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good morning thread

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It's like maybe 4 inches erect.

>>659232817
That's good to hear, people eat microwaveables and that kind of crap too much. Honest home cooking is where it's really at.

>>659232919
Wait what? Oh... Well, as a Finn, I would know.

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>>659232937
Hello, Keith.

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>>659233167
What is it in centimeters?

Actually, go here: thevisualizer.net, make your dick, screencap it, and post here.

>>659233357
excuse me?

>>659233167
Yep. Never liked those semi-instant foods, so I learned to cook pretty quick.

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>calling katia "Keith"
too funny

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>>659233547
Oh, I mistook you for someone else who also uses the name katia. Sorry about that. Don't hate me too much for it. Please.

> making a thread so you can whine like a bitch about nobody talking to you

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>>659233756
You're pretty much hated now.

>>659233736
I don't even know who either of the people are.

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>>659233756
you're done for
>>659233916
they be people from another land

>>659232737

I hate my parents. I moved 500km from my home. The issue is that my boyfriend is also now 500km away. I can't stay at his place because he lives with his parents.

>>659233653

No. Utter crap. I buy the "good stuff" when I go out to the bars.

Stop it, Keith.

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>>659233871
>>659234000
Check'd

my name is WILLIAM VON AWESOMESAUCE THE FIFTH.

and you better use the entire fucking name when addressing me you shitlord

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willy von pedophile

Keith von Keith the Keith.

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>>659234172
nice

SHUT THE FUCK UP STAIRS

Sorry, Keith.

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>>659234214
Understood, sir Wilfred van Awfulstench.

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why don't you two just get married

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I can't feel my face

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>>659233390
Oh, damn, that's fucking nasty.

>>659233653
Nice.

>>659233418
I don't have accurate measurements and I don't have the tools for it. Flaccid it's like two inches or 6cm or something, erect is a little over double that, I think.. It has been called cute on several occasions. I mean, there's nothing really wrong with it, other than the size.

>>659233596
Yeah, they taste like shit and have no real nutritional value.

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you can feel your face if you touch it with your hands

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>>659234760
Yes a great pairing bein born out of a misunderstanding. I like it. It usually works in movies too.

>>659235143
Become my Bride, Wilfred?

>>659234923
I would love to cook for someone someday and then at the most critical moment fail, so that we have to order a pizza and watch some movies.

Holy shit the name keith is awful
such a shitty name

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>>659235261
fuck you, hollywood
>>659235279
some people are stuck with it

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>>659234041
Way too expensive for me

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>>659235261
pizza, netflix and chill

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>>659235279
Wait what?

I just get back and you're trashtalking poor Keith. All he wants to do is post pokemon porn and be a NEET

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>>659234475
I've seem tjat sa,e oicture like 50 times.

Delete it. That's old fur faggot.,

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>>659235636
sounds like a you problem

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>>659235615

>>659234923

Yeah. Pretty fucking nasty.
And I can't even chat with him to console me because he's busy eating his fucking Christmas dinner while I'm here all alone crying.

>>659235372

I weigh 110 pounds, I can afford it. Pretty convenient when you go to a bar and spend no more than 30 bucks in a night, after tipping the bartender.

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>>659235811
Not you, Keith, I mean the namefag Keith.

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>>659235956
I don't know who that is either.

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I like the name "Keith"
Also "Liam"

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>>659235364
Oh come now. Have you ever seen makeup THIS resilient to car crashes, explosions, attacks of aliens and giant robots and natural cataclysms? Hollywood has to have some scientific experts in it to make stuff like that. You think someone would do that? Just make a movie and make it unrealistic?

>>659235579
That and much more.

>>659236046
But only because of Liam Neeson.

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>>659236029
Like I said, pokeporn poster.
In the pokeporn threads.

He's even more NEET than you.

When I made that first post I didn't realize you were renamed Keith now

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>>659236236
but you actually KNOW my name.

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I like the name Desmond
>>659236235
i guess you're right

I know Katia's name.

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>>659235881
I can't help you in any other way than to offer my sympathy, if that means anything.

>>659236046
I like them both too, but I'm a Finn so I would like your weird names.

>>659236235
What more is there?

