My xbox one.....i guess i beat him over the head with a 15 lb box?

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sheeeettttt

a guitar tuner

>>609561559
30 lb computer case I dunno it might kill it

>>609561559
Empty water bottle.
Pretty fucked.

Guitar
Either kill him with brute force or my terrible playing. Win/win for me.

>>609561559
A bottle of Listerine Freshburst Antiseptic. I'm fucked, unless he has bad breath.

Well, I dont know how useful a vacuum cleaner would be, but hey, maybe I could bludgeon him to death.

My replica Scissor Blade from Kill La Kill
I might get some hits in there but will probably dead

Glass ashtray, could be promising

LEL LE FUNNY ME ME. +1 UPVOTE AND SHARE! I'LL MAKE SURE MY FRIENDS SEE THIS!

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NOTHING BUT MY SWOLE NUCLEAR WEAPONS

Deodorant? Guess he'll smell nice after I'm fucking molested.

>>609561559
I have a Bowie knife with a foot and a half blade. Feeling pretty confident.

My phone i guess i can download a gun app that has always worked for me so far ...

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>>609562552

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>>609561559

It is gonna be a quick and glorious defeat.

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>>609561559
That bitch gonna get beat with fucking lemonade!
His eyes white? Nope, they're yellow and red.

>>609562634
>18 inch blade for anything
You dont seem very confident

A fire poker... I might kill it, is a heavy old fashion one.

>>609561559
Toy mouse for a cat. Hmm, it could distract IT.

My second monitor

Roadside picnic by strugatsky...does it read?

>>609562946
Why haven't you killed yourself yet?

so is 4chan fucking facebook now?

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I'm good.

My cell phone. Take picture. Request /b/ post dubbs tell me what I should do....

a half-full bag of chips

well there goes my throat

hefty wank rag pile.

Might work

>>609562873
It's a S&W 146 year anniversary bowie knife, mostly for decoration, but you could still shoot the thing and it would be fine.

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this chair

>>609563178
It has been for a few years now.

>>609561934
Nigga why you got some floppy ass dysan disc...step up yo game...cd's for your mixtape

>>609561559
Looks like im gonna have to try summon blue eyes white dragon...

I have a pillow to my left. Maybe if I can trick him into going to sleep, I can smother him with it.

My smokes. We will just toke cos he seems to be a /b/ro

Anal beads

A right angle pillow, well fuck

>>609563426
A white dragon just reeks of gayness.

>>609563426
Hopefully he doesn't have Bottomless or Solemn Warning

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>>609561559
my estwing bush axe. damn thats lucky

>>609562390
beta weeb trash

also, a coat hanger

My AK, yeah, i never go to the bathroom without mi AK

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>chill with this motherfucker

>>609561559
roll of duct tape. i'm good, since duct tape does everything

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My roommate. He is a boxer though, so it could be worse.

>>609563709
Is that nerd talk?

>>609563580
Go on...

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Lel Hard.... That think was shoped in 2 min!

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>>609561960
Next best thing

Mah dick

>>609561559
steak knife

eh, could be worse

>>609561559
A Nerf gun...

>>609564018
Your dick is to the left? What the fuck?

the ceiling

Currently my gun case with my boomsticks. I might win if im fast enough....

>>609564018
>being this gay
>being this new

A bag of jolly ranchers...............sheet

>>609561786
That's about the only thing its good for anyways

I'm going to smash a fucking Stella can into his forehead?

>>609561559
this thing again. okaaaaay i still have just a wall next to me.

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I'm fine

>>609564140
why do you have a nerf gun, you fucking 12 year old faggot. underage b&

>>609563754
Eh, I bought it for a cosplay prop then displayed it since then in my room. I don't have a weapon collection
>>609563935
Yeah, Yugioh talk

>>609564193

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYwiwbgMusY

A broken macbook. Is there any other kind?

Glass of liquor. I lose.

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>>609561559

Doing just fine

>>609564409
I guess you don't have any friends to have nerf gun fights with. Not OP

We can have a pillow fight, sexy.

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Looks like that skinwalker is about to get slammed!

