You are doing it wrong, you don't get a hooker
Go to a small village in northern thailand get yo self a child

>>610111295
actually dude i was in the marines Cell Block 4 (clb4) and went there for training stayed in pattaya dude birches cost 20 $ a night theyll stay and do your laundry all that shit a hotel for a month (a nice one) is about 400 american i mean shit super cheap but i wouldt go to Bangkok pattaya is big and just sluts everywhere i fucked a bad ass bitch at lucifers disco whixh a dance club idk man go to the ping pong show to dude

Don't bother taking any clothes with you as they are dirt cheap out there. Literally all you'll need is an empty bag, passport and a washbag.

Go to were the locals eat as its also mega cheap. Some cafes etc will overcharge you and get the food from around the corner. Try Tom Yum Soup.

Don't insult the king or get a buddha tattoo.

Koh Lanta is a small island on the west coast of thailand and it's developed enough to be comfortable but out the way enough to stay away from all the other tourists. If you go there, go to the freedom bar, free weed!

>>610112267
do they not teach you punctuation in the Marines?

Also avoid douches like the marine faggot above, thats the side of thailand you want to avoid like the fucking plague.

>>610113174
Not Marine, but I know the only punctuation they teach in the Marines is the fucking exclamation point. That's all they need.

moar pics

>>610112982
Thanks man, I was thinking of buying a shit load of clothes out there. Will put all this on the list

>>610113174
dude jarhead *facepalm

>>610111295
if you go to Phuket, Patong is the place to go at night. Good cheap fresh food pulled from the ocean that day, cheap drinks, bars and nightlife everywhere, lots of people, heaps of strip clubs too.

>>610113281
Fuck up amerifag

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>>610112267

>>610113281
fuckin right lol

Make some videos of you fucking some tight girls then email them to yourself and then share

I go to Pattaya every year AMA

>>610111295
ALWAYS CARRY MULTIPLE CONDOMS, in case you pick up a grill and then find out she needs one too

>>610112267
dude i was in the marine too and is great and you walk to the place and fuck all the girls and then keep typing and not ever stop a sentence or a period or anything super cheap dude lucifer and this hot chick and staying 400 american and wow then i went drunk and then this girl was there and wow laundry and shit

>>610113432

No probs OP. I've been plenty of times so know the ins and outs.

You can rent scooters to get about etc, which is useful on the small islands, but beware of getting injured as its wacky races out there. If you do rent a scooter, DONT give your passport in as collateral and DO take a video of it all beforehand as they try and charge you for 'damage' later on.

>>610113671
Underrated post

>>610111295
You might want to go ask /trv/.

>>610113671
fuckin kek

Just go to Ko Phangan, Surat Thani, Thailand.

Plenty of fun there.

>>610111295
Bring condoms, get dunk, eat where you see the locals eat.

Stay the fuck away from drugs while in Asia... Life in prison in Thailand or any other asian country is no fucking joke and not worth the risk... Besides, we get better drugs at home.

>>610112267
straight outta locash?

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>>610112267
atleast use commas.

>>610111552
>get yo self a child

lel why would he knock up a random Thailand girl oh wait.ohhhh ohhh MODS

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Railay Beach was awesome. Small area with easy to find drugs and awesome views. Also great rock climbing if your into that.

>>610111295
Looking for Heaven on earth? Go to Nana Plaza bro. Just Google that shit

>>610111295
I have it on good authority that Thai prostitutes lick your arsehole when you get a blow job

Koh pangan full moon party

>>610114139
this is true

I'll be going back to visit family this summer. I'm probably one of the few people here that doesn't think of thailand as an adult themed sexland.

Anyway...I'd say stay away from pataya as much as possible. It's over priced, crowded, and filled with asshole foreigners of every type. If you must go down there for the night life...make it a short stop.

If you want a hooker... upgrade and find a escort over there, pay for a week (its not that much). She will know all the best local places and you will have a great time.

Hit up northen thailand if you can manage it. ching mai is beautiful. Also as someone else posted, some of the southern areas / islands are wonderful too.

Pattaya is a must go place if your'e looking for girls, cover up though because HIV is a big thing there now

Do not touch anyone on top of their heads.
Seriously offensive.

>>610114342
Chiang mai is beautiful, but it gets old fast. Nothing but temples, massage, and markets.

