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is it time for one of these? anon's guide to growing weed
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The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
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Thread replies: 255
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is it time for one of these?

anon's guide to growing weed in you're closet
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>>600327416
Had a closet set up when i was 14. Moved outdoors when i was 16. Outdoor is so much better for profit. Quality, you wanna go indoor though.

May your harvest be bountiful /b/ros
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lurkin quietly
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>>600327787
I stick to the "50 bucks for 2 ounces" approach, but it's all good...better than tomatoes
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just grew some bubblegum, haven't smoked that since the 90's
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>>600328544
cont pls
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>>600329065
lol wrong pic
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i'm not interested in weed especially but i'm interested in plants

bump
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>>600329065
no worries
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>>600329065

look at this faggot
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>>600327416
>you're closet

fuck off
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>>600329356
sorry, fucked up that one, bad day :(
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>>600329459
heh heh heh

you're seem a little mad anon, rules 2 and 3 etc
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>>600329459
we've got a badass over here
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>>600329526
god damn youre using comic sans too, fuck me man!
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Monitoring this thread
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>>600329714
>highly complex business

try growing cherrys from cuttings you fucking faggot

clean bag shit is just standard
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went so retro, used a vhs holder to prop things up
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>>600330307
same

i need to get into this shit
>>
Fuck you faggot. you stole this from reddit.
http://imgur.com/a/nH9nj

Eat shit and die, bitch.
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>>600330583
I'd like to know how you do that anon, I'm not an expert and don't claim to be

I fudge things for cheap
>which are fudged
>but cheap
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>>600330869
Does it matter? Stop being a faggot
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>>600330869
>because pics can only be posted on one site
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>>600330869

reddit has better content to be fair
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>>600331020
When it was submitted 3 months ago, yes.
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>>600331150
>why isn't everyone else playing by my made up internet rules?
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>>600330869
>"anons guide"
>from reddit

nigga, that shit seems unlikely, redditards always cherry pick content from here
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>>600330869
I like you anon
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brb...beer
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>>600331861
where did small pot go?
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>>600331665
da fug?

at that size you can get the plant out of the small pot and not damage it by flipping it
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>>600332357
reading is hard
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>>600332357
it into it the whole time ¯\(°_o)/¯
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>>600333106
keep em coming!
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these thing suck balls, half the times they don't work, watch it
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>>600333634
why dont you use timed seeds?
worse quality?
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>>600333106
bump
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the pro growers hate this one...lol
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>>600334156
Fag
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>>600333848
bumperino
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>>600333809
autogrows you mean?

I tried it, small harvest :/
not saying they're bad, I just couldn't get on with them, few more tests
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didnt know growing weed was taking that much time
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>>600333848
i switched to geranium feed a few grows back, love it, just be sure to stop ferting a week or 2 sooner than you'd normally
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Had my own similar setup. Used a foot locker chest, though. Something new growers don't realize is how fucking easy it is.
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>>600334483
autoflowers are the way to go for in door, cause they don't give a fuck about light temp or nr of hours light they get
captcha; ewhey
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wow, great thread, gotta try at my parents place
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>>600334778
I was always nervous about using flower ferts,
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>>600335169
GTFO underage fag
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>>600335282
I'm 23.
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>>600335029
easy to grow, hard to perfect though.

I also do a cheap line in fermentation, not an award winning wine, but free wine is good wine
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>>600335593
>parents place
Either you're underage or a fucking neckbeard faggot
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>>600327416
streaming to catch a peso

Get in here
WWW.livestream.com/thebigshow20
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>>600335958
GTFO fgt
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>>600335196
don't be, just be careful not to overfeed, especially in the beginning, the plants don't use as much as geraniums, so if you go all out from the start you will have an excess build up. tbh i wouldn't feed them until they are budding, just use regular fert very sparingly
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did we do this one yet?

>kindahighmorpheosneo.jpg
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>>600336211
cool man, I started from "if you can eat it, you can smoke it" philosophy.
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Bump for interest!
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>>600336848
hah, same here, my first grow i ate everything from about an inch up, stem, leaves, clippings, everything, was fking wrecked before i even got to smoke it
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>>600337137
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>>600337179
that'sreally weird
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>>600337179
When my buddy did his first grow we took everything but the buds and threw it into everclear. 2 grows later we drained it out and took a shot and it got us so fucking baked.
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moaaar! when is done?
Gonna save it all for later use
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love this one
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>>600328544


Serious Seeds Bubblegum or???
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some of the bud I grow at my job
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>>600338437
sorry about the orientation..
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>>600337455
chopped up everything real fine and made soup of it with some vegetable stock stuff, it wasn't bad, i wouldn't recommend it, but it was edible. I mostly did it so i wouldn't leave a trace, my landlord at the time was getting a bit suspicious, he was an idiot, my house smelled like a fking dutch coffeeshop, but figured this way he'd have no proof
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>>600338311
bubblegum No1, every breeder has it in the back catalogue somewhere
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Bumping all day
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>>600335029
>fucking easy it is.
growing the plant is easy , but dealing with the stink is not. Even a small plant will smell up your whole apartment. And these days everybody knows what it is.
>>
Waiting for final product
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>>600338437
you wanna give me a job?