>>609563580
Still not as gay as blue eyes white dragon

>>609563825
thats a line in a musical called suessical

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It's nothing for me

>>609564601
My friends and I drive by nerf each other shits fun as fuck

>>609564432
Wait, cosplay? You're a girl? Or are you a guy cosplaying Ryuko?

>>609564432
your becoming more beta as you speak

>>609564598
>that $30 sata to usb cable
At least I wasnt the only one to buy that overpriced shit

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My amp cord. I am completely fucked.

>>609564240
This fag replying to >>609564018
This fag
new newness all over

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Literally a fucking arse-scratcher.

>>609564598
a USB cord?
Nice

>>609564817

Mistakes were made

>>609563580
Mum?

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>>609561559
>glass
I guess I'll just smash it into his face.

Probably still pretty fucked, though.

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All i have is a dragon dildo.

>>609565034
Yes honey, what is it dear?

I'm taking a shit

I've got to use a fucking roll of toilet paper

My compound bow. I win this time!

My belt. I'm gonna whoop that nigga's ass.

>>609561559
Used tissue. Fuck.

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>>609565423
Whoop his ass Grandad!

Window.
>jump through window
>glass shatters
>guillotines my legs off
>fall 2 stories to ground
>land on neck
>paralyzed
>no paralyze-heal item to my left
>motherfucker rekts me

>>609561559
My bra

>>609565335
>shitting while shitposting on 4chan

mah nigga i do this everyday

>>609561559
A pillow. I got this guys

All I got is a coffee mug. Wish me luck.

>>609565294
Who is Ana Beads?

>>609565800
You must be an extreme pessimist.

A chair. I got this guys.

>>609565885
Post Tits if you would be so inclined my dear.

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I guess will just feed it ramen noodles. Best win.

>>609562390
Pat/Liam im sure youll make it.

>>609564779
No, I'm a guy. I was doing a half assed cosplay, since I have a jacket that has the Senketsu design on it.
>>609564797
Yeah, the beta that has a gf who likes to cosplay with them

>>609566521
Considering ramen noodles taste like utter shit, that thing will probably rip you to shreds for your insolence.

>>609561559
my gf is to the left........

>throw gf at it
>it starts molesting her
>film it, webm it
>post to /b

aah......if only

A Nokia phone.

Looks like I live gentlemen...

>>609566741
That's how /b/ thinks bro, my african american!

Metal folding chair

>>609566684
having a gf doesnt mean you arent beta faggot
and how old are you, animu fag?

>>609566521
"Ramen"

Let's go to the rape

>>609567012
Old enough to browse 4chan, thats for sure
or 23, to be more specific

>>609566286
Your new best friend Rod Gozinya

>>609561559
Pillow... Could shove it up its throat and suffocate it, everything's possible

>>609566693
Not if the noodles rip up his insides beforehand.

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Pretty fucked

A machete, bring it on bitch

>>609567774
you could light a blunt with him and just chill out

>>609561559
My bass guitar.
RIP Buttstuff

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>>609567743
Touché.

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>>609561559
Ayy lmao.

>>609568022
Ya that could be an option, but I think I would go paranoid real fast there if I did smoke a joint with that motherfucker.

>>609568155
>>609564598
>>609563193
why are there so many americucks with guns on them at all times?

Cellphone. It's hard as fuck, I could kill it if I hit the head I guess.

>>609566684
Add my skype.

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I should be fine

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uh...

>>609561559
Idk. I have a soda and a phone to my left.

But why would I be fucked? He looks skinny and gangly as fuck. Like, zero muscle mass. Holocaust survivor of monsters.

I'm no badass or anything, but I'm pretty sure I could take that skinny fuck.

Hunting knife, I should be fine

>>609568528
I keep mine in my bedroom either under my pillow or under my bed, and I currently happen to be in my bedroom sitting on my bed. Dunno about everyone else though.

My blu-ray of Caligula. I'll just use my fists

An xbox one controller
> over 40 improvements

A fucking nerf sword

An empty bag of McCoys. Shit.

>>609569597
What if someone broke into your house, and found your gun under your bed? How would that make you feel?