>>610114662
yes but its fun to do that while fucking them, makes them super embarrased and submissive

>>610114463

>a big thing there now

KeK

>>610114662
am thai, can confirm. honestly just don't touch their face or head in general, we freak out over that shit. i guess it's some weird respect thing or something

>>610113952
>Stay the fuck away from drugs while in Asia... Life in prison in Thailand or any other asian country is no fucking joke and not worth the risk... Besides, we get better drugs at home.

Fucking this.

Seriously, for most drugs it is the death penalty, if you are lucky you get life in some hell hole.

And yea, a lot of tourists get away with it, but do you really want to risk it if you get caught from the one asshole who won't take a bribe?

Hi OP.
I returned recently from a party trip to Thailand, here are some dot points you should take as law.

1: Do not buy street drugs. Only from Mafia run places like Amsterdam bars (Koh Samui) or Mushroom Mountain (Koh Phanang).
2. Xanax, Ritalin, Valium from pharmacies is totally fine but buy in big strips and do not travel with it, just eat them all while you are on that part of the country.
3. Do not pay more than 200 baht for a hand job. Walk to the next place for a rub & tug.
4. When getting a hand job do NOT turn down the older women. They are freaks when it comes to working the shaft. Let them play with your asshole too it's quite good.
5. Pick up thai girls from bars and put away your shame instantly. Ask them how much and go back to your hotel room. Lock up ANYTHING in the fucking room as they will steal from you without you knowing every time.
6. Don't bother with any strip clubs. Or go to a Russian one and ask the girl to come to a club with you, only if she will have sex with you later. Tell her 1000 or 2000 baht (30 US) and your fucking a russian stripper.

Beautiful.

>>610112267
Are you actually retarded?

>>610111295
OP got to see a Ping Pong show !! and if you have time also go to Monkeyblowjob . i pissed myself of laughing

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>>610114036
KEK

>>610113753
Yes I've heard of that scam, I will just rent a bicycle or buy one it might be cheaper.

>>610114842
I have a thai wife and she could care less about the head touching. I think it's overplayed and you're full of shit.

>>610113680

dude yeah grass

>>610111295
>Thailand


Wasn't it taken over in a military coup last year?

Sure, 2 years ago, it would have been a great place to get even the fattiest /b/tard's v-wings lost. But now? Is it even safe?

>>610113671
top kek

>>610114878
Bullshit. The police just want you to pay them off.

Where can one pick up some.. younger prostitutes?

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She's waiting OP

>>610113281
Durrr, the only things I need to know are the U, S and A!

>>610115557
Dude, literally the first fucking post in the thread tell you.

>>610115403
Not always, sometimes you get an asshole looking to get a promotion or make an example of someone... There are quite a few Americans, Brits, Aussies, etc who thought that way who are in Thai prision doing serious time as we speak. And our Government can't help you, and you won't get any special treatment being an American...

It is not like it is a slap on the wrist man, not worth the risk. It is fucking LIFE in thai hellhole or DEATH PENALTY. Is that really worth the risk? Goto a fucking pharmacy and get shit that won't put you in that position.

>>610115362
Don't be a coward.

>>610115735
Would pay a months wages for, so about tree fiddy.

>>610112982
>Don't insult the king or get a buddha tattoo.

I have a Tibetan script tattoo in my ankle. Will I be fucked if I ever go to Thailand?

>>610115828
Do you actually know about thailand or are you just talking about what you heard?

In the mid aughts they had a death penalty policy for dangerous drugs like meth, but now they have cooled on that and most of it is usually a big fine unless you were clearly intent on distributing which is life. Weed you just get a fine or pay the cops off.

>>610116244
Not him and not like I have any idea, but I think it'd be wise not to show it off too much, just have it covered by your shoes or put a bandaid over it if you must. But I think you'll be fine if you simply don't talk about it.

It isn't like these people won't have seen these sort if things over a thousand times. Probably they won't notice / won't care / won't recognize it as Tibetan at all.

Went to Koh Samui. Police were basically out on the first day of every month and that was it. Eatimg at hotels and restaurants etc are expensive as fuck. Follow thai people for rice and noodles for next to nothing. Rent moped for £2 a day. Dont get roped into jewellery shops by tuktuk men. Dont get bummed

>>610113281
I highly doubt there is a fucking punctuation class to enter the Marines, so, everyone who said "hurr durr they didn't teach you how to punctuate in the Marines?" is dumb!

There was however an English class in high school that taught about run-on sentences, so you are a fucking retarded typical American faggot!

Sincerely,

An American.

