The kitchen is opening in 30 minutes. Let's prepare well, yeah? We are going
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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
The kitchen is opening in 30 minutes. Let's prepare well, yeah? We are going to have a lot of celebrities and VIP guests tonight. We are changing up the menu and we cannot fuck this up. Chefs, your stations are up to you. I want at least 2 people on entrées, 2 on desserts, 3 on fish, and 2 on fucking beef wellingtons. Don't disappoint me. Get on your stations, let's go.
>>613889458
It's chevs.
also bumping
Chef who does appetizers?
>>613889591
Oi, cunt. If I wanted your opinion on grammar I'd fucking ask you.
>>613889769
Can you fucking read? Jesus Christ.
I'll have the special
Pulled pork with a side of mash potatoes and popcorn
25 minutes till dinner service. What is going on?!? I don't know if you donkeys realise what is going on. We're not going anywhere! Get it together!
>>613890214
Kitchen's not open yet. Fuck off.
Lol, you are pretending to be Gordon Ramsay as if this thread was Hell's Kitchen, I get it :^)
>>613889458
Ill take one of the entrée stations chef
Bad news, chef. The delivery truck from the seafood company is stuck in traffic on the Jersey Turnpike and won't be here until after 8:25. The hostess hasn't shown up yet, no call. There's an old Ford Ranger truck in the parking lot with a county health department sticker on it, the toilet in the ladies room is clogged with used tampons and the dipshit that wrote our new menus spelled "Salmon" without the "L".
Just thought you'd want to know.
>>613890781
Observent little fucker, aren't you?
Oh, shit, did I fuck it up?
SHIT! I've burnt myself chef. and the pork's everywhere!!!
>>613891336
Get it together you fucking CUNT!!! Jesus! You're supposed to be a fucking chef, yes? Let's go...come on. 17 minutes till dinner. Jesus Christ.
>>613891041
Bullshit. Fox won't allow that to happen on this show.
5 minutes on those potatoes chef!
>>613891853
WHY ARE YOU COOKING POTATOES YOU FUCKING CUNT?!?!?!? You want people to eat cold potatoes you piece of shit. GET THE FUCK OUT!
We finished the Pork chef, do we win?
>>613891707
This ain't Fox, cupcake.
Look, chef, those health inspectors don't look too friendly. It's only a matter of time before they et to the ladies room and that tampon clog-of-doom.
The seafood driver called back and said he's making better time and might be here by 8:05, but he'll need a little something extra added to the invoice. He IS from New Jersey, you know.
I called the hostess. She's drunk again. Aimee can fill in but she's coming from her grandmother's place in Hoboken, so she may be a bit late.
What's going on in here? what's with all the yelling?
>>613892417
>>613892417
Ramsay,..... I can do something about the health inspectors.
>>613892417
Jesus Christ. Jean Pierre will take over and handle these problems. Seafood is being prepped we are fine with that. Aimee can fuck off, she's done. Fuck the toilets, they don't involved the cooking. And fuck you, you cunt. Bringing these problems to me now, when you've known about them all day. You're in fucking denial.
i cut my dick off again
Chef can jet fuel melt steel beams ?
>>613892907
I hope you burn, you fucking cunt.
>>613893443
Im sorry chef I tried so hard.. its my dream to be the best im just happy to be here ill do better next time just give me a chance
>>613892927
Well, somebody sure as fuck needs to do something about them. I know you back-of-house folks think you're the only swinging dicks around here, but I could use an occasional hand running the front end, you know.
Aimee called, she's caught in traffic. Apparently some buzzbomb full of Guidos rear-ended a seafood truck on the bridge and traffic is bungled up fuck all.
By the way, tell the dishwasher on swing shift that it might be nice if he actually washed the fucking dishes once in awhile. The salad plate at 4G had a dried on chunk of...something...that was big enough to see from the hostess stand. It looked like a booger.
5 minutes till service. Are you fuckers ready?!? Entrées? Fish? Yeah? Let's go.
I'm expecting my order to be on my plate as soon as possible as I am a very important person.
So where is my kids menu all I see is the adult ones?
OKAY CHEF, I STIRRS DA BEANS.
Sorry I'm late chef, where do you need me?
>>613893907
JUST GET IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN AND COOK!!! YOU FUCKING USELESS DONKEY!!!
