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I really like this waitress that works at my local coffee shop.
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
You are currently reading a thread in /b/ - Random
Thread replies: 96
Thread images: 14
Anonymous
2016-02-17 22:35:26 Post No. 669481674
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:35:26 Post No. 669481674 [Report]
I really like this waitress that works at my local coffee shop. Wat do?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:39:00 Post No.669482224
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:39:00 Post No.669482224 [Report]
Pretend you have cancer and have her know that information. Women get really nurturing over that shit.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:39:41 Post No.669482313
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:39:41 Post No.669482313 [Report]
sniff glue
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:40:25 Post No.669482432
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:40:25 Post No.669482432 [Report]
Buy her a drink, chat a bit, see if she's interested.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:40:54 Post No.669482495
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:40:54 Post No.669482495 [Report]
>>669481674
ask her if she wanna grab a coffee some day
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:41:47 Post No.669482651
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:41:47 Post No.669482651 [Report]
>>669482224
truly horrible advice
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:42:32 Post No.669482775
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:42:32 Post No.669482775 [Report]
>>669481674
Write a musical and invite her to it! Secretly you'll propose at the end
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:43:17 Post No.669482891
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:43:17 Post No.669482891 [Report]
>>669481674
Write a musical for her and propose.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:43:30 Post No.669482927
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:43:30 Post No.669482927 [Report]
>>669482651
>not getting the reference
iasip
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:44:11 Post No.669483047
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:44:11 Post No.669483047 [Report]
>>669481674
Be Married in real life.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:47:52 Post No.669483580
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:47:52 Post No.669483580 [Report]
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>>669481674
If only you were a golden god, who ruled from the mountain top. Then you would truly be a five star man
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:49:10 Post No.669483781
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:49:10 Post No.669483781 [Report]
>>669481674
Use the D.E.N.N.I.S. method bro.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:51:34 Post No.669484136
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:51:34 Post No.669484136 [Report]
>>669481674
talk to her, get to know her interests. Ask her out. Not fucking rocket science, bruh.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:51:50 Post No.669484185
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:51:50 Post No.669484185 [Report]
>>669483781
My buddy uses the MAC system. Which is better?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:53:52 Post No.669484476
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:53:52 Post No.669484476 [Report]
>>669484185
Oh, clealry DENNIS. Do you want to be stuck with the scraps for the rest of your life? Or are you going to go out there, and take a girl by force (not literally though)?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:55:39 Post No.669484726
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:55:39 Post No.669484726 [Report]
>>669484185
MAC system
why the fuck would you settle for sloppy seconds
just go for it, just remember its the implication anon
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:57:33 Post No.669485004
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:57:33 Post No.669485004 [Report]
>>669484726
what implication?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:57:48 Post No.669485038
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:57:48 Post No.669485038 [Report]
find her a piece of glass at the beach
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:58:31 Post No.669485138
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:58:31 Post No.669485138 [Report]
>>669485004
The implication that if things go wrong, she has nowhere to go
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:59:28 Post No.669485274
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:59:28 Post No.669485274 [Report]
>>669485038
get her some sea specimens

bitches love sea specimens
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:59:35 Post No.669485293
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 22:59:35 Post No.669485293 [Report]
>>669481674
PUT RAT POISON IN HER SHAMPOO
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:00:15 Post No.669485388
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:00:15 Post No.669485388 [Report]
>>669485138
okay. that sounds really dark though.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:00:42 Post No.669485457
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:00:42 Post No.669485457 [Report]
>>669481674
Ask her boyfriend Jamal if you can smell his hand next time they fuck.

>2016
>Still thinking cute white women haven't been ruined
>Not spending your time making money instead

Disappointed in you OP
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:00:43 Post No.669485459
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:00:43 Post No.669485459 [Report]
>>669485138
anon, it sounds like these women don't actually want to have sex with you
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:01:58 Post No.669485648
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:01:58 Post No.669485648 [Report]
>>669485388
No no. I dont think you understand we arent going to hurt this girl if she doesnt do anything. But she will do it, because of the implication.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:02:10 Post No.669485680
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:02:10 Post No.669485680 [Report]
>>669483580
IM A 5 STAR MAN!
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:03:11 Post No.669485827
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:03:11 Post No.669485827 [Report]
>>669481674
Does you recognize you and have you talked and established some rapport? If so, ask her out, jesus christ.

