>>602873896
Reloaded 4 rounds of .30-06 before I realized there was no powder in them.

Also, accidentally dry fired a model 29.

>>602874566
Oh and I forgot I wasn't on /k/, so I guess we can add that to this list...

slapped my girl in the face

Cyber bullied a fourteen year old girl with cancer.

>>602875175
lawl

I jerked off in public a few times...im not into being an awfull humanbeing

>>602873896
One time when I was 12 my fatass sister pissed me off for whatever reason. I decided I'd get revenge by pumping a load into her sunscreen. 3 months later she goes to the beach and comes home with splotches of sunburn all over her body. No pics cause no one wants to fap to that landwhale

>>602873896
masturbated in the water at the beach when Ii was 13 to the sexy lifeguards. Im pretty sure she was watching me the whole time

>>602873896
is that tupac in the background?

>>602875533
Stare at her in the eyes and finish like a beast!

>>602875024
i hope you went to jail you sick bastard man pig

>>602875503
pics or it didn't happen

>>602875993
Go back to tumblr, faggot

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog. When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out but the worst thing I ever done I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, I made a noise like this hua hua hua huaaaaaaa and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

hit my brother with a machete

>>602873896
today i passed a guy on the right

>>602876472
this is a movie.

9/11

>>602876894
You sick fuck

>>602873896
>deleted ex step sisters 10hr essay
>told ex step sisters boyfriend i found dick pics on her phone
>tied a cat to ceiling fan
>shut a cat between a window for a week
>never wash hands after masturbating even when cum is all over hands and I live in a student home

I guess I havent done that many bad things really.

>>602876952
= .81 repeating.

never forget because it's the only math problem you can't get google to solve.

File: 1418234954491.jpg (25 KB, 600x450) Image search: [Google]

25 KB, 600x450

>>602876931

>>602877175
Why do you do fucks hate cats so much?

>>602874566
>>602874756
It's alright. /k/'s here and understands you.

File: 1418784526659.jpg (40 KB, 640x640) Image search: [Google]

40 KB, 640x640

Accidentally burned down a river.

Long story short, don't start hobo fires in plastic bins.

File: pepe.jpg (9 KB, 228x221) Image search: [Google]

9 KB, 228x221

This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but here goes.
>be me
>be 15, freshman in high school
>in literature class, sit directly in front of 9.5/10
>I was but a lonely betafag at the time and had done my hair up nice
> 9.5/10 taps me on the shoulder and says, "Wow anon, your hair is so handsome"
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>unfortunately I got too excited and squealed like a mare in heat
>mfw whole classroom goes silent
>mfw no grills spoke to me for a year

>>602877677
I was young I remember flushing them in toilets and all that. There was times where I did feel unnecessary anger towards them. Borderlines hate cats (I was on my way becoming one myself). I'm not one now obviously.

>>602878426
hi are nine kay

>>602877677
Do you really believe what this fuck is saying? He's probably some underage nerd who lives in his mom's basement, and is pretending to be egdy.
-he pretend he has a sister for us to think that he has any kind of contact with women out of guys mother
-he pretend his sister has a boyfriend for us to think his sister is older than him, and he is Alfa
-he pretends to be mean to cats for us to think his egdy
That last part was totally a confirmation of that

>>602875993
I hope you get raped by a pack of niggers.

>>602878777
>pack
Lol

>>602878672
I don't imply any of those things, I hate my life and who I've became. I have nothing to hide.

>>602878983
You didn't directly imply those things, yet again you pretend to be egdy by the old and lame hating yourself bullshit

>posted some retarded footage of fat friend when i was 9 on youtube and responded to comments calling him a fat fuck

>>602878777
TRIPS!

>>602879221
>9
>YouTube
Underage detected

>>602879426
that was 06 or 7

>>602878777
Dis gon be gud

>>602879626
Fair enough

>>602873896
a few weeks ago my nieghbors husband was roughing her up and i just passed by them as fast as i could. probably not the worst thing i've done but it felt wrong

>>602873896
when i was 16 i drugged my gf who was 19 with valium so she would black out and buy more booze. which she did.

before xmas i was talkin to another exgf and convinced her to buy me dope and shoot me, after which i kicked her outta my place.

treat woman like shit and get high, they like men who are that

File: Alizee_009.jpg (479 KB, 1600x1200) Image search: [Google]

479 KB, 1600x1200

> Stalked a hot teacher with obscene phone calls, drive by, trick-or-treating, etc.