>resume included
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>>600335884
Eh, I've grown a backyard garden since I was 9 (25 now) so when I built my rig and started learning how to treat it I became pretty good.

Even helped my dealer build his attic grow room and give him pointers occasionally for free samples of his harvest.
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>>600337808
i'm gonna try that lmao, I've made small batches of moonshine before, but out of fear of methanol poisoning i never scaled it up
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>>600338790
Live in Oregon. Sorry friend. Everyone smokes that dankness here.
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>>600338790
carbon filter
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>>600338613
seems reasonable. get carbon filters yo!

my mother area

sorry again for orientation
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>>600327416
>>600328764
fuck retard rub rough them up before fucking planting them. also place i a paper towel. and why the fuck would u start from seed for a two plant closet grow? i hope u get two males out of your two plants after veg u fucktard.
>>
you not postin all the pictures tho
http://imgur.com/a/nH9nj?gallery
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>>600338861
im in seattle, where you at?
>>
weed is for lightweights, grow some poppy you faggots.
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>>600338982
Just use everclear. I think it's better than shine anyway.
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>>600338790
use citrus varieties
>no smell
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>>600339158
you gotta grow a LOT of poppy to get a substantial amount of resin
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I would grow but I live in a civilized place (colorado) and I can just go buy some cheaper than growing myself.
>>
>>600338649

Yeah skeen, I only ask 'cus serious's is a lickle more sativa than indica and wondered (cus I'm an indica fiend) if there was a good alternative ;p) bless though man
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What's the total time and cost of a grow like this?
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>>600339155
england, lol
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>>600339572
it's a very rewarding hobby, I love only smoking the dank that I grow. Although I acknowledge that is expensive at first.
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>>600339012
Yeah, about that..., forget 12months for the life cycle, halve that and swap them out at six months
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>>600338982
It's called tincture bro look it up. And you can make candies from that shit. Super ez.
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>>600339680
Your thread is shit off of those low lumens u would get about 3grams a plant if you are lucky and risk going to jail in bongland for 5 years
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>>600339680
bummer, we could use some new growers and I hate looking on craigslist.
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>>600339657
3-4 months, 50 bucks
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>>600332393
Youre just.clumsy
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>>600339081
Sometimes when you want to explain to someone why they're wrong, using arguments is a good thing.
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>>600340047
Thanks, very helpful.
>>
>>600339986
hiring a grower using some shit tier closet grow?
>>600339657
not worth the time and amount of bud you would get especially off of some s3 bullshit bag seed that could turn out a male 2 weeks into flower.
>>
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>>600340047
>>600340047

OP could you make an imgur album of these please?
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>>600340214
Thanks? I am right.
>>
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>>600339572
why would you pay somebody to do something when you can easily (and lucky for you legally) do on your own
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>>600339935
this fucking guy

>>600339986
thanks dude. This isn't a business for me, is just shit I do to get free weed without destabilizing the economy
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>>600340189
what? i said you should be able to get it out of the little pot without damaging it.
>>
>>600340316
well I'm not hiring him so, what do you want me to say? It's a simplified poor mans guide to growing. You sound like another elitest grower. You guys are a dime a dozen in this industry. We get it, nobody grows as good as you.
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>>600340324
This. In return, have this picture of a majestic pussy.
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>>600340324
you blind motherfucker i already posted a link
http://imgur.com/a/nH9nj?gallery
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>>600340324
this
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>>600340773
Got any more
>>
>>600340767
I doubt u even grew that pot. its either bought or a stock photo. i also doubt u are in the "industry" at all.
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>>600340778
Oh thanks, have another pussy
>>600340907
http://imgur.com/a/OJuWR Here you go.
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>>600341071
well you're wrong
>>
>>600341071
you can doubt whatever you want
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like a 2 foot high ugly bush
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>>600340643
>File: Picture 093.jpg (616 KB, 2016x1512)

