your mom. it was terrible!

>>64602124>>646021240
wife of a police officer

Sulfur and antifeda

>be me
>be manager
>fuck my employee
>fire her a week later
She was a cunt.

Came close to fucking my cousin but thankfully/unfortunately it never happened.. welp

>>646021933
why did you fire her?

fucked my ex when she was emotionaly on the floor after her boyfriend dumbed her and told her she can go fuck off after it

>>646021240

looks just like I fucked a whore on Saturday.

Except she was asian not white.

Except it was a massage table, not a autopsy table.

Except she wasn't covered in contusions and didn't have a cut from her cunt to her tits

>but yeah, I had her pussy out over the edge of the table and was standing there drilling her until I came deep in her

>feelsgoodman.png

>>646022090

wtf.

i have boner...

>>646022090
wheow.

>>646022090
fuck!

>>646022090

maybe more?

>>646021582
you mom. it was amazing

>>646022071
She didn't like when I told her to do her job and she would argue with me.

>>646022299
and who gives a shit?

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fucked my friends girlfriend in the school store.

>>646022185
I am confused. She was your ex and then with him, or she was once emotional over someone, you fucked her and tell her to fuck off, but instead she fucked you again, you became a couple and split afterwards?

I'm on it I live in the west midlands and am heading up there now; Family reunion.

>>646021240
friends girlfriend lots of times. theyre still together

>marine
>LCpl
>bangd Sgts wife
>cum all over her cunt n tits
>best sex ever

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>>646022470

anon, you need my cock deep down your throat to shut you the fuck up

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>normal girl,20
>met me at college, asked me out
>engaged in sex, she took the lead
>her mother threatens a rape charge, turns out she declared herself emotionally unstable and gave her rights to her mother or some shit.

not my fucking problem

>be just married
>new hot intern student at work
>works Christmas party
>get drunk
>fool around
>3 weeks later hook up

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>>646022718
holy shit... if faggotry was a game you would be a bossmonster...

I fucked my female soldier at the woods one night. her bf was calling her nonstop while i fucked her.

I came too quickly, damn

>>646022580
same story
well we haven't fucked but it will happen sooner or later. well we fucked one time before in a threesome with my best friend (they weren't together back then)

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I'm 22 and fucked a cute 15 year old anime bitch who came into my work one day and gave me her number. Her head game was better then girls my age...

>>646022580
greentext?

>>646022676
write that shit up

>>646023084
how did that happen?

>>646023110
I'm 21. Tomorrow is the 2nd anniversary with my gf.
She's 16 right now, started fucking when se was 14

>>646021240
I used to fuck this 22 year old chola everywhere. We worked at the same store. Used to fuck on the clock in the store. Never wore rubbers, came inside ask the time
Married aND was 38 at the time.

>>646023084
Green text dat shit.

>>646021240
my ex is engaged now but I still hit it occasionally

>>646022580
he had a lot to say
he had a lot of nothing to say
will miss him

I Fuck my cousin occasionally, she is married and weed work together.

In the Army I was fucking a 1SG's daughter.

I didn't know it at the time. She told me she was 19 but found out later she was only 17. She was into gymnastics so I could twist her up like a pretzel so the sex was awesome.

She lived with her mother off base. Parents divorced. Her mother walked in on us just as I was blowing a load in her mouth. It was pretty awkward. Luckily mom didn't know I was in the Army, and I looked really young for my age (was 23, looked about 17).

It got really weird when she asked me to take her friend's virginity. Her friend didn't trust any boys she knew so wanted me to do her. Good lord, almost a dream come true, but I'd just found out her real age and that they were still in high school so wasn't going to jail over high school pussy.

Would have been bad news if her dad found out. He probably would have killed me. At a minimum I would have become a Private again...I liked being a Sergeant so had to call an end to it.

First time we fucked was in the base commander's back yard. No shit. Large piece of land with a couple of acres of woods. Good times, yeah, good times.

>>646023915
we're gonna miss him

>>646023110
fuck you, now I want an ice cream

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>>646022328
>>646022360
>>646022366
>>646022410

Had sex with the fiancé of a marine. He was stationed two hours away from where we lived. One night she came over and they had gotten in an argument. She took her ring off and we kissed and fucked and she spent the night

>>646021240

I had sex with my cousin while skinny dipping at night this summer.

