>>600621747
People actually go to strip clubs? I thought that was like a movie thing. Gross.

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>>600621747
Went to a strip club, looked at boobies. The end.

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>>600621747
Went to a strip club, looked at boobie. The end

>at TENS in tuscon
>cute brunette comes on stage
>hippie-ish girl with the sublime sun tatted on her back
>im a constructo wearing a t shirt jeans and drinking a budweiser
>gets done dancing and comes to our table
>wants to talk to me b/c she says i look like i smoke weed
>umm sure

later seen some fattie who blew my coworker in the mall with both knees black and blue

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>>600621747
Went to a strip club, looked at boobiez. the end

>in Bangkok
>in ladyboy strip club on soi cowboy
>go for a piss
>ladyboy comes in, looks over my shoulder while I'm pissing
>s/he says "you want to come upstairs? I've got a room".
>here we go.jpeg
>pussy out and say something like "I've got to go" in this weird high pitched voice.
>"Did 360 and walked away.
>Fin

I'll regret giving up that chance forever.

Buddy use to work at gas station by interstate. People with families would ask him wear to get food. He'd tell them the backlot, a strip club with a lo-key entrance

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http://www.2001live.com/

> fucked tons of bargirls in Pattaya
> first time it was with a tiny, big titted, half chubby girl
> couldn't cum as I've never been able to
> third girl on the third night in my hotel room had the tightest fucking pussy ever
> barebacked her and almost blew my load inside, pulled out at last second
> HIV test negative when came back
> awesome

Anyonr have any stories of fucking western strippers? I'm going to the states in April and really want to get with one.

>>600624630
bring cocaine

>>600624848
Won't the bouncers kick you out if you start offering coke to the ladies?

>>600621747
Went to a strip club after snorting a shit load of meth and watched a fat bitch with cottage cheese thighs "dance" and literally almost threw up.

>taking cab to strip club with friends
>cab driver looks like large marge
>she's funny as shit
>she's seen some shit
>tells us how she once convinced a drunk to tip strippers with loose change
>see some young guy we kind of know in club
>he's drunk as hell
>tell him to make it rain
>drunk wut mind
>tell him make it rain means the sound of a bunch of loose change falling everywhere
>bitches love making it rain
>drunk friend reaching into pocket
>oh my god
>he's doing it
>throws a handful of change at stripper
>get to see someone literally thrown out of a bar

Another time I also saw a girl I went to high school with who dated one of my friends for a while. After the excitement of seeing tits wears off it gets sad and awkward real quick when you see them try to hustle some guy into a back room private dance.

>>600624975
go to bigger clubs
get private dance
ask how much she parties

I remember going to a strip club with my friend and I took $300 out of my account and got a $20 lap dance and when it was over I went back over to my friend and ended up getting another dance and when I went to pay I ended up dropping all of my money and a stripper helped me pick it up. After the dance was over I went to count my money and I was missing $200.

>>600625157
One better. Older guy I worked with and I hit a strip club. One girl on stage looked really familiar. He asks if the stripper's mother was named Laura. Stripper freaks out. Guy I was with went to high school with the strippers mom. He gave her $200 and got a VIP room. Told me her tits were just like her mom's.

>>600621747

one of my friends payed one to give him a blowjob. whenever he tells the story he leaves out the stripper part and the paid for the blowjob part. he's a fucking douchebag.

> went to strip club with my brah
> got steaming
> got some tidy slags to give us a private double dance
> mate stood up and ran out halfway through
> I thought he'd realised he was a big fat gay boy
> I stayed and finished the dance with my woman, felt good man
> went to find friend once it had finished
> found him outside pouring a pint of Guinness all over his hand
> turns out he'd thrown up halfway through the dance, covering himself and the stripper
> went outside to finish being sick, saw a pint of Guinness on a table, used it to wash his hands

>>600621923
>People actually go to strip clubs?
>prissy hipster detected.

most of your salt-of-the-earth construction lads go every friday afternoon for a few coldies with the work crew... served by a flirty lady with no top on. cant go wrong really.

... see ya'll there tomorrow night!

>>600625352

dumbass

>>600625110
>Went to a strip club after snorting a shit load of meth

i go to strip clubs to snort a shit load of crack.

free sticker as a bonus.

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>>600621747
First time I touched women boobs was at strip club.

>>600621747
>went out with some friends
>slept with girl
cos I don't go to strip clubs I just date people...why the fuck would I go to a strip club?

>Last night
>One of our last stops on an all-night bender
>Coworker and friend take me out to a strip club for the fist time
>We get a table, drinks, etc.
>One steps out to take a call, the other to piss
>I'm left awkwardly, drunk at a table by myself
>Stripper walks over, asks if she can join me
>-Shit, is this what's supposed to happen?
>I agree, and she strikes up a conversation
>After a bit, the server comes around, and very stone-seriously asks "Are you going to buy her a drink?"
>-Shit, is this what's supposed to happen?
>I say sure, fuck it
>She gets a double shot of something
>Shit cost $40

>Over time, the conversation turns from a conversation to a lecture, I can't get a word in edgewise as she goes on and on about some contest, and how she doesn't keep in touch with her dad anymore, and how she doesn't have any baggage (lol)
>I ain't come here for this shit, I came to see some titties
>At about ten minutes (and 2 more fucking drinks for the stripper), I look over, and my friends are at a stage, asscheeks clapping in their face, having a ball
>One waves me over
>I keep trying to excuse myself from the conversation, but she's on a tirade, and I can't interrupt her
>Finally one of my friends gets a call from his wife, and he and his friend start to argue
>I tell her I have to go check on them, and finally break the seal
>Turns out the friend with the car needs to leave, so we have to come along

So, tl;dr I paid a stripper $120 to give her a therapy session. I was trying to be nice, I imagine they deal with shitty clientele regularly. I immensely regret it, as a lost opportunity

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>>600624118
>Did 360 and walked away
>360

>>600626344
>why the fuck would I go to a strip club?

because you are married or attached and arent allowed to actually sleep with random women. and some random women have a problem with you asking them to dance naked infront of you while you have a perv. so we cut to the chase and go drop a tenner to have a beer with mates and look at titties.

>>600626355
Dude, asshole friends, if i knew you were alone i would've finished whatever the fuck i was up to and got back to you
shits cold

>>600626651
Ever think they saw him with the chick and didn't want to interrupt?

>go to stripclub with thin shorts
>get a 20 dollar dance from this sorta ugly chick but with huge tits
>starts jacking me off but song/dance ends
>decide to get another one from another chick
>grinds on my fully erect dick for a while
>fucking cum on my shorts
>push her off
>pay her the 40 bucks
>asks "what about my tip?"
>uhh
>"ima go to the atm wait for me"
>get the fuck out of there as quick as possible

>>600625244
Cool. Will try. What's the rate for bj/fuck?

