing happened to me. my friend turned on me and said i begged him to do it.

I tried to shoot up my school because everyone was mean to me, but when I took out the gun and squeezed the trigger, nothing happened. All the students and teachers started laughing at me and calling me a retard because I didnt release the safety. I cried and then I killed myself out of shame

>>669995038
Queeeeeer!
Your friend sounds like a cool dude though.

>>669995118
Wait. I thought it was to measure it.
Why else would they have gotten us hard for the inspection?

>>669985758

When I brought FMJ rounds and not hollow points....Every one laughed at me, pointed out that I clearly never went on a shooting spree before.

I dropped out

File: 1436379709863.jpg (34 KB, 960x422) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 960x422

>>669995261

>>669995029
kek so mad

6699999999 get

>>669995520
No I got this everybody get back

>>669995169
I know you don't, we booted you off of that rock and sent your navy to the bottom of the ocean just so the good people of the Falklands could have their penises inspected freely!

>God save the Queen!
>God save penis inspection day!

>>669995435

Fucking laughed

>>669995282
Yeah he is.. By the way, did anyone else hang out with their friends and jack off together? i used to do that with at least 3 different friends for like 2 years. we just went home, watched porn and fapped. sorry for off-topic

>>669994947

bahahahaa. Did you dad also teach you to wear your butt plug to keep the devil out?

>>669989289
I tried that but I shit myself and kinda just hoped no one would notice.. oh god how wrong I was

>>669990884
Britbong here, I've never had one, I'd never even heard of it until I saw this thread.

rolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll65vbfrrrrrrhhfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

File: 1455925746021.gif (47 KB, 300x400) Image search: [Google]

47 KB, 300x400

>>669994188
>Clip

>>669999999 Get

>>669995743
Wat. Is this a yuropoor thing?

>>669990884
>>669995803
swedish here, never heard of this either

Me and a couple of buddies were fapping to some of my parents home made porn when my brother and his girlfriend came home early and caught us. Every fucking thanksgiving the whole family laughs at me when he tells the story

Shit myself in second grade

File: 1454213100300.jpg (24 KB, 308x302) Image search: [Google]

24 KB, 308x302

>>669995500
i can hear your breathing while you type, since the only exercise you get is walking to mcdonalds

>>669988201
Troy?

>>669990732
Oh fuck man, I laughed until I cried!

>>669985758

for me it was when i was fucking our principal, she was old but moderately hot, we got caught fucking on the 50 yard line of the football field by some cops

my embarrassment was only assuaged by her imprisonment and my eternal freedom

>>669988292
Haha omg

>>669995944
Are you rural?
Went to school in Sockholm, def a thing here.

>>669990884
Aus fag and we don't have this

>>669990058
I had this some times too. It didn't sound like a fart but everyone looked anyway. I just played it off by asking "what's for lunch today?"

>>669996015
I did this too.
Might've been third grade actually, I don't remember.

My mom had to bring me a clean pair of pants and underwear to school.

Two Words: Rectal Prolapse

>>669987987
I had the same thing happening to me when i had to do a presentation about a subject you'd pick. Mine was about samurai. It just was really long and i wasn't properly prepared. Also the bullies in my class we're there too so i got extra nervous wich resulted in me crying.

I was the last guy for penis inspection and this hot nurse was inspecting me while i had a massive boner as hard as diamonds.
As I hear, my class started leaving a bit earlier and I herd anothr class was coming, i got nervous and asked if i could go soon.
She said sure im finr and i rushed to put on my cloths, in my misfortune i slipped and fell pulling down the curtains covering between me and the nurse.
To my suprise, it wasent another whole class, but all the females of my class.
I sat there, boner hard while all the females saw my rock hard penis.

Probably the only time Ill ever be naked infront of so many hot chicks.

File: 171515.jpg (36 KB, 495x305) Image search: [Google]

36 KB, 495x305

>>669995931

It's totally normal

>>669996182
yeah, a little town an hour south of stockholm

I went to Sandy Hook

>>669988292
That is such a fear of mine when I drunk and out.

>>669990884
I live in new york fucking city and this shit isnt real

>>669990732
Kek

>>669996207
Kiwi here, we have it here.
Pretty sure my Aus mates have had it too

>>669995677
Jesus man it's just a shitty war. Who fucking cares?

>>669985758
I shit my pants laughing at someone who shit their pants

I played hard when I was a kid so I got knocked out a couple times, once riding a bike and once falling off a trampoline. Ever since I get concussed easily. One time I got knocked out just rough housing on the grass field.

File: mitchel.jpg (41 KB, 564x496) Image search: [Google]

41 KB, 564x496

>>669995677

In fourth grade I failed an underwater weight test and the results were posted on the bulletin board so my whole school laughed at me.

