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I really like this waitress that works at my local coffee shop.
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Thread replies: 96
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I really like this waitress that works at my local coffee shop. Wat do?
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Pretend you have cancer and have her know that information. Women get really nurturing over that shit.
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sniff glue
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Buy her a drink, chat a bit, see if she's interested.
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>>669481674
ask her if she wanna grab a coffee some day
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>>669482224
truly horrible advice
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>>669481674
Write a musical and invite her to it! Secretly you'll propose at the end
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>>669481674
Write a musical for her and propose.
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>>669482651
>not getting the reference
iasip
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>>669481674
Be Married in real life.
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>>669481674
If only you were a golden god, who ruled from the mountain top. Then you would truly be a five star man
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>>669481674
Use the D.E.N.N.I.S. method bro.
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>>669481674
talk to her, get to know her interests. Ask her out. Not fucking rocket science, bruh.
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>>669483781
My buddy uses the MAC system. Which is better?
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>>669484185
Oh, clealry DENNIS. Do you want to be stuck with the scraps for the rest of your life? Or are you going to go out there, and take a girl by force (not literally though)?
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>>669484185
MAC system
why the fuck would you settle for sloppy seconds
just go for it, just remember its the implication anon
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>>669484726
what implication?
>>
find her a piece of glass at the beach
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>>669485004
The implication that if things go wrong, she has nowhere to go
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>>669485038
get her some sea specimens

bitches love sea specimens
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>>669481674
PUT RAT POISON IN HER SHAMPOO
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>>669485138
okay. that sounds really dark though.
>>
>>669481674
Ask her boyfriend Jamal if you can smell his hand next time they fuck.

>2016
>Still thinking cute white women haven't been ruined
>Not spending your time making money instead

Disappointed in you OP
>>
>>669485138
anon, it sounds like these women don't actually want to have sex with you
>>
>>669485388
No no. I dont think you understand we arent going to hurt this girl if she doesnt do anything. But she will do it, because of the implication.
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>>669483580
IM A 5 STAR MAN!
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>>669481674
Does you recognize you and have you talked and established some rapport? If so, ask her out, jesus christ.

If not, start making some jokes or some shit, talk to her before and and be friendly. Then do the above.
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>>669485648
No this man
>>669485459
I need you on my page anon, because im not planning on hurting these girls. You understand that right?
>>
>>669485388
No it's not dark you're misunderstanding me bro, because if the girl said no then the answer is obviously no, but the thing is shes not gunna say no because of the implication
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>>669485827
er, does she*
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>>669485648
You've said the word implication a couple of times.. what implication?
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>>669484136
>doesnt get the reference
>clearly a nigger
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>>669485845
I got you. We take this girl out so she can make rash decisions based off of fear.
>>
>>669485827
The thing is she won't go out with op because hes a janitor who bashes rats in a bar and shares a bed with an old man who may be his dad
>>
just go there frequently for your morning coffee, flirt with her gradually until you know her on a first name basis, after you get to know some of her hobbies/interests ask her if she would like to go on a date. SIMPLE.
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>>669486110
She doesn't have to know this yet. I BELIEVE OP CAN FAKE IT.
>>
>>669481674
Drop a monster condom on the ground in front of her which will exude to her the fact that you have a monster dong.
>>
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>>669486010
>>
>>669486150
Well the thing is no one actually knows her first name. We just call her as "the waitress."