> Got a slow girl to blow me by letting her think I was interested in a relationship

> Kicked the shit out of a guy and gave him PTSD

> Dox'd a guy outing him as an anti-Xtian to his fundie wife, kids, and Pastor. He might get divorced because of it. Had he not been an asshole, I wouldn't have done it.

>>602879202
fuck off. youre projecting dude. my mom had plenty of bfs and ive done a lot of moving. btw my sisters were 10 years older, i didnt know thatd make me fucking alpha. actually at the time i didnt even like women or cheaters in that matter because i believed my mom was a whore, so i didnt give a shit when i told her bf.

>>602880109
shoot me up*

File: 1425498597754.jpg (157 KB, 650x366) Image search: [Google]

157 KB, 650x366

>>602875819
Letting everyone know your new

>>602873896
I shamed a Weight-impaired person and posted it online for a laugh and it went viral.

>fucked my friends mom twice and came inside her

>>602880299
>got a slow girls to blow me

Kek

>>602873896
i poked an 8 year old in the eye as hard as i could when i was 19. little nigger cried like a bitch

>>602873896
Had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

I took a dookie in the urinal

>>602880405
How's that bad?

I go swimming and intentionally swim underwater to look at dem asses.

It's great would recommend to anybody with access to a university swimming pool

>>602880697
well done bro

well done

File: 123babynigger.png (499 KB, 1067x625) Image search: [Google]

499 KB, 1067x625

I almost used the 'n' word once.

>>602880850
It's great, minus the chlorinated piss water...

File: 1423463658549.png (246 KB, 680x623) Image search: [Google]

246 KB, 680x623

>>602880673
you sick fuck

>>602875024

Slapping a girl isn't that big a deal outside of tumblr/reddit/etc is it? I mean really, I think every guy I know who's been serious with a girl has had to smack some sense into her at some point. I know I have.

I punched my ex (indeed) girlfriend while being super drunk and that wasn't the first time, so she left me. I don't remember anything. I fuckin hate myself since :)

>>602873896
prayed in public

>>602880831
well for me I didn't care because she came onto me and he was a dick. But like in the grand scheme of society it's probably bad because I was underage.

>>602881157
KYLE??

Cheated on my girl with my best friends woman.

Funny to see someone just did the same thing just before my post. That was in the face as well. But well how did you manage to live with that ? :/

>>602881225
MONSTER

When I was 6 or 7 I made my little sister lick my dick and balls for a while. I licked her pussy once to convince her. Don't really know why I did it. She's 18 now no idea if she remembers or not.

>>602881155
Yes it is you Neanderthal. They're fucking women, smaller & more delicate than you faggot.

>>602881439
hope he trolling

>>602881326

Cheating is bad man, but fucking over your best bro, too? That's pretty low...

>>602881300

No, not Kyle here

>>602873896
Fapped to cp once

don't seed my torrents hardy hardy har

>>602880949
dude, one is a cute puppy, the other one is a free get out of jail free car. kill a bitch and point at the niglet and shazam, home free!

File: 1420393347552.jpg (26 KB, 640x358) Image search: [Google]

26 KB, 640x358

>>602875024

You're doing God's work. Keep it up.

I started being regular here some time ago.

>>602880405
Always wanted that to happen..

>>602881516
Tell me about it. I got my karma tho. As my girl abd best friend ended up fucking after they find out

File: rotw.jpg (53 KB, 350x300) Image search: [Google]

53 KB, 350x300

Rubbing the clit of a sleeping fresh 18 y girl with my foot. We were sleeping on couch at my cousins house. She was to far to use my hand, and if she woke up I wanted to be able to give her the impression that i was sleep

I dont seed....

>>602881439

I'm not talking a closed fist punch to the face or anything just a slap. She's done way worse to me.

>>602882014

Worse than Hitler.