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>>659236235
Kind of. I just like how it rolls off the tongue.

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>>659236309
Yeah, but that guy renamed you. You've been christened Keith now.

Also
>massive tits
disgusting
medium-small is better.

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Doesn't matter what katia's name is, he has an adorable voice.

>>659236361
nope

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>>659236655
yeah agreed

>>659236665
I would if you told me.

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>>659236655
Did SamJam get her presents yet?

>>659236782
I did earlier in the thread.

>>659236820
I do not feel like scrolling up.

>>659236655
>medium-small is better
fuck yeah

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>>659236664
This is true.

>>659236811
NO MUM STILL HASN'T SHOWN UP
It's great

>>659236764
So what's up? Having a merry Christmas? Or almost Christmas?

>>659236871
>needing to be spoonfed
Weakling

>>659236955
>>659236955
>>659236955

>>659237031
almost crapmas

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>>659236361
Is it Wilhelm?

>>659236581
Well, I don't know... Furious sex on different pieces of furniture?

>>659236236
Back to looking for MY Keith, then. And here I thought I found my cute kouhai by a coincidence.

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>>659237031
Wow, poor kid.

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katia i complimented you. please notice me senpai

>>659237180
I thought that was included in netflix and chill.

>>659237241
But since you do that regardless, it does help or move you in some way.

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>>659237262
It's fantastic. I can almost touch the suffering

>>659237074
Did you get me a present?

>>659236581

Like I said before: I come here and complain about my problems. What does it get me? Strangers telling me they wish they could help. In the end, what is it worth? I would you could help me too. Then I wouldn't be sitting here alone and crying.

>>659237440
no

>>659237402

I wish.

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>>659237440
Hah.
What time is it there?

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>>659237496
You're the worst christmas

>>659237616
10am

>>659237402
It's actually excluded in the chill, but I might have had wrongly defined watching movies...

I usually just watch them and have sex afterwards. Missed me some booty because of that once. Literally pushed her, while she was shaking her ass from between me and the screen to see the movie.

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>>659237754
Yep, definite meanness territory.

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Katia, snuggle me.

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>>659237969
She's gotta wait for her nan, Dotter.

We don't get to spend every Christmas with her, she wouldn't want to miss SJ's face lighting up

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>>659238324
Take photos instead!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gLliPCLs74U

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>>659238450
Or we could wait a bit

>This is why you guys can't get laid fucking c ucks

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>>659238602
Such a terrible parent.

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That's one family event down one more to go then I'm safe until mother's day.

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>>659238480
>Internet Aristocrat

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>>659238779
It is a parent's sacred duty to ensure their kids suffer

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>>659239000
A good point.
> pass it on from generation to generation

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>>659238769
I cant get laid cus im ugly.

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>>659238769
but you never said why

>>659238963
problem?

>>659238769
I can't get laid, because I don't make enough money yet.
Growing out of teenage sex means you get to meet with adults and those require some financial backing if you intend to start living with them.

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>>659239442
No, I like his videos

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>>659237564
If it yields no positive feedback, take away the negative or replace it with anger, for example, then you should have no reason to come here and complain in the first place. You are getting something out of this.

>>659237943
Maybe.

>she
lol u wot m8

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merry christmas fuckers

>>659238480
I kinda wanna watch it but every time I open one of your damned videos I get weirdo shit in my recommended list for weeks

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>>659235279
>tfw you're a Keith
Fucking hate this name

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>>659239732
merry christmas tomorrow

>>659239675

I get porn to fap to.
Except tonight, unlike the other nights, I'm too sad to fap.

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>mom got me a black and purple striped long sleeve shirt for christmas
SHE KNOWS

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>>659239809
yup, but idk if i'll be around tommorow so figure'd i'd say it now

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>>659239996
fair enough

>>659239985
YOU'RE DOOMED

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>>659239732
Merry Christmas, groden.

>>659239850
You get porn regardless, so that can't be the reason. More likely is that you're trying to sitract yourself from your sorrow by getting some form of contact from us.

>>659239985
:3c

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>>659239675
I wasn't always a faggot, you know. When I was younger, there was more social pressure into staying straight. As such, I needed a proof I'm not one of 'em rainbow power guys.
Sometimes, bullying is not something you can simply ignore. Sometimes, to be in the safe zone, you need to conform for a moment, to not get dead.