>on boat with several cousins day drinking at the sandbar
>tension mounts between me and her throughout the day.
>everyone's drunk
>she rips her bikini bottoms on a tie down clamp
>anon I tore my bottoms!
>see half her ass hanging out
>tell her it's no big deal. We used to skinny dip all the time in the lake at night
>omg at night? That sounds scary anon!
>no it isn't. Meet me down on the dock at midnight.
>its now midnight. Everyone else is asleep
>she meets me on the dock as planned and we both jump in the lake
>only 3ft deep but we lower ourselves until our heads are above the water and take off our bathing suits, throwing them on the dock
>were both naked now and there's only a quarter moon so it's pretty dark
>wow anon you were right this feels so good!
>we talk shit for a bit about our other cousins
>i see a playful look in her eye
>i best you can't catch me anon!
>she starts running away from me through the water
>i go after her and catch her after about 30ft
>grab her by the waist and lift her clean out of the water
>i finally see her tits as she's giggling and squirming in the air
>i set her down right in front of me
>she pushes her tits against my chest
>now that you caught me, what are you going to do to me anon?
>one arm around her waist pulling her tight against me while the other grab her firm ass and squeezes I kissed her deep and hard
>as we're kissing she starts grinding her waist against me
>she grabs my dick and puts it against her pussy and I push into her
>she moans as we still kiss
>as I fuck her in the shallow water I kiss her neck and she warps her arms and legs around me so I'm holding her while fucking her
>tell her I'm going to cum
>she whispers in my ear, "I want to feel you cum inside me"
>that's all I can take as I pump all of my cum as deep in her as I can go
>we stay in the same position for a few more minutes kissing with my dick still inside her

haha fucked a married woman

>Friday Night out with the /b/ros
>Been pounding beers since like 6 pm watching football
>Get downtown to a pool hall
>For whatever reason get a red bull and vodka
>Get 5 more of those
>Blackout, and black back in, in the back of some woman's car with her friend
>Threesome? wtf is going on
>Get to her house, her friend goes to bed
>Fuck the shit out of her for like 2 hours
>5 am she leaves to "clean up"
>Lay back down, realize what the fuck I'm doing
>Find my shit and dip outside, run up the street and call an uber
>Lost my boxers
>Didn't even get a nut

Classic.

>>646024820
Sureeeeee

>>646022580

too soon

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fucked married woman at work in a nursing home in patients bathrooms

Banged my exs niece.

>>646026010
how old?

>>646021790
Same man. Every time for the next few days afterwards I'm shit scared whenever there's a knock at my door. Puss is only just worth it

Fucked my cousin. We were both 16 and her parents were out of town for a music festival. Best 4 days of my live.

>>646022090
Hope that sick shithead did this right after the snake laid an egg. Poor thing!

>>646023084

how long did your asshole hurt after?

>>646026228
18

Be me, 20 years old
Had a terrible GF
Meet a girl, she is 16, 6/10
Month later i cheated on her with the new girl.
After fuck her, feel terrible bad, so i take her out of my house and never seen her again.
Year later broke with my GF she didnt know a thing

I was tutoring my sisters 16 year old friend after work (I worked 5-1:30pm) when I was 19.

>Was super beta Disney gentleman because fat all through highschool. Literally tutoring her out of the goodness of my heart, lost virginity probably a month before this all began.

>she's half Italian, ~5'6, probably 105/110 pounds. Great little booty, huge lips, like Sofia vegerra DSL. Brown hair, porcelain skin, soft cheek bones and a defined jawline. She had kinda messed up teeth, like 6 years of braces messed up.

> I'm built fat, getting closer to bearmode. Play rugby, physical job, powerlifting. Addicted to HoN during this timeline.

>I'd go over to her house twice a week for a couple hours and one on one teach her highschool math, she was a ditsy airhead but had moments of lucidity and intelligence. Idk if she really needed a tutor or not because she caught onto everything instantly.

>she was living with her aunt who would come home when I was tutoring and was always trying to pay me, but to be honest.I was such a bitch that I said "we'll wait till the end of school when she passes".

>after a couple months what was just kinda joking around and small talk turned into some pretty good flirting, long eye contact, sitting closer to eachother, footsy. I'd leave every day with those painful, trapped in your jeans ragers, like 110% full on skin tearing boners

>after ~3 months she finishes the semester and passes.

