Just lay back and live off the system

>>612068742
Why they did that to you?

please dont jump

>>612068742

Broadcast live please. I want to watch you die.

Do a flip faggot

File: understanding_stroke_basics_cerebral_hemorrhage.jpg (18 KB, 280x271) Image search: [Google]

18 KB, 280x271

Your brains are precious to our collective intelligence

Do not make this decision lightly

You can still serve a purpose a purpose and process pleasure hopefully

>>612068742
WTF is a chemical lobotomy?

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???
(Seriously, why do you do this?)

>>612068742
>chemical lobotomy
You can never know how precious you will be to man kind in the future. Don't let this defeat you.

>>612068830
I was never like that, never will be like that. Besides I got nothing to spend money on besides food. Have no desire for anything else.
>>612069014
My parents did this to me, I don't know why. Had a perfectly normal life, just got a degree in economics, already had some work experience. They did this twice in fact.
>>612069093
I'll hang myself.
>>612069243
Maybe I will.
>>612069378
I can't serve a purpose now, I barely function, my life is hell from the moment I wake up till I fall asleep. Even when I sleep every nights I have vivid dreams of my past, my friends, everything that I've lost.

>>612068742
Stop taking them and you'll be fine.

File: 1412616340912.png (14 KB, 625x582) Image search: [Google]

14 KB, 625x582

I'll stay here till the thread goes OP, what shall we talk about?

Good luck bro

>>612069943
forgot to ask how old are you OP

>>612068742
Stay OP.

Have you tried stop taking meds? You will get some bad withdrawal symptoms(doctors saying SSRIs dont have withdrawal symptoms is just stupud/lie) but if you get hrough it and dont start taking the pills again it should make life better(even though I am sure they do some long term damage, but I believe in some years time the brain can restructure itself again)

there's no ctrl+z in death man... Maybe you can find pleasure in minor drugs, or anime, or bitches... You're fucked up, use it man... Don´t kill yourself in one shoot, or jumping whatevah do drugs

>>612068742
Perhaps you have taken unnecessary antipsychotics, but calling it a chemical lobotomy is ridiculous. It's nothing like a real lobotomy.

Where are you from OP?

>>612069679
Jamie? Pls respond

enjoy the ride of life

Most people who have no fucking idea why they were committed are fucking slap nuts. Why did your parents have you put on anti-psychotics? Survey says, you're psychotic.

>>612068742
Which antipsychotics do you take, OP?

>>612068742
3 hours? Why are you taking so long.

Not neccessary to kill yourself. Just take some 5HTP/L-Tyrosine/Mucuna Pruriens to restore your neurotransmitters, wait 1 or 2 years and you will most likely be fine again. The brain is pretty good at repairing itself as long as there is no physical damage

Everything I'm reading online about this is tin-foil hat conspiracy theory level crap. Especially the sites talking about SSRIs instead of anti-psychotics. It's probably bullshit and OP is just trying to find an excuse for being a social reject.

DONT DO THIS you have job, mayby one frend go to him and drunk as fuck tomarow will be beter. lisent me fag you dont want this

>>612068742
Why hang go buy a gun and kill niggers that riot or muslims for fucks sake go at like a boss

>>612068742
doooeeeettttt fgt

>>612069845
I've stopped but the damage is done.
>>612069943
I don't know anon, I've lost interest in everything. We can talk about music a bit. I loved Frank Ocean's and Weeknd's voice a lot, used to cry with joy while listening. After the meds it's all gone though.
>>612070281
22
>>612070520
Of course. I nearly killed myself after the first time they put me on it, though I kept pushing through and survived. It was not the same, but life was ok. Now it's all over again and I won't make it this time. I'm fully impotent now, my tessticles have shrunk, I have liver damage, circulation problems and what not, it's not just the brain.
>>612070529
Drugs don't work the way they did. I used to love weed magic, now I barely get any effects from it, not worth living.
>>612070658
It is, trust me. I was not the most emotional person prior to this, now I'm a zombie. It affects people differently, some are sensetive to this stuff, some are not.
>>612071042
No, not Jamie, sorry.

>>612071675
This. Make your last moments baller as shit. Have fun before you die. Don't go out silently, that's a pussy's way out.

>>612069943
Lets talk about OP shooting up oakland or any nigger areas, like where those faggots protest also kill the whites that protest too

File: conservator_walk___gateway_by_hideyoshi-d8mzd7q.jpg (853 KB, 1000x1412) Image search: [Google]

853 KB, 1000x1412

why do you think that death will make it end?

>>612068742
Don't do it, op.
Your life can be wonderful in the future and you will find yourself looking back, wondering why you even had these thoughts.
Don't do it. Just don't.

>>612071850
What were you on?

Psychopharmaceutical drugs certainly have withdrawal sy!ptoms in some cases. That's not a conspiracy.

>>612068742
Can I ask what kind of life you would have liked to have?

At what age did you have the lobotomy?