Ok, It was just for a while, but it was nice catching up with you guys. I hope to drop by again someday. Bye!

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>>659240219
hi badger, merry christmas, hope you're doing well

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>>659240278
seeya later

>>659240219

I guess so.
I guess I just don't talk to enough people.
I'm not social enough.

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>>659239985

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Oh, and Merry Christmas, faggots. I hope it turns out to be fine Christmas after all.

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>>659240215
>>659240219
>>659240566
aint even mad
I'm gonna look sexy in it

>>659240751
Post pics

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>>659240278
Sure, I get it. I'm just glad I live in a more... "enlightened" society.

>>659240402
Yeah, doing great, in fact. Had fun today, having even more fun now.

>>659240519
There's something you need to work on. Gotta find that one person you can trust.

>>659240751
bb pls ur always sexy

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Why not trust fool? He's a trustworthy sort of fellow.

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>>659241012
what'd you do? what are you doing?

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>>659240849
I gotta take the tags off first

>>659241012
Nah

>>659241012

What's something I need to work on?
The one person I can trust with what?

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>>659241494
dinner, gifts, alcohol

>>659241525
yah

>>659241602
You need to find a person you feel like you can trust. A friend you can talk to.

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>>659241799
pretty good combo

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>>659241959
And how great all of those were...

>>659241799

Like, my boyfriend? He's busy eating Christmas dinner 500km away.
And the rest of my friends... well, idk. I don't like trusting people.
I think it's maybe because I feel like shit when I drag my friends down by forcing them to listen to me complaining. Shit, I have it made. I have a great life and I appreciate nothing. They'll just make me feel bad for not loving my already awesome life.

>>659239798
:^)

>>659242399
Youtube thinks I wanna watch videos about how the moon is a hologram

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>>659242188
I've found that most people generally have a desire to help. They're willing to listen and offer advice, but they will tire of hearing the same shit over and over. But that may be just my perception. My advice to you is not to dwell on how things could be better, but rather enjoy what you have here and now, no matter how small it may be.

>>659242658
you should
that shit is hilarious

>>659242701
A dude my sister mooches off is like, extreme paranoid conspiracy theorist. Next time he sends me videos I'll make sure to forward them to you

My favourite one was "the earth is hollow"

>>659242899
DO SO

>>659242660

Well, that's my problem. I don't enjoy jack shit. I get too hung up on my problems.
I don't talk to my friends in that way for fear of overdosing them on my sob stories. You're right, I think they've heard enough and I don't want to lose friends because I'm too miserable. I'd rather keep my misery to myself.
But that doesn't explain why I bring it here to the internet.

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>>659242658
Are you so sure its NOT!?

>>659243031
If the moon is a hologram, how could they fake the moon landing?

>>659242988
Because random strangers never tire of hearing bad news, some even thrive off it, such as the news

>>659243184
It was done in studio 54 all the dust was actually cocaine.

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>>659242988
Being afraid of driving people away is a sure way to do so. They'll want to help you if they see you're down, but if you close up, they'll linger in uncertainty and eventually grow too weary to care.

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>>659243184
They landed a hologram on a studio of cocaine, DUHHH
>>659243190
>>659243190

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>>659243506
wrong link

>>659243359
>>659243359

>>659243697

Nice.

>>659243407

Oh great. So I'm fucked either way.

>>659243937
Unless you start throwing parties you better get cats or something.

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>>659243407
Dat charr butt

>>659244114

I used to do parties. Now I'm lazy.
Also, I don't do parties when I'm in a bad mood.

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>>659244462

>>659244547
Lewd

>>659244364
Well your laziness gets you loneliness.

>>659244708

No, 500km between me and my boyfriend gets me loneliness.

>>659244826
Doesn't mean shit as long as you have your own friends.

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>>659244661
ur lewd

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>>659243937
Whether or not you're fucked is entirely up to you, how you interpret it. I realise humans aren't logical beings and that you can't rationalise it to make yourself feel better. Pain is subjective to all and it won't help to beat yourself up at how insignificant your problems may seem compared to others who have it worse. Self-pity is the worst pit you could fall into at this point.

