student loans

bartending

Get into porn. Any type of porn. Cam/internet, video, whatever. Maybe land a job on the production crew after idk.

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Just work lazy nigger.

I wanna nail this model

>>647074815
I don't

Learn to play the guitar. Alternatively, learn to play and build them. Instruments are honestly a joke there so simple to build but people pay thousands for a little woodworking.

Perhaps some ambition and a little hard work.

>>647074143
Go into construction. Convicted felons do it and end up owning huge houses in great parts of town. And 90% of the time they are half assing everything. All of life is how you relate to people. You can do anything if you can make people like you

Get a job that's a little above min wage and a few roomate to split the rent with and slowly save and look for better jobs while building work experience

What have you been doing the last 12 years anyway op?

>>647074143
If you considered an hero as an option at any point, it will always be an option for you. No matter how hard you try to improved your life, improve yourself, it won't pay off. You have had some past experiences that made you this way. They will not go away. Only you will. And the world will keep on spinning.

>>647074143
how'd you get to 29 without any work experience?

>>647074143
Bartender at TGI Fridays.
>fixed

>>647076797
Bullshit. Lots of people that attempt suicide come back with a sort of fearlessness. Caesar Milan, the dog whisperer, tried to kill himself. That ducker is doing well now

>>647076797
i've been reading a lot of self help recently, but this pretty much hits the nail on the head.

>>647075637

Now here is a faggot who has no clue what he is talking about. Luthier work is some of the hardest most skillful work there is. It takes years to master even a simple task and some never master it. Stop talking out of your ass.

>>647077082
answer this OP.

how the fuck did you get that age without a job?

>>647075637
are you a moron?

building a guitar someone wants to pay good money for is fucking hard and highly skilled job

>>647074751
>>647074476

Tried to look into bartending, not my cup of tea, I'm a manlet who looks like he's 12 so this is out of the window

Why does everyone thing California is just about porn?

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>>647074143
>no solid work experience
>no college degree
>lives in southern california near LA

NO WAY!

>>647076608
>>647076497

I don't have friends

>>647074143
You can either make a living with your back or on it.

You choose.

Drugs, sell lots and lots of drugs.

>>647074143
no need to be hero, you can always become a chef?

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>>647077777
quints don't lie

>>647077777
Dem Fucking quints!! Now you have to OP, it's been decicded

>>647077777
nice 7's m8

>>647077699
California is expensive shit

I'm thinking of moving up north, WA, or OR, I like Seattle a lot

>>647077673
There are certainly bars that would hire a guy who looks like a 12 year old.

The porn thing, back in the 70s, San Fernando Valley was porn capital of the world. I guess it stuck with these fags.

>>647076497
this

>>647077777

OP is now a full time drug dealer

>>647078061
If OP gets arrested he can say "I got quints" and the judge has to let him go

>>647077762
You don't need to be friends with people to have roommates.

That's one of the ways you could make friends, look on Craigslist or similar sites for people looking for roommates, or put up an ad yourself.
From there, you can work some shitty min. wage job, or you could lie on your resume about experience and get a manager position at some retail shit.

>>647078061
he needs a pseudonym then

get work experience, go to a temp agency and they'll place you in a two week gig. in the mean time, go on lynda.com or cbtnuggets, and start training for some IT shit, and get some IT certifications.

i know a bunch of people with no educational background who have well paying IT jobs. A 4 year degree in that field is good and all, but certifications get you jobs just the same.

>>647077409

Not OP but I used to live next door to a man how never worked his whole life. He was 66 when I moved and was getting his pension so I guess he will never work his whole life.

> Lived the entire time on unemployment benefit and housing benefit. Occasionally he would buy second hand cars and sell them for extra cash.

He would regularly ask me how I could work for a living when he saw me come home from work.

I got the feeling I would have to sit down with him and spend some time patiently explaining to him why I worked (with the use of sock puppets if necessary) in order for him to understand.