>>602882014
Punk ass nigger you are the bane of society

>>602882064
If it's self defense... maybe, okay.

I sniff the ass of my sisters panties while jerking off whenever given the chance. Smells so damn good tho

File: 1282279581028.jpg (10 KB, 251x251) Image search: [Google]

10 KB, 251x251

>>602881439

Back to Tumblr with you.

>>602882234
Sick my dick.

File: 1397441328704.jpg (26 KB, 397x443) Image search: [Google]

26 KB, 397x443

>>602878777
>I hope you get raped by a pack of niggers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm3YrTk7qTY

>>602873896
I had sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation with my wife.

>>602881076
It's only piss water when it's a public swimming pool and there are kids and old people. University swimming pools are full of borderline alphas and it's pretty damn intimidating.

>spat on the back of this girls jacket in grade 6
>shot hobos with airsoft guns (me and my friend called it hobo hunting)
>told my mom to die of lung cancer

theres too many to list

>>602876472
Shut up chunk

treat women in a way they treat men.
( dumping them for nothing, cheating on them, making them pay for stuff and doing emotional blackmailing on them ). works great to obtain sex.

>>602875742
no, he's in argentina

>>602882659
>hobo hunting
Lol

OP here, was expecting some worse shit than that...

>>602880394
>I shamed a Weight-impaired person and posted it online for a laugh and it went viral.

Do you mean a fatty? If so, isn't it a "Weight-enhanced person"?

Weight-impaired is like an anorexic.

>>602881937
what if she sniffed your toe?

>>602883203
I don't think that would be her first thought...

File: 1423217245463.jpg (15 KB, 500x376) Image search: [Google]

15 KB, 500x376

i sexually molest strippers after lying and pretending to have lots of money. i can greentext if you want to hear details.

>>602883458

Go on.

Growing up I used to molest alot of my little cousins and some of my friends.

I've posted in a bunch of shit threads before.
This is one of them

>>602873896
stole things from people I don't like, not for the money but just to fuck with them

I gave all that stuff as presents to other people

File: donotwant.jpg (89 KB, 960x720) Image search: [Google]

89 KB, 960x720

>>602882486

If you're gonna used tired trope, at least use the full version

"I had sex in the missionary position with my lawfully wedded wife, with the lights out, under the covers for the sole purpose of procreation."

Pic is probably what your wife looks like.

>>602881937
Sex offender detected.

>>602883458
carry on

>>602883806
if dubs, post nudes

When I was 10-19 I molested my little sister on the regular, though tamely. I had my hand on her ass more than I would my gf. I stripped her naked quite a few times and exposed myself to her. Jacked off to her constantly. Finally grew up and it all stopped when we nearly crossed a line. Come to find out she thought she instigated ALL of it and she was at least as turned on by it as I was. Mom had a similar relationship with her brother when young. F'd up family.

File: Shan 2.png (68 KB, 134x219) Image search: [Google]

68 KB, 134x219

>>602883998

Don't have noodz, but, if trips, I'll post her Cancerbook so she can get love letters / fantasies from /b/.

>>602877462
ypou realize that this quote means you need to post a vid of you doing the truffle shuffel

>>602883458
yes please

>>602873896
got a ~9 yr old girl with birth defects hooked on a blackjack variant played with goldfish
>snackjack
>never again

File: 1406253970436.png (308 KB, 546x700) Image search: [Google]

308 KB, 546x700

>>602881439

>>602884411
then I went to /b/ and fucked around and got a triple double

>>602873896
I still get on /b/. I am turning 30 in a month, been here a decade. shouldn't be here anymore. I guess I enjoy it when 14 y.o's have been here 2 months, and then call me newfag.

>>602884566
What the fuck is this back to tumblr bullshit?

Inb4 newfag

File: deniro_casino.jpg (69 KB, 1200x500) Image search: [Google]

69 KB, 1200x500

>>602884411
>MFW she becomes a mad fucking card shark when she grows up
>MFW she breaks kneecaps for goldfish

>>602884117
Viserys Targaryen gtfo

>>602884220
no thanks

>>602884411
>trip dubs

Being alive

>>602884117
it upsets me how much this turns me on
never once have I considered incest in my own family, but FUCK it turns me on

>>602884117
How does one go about initiating this?