As a guide., commercial growers will go for 50/50 and above colour change of the pistils from white to whatever, but they are growing for yield predominantly. The whiter the cut the more euphoric the high. 50/50's good though, and yes lower light lumen levels will give rise to a higher cbd cbvn content, think of THC as sunblock for ganja with equator buds being the highest exposure to UV ;p)
>>
>>600341159
>toldasaurusrekt
>>
>>600341159
sure i am, whats your setup like? how well do your crops yield at?
>>600341159
diff fag?
>>
>>600341362
BTW amber is a CBN not sure that most people like the body high. Reddit would make an aweful grow like this.
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>>600335029
gross, step up bums! canna products and coco coir, use super air pots. seeds take finesse dont skimp: get a dome with vent and presoaked potter cubes.
pic is my first grow ever
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>>600341452
that was me

I work in 6 different flowering rooms with 24 1000W HPS lamps per room cooled with an HVAC system

sorry making you tilt your head, they were taken on my phone
>>
>>600341634
Popcorn buds m8 grab a 1k watt HPS and veg under those FL's is u have to... always bud under 1k unless u plan on veging all winter and outdooring it for flower. top your plants next time at least twice as well. it effects the yield a shitton.
>>
>>600341583
elaborate on this
>>
>>600340444
I don't know if you're right, because you didn't argue anything at all. You just spurted things and called people stupid without explaining anything.
>>
>>600342007
Simply there are three stages to trichomes a clear inactive THC, a cloudy active thc and a amber CBN
CBN is good for oils edibles and a great body high, active cloudy thc is where you get more of a head high and a bit of a body high. harvesting at about 40% cloudy will cure into what would be high quality smoking bud.
>>
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some GDP that just got harvested
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>>600341954
>this was finished
>these werent under 600w mh and hps
This was the size of a soda can, had 2.5 more weeks to go. someone get this idiot a helmet.
>>
>>600339986
I'm planning on moving to Seattle during the summer. Maybe I'll look into this?
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>>600342231
When planting a small grow go from clone so you are garenteed females, low lumens = low yield, its a fact, other techniques like fimming and topping increase yield if the lumens allow it. >>600342411
^for the rest of the shit^
>>
is this fucking posted in the right order?
the filenames make me confused...
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>>600342411
fucking a, thank you, interesting
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>>600342486
if you have experience or a degree in horticulture/plant biology thats a big help.
>>
so where is a safe place to buy seeds in the US? In a non legalized state? I mean, can you just order them right to your door?
>>
MAKE IMGUR ALBUM PLEASE DUEE
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>>600342818
Yes, there are websites that sell seeds to the US.
>>
>>600342444
nice soda can for reference and the picture u posted before was under swirling florescence lmao. dont call me a dumb cunt if u have no reference m8. and why did u use the MH? instead just the HPS was it to cold in your grow? shits like 30,000 less lumens
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>>600342489
>>600342561
>>600342605
>>600342656
>>
>>600342605
omfg drying under lights........ yep shit tier. the point to drying is to remove the chlorophyll from the bud and into the stem. and these cunts are slowing if not halting that process... REASONS you do this is for a less harsh and more enjoyable better smelling smoke.
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>>600342644
>OC
>on MY /b/?
>>
>>600343015
thanks for the dump anon, good shit. saving this for later use
>>
>>600343249
>dipshit, it SAYS no lights. Ugh.
>>
>>600342662
NP i might sound like a dick and its becuase of these "anyone can grow" fucking threads that fill peoples minds with bullshit that ends up most cunt in jail for a few male plants and 6 grams of shitty pot.
>>
>>600343015
there is another one before that but it wont let me uplaod

basically it explains the curing part. look it up fags
>>
>>600343249
If you read a little, great things will come to you.
>>
yeah flushing drying and curing are just as crucial as any step of the growing process
>>
>>600343249
It says in the dark, did you just scroll by and try to act like a fucking information hub? Faggot
>>
>>600329065
her swimming technique is such a turn off
>>
>>600343378
got it. didnt care to read this shit just assumed its all crap tier.
>>
But Im not a closet
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>>600342784
Hey man i live in sweden and i've kept grows for a couple of years, and my weed is the beston the market, according to all my customers! So if i ever come by Seattle, can i get an audition?
>>
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>>600343249
I turned the lights on so you could see it

would you prefer a black box as an illustration?
>>
>>600343413
anyone can grow

but they shouldn't be using something like this as a guide
>>
>>600343486
>>600343453
I hope u faggots saved these and go to jail or smoke some moldy shitty weed.
>>
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>>600343557
frig off
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>>600343557
So you're both stupid AND stupid.
>>
>>600342605
I've found a table fan blowdrying the weed is a really good way to speed up the drying process.