>week or so after she texts me "hey I got you a present for all you did for me, come over today around noon

>I get to her house, she's super bubbly and basically bouncing withevery step. I'm just thinking give me the shitty small amount of money you decided im worth so I can leave with blue balls and go feel bad about myself

>I'm standing in the kitchen and she says "close your eyes I have to go get your surprise!, if you open them you won't get it". At this point I'm like, wtf did she get me? Like I literally had no idea.

Cont.

>>646026302

that's my wife you little pissant.

>an hiro would be best option

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>>646021240
Banged a chick with some stank puss. I did it more than once.

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>>646027306
>that's

>>646027261

Hurry!

>>646023915
Soooo loooooooong
We wish you well.

>>646024820
>fuck while in water
Read a book.

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>>646021240
fucked a coworker. She was an employee and I was a contractor, so whatever, fair game. Made things fairly akward around the office.

She had shit for tits (literally FLAT chest except for pointy nipples) but a hot ass. she shaved her pubes into a heart. Terrible in bed though.

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>>646027261

bumping for bumping

>>646027261
Bumping for this

>>646022708
fucking jody

>>646021240

>got really close to girl
>we'll call her Jess
>solid 8/10
>got interested in another girl tho(Kate)
>friend zoned that bitch
>she is pretty crushed about it
>tell my friend to get with Jess
>they start talking
>things are going really well
>me and Kate fuck for a while then split
>I get job where Jess works
>start talking to her again
>she cuts off friend w/ no warning
>friend doesn't know its bc of me kek
>end up fucking Jess for about a month
>leave her
>get into actual emotional relationship w/ Jess and Kate's best friend
>after about 6 months I take her virginity
>am now engaged to new girl w/ pretty perfect life now

>>646022071
beacuse she was a cunt! cant you read?

>got really close to girl
>we'll call her Jess
>solid 8/10
>got interested in another girl tho(Kate)
>friend zoned that bitch
>she is pretty crushed about it
>tell my friend to get with Jess
>they start talking
>things are going really well
>me and Kate fuck for a while then split
>I get job where Jess works
>start talking to her again
>she cuts off friend w/ no warning
>friend doesn't know its bc of me kek
>end up fucking Jess for about a month
>leave her
>get into actual emotional relationship w/ Jess and Kate's best friend
>after about 6 months I take her virginity
>am now engaged to new girl w/ pretty perfect life now

>>646027261
pls cont.

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most of the women I've fucked I "shouldn't" have

*I was married

* or she was married

* most often both of us were married

* and whores

that's a lotta "fucked that I shouldn't have"

>>646021240
What movie is that pic from? Or is it just some kinky shit a couple did?

>be me, 18, virgin
>go to stoner friend's 18th
>smoke a shiton of weed
>friend and friend's gf want to stay at my place since I live near
>friend's gf keeps making fishbowls
>everyone gets fucked up, I collapse in my bed
>friend's gf comes into my room with friend
>he's unconcious
>friend's gf starts getting frisky
>we fuck till dawn 2 feet from her bf in the same bed

>>646028385
that hurt to watch...why boner.

>>646021240
>Be me
>Be timetraveller
>Travel 12 years back in time
>Time machine is fueled with alcohol
>Every time you travel with it you get drunk
>Blackout
>Wake up next to fat, ugly troll
>Oh no..
>Get tested
>Get HIV, herpes, chlamydia etc...
>Travel back to the present
>Not much have changed except huge faggot called OP now exist
>MFW I created OP
>MFW there is no face

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>>646022455
>She didn't like when I told her to do her job

yep, that's the way they play it.

I have two friends who are grils who fucked their boss's. Both are pretty down to earth grils. Both said, "now that I've fucked my boss I don't need to do any work. I have to remind him of that"

>that's why you don't fuck the help

>or why you fire her a week later

>Be me
>18th birthday
>Go upstairs
>Jack off
>Uncle sees me
>We start fucking, both drunk as shit
>Next day friend asks why i let a man in his 30s fuck me.
>Think of suicide.
>Fuck it.

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>>646027261

fuck it, I'll finish for anon.