>>669987947
You went to Lord Lawson?

10th grade at lunch I accidentally the whole thing. I never lived that down.

>>669990884
Australia doesn't have them dude

>>669996432
Gr8 b8 m8 8/8

>be me 11th grade history class
>teacher asks, "what are u thankful for"
>not being born in Africa
>teacher looks at me
>"oh I mean i'm thankful I wasn't born in poverty"
>labeled as racist from there on out
>teacher was nigger

>>669990884
>people getting this baited

>>669996512
/thread

>>669996803
That explains a lot

>669997052

>>669996803
That's not true
Did you go to school In a shack?
>confirmed abo

>>669985758
Lost my underwear after gym. Mandatory showers are a bitch. And going free willy in jeans is even worse

>>669985758
>Be freshmeat in 9th grade before 9th got demoted to a middle school grade
>Standing in lunch line despite having money and a school store nearby
>Tired af because I'd stayed up late playing starcraft
>Line taking forever
>Eventually drift off standing up
>Hear minor giggling and don't notice people going around me in line
>Cute girl 8/10 goes to walk around
>My eyes are closed just enough that they catch movement
>I spaz and she yelps a bit almost falling backwards
>Step out of line and disappear
>Ended up finding the school store later
Shit happens.

>>669996957
another stupid story

>be me, 14, autistic
>9th grade algebra class
>announcement goes off
>wasn't paying attention to it
>hear the words "karen" and "passed"
>autistically think of positive connotation
>start clapping
>class looks at me like i'm fucking insane
>karen passed away

I told my friends I was going to jack off using my laptop. They walked in on me, expecting to prank me and see what nasty shit I was watching. They heard me grunting "fuck that bitch up. Hit em hard. Go faster. Make an explosion right in the back of it...." They opened the door to the little closet I was in and saw me on the floor, with my laptop and mouse, playing Napolean Total War, besieging a town. It's not that they think I was a chicken fag, they thought I was rubbing myself to it......

penis inspection day at school when i was 9, the doctor touched mine for very long and then had to clean it with his mouth

Everyone laughed at me when i told them, and i only realized i got molested 5 years later

>>669997297
What a faggot. You should kill yourself.

>>669986482
I did that in 4th grade when i used to be a btch

File: 1455249570080.jpg (5 KB, 240x232) Image search: [Google]

5 KB, 240x232

Someone found out I stuck a pencil up my ass for a $20 bet the summer before freshman year. They spread that shit around and everone called me "pencil boy". Never lived that shit down

File: 1882939820398020.jpg (9 KB, 257x196) Image search: [Google]

9 KB, 257x196

>be me age 11
>have to bring P.I. paper home to be signed
>parents sign it bring it I have to bring it back
>last penis inspection day one of my classmates had walked in early
>he told everyone how I was uncircumcised and small
>refuse to go through with it again this year
>all I can think to do is eat the paper (I was 11, give me a break)
>get to homeroom, everyone's turning in P.I papers
>teacher asks me where mine is, I say my parents didn't sign
>gym comes around, everyone goes for their inspection
>they send me (I was the only one not) and the girls to the cafeteria
>have us playing floor hockey FUCK YEAH
>had been feeling sick all day
>puke all over the floor in front of girls
>get taken to nurses office, lying down
>half hour later school counselor comes in
>tells me they need to talk to me
>the janitor saw my P.I paper when cleaning my puke
>tell me that I need to go have it done since they signed
>get penis inspection done (everything normal)
>get known for the rest of middle school as the P.I. Puker

>>669997269
How is losing your underwear embarrassing? Who gives a shit?

Also mando showers are for ppl exactly like you. Nasty faggots who would smell up the school b/c they skip showers

File: 1455248861145.png (824 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [Google]

824 KB, 1920x1080

>>669985758
>come to school early
>janitors just finished cleaning bathrooms
>decide to take a shit before class
>enjoying feeling empty after my bowl blast
>flush, wash hands, head to class
>walk through the hall to class passing other early students
>sit down at my desk
>start getting my shit out of my bag
>student behind me taps my shoulder
anon, you've got toilet paper in your pants.
>reach down and feel 3 foot ribbon of paper streaming out the back of my pants
>it was flapping out behind me all the way from the bathroom through the classroom door

>>669996496
Penises longing for inspection

>be in highschool marching band
>playing at half time
>cheerleaders doing their dance routine right in front of us
> they bend over and I can see right through their black tights
> instant boner
>try to hide it with my trumpet but it's time to play
>they whip around and most of the ones in the front notice and giggle

they teased me for a while but it wasn't so bad.