>go to strip club with brother
>I pay the entrance fee which is $50
>all of my money just to get in
>brother goes off and gets a dance
>leaves me by myself
>strippers keep coming up to me wanting to give me a dance
>act like a dumbass and say "I have no money"
>watch nekid womenz on stage for 15 minutes
>brother comes back happy as fuck
>I start taking pics of nekid dancers
Even now I fap to those pics

>>600626651
I brought it up; he said "I was waving you over! Three times!" And I told him, "Why didn't you actually come get me? I couldn't break that conversation myself!"

I guess even the bartenders were telling them to come do something about me, as I stupidly bought drinks for this chick with no clear intent

>>600626812
this is where the old art of negotiation comes in my friend. most of the time if its gonna happen they are gonna try and get you to buy a dance.
then it might be another followed by a straight up offer

>be me
>go to club with a couple of friends
>sit next to one of the stages
>start crinkling up bills and launching them at the stripper while she dances
>one hits her in the face
>get kicked out
>Say sorry and ask to be let back in
>get back in
>start crinkling up more money and throwing them
>get banned for life

>>600626384

you must be new here

>>600627351
You must hate your life and your parents must regret not aborting you.

>>600627165
Will it be happening in the private dance area or do I have to meet up with her afterwards and go to some motelroom? I'd love to get a dance and then titjob/bj afterwards.

>>600627405

yeah, so?

>>600627165
By the time you tally all that up you should have just gone down the road to the knocker.

>>600627323

I've got a friend who turns into a complete asshole when he's drunk, but hey, who doesn't? Anyways, were at the strip club and he's cool for a minute, but after a few shots he starts calling all the girls sluts. I then have to get between him and two giant fucking bouncers so he doesn't get his ass kicked, and we all end up getting kicked out. Sometimes it sucks being the most sober person in party/strip club fight situations.

>>600627413
in the private booth or whatever the fuck they have.
this sparky told us about a club across town that was know for action. So much so when a gilr said she got harassed the case was dismissed because of all the different seamen samples in the room

>>600627534
wtf is the knocker

>>600624630
how common to fuck bare there? Is it easy? It's a pain in the ass in the states but I've done it.

in Slovenia
at strip club
paid for private dance for 4 guys
mate stuck his finger up her bum
nuff said

>>600626602
I'm not a sad loser though...So this isn't a problem for me.

Enjoy your "wonderful" marriage.

By the way, how does it feel knowing you pay women more to show their tits than to work a real job? Way to go guys. Now women think their shit is so important that people will pay to see it.

>>600627405

watch out for that edge

>>600627940
If you're young and clean (shower at least five times a day over there, and once before sex) most girls wont even mention a condom (I fucked 10 grills, only one asked for condom). I had to remember to do it myself, and that one time I didn't use it I totally forgot. You should use one though...

at gentleman's night
stripper took this guys glasses off
stuck one of the arms up her bum
put glasses back on my mate

>>600628289
i heard theyll go to hiv clinic with you

>>600626355
This is just pathetic.

The point this should have ended is when you said "no" to the question are you going to buy the lady something to drink.

You're not obligated to do shit, and if they expect you to then they have the right to ask you to leave, what else are they gonna do about it?

Fuck that, you're an idiot.

>>600628379
Top kek

>>600624630
pro tip: it's almost impossible for a man to catch HIV from a woman.

>>600626758
If she wanted the tip she could have just gone for it, its not your responsibility to do all the work.

>>600628196

I always thought strip clubs and people that frequent them were sad and pathetic. You're paying to see tits. That's no better than the fags who white knight on chaturbate and throw down $50 worth of tokens for a 5 second pussy flash.

And, yes, I kind of agree with the "women think their shit is so important" aspect of it. Try telling a girl she would look better without metal in her face or tats on her tits and see how long that conversation lasts.

>>600626355
You got hustled.

>tactics strip clubs use to make money
Cover or "mandatory drinks" charge
Sending the fat/ugly girls to you asap (they have to actively try to make money for the club, unlike the hot ones, and that works best before you can immerse yourself in your surroundings)
Getting a girl to talk to you until you give her money in some way or leave (strippers will do damn near anything for money before they'll actually strip)
Cutting songs short or using abridged songs to shorten lap dances, a two minute version of Stairway to Heaven exists
Offering consecutive lap dances because "they really like you" (they like the money you spend on more lap dances)
Planting an undercover-type friendly guy in the crowd who suggests you should tip the stage dancer because she's "working so hard" etc.

And a shit ton more.

>>600628432
They will, if you buy her out from the club for several days from mama-san. One night hook-ups: no.

>>600628455
Yeah, I know. Was scared shitless until I got home and looked it up. Like a 0.006 percent chance of catching it from a woman.

>>600628433
I am now aware of these facts, yes.
However, I'm very polite, I was drunk, and the only people who could've told me that shit isn't expected were nowhere to be found
It was a perfect storm

>>600626384
He obviously moonwalked away

>>600628455
You fucking redneck, moron Americunt. This is a lie

>>600628455
pro tip: stop making up nonsense and trying to convince yourself its true.

>>600628863
>>600628883
Look it up turdnuggets.

Chicka feels my pistol says I'm el Guapo. I tell her it's just my cell phone. She gives me a free lap dance. I cum in my pants then leave, go home and bang my gf...

>>600626355

You have to be able to say "no" if you go to a strip club. Otherwise they'll take you for everything you've got.

>>600628571
Yeah I don't get it, why the hell would anyone be so desperate to just look at naked flesh? I mean, if I had to pay for porn I wouldn't bother, so why would you pay just for a girl to take her clothes off?
I get that there will be people who claim that its better atmosphere than your typical bar, but those people are just fucking sad.

>>600628939
You stupid cunt

>In Cyprus
>already pretty drunk decide to go to strip club down the street
>20 Euros entry 2 free drinks and a free lap dance
>Down my free drinks, stripper comes over takes me into a room
>think, fuck yeah about to get my free lapdance
>pulls my dick out starts stroking it "lapdance" ends
>whispers in my ear "50 euros to finish"
>got handjob
>left

>>600628863
>>600628883

wow, are you really this stupid? do some basic research.

how, exactly, do you think a woman is going to give you aids? are you going to absorb live viruses through your pores? are they going to swim up your fucking urethra like sperm?

look at the stats, or just use common sense. a penis is basically a meat syringe. you are injecting fluids into her body.

i bet you're one of those people who puts toilet paper on public toilet seats, "because AIDS!!!"

>go to strip club with friends
>always bring my friend Shawn
>pay for Shawn's way in
>give Shawn money for girls
>we all wait and watch Shawn as he is a total asshole to each and every stripper that comes up to him
>"hey sweetheart, want a dance?"
>he just makes a disgusted "ugh" sound
>looks back at us and laughs
>we all laugh
>Shawn gets up and goes to the stage side seats
>he sits down and pulls put the money we gave him
>stripper comes on stage and shoves tits in his face! rides on him and really works for it
>he puts a few dollars on stage and when she's not looking grabs a few back

>>600628863
No its not. You are no nothing know it all.

