>>613852074
fuck this i'm moving out

Sorry man, my cat ended up on my dick, with its anushole.

I AM NAKED

Johnny keeps trying to fuck it, I think it ran away.

>>613852074
in the corner sleeping! why did you eat my fucking bagel bites??!!!!

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My cat's here, dunno where yours went.
Also who's got drugs?

>>613852200
BETTER PUT SOME CLOTHES ON BEFORE OP SWALLOWS YOUR DICK

Which of you fuckers ate my sandwich?

Do your fucking dishes pussy.
Quit leaving food on the floor.

>>613852352
i didnt eat it, but i fucked it

>>613852352
only sandwich i'm eating is your moms

>>613852392
i left ur mom on the floor

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>>613852074
who ate my chimmichanga

Did anyone remember to pay the light bill?

>>613852514
i lit up your moms pussy

>>613852329
NO YOU FAGGIT

Guys my moms about to stop by, please don't try to fuck her. Niggers!

Moot here, i'm tired of being called cuck and faggot, im leaving this home today, sorry anons

>>613852074
QUIT TAKING ALL THE FUCKING BANDWIDTH

SUBWOOFERS ARE FOR CARS NOT YOUR ROOM, MORON

listen guys... I dont mind if you eat my bread... but if you're going to eat it all at least buy another loaf...

>>613852578
>implying someone wants to fuck that monster
>implying you're not an experiment

dammit anon

What the fuck, why is there cum on my laptop.

>>613852749
sorry your mom and i got a little too wild last night

>>613852749
because i couldnt find mine

Why the fuck are the dishes not done?

>>613852074
I think all these chicks you're bringing home have dicks. It's starting to get weird man. And what was with that kindergartner you had with you the other day? Is that your niece or something?

Oh shit the cats back.....

WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KEYS

Give me money since none of you faggot autists are going to remember to pay the bills and for fucks sake clean up after yourselves at least once a week. Now who wants a beer?

I'm taking a shit guys. Please don't make noises outside of the door cause I get nervous

>>613852941
She told me she was 18 so it's cool.

What the fuck happened to my shirt?

I off to score some crack, does anyone want me to pick some up for them?

Hey! We're out of toilet paper. I'm using your towel.

Anyone want to fuck me in the ass?

>>613853223

Some Meth bro.

>>613853156
18 months maybe, she got fingerpaint all over my goddamn laptop. Please tell me that was fingerpaint...

Get rid of those piss bottles you nigger

Did somebody use my fucking fleshlight again?

Who stole my change?

>>613852074

Alright guys, FBI just called, something about children and possession, so who was it?

>>613853399

>being the best fat guy with autism she ever met

>stay nigger /B/

>>613853443
Yeah sorry anon, I came on a tissue so it's alright.

>>613853672
god damnit, i knew it tasted...off

>>613853672
Oh shit the same tissue ops trap came in? She has aids bro!

>>613853351
You have to sort me out though, for getting it

>>613853622
That's just Chris and his silly prank calls.

>>613853924
heres 50 dollars pick up 10 lsd tabs pls

>>613853622
See:
>>613853156

Listen, i dont know who it is that keeps doing this, but if youre gonna shit in the sink, at least get rid of it when youre done.

>>613854323
I'll stop if you pay back my money.

What the fuck it that?

>>613854551
it was $2 nigger, go find it in the couch cushions or something

>>613854898
Who you calling nigger? Remember what happened last time you said that to me faggot?

>>613852234
hey that cat was giving me some pretty damn strong signals, tell that whore to get of my dick

>>613855080
yea, i had to crack the whip and put you back in your place

>>613854140
The guy only has liquid, its on sugar cubes though, do you still want it?

https://soundcloud.com/arcek/arcek-psykovsky-dont-stop-me-now-psykovsky-we-will-rock-you-extended-version-2014

HEIL HITLER, GAS ALL THE JEWS

>>613855235
ooh you wanna use that whip on me, master?

The fuck am I? How'd I end up in this Cuntfarm? Let me the fuck out before I bust one of you for good.

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GODFUCKINGDAMMIT IM TRYING TO DRINK AND WATCH BASEBALL IN THE BASEMENT!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FAGGOTS!!