Is that gonna be a problem?
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>>669481674
You? But you're just a dirt grub.
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>>669481674
Hire a guy to stab her then take him out before he does
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give her denim chicken. or prepare some milk steak for her
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>>669486010
The implication that things MIGHT go wrong for her if she doesn't sleep with me, but things aren't gonna go wrong but she's thinking that they are..
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>>669483781
It's the D.E.N.N.I.S SYSTEM nigger, not method. Jeez
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>>669486284
Nikki? Cosmo?
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>>669481674
Cut a hole in the bottom of a coffee cup, stick your dick in it, ask if she wants a sip.
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>>669486398
Dont forget the finest jellybeans
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>>669486405
...but it sounds like she doesn't want to have sex with you
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Pretend to date a black girl so she thinks you're not racist.
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>>669486591
WHY AREN'T YOU UNDERSTANDING THIS?
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>>669486523
>finest jellybeans

*Raw, of course
>>
>>669486523
almost forgot about the finest jelly beans!... raw of course
>>
Spoiler alert: she fucked an old bald midget.
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>>669486591
She doesn't know if she wants to have sex with me
>>
>>669486725
>>669486724
Of course. Youre gonna love it. And while they get the milk steak boiling, how about we go into the coat room and hump
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>>669484136
Being this autistic
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>>669486713
Are you gonna hurt woman?
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>>669486851
a true woman wont give it up right away. she wont give it up until years down the road
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>>669486423
Shit! I just saw that episode yesterday and I couldn't remember that, fuck! STUPID STUPID STUPID!
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Tell her your a fullonrapist you know, children, dyslexics, all that shit.
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I just get so rrrrrr!
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>>669481674
If she turns you down, smash her face into a jelly
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>>669486352
no No NO! you let him stab her then you nurse her back to health!
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>>669485293
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Which one of you fags is supposed to be my dad?
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>>669482313
the only possible answer
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>>669486150
Chicks dig ghouls and magnets, right?
>>
>>669481674
Who the fuck do you think you're fooling?
>>
>>669481674
Do NOT approach her in any way while she's working
Your best bet is to facebook stalk her until you find out places she goes to regularly and "coincidentally" run into her there
If this girl is cute, she probably gets hit on by multiple guys every day she works. You think you're going to be the cassanova who sweeps her off her feet? No
She will NOT be in the mood to interact with guys she's not already interested in.
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>>669481674
Tell her about your cool friends on the internet and how totally extreme we are xDxDxD
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>>669491106
>>669491314
I dislike peoples knees, will that fuck it up?
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>>669491464
Just make a move, it's a 50/50 chance
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>>669487196
Dumb bird
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>>669481674
IT'S HER FUCKING JOB TO BE NICE.
SHE ONLY CARES BECAUSE YOU ARE PAYING HER SALARY. EVEN STILL, IF YOU STOP GOING, SHE WOULD FORGET WITHIN 2 DAYS OF WORKING MAX
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>>669491464
i agree. cover your knees if your gonna be walking around everywhere
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>>669481674
ask her out for coffee
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>>669491712
Ive never left the city i was born in is that a problem as well?
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>>669492168
When a new experience presents itself to me I try to stay open to it and just say yes
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>>669481674
wait her out anon
eventually she will realize you are the only one and you will get married with your rat army in tow and have a but ton of janitors and waitress

dont take any experiemental pills you might realize you dont like her all that much
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>>669492494
So we should say yes to banging the trucker?
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>>669493105
>>669492494
whats say we slip into a room and you two split me open like a coconut
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I thought you were supposed to be illiterate?
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>>669493105
Do you wanna go bang the trucker in that motel?
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>>669493408
GTFO of here Byron
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>>669493531
Well we go bang the trucker he has a heart attack, boom free 18 wheeler
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>>669493408
Ive got desire in my heart
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Dancing. There's a great move i can show you!
I got my whore wife with this move!
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>>669493759
Are you donkey brained by any chance?
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>>669481674
Show her how much money you make by offering her a bewb job
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Fuck Alexandra Daddario and make the waitress jealous
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I'm hoping she'll be into this game I play in the night with my roommate.
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>>669481674
You should probably fake having cancer because you saw her wearing a livestrong bracelet once.
>>
Make her a milk steak boiled hard. Gets em every time
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>>669481674
She is paid to pretend to like you, remember that and go jack off in a corner by yourself.
Thread replies: 96
Thread images: 14

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