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>>600621747
I'm a very cynical person, and when i get drunk i don't smile and act like a fucking goof.

But on my birthday everyone was driving liquor into me, and trying to get me to be "that guy" and I just can't, I'm not huge on the going fucking 12 years old in a fucking bar.

But we were at the only strip club we have in the city, and to be fair they have some good strippers some times, but most of the time all you see is caesarian scars and it reeks of mother father disapproval.

My friends decide its time to go throw loonies at the strippers (its what we do here, and maybe all across canada), but again my face is completely straight despite me having a great time.

The stripper comes over to me as she's picking up her change with some teddy bear on a string with a magnet and bent down and said.

"Cheer up"

>MFW

>>600629036
Maybe to have a good time with your friends?

>>600621747
>be bartender
>restaurant i'm working at is awesome
>everything going fine for about five years
>new girl takes over
>feminazi takeover
>bans some of my regulars for being loud and having a good time
>these people RUN the neighborhood, this bitch doesn't even know
>restaurant DIES with her in charge
>bail hard and fast once I see it
>need a job, fast, too, my lab job at the university doesn't pay dick and i like to do blow when i'm not doing research, it's a weird lifestyle... but i need money
>get on local job hunt
>find a job, no name, just and address, needs an experienced bartender that is used to being around hot women and can handle rowdy guys, seems like my shit
>show up, strip club, no fucking way
>go in
>bouncer looks at me and runs me down the club rules, i'm like, "i'm here for a job..."
>oh, head out back
>okay, go out the back door
>few thug dudes waiting
>stripper on the outdoor pole
>hang out for a bit and talk to people, only two of the three guys are there for a job, one is just chilling and watching the stripper... i don't tip her, but i do watch
>interview, pretty standard, tell them where i worked, they know me, get hired on the spot
>you start tomorrow night, show up a little early for the paper work, we'll get you started just backing for a night, but you'll get paid, just watch the bartender do his thing and you'll go live the next night

>>600629117
Jesus Christ you're ignorant. Go spaghetti yourself

>>600621747
> went there
> drunk as fuck
> didn't even enjoy it

went home to my gf

>>600629153
Die in a fire you idiot

>>600629039
I just looked it up. There's a 0.38% chance you contract HIV from a woman as a man. Fuck you, you ignorant cunt.

>>600628793
None of those things justify your actions.
It came down to you being insecure. That's it. Politeness would be buying A modest drink, not anything she wants, but something. When do you go to any other place of business and just buy things for the staff? That's rubbish.

Damn, you've pissed me off now.

>>600629187
is there a part 2 or is this just the worst fucking story in history?

>>600627008
>I pay the entrance fee which is $50

Holy shit.

>>I start taking pics of nekid dancers

Most places will throw you out for that.

>>600629272
Dr. Here, you sir are dangerously ignorant.

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>>600621747
One asked a stripper mid lap dance if she listened to Death Grips.
Was at Hollywood Showgirls in Gold Coast, Australia.

mfw

>>600629410
Statistically he isn't. Also you are a shit tier doctor if you aren't aware of the odds of a a heterosexual non iv drug using male contracting hiv.

>>600629410
oh really, you're a doctor? then explain to us how, exactly, by what mechanism, a male would contract HIV from a female, aside from her plunging a syringe of her blood into his ass?

>>600629410
Hi Dr. Cuntnugget. How can you expect to treat and give advice to anyone with that giant fucking cock you've got up your ass from being proved wrong?

>>600628939
>>600629117

I hate to break it to you but homosex isn't as popular as you'd think, and it takes two to spread that shit.
Also, how else do you think you get other infections from women? Through magic?
Do you think that hole at the end of your dick has a seal on it until you blow, and that it closes as soon as you finish?
But hey, think what you like, there's a reason tourists hit up third world countries and leave with diseases, and it's not cos they've been sharing syringes.

>>600626384
Newfag detected

>go to strip club in Dallas
>get bottle service with a hot Latina for $300
>we start making out
>exchange oral sex
>finishes me with a blow job (wasn't sure if I'd get sex)
>fun night

>>600628173

I once had a dance ask me to stick a finger up her ass - after I had paid her and was walking away. She had just finished telling me about how much she loved anal.

She used to give me lots of free dances.

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>getting lapdance from this qt dominican chick
>cute face
>dat ass
>huge fake tits
>bonerachieved.exe
>grinding really hard
>dick hard agaisnt her firm ass
>turns around and asks me if "that" is me
>i nod yes
>she reaches back and grabs the head feeling all the way down to my balls
>talk for a while after dance is over
>gives me her number
>never call her cause i was on vacation in that area
>mfw

>>600628455
yeah in a normal situation
fucking tens of prostitutes bareback, catching herpes, syphilis, even the fucking common cold while at it and those HIV probabilities add up quickly.

On a NYE when I had just turned 18 a week prior, my best mate took me to a strip club at 4am after a night of partying in brisbane.

We sat in the VIP section, saying we would tip the next dancer, for about 30 minutes talking to a sad 40 year old man that was a regular.

Saw some nice tits, almost fell in love with a stripper, all in all payed $10 for a pretty awesome time.

>>600629301
i'm not going to ask if you want me to continue, i'll just continue until someone tells me to stop

>>600629187
>show up day 1, dress up a little, i'm a fuckin' nerd (BS chem/math) but i'm good looking
>try to rock a skinny rocker bartender look, look like a moron but no time to fix it
>go in there
>bar is absolutely empty
>like, two strippers sitting at one end with cocktails, a dj moving some vinyl around, and a girl on stage... practicing?
>girl on stage eyes me as i walk in, ignore her, walk to the bar and go directly behind it
>girls at the bar start yelling at me that i can't be back there, look back and just smile at them
>they're confused
>dj walks over and he's like, "yo man, who are you?"
>"i'm anon"
>"oh word dawg (seriously how he talks), welcome to AnonXXX, anonbarguy is in the back, he'll set you up"
>go to the back, pass a room on the way, no door, just girls, four hot (not gorgeous, it's the middle of the day) naked chicks putting on make up and laughing
>go to the back, bartender is there, he tells me the plan, and that's how my first night goes, they let me off after about five hours with a, "you get it? good. you're on tomorrow, no backup."
>sit at the bar to have a beer and watch the crowd
>dancer walks over, "hiiii, i'm sandy (or whatever the fuck you want to call her)"
>gives me a hug, welcomes me to the team, this place is super friendly
>she tells me she's off, wants to talk, offers to buy me another beer and to kick it here for a drink
>sure, i'm here
>have a drink, she's flirty but in that stripper way
>and that's it, and i go home

there's more, they kinda easy you into it

>>600629642
wait, you seriously think AIDS viruses swim up your peehole like tadpoles or something, don't you? are you 8?

>>600621747

>Be at pub in down under.
>Strippers there, one alright looking, the other.. eh
>Play pool, hot one comes up and chats, ask her to buy us a round seeing as how the que is shit
>Give her exact money, she goes around the bar, gets the drinks come back
>Talk for a bit, slap her ass and she is onto the next customers
>Eh one comes up and asks if i would like a private lap dance for $50.00.
>At this point i am pretty drunk... without any hesitation i turn around and say your not worth it.
>Bitch evil eyed me the rest of the night.