No, don't do it. I know that this is hard for you but you have to be fucking strong don't let this dickheads enjoy and don't let them win. You have to show them that you are not weak. You are a precious human being. You can forget this what happened get a job and you will get some money and you can invest it . Live your life go out find some friends and a girlfriend . Maybe it's hard but try it. Give it a shot. Don't give up.

>>612071850
>emotional zombie
yeah, okay. if you were going to kill yourself you wouldnt be here begging for attention.
it doesnt add up that you say you're a zombie, but still care enough to start a shit thread about "suiciding"
you're not going to suicide you retard, attention whore.

What actually IS a chemical lobotomy? Google is returning nothing weirdly

>>612072232
Nevermind, didn't notice
>chemical lobotomy

>>612072286
Why the fuck are you replying with this sort of white knight bullshit to some made up story?

>>612069679
Probably bait, but just in case it isn't:
Kill your parents dude. I would do that

livestream

>>612071850
you don't need happiness to have peace. the pain is real but it is not you it is affecting, you are free.

>>612072311
My bad, just found it now
Sheit
Don't do op

>>612071486
First time it was Risperidone, now it was Haldol.
>>612071516
Well not really. Your perception changes each time. I was able to recover to a degree after one year off, although the sexual side effects never really went away. This time I have horrendous physical side effects too.
>>612071621
I don't have a job anon, also alcohol doesn't affect me anymore.
>>612071872
Can't have fun no matter what I do. I used to think like you too prior to the meds, but now I just don't care enough.

File: headphones women wings music vocaloid headphones girl short hair green hair closed eyes megpoid gumi_wallpaperswa.com_15.jpg (185 KB, 600x450) Image search: [Google]

185 KB, 600x450

>>612071850
You've got a solid taste in music anon, music really keeps me going through most days, see im only 18 and i suffer from bipolar disorder and long term depression, never had many friends so music was really my own companion, got any music recommendations for me and any advice?

>>612072306
Actually this makes sense. I know pathological apathy to the point of feeling dead inside (schizoid personality disorder). In such times, I somehow functioned best. Like the proverbial robot. If you're not driven by emotion you are also not inhabited by any.

why don't you just live off the system, fuck prostitutes, do drugs, drink and eat amazing food until you die?

In Arabic they say
على هذه الأرض ما يستحق الحياة
Translation: There is on this earth what is worth living for.
So don't do it OP.
Also I don't care if you're baitin' just sayin' what would I say if this is real

>>612072724
If you were lobotomized, how come you can still type out perfectly?

Why did your parents get you on these and when did it start?

File: maxresdefault.jpg (59 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [Google]

59 KB, 1920x1080

>>612072732
>solid taste in music
>solid taste
>taste
fuck off kid

Wouldn't lobotomy mean that you can't have emotions? Why are you sad then?

>>612072415
Y so h8 nigguh

Have you considered suing your parents? I'm sure you could argue this as child abuse.

>>612072940
r00d d00d

>>612073012
Why such a fag, fag?

You can either kill yourself or become entirely selfless and devote your life to others.

Either way, your life isn't your own anymore, OP.

I wish I could sway you, but honestly, I know that your life is a living hell and that nothing can really make your life better, least of all some words of pity.

If you decide to kill yourself, make no room for error. Also, leave no mess. make sure you tie up all loose ends with your relationships, leave no one hanging.

Take some solace that at least you'll be spared a life that wasn't worth living.

Play some music, lay down, and try to think of the good times, OP.

Get a bit excited.

You're gonna find out the answer to the question everyone has.

>>612069679
Wait, are you on drugs now that make your life a mess or have drugs fried your brain? Either way, hanging yourself sucks shit, jumping is the way to go

>>612073101
This. Sue them for all you got. Donate the money to charity or give it all to some anon and then kill yourself as an ultimate super "fuck you" to your parents.

>>612073406
>all you got
all they got* of course

File: idgaf.jpg (61 KB, 706x480) Image search: [Google]

61 KB, 706x480

>>612068742
So I take it the lobotomy did not work?

>>612071850
Don't do it OP, but if there's no convincing you not to an hero at least let your shit parents know it's their fault.

>>612073232
Ask ur mum

File: 1428679816670.gif (2 MB, 245x207) Image search: [Google]

2 MB, 245x207

>>612073672
topkek

>>612072724
Op, are you aware that the brain is an hour rgan that continuously adapts to new experiences. Its not like psychopharmaceutical drugs would have the potential to actually destroy mental capacities for good. They bring you into a different mindset in which it may seem that they are lost, but this is similarly false to saying you lost the ability to see red just because you are staring at a green wall for hours.

The feeling that a mental capacity is gone for good is probably just the result of your brain not being able to evoke feels the way it used to. I emphasize THE WAY IT USED TO.

I actually have a cognitive science degree and know apathy from my own personality disorder, so I kinda know about the relevant science here.

>>612068742
Do it OP hang yourself on livestream...

PISS OFF WHITE KNIGHT FAGGOTS

>>612071850

Are you sure you're not just suffering from depression you moron? Feeling brain dead and not enjoying stuff anymore is a symptom of depression.

>>612072724
My friend recently was hospitalized and put on risperidone. I am so sorry.