>then I start thinking maybe I'm gonna get my dick wet
>maybe it's all about to pay off
>then she hands me this envelope
>it's got a "THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING" card
>with a $5 bill

>five fucking dollars for over 200 hours of free tutoring

FML

>>646021240
I just posted this but this seems like an appropriate thread to post it in again. I have the green text saved. It's semi long

>be me, 21 almost 22
>rent 2 bdrm apt with friend
>i work days, he works nights so it works out being that we both have a lot of alone time in the apt
>be random weekday, get off work at around 11pm (retail fag here)
>normally stay up till about 3 or 4am seeing as I don’t go in until like 2 or 3 pm the next day
>head outside to our little balcony thing (we’re upstairs) and smoke a bowl.
>lifeisgood.png
>take my time smoking my weed, messing with my phone, yknow, doing my regular unwinding shit.
>smoke a cigarette to solidify my relaxation and to air out the weed smell a bit before going inside.
>head inside and play some sm4sh because it had just come out around this time.
>beat some waifu-rosalina/lucina fags into the ground with this pk dick
>feeling accomplished so I head outside to smoke a bit more.
>like 12:30 or so.
>start to smoke and I hear this voice, “excuse me? hello?”
>wtf its late, stop being so loud.
>stand up to peer over balcony ledge and see this woman, lets call her Red. about 27-30 standing down on the walkway, staring up at me.
>i’m high and wasn’t really expecting her to be trying to get MY attention so I dont’ really know what to say so I say “uhh hey”
>she says “heh awkward… so how has your night been?”
>wtf
>look down, see Red is holding a tall can of natty ice
>this bitch must be drunk.

Cont.?

>>646027261
Hihi

>I hear her run to her room and she came back around ~30 seconds later, idk. long enough for me to wonder wtf she was getting.

>she comes back and she's like "ok keep your eyes closed, I'm putting something on you". Felt like she was wrapping me in toilet paper, she's just giggling the whole time and I'm starting to get angry.

> I said "this is dumb can I open my eyes now?", she's giggling still and she's like "seriously 2 seconds and I'll be done, keep them closed"

>she finished whatever the fuck she was doing to me. Then calmly says "ok keep your eyes closed until I say".

>then from what feels like almost a few inches from my face she giggles and says "open them."

>she's completely naked standing about a foot away from me with a huge shit eating grin. I'm covered in party banners and ribbons and shit

>pulled her into me by her hips, we made out in her kitchen for a bit. FINALLY got to squish that bubble butt.

>throw her over my shoulder, carry her into her bed. Take my clothes off and she starts jerking me off while we kiss

>ask if she has a condom "yup I stole it from my auntie teehee". Holy fuck.

>get her on her hands and knees, instantly arches her back and pushes back to me.

>work it in half way, she's just moaning by this point. "omg you're really big"

>fucked for about 3 minutes until the condom broke. Made out while she gave me handy and I did the old around and under. Until her aunt came home half hour later.

she wanted more after too and my conscience just wouldn't let me.

>>646030440
fuck off this might turn out interesting

>>646030580
Cont.

>”my nights been pretty good, how about yours?” said I
>”its been ok, I’m staying with my mom who lives here over the weekend… blah blah blah what the fuck ever” said Red “... and I’m too drunk to go inside right now”
>my brain is now working in overtime being high and trying to be smooth here.
>”you can come up here and chill with me for a bit while you sober up, I don’t mind.”
>you can almost tell thats what she wanted from the start because she made her way up quick.
>open the door, she comes in and flops on the couch.
>”i hope you don’t mind. My mom drives me crazy and I have to be here for thanksgiving blah blah blah, couldn’t take her anymore so I had to go and have a couple drinks, blah blah blah.”
>that sucks I guess? go outside for a cigarette. Red sees my bong.
>”oh you smoke? I do too a little bit.”
>this bitch wants to take my weed.
>”i’ll trade you a xanax bar for a bowl.”
>wtf, uhh yes.
>we smoke a bowl, pocket xanax for later. I’m tryna get my fuck on now.
>go inside and shes saying how nice I am for letting her in and all this stuff.
>sit on the couch and she lays down, her head opposite of me with her legs over my lap.
>running my hand up her legs as we talk, pretty normal bullshit.
>Red kinda looks down the couch at me and says, “I’m not a big fan of one night hookups” out of nowhere.
>being high and horny, i just kinda…. blurt out “well what the fuck have I been doing this for?”
>ohfuck
>well there goes my chances for sure now.
>”Would you really want to have sex with me, anon?”
>try and be as alpha as I can “Not too sure who wouldn’t.” trying to play it off as completely intentional
>”oh… well then…” she gets up and takes off her shirt, exposing her bra. She didn’t have huge tits but they were perky.
>take my shirt off and start making out with her, moving my hands to unlatch her bra and pull it away.