>>613855659
Oh, hey anon. How was your day? Kill any jews?

>>613855700
You were knocked out, check your asshole nigger!

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OPs room is hoppin yo.

>>613855705
C...can I join you? I'm really lonely...

Hey bro I fucked your girlfriend and smoked all your weed can you buy me food

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>>613856200
Kill this nigger.

>>613856058

Yeah, but do you mind rolling a blunt? I'm dry, but I'll throw you some whisky. The phils are killing it right now and I dont wanna leave to go pick up.

>>613856008
You fuckers, jokes on you guys I wasn't knocked out. Top fucking shag that m8 cheers a bunch.

>>613856200
Everbody has fucked her, but I fucked you, guess what I did with your tooth brush faggot.

>>613852074
I shat on your dads chest

>>613856366
Yeah, I gotcha. Smoke this shit while I go out to pick up some Mickey Dee's. You want anything?

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Let me Fuck your mom

>>613852074
*sits on computer at the desk in the living room for some reason, always in the way and never communicates with anybody while playing WoW from the time I wake up until about 7am*
*fills the sink with dishes, never does them or puts effort into cleaning myself, the surface around myself or the kitchen that I use to microwave 8 hot pockets a day when I'm not on campus to eat at the dining hall for 4 hours*
*every conflict with housemates is met with silence, and never discussed like an adult*
*you wonder how I'm going to pay the rent, but somehow the amount of money I get from financial aid and loans barely covers it.*
*you can't kick me out because I pay the rent, but that doesn't mean I can't be living excrement*

>>613855344
You must now bring me 70 of that shit just so every one gets some. I just got payed anyways. Who ate my fucking doritos

>>613852074
Did you guys hear about our new neighbors? Theyre the tumblr family, feminist mormons

>>613856808
Two mc doubles no pickles no onions and a large sprite. Thanks nigger

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>>613856808

word, heres a 20$ get me the fixings for a McGangbang and a dollar menu fry. get yourself whatever m8

That sure is a juicy cock, OP.

>>613857076

Kyle, get the fuck out of my room. You still owe me $14 for the last time we got BWW. Faggot. You couldn't even get that chicks #.

>>613856200
Fuck you nigger. I need you to gather your shit up and leave or ill be calling the police

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>>613857020
Uh... Guys... The police are at the door, I think the acid dealer was a sting.

Dude Kyle, you ate my mac n cheese.

Fuck you.

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>>613857076
>>613857112
Will do. Any of you other niggers want anything?

>>613857230
Who the fuck put this hidden camera in the bathroom?

>>613857455
I did

>>613857020
it was probably this fatass >>613856882

Hey anon I jerked you off in your sleep last night

>>613857512
Why? It's all dudes living here you faggot

>>613857060
sounds like it's time for a panty-raid!

>>613857372
Tell him no one's home!

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>>613857651
We'll at least you cleaned up well. No mess when I woke up. Still feel violated though.

>>613857435

Wait til he goes to sleep. Ima shave off his eyebrow and glue his hand to his forehead. Fucker should know not to be such an intrusive cockwrangler.

>>613857679
not all dudes, theres some cats here

Hey guys, guys g- guys lis- listen. Let's play a game where we pretend to work on an Imperial Star Destroyer...

>>613857451

could you snag another blunt on the way home? My dealer said he'd come through.

gay orgy when?

guys theres 5 hookers at the door looking for someone named "Anon"

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>>613857787
We're not home, we're all on holiday I'm afraid.

>>613858000

let's play a game where you SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM KEVIN

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>>613857944
Feed me nigger

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Whos little sister is this? Im going to let her sleep in my side of the basement. No one better come in. Are tge cops gone yet Ricky?

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HELLO ROOMIES. CARE TO SHOWER TOGETHER?

>>613858188
Here you go mr.wibbles

>>613858000
Fuck off Kev

>>613858069
Who invited this faggot? KEVIN WAS IT YOU?

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>>613858204
>>613858204
No they won't leave. I'm out of ideas I told them we're no here and we're on holiday

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>>613858249

Sure thing dick. Are donnie and his arab buddies joining us again for the schvitz?