>>602884632
LOL Nba fan?

>>602877175
Step 1: Find drawstring bag.
Step 2: Place kitty in drawstring bag for safe keeping.
Step 3: Close drawstring bag.
Step 4: Turn on vacuum cleaner next to drawstring bag.
Step 5: Hilarity ensues.
Step 6: Let cat out of bag before it shits itself.
Step 7: Hilarity resumes.

File: 1314213904414.jpg (139 KB, 700x477) Image search: [Google]

139 KB, 700x477

Dating/Fucking some Chick

She doesn't want to fuck anymore

Texted her "you are no use for me anymore"
It was on her birthday, she cried for couple of days.

>mfw

>>602885500
>trip dubs

>>602885940
I know. Just asking.

>>602885500
>>602884411
the triple doubles
>Checked Checked
>Checked Checked
>Checked Checked

>>602873896
once Nazi-saluted someone

Encouraged my gf to fuck her mum, her mum then gave her abuse for being fucked up. She's from a pretty fucked up family. Happened twice. Best two faps of my life.

Also fingered her in her sleep a few times (with permission prior to the fact) but then felt guilty when she started freaking out about it in her sleep.

I sneaked into someone's room while she was in hospital and sniffed her panties.

File: do u liek mah hat.jpg (119 KB, 640x640) Image search: [Google]

119 KB, 640x640

i once put an orange peel on top of a dog ._.

>>602887047
this is the shittiest story ever read like 8 lines and puked fuck off

>>602873896
>purposely drive slow when ppl tailgates me
>never do favors in return
>download my torrents and dont share
>talks a lot of shit but when im face to face act nice

>>602886682
>encouraged my gf to fuck her mum

Did it work?

File: 1423496767865.jpg (526 KB, 2048x1371) Image search: [Google]

526 KB, 2048x1371

>at a high school wrestling match at some inner city school
>were in the locker room waitng to weigh in
> bored as fuck looking though all the niggers at basketball pratices backpacks
>find a phone three
> hand it friend and say here you deserve it
>we go and weigh in
> we go out to the mat and wait for the match to start
>sitting next to friend and I hear a ringtone start to go off
> it's some nigger rap song I think it was The next episode
> I say to my friend that's really your ringtone
> he smiles and says no
> holy shit you actually took that phone
> yeah anon you handed it to me
> ringtone still going off
> start coughing to cover it up
> our coach comes around asking if anyone found a phone lying around
> we all say no didn't see anything
> after he leaves I turn to my friend and say you have to go put it back
> he runs back to the locker room
> he comes back to the mat with the biggest fucking grin
> where did you put it
> what
> you put it back right
> no I did but then I had second thoughts
> really
> no just kidding
> the niggers found there phone
the end

>>602878320
>burned down a river
Nigga what?

File: 1395468899601.jpg (41 KB, 601x601) Image search: [Google]

41 KB, 601x601

>be me
>7 years old or so
>I normally get along with the neighbor kids but for whatever reason this day I found them ganged up around me, kicking me in my legs
>take it like a badass for 10 or so seconds until I decided that was enough
>walk away without saying anything, go to a slide that was really old and falling apart
>break off a huge ass stick from it, at least as a kid it was so heavy I could just barely lift it
>see all the other kids faced away from me so sneak behind them
>use all my kid might to bash the kid in the head with the log
>he falls down, gets up and starts crying like a fucking fire engine
>his head has a massive wound that's bleeding
>kid runs home

>walk back home while the other kids watch me in silence
>stay inside for 2 days in fear of the kids parents coming to scold me, however they never did
>ever since that the kid seemed a bit... slow in the head
>tfw I never got in trouble
>tfw in one swing I got the respect of all the kids in my neighborhood as well as made one possibly retarded

>mfw I actually regret doing it to this day

>>602877175
are you kidding? you should be fucking shot for what you did to that cat! You are a horrible fucking person and should kill yourself! Poor kitty....