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>>600629642
I know you CAN contract it from a woman asshole. It's just that the chance of it happening is next to nothing. Do some fucking research.

>>600628571
>You're paying to see tits
>>600629036
>why the hell would anyone be so desperate to just look at naked flesh?

You pay for the lap dance, which is pretty erotic, if done right. They get naked whether you pay them or not.

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Two average strippers at my local want to fuck me.. nah. One hot one fell in love with me, unfortunately I had a good GF then so no deal.

In Berlin I blew a fair load of cash on the two hottest chicks in the club, got them drunk, and during the lap dances they were letting me suck their tits and finger-bang them. One offered to fuck for 200 euros, I didn't bite.

>>600629278

Sometimes I'll buy the bartender a shot or two.

jewish dude went with us, ended up throwing money everywhere like a jew would

>>600630098
That actually doesn't sound very jew like. Dipshit

>>600629839
moar then

>>600621747
went to a wake and then to a drive through car wash

>>600629839

continue

>>600627405
Aww, babby can't handle the pwessuwe being called out new?

>>600629143
That doesnt sound like the end of Your story, cont. Please

>>600629839
>show up the next night for my go-live shift (this is the real interview, there aren't usually second chances at cool places)
>i'm a bartender, it's not a big deal, do my job, talk to the peeps at the bar, keep the girls drunk (but not too fucking drunk, get the customers drunk but if our girls get too fucked up to dance it's your ass, says the boss)
>have a good night, make good money, feel good
>close the bar down, clean up
>girls and boss are all sitting at the rail
>congratulations all around, apparently i'm better than the last guy they hired
>girls respect me, boss is happy i'm working there
>girls invite me out, "you're one of us now"
>okay...
>go out with them
>hit another strip club where they know everyone
>meet the bartenders and dj, make some friends, get shown around a bit, new circle is opening up
>sandy is on my arm all night, she's like my personal hostess showing me all around this scene
>i'm okay with that, she's pretty hot
>we move on to the next bar, and the next one, and the next one
>i'm a seasoned drinker, but this is pretty ridiculous
>then one of the girls has a miraculous idea
>let's all do some blow
>they call a van cab, and apparently it's a driver they know, so we spend the whole cab drive doing bumps before we get downtown
>in the heart of the city, club district
>i've heard of these places, but i don't really do clubs... it's the same people you serve, they're all useless fucks
>walk past the bouncers everywhere we go
>they're buying rounds, i haven't spent a dime yet
>i try to buy around for posterity and immediately get shut down, "you earn your money, we take ours, don't worry"
>we get rounds for free a lot
>i get a lot of bad looks from guys
>i'm getting to know the girls, i kinda like most of them, they're all pretty vapid but a couple have college degrees if you count comm and social science
>we keep taking shots, keep taking shots, doing blow in the bathroom
BLACKOUT
>wake up, ow my head

>>600629174
I don't really need or want to see my friends aroused. This isn't a good time.
Also, congrats, you just paid a shit tonne of money to see tits. You just got ripped off.

>>600621747
yall never gonna believe me but anyway
>university student,halfway through,bad luck and chicken out with any potential crushes
>as a result,no boobies touched.naked anyways
>coldest night i ve ever lived in my country (-6 C) winter,january.After playing PES with a buddy he is all lets go to the stripclub
>never done that!-Way better he laughs
>We go
>Sit in prime spot across the centre stage - around 30 other clients (one of em my professor)
>Girls come and go,im in trance but i keep thinking "all that shit is fake"
>Buddy isnt helping cracking some "imagine she hasnt wiped" jokes after a thong wearing lady comes and sits in my lap all fake flirty
>im nope nopity nope in any advance for dance,drink or otherwise
>then she enters the stage
>a beautiful dark haired girl about my age comes and well she dances pretty well
>sees the dumbfounded look on my face and not even looking back or around comes straight at me.
>Cant even spell.
>Sits on my lap barely even asks if i want a dance and starts rubbing herself on me dryhumping me,undressing and putting my face in her boobs whispering in my ear "lick'em"
>"oh boy here i go"
>median dance time:around 4 mins
>she spends around 2 songs on me so probably more
>Im so red and in awe that when she gets up and leave I dive under the table to get her one shoe she dropped and help her gather her bra some garter belt of some sort and shorts?
>She looks at me very lovingly smirks and kisses me in the cheek
>Buddy hysterical
...continues

>>600630569
Sounds fucking cash. Continue.

>>600629511
Because epidemiology is a great way to assess disease risk in a highly taboo topic.
Yep. Lets rely on people to give realistic facts. Never fails.

>>600630569
fuckin a

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>Bouncer in a strip club
>Pay is shit but I get cheap drugs
>Realize most dancers fuck for drugs and at least half are "escorts"
>Start asking strippers if they want to "party"
>Lived in the attached hotel, super easy to get them to come back to my room
>Worked there for over a year, fucked about 20 strippers
>The sex was all over the place, everyone was fucking weird compared to normal chicks
>Fucked up fetishes, had a chick who liked piss in her mouth and nose and pussy and ass
>Diapers, shit, daddy/daughter, crying fetishes
>A few were normal but they still has issues
>One came up every month and we would "have sex" all week, she would suck my dick, handjobs, foot jobs, I would eat her pussy and her ass but she would not let my put my dick in her pussy or her ass because it was cheating on her husband.
>Last stripper I fucked like to be hammered in the ass while holding her head underwater

Then again I looked like a marilyn manson wannabe, tall, skinny, long hair, tons of tattoos, people said I looked like a smack addict. So I always managed to get the really fucked up ones, we tend to attract each other. Couple of other bouncers had normal sex with strippers

>>600629278
Oh, sooo sowwy I made you mad

Let me reiterate I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A STRIP CLUB BEFORE

I don't know standard protocol; I never thought that was a situation in which I'd find myself. I didn't fucking study up for a trip to the strip club, nor did I have a chance; we kind of just went on a whim. I honestly never imagined myself going to a strip club.

>>600629011
at least this guy gave me something constructive to remember for future use

>>600630569
>struggling with the light coming in the window
>struggling with the pain in my head
>feeling like a bitch because i haven't been this hungover in a long fucking time
>feeling a little confused because this is NOT my room
>eyes fully open, mild panic mode wherethefuck
>roll over a little too fast
>elbow a ball of hair
>it parts, there a girl in there
>i don't know her
>"hi"
>"hey"
>she says, "um, don't hate me, what's your name?"
>"oh, thank god, you too.... you're hot, who are you?"
>i'm friends with sandy
>ok cool, when did you show up last night?
>i don't know, but you were pretty hammered when i got there but i think i caught up way too quick, i always get too fucked up when i do coke
>are you a stripper?
>yeah
>do you work at AnonXXX?
>noooo, i used to but i got fired after i tried to beat the shit out of one of the girls because she kept trying to steal my regulars
>(whaaaaaaaaat....)
>oh, that sucks
>nah, i got a new place, it's way better
>so now what?
>i dunno, i'll give you my number, we can hang out sometime?
>sure, i'd be down, wanna go again?
>she giggles and rolls onto me

ff through six months of dating this girl

>breaking up with girlfriend

>>600629956

I'll just get a lap dance from your mom for free

>>600629854
No, I seriously think that the thin, flexible tissue inside your dick is not 8 inches up inside you, and that permeability is a real thing.
I swear, if you think the penis is just a big solid structure then you're a fucking chump.