>>613858000
Check'd

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we have a package from 9gag, its a shitty picture with 9gag.com on it

>>613858088
They're mine bro

Goes into side of basement the little girl is sleeping in

>>613852074
CARL ! Can you stop shitting purple ducks when i try to cut Linda's Dick with my teeth, it triggers me.

>>613858666
Devils trips confirmed

>>613852074
Why the fuck are there so many people in this house?

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>>613857076
>>613857112
>>613858031
I'm back. Couldn't find any rolling papers but I got a fresh quarter and my bowl.

FOODS HERE. COME GET YOUR SHIT NIGGERS

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>>613858735
Noice!

>>613858666

That's it kevin, I'm sick of you using up all the trips in this house. We're locking you under the stairs again and branding a lightning bolt on your forehead, this time.

>Time for the ol' harry potter

What the fuck is that smell and where is it coming from?

>>613858801
I GOT THE NUGGETS.. WHERE THE FUCK IS THE SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE?

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Hey, you guys see Nancy and Daniel anywhere?

>>613858529
Move it ricky Ill handle this

>>613857455
That's not mine but I'm gonna need the memory card back

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>>613858271
Thanks. Pet me now nigger.

>>613857451
Yeah, the anon who wanted no pickles or onions? Get his food with extra pickles and onions.

>>613858887
It's called almost quads, and it's coming from your pride

>>613858801
WHO THE FAKC TOOK MY ROYAL WITH CHEESE?!?!

>>613858801
I told you no pickles nigger... Don't go to sleep tonight, GAME ON!

HEY DID ANY OF YOU GUYS SEE THE LIFEHACK THREAD? I'M GONNA MAKE SOME COOL ROCKS!

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Yeah the walls are pretty thin I can hear everyone.

>>613852074
I am your new roommate Mohammad, I am from syria

>>613859249
>>>613852074 (OP)
Hey infidels, My name is Mohammad, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are ugly, goatless, infidels who spend every second of their day worshiping a false god. You are everything bad in the name of Allah. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any goat? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of us because of your own infidelities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to woman without hijabs. Don’t be an infidel. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much unstoppable. I was captain of the beheading ritual, and starter on my jihad . What gods do you worship, other than “god”? I also get straight clean cuts, and have a banging hot goatfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO maal). You are all infidels who should just kill yourselves in the name of Allah. Allahu Akbar infidels

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>>613858786
It's a squat good sir, enjoy your stay.
The police are still here by the way...

>>613859249
Kekd

>>613859249
greetings

no go home

>>613858897
>>613859047
>>613859070

Y'all niggas need to get the fuck out of my room. We're trying to watch baseball and get wasted. I'm not bankrolling your bullshit. Those nuggets were for Dave. He covered electricity this month.

>>613858997
Hold on mr. Wibbles im talking to the cops

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>>613858537

And we got a little known goyim as the pivot.

>>613852281
yea i have a whole ounce of shrooms but uh we should keep it on the dl

Someone at the door is asking for an Allie Ackbar

Did anyone watch game 7 clipper v spurs? That was a series to remember, man.

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>>613858897
>>613859070
YOU UNAPPRECIATIVE NIGGERS. NEXT TIME COME WITH ME OR WRITE YOUR SHIT DOWN. IM SO DONT WITH THIS SHIT.

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>>613859542
thats me

>>613859542
i think they want >>613859249

>>613859433

Nah chris doesn't live here anymore. He moved on to bigger and gayer things.

>last I heard it was HJs in the showers at the YMCA

>>613859607
CP3..... Is a nigger

>>613852074
Why the fuk does the dog has fur and catchup all over his mouth again?

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Anybody have any booze that I can buy?
Just come drop it off and I'll pay you.

HEY! TELL THE COPS NOT TO STOMP ON THE PORCH! OR TO LIGHT ANYTHING FLAMMABLE! OR TO LIFT THE FLAG ON THE MAILBOX!

I made it out of semtex.

>>613859221
Sorry. Hey anyone want to take 4 of the hookers i got? Theyre on me

*continues to fuck the 14 year old girl softly*

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>>613859751
Well, yeah, it's basketball

Its mohammad again, who fucked my goat?