I keep the weed in a plastic bag with its open end pointing towards the fan and the closed end i cut a medium sized hole, for the air to blow through.
>>
>>600342784
I'm a pastry chef. Need anyone to make some THC laced French pastries?
>>
>>600343666
nice trips
the guide is good it just depends on living standards and anons ability not to talk abaout growing weed in his home
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>>600343694
wat
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>>600343592
hell ya man. You should follow growers on instagram, and contact them through that. It works.
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>>600329012
Im stuck at this part, Im supposed to fuck it?
>>
>>600343249
Retard detected
>>
>>600327416
Hello fellow ent. Can you send the original link to the imgur album? I remember seeing this on /r/trees but I didnt save it. Need the link for my mate
>>
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>>600339680
If you're in London I could sure do with some weed! maybe you can hook me up
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>>600344066
yes human seed is best seed
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>>600340214
i keked my trousers off
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>>600327416
>you're
Off to a bad start there pal
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>>600328208
>comic sans
>YAY
>dirtin
Are you actually 14
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>>600339935
>thinking police care about weed in England even a little bit
kek
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>>600339935
Lel my friend got caught growing 12 plants in tents in his garden and got a warning.
Enjoy going to jail for 5 years for having a joint amerifat
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>>600343818
I'm not in the edible business myself, but there are plenty of placers opening up in the legal states
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>>600344348
>>
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i don't grow weed but i do grow hydroponically
very simple and easy
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>>600343982
only problem is weed is illegal here, so i gotta keep it on the downlow. But the strain i grow is my own, i've taken several different strains and cross-pollinated them to get this strain, and it's the fucking bomb! The high is like a full body high, everything just feels better and amplified, but it doesn't slow you down or put you in a couchlock unless you smoke waaaay too much. It also gives you lots of creativity and makes you wanna go do stuff, and many of my friends say they can remember stuff more vividly while they're a little buzzed on it. I just wish it was legal here so i could put it to good use, and actually have a real job..
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>>600342871
>>600342871
>ctrl+f
>imgur
>??????
>Profit
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>>600345193
stupidly easy passive hydro
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>>600327534
How come you don't add water to the seedlings during germination?
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>>600344954
he got it of the internet anon, it's not actually his handiwork, he's just dumping the album as the main thing this stoner thread is based around, welcome to the internet though, how're you finding it newfriend?
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>>600344954

Maybe I used comic sans deliberately and you were the first person to notice it?
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Even after all these pictures and help I still don't know how to grow weed. Y
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>>600345208
I don't doubt you made a crossed strain, but if you want your breed to be genetically sound, you should refer to this chart. Also that sounds awesome, I wish I could smoke some of your bud.
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>>600345027
>going to jail for 5 years for having a joint amerifat
it depends what state you are in. In some states - its just a fine for growing a few plants.
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>>600345407
the seed just needs a warm moist place to hang out until it sprouts, more water will only drown it
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>>600345687
Tell that to the FBI when they take away all your civil rights
> bu-bu-but muh freedoms
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>>600327416
With 1kW lighting for that amount of time, you could almost buy that outcome. You would save time, nothing would smell and you basically take no risk for jail time.

1kW at 18/24 hours a day for a month is around 65€ (as the euro is currently quite weak, that would be ~72$ for our Amerifags) where I live.
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>>600345511
put your dick in a plant pot with soil and fuck it until you plant your seed in it.

now piss all over that for 5-6 months and you should get a nice weed plant.

fun fact: the wee in weed comes from the fact that you water it with wee!
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>>600345910
ok, you know we have 4 states that have legalized right?
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>>600345910
If you're stupid enough to be caught you deserve for them to be taken away
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>>600339155
Yo shit nigga I'm in seattle and broke as fuck
Do you seriously have a job I could do
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>>600345927
where do you see 1000 watt lights?
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>>600333106
Hm, it doesnt say about what week you do it. I like your tutorial but some important informations are missing.
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>mfw I spent 2000$ to build a fancy grow closet
>mfw I have never used it
>mfw 1500 of that was donated by friends who now hate me
>>
>>600346068
check for trimmer jobs on craigslist, we be hirin'
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>>600342983
>why did you use MH
were done here
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>>600345589
if i ever come by i'll give you some seeds to try, or saplings if i can smuggle them through
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>>600346068
I'll gib you 40$ per day to kiss my balls good night.
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>>600346394
lol'd
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>>600346189
no wonder they hate you, you inconsiderate shit
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>>600346016
>FBI
>Federal Bureau of Investigation
>Federal
just sayin
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>>600346471
nice, looks like around week 5 going on 6
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>>600346016
I thought it was 3?
Do you know that federal law supersedes state law?
Land of the free, home of the brave!
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>>600346471
what the hell is wrong with that finger?
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>>600330583
>OMG my cherries
>so i lol'd
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>>600346491
Yeah but in fairness I haven't been able to find a seed source.