>maybe you should play the tromBONE anon!

Shit like that

>>669997425
Kek

>>669997711
>PI Puke
>topkek

> Schooltrip to China
> walking with a girl
> im not sporty and we are kinda
> climbing a fucking mountain
> Slowly left behind
> Walk a few KILOMETERS in the
> wrong direction
> MFW mobile phone has no connection

File: 8Kx997v.png (210 KB, 512x384) Image search: [Google]

210 KB, 512x384

>>669997865

File: 1448914676291.jpg (102 KB, 400x590) Image search: [Google]

102 KB, 400x590

>>669997423
Shit son, that's about as cringe as me thinking I was watching a movie when the twin towers got raped. 2nd plane hit and I was all "dayyuum" and laughing a bit, whole class and teacher looked at me in utter horror.

One time I was in french class and we had to do a skit and this was still when i was a tard who didn't know how to make a joke and the whole skit was filled with inside jokes between my other friend and bad french and not a single person laughed i also used to sing a lot because complete tard over it now

>>669992855
You wouldnt happen to know where that video is do you?

>>669996207
Im from vic. We had it

>>669992512
I am from the midwest and do not believe this

File: 1386036415879.jpg (16 KB, 285x288) Image search: [Google]

16 KB, 285x288

>>669997711
checked

>>669998235
Natural selection at work

i honestly probably have a lot of stories but my childhood was so cringy Ive probably blocked them all out

>>669998424
>dat flyover state poverty

USA NW refuse to believe penis inspections are real.

>>669993664
Faggot

The digits

>>669998424
I'm from Chicago and it sounds like you went to some rural ass farm school

>>669997767
how does that even happen

>>669998827
Faggot

>>669997711
dub trip dub dubs

>>669998722
>USA NW
>confirmed autist

>>669998970
I'm gay

>>669998722
I'm from the PNW, there is no inspection for your peen up there.

>>669999236
oh okay

File: 185xNxDeglovedPenis2.jpg.pagespeed.ic.plvpH4UB2m(2).jpg (9 KB, 185x150) Image search: [Google]

9 KB, 185x150

>>669990884
>penis inspection

> Puke under/over heater
> Its on
> Whole building sections starts to smell
> Some Kids puking
> MFW cleaner has to puke over heater too
> because of the smell

>>669994095
>when your a moron

> Total loser in HS
> Worked at Domino's. Worked most Friday / Saturday nights (Why not? nothing else going on)
>First week end after school is out, Deliver to house. Wow hugh party going on, looks like everyone from HS is there.
OfCourseIwasNotInvited.jpg
>mfw, Had no clue there was a party
> look at name, fuck its one of the mean bitches at school, call her Jan
>Walk up to door, start asking around for Jan
>”She's in the kitchen, dude, gimme one of those pizza's asshole”
>Escape, find Jan in Kitchen
> total is $98 and she gives me a $100 bill
> “No tip for the geek Jan?” asks one of the guys hanging out with her
> Jan gives me a look, whispers something to the guy and they both laugh
> “You want a tip Anon?” Jan asks
> I am very uncomfortable and just want to leave so I turn 360 degrees and start to leave
> Somebody grabs me “You forgot your tip asshole”
> I am spun around to face Jan.
> She pulls her pants down, and turns around and bends over and says, “Here's your tip Anon, you get to kiss my ass”
>Who ever is holding me grabs my hair and forces my face into her ass and keeps telling me to kiss it
> Folks are yelling and laughing, I see flashes as folks take pictures
>Finally let me up and I start to walk out.
> I hear somebody yell, “look he has a boner!”, More laughter, a slice of pizza hits me in the head, people through shit at me as I leave.
> I drive off and park a few blocks away
> I fap
> Afterwards I just sit there crying for a while
> Finally get back to Domino's and boss is pissed I was gone so long

One time I shared and the hot girl sitting next to me definitely smelled it. I played it cool. Don't think she knew it was me

File: 1449543507037.jpg (42 KB, 600x579) Image search: [Google]

42 KB, 600x579

>>669999550
Get

>>669999708
She knew

>>669999423
In norcal it's a thing maybe beaver fuckers in Oregon skip it.

File: 20,000 keks under the sea.png (349 KB, 308x409) Image search: [Google]

349 KB, 308x409

>>669997423
fucking kek'd

File: 1448188273806.gif (762 KB, 245x150) Image search: [Google]

762 KB, 245x150

>>669999999

>>669998827
Tiny ass school for sure... but that makes it so they wouldn't inspect my dick? I know a bunch of people who went to school in Omaha (not a huge city, but the metro area does have 1+ million people) and not a one of them has ever mentioned it...

>>670000000

>>669999999
>>670000000