>>612068742
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlGiVRwg-dc

You don't just get a chemical labotomy for nothing. Are you violently schizophrenic? People who are committed who don't know why they were committed are usually clinically insane.

I spent three days in a psych ward after self admitting because of anxiety. The people ranged from normal appearing like me, to violently insane, to sitting in a chair all day with their tongue hanging out.

Either way, if you're going to off yourself, at least put some long hard thought into it. Apparently everyone regrets the decision only after they're passed the point of no return (like when they're already falling through the air after jumping off the bridge).

>>612073921
this

>>612068742

Now, OP. When you say lobotomy via antipsychotics, waht do you mean ?

Surely you don't mean you Risperidone and Haloperidol. Because that would be ridiculous. And i would have no other choie but to think that this is all about you being 22 and well, psychotic.

So, tell me, what is this lobotomy via antipsychotics you are talking about ? how is it a lobotomy ? Did it affect your frontal lobes ?

And how did your parents do this to you ?

How did they force you ?

>>612068742
Why in 3 hours? Why not just do it now?

>>612074158

jesus, do you even know what risperidone is ?

before u die and be forgotten 2 years after ur death, why not do something were u gonna be remembered like go kill dumb celebrities or be the first man to try to strangle the president with ur own intestins, or maybe go run naked into the white house yard and shit ?

Aubade
By Philip Larkin
I work all day, and get half-drunk at night.
Waking at four to soundless dark, I stare.
In time the curtain-edges will grow light.
Till then I see what’s really always there:
Unresting death, a whole day nearer now,
Making all thought impossible but how
And where and when I shall myself die.
Arid interrogation: yet the dread
Of dying, and being dead,
Flashes afresh to hold and horrify.

The mind blanks at the glare. Not in remorse
—The good not done, the love not given, time
Torn off unused—nor wretchedly because
An only life can take so long to climb
Clear of its wrong beginnings, and may never;
But at the total emptiness for ever,
The sure extinction that we travel to
And shall be lost in always. Not to be here,
Not to be anywhere,
And soon; nothing more terrible, nothing more true.

This is a special way of being afraid
No trick dispels. Religion used to try,
That vast moth-eaten musical brocade
Created to pretend we never die,
And specious stuff that says No rational being
Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing
That this is what we fear—no sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anaesthetic from which none come round.

1/2

>>612074554
maybe even go try to kill honey booboo family or justin bieber ?

>>612074630
2/2
And so it stays just on the edge of vision,
A small unfocused blur, a standing chill
That slows each impulse down to indecision.
Most things may never happen: this one will,
And realisation of it rages out
In furnace-fear when we are caught without
People or drink. Courage is no good:
It means not scaring others. Being brave
Lets no one off the grave.
Death is no different whined at than withstood.

Slowly light strengthens, and the room takes shape.
It stands plain as a wardrobe, what we know,
Have always known, know that we can’t escape,
Yet can’t accept. One side will have to go.
Meanwhile telephones crouch, getting ready to ring
In locked-up offices, and all the uncaring
Intricate rented world begins to rouse.
The sky is white as clay, with no sun.
Work has to be done.
Postmen like doctors go from house to house.

I have been on risperidone. Really struggled with it. If it helps, things will get better. I think

File: 1429174999468.jpg (34 KB, 296x380) Image search: [Google]

34 KB, 296x380

>>612071850
Explain how your parents put you on the drugs, did they involve the cops in the situation? Did you get violent or break anything? Were you hospitalized or diagnosed with some mental disorder give more details.

Kill kill kill

File: KennyDownsSyndromeWhiteTiger.jpg (8 KB, 232x217) Image search: [Google]

8 KB, 232x217

>>612068742

psychotics on anti-psychotics is a very good thing

psychotics off their meds ain't purty

side effects can be bad, but there are so many choices for the doctor and pharmacists to make, if you work with them, you can eventually find the right medication, combination of drugs or a drug cocktail that can mitigate some of the bad side effects from the main brew

or would you rather just be locked up in a padded cell with vicious or uncaring orderlies who might sexually violate you ?

there was a time--oh not so very long ago--when the 'experts' would have resorted to real lobotomies or dunk tanks

count your fucking blessings, you poser

LITERALLY

LITERALLY NOT JUST STOPPING TAKING THOSE PILLS

L I T E R A L L Y


NOPE RATHER GONNA KILL MYSELF

>>612068742
what should i buy from the shop?

>>612074263

OP is probably just schizophrenic, with emotional numbness.

the meds actually made him more lucid, and now he is seeing how shitty his life is, but is delusioningly mistaking his opened eyes as some "lobotomy" effect.

people cope however they can with reality, and OP's crazyness just made up a lobotomy.

>>612068742
I believe in your right to end it all.
But tell someone who knows where you live, so someone can at least try and stop you.

>>612075098
The kind of shit your talking about is some primitive caveman stuff damn are from the feudal era.

>>612074225

Doctors hand out pills like crazy for minor stuff that could probably be solved or atleast reduced with psychotherapy.