I also perhaps stupidly built a fancy aeroponic system which is probably the hardest growing method to learn/master.
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>>600346172
my guess would be when it's young and flexible...
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>>600346189
you stole 1500 from your friends
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>>600346563
I get it, but the FBI isn't out to get closet grows let alone weed. Maybe if you're pulling in like 100k of untraceable income, then you might have problems with DEA FBI and IRS
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>>600346618
Alaska just went legal today
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>>600346189
fucking grow then shithead, you owe them 1500 in decent quality weed, plus interest if you want to be nice
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>>600346189
Thug life
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>>600327416
WEED IS FOR NIGGERS
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>>600346770
Week 1 or 2 at the latest, but I am sure you can push the boundries
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>>600345910
>Tell that to the FBI
The FBI generally does not get involved in busting small personal grows.
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>>600346838
Yea, i'm aware, i thought it was Colorado, Washington and Alaska? Who's the fourth?
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>>600346658
I met your mom and everything changed
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>>600346991
>generally
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is this ops oc?
anyways, ive got some seeds but i bought them on august. i guess i should be trying to grow them asap?
what about the smell? is it very apparent?
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>>600346994
Oregon
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>>600346220
Thanks, I'll look
Any company name or anything I should look for?
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>>600347083
buy carbon filter. it will be apparent around week 6 and especially during harvest.
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>>600339007
This. Its fucking awesome how tolerant everyone in oregon is about pot. I'll be the first to admit that I am very flagrant about my use. I smoke my bong on my patio, I share a backyard with a fuckload of others. I do have a green card, but ive never had to whip it out.
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>>600346976
Smoke till you black
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>>600346747
still your fault, you fucking spent 2k on a growing closet without finding seeds, try harder to find seeds
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>>600346994
Oregon, but not til July
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>>600347086
Not until July i thought?
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>>600347083
What the fuck, are they like 50% filter?
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>>600327416
Dude can you like put all those pic in a rar or something and upload it? Too lazy to download each one, would be much appreciated.
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>>600347207
what about ventilation? should i be running a couple of fans in a relatively small closet?
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>>600346747
hempdepot.ca

that simple. dont even need a credit card.
>>
Bit of a pro-tip here for you amateurs.

Blow a load in your plants soil once every three days. The organic boost will do wonders for your plant, and will make for a nicely chilled but happy buzz from the buds.
A bit of life juice adds a nice spiritual touch to the product
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>>600347416
so you dont burn your fingers roaching
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>>600346846
I plan to attempt a grow soon.
Not sure if they even smoke anymore but I haven't spoken to those "friends" in many years.
Would be nice to eventually re-connect and give them some Weed if they still want it.

>>600346912
One of them awkwardly tried to threaten me when he realized he wasn't getting his 500 back.
They were all rich WASP's though from wealthy families so yeah... was never that worried.

Funny story though I did once get robbed by a nigger friend (former friend) of 300$ in some extremely nice Weed.
I told my mom he robbed me and she gave me back the 300. :D
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>>600347426
And you want to grow pot? Not with that 'tude.
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>>600347125
fire bros, solstice, ms. greenthumb, the CCC are some of the big ones. but my guess would be they aren't too specific in the ad. At my company it starts at 12/hr. And they are generally looking for chill people who get along with other people. that sounds stupid, but we have had SJW types who haven't worked out and have gotten fired for it. Also a clean record is usually necessary.
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>>600347525
almost talked me into it
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>>600347450
you need air in and out, unless you're gonna supply co2
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Threads like this piss me off, i used to smoke everyday for 3-4 years and i had a few bad experiences on shrooms and now i can't really take any psychoactive drug (including weed) without freaking out.
Anyone got any similar experiences ?
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>>600347525
I wouldnt buy weed from you.
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>>600327416
none of this is accurate. who the fuck taught you to grow?
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>>600347450
oh yes, you don;t want moldy bud. get one or 2 small fans.
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>>600347555
I'd rather have a bottom of tobacco than 4 inch filters.
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>>600347577
Well I figured a tutorial would be more helpful if you can view the pics after the thread got deleted and these are a lot! But ok I can look for another tutorial, still a good one tho!
Thread replies: 255
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