>>659244250
ur butt

>>659244993
I would never

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>>659245004
Oh

>>659245140
I believe it.

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I do like guybutt

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>>659245140
I think you would

>>659245457
Never ever

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>>659245371
Wow, what a coincidence.

>>659245004

How do I stop myself from falling into it then? Is it even possible?

Katia please
freklz is the purest maiden
as pure as freshly fallen snow, waiting to be plowed

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Breaks are still the worst.
AM how do you live like this?

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>>659245584
liar

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>>659245694
Good guybutt is just as good as good girlbutt, if not better!

>>659235636
Fuck off
Learn to type
Come back

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>>659245864
Ew

>>659246007
by keeping myself busy on like 40 different games
and shit tons of self loathing, cant forget the self loathing
>>659246179
Thats not very nice...

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>>659246007
>I get a short break every hour

>>659246033
N-no

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>>659246065
I'm on the side of guy butt.

Rolling, can I leave now?

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>>659246368
I wish I had limited breaks.

>>659246317
The one game I have to keep myself busy is not working like it is supposed to.

>>659246368
>every hour
>not working 8 hours and getting two 15 minute and one 30 minute break
casual

>>659246560
Play path of exile

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>>659246317
Well dont be yukky

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>>659246415

>>659246568
I get a 15-20 minute break every hour of work. Paid breaks

Which means I spend a minimum of 20% of my night getting paid to not work.

>>659246633
Im not yukky!
You're yucky!!!!!!

>>659246737
pffft, what a loser
g..gimme a job pls

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>>659246423
inbeeb

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>>659245832
It is, it just requires determination. It's much harder to claw your way up from there than to prevent yourself from falling into it, but it's doable. You need to stop and think rationally for a moment, evaluate what you have and what you don't. Establish goals and not give into despair and hopelessness. You need to try and remember a positive feeling, like being with your boyfriend. You need to cling to that.

>>659246065
I have very little experience of girlbutt, but from what I've heard, guybutt is better.

>>659246737
That'd be nice.

>>659246871
Fly down to west aus

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>>659246807
Well what if I am!?

>>659246963
It is the best part of the job
I get a lot of reading done

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>>659246917
Id rather have guybutt.

>>659246970
literally buying a ticket right now
>2.5k USD
yeah what I meant is pls buy me a ticket

>>659247022
WELL
THEN
Huh, ive got nothin.

>>659247265
ahahahaha

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>>659247168
I'd love some guybutt right now. I'd love dick even more.

>>659246646
Nwo shtop pleashe

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>>659247265
Hah, im kidding. There are three people here who would tell you otherwise.

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>>659246909
Have more

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>>659247458
never

>>659247385
yeah I rather not move there anyway, I like living

>>659247482
Yeah, so ive heard
same goes for me
so we are at an impasse

>>659247650
pansy

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>>659247388
Ah yes, benis is nice too.

>>659247610
H-hmph

Well, my meds have finally worn off. I guess I can cry myself to sleep now.
Thanks to those who talked to me tonight. I know I'm not the best person in the world to talk to.
Merry fucking Christmas everyone.

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>>659247952
out fucking played

>>659248107
Buy me a kyouko hoodie

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>>659247995
chow

>>659248277
no you would need red pantsu for that I only have the blue pantsu

>>659248490
O-oh...

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>>659247815
I could deal with a little dp right about now.

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>>659248668
an wut?

>>659235955
sauce

>>659248627
~
>>659248900
check your moms anus

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>>659248859
Double penetration. The thing that was illustrated so beautifully in the previous image you posted.

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>>659249035
Your butthole mite get ripped

>>659248963
checked

>>659249155
Nope. Experience and lube tell me I'll be fine.

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>>659249555
Dont obliterate your butthole.

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>>659249720
But that's the best part.

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>>659249985
But your butt!

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>>659250143
It'll be fine. Just take some time after the obliteration and I'll be right back at it.

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butt butt

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>>659250290
Ouch

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>>659250419
The best kind of pain.

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>>659250299
Ah yus, cowboy.

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>>659250633
>reverse cowgirl
.////.

Yuck.

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>>659251192
>Reverse Cowboy
I like boys better