>>600630947
>>Last stripper I fucked like to be hammered in the ass while holding her head underwater
HA!

>>600630569

continue the joke

>>600629938
Its next to nothing across the board...that doesn't mean you can go around fucking anyone and be likely not to get it.

>>600630929
you're actually making our argument for us. the vast majority of "heterosexual" men who are HIV positive admit, under further questioning, to also having sex with men, but identify as hetero. (Which is why we call them MSM, as they aren't self-identified homosexuals, even if they engage in homosex.)

Most of the rest of them got it in prison (where shitty jailhouse tattoo needles give more dudes AIDS than rape does) or are IV drug users.

Very very very few men get AIDS from women.

>>600621747
Once upon a time, I was not an underage faggot like yourself. I paid money and had a half naked chick rub her ass on my dick.

3/10 would not pay for again.

>>600629956
Okay so you pay to have a girl grind on you and press her tits in your face.
I still don't see the appeal. End of the day, you're going home to jerk off.

>>600629938
Mostly true, but you do get vaginal fluid in your urethra, especially if you are circumsized, just not very much so it all depends on one thing

Viral Load, a high viral load means that very small amounts of fluid can actually infect you but the chances are still much lower than if you leave behind cum inside someone.

>>600621747
dude I wanna work at a strip....whatever someday. Is that bad?

>>600629974
You realise that sucking tits and finger banging are things that are supposed to get girls off, right? You essentially spent a shit tonne of money to get someone else off and have nothing for yourself.

You should feel accomplished...

>>600630277
>Shawn is notorious for telling black strippers that they aren't his type
>my friends and I all play a game where we all go to the stage and take a seat
>we stay there as long as possible spending the least as possible
>then we all leave as soon as any black chick tries to get on stage
>so the stage goes from full to empty as soon as she steps on, it's hilarious to watch them lose composure

>>600624118

u fag

>>600621747
>went to club with friends
>one was gay
>not into the whole "look but dont touch" thing
>not into what I cant fuck when they give that look/touch like they want too
>gay friend mentions that they have an awesome buffet bar
>go check it out cause Im tired of useless hard cock
>buffet is fucking good
>left that night with a happy belly and a sad penis
>feels.jpg

>>600631666

you devilish motherfucker.

>>600628540
I didn't tip man... I just left haha

>>600631666
Kek'd

>>600631109
>stripper girl has a coke problem
>i'm trying to clean myself up
>the last six months has been a blur of working, making money like crazy, doing blow, drinking
>i quit my job doing research to pull overtime under the table, my brain feels like mush from doing the same shit every night
>looking for new stimuli, start taking better care of myself, getting back into my working regimen
>stripper girl is having none of it
>she's actually borderline psychotic
>her and the other girls all hang out every night, drink, do blow, sometimes they do meth, she thinks i can't tell the difference but when you come home and we hang out and you're in the living room for three hours and you're still fucking high, it ain't coke
>work has been interesting lately, getting a lot of attention from some of the newer girls and i'm just playing it cool, like usual, not interested, not disinterested, availably unavailable
>figure i can probably do better than this chick, so i break it off
>she throws a fit, i do it right before i go to work so she can cool off for a while
>i didn't know how deep the crazy ran

>middle of my shit, 3 hours deep of six total for the night
>high volume night, i'm pouring shots faster than i can think, i'm pouring cocktails with one hand while stirring Manhattans with the other, who the fuck drinks Manhattans anyway, faggots
>looking out over the sea of dudes, i see a face by the front door arguing with the bouncer
>it's pointing at me
>it's gesturing at me
>the bouncer doesn't look happy
>the bouncer isn't letting the face in and it's getting physical, i'm not wearing my radio because it was making me sweat so i just ignore it
>face disappears
>get off work late, took an hour and a half to clean up, fucking ridiculous shift, feeling pretty good as the girls and i spill out into the street, i usually walk them to their cars if the bouncers leave early, tonight is one of those nights and i don't mind because those dudes deal with some shit

>>600631120

Strippers are way hotter.

>>600631780

wait, so you went to a gay strip club and they wouldn't let you give 'em a handy? you need to start going to bath houses.

>>600631190
lol "permeability." so when you're thirsty, do you pour water on your hand?

explain to me, exactly, how you think the tissue of the urethra ... I guess, soaks up (?) HIV like a sponge or something? let's assume HIV-infected vaginal fluid gets up in there, what happens next? are you assuming that the dude just pissed out ground-up glass and his shit is all bloody and scraped up?

>>600621747

>be Ausfag
>weekend trip to Brisbane
>smashing beers and tequila shots since 9am
>go to shitty bar and have more beers
>don't even know how I'm still standing
>"hey let's go to the strippers!"
>get in for free because some chick was with us or something
>worst strippers ever
>fat, old, stretchmarks, terrible implants
>why.jpg
>decide to play free pool terribly for the next half an hour
>spilling drinks on table, ripping holes in the felt
>friend whips out his donger behind the pool table and takes a slash under it
>leave quickly
>go to some other shitty bar/club thing in The Valley and steal pot plants, bar mats and a bar stool for my mates bar at his house

>>600631014
Okay, heres something constructive for future use:
Don't be such a fucking bitch.

>>600631924

Your mom is a stripper, so she's doubly hot.

>>600631923
Mmmm, I can smell where this is going.

>she waitin'.

>>600631923

continue

>>600631438
Just as very very few women get HIV from men. It's still high risk.

>>600631923
Loving this!

>>600631498

Yeah, most of the time. Some times you can hook up with the girls. Last time I went the stripper told me to wait for a minute after we were done. She left and came back with a piece of paper with her number on it.

She swore she didn't use drugs, didn't smoke, didn't drink, and was disease free. Naturally, I believed her. Then she said no sex on the first date. I never called her. She lived too far away, anyway.