> Every time he asked I just smiled, said nothing and went inside.

since you are in socal you could become a professional prag. them mexicans dig it. like 20 bucks /our

>>647077899
this kitchens across America are filled with people who just could not find something better to do with their lives. Chef is just the first stage at which it becomes respectable. The whole food passion is a farce outside of an actually cultured area. The hours suck though and every other weekend you get "off" you'll be called in since the other chef is in jail for something probably related to drugs.
>>647077777
nice

>>647077777

it is decided then

>>647078459

Quintenberg

>>647078459
His name shall be.. Barney

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>>647077777
OP, if you follow this mans instructions, and you don't do the product. you will indeed make a lot of money.
only thing you need is a solid connect, buy a lot, sell small, you can double your money easy of any drug

>>647078513
>never worked his whole life
>getting his pension
choose 1, you ignorant nigger

>>647078716
Much better than Barney lol
Quintenburg it is

>>647074143
OP, you have to get a job. So, the first thing you gotta do is get of 4chan and write a résumé. Now the neo-liberal scum fucks who run this planet don't like poor people and generally fuck them up the ass.
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsL6mKxtOlQ
BUT, put on your fighting face, and just get the fuck out there and do sumthin. I would suggest, from reading your comments, going into retail. If you're smart enough then you might get promoted and become a manager and climb the ladder. So, just swallow your red pill and then, with a wise face, grab life by the balls.

>>647078367
Has anyone even more of lie in their resumes..?

I doubt this slides through, it's just not genuine and you'd have to be a pro liar to pull it off

I have a BA in Business, hire me!

>>647078716
/thread

>>647078488
Simi Valley is what I'm thinking about, people there just live if you know how to "code"

>>647074143
get into health care most nursing homes and hospitals will train you to wipe asses and shower old people it sucks but here in ohio the hospital down the street is hiring pca at 13 an hour + a 2.00 differential if you work evenings and nights

>>647079252

I have bad work experience, and I have lied. I only will cite places that are closed and I know they cannot contact them. Lying about college experience is hard due to records colleges keep.

>>647078513
Was he disabled or something?

>>647078528
a what?

>>647078926
in my country there's guaranteed pension if your income was too low before you retired. it's like 700€ or something

>>647078926

I am from the UK. You can claim income support/unemployment benefit your whole life and still get a state retirement pension when you are eligible to retire (for him it was 65). The state gives you money to live on your whole life and pays the national insurance stamp on your behalf.

People who work have to pay national insurance out of their wages.

I wasn't lying or making it up, it actually happened - as part of my life. I lived next to a guy who never worked his whole life and when he saw me come home from work he would ask me that question.

>>647079520
how do you find closed places?

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Join the military. I'm in the Navy and it's easy money.

>go to temp agency
>apply for factory work
>$10/hr as a temp
>usually $13+/hr after you get hired on

its literally that fucking simple

>>647079579

No, he was long term unemployed. He used to tell me all the scams he used to use just to get out of working. Such as dripping a little bit of egg yolk on an application form so it would not get considered.

Sometimes he would claim sickness benefit when the DWP were really getting on his back but he wasn't legit sick. Like he told me he would snort cocaine before an assessment and then claim he was suffering from stress and anxiety.

>>647080040
I wish I didn't have a SO I'd join in a heart beat since all my hobbies have gone to shit.

>>647080527
where do I find a temp agency and what is a temp

>>647080633
randstad is a big one, thats who i went through. just google "temp agency in my city"

you get hired by the temp agency and sent to work someplace as a kind of training, temp agency pays you though, not the place you're working for.

usually a probationary period of like 3-6 months, then if you don't have shit attendance and you get your work done you get hired on

factorys pay through the teeth for some pretty easy jobs

>>647080633
you're 29???


you sound like a fucking moron

>what is a temp

>>647081187
do I need certs or a good resume?

do I get to choose what job I get sent into?

>>647074143
Get yourself an agent and try to become an actor

>>647081523
you need 2 hands, and be able bodied enough to convince someone you could lift 50lbs

>>647081499

He might be trolling or he might actually have no real interest in getting a job in which case he wouldn't know what a temp agency is or how you go about joining one because when this thread 404's he will just go back to doing what he did before - nothing.

People like him actually do exist but like i say might be just trolling about one aspect or another.

>Either he is lying about his age, at college or does actually work.

Pick a career and get some training. Start at community college, work as an apprentice, work hard, pretty soon you'll be doing fine. We need lots of plumbers and electricians man. They make decent money. Come on this is simple stuff.

>>647079499
This

I took a month long class and became a CNA...

Worked as CNA at $12 per hour for 18 months while attending school to become an LPN...

Worked as an LPN at $18 per hour for 2 years while taking classes to be an RN...

Now I make almost $40 per hour

>>647080594
french foreign legion is your friend

>>647082395

>Electrician

I would not trust this guy not to electrocute himself in the dick.