>>610116796
What if I want to get bummed? :(

>>610113671
Kek

What do i have to pay , if i want some stuff that is a bit strange to some of them , sexually whise ? like what d ia have to pay , if i want that she shits on my stomache and rubs her tit in it ?

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I'm going to save up 500k and just move there. 500k here is almost like you have 3-4 million in the US.

>>610116696
Thanks man.

Been to Thailand 8 times now, mostly in Bangkok. Don't do drugs, start your day with a massage (whatever comes with that), and enjoy the food - look where thai people eat. Try to find 'larb moo' or 'pad thai' or 'som tam'. It's good! And try the insects food, or durians : that stuff is actually very nice, and its safe.
Enjoy your stay, I'm jealous.

>>610111295

i've recently been to Bangkok for a month... stay away from the 'red light districts', backpackers area, drunk British guys and other tourist traps... It sucks and is the same anywhere in the world.

Do eat at the local foodstands (if they dont speak english let them just make something for you), drink at local bars... lots of live music. You will know the top 5 thai songs in 3 days.

Get used to having ice in your beer.

Get on Tinder to meet girls... it's very popular.

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>>610117596
>Get used to having ice in your beer.

>>610117596

ice in my beer? oh gawd no. I'd rather just drink mix drinks and cocktails at that point.

OP when are you going? I'm heading back in september probably. This will be my 3rd trip to thailand. I'm a 27 year old white american dude, here's my suggestions-

Most of these anons have good suggestions, but I guess it's what kind of trip you're looking for.
I like to start off in Bangkok and do the temples, and the city, and then I like to move down to pattaya and end in koh samui/ koh pangan. the full moon festival is nuts. Honestly you already missed the best time to go to thailand, during songkran (whole city turns into a squirt gun fight), but it will still be rad when you go.
here's some bangkok specifics:

stay at Dang Derm Hotel on Khao San rd. It cost about 30 us a night, but all the young hot euro chicks stay there, and the rooftop pool parties are crazy. It's rather modern and nice too.
For red light disctricts- go to Soi Cowboy, not Nana Plaza

Avoid the russian brothels in pattaya. The mobsters there will rob you if you don't buy one of their girls.

Shop at MBK. Not siam square. There's a lot of shops at MBK where they just have designer catalogs, you tell them what you want, come back in 10 minutes and voila you have a brand new Burberry shirt for $8

good luck and have fun. dont do drugs there. just drink a shitload of thai whiskey

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>>610113931
20 years ago there was a best seller about how over crowded and shit that part of Thailand is.

>>610114940
Thanks, also do I have to carry my passport at all times?>>610117596
What should I do about a phone out there, should I bring my smartphone?

Also by meet girls you mean non thai or thai girls.

>>610117342
Its nothing, but don't take my word too seriously, I've never been to Thailand so the advice I'm giving is all based on assumptions. Not that that means its necessarily bad, but I recommend that you do get a second opinion.

>>610117596
dont get ice in your beer. and dont eat from the local shits...they have zero hygiene. You will spend weeks shittin on the toilet eatin there. And for gods sake...avoid ice cubes...their water is damn dirty ... you dont want this in your drinks.

>>610118574
I know, I know. Anyway if I'm ever going there (I'd like to) I'll ask properly.

>>610118522
I just bought a $10 prepaid phone there. But I used my iphone to navigate around via wifi

>>610118578
I read that in a book too, however, common sense tells me that clear ice is clean

also OP, look up 'Stickman's guide to Thailand'
I think you'll like it.

>>610118578

I'm sorry your pussy ass has the stomach of a newborn potato.

>>610116388
They blackmale every penny from you and your relatives have.

>>610118305
Heading out to Bangkok in September. Should I get some sort of book/guide to all the temples and cool places in the city.

Thanks on the hotel suggestion, also looking at hostels and just dirty cheap places to stay. Don't mind a bit of backpacking either.

Thanks for the tips bro

>>610119183
>blackmale
>black male

having a little freudian slip there, cuckfag?

>>610119183
Have you or anyone you know had this happen? Do you know what the fines actually are?

I think I was in patia Bay (spelling?). Go to Boys town. Just non stop action, tits out. Get your cock sucked in any bar. Every bar is a strip club. Boystown is a street full of faggot bars for faggots like yourself. Faggot.

>>610119465
bro if you're heading there in september too, hmu
kik: caravaggio

>>610119465
Just get the relevant Lonely Planet guide if you want some suggestions and reading materiel.