>>646030440
Kek

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>>646030370

are you gril or faggot anon?

>>646030809
Cont.

>suck on them titties while she runs her fingers through my hair.
>shes moaning.
>Red says “anon… i have 2 more of those xanax and I keep them here. (points to her crotch) You should try and find them”
>she said there was a little seam she puts them in, on the pants themselves like I was actually going to give a fuck about finding them
>unbutton pants and put my hand down her pants, using the back of my hand to press on her pussy through her panties.
>shes moaning again. “they must’ve gotten in my underwear” while biting her lip.
>pull her panties forward and feel her hot exposed pussy with the back of my hand again. Red is going crazy, humping my hand.
>my dick is diamonds
>she stands up and pulls her pants and panties all the way off. shes exposed in front of me.
>fuck shes hot
>she leans in and kisses me while unbuttoning my pants.
>pulls my pants down and my dick flies freely from the fly in my boxer shorts and almost hits her in the face.
>I don’t have a huge dick but its a little larger than average i guess?
>smiles and licks the tip.
>i’mgonnadie.webm
>in one motion she wraps her lips around my dick and slides down my shaft.
>dude, shes not stopping.
>continuing to push my dick deeper into her mouth, until i feel the head of my dick hit the back of her throat
>she looks up teary eyed and I’m not sure how I lasted past that.
>I’m gonna marry this bitch
>pulls my dick out of her mouth and smiles at me.
>itstime.jpg
>bend her over the arm of the couch and rub the head of my cock, still wet from her spit along her shaved pussy.
>slowly push the head in
>fuck its tight.

>>646030922
faggot obv.

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>>646030580
>Cont.?

fuck no, do NOT continue you attention whore faggot.

>shit or get of the pot

>tell the story or don't

>but do NOT be a goddamn little /b/itch about it

>>646030922
Faggot.

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>>646031064
cont.


>start pushing the rest of the way in, I feel her squeezing me hard, trying to hard to milk my dick.
>she needs to be bred
>suddenly start slamming my cock into Red
>she doesn’t expect it and quickly starts yelping
>I’m really blasting this bitch.
>I honestly only remember fucking a bitch like this one other time
>Not even the IRS could fuck someone this hard.
>shes drenched, pussy juice is literally dripping off my balls
>Red starts panting “i’m gonna… i’m gonna…”
>”me too, are you on the pill?”
>”no, but pump your seed inside me, I want to have your baby, make this pussy yours forever!”
>oh no… I can’t help it… it was too hot… I didn’t want to but it was too much. I filled Red’s tank to full. Spurt after spurt of my cum, gushing into her womb as she spasms on my cock.
>i pull my dick out and see a squirt of cum drip out of her red, swollen pussy
>oh fuck. I just came in this bitch with no birth control or condom on…. fuck fuck fuck
>she passes out for like and hour or so while I figure out what to do.
>almost as if I came back to my senses after i busted a nut. wake her up around 3:30.
>tell her that room mate is coming home and shes all groggy from being half awake and still high/drunk
>she stumbles her way out and I’m alone again.
>thinking about getting this random chick prego
>lose job and have to move back home by the end of the year
>recently, I heard from the neighbor who I became friends with that lived below us that she came back and was looking for me, knocking on all the doors in teh complex, trying to find me… holding a baby.
>Realize the bitch knows only my first name, not even how to spell it.
>Realize I have a child that I’ll never know.
>Take her coochie xanax and chill.
>mfw I got away with not paying child support.

Thats my story, /b/. Just wanted to share.

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>>646030720

ah yes, once again anon is faggot.

>as always

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>>646031177
Fuck off faggot. I'm copy pasting the prewritten block I wrote out in a word document. Go shitpost elsewhere fucking queer

good stuff anon

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>>646031177
>anon actually contributing OC
>is a shitter about it

Kill yourself

>>646022455
>>646028791

>>646023529
Hello Sidney Harb

>>646031475
Meh I started banging a little 90lb 18 year old after.

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>>646031377
Damn, anon.

>>646031377
Fake and gay. They can't find out who's name was on the rental agreement or who sent checks to the landlord?