>>612075344
This seems like an appropriate / likely analysis, he never outright denied anything of that kind I think.

People should respond to him based on that possibility, well, many already did it seems.

>>612072724
>First time it was Risperidone, now it was Haldol.

Both pretty heavy drugs. What's your diagnosis? Schizophrenia?
If you just stopped taking them without slowly reducing the dose, that could cause rebound symptoms.

>>612073990
>>612073990
>>612073990
>>612073990
>>612073990
this.

File: ChinkToothpickLobotomyDevices.jpg (22 KB, 580x600) Image search: [Google]

22 KB, 580x600

>>612068742

better yet, give me your address and i'll email you a pair of chopsticks from the local chinese dive and you can lobotomize yerself and make it for realzies

>>612075344
OP should get a real lobotomy

File: 1429176447251.jpg (67 KB, 480x640) Image search: [Google]

67 KB, 480x640

>>612075018
Come on OP give the details or no one can help you.

>>612074263

SSRIs shrink your frontal lobes mate.

>>612075814
It's the symptom of quite a few other disorders as well.

>>612073552
>chemical lobotomy
He's not lobotomised, lrn2read fgt.

>>612068830
Hoe

>>612072197
First time Risperidone, second time Haldol.
>>612072199
I've just got a Finance degree, used to have great motivation to make it in the corporate world, live with my girlfriend, continue to expand my vinyl collection. Just to enjoy life like I used to at least. Not to feel the suffering every day.
>>612072286
But I am weak now anon. No prospects for a girlfriend as I'm impotent now. Can't even have a decent job as I have a cognitive impairment and memory issues now.
>>612072306
I am, I just wanted to talk to someone before going, as my family doesn't give a fuck and I won't discuss it with my friends. Talking is p much all that's left for me in this life.
>>612072555
Peace is nothing when world feels empty for you. True peace for me is death now.
>>612072732
Yeah, I know what you mean. Music was something what kept me going too. Had the ability to find some tracks that brought up deep emotions. Could recommend Arcade Fire, Drake's Nothing Was The Same, check out Metro Zu's Pantheon and Wave Cap tracks, Pictureplane's Cyclical Cyclical and Trance Doll. I'm sure you'll find good music if you search through the albums which are full of mediocre stuff.
>>612072783
Can't fuck cos impotent, drugs and booze do nothing for me now, I can't feel taste too.
>>612072933
Typing is something that's left of me.
>>612072983
I'm not sad. I want to feel sad and pissed but I can't.
>>612073101
I just don't care now, I barely walk, I don't work so I have no capacity for suing. Probably my death will be something they will feel bad about, but I don't even care about it either.
>>612073303
>You're gonna find out the answer to the question everyone has
Yeah, that keeps me up a bit. Thank you anon.
>>612073351
I'm no longer on drugs. Jumping is messy, hanging is more peaceful.

>>612075335
Kek.

>>612075963
Yet brain size isn't actually correlated with mental functionality, nor is the science anywhere near done as to how permanent these changes are (given the right circumstances later)

>>612075963
*citation needed

>>612068742
I was dosed against my will with 40mg of abilfy before they knew it was detremental for people under the age of 18. I sued the inpatient rehab place I went to for an 800k settlement. You probably have claims don't kill yourself.

File: CatWisedUp.jpg (57 KB, 540x720) Image search: [Google]

57 KB, 540x720

>>612075585

>caveman stuff from the feudal era

try the 1950s and 1960s, history boy

and still going on in wayward places in east asia and 3rd world shitholes

lobotomies were still being done within the borders of the USSR when it came undone in the 1980s

>>612068742
>I'm a victim of chemical lobotomy

>typing

Pick one.

>>612071850
Dude , dude, dude please, postpone it for one day. Go and get some magic mushrooms also known as shrooms. Eat about 3 - 4 portions because I said so. Just do this, you've got nothing more to lose so trust me on this one buddy. If something worth mentioning happens, I expect to see a thread here about it.

>>612076307
>>612076461

http://lmgtfy.com/?q=ssri+frontal+lobe+damage

>>612076528
Sounds like an easy life?

>>612069644
This, or...
Go on a rampage killing and cement your name in history.

>>612075963

he didn't say he's taking ssris. he's taking risperidone and haloperidol.

maybe that's the problem. people doesn't even know what they are taking, then they start to think they were lobotomized.

>>612076276
>I'm not sad. I want to feel sad and pissed but I can't.
Well, you're pissed then. If you were actually 'lobotomized', you couldn't even kill yourself, or think about it.

>>612076276
rampage will prevent other people from being given the same drugs as you

but suicide is easier.

hope you feel better anon

well, if this is true, then see you on the other side homie. and btw, fuck your parents.

>>612076764
I live in my own place, I get 1 pound of weed mailed to me from the Government every month and I never have to work again. Why do you think I spend all day on /b/, it's fantastic.