>>613859878
Nice one Demolition Dave

>>613860069

you. lay off the DMT, jaffar

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>>613859420
Hurry up. Anon is trying to cut off my tail. I need cuddles and protection.

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i got work tomorrow /b/tards SHUT THE FUCK UP

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HEY GUYS HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS AWESOME NEW WEBSITE CALLED 4CHAN

>>613860069
Do we have any Walesfags here?

>>613859305
No i got the off our chest. They didnt have a warrent or probable cause. Just in case everyone should smoke all their shit tonight. *

Goes back to basement with someones little sister*

>>613860232
fuck off Kevin

Ayy quit eye fucking the kids next door faggot

>>613860232
Send me link?

WHO THE FUCK TOOK MARKS CIGS?? LUKE I'M LOOKING AT YOU, YOU FAT FUCK..

>>613852074
STOP LEAVING YOUR DIRTY FUCKING DISHES IN THE FUCKING SINK, AT LEAST RINSE THEM OFF IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO PUT THEM IN THE DISHWASHER.

fucking mohammad, stop beheading people in the bathroom and not cleaning it up

>>613860081
I had a Sunday to kill and a lot of coke.

Hey roomies I kinda fucked up, I used all your hard drive space on all your computers for my child porn. I didn't hide behind any proxies soooo pretty sure your all sex offenders now and the fbi will be coming soon. Sorry guys I'll chip in for groceries this week though on a good note.

>>613860434
Fuck no

I'M GONNA TAKE A DUMP IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS ROOM AND NOBODY WILL STOP ME

Hello guys, My name is katy, and I'm a trap

>>613860517
Hey man he gets off to that don't judge him I've seen the trap on your PC

>>613860166
come on mr.wibbles into my room let me just finish up with these two fine ladies

Who whants to go to the liquor store!
Seem like where all out!

If i go alone the liquor and beer are mine you thieving fucks!

>>613860434

lol we don't have a dishwasher. WHERE THE FUCK YOU BEEN PUTTING THE DISHES???

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Fuck... did you guys hear? Lenny's been arrested. He apparently raped some kids. Where the fuck is my inhaler?

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>>613860654

>>613860634
'Hammeds goat will eat that shit right out of your asshole

>>613860634
Aw come on man that's a nice carpet! It ties the room together man.

>>613860434
Dishwasher?! Me and anon took that to cashconverters last week, we wanted to get high, but Dw we've got it on by back, We're waiting for our benefits to pay us next week >.>

Who peed on my plant?

HEY! BRING YOUR DISHES TO THE KITCHEN! I'M GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THEM THIS TIME!

I found out a bleach/ammonia mixture does wonders for cleaning.

okay found this in the kitchen. who the fuck brought a girl ? srsly?!

we are fags

>>613860788
I wondered why we were putting dishes in the oven....

>>613860232
I thought someone had locked kevin under the stars damn it!

>>613860888

that stupid yellow cat.

>>613860917

OVEN??? That's the goddamn dryer! HAVE YOU LIVED INDOORS BEFORE??

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>>613860911
heres the vid

>>613860863
>>613860917

Guies, I have to work tomorrow morning, can you please keep it down? And let me hit that bowl real quick to help me pass back out. Seriously though, keep it down or I'm kicking your friends out. This is the last time I'm telling you guys, you're too loud and I'm trying to sleep. Okay, I've had enough, your friends need to leave.

>>613852074
I told you it was your turn to buy toilet paper. I wiped with your cat and threw it outside. Buy tp next time asswipe.

>>613860654
..C-can I fuck you in the ass until your butthole gapes and twitches it's way back to it's former glory?

Also hi, I am Tony.

THERE ARE NIGGERS IN THE BACK STEALING OUR DUBS

>>613860791
That wasn't Lenny...

>>613860917
security

>>613860917

If you've been putting dishes in the oven then where the hell did I put Goldstein?

>>613861242
No nessie god dammit! And I ain't got tree fiddy

>>613861306
the fuck? KILL IT

>>613860581
Sucks to be you niggers i brows on my phone

>>613861353
No, he's in there, you just gotta check the back behind all the white dishes. Did you forget that Goldstein is black?