>>613893710
>>613893753
Permission to give the health inspectors cake chef?
Bitches love cake
>>613894030
Yes chef, sorry chef. I'll get right on the potatoes!
CHEF CAN JET FUEL MELT STEEL BEAMS ?
Do you like my lovely fruits, chef?
>>613894171
Give 'em the fucking cake, man. I'm the manager, I say let them have it. Anything to get them off our asses until chef is over his heavy flow day.
>Doors are open and B's Kitchen is going. The vips are seated and ready to eat.
Alright, first order. 3 scallops, 2 risotto, and one special salad. Let's go, yeah?
Chef I think I've overcooked my risotto
;_;
>>613894585
4 scallops chef, watch your back, plate's hot.
Chef I accidentally raped one of the vips
>>613894721
Come here, fat boy. You sort it out right now, yeah? YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FUCK MY KITCHEN TONIGHT! One more fuck up and it's back to fucking KFC for you, you goddamn cunty shit eater!
>>613894585
Gonna need another minute on the special salad, chef. I'm just extracting the special sauce, now.
>>613894585
>>613894585
>>613894849
special salad is done chef along with the risotto
>>613894995
Yes chef sorry chef
;_;
pls no more yell
>>613894585
Almost done with that risotto chef
>>613894849
Oi, shit face. Are you deaf? 4 scallops. Jesus fucking Christ. Get it together, woman. WHERE ARE MY RISOTTOS!!!!!!!?????
20 minutes on the scallops.
>>613894585
one extra special salad coming right up cheff WOOAHHH LIKE xDDDDD hahaha
Beef weliton is cooked chef
>>613895229
Done with the risotto chef!
Chef im sorry i fucked up my 2nd batch of Risotto
;__;
Where the fuck is my risotto that i put in my pan a minute ago
>>613895063
>>613895118
>>613895213
All of you come here, yeah that's you as well, Sarah. This risotto...is perfect. Good. Order out.
Holy Shit!!!!
The Tomatoes exploded!!!!
Chef
Sarahs scallops are fucking raw
IT'S RAAAAAAAAAAW
>>613895659
What do we do next, chef?
Whurr do I place my order fo' da dollah menu? Yall niggas take EBT up in hurr?
>>613895958
Oi, fucker. You wait for me, yeah? I'll work the pass, you cook the food, yes? Fuck off.
>>613895659
Yes, Chef! Have some tits, Chef.
I actually met Gordon not that long ago,
Really really nice guy, nothing like how he is on screen.
Really funny, really softly spoken and a good bloke.
10/10 would go fishing with
Ayy lemme git a number three wiff a purple drank and super size dat sheeit, know-what-ahm-sayin
Let's get going on those mains, people! 2 Beef Wellingtons, Soup special - hold the garlic, and 3 fish. Let's FUCKING COOK!
Chef spiderman reporting for duty! I made a spider steak laced with web, I think our guests will really love this dish!
Chef, OP just enter the restaurant and order 4 pieces of cocks
>>613889458
Okay 3 minutes for risotto Chef
>>613896301
Thanks, big boy.
20 minutes on that fish Chef!
>>613896450
Just makin sure the fish are fresh chef!
1 beef wellington ready in 5 minutes
>>613896568
OI!!! Come here, you. Fucking risotto? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?
chef i have a prepared on the side of chef i have a dead corpse in the o ven
>>613896880
>>613896568
I swear to God, you are a fucking joke. What the fuck is this?
>>613896880
Hold on 1 minute Chef risotto is almost ready.
>>613894490
>>613889458
The health inspectors tip cash!
their coming in do we give them seat 9K?
None of you faglords have any idea how a real kitchen runs do you.
I've made some chocolate milk if anybody wants it.
1 beef wellington ready in 3 minutes
Chef, OP just came in ordering 4 pieces of cocks. But we're all out of cocks.
>>613897077
thanks, chef
>>613897073
Like this is a real kitchen. Get the fuck outta here you shitty shit. Always has to be one dick hole.
So this is how they script new seasons of Hell´s Kitchen.
>>613896450
1 Beef Welling well done, Soup special with holy water, and 3 wishes? Huh? Whachoo talkin' bout, Chef?
Special soup hold the garlic ready in 45 fucking minutes when while we cook a special batch for that asshole.