>>612073587
Already wrote a note telling them I can't live after what they've done to me.
>>612073913
Yeah, I know, Ive researched neuroplasticity and all that stuff after being on Risperal the first time. mental capacity in fact comes back to a degree, but it is never the same that it used to be, same with emotions and motivation. It was tolerable after the first time, after the second time it's really not. Also hormonal changes, liver damage and impotence is something that won't go away, and I had little empathy left after the first time. After the second time the damage is just too much.

>>612077043
Although the suicidal depressive tendancys and disconnected emotions from the medications are not fantastic. That's why I smoke weed all the time.

>>612076762
I know the sciences related to psychiatry, including neuroscience. There's a reason the field has the reputation to make overly bold claims with little more than colorful pictures of the brain backing it up, using technology that has been proven to register neural activity in dead fish.

>>612076276
>hanging is more peaceful.
when/if you do this

*carve "the fun ends here" above where your gonna hang

*take picture

*profit

>>612076528
Could I sue a hospital I attended for giving me risperidal when it was shown to do damage in research papers? How long of a process would it be?

>>612076461
>>612076762
TY. Never heard this before, and I know a couple of people that take them. Doctors in the UK seem to prefer SNRIs lately.

>>612077043
Sounds perfect.

Have you thought about taking somebody with you, like someone on the global or national stage who you feel might deserve it?

>>612077177
Them feels anon. I just got off olanzapine 2 months ago after more than 1 year on it, I can definitely empathize that they do mess with you and it's not like living. But it's been 2 months and things are looking better, hang on anon. Hopefully things will get better.

>>612076276
if you are going to kill yourself, do it on top of a bath tub or something, after all, someone has to clean up your corpse.

>>612077346
Not sure, it's definitely a case by case thing. I would recommend finding a good reputable lawyer and asking him all your questions. Keep in mind though I had to ask my parents to mortgage their home for financial help to get the lawyer fees, shits expensive but if you seriously think you have a case go for it.

>>612077043

This truly sounds like the perfect life!1!!1!1


Djeez, your life must be boring :D

>>612074225
>apparently
>everyone regrets
>after point of no return

is it apparent that anyone past the point of no return would have nothing to share? cos' they dead.

>>612075344
this

>>612068742
Could you clarify, OP; do you take both drugs, or did the Haldol replace the Risperdal?

What's a chemical lobotomy?

>>612068742
I actually wish you wouldn't do it anon, it makes me sad. But what you say here you're going through sounds indeed horrible. I've been suicidal before for less reason.
I just wish you could use your last energy to maybe do something good before you go out. Maybe take all you belongings and give them to some homeless kid or something. Your scumbag parents will just sell your shit and keep the money. Please, try to do something good before you go out, don't just go.

Someone please red pill me on this please

File: 65tfo.jpg (91 KB, 480x684) Image search: [Google]

91 KB, 480x684

>>612077797

>>612077749
There have been people who have survived falls that said they regretted it in mid-air.

>>612076595
actually lobotomies were banned in the ussr since the 50's, however they are still performed today under special circumstances in belgium, france and norway

>>612077177
I'm not trying to talk you out of it at all costs. But is impotence really a deal breaker? I'm schizoid so I'm asexual anyway, but that's why I wonder.

>>612077866

An alcohol

>>612077177
>Already wrote a note telling them I can't live after what they've done to me.

what ? they sliped some risperidone in your Cap'n Crunch ?

you are full of shit, op. if you were commited, it's because you were acting crazy. and if you are crazy, you were medicated. but those meds you cited doesn't cause lobotomy. this isn't One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. you weren't electroshocked.

you're either delusional or watching too many movies. probably both.

this thread makes me wonder:

are all these extremely strong medications that fuck with your brain really such a good idea?

I know they wont give them to just about anyone, but still.

>>612078224
Fuck off, I'm serious, you degenerate.

I have never before come across something like this in my life, someone please explain what is going on?

>>612075137
can you read my son?

I've seen you make this thread at least one other time in the past, you cunt.

>>612078283
Chemical lobotomy is a metaphor, for all who haven't noticed yet. OP seems well aware of that.
Also would such details matter right now?

>>612074191
See? See how he is? I don't want to live like that. It's shallow existence, not living.
>>612074225
Now I'm not. Basically it was for stuff like staying at my friends for 2 days and not telling parents. They've always been overprotective as hell.
>>612074263
You would know only if you took those drugs. It affects the whole brain and body, not just the frontal lobes.
>>612074264
Have to wait till my parents go to sleep.
>>612074554
Have no motivation for that. I don't feel like that would be funny or awesome anymore.

>>612078408
Sometimes they're just the lesser of two evils, unfortunately.

post pic

>>612078408
it's all just doctors throwing pills at problems in the dark

>>612077177
borderline personality disorder sufferer here

one of the worst things about having a disorder that heightens your emotional responses (both the good and bad) is feeling sterile when they medicate you. When you're used to such an exteme amount of up/down, everything just fades to gray. It's definitely jarring. The best way I can compare it is like, when you try to edge yourself while fapping and cum too early on accident and it's really disappointing- that's how everything you used to enjoy feels, every time. It's hard to believe that has to be your new standard.