Work for an insurance company where you advise them on what outcomes are mathematically possible

>>647082451
>LPN
I really don't like serving people, I don't want to feel like a butler and I'm not good with people

move

Sign up as a volunteer on one of those 'adventure holiday camps'. No expenses, get to travel and you'll have fun whilst getting work experience.

Check out the website anyworkanywhere.

Find a local tech school and take welding

You can pay-as-you-go earn as you learn

You'll be making big money in no time

>>647079952

Get on Yelp and look for places that say Now Closed

make a fake resume that says you went to Stanford for philosophy or something they won't know how to ask you about

google "hadoop tutorial" and follow the instructions

send your resume out to companies saying you are a "big data professional"

make 200k/yr by following online hadoop/spark tutorials

>>647080594

Why can't you join with a SO. If this is OP, you obviously aren't doing anything with your life, I doubt your SO would stop you from working.

>>647078037
More like Burbank is the porn capitol now

>>647083254
you can get cited by forging or pretending like that CIA guy from CNN

>>647083372
>>647082855

I'm here but never even seen a porn studio or industry, where do they all hang out?

also, I like oregon or wa, north cal sounds cheaper

>>647074143
Join the military. Die. Family proud of you.

>>647083325
I'm not OP.
Mainly because I don't think I could spend weeks on end away from my SO. It's not the paranoia or anything it's just they're a huge part of my life. I don't think I could work a job where I didn't get to come home to them.

>>647082843
As an LPN I worked in home health care

I did an overnight shift for a bedridden teen. He slept 95% of the time while I read a book.

Basically $18 an hour to baby sit a sleeping kid

>>647077673
doesn't seem like you are at liberty to decide what is your cup of tea
Get a job you degenerate

>>647083532
You are kidding? I see porn stars walking the streets at least once a week. Saw Proxy Paige and her fine as last tuesday

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>>647074143
JUST GET A FUCKING JOB YOU LAZY FUCK ANY JOB WILL DO JUST GET OFF YOUR LAZY GODDAMN ASS AND WORK, WTF IS YOUR FUCKING EXCUSE? YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR NOT BEIN G ABLE TO SUPPORT YOURSELF AND NO!!! YOU DO NOT GET TO TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT BY KILLING YOURSELF. JUST.FUCKING. GET. A. JOB.


FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>647084546
where do you live? maybe I need to go out more

>>647083986
2-4 years seems like a waste of time learning something to basically be a robot

>>647084631
I guess I will have to go to my nearest vending machine and get a job there

or shake a job tree so job fruits can fall

>>647084631
cause it's just that easy.

>>647074143
you're done OP. 22-29 are considered the prime of a young mans life. you like most of your generation have missed the boat. sorry about the truth.

>>647084687
North Hollywood

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>>647084904
>>647084913
YES, IT REALLY IS THAT EASY!!! SINCE OP HAS NO APPARENT JOB SKILL, OTHER THAN BEING A MASSIVE FAGGOT, HE SHOULD GET A JOB SHOVELING SHIT FOR 11 BUCKS AN HOUR. YES THERE ARE SHITTY JOBS OUT THERE THAT NO ONE WANTS AND YOU HAVE TO STOP BEING SO FANCY AND PICKY AND JUST TAKE ANY JOB. ANY JOB THAT PAYS WILL DO. STOP MAKING WEAK EXCUSES AND JUST WORK AT THE VERY NEAREST JOB NO MATTER HOW SHITTY IT IS.

>>647084687
But seriously i ha e been in your situation, and it sucks. I see a couple people here saying get up off your ass and find anything and ya it is true. Might have to get some min wage shit and go get so,e living assistance from government but that's why its there. Look into it and get on your feet bro. Its nice out here in the valley.

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I hope you get a jobby

Fingers crossed for you

But don't try too hard. Work is overrated

>>647084805
Honestly, the extended time it took was my fault.

I had crazy student loans (from when I went to school for something unrelated) that kept me from financing my nursing career so I had to move slow pay for classes out of pocket. Also I was very timid at first.

If I had it to do all over I would have just waited on tables and got into a 2 year associates degree program to become an RN directly. Woulda saved money and been done in half the time.

I love my work. I provide care for people and help them deal with some of the most difficult times in their life. It's not for everyone but it makes me happy.

>>647086460
I think that's good for you, and this is just me but I just can't wrap my head around sitting and waiting infront of a table only to be told and ask what to do for them so that they (the people) can have an easier life

There's nothing but, click-clack-click, ring ring, ding dong, can you tell me where the cafeteria is? "OH YES, SURE M'AM OVER THERE"

I hate most people I guess