>>613897073
Please rectify our ignorence, Mistress of all kitches.
>>613897077
Shit I mixed the chocolate milk wit the soup chef
>>613896450
>>613893853
Did that potato cut his own hair? Fucker looks like Stewie from Family Guy.
Chef, I'm working on that soup, about to drop the special sauce.
>>613896450
Uhh chef...I think we have a problem...
>>613896774
>>613896848
>>613897121
Oh my god, what the hell is this. Come here! ALL OF YOU!!!! Look at this...cold as a fucking witch's tit in the middle of fucking winter! And...AND...IT'S FUCKING RAW!!!!!!! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST FOR GODS SAKE GET IT TOGETHER!!! You've fucked this whole order! Do it again!!!!
>>613889458
Sorry I'm late chef. I'll get right to cooking.
Chef, OP is screaming because no one gave him cocks yet
>>613897403
>ignorence
>kitches
>>613897648
Working on catching that fish for you, Chef.
Kek we should do this more often
Chef remember when
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxy1d0g2GcQ
Chef Kate Gosselin has ordered a Tartiflette Toy, which is Tartiflette with Yorkshire Terrier tails.
>>613897648
WHERE IS THE FISH?!?!?!? You are sinking this kitchen because you refuse to ask for help. Jesus...fish.
Chef, I quit.
Chef! We have run out of chocolate moose
>>613897961
Firing veil now Chef!
>>613897439
>>613897819
Fine, then someone has to give him mouth full
fuck you guys!
>>613897710
[Inspects anon preparing wrong dish skeptically]
>>613897878
Literally crying. That is amazing. A bit strokey, but good.
>>613897405
YOU WHAT! YOU RUINED MY MASTERPIECE!
>>613897961
I smell fish, chef
>>613897439
FUCKHT YOU, FUCHKER! I KIK YR ASSSH!
>>613898186
Ye Its slowed down to sound funny
he sounds like fucking ozzy osbourne
>>613897961
Here's the fish sprinkled with pepper
Op's satisfied btw
>>613897961
Fresh snapper coming right up, Chef.
CHEF OP IS SCREAMING LIKE CRAZY FOR HIS COCKS
WAT DO CHEF
WE AINT GOT NO COCKS
Still waiting on soup, wellingtons, and fish. Jesus this kitchen is shot to shit. 8 minutes to get it together, or you know what happens then.
Labrador poccine going in the microwave now, 2 minutes chef
>>613889458
>There had better be some damn good tea with this
chef on the menu chef there is a bigscotti chef i need biscotti on this plate chef
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THE FISH!?
>>613898358
Well fuck me for not knowing the difference between Chocolate milk and soup, it was an honest mistake live with it.
>>613898745
Soup's coming up chef
>>613898928
die in a fire. i'm going to try a new recipie
TABLE 2'S FOOD IS READY, GO, GO, GO!
on the menu chef there is a bigscotti chef i need biscotti on this plate chef
>>613898896
>>613898745
Shit well then get Shara to do it
Wellington's are done chef!
I THINK CHEFS WALKED OUT GUYS
FUCK
WHAT DO WE DO
WHAT DO WE DO
ABORT
ABORT ABORT ABORT
FUCK
FUCK
FUC
FUCK
IT';S RAW
RAWR
AWR
AW
R
AW
R
AW
R
AWR
>>613899218
chef i accidentally the wellington
>>613899148
Phew. It's done.
I hope nobody knocks it over
>>613898583
>>613899004
>>613899218
I'm still trying to figure out where you went wrong with the first attempt, but this is good. Order out. Keep it up! One more order. I'm not looking for learners, I'm looking for leaders. Who will step up to the plate?
Entrées are redeee
>>613899411
YOU ATE THE WELLINGTON YOU FUCK
>>613899411
Wellington's are delicious. I don't blame you.
>>613899479
>>613899148
Fine then be that way I hope it tastes like shit
*knocks it over*
>>613899291
i will take over as chef.
we need 30 pounds of french fries, and a 10 gallon bucket of cole slaw.
also 2 beef wellingtons.
Okay. Now i need to put this in the microwave.
>>613899004
>>613899480
Soup's done chef!
fish is done chef!
>>613899627
YOU STUPID FUCK. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.