I decided against medicating because I prefer the extremes, and I can manage keeping the bad moods under control (some psychotics cannot though) and it's good that way. You really have to ask if you are better off feeling everything but being more dangerous to yourself and others.

I assume the reason you've been on two antipsychotics apparently forcefully is because your symptoms were severe. And that's no way to live, either, really. Not for you, not for the people who have to deal with you. You're being awfully silent about why you're in this position in the first place. I find it hard to believe it just happened one day, like an accident, especially because you're still young.

If you don't have a case, walk into the clinic with a shotgun and kill some people before you smoke yourself.

>>612069521
This
Google hasn't told me anything. All I've been able to find is a list of drugs, suicide notes, and walls of text about drugs.

Could you pls post pic of you to us ?

>>612078513

here.
>>612075344

>>612078777
>>612069521
see
>>612078606
ffs

>>612068742
are you going to stream it or are you wasting my time?

>>612078777
>>612069521
>>612077866

answer this shit I want to know what a chemical lobotomy is too

is it funny

File: 1413832856996.jpg (43 KB, 360x480) Image search: [Google]

43 KB, 360x480

>>612068742
you will be remembered on /b/ for at least a few months if you stream your suicide on tinychat

just like that guy the murdered a kids mom while he was at school and let him find her naked

>>612078637
Unless the person is psychotically trying to harm other people I don't think big pharm are ever right.

They destroy more then they build up.

>>612078715
this right here its how western medicine works

if you want something more natural try looking up some Chinese herb books

>>612079057
its when someone gets fukt by doctors and cant feel emotions or a will to live anymore depending on how bad the effects vary

now stop fucking asking

>>612078612

Why don't you use the helium method forsuicide? Surely you must have read it once.

>>612079057
you take certain drugs n shit and it fucks with your brain.

>>61079057

An alcohol

>>612075018
In my country they can lock you up if you are a danger to yourself. Apparently my parents thought that staying at my friend's for 2 days or not eating as much as they would like me to is a good reason. I tried to fight when they were taking me so they deemed me psychotic.
>>612075098
I was never psychotic or mentally ill in the first place.
>>612075335
Buy some chocolate croissants.
>>612075399
That would be poserish s hell.
>>612075802
No, I never was diagnosed with anything, in my country they just drug you to death once you're in a mental hospital, no matter what you say.

are you a nigger OP ?

where do you live

>>612079149
I'm currently about half way through a book called "Bad Pharma" by (Dr) Ben Goldacre and I have to agree. It's scary. Also must be worse in the US, where pharmaceutical companies can advertise directly to the public. That's not allowed here (UK).

Don't do it please!! . Whatever u are going through might be hard but things change quickly, have you tried just laying off them for a long period of time and effects might start going away. BUt stay postive , look afteryourself and Don't give up lbro

>>612069378
geez i smell bullshit

>>612078722
Schizoid personality disorder here.
I'd like to add that total apathy can be awesome in its own way. Often you just feel nothing because you stopped caring about the external world around you, but when you successfully withdraw into your own fantasy for long enough you can use it to somehow apply your own personal background music to the emptiness that is your outwards existence.
I can't strictly say that this apathy due to extreme introversion is all that similar to being emotionally stunted with medication, but I'd like to add this viewpoint nonetheless.

>>612078612

i did took it !

both of them. now i'm taking Quetiapine. I work out, eat right, play jazz piano, wake up early and go to work, read books, talk to people, etc.

the difference between you and me, OP, is that, instead of let my delusions get the best of me, i decided to understand my condition.

Whenever something feels like a delusion i question it. I was trained to do this by cognitive behavioral therapy. It is a process similar to the socratic method. You inform yourself, question yourself, and exhaust possibilities.

That way, if i feel, let's say, that i'm lobotomized, i'll think "hey, maybe this is crazy and stupid". Then i'll research it, test it, ask experts (not /b/). This way, I'll won't end up here talking crazy about killing myself like a little faggot, with a bunch of morons newfags who can't tell the difference between an atidepressant from an antipsychotic.

>>612079673
seriously you gunna stream or what? best make a channel before this thread 404s

stream the death

>>612079673

In What country do you live?

Did you browse for new music and video games tho? Can you really not enjoy anything anymore? There must be SOMETHING!

I wouldn't do it OP. At least you could still vegetate and observe the world, maybe getting high on even stronger drugs and travel around like a hobo.

>>612076276
I got schizotypal personality disorder from taking ridperidone.

>>612078026

Pharma jew pills damage and shrink your brain and give you new symptoms that are way worse than you petty anxiety or depression you had in the first place. Doctors will just give you even more pills to cover up the symptoms created by the medication in the first place, which will make your life even more miserable as you get more and more pills, damaging the brain even more and creating more symptoms.

No pity for you.

>>612079953
The problem is that OP seems not delusional, but instead talking in metaphor. Would be good for him to clarify I suppose.

>>612079673
>No, I never was diagnosed with anything

That's disgusting. OK, sometimes it's important to treat symptoms first, but to have no diagnosis while being given some serious drugs is not acceptable. Your doctors should be ashamed.
I would suggest telling them that before doing anything else.