>>646028385

Shit that startled me more than anything in my life.

Fuck this shit. Shit.

>>646033113
Not fake, I made less money than room mate so I paid him and he paid the rent with his checks. Not only that but do you think the apt complex would release my information to some random bitch complaining about getting knocked up by some guy that used to live there?

Yea fucking right. We also don't know. Maybe should could find out if she went to the authorities.

But she hasn't. And if she has, I don't know about it yet.

>>646033113
You can choose to believe it or not. Doesn't matter to me. Not going to change that it happened tbh fam

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>>646033111
Kek. Yea well, I guess I have a bastard to be running around.

>>646022636
I am confuse

i befriended finger fucked and got head from a married cam girl totes for free

>>646022772
Lol what

>>646035459

free head from a whore.

>congrats anon

>>646022676
kill yourself

>>646023110
pic related?

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>>646021240
lack of greentext here
>went to aunt's village farm
>summer, so hot, nothing to do
>aunt is sexy, divorced
>aunt takes cares of animals all day long
>village very small, ~1k ppl
>i spend 24/7 with her, no nearby kids to play
>i like playing with her
>one night she decided to drink, celebration or smth
>gets drunk as fuck
>i touch the body, nothing moves
>i yell "AUNT" no response
>i sneak out of room
>i go to check the goats
>mfw a sexy female goat looks at me
>i fuck the goat for an hour, came multiple times
>went back, cleaned cock
>put aunt to sleep
>was fun summer but i regret loosing virginity to that sexy female goat

>>646028385
look spooky. sause?

>>646021240
can't tell if tiny dick or massive clit.

>>646031377
>Not even the IRS could fuck someone this hard
Kek'd, I like the cut of your jib in your little tale, son.

Now for mine:
>be 27, year ago
>live in multicultural neighborhood, pretty normal here, all is chill
>new family moves, neighborhood welcomes them, they're from Iran and strict Muslims but chill about it
>I offer to help them move stuff in, get documents sorted, they graciously accept, really nice family
>daughter (15) immediately caught my eye, Persian beauty like hory shet, she asks me for my phone number if she needs help with anything so I give it to her
>start talking via texts, innocent at first because I don't want to offend and don't expect nuthin', suddenly she asks "do you think I'm sexy?"
>ooookay, wat do, think for five long minutes, she texts " :( "
>but a sixpack of beer was already consumed on an empty stomach, and my rational judgment was overtaken
>text back that I do think she's sexy, add to it that I find girls like her very attractive
>"would you date me?"
>maybe, don't know you well enough yet, but perhaps
>"would you fuck me?"
>...danger zone, girl's underage for my country and I don't know her well enough
>alcohol: "JUST REPLY HONESTLY LOLZ"
>yes I would gladly (inb4 pedobear)
>picture message, no headscarf, winking face, and blouse opened to tease her cleavage
>allofmyyes.jpg

Cont.?

>Was 18
>Met girl in Friday gym class (they combine classes on Fridays).
>We talk, get her number.
>We chill, catch a movie.
>Next day she comes over after schools is out and we fuck like rabbits. We go for a solid 2 hours and a few rounds. No rubber.
>Pillow talk and she's cuddling on me
>She's talking about her classes, "yea I have blah blah blah"
>Stomach sinks, sounds like grade 9 classes
>"How old are you?"
>"14, why?"
>I played it cool for a while, realized she wasn't saying shit to anyone and kept banging her behind my gfs back throughout highschool
>She had the perkiest/nicest tits I will ever see. Not to mention legs for days.

>>646021240
sauce pls

>>646021240
I fuck my best friend

But she doesn't know.

Fucked a married woman for over half a year every weekend multiple times until they divorced. Guy tried to kill himself several times and is currently a recovering drug addict. I'm a shitty excuse for a human being because I left her after she refused to prove to me that she was telling the truth about being pregnant with my bastard (she was never pregnant). I mean really... who wants to have kids with a psycho whore who fucks around.

>>646036857
Lurkin, anon.

>>646021240
i fucked ur mom. now i have aids =/

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>>646031377
>>”no, but pump your seed inside me, I want to have your baby, make this pussy yours forever!”

sounds legit tbh

>pic related: 2legit2quit

>>646036857
continue anon
got my attention

>>646036857
post pic

>>646036857
I wanna read this but I have to go do shit uhhh. anon!