File: 1423449771615.jpg (8 KB, 250x250) Image search: [Google]

8 KB, 250x250

>>602887485
>brother has really good friend in middle school
>his friend was two years older than him and was in my grade
>start talking to this kid
>finds out he smokes weed
>go and tell my brother he's crushed
>he begins to hate his friend because he's a straightedge faggot
>wait about a month and go tell my brother that everything I said was a lie and his friend was really a saint
>start smaking weed with my brothers best friend and he's still none the wiser.
>wait anothe year till were all in high school
>we now have about 20 people in on the joke that my brothers best friend is a straightedge faggot
>one day my brothers friend comes in and tells him that he justed started smoking pot that week
>slowly starts to reveal his true self to my brother
>my brother is slowly crushed again finding out that his role model is a pot head
>finally he finds out that I was smoking pot with his best friend the whole time
>he dosnt talk to either of us for three months
>I'm 20 now and he's still pissed about
>probably because he's a straight edge faggot
fixed my spelling errors and fixed the greentext

don't 404 on me

One time me and this other girl, who was really just an acquaintance, basically molested this super drunk chick that I was into. Wasn't rape, no penitration, (my accomplice blew me after) but we made her our plaything for a good 2 hours. I wasn't even drunk, just on a shitload of heroin. Ive always looked back on this experience as being awesome and sexy af but now that I think about it, it would suck to have the spins and be uncomfortably shit faced while being molested.

>>602878426
kek'd hard

>>602890356
That sounds fucking fun, lucky guy.

File: 1423953007349.gif (173 KB, 225x224) Image search: [Google]

173 KB, 225x224

>>602877175
I hope you fucking die to what you did to the cat.

More of a confession. Dated a 21 year old guy when I was 13. Haven't told my boyfriend and I plan on never telling him.

>Once got an extra "mess up" sandwich while at burger king
>I don't eat mayonnaise
>Decide on the drive home to give it to the first homeless person I saw
>Took a route where I knew I'd see some on the corner begging
>First one was fat
>Drove to the next one and gave it to him

Currently banging the wife of a deployed serviceman.

Drove drunk. A lot.

Fingered a passed out girl at a party.

Tried to have sex with the family cat for some reason when I was like 12.

Cheated on past girlfriends.

Used girls who actually loved me.

Lied on my taxes.

I guess those are not so bad for this pit of deviance.

>>602879426
youtube was created in early 2005, I was in my last year of high school at that date. Meaning the OLDest he could if he was 9 in 2005 then is 19. 19 years and ONE month to be exact (Feb 2005). Odds are this ones a kid. Especially because the original pre-google youtube was not especially well known or popular and the concept of a video sharing site of that nature was pretty new. in 2005 social media was JUST starting to take off. 9 year olds at the time didnt even have fucking xangas let alone youtube accounts etc. You probably did this in like 2009 or 2010 when youtube didnt just hit mainstream but exploded. You are almost certainly underage. GTFO of my ADULT imageboard.

>>602880697
How would you like it if someone squatted over your mom, spread their ass and let a big mud monkey right on your moms face? Oh you think that's funny?

>>602885464
Lots of alone time with her. Fool parents trusted me. Good relationship too, leveraged that to get her to not recoil at me touch. Keep touching and touching. Strategically time walk-ins to when she's changing and treat it like she's the strange one for not wanting me to see her naked. Basically, molest a little til it becomes a lot, and head games. The whole thing fills me with shame though, don't do it.

Finger banged a passed out girl

>>602888706
Yeah, her mum had done some weird molesty shit in the past so we knew she'd be up for it

Apparently she was really aggressive the second time

>>602879426
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

File: 1422458089672.png (508 KB, 667x741) Image search: [Google]

508 KB, 667x741

>>602888911
kek

>>602890942
that's not bad he he's fat he's not really homeless

>>602874756
You should also probably admit that you're a faggot

hmm

>killed cat when i was 4-5
>told a dude he was homo in front of alot of people at a party, then punched him in the face. he came out of the closet
>punched a nigger in the face and called him a nigger at party

guess i'm a mean drunk, which is one of the reasons i don't drink anymore

>>602890745
When I was 21 I dated a 13 year old. Was it you? nah, kiddin. I don't regret it though, we had good times together and kept my pants on. She's quite a woman today and I'm glad of what we had back then.