(fuck. where did I put that fucking thing)
Dessert order up! I need 3 chocolate mousse milksouis, 2 cranberry meringues, and carmalised pineapple. Let's go people!!!
Ah, Chef, we might have a problem with this oven.
Sundance.
chief the wild nigger is out of the freezer again and he ate the fired chicken i just made
>>613899697
Manager-chef-sir i think that's a gag order probably from OP
One chocolate moose ready chef!
>>613899880
ITS COLD YOU FUCKING DONKEY
>>613900338
the problem is there is a nigger hand on the oven
Pinapple's done!
>>613900193
But chef what in the world is a
>cranberry meringues
>>613900387
You filthy pig! You FILTHY FRENCH PIG!!! What the fuck is wrong with you?!?!? I SAID MOUSSE MILKSOUIS!
>>613890484
Hwhat the hell did you just say about me, you giblet head? I’ll have you know I’m the only assistant manager of the best propane business around, and I’ve been involved in numerous propane emergencies, and I have over 300 confirmed saves. I am trained in propane accessories and I’m the top employee in our little company. You are everything to me, not just another customer. I will wipe propane tanks the heck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my got-dang words. You think you can get away with saying that crap to me over the Internet? Think again, buster. As we speak I am contacting the propane commissioner across the USA and your transaction is being traced right now so you better prepare for the meaty goodness, sir. The meaty goodness that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your taste buds. You’re using propane now, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can save your life in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in propane related accidents, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Propane Association and I will use it to its full extent to make sure that you leave our establishment with the new Vogner King grill. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your dang tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will convice you why propane Is better and you will consider the benefits of it. Taste the meat, not the heat, kiddo.
>>613900193
Working on this meringue chef
>>613900588
Well i wonder who put that there
>>613900653
He means merengue, stupid
also you miiiiight want to watch out, some guy is running around with a bananna gun.
>>613900193
Chef, here's the chocolate ass cream you requested.
>>613900588
Fuck, we better catch it before the health inspector sees.
>>613900193
What part of the Mouse do uou want chef?
>>613900875
FUCK!!
I cut myself ITS BLEEEDING!!
>>613900193
>>613900824
Cranberry meringue is done chef!
Fresh outta chocolate milk, how about a butter pecan Puerto Rican, Chef?
>>613900949
i told you asses he ran out of the frezzer ate all of the fried chicken in the oven, and chopped of his hand
>>613900653
You call yourself a fucking chef and you can't do a cranberry meringue? Jesus Christ lad, there's not hope for you. You're done. Get out.
>>613900875
I suggest you do something about him cuz the health inspectors watching
>>613901421
I'll be back in just a sec
Still looking for peanuts, chef. pic related
'Scuse me, don't mean to bother you but I have a bit of a dirty fork.
>>613901361
B-b-but c...chef Im sorry.... Pleas give me another chance t-tt-this is all i have
Jesus CHRIST!!! Did I expect too much of you to do 3 simple orders? We've got black people running wild in the kitchen. Some Puerto Rican in the soup AND CHEFS WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO FUCKING SPELL MERINGUE!!! HOW THE FUCK CAN I SERVE FOOD WITH A KITCHEN LIKE THIS? You're all a bunch of fucking donkeys. And now, you know what? We're shutting it down.
SHUT IT DOWN!
I've NEVER been more embarrassed in my life. YOU LOT ARE A FUCKING DISGRACE!!!
Thanks for playing gang, that was fun. Op signing off.
>There may be more from B's kitchen, but probably not.
>>613902083
New song called "Fuck Gordon Ramsay" coming soon guys. -Lil B
>>613902083
What about the dishwasher?
>>613902083
Chef, I'd like to remind you: i did my part correctly.
>>613901811
Get out weabo
>>613902083
You know what it was all that Bitch Sara's fault she cant do shit right
>>613902083
Wheres my Beef Wellington ?
>>613889458
Here has go
chef where is my french fries you prick i rang it in 20 minutes ago i need 30 pounds
Fuck you chef! Let's take this outside you pussy.
>>613903038
French fries! In MY fucking restaurant!? Does this look like a fucking fast food joint? FUCK OFF
good news guys. i killed chef. prepare his ribs we have an order up
Did I do good chef?
>>613903540
You having a laugh, mate? You think you can fill the shoes of Ramsay?
And we never actually managed to kill the nigger...