Hey guys, I'm ho- who's the nigger who ate my fuckin' pizza. I payed good money for that shit!

>>613852074
WHY ARE THERE TWENTY DEAD NIGGERS IN MY CLOSET?

>>613861353

Goldstein is back? I thought he got held in the DR cause his passport was in crayon...

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>>613861593

Sorry.

>>613860748
You better hurry they close in 20 min

>>613861306
How the fuck did they get back there? I thought I left some baited traps for them.

WHO ATE THE FRIED CHICKEN AND KOOLAID FROM MY ANTI NIGGER DEFENSE GRID?

Oh shit, Bateman is on his way over.

Guys, a tumblr nigger spy has infiltrated our facility, he is lurking as one of us

>>613860232
>>613860320
YEAH KEVIN YOU FILTHY WHORE SHUT YOUR MOUTH

THERE IS SHIT EVERYWHERE

>>613861052
I'm killing that cat by tomorrow.

>>613861724
>THERE
MOhhamad fed it to his goat

>walk in with two sacks full of bananas.

>>613861529

Well I did forget that he'd been burning away in there since our nuremberg party last week

>>613861802
men are inferior to women

Will you please stop leaving your stuff everywhere? I'm sick of picking up your things all the time.

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Who wrinkled my randy travis poster, pissed in my seat and hid my keys?!

>>613861803

Rick chill. You need to stop drinking so much and hitting kevin. We only damage people emotionally here, not physically. You're taking it too far. And pass the blunt you asshole.

>>613861908

Thank christ.

>>613861306
Lets go Ricky lets fuck him up!

>>613861802
lol how do i add notes to a comment, feminism LOLOLOLOL

>>613861668
fucking hell Tim.

Who the fuck said Muhammed and his goat could move in? How much rent is he paying?

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*ding dong*

Pools closed

>>613862128

Well, once you get on a roll at the circle K you can't stop. Plus.... they started it.

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i just LOVE what you guys did to the house. Its AMAZING <3

All the other roommates agree, we don't want your girlfriend staying here. She never picks up after herself, she's always eating everybody else's food, she steals weed from everybody, always bums beers off us, and generally is an annoying cunt. We might put up with it if she put out, but none of us want to bang anything you've touched with a ten foot pole, hence why you're with such trash, but either way it's final, she can't stay here, not even overnight on occasion.

>>613862222
Czech'd

>>613862129

Don't be such a fucking racist Peter, this is 2015! We're better than that!

Didn't Ahmad tell you we have 4 new Somali roomates coming next week rent free?! Show some respect!

>>613861802
Its probably kevin

>>613852074
WHY IS THE TUB STICKY

>>613861921
I really, really like where this is going.

>>613862171
NEW CONVERTS! HI! Have you heard the good word of our lord and savior semtex?

>>613862039
I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY BLUNT, GET BACK INTO THE CUCKSHED, SVEN!!

>>613862321

James, Pete. We told you you guys could repaint the house, not ejaculate faggotry onto our humble abode. Try again, assholes.

>>613862171
Oh hello! Please come in, would you like something to drink? No, I haven't heard about Jesus, but I'm about to go to work, I think my roommates would love to hear all about it, they should be home any minute now.

>>613862405
of course, hes always a nigger

>>613862222
Alright, Tim. I guess quads don't lie.

>>613862482

Rick, you're drunk. And please, put some pants on. We have friends over.

>dont talk with anybody
going to my bed
>mfw theres a hobo there
ignore the fact and start a ylyl thread.

>>613852074
you're all faggots

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>>613862321
yea this just happend

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I am your new room mate lori

>>613862749

You're one to talk, Kevin...

>>613862321
How the fuck has Tim not killed you yet? >>613861668 i promise i won't tell the cops

lol anon is soo high that
hes trying to fit his dick trought the keyhole.

>mfw Muhammeds goat pays more rent than any of you cheap fuckers

I'm trying to play fucking DotA, quit cumming on my fucking keyboard.

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>>613862886

It's ok. They're just too dumb to know otherwise.

>>613862978
she works day and night

>>613862978
>mfw he pays it all in goatjobs

>>613862749
shut the fuck up in your cage kevin. Who took my 14 y/o gf?!?!