>>612079944
Rock on, dude. Way to own your reality like that. I appreciate your viewpoints for sure...

I often say to myself that I'd rather be having the worst day of my life than be bored and numb, because at least it'd be feeling something, but maybe that's just a product of my disorder being my status quo. I probably could get behind that kinda existence if I got in the right mindset. Thanks. Keep on keepin' on, bro.

>>612080286
Fucking hell...

>>612080285

yeah, i got homosexuality from fapping to traps

>>612080285
Make the decision to never lie to yourself and fight against self-deception at all cost, and you might turn into something more like a typical schizoid. That's not such a bad existence at all.

>>612073303
>leave no one hanging.
Why did i laugh?

>>612068742
Ok op, it's fair if you feel that way. The psychotropic pills doctors prescribed fucked me up too. I used to have an imagination, I used to laugh. Now, I'm a husk. I feel numb a lot. I was put on them for the longest time after my brother an hero. It was rough.. I turned to more drugs and alcohol that I could handle, and wound up overdosing on the floor in my grandmas home. Death isn't a question. Its just dark. No feeling. No emotion. Just dark. Almost like sleep. Luckily my grandfather revived me. I can tell you now that my life has gotten better. I've married and have twins on the way. I struggle to this day to emotionally adapt to situations. That's because my brain is fried. Life can get better op. I can't change your mind tho. Good luck op

>>612079944
I hope if I'm ever in your position, I can approach it as intelligently as you seem to do.

>>612075951
Thor, Game of Thrones and LOTR all in one? Looks like an interesting show.

is OP kill?

>>612079837
The UK sounds WAYYYY better. They can't advertise there? That's crazy.. They advertise it on TV here, it's typically just happy being being happy while they list the horrendous side effects that could happen. "Oh you could go insane, want to kill yourself even more, get cancer, have your heart stop, have an aneurism," etc etc.

It's fucked up. I'm from Canada and we actually have rights here, but when I was in the U.S. (as a kid in boarding school) they were pumping me with all kinds of medications before they had any idea what they were doing. All because I was depressed, I didn't get a choice.

It's been 3 years since that and I still feel the psychological damages: loss of memory, emotional disconnection, changed smile, it's so shit. I honestly wouldn't wish that kind of fate upon anyone.

>>612081012
samefag much?

>>612080501
I just wish I could make this sound at least somewhat convincing for OP to try...

I'd like to add a quote from another schizoid friend of mine that captures our philosophy regarding how much to feel is best really well: "I have a small heart, but this allows me to appreciate the few things for which there is actually space that much more"

File: 1429180431514.jpg (81 KB, 704x960) Image search: [Google]

81 KB, 704x960

>>612081079
It's people just trying to be ugly, this is the internet after all.

don't do it OP there is so much to enjoy in this world, music (as you already know), movies, people, cities etc.

>>612079953
This. Finally a guy who knows his shit.

>>612081012
That's one of the reasons to write it here.

>>612077677
True. Be considerate, OP.

>>612081359
dude has schizo, is it technically a samefag if its two distinct personalities talking to each other

>>612080286
Some pills are nice but most are shit.

>>612081783
That's not what schizo means, regardless of whether you mean schizophrenic, schizotypal or schizoid.

File: spock.jpg (403 KB, 1440x1080) Image search: [Google]

403 KB, 1440x1080

>>612080938

We all feel like emotionless husks all the time, stop being a fucking baby about it.

Oh boo hoo I can't feel feelings, fucking deal with it.

>>612081798
Yeah, it's just better to keep them for recreational use.

>>612075018
>not answering important questions
>go kill yourself faggot

Tfw OP just killed himself

>>612076680
Man I've already tried LSD and mushrooms, I just don't get the psychic effects like I used to. I know what you are talking about.
>>612077467
No, don't care enough.
>>612077826
I was first medicated with Risperdal in 2013, then with Haldol in 2015.
>>612078157
Well sex was something I enjoyed, it's hard to lose it.
>>612078562
Was not going to an hero the last time. Now I am.
>>612078722
I won't write the whole story here cos of time, in a few words I never was too emotional in the first place, never got into any fights, never threatened anyone, never had manic episodes or behaved in a lunatic way, but apparently they can drug you up even if you are peaceful and not a danger to others or yourself.

>>612072724
Why did your parents to that to you?

>>612082062
better question is: which fuckin country is he/she in

>>612081989

This applies to

>>612082166

Too.

>>612082166
ARE YOU GOING TO STREAM IT..seriously i have other things to do

>>612078082
Can't be some correlation between surviving and regretting? ( eg intentional low altitude ? )

fucking stream it im sick of lurking

>>612082413
op wont deliver i swear

Nigga, don't kill yourself. You still haven't seen the new Dragonball Movie

>>612079953
>I work out, eat right, play jazz piano, wake up early and go to work, read books, talk to people
Man, you're full of shit OR you just really need the meds. How long have you been on Haldol and Risperdal? For me it was 2 + 2 months of injections. You wouldn't be able to do all those things if you were on them for anything close to my time on em.