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>>646036857

>Cont.?

Fuck no, faggot.

Who on /b/ would like to see a greentext about sex?

>shit or get off the pot

>tell it or don't

>don't be a dramaqueen attentionseeking whore about it, /b/itch

>>646029116
You sound like you are shit.
White people / 10

>>646029511
hahha sure my neckbeardy, first lose 20 pounds.

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>>646037376
>never fucked a freak.
>girl was high and drunk.

Only virgins think women are incapable of dirty talk. How's your figurine collection coming, anon?

>>646036857
Cont.

>I like what I'm seeing, girl, show me more
>"make me ;)"
>I'm a fetishist, dom/sub thing is quite normal to me, and instinctively tell her to send it to me before I come over there and spank her ass red
>"yessss", perfect small tits, b-cup at the most, delicious golden skin
>good little whore, now show me your cunt
>"but it's not shaved, sir"
>I'm a fan of da muff, aw yis, tell her to spread her legs wide for me and I'll reward her with my dick
>"picture, or for real?"
>for real if I could, little girl
>no response, I'm kind of disappointed but alright, back to writing
>doorbell rings, and I'm there before she even takes her finger off the doorbell, I look at her with a stern look
>"excuse me, may I come in?"
>why, little girl, where are your parents?
>"they're away for the night, and I don't like to be alone"
>don't lie, what do you want
>she scuffles her feet, "I want you to take my virginity and use me for your pleasure, sir"
>this girl is a natural-born sub, it seems
>tell her to get inside and sit down on her knees in front of me, she does this without hesitation and with a look of joy in her eyes
>I ask her how she learned to like and do these things, she blushes and says her parents circumvented the national internet censor and she watched porn from a young age on her phone, especially fetish porn
>grew up bilingual, started reading about BDSM, wants to try it out with someone experienced
>so girl, you want your virginity taken by me?
>"yes sir, please, make me yours"

Cont.?

me a 40 yr was sleeping with a young 25 , she dumps me but i convinced her to take me back a few weeks later. fuck her and once done , i piss all over her than leave :)

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>>646031177
>>646038220

I posted it again! Im so le-funny.

Fuck off, you zit sucking, crusted penile discharge eating faggot

>>646038440

many grils talk dirty as fuck.

>only fake grils in letters to Penthouse Forum say "fill me wiht your seed and make me pregnant"

>lying faggot anon confirmed

>>646038976

continue, please

>surely you can do better than that

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>>646039220

>continue, please

>>646021582
The reason it was terrible is because 9 months later OP was born.

>>646038693
wut? O.o
still continue

>>646036339
Kek

>>646038803
meh
faggot!

>>646039111
>I'm going to win this internet argument

You sure showed me, anon. You caught me in a ruse.

Get fucking real. Just because your flashlight doesn't talk that way doesn't mean women don't. Where the fuck do you live? I live in a large city in CA. Is it that hard to believe that some women are sluts?

Let me guess, you've got the biggest dick your current girlfriend has ever had too? And she only had sex with like 2 guys before you too and they were both assholes.

Top kek anon

>>646034300
>>646031377
this is why you shouldn't smoke weed folks

>>646039558
kek!

fat chicks, a lot of fat chicks. I think that's why I became bisexual. I'm horny all the time but I'm way too lazy to have relationships with respectable girls.
Also boys are cute, and they don't bitch about everything all the time. except flambos, death to flambos.

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>>646036992

>>646039111
What's it feel like knowing you've never fucked a bitch into a primal state, anon? Feeling like a beta male yet?

2 weeks ago I fucked a co-worker that is dating someone who is currently working in India. I too started dating someone recently but we were both drunk and horny. She has massive tits.

I fucked the shit out of her and then took off my condom and came on her tits. After we both said that this was a one-off thing and our secret, cheeky bitch wanted to meet up again that weekend.

Luckily I'm on holiday for a couple of weeks so hopefully she will calm down.

Six years ago when I was still in university I barebacked my good friend/housemates girlfriend on the hood of a car during Halloween.

>>646040164
So you don't end up with illegitimate babies?

Fucked my friend's sister on the couch in his room while he was passed out in another room

>be me 17 years old

>>646040405

is she indian?

>love me my desi sluts

>>646038693
Man you lost the suspension of disbelief. Work on your short story and try again. C-