Also, what if they tied you up, and sat you in a chair, and raped your wifes in front of you with your own gun, then, after pistol whipping your wife, he walks upstairs to your daughters room where she is still sleeping.

>>609561559
A 20 lb dumbbell.

Pls, /fit/, don't fail me now.

>>609570118
go on... what does he do to his daughters?

>>609569545
It's supposed to have paranormal strength that nothing else that size would have. But really, if you aren't a little bitch that thing would be dead in a minute.

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I'm feeling pretty good about it

>>609561559
A pillow... Maybe I could smother it?

>>609570118
Currently single. If someone were to find my gun under my bed and use it against me I'd feel like shit, but then again, why would someone look under my bed to begin with, more importantly, why, if they were in my house, presumably breaking in (the scenario you describe seems to involve me being at home as well), why would I not have shot them already? A few .45 rounds will fuck up your day in a big way.

>>609570118
The idea is that your robber wouldn't be fucking batman and be able to not only enter your house silently, but also your room, and be right next to your damn head before you wake up.

>>609570493
I don't know much about knives, but why does it have a small rope on it?

>>609561559
My pillow. Guess I can suffocate him.

one of those giant metal police flashlights. i think i may be alright

>>609570838
TOP KEK

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>>609562390
As long as you don't lose your way, you'll always be okay.

>>609570118
>what if someone broke into your house
Then he would have a gun and get them to fuck off, at least that's what your scenario is saying, considering he was tied up

>>609561559
i will wreck this thing... with a blue ink pen!!!!

>>609570838
>>609571072
Hopefully he doesn't sleep like a log, or he'll never hear someone breaking it. That's my weakness. I'm a deep sleeper.

>>609570881
Its paracord. And while it's for emergenies technically, people mostly put it all over their stuff for aesthetic reasons. The shoddy job makes me think he has it on there for emergencies.

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>>609569363
Sure, what is it
>>609571062
ayyy

>>609570792
If everyone has a gun then why dont people shot each other duing home invasion.

If thieves know they might get shot up with a shotgun then why not shot back?

I understand not wanting murder on your rap sheet but if you get killed before hand then it doesnt matter about your rap sheet.

>>609571072
>>609570910
>>609570838
>>609570792
>>609570582
>>609570493
>>609570331
>>609570118
>>609569597
>>609569365
ITT paranoid americucks
>but muh guns
>but muh second amendment

>>609571307
Could always get a tactical assault doge

>>609561559
>I got a knife and a wallet which one op think would be more effective.?

>>609571210
I really, really like your post

>>609571521
>someone gives a scenario
>we answer it in ways that it could be solved if he had a gun

If you don't want answered, don't say stupid shit

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I'm fucked

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My Camera!
Seems like i have the same weapon as the guy who took that foto

>>609571845
give him a drink

>>609571521
I wouldn't necessarily say paranoid. I just don't really have a better place to store it, and in the off chance that I might need it to defend myself it'll be around. Typically though I just use it at the range. I find firing a couple hundred rounds after work to be great at relieving stress.

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>>609561559
I think I'm good

>>609571407
Err, maybe it'd be safer if I gave it to you via throwaway email. [email protected]

>>609565244
rape the rake

>>609571934
Nice camera. How much did it run you?

>>609561559
A thick glass bowl with some milk residue from this mornings Cheerios. Might be fucked...

>>609571521
I don't own a gun, and I'm Australian. I'm the one with a pillow.

>>609571934
damn you got a hellla nice set up nigger

>>609571670
it's obviously just a jew that has undergone the third stage of the Ashekinazi ritual. throw him a couple twentys and you'll be good

Let's hope he will agree for a fair pillowfight

>>609572835
this. thanks for the laugh anon

>>609561559
Tablet = take a photo like pic related
die

An empty plastic cup.
Eh, I mean I could probably shove it in his mouth an run away, it's a pretty big cup.

>>609571521
I was going through them cause I was just on /k/ a bit ago talking about, you guessed it, guns. Then I just grabbed the biggest one I had to my left.

>>609570881
I put it there. Never know when ten feet of cord will come in handy.