>>600630858
>some girls pass by,buddy gets a lap dance and buys a drink to one cool girl, im not interested at any one
>dont know how it works,so i kinda raise my hand as a student to the floor manager/whatever and ask for her to come at me
>she comes like a gazelle in heat
>she literally storms on me in the couch my friend sitting some 2 meters away laughing
>She starts lap dancing,dry humping getting busy anyway
>It feels great
>2 song pass she keeps on going
>intensifies
>she starts rubbing her body against me,touching my penis,and kissing me at the same time
>I feel awkward - my buddy spilled his drink when he saw her kiss me
>she keeps on kissing me,now we kiss as she has her hands under my tshirt trying to reach my dick,I try to stop her tongue from invading in my mouth ,i am all like "gross how many have you kissed"
>6 songs have passed by,we are in I dunno how to call it,wasnt dance towards the end
>floor manager comes by,i see him with the corner of my eye as well as my buddy staring me like an alien
>she is way to damn busy/horny/whatever to see him
>he taps on her shoulder and pulls her arm
>she says sth i didnt understand and stoods up and start gathering her things
>I give her the chip (u had to buy chips from the bar to spend) for the normal dance,she flirtilly laughs and writes down a phone number on the back of a receipt lying by,she kisses me once more and leaves straight to the manager's room (was side to the bar with a one way mirror he was there most of the time)
>buddy is trembling and vows he's never seen sth like this again (is a frequent client to stripbars not that one but in general)
>I am like "yeah right..."
>"they do it to every client for the money"
>he says no!!!
>i say "dont mess with me anymore man"
>rip the receipt with the phone number apart"
>he punches me in the shoulder i punch him back
>we finish our drinks and leave in the cold night
>....
>I 've gone another 10 times in stripbars never for sth like this to happen again

>>600626384
Dingus

>>600626355

Can't even stand up for your self in front of women.... pussy

>took best buddy to strip club for on his 19th birthday
>very new to it all
>"excuse me, ma'am"
>all dat shit
>two strippers came to us both
>£20 each for a dance
>scummy student with next to no money
>can only treat my friend to a dance
>give one stripper £20 and send her off with my buddy
>stand by the bar and wait for him
>turns out some strippers are cunts
>soon surrounded by strippers and a doorman
>"why are you here and no getting a dance?"
>"just getting my friend one, I can't afford one for myself"
>"there's a cash machine (ATM) over there, check your account"
>"erm no, still just waiting for my friend"
>thinking 'fuck dis shit' so start to walk out
>best buddy comes out from his dance
>we leave, he seems different
>forget about what twats they were inside and ask him how it was
>he replies "fucking horrible"
>"u fukin wot m8?"
>"all I could think about was the fact that she is someone's daughter"
>i wasted what little money i had on my buddy to get all emotional about fuckin strippers
>whereas all i learned was that a lot of them are twats

>>600631889
You missed the joke.

>>600631577

You're far more likely to catch something if you are not circumcised.

>>600631923
>hear a yell, turn around
>stripper girl is charging me and she looks pissed
>tries to hit me
>yelling match ensues
>it was her that showed up, i tell her she's crazy
>i tell her she needs to leave and i'll pick up whatever stuff i left at her place (nothing i can't live without) after she calms down a bit
>she looks like she might try to stab me, she leaves
>one of the girls gets out of her car, comes over
>are you okay?
>whatever, that shit is crazy
>yeah, you wanna get a drink?
>everything's closed, it's 4:30 am...
>i mean, at my place...
>oh
>...
>yeah, let's do that
>go to her place, have a drink, try to be platonic because i keep thinking that the girl might be at my house waiting in my shower to cut my dick off when i go to take a piss
>try to leave after the drink
>she literally jumps in front of me
>she's probably not going to let me leave
>tells me not to talk
>walks me to her bedroom
>she strips naked, pushes me onto her bed
>doesn't that crawl thing where they wiggle their hips as they crawl towards you
>ends at my lap
>not the best blowjob i've ever gotten, but she made the effort and i appreciate that
>end up fucking her that night and again in the morning
>tells me not to say a word about this at work because it's really not allowed

go to sleep

>wake up
>text from ex, "you fucked cindy (or whatever the fuck you wanna call her), didn't you?"

So what goes on in a private room? Got asked to one but turned it down.

>>600631945
You're either trolling or a fucking idiot.
I've given you enough of my attention. Goodbye.

>>600632353
well now you're just talking absolute shit.

>>600632148
You sound like classy fellows. Can't understand why life hasn't worked out for you.

>>600632547
What city?

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>>600621747
Ausfag here
>have bbq at friends house, drink far too many beers. We all go clubbing afterwards. Vodka redbull time. Eventually get kicked out for being too drunk, can't walk straight and have no idea what's going on. 3am, only place still letting people in are the strip clubs, go to one. So wasted end up shouting everyone lap dances. Next morning wake up, check bank account -900.
>mfw

>>600632684
shit, you just realized that you have no fucking idea what you're talking about, didn't you?

now just imagine how much other shit you "know" that you actually have no fucking idea about. all those looks of disgust and contempt your friends and family give you make so much sense now, don't they?

>>600629078
hahahaah great story

>>600632393
Yeah, looks like I'm really missing out...

>>600632780
But life has worked out for me.

>>600632822
Was Australia day btw, haven't been to a strip club since

>>600632822
I call bullshit.
>Ausfag
>get kicked out for being too drunk

Nice try, Nigel.

>>600632220

Only people that I've seen tell "mom" jokes are niggers and 12 year olds.

>>600632547
Your life story is very boring.

>>600632997
Lol

>>600632547

continue

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>Best friend's birthday lets name him Bacon
>Hang up with random friends and him to a bar
>Between those friends there was my ex-girlfriend and her best friend. Lets name her BigHumps (exgf 9/10, her friend 8/10)
>Two hours after drinking we were pretty drunk
>"Hey, what about a strip club? could be fun"
>Everyone says thats ok
>Into the stripclub, we start drinking again
>Now we are totally wasted
>BigHumps says something like "i'd like to dance Rainbow Eyes" (If you dont know the song, search it before keep reading)
>Ex gf said "Ya, that would be totally fun"
>Im wasted at the point that im fainting in the strip couch
>Out of the fucking blue the presentator went like this "And we have this random amateur girls, lets clap ExGF and BigHumps!!!!"
>whatthefuck.jpg
>Jump into the bar
>Both exgf and BigHumps are poledancing totally naked showing anus and vagina. Disgusting but different to other shows
>wtfimhorny.jpg
>Pulled out my celphone
>I get kicked out.

Was fun, but I missed the last part. Bacin said that my exgf planed that for me, and she fell down the stairs trying to walk with her panties between her legs.

Pic unrelated,

>>600632909

sheeit, i'd love to know what "life working out" looks like to a stupid fucking cunt like you.

>>600632969
Not bullshit, you ever been to Birdees in Brisbane? Been kicked out 3 times for being too drunk

>>600632972
Pretty much

>>600632822
I been there buddy. Did the same thing in Houston.

>>600632528
That's only because the tissue tears more easily.

>>600632888

Well, it's a better time than dicking around on 4chan all night.

I honestly couldn't care less if you go or don't. But then, why are you in this thread?

