gather round /b/, heres the story of why I wish I was a virgin.
>be me
>14
>best friend is a man-beast hulk, but still socially awkward enough to not be alpha
>gril at school starts talking to me and asking questions about him
>not much to look at, solid pi*100/1000
>obviously trying to get to him through me
>dont mind being used because fuck it im interacting with a female
>keeps making me promise to drop him hints that she likes him
>keep not dropping hints
>start seeing her more often as she gets more desperate
>tell her hes not interested even though i havent told him anything
>feel bad, but OP’s needs are greater
>her flower is prime and ready for harvest, the desperation increases
>start seeing her after school to talk about him
>weeks go passed
>biological pressure is too much, she 180 flips and kisses me randomly
>asks if i want to go out with her
>alphamale.exe has successfully been installed
>we date for months
>one day her friend asks if im “excited about saturday”
>wut
>apparently it has been arranged that OP loses his virginity
>glory be to the chosen one
1/4
>over the week excitement slowly replaced with fear as the pressure builds
>everyone talking about how OP is going to perform
>jocks high-fiving and laughing in the corridor
>grills giggling as i walk past
>teacher holds me back after class
>”heres a condom OP. go get em boy”
>big day arrives
>im sweating
>havent slept, played civ all night to take my mind off the impending ritual act
>my body is ready, the mind is not
>like clockwork she calls and asks if i want to go for pizza
>we go
>its snowing, shes wearing a skirt
>illogical choice of garment clearly chosen to facilitate insemination
>i only order a side of nuggets
>”whats wrong OP?”
>im visibly shaking with nerves
>go to toilet, throw up
>bate furiously to please the gods
>start to relax
>go back and finish nuggets
>”theres something i want to show you in the car park OP”
>unrelax
>the mating dance has begun
>i can hear the distant tribal drums
>customers drop their food and start humming
>the cashier begins chanting in tongues
>the cook sacrifices a goat in my honor
>today valhalla opens its doors to me
2/4
Keep going fap fap
Rest of story?
Op type faster you faggot
>she takes me round the back into the staff car park
>has clearly done prior recon
>we get to spot behind the bins
>”take me OP”
>proceeds to lie down in snow
>assumes the the position of a fallen tree
>legs together, arms by her sides
>”be gentle”
>this is nothing like porn
>my dick has shrivelled into a parallel dimension
>my mind is ready, but the body is not
>calculate best trajectory anyway
>take gloves off and pull down my pants
>spread her legs and lie ontop
>fingers and dick are numb with cold
>try to push spaghetti through a pinhole
>5 minutes of tactical exploration
>look down
>im in
>”are you in yet OP?”
3/4
>>674930051
Faggots actually type with the speed of light due to the flexibility of their fingers and their strong hands
>>674930155
In the snow? Dude what?
>>674930239
They must have strong grip to deal with all the penis they consume. I get it now. So op is not a faggot. Just a girl in a boy's body.
Its his dad
Hurry up damn it, This is hilarious.
>>674930598
/thread
>>674930441
No because heteros are the only humanoids that don't have crab hands? Or a girls body in a girls body in a boys body in a trans body in a girls body in a boys body in a trans body in a trans body in girls body.
The story of how i fucked my dad. /thread
waiting for op is like waiting for candlejack to ret
And.....ok nudes thread now.
fags
>>674930867
>And.....ok nudes thread now.
>>674930743
It makes sense. Not faggot. Pansexual.
>>674930974
>>>674930867
>>And.....ok nudes thread now.
Hello booger
>>674930974
hello booger
>it was that moment i realized i was gay
>the end
>>674929440
Stoped reading after
>teacher holds me back after class
"Here's a condom OP. Go get em boy"
>>674931312
Bruce Jenner is that you?
>>674931489
It's fake as hell but I was reading it for the lulz
>>674931516
Its Caitlyn now
Fucking type faster OP
>>674931612
Faggit faggot. What's the difference. Shit is shit no matter what you do to it.
>>674930974
top fucking kek
>”i dont think its working, lets try foreplay”
>i stand up, she kneels at my foot about to be knighted
>this is my moment
>dick out ready for resurrection
>mouth opens
>in it goes
>suddenly i feel for the first time in 10 minutes
>she bites down on my party weiner as she jerks back
>thepain.mp4
>look down
>blood everywhere
>”oh my god, s-s-sorry”
>cant speak
>pull up my trousers in horror
>freeze
>stare into space
>can see her mouth moving, but cant hear the words
>pass out
>wake up in ambulance
>on route to dick surgery
>stitches in my dick
>her crying
>break up with her in the hospital in front of her family
>had to change schools
>10 years on
>the humiliation still makes me cringe every day
4/4
>>674931743
Big difference. No penis
>>674931826
meh/10
I've got a story
>be me
>be two weeks ago
>at a club with my girlfriend and Co
>watching idiots who can't dance
>get moderately drunk
>girlfriend is chatting to me "it's getting late, we should start heading home"
>just bought a drink, decided to go toilet first and down my pint
>we leave
>in the taxi
>shitsnotright.jpeg
Cont?
>>674931826
thats all?
>>674930974
hello booger
>>674931826
Well it WAS funny. I'm out.
>>674931995
cont ops story was lame at the eend
>>674931066
chekd
>>674930155
>>674931995
>>674932152
Cont.
>I'm feeling fantastic
>we get out of the taxi, and go to her house.
>"your pupils are fucking huge, anon. I'll get my dad to drop you home."
>3 am, her father drives me the 2 minutes it takes to get home.
>definitelyspiked.xtc
Cont?
>>674932653
pls do
>>674932653
Don't fucking ask everytime, faggot. Just type it
Fuck this dumbass thread with these dumbass stories. I'm out m8
>>674932653
yes
just finish it, dont ask again
>>674932653
why bother asking obviously continue retard
Her name is Javiela. She cheated on me for a few months before I figured it all out. It hurts like a bitch and it's my time for payback. I am here by today releasing all her videos( bitch loved getting in the ass , jesus that pussy) She is also legal I promise. http://www93.zippyshare.com/v/Ch8T5Yet/file.html Will be removed in 5 mintues. /b/ OP is not a fag <3 9
>>674931879
Ok I'll be politically correct. In the instance of which where one is speaking about Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner , one must remember that it is neither faggot nor lesbian, but transsexual instead. Going further, calling this anything less than is the same as calling shit by a different name. I.e. "I took this shit the other day and decided to call it Doug.", to which other faggots on 4chan would reply,"it's still shit."
hey
>>674933085
kys
>>674933085
kys pls
>>674932993
>>674932653
>>674932751
>dropped to my front door, wave goodbye to her dad.
>fumble with my keys for ~20 minutes
>finally.dooropens
>get a text message from my girlfriend
>"maybe you should tell your mother that you've been spiked"
>"Awesome sounds like a fucking amazing idea"
>Go to my mam's room and turn on every light in her room.
>lay down beside her and start nudging her
>"Ma, ma, I think I've just been spiked "
>"just go to bed, anon"
>she falls back asleep
>nudge again
>"I feel FUCKING amazing, ma"
>"just go to sleep"