>>610119679
kek

>>610118522

Dont carry your passport around... put it in a safe in your hotel. If you do get in trouble with the police pay them or call the hotel (get a decent hotel and get to know the staff there). Bringing your phone would be fine, but it depends on where you go obviously... wouldnt take it to a brothel. Also get a thai sim card.

On tinder i found lots of thai girls who just wanted to chat, others that wanted to meet and show me the city... also lots of backpackers from anywhere around the world that are only there for a couple days/weeks.

>>610118578

I've almost only ate at those local shits... and can confirm they have zero hygiene. But you will be on the toilet anyway... thats just the way it is. You can get that stuff to harden your shit at any 7/11 or pharmacy, forget what it is called .

Also the icecubes come from 'regular' water in a bag from a supermarket most of the time. And when you're sweating your ass of and your beer is warm within 5 minutes you will be begging for ice in that glass...

Also learn to say hello/bye how are you/ name of the street your hotel is in in Thai etc but that speaks for itself I guess...

>>610113671
heheheh i get it

>>610119952
easy way to avoid ice in your beer is to just buy the 10baht bottles of tiger beer from the coolers. kek

>>610120233
Tiger beer for 21p.

I'm seriously liking the sound of Thiland from this thread. I've been looking into tefl courses. Might go teach English over there for a summer

>>610119736
tv show
http://tvnz.co.nz/big-trouble-in-thailand/3727763

>>610120444
DO NOT SIGN UP FOR TEFL COURSES
YOU WILL END UP AS BASICALLY AN INDENTURED SERVANT IN BUMFUCK NOWHERE THAILAND

>>610120752
I dunno man. My aunt did tefl and she's loving her job out in South Korea. I can imagine it being different in Thailand though

>>610120233
>>610120444
He's full of shit.

There hasn't been 10฿ Beer for 20 years or more.

>>610111295
If you stay in Bangkok, avoid clubs run by Muslims, they're fucking assholes and hate americans/whites

>>610120661
Oh cool that totally makes it true. Maybe I should ask Fox News if they have the down low on thailand.

>>610121100
Learn2changmai

>>610112267
Yeah will be doing the same brothers

>>610113174
Get back to reading you text book then faggot

>>610113671
lol always

>>610121253
Just stop spilling bullshit or trolling what ever the fuck you think you're doing.

>>610113680
lost

>>610113753
Do the same safer in car try to get one with bull bar and it's safer in vehicle.. Also never stop if accident drive off to safe destination and sort out with insurance immediately

>>610118185
Lel, this happened to me and I was shocked, but eventually the Thai's I hung out with knew not to put ice in my beers.

>>610113680
My fucking sides

>>610114842
Bunch of retarded shit and not true at all

>>610114940
What faggot would pay for a hand job

>>610114995
So some respect and compassion you worthless zilch

>>610116388
Are you fucking retarded hahaha
I lived in Thailand and went to school there and no joke, they take weed more serious than Ketamine, Xanax, XTC or even cocaine. They'll usually want up to the 50-100kBHT range for a bribe...

>>610115362
It's even better is some situations

>>610112267
actually i am a thai marine and bangkok laundry or lucifers laundry (400) will do pingpong show while they do your laundry in bangkok

>>610113174
he lost them all in afghanistan

>>610122757
Bro I still live in thailand.

Ask me anything.

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>>610115741

Dis is all you will ever be faggot

>>610116388
Would be such a better place with more tourists if they won't such cunts about drugs

>>610123126
Do you live close to Nonthaburi?
Are you Thai?

>>610123444
No I live near Ramkhamhaeng. I have a thai wife.

>>610117246
Well scat loving fag that would be hard to find because not ever one is a sick disgusting faggot

>>610123620
Do you use drugs? - if so, which?

>>610123714
Not really. I get methylphenidate prescribed though.

>>610114842
I too can confirm don't touch the head. Us thai girls prefer you work with our shaft and balls instead.

>>610124151
TOPKEK

>>610112267
I was in the Navy Seals and what the fuck did you just say to me you little birch ill know you i stayed in pattaya and fucked 300 sluts and trained in laundry warfare i am there top customer in all of americans precision and shit idk man as we speak im fucking more bad ass sluts across pattaya idk i can be anywhere and still find a birch to fuck with my bare hands and shit not only am i trained in unarmed sex but arsenal of dildos and i use it to fuck there miserable asses now your paying the price 400 american your fucking lucifer kiddo

>>610125047
TOPKEK