>>600633108
At least it's a decent story to tell these days, once my bank account recovered it was funny

>>600632547
>"fuck off, cool off, we'll talk in a few days, okay?"
>"i'm at your place, open the door."
>"no, go home and chill, seriously, it's 8 am, you realize this is insane, right?"
>"i want to talk"
>"no."
>"i want to fuck"
>"no."
>"i'll let you do that thing where you fuck me in the ass and choke me..." (this is HER thing btw... i like pussy... she likes to feel degraded and apparently anal and choking are degrading...)
>"no. go home."
>text, not answering
>cindy wakes up
>looks at me, smiles, blushes a little and grabs my hand and puts it between her legs, she's soaked
>fuck again
>she's gorgeous in the morning, no makeup perfect skin cute as fuck with that sorta precious girl next door look and attitude
>have to leave and get ready for work
>we're gonna meet up after work again tonight
>walk out to my car
>tires are slashed
>you have got to be fucking kidding me
>this bitch is gonna pay for this shit
>go to her house, figure if i do this right she can't get me arrested
>

>>600632997
the story i'm trying to tell is that strip clubs are not magical special places where cool things happen. you pay chicks to get their tits out. then they go home and fuck their boyfriends or go apeshit and slash their ex's tires. they're all run of the mill crazy bitches in the end.

>walk to girl's house, about a mile away
>front door is usually unlocked
>go in, quietly, she's not downstairs, hear something upstairs, figure it's her
>gonna sneak up on her and do... something, idk yet
>go upstairs
>open bedroom door

>>600632707
You've looked at the numbers, yes? Do you know how to actually interpret them? Probably not.

>>600632439
Number one reason that proves she was actually into you, they NEVER give pussy away for free unless they like you, numbers sometimes if they think you will be a big spender. So yeah, you blew it. Your buddy was just Jelly

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>>600633067
Cool your jets, turbo. You're sounding a little mad there, buddy!

>>600632972

I'm black as night. Must be why your mom can't stop calling me.

>>600633065
>>600633065

And with "showing her anus" im trying to say that both were doing the goatse dance lol

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>>600621747
>2015
>goes to strip clubs

mfw you have a weak mentality have have the need for more confidence, and chooses to obtain it from semi-naked whores grinding on poles and dancing to make you pay more

>>600632909
Has it? How so? You go to cheap strip clubs and lame bars...I get the feeling its not working out as well as you think.

>>600631498
Don't worry. You'll understand when you have more money.

>>600633304

hurry up and get to the good part

>>600621747
>Go to strip club with friends
>Sitting there looking at some titties on stage
>Chick walks up and starts touching me
>Ugly as hell and black
>Tell her to go away
>Keeps pushing ass against me
>Smells like shit
>Push her away
>She stumbles
>She walks away angry
>Big guy calls me over and ask what happened
>Say "she wouldn't leave me alone"
>Guy say "man, that bitch is drunk again"
>Guy walks away
and I didn't even get a free drink

>>600633241
Because I read an interesting story, and decided to stick around. Narratives > strip clubs.

>>600633326
ohh I know now.But it's too fuckin late.
In the end i only spend 2 simple dances chips,like 40$.
I couldnt see any fucking reason she would be into me,but hell.. i still waiting for sth like this to happen with any girl i like so much at the first sight.
>yep,forever alone

>>600633646
Kek

>>600633304
>inb4 dinosaur

>>600621747

>Be me at university
>Friends and I go out one night drinking heavy
>Everyone is hammered
>But decide to end the night at the strip club
>We take a cab there and get in line, it was a busy night
>Its loud and crowded, but we manage to get in
>We don't see two of our friends follow us in
>We ignore it and think they went to the bathroom
>We start having a great time and forget about them
>After thirty minutes we decide to go check on them
>Can't find them anywhere
>We are so hammered we go back into the strip club and guess they went back to the dorms
>Next day I go to their dorm room and see one with a giant scratch across his face he had to get stitches for
>Apparently they get in to a fight with the entrance bouncers
>He got thrown face first onto the pavement and the other got arrested.
>mfw I realized I nearly avoided disaster

>>600633740

if it was the dinosaur he'd be on the floor already

>>600633614
true.
same amount of money and you at lest get to fuck one for equal minutes

>>600632586

You mean a lap dance area or champagne room? Some places have semi-private areas for regular lap dances. There's usually a lot more touching allowed in a champagne room and the bouncers don't bother you.

>>600633614
I could walk out my job right now and live comfortably for a few years without even touching my savings account.
Fairly sure I'm good on that, thanks anyway.

>>600633646
Oh God that reminds me. I took one a couple of my soldiers (was in the Army) to the club and one of them got a lap dance from this huge black chick.

This kid was 19 years old and had no idea what was going on. He was so nervous. He comes back and smelled like total shit. Like literal shit.

God that was funny.

>>600633324
I can interpret them just fine. To be honest, you basically sound paranoid, which is fine. But "high risk" is not "any amount of risk more than zero." You probably think going outside in a thunderstorm puts you at "high risk" at getting struck by lightning. And yes, people do get struck by lightning. But to call it a "high risk" activity is disingenuous and borderline laughable.

>>600633304
>not the girl.
>not a girl.
>really big dude.
>like, waaaaay bigger than me, and he's looking right at me
>uh oh
>he yells, i run
>i make it to the top of the stairs and he's right on me
>down the stairs, he jumps to... flying kick me? or something, misses and puts a foot into the wall, falls
>i make it to the front door, open it and see her walking up the driveway
>she smiles immediately, like i'm here to take her back, then realizes i'm running from dude
>she runs past me and tries to stop him, then tries to stop me from leaving
>and i narrowly avoided getting my ass kicked by some crazy stripper's new dude, or brother, or something, i never got the rest of the story

>i kept the job for about six more months, dated the new girl the whole time, and then got back into university research
>broke up with the girl after a while to date a cute little lab tech who's trying to get into med school
>got a job at a biopharma lab and have been pushing tubes for the last few years there
>i'll never work in a bar again, sometimes i go to that strip club because i know everyone that matters, it's still fun

>>600633630
the point is that there IS NO GOOD PART
strip clubs are places where guys go to get what they can't get otherwise
girls is girls, bro

there's no dinosaur, there's no bullshit, no bad ending
just banged a few strippers, even had a threesome with two of them, but that's it. you could get that at any job if you did it right, strippers are only slightly more apt to participate in activities like that because they're more likely to be exposed to the possibility.

fuck man, most strippers in Portland are lesbians anyway. It's kinda awesome, go to a strip club on an industry night and there will be dancers watching dancer yelling about how they wanna see more pussy during the first song.

good night

>>600633817
No, It starts of with the door, then the floor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYKupOsaJmk

>>600633475
dude, don't mess with this guy, his vicious insults will bring you to your knees!!!!!!

>>600633345

I have never been to a strip club. You are all pathetic losers that have to pay for a woman's attention. Fight me.

>>600633692
Fuck no man, go to plenty of fish or tinder, find a nice chubby, even a fatty, dont mention sex, make her laugh, ask her to watch a movie, say some bs like all you really miss is cuddling and watching a movie, get her over and put her legs across yours, start rubbing the inside of her leg and slowly move up, never touch her pussy but get close, take your time, try to wait near the end of the movie. By the end she should be wet and ready to fuck, start kissing her and then ask her to "cuddle in your bed". Rinse, Repeat.