File: google solved it.png (3 KB, 205x94) Image search: [Google]

3 KB, 205x94

>>602877271
u wot m8

>>602890599
Oh yeah it was very fun. Me being on H really played into that situation, like her weak protests just amused me. She would try to look into my eyes and appeal to me, I remember I just kinda gave a half smirk and pulled her in for an aggressive kiss
>>602891123
>>602891643
Ok I guess this is more common than I thought.. Well iit's b wtf do I expect haha

>>602892660
I'm glad it happened. The only reason I regret it is how he ended it. Well I ended it and he went insane. Tried to get me back multiple times. To this day I don't know why. Told him I just want him happy.

I wish it was you anon we would probably still be friends.

I shit in my garage once when I was 8 and my dogs ate it.

File: 5386538+_26ea4a2564be5823d6834b8f335ae07e.jpg (170 KB, 500x500) Image search: [Google]

170 KB, 500x500

>>602889789
I've seen a lot of genral bad things here but that must have been really physiologically damageging to your little brother he probably won't trust anyone now
your a dick

>>602892355
He wasn't FAT fat but he was at least chubby. Could have not been homeless. But regardless, I distinctly remember he had a sign made for begging. Most of them do.

File: 1409166131062.gif (3 MB, 404x275) Image search: [Google]

3 MB, 404x275

>>602894099

Lol fuck that. That's what his brother gets for being a straight edge faggot. Not that i even really smoke weed, but for gods sake what a little fuck

>>602894099
Newfag

>>602889789
Fucking faggot deserved it.
"I'M STRAIGHTEDGE ANYONE WHO ISNT STRAIGHTEDGE LIKE ME ISN'T A GOOD PERSON." Fucking queer.

>>602873896
>getting hevy w this chick and she fell asleep drunk mid bj. So I jerked off in her hair and left.

>completely trashing some dude who made the mistake of letting my group of friends into his house for a party, much was stolen and the cops were called. Also that kid shit his bed once he passed out drunk. My friend took pictures and showed everyone at his school

>Broke a guys jaw and took a Q/O of coke from him with two friends

>robbed a young kid who desperately wanted to be cool and for me and my friend to like him for a 1/4 pound of weed

>helped my friend dispose of a knife he used to stab a homeless guy who came up behind him in a large open desert area. There were EMT and fire trucks there the next day.

>many chicks who I told I would call and then never called again

>>602875742
the one with the camera? cause there's no one there ho looks anything like tupac
wtf are you on about?

>>602894937
I'm just saying that's really fucked up.
imagine if two very influential people in a young man's life (his older brother and older best friend) betrayed you like that

>>602873896
>Be me
>Just turned 21
>Did the thing
>Others may happened
>Alcohol was involved
>Feelsbad.flac
>Walked out of that garage
>Made my way downtown
>Others saw the thing
>MFW I literally fucked the monster from the movie "the thing"
>MFW I lost my face after fucking the monster from the movie "the thing"

>>602896032
They betrayed him by making a life choice, then
fuckin with him because he's a butthurt fag who deserves it?

>>602873896
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom.

>>602896738
That's absolutely disgusting.

>>602881436
that's coo

>>602881645
what kind of toppings

>>602885500
ice cube you stupid nigger

>>602896542
So just because his brother is upset at the fact that his brother and friend do illegal drugs he deserves to be hurt like that

>>602889240
thank you for the feels /b/rother

>>602897452
ILLEGAL DRUGS OH NOOOO.
MARIJUANA SO SCARY FOR LITTLE BOY OH NOOO.

jacked off and came in my neighbors pool while they were on vacation. felt zero shame and did the same thing twice the next day and once again the day after.

the best part is that the neighbor of mine had kids and they used the pool all the time.

>>602879851
I'm his neighbor.