If not, start making some jokes or some shit, talk to her before and and be friendly. Then do the above.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:03:18 Post No.669485842
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:03:18 Post No.669485842 [Report]
>>669485648
No this man
>>669485459
I need you on my page anon, because im not planning on hurting these girls. You understand that right?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:03:18 Post No.669485845
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:03:18 Post No.669485845 [Report]
>>669485388
No it's not dark you're misunderstanding me bro, because if the girl said no then the answer is obviously no, but the thing is shes not gunna say no because of the implication
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:04:06 Post No.669485950
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:04:06 Post No.669485950 [Report]
>>669485827
er, does she*
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:04:35 Post No.669486010
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:04:35 Post No.669486010 [Report]
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>>669485648
You've said the word implication a couple of times.. what implication?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:08 Post No.669486075
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:08 Post No.669486075 [Report]
>>669484136
>doesnt get the reference
>clearly a nigger
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:16 Post No.669486091
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:16 Post No.669486091 [Report]
>>669485845
I got you. We take this girl out so she can make rash decisions based off of fear.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:24 Post No.669486110
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:24 Post No.669486110 [Report]
>>669485827
The thing is she won't go out with op because hes a janitor who bashes rats in a bar and shares a bed with an old man who may be his dad
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:39 Post No.669486150
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:05:39 Post No.669486150 [Report]
just go there frequently for your morning coffee, flirt with her gradually until you know her on a first name basis, after you get to know some of her hobbies/interests ask her if she would like to go on a date. SIMPLE.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:10 Post No.669486207
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:10 Post No.669486207 [Report]
>>669486110
She doesn't have to know this yet. I BELIEVE OP CAN FAKE IT.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:18 Post No.669486225
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:18 Post No.669486225 [Report]
>>669481674
Drop a monster condom on the ground in front of her which will exude to her the fact that you have a monster dong.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:34 Post No.669486266
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:34 Post No.669486266 [Report]
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>>669486010
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:41 Post No.669486284
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:41 Post No.669486284 [Report]
>>669486150
Well the thing is no one actually knows her first name. We just call her as "the waitress."

Is that gonna be a problem?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:54 Post No.669486315
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:06:54 Post No.669486315 [Report]
>>669481674
You? But you're just a dirt grub.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:14 Post No.669486352
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:14 Post No.669486352 [Report]
>>669481674
Hire a guy to stab her then take him out before he does
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:31 Post No.669486398
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:31 Post No.669486398 [Report]
give her denim chicken. or prepare some milk steak for her
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:33 Post No.669486405
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:33 Post No.669486405 [Report]
>>669486010
The implication that things MIGHT go wrong for her if she doesn't sleep with me, but things aren't gonna go wrong but she's thinking that they are..
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:40 Post No.669486423
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:40 Post No.669486423 [Report]
>>669483781
It's the D.E.N.N.I.S SYSTEM nigger, not method. Jeez
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:41 Post No.669486425
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:41 Post No.669486425 [Report]
>>669486284
Nikki? Cosmo?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:44 Post No.669486431
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:07:44 Post No.669486431 [Report]
>>669481674
Cut a hole in the bottom of a coffee cup, stick your dick in it, ask if she wants a sip.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:08:17 Post No.669486523
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:08:17 Post No.669486523 [Report]
>>669486398
Dont forget the finest jellybeans
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:08:45 Post No.669486591
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:08:45 Post No.669486591 [Report]
>>669486405
...but it sounds like she doesn't want to have sex with you
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:12 Post No.669486660
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:12 Post No.669486660 [Report]
Pretend to date a black girl so she thinks you're not racist.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:35 Post No.669486713
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:35 Post No.669486713 [Report]
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>>669486591
WHY AREN'T YOU UNDERSTANDING THIS?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:38 Post No.669486724
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:38 Post No.669486724 [Report]
>>669486523
>finest jellybeans