Fucked like 60 diff chubbys/fatties this way, even fucking manned a few harpoons along the way. Skinny bitches just have to many people, that have more money running game on them, fat chicks love the attention.

>>600625776
>...see ya'll there tomorrow night!

the cringe

>>600633919
Just forget it. Let me know when you get tested and need to find a support centre.

>>600625776
>salt of the earth
>stupid

>>600633937
I spent more than my fair time at strip clubs while in the Army. My buddy and I were interrogators and we would go simply to play mind-games on the chicks.

Ended up having a table reserved for us. Fucked a few of them and can definitely vouch for you that strippers are a different breed.

>>600634093
yeah exactly, i half suspect that dude is just a god-tier troll ... the fucking subtlety!!

>>600633937
you're a vapid piece of shit, y'know that? cool story but, damn

>>600633945

yeah, his last post ended with him opening the door, so the next logical move would be to get on the floor.

>>600633937

>the point is that there IS NO GOOD PART

then why the fuck did you tell this shit story?

>>600621747
sit at the rack. drink a few pints. drop a bunch of dollars. get a lap dance or two. go home

>>600624630
you gotta wait 6 months after possible exposure for HIV test to be accurate, dumbass. You have aids. Go check again

>>600634090
This sounds like a terrible plan...
I'd much rather fuck people I'm attracted to, thanks.

>>600634375
you just don't get it

>>600621747
>be 18
>no license
>go out for some drinks with the boss and workmate
>boss decides to we go to the local titty bar
>owner is out the front
>say no
>boss gives money to get taxi home

>>600634458

>implying the people you're attracted to are attracted to you

>>600634090
thanx /b/ro buti'm there already (though far behind in numbers - like 3)
I keep wanting to succed in THE IMPOSSIBLE
e.g. >shy,poor,fat dude banging a skinny chick

>>600634491

I get more pussy than you, faggot.

>>600634575

You've had sex with 3 girls? You're like a God compared to my 2. Teach me your ways, sensei.

>>600634586
congratulations
i've found that after this long the number doesn't really matter any more...
pussy is pussy...

>>600633692

Same thing happened to me. Got 2 dances from a chick. She starts kissing me, grabbing my dick, etc. Ends up giving me 5 more dances for free. Starts asking me questions like "how many kids do you want?" I freaked because had just found out my brother unexpectedly got some chick pregnant. So I left. Went back a week later when I calmed down only to find out that she had been fired earlier in the night for throwing a bottle at someone.

>>600634458
>>600634575
Yeah see i like bigger girls, chubby is the best, but Im not too picky, pussy is pussy and i like em pretty big too. But plumpers are the best, like the kind you see in the chubby threads, smaller waist but still a little tummy, big tits and ass. They have to have a cute face too, ugly is ugly. Also, no one will fuck a fat girls with no tits and ass.

>>600634702
KEK'd

>>600633945

that's actually a really good song.

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>>600625409
>>600626758
>>600627008
>>600627323
>>600628173
>>600628379
>>600628970
>>600629078
>>600629143
>>600631666
>>600629678
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>>600633744

Thingsthatneverhappened.png

>>600629374
all places. he's lying

>>600633945

you mean to tell me this song was made before the Super Mario Bros. movie? How the fuck did they come up with this shit.

>>600634898
yeah this kind of girls is my thing.
and wise words
>ugly is ugly
NO EXCEPTIONS

>>600634814
shit,if i heard anything about kids i would have usain bolt-ed the place

>>600635100
They may not have seen it.

>>600621747
>go to strip club in munich with a friend
>drink a few pints getting kinda tipsy
>felling generous buying me and my friend each a private show
>I just sit there and watch
>touch here and there. nothing outrageous
>be finished and wait for my friend
>finally he comes out of the booth
>a few mins later club manager angrily walks up to the dancer my friend had
>throws a used condom in her face
>this club doesn't allow to actually have sex with the dancers
>obviously my friend had banged her
>screams at the dancer that she's fired for good
>friend casually walks up to her and say 'fuck it, let's go clubbing'
>we take the now unemployed hooker to the next club
>friend and she are going at it again on the train, inside the next club, anywere
>feel kinda left out
>drink a lot because fuck it
>my memory starts getting hazy here
>fast forward to next day around noon
>wake up under a bridge next to a trainstation
>mobile phone not to be found
>no money left
>go home
>friend left a message on the answering machine
>'dude, you were totally drunk yesterday.'
>'you lost your pants and crashed down the stairs into some other people.'
>'bouncers threw you out and you were gone'
>tell myself to never do anything like that again.

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ass implants!

>>600635697
This never happened.

>>600635986
oh yes it did.
i know it all too well.

Used to leave work and go to a full nude strip club, didn't get too many dances but I tended to see the same couple girls pretty regularly. One of them, slightly chubby, cute, seemed to like me. One night she asked me to take her home but I was married so I declined. I regret that sometimes. She used to come sit with me between stage dances if it was slow.

>>600636557
that's why you don't get married. marriage is evil.

>>600621923
oh nooo...they fucking rule! smoking beers...checkin out titties...what the fuck is not to like!??

>>600636679
You're an idiot. I'm going to bed.

>>600626384
Welcome to 4chan, enjoy your stay.

>be me
>be medfag
>go to strip club for the first time
>full nudity club
>buddies pay for me to get a lap dance
>while grinding 8/10 stripper asks what I do
>tell her I am medfag
>she gets excited and has her bald vag less than six inches from my face
>tells me she used to work at a hospital but had to quit
>because they kept making her empty colostomy bags (shit pouches)
>laugh hysterically causing me to lean foward and hit my forehead on her vag
>this makes me laugh uncontrollably which ends the dance
>no more lap dances for me

>>600636679

Oh, I know. Another story:

> Bachelor party for friend at same strip club as above
> Hot as fuck girl comes and sits with me, buy a dance
> Making a lot of eye contact instead of just looking into her cunt and at her tits
> She gets done, starts cozying up to me instead of moving on
> Stays and talks for a long time, party comes to hustle me out and back on the party bus
> She tries to keep me back and says "I knew you were in a band" after I explain otherwise
> Assholes drag me out

I have no idea why, but I seem to be popular with strippers in spite of not dropping more than a dance or two worth of money on them.

>>600636822
lost.

>>600634556
Yeah, I am.

>>600636915
at least I got a story out of it

>>600636913

>popular
>with women paid to give you attention to get more money

>Turn 21
>Pass gentlemens club on the way to work everyday
>Go with brother and his friend
>9 people in there
>1 bartender
>2 fat, balding middleaged overweight guys, probably from /b/, probably here right now
>Us 3
>6 chicks that were pushing 300
>Smells of bacon and rotten cheese in here
>Never gone to a strip club since
>Thought still makes me cringe