>>602873896
fucked a dog in the ass

>be teenager
>work at drive thru liquor store in bumfuck nowhere ohio
>handle money from drug dealers, hookers, rednecks, etc all day
>nasty shit builds up under fingernails
>at end of shift go to bathroom and wash hands
>scrape nasty shit out of fingernails

Happens approximately daily

>one day pillhead coworker is being especially sleazy and bitchy
>gather up fingernail scum
>place in her monster (she drank it constantly)
>misses a week of work
>thought I killed her
>nope she stole pills, hid them in her vagina, and got caught by previous pill owners and had pills forcibly removed and got her ass handed to her

File: PHOTO_18266953.jpg (614 KB, 1920x1080) Image search: [Google]

614 KB, 1920x1080

>>602897452
obviously the little bro shitposting right here

>>602898030
pics or it didnt happen

File: 1423524925487.png (20 KB, 626x551) Image search: [Google]

20 KB, 626x551

>be me
>18 year old drunk idiot
>sneak into movie at the theater
>only person in there
>MFW
>run along the rows on top of the seats
>doing all the fun shit one would expect to do inside a lonesome show room.
>have the nastiest liquid/soft fluffy shit combo going
>stomach growling, I can feel it traveling towards my anus.
>about to walk out and use the shitter when-
>lightbulb.jpg
>release the biggest, NASTIEST, most foul smelling shit I've ever released.
>Ass hole burning from the intensity.
>wipe my ass over various metal handles and cloth arm rests
>MFW I walk out and let the concession boy have fun

>>602873896
I adopted a dog for a day last winter.
I bought a dog off of craigslist, but when I took it home it was defective.
It woke me up at 4am barking, so I took it out on a walk in my car.
I let him go and dropped the leash then drove off.

>be 18
>grew up in a low income family with migrant parents who saw wartime etc
>horny
>get a zucchini - spit and insert
>theres a little knobbly piece that is annoying me
>ignore it and keep hammering myself for 20 or so minutes
>nah, this knobbly bit is pissing me off
>pull it out
>go to kitchen, wash the zucchini a bit and circumcise about 2 inches from the end
>use knife to round the edge
>throw wasted zucchini into the freshly emptied bin (just a piece of zucchini sitting in a plastic bag)
>go finish buttplay finish, but walking round with zucchini still in butthole
>mum comes home
>freak the fuck out
>running around cleaning up - moving tissues and clearing browser history etc
>throw clothes on
>i have a massive buttcrack stain on my shirt from sitting on it and sweating
>remember zucchinis still up my ass
>too late now, she's opening the door
>she comes in - we have a conversation
>she asks me if im ok
>im fine, never better
>you sure? you look flustered? have you eaten today?
>no, im fine - i might go outside for a bit
>she idly opens the sink cupboard door
>I look away
>what did you make?
>huh?
>with the zucchini?
>huh?
>my hand automatically goes to my butt
>look at mum
>she's holding the zucchini top with the knobbly bit
>umm- zucchini omelette
>oh yummm. was it good?
>ummm..not really
>ohwell... you shouldn't be so wasteful
>raises it to her lips
>mum NO, don't
>why?
>cos...cos...that's been in the bin, that's foul!
>it's empty. I would have killed for some fresh zucchini when I was a kid
>it's too late. it's in her mouth
>I have zucchini in my ass and my mums chewing my zucchinis foreskin
>'ohhh, i see what you mean. not good. ohwell, waste not want not'
>guilt.jpg

File: 1415936051971.jpg (110 KB, 538x722) Image search: [Google]

110 KB, 538x722

>>602898126

File: chokingonshit.jpg (11 KB, 261x186) Image search: [Google]

11 KB, 261x186

>>602898634

File: knife-in-tire.jpg (108 KB, 437x460) Image search: [Google]

108 KB, 437x460

Slashed tires, Bunch of times as my ENEMY threatened to kill me and was harassing me.
I slashed 4 tires, then came back a month later planning on breaking the back window and front windshield with a 40 pound iron ball. I missed the front window, hit square in the dashboard by the stearing wheel column ... OOppss!!

>>602875503
My bitch cousin once pissed me off so I came in her facewash

>>602899771
edgy newfag

>>602882659
i kinda want to go hobo hunting now

>>602876472
What a badass

i lost my virginity to a nigger(ebony) :(

>>602878777
*flock