*Raw, of course
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:38 Post No.669486725
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:38 Post No.669486725 [Report]
>>669486523
almost forgot about the finest jelly beans!... raw of course
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:49 Post No.669486757
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:09:49 Post No.669486757 [Report]
Spoiler alert: she fucked an old bald midget.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:10:30 Post No.669486851
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:10:30 Post No.669486851 [Report]
>>669486591
She doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:11:40 Post No.669487016
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:11:40 Post No.669487016 [Report]
>>669486725
>>669486724
Of course. Youre gonna love it. And while they get the milk steak boiling, how about we go into the coat room and hump
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:11:56 Post No.669487058
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:11:56 Post No.669487058 [Report]
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>>669484136
Being this autistic
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:11:58 Post No.669487066
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:11:58 Post No.669487066 [Report]
>>669486713
Are you gonna hurt woman?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:12:38 Post No.669487175
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:12:38 Post No.669487175 [Report]
>>669486851
a true woman wont give it up right away. she wont give it up until years down the road
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:12:45 Post No.669487196
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:12:45 Post No.669487196 [Report]
>>669486423
Shit! I just saw that episode yesterday and I couldn't remember that, fuck! STUPID STUPID STUPID!
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:14:31 Post No.669487463
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:14:31 Post No.669487463 [Report]
Tell her your a fullonrapist you know, children, dyslexics, all that shit.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:16:52 Post No.669487780
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:16:52 Post No.669487780 [Report]
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I just get so rrrrrr!
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:18:06 Post No.669487959
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:18:06 Post No.669487959 [Report]
>>669481674
If she turns you down, smash her face into a jelly
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:18:07 Post No.669487964
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:18:07 Post No.669487964 [Report]
>>669486352
no No NO! you let him stab her then you nurse her back to health!
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:22:19 Post No.669488553
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:22:19 Post No.669488553 [Report]
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>>669485293
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:23:16 Post No.669488672
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:23:16 Post No.669488672 [Report]
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Which one of you fags is supposed to be my dad?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:25:22 Post No.669488980
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:25:22 Post No.669488980 [Report]
>>669482313
the only possible answer
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:28:51 Post No.669489496
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:28:51 Post No.669489496 [Report]
>>669486150
Chicks dig ghouls and magnets, right?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:32:50 Post No.669490016
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:32:50 Post No.669490016 [Report]
>>669481674
Who the fuck do you think you're fooling?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:40:41 Post No.669491106
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:40:41 Post No.669491106 [Report]
>>669481674
Do NOT approach her in any way while she's working
Your best bet is to facebook stalk her until you find out places she goes to regularly and "coincidentally" run into her there
If this girl is cute, she probably gets hit on by multiple guys every day she works. You think you're going to be the cassanova who sweeps her off her feet? No
She will NOT be in the mood to interact with guys she's not already interested in.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:42:11 Post No.669491314
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:42:11 Post No.669491314 [Report]
>>669481674
Tell her about your cool friends on the internet and how totally extreme we are xDxDxD
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:43:25 Post No.669491464
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:43:25 Post No.669491464 [Report]
>>669491106
>>669491314
I dislike peoples knees, will that fuck it up?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:45:12 Post No.669491712
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:45:12 Post No.669491712 [Report]
>>669491464
Just make a move, it's a 50/50 chance
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:45:35 Post No.669491774
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:45:35 Post No.669491774 [Report]
>>669487196
Dumb bird
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:45:41 Post No.669491795
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:45:41 Post No.669491795 [Report]
>>669481674
IT'S HER FUCKING JOB TO BE NICE.
SHE ONLY CARES BECAUSE YOU ARE PAYING HER SALARY. EVEN STILL, IF YOU STOP GOING, SHE WOULD FORGET WITHIN 2 DAYS OF WORKING MAX
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:46:13 Post No.669491863
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:46:13 Post No.669491863 [Report]
>>669491464
i agree. cover your knees if your gonna be walking around everywhere
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:46:35 Post No.669491927
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:46:35 Post No.669491927 [Report]
>>669481674
ask her out for coffee
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:47:47 Post No.669492118
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:47:47 Post No.669492118 [Report]
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:48:01 Post No.669492168
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:48:01 Post No.669492168 [Report]
>>669491712
Ive never left the city i was born in is that a problem as well?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:48:52 Post No.669492290
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:48:52 Post No.669492290 [Report]
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:50:15 Post No.669492494
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:50:15 Post No.669492494 [Report]
>>669492168
When a new experience presents itself to me I try to stay open to it and just say yes
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:52:44 Post No.669492857
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:52:44 Post No.669492857 [Report]
>>669481674
wait her out anon
eventually she will realize you are the only one and you will get married with your rat army in tow and have a but ton of janitors and waitress

dont take any experiemental pills you might realize you dont like her all that much
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:54:24 Post No.669493105
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:54:24 Post No.669493105 [Report]
>>669492494
So we should say yes to banging the trucker?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:56:39 Post No.669493408
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:56:39 Post No.669493408 [Report]
>>669493105
>>669492494
whats say we slip into a room and you two split me open like a coconut
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:57:24 Post No.669493525
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Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:57:24 Post No.669493525 [Report]
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I thought you were supposed to be illiterate?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:57:26 Post No.669493531
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:57:26 Post No.669493531 [Report]
>>669493105
Do you wanna go bang the trucker in that motel?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:58:10 Post No.669493652
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:58:10 Post No.669493652 [Report]
>>669493408
GTFO of here Byron
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:58:58 Post No.669493759
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:58:58 Post No.669493759 [Report]
>>669493531
Well we go bang the trucker he has a heart attack, boom free 18 wheeler
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:59:36 Post No.669493872
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-17 23:59:36 Post No.669493872 [Report]
>>669493408
Ive got desire in my heart
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:00:35 Post No.669494023
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:00:35 Post No.669494023 [Report]
Dancing. There's a great move i can show you!
I got my whore wife with this move!
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:00:47 Post No.669494056
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:00:47 Post No.669494056 [Report]
>>669493759
Are you donkey brained by any chance?
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:01:59 Post No.669494249
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Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:01:59 Post No.669494249 [Report]
>>669481674
Show her how much money you make by offering her a bewb job
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:02:34 Post No.669494329
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:02:34 Post No.669494329 [Report]
Fuck Alexandra Daddario and make the waitress jealous
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:06:55 Post No.669494976
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Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:06:55 Post No.669494976 [Report]
I'm hoping she'll be into this game I play in the night with my roommate.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:08:15 Post No.669495170
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:08:15 Post No.669495170 [Report]
>>669481674
You should probably fake having cancer because you saw her wearing a livestrong bracelet once.
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:08:19 Post No.669495178
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:08:19 Post No.669495178 [Report]
Make her a milk steak boiled hard. Gets em every time
>>
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:11:01 Post No.669495621
[Report]
Anonymous 2016-02-18 00:11:01 Post No.669495621 [Report]
>>669481674
She is paid to pretend to like you, remember that and go jack off in a corner by yourself.
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