File: cacodemon computer.png (18 KB, 350x300) Image search: [Google]

18 KB, 350x300

Alright, OP, time to open your ears up and listen.

First off, if you're gonna ignore everything else I say and kill yourself anyway, then at least take this to heart: do yourself a favor, put the noose away and kill yourself by drowning. You don't deserve to die unpleasantly, and from what I hear drowning is actually pretty pleasant once you let the water into your lungs.

With that said, don't kill yourself. If you can still feel pleasure, don't do it. Contact the fucking police. Get your folks arrested on cruel and unusual punishment/abuse charges, and the state will probably help you get medical treatment to repair the damages made.

In the meantime, start jogging or doing some other form of exercise. It will make your body generate its own dopamine, and you will feel better.

His name was KENNY R. JENSEN

>>612082166
>Well sex was something I enjoyed, it's hard to lose it
You don't make it sound very essential to your life. Was there anything about it why you think it's impossible to go without? If it's only enjoyment, then there are other sources.

>>612082166
They can't medicate you against your will if you're an adult and you haven't committed any crimes, or are in the hospital/psych ward, I'm pretty sure.

So tell your doctor the effects aren't working for you and you'd rather unmedicate. They have to comply. Bodily autonomy is a right to nearly all human beings, even criminals.

I'm not sure why you don't put the effort towards fixing your problem long term and instead complain to /b/. It seems very simple to fix. Your brain won't stay fucked up forever, calling it a lobotomy is 4edge5me. Eventually you will reregulate.

What is the meaning of life?

>>612083076
to kill yourself and stream it for /b/'s enjoyment

>>612082549
if you hang yourself correctly under your jaw you can intentionally block the jugular with force and no asphyxiation and pass out within 20 seconds. painless. just don't suspend hang

>>612083076
To search for it

>>612083193
this

>>612083076
42

>>612068742
OP is a faggot and won't deliver

>>612082746
R.I.P 2015

>>612083076
There isn't any.

>>612082746
lel, nice one brandon

File: THEsamefag.png (28 KB, 1351x256) Image search: [Google]

28 KB, 1351x256

>>612081783

>>612083199
That's basically a sleeper hold applied by a noose instead of another person; an experience based in unpleasantness. Drowning feels like returning to the womb, reportedly.

>>612083528
Are you so jealous of a post getting praised that you need to convince yourself it was a samefag?

>>612083076
To leave the best for those who stay behind.

>>612082549
>drowning is actually pretty pleasant once you let the water into your lungs.
Who the fuck tried it to know?

>>612082537
i was on haldol for a couple of months. i wasn't good for me not because of the effects per se, but because of the side effects - my head would start to turn involuntarily, so i had to take a anti-allergic medication that would work as a parkinson medication as well. that worked, but me physician decided to change to risperidone. But, other than that, functioning perfectly.

Much better. No side effects for a while, but then i started to eat a lot. My doctor tried some other medications like olanzapine and clozapine, until i eventually sttled with quetiapine.

it is all about testing and find out what's better for you. just because one medication is not the best, doesn't mean you have to kill yourself or declare yourself forever destroyed.

File: 1419796474215.jpg (60 KB, 640x640) Image search: [Google]

60 KB, 640x640

>>612082549
>from what I hear drowning is actually pretty pleasant once you let the water into your lungs

cause people who have actually drowned live to tell others about the experience

fuckin' whiteknights

Please don't deliver, OP?

File: life.jpg (151 KB, 1279x1023) Image search: [Google]

151 KB, 1279x1023

>>612083076

>>612071911
A decent point. OP should listen to this. Your life may be terrible, but at least there are still known parameters.

Some part of you is terrified because you feel like you've lost your soul, your mind, your personality - but at least there's still some part of you to be afraid, to have the desire for death. Death will rend utterly everything from you. Death may be a tempest from which there is no escape. Think on that.

Is your mind body permanently fucked up?
I hope you respawn some where good.

File: bViXxksOjCU.jpg (125 KB, 900x604) Image search: [Google]

125 KB, 900x604

Ok time to go for me. I won't stream cos I don't want to leave my personal data unlocked for my parents. Here's a photo of me before and after the meds, someone asked for it. You are the last people to see me alive. Goodbye friends, have a nice life!

>>612068742

dont do it.

you know why.

ok im going, if on the off chance Faggot OP decides to stream him hanging do be sure to make a new thread and bump it

>>612084396
Stream it FAGGOT

>>612084269
Just that life is more like a video game where whether it sucks has also something to do with the player.

>>612084396
Stream or it didnt happen

>>612084396
Don't do it mean. Life's like an ice cream covered in shit. Once you go through all the shit, it gets pretty sweet.

>>612084396
shutdown.exe -t 600
comp closes after 10 mins
no need to thank me

>>612084748
Man*>>612084748

>>612084396

the meds seem to have cured you from aids

>>612084396
can i be the last person to call you a fggot and try to convince you that no personal data can be gleamed from a video of you hanging yourself

>>612084396
don't do iiiiiiiiit please

>>612084396